Guys, I pulled off this perfect "heist" and I am completely

Ur gonna get backtraced and die

describe what your heist was

can I have 50 bucks

>>593327133
summarize heist plox

>>593327133
>>593327311
>>593327466
Checked

>>593327311
God forbid the cyber-police get involved!

>>593327133
donate some to vpixelmon.pangoro.net

>>593327133
What was your 'heist'?
Why aren't you answering questions?

Describe loot, faggit.

Op stop being faggot and answer shit. What kind of heist (if it's too descriptive then don't describe it), how many people you clapped, what was your technique in doing this , also inb4 this is gta v and your a fag, finally SHOW US THE MONEY

How the fuck is he so photogenic? I don't fucking understand, it's like every picture he's in is a good picture.

>>593327466

Went into popular fast food place at 5 minutes until closing I wore a Mcdonald's outfit (a friend had it) and it fit me so I rang the "doorbell" at the backdoor because It can only be opened from inside unless you got a key and the nigger employee just let me in, had a fake mustache and had longer hair then. I got inside, and told him to be quiet and give me his phone, which he tried to say he didn't have a phone which was bullshit and ziptied him and left him back there asked him how many others there were, and he said 3, so stealth mode engaged, doing the same to the other 3, zip tied and covered their eyes with a cloth (which I had when I went in) I left the manager untied and he led me to the safe where the money was already taken out and in bags with zippers to transport to bank. After I was done with the last manager, I zip tied him and stored him in the back all of them are sitting on chairs and hands tied seperatly to ensure they can't get out until they open at 5

Yeah It was planned out well

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>>593328198
I am answering questions.
>>593328589
Putin is hawt
>>593327895
gif related, what i would do if the cyber pigs bust down my door.

>>593328713
Chicken nugger

>>593329023
Don't cut yourself on that edge bro.
>>593328713
>Obviously has never been inside Mcdonalds at closing time and thinks "Stealth mode" would work

>>593328272
I didn't clap anyone I can't show the money as I said I can't take risks in having myself identified.
Though it's not as much as you think because it fit in only 2 bags the size of school pencil bags

>>593329220
I didn't mean I tried to be stealthy, but I tried to be quiet as fuck. Also, when I went in no one was in the back where the shelves are.

>>593329378
And the part where you successfully zip tied the 3 other employees without any of the other employees noticing or struggling?

OK tell me this:

> How many dudes did you have with you?

> What type of place was it?

> What technologies or tools were involved in the pulling of this "heist"?

> How did you avoid detection?

On the basis of your answers to these qs, I will decide whether you are a fraud or not. Good luck!

>>593329819
I did one at a time, all of the employees were fairly spread out, the first one was in the stock area, where shelves are, second was doing dishes around the corner to the left, third was manager who was in the office, around the corner in a blindspot I guess, and fourth was in lobby mopping all the way up front
Have you never been in a Mcdonald's?
And no, people tend to be pretty quiet when they having the barrel of a gun in their back

Weird you should post this right now, my boss is going on about how this guy took us for 23k and probably thinks he wasn't identified but he said we actually know exactly who he is and the cops are after him now.

>>593327311
consequences will never be the same

>>593328713
calling bullshit. There's no way it would be that easy unless you had a gun. You also didn't really "plan" anything. You just got incredibly lucky that nobody walked in on you tying people up, assuming this really happened, which it didn't.

>>593330902
>There's no way it would be that easy unless you had a gun

see

>>593330287
>people tend to be pretty quiet when they having the barrel of a gun in their back

>>593330287
oh, so NOW you had a gun? You didn't think that was worth mentioning in the original story? You're full of shit

>>593330248

Only 2 but the guy waited outside (this guy was a former employee there but got fired)

Not exactly sure what you mean, it was a pretty small building, but secluded definitely as the nearest building was 6 blocks away and the nearest police station was on the other side of the city and response time was 10 minutes just to get there as we tested this before in the planning stage

Technologies? A car, a gun, It was pretty easy, not like Mcdicks is a the Bank of America.

Planned it for 2 months before doing it. Tested police response times, knew how far away police are, even the patrol cars.

Believe me or not, but I wont post money as I said I wont identify myself.

>>593330984
if you had to use a gun, it wasn't some elaborate "heist", it was just straight up armed robbery even a dumb nigger could have pulled off.

>>593331042

I thought it was fucking common sense to realize that when doing a heist you are fucking armed.

>>593330563

but do you work for Mcdicks?

>>593329240
>2 bags the size of school pencil bags
>23k

nigger you're not fitting 23k from MCDONALDS in two of those small ass bank bags. most MCDs dont accept bills over $20. nobody goes to MCD and pays with a hundo unless its a forgery and theyre trying to get change

if it were ALL $20s, you would have more than 1,150 bills

a ream of paper is 500 sheets of thinner paper, and 500 dollar sized pieces of paper woudnt fit into a small bank bag like that

and thats assuming its ALL 20s

as well all know niggers an messicans use $1s and $5s, whatever they can steal from the tip jar at starbucks

>>593331229

Ok sir, you try tying up four people while you are unarmed.

>>593331320
when most people talk about a heist they mean something a little more elegant than just shoving a gun in someone's face and grabbing some cash. That's just robbery - the way you were describing it made it sound like a "true" heist, where you get in and out without the victim even knowing you were there

>>593331561
>mean something a little more elegant

theyre usually not niggers. hes proud he wrote his first really short story

>>593331531

Where is your source that Mcdonalds doesn't except bills over $20?
Yes they do dumb ass as I counted it after wards. And who says only niggers go to mcdonalds anyways?

Have you ever heard that people use large bills because they want to make change out of them?

>>593331561

Ok then it was a robbery

>>593331795
I'd guess maybe at best 10% of people use bills bigger than a 20 to buy fast food in america, and that's being pretty generous.

>>593327133

What's your favorite heist movie?

>>593332069

It doesn't happen often but there's a lot of 20s in her. The bags were a little larger than pencil bags but it was the best comparison.

>>593332261

The Town

ben affleck is hot.

>>593331795
mcdonalds in any metro area has signs all over saying they dont accept bills over $20. and again, its not like mcd is an upscale place where people who eat there even HAVE $100

pic of the cash, wipe the exif data to prove you're not a nigger faggot

>>593332270
i have one of those bank bags in my house right now. you're not fitting $23k in small bills in two of them. maybe four or five. maybe

>>593332386

It was a city of 115K people, not a huge metro area. As I said, people pay with larger bills sometimes to make change. Say if they have a hundred order a $5 meal, and they want a fifty and a twenty and some tens.

When I worked at mcdicks back in the day there was a maintenance manager that worked all night cleaning the grease traps and changing the cooking oil etc. Is that a thing of the past?

>>593332504

it was mostly 20s and 50s. Believe me or don't.

>>593332702

No one like that here, guy i did it with said the employees do it.

Jared, this is the FBI. We're on our way to snatch your penny pinching hands and put some good ole justice bracelets on them.

>>593332630
>115K people
so youre telling me, in a city of 115k people, that many people went to MCDs, and paid in $100 bills, in a couple days (max)?

there is a reason companies do nightly bank drops. say bank was closed, or the nigger forgot. whatever, its still highly unlikely there was $23k sitting in the safe at MCD,

especially with the recent invention called the 'debit card'

>>593332924
you're not going to be able to arreest him for robbery, since it never happened. you can arrest him for premeditated niggery, and aggrivated faggotry

>>593327133
Is 23k a lot of money to you? Is it worth doing 10 years hard time and never being able to get a real job the rest of your life. I'd think very carefully about that, if I were you.

op why are there several news stories of mcdonalds getting robbed, but none of them were less than a month ago and none of them match your description? If you really stole 23000 dollars at gunpoint, especially leaving witnesses, you would have gotten a story too.

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>>593332924

Keep talking like that to me Mr. Lawman, I am ready for the Cock of Justice

>>593333333
Winrar

>>593333333
You nigger, nice get.

>>593333333
SHIT

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>>593333333
FUCKING FAGGOT WASTED IT

>>593333333
oh fuck

>>593333333
SHITSTORM INBOUND

>>593333333
DAMN SON

>>593333333
Niice

>>593333333
holy shit

>>593333333
holy shieeeeeeeet

>>593333333
Wasted get

>>593333333
The winrar of winrars

>>593333333
nice

>>593333333
AYY LMAO

>>593333333
Fuck this pussy shit. /b/'s never been good.

>>593333333
Incoming shitstorm

>>593327133
Reported to the mods and the fbi. They should be connecting your ip address to your identity any minute now. When the party squad breaks down your door tell them I said 'hi.'

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>>593333333

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>>593333333

>>593333333
nice buds

>>593327133
How many times did you get off today?

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>>593333333
Sometimes I dream about that kind of bread

>>593333333
czech em

>>593333333
FAGGOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>593333333
FUCKING WINRAR

Go buy something big so the IRS will come and ask where you got that money

>>593333333
HERE WEE GOOOO

>>593333333
Oh my God, I got 7 threes. Don't even know how to say it in english.
Listen fucktard you better take my advice.

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>>593333333
We should kill the next person that gets one of these.

>>593333333


You won a lot of internet points today my sweet prince

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>>593331193
Due to the fact you were wearing a McDonald's uniform, the police will most likely question your friend who worked there. I hope he doesn't roll over easy or else you are fucked.

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>>593333333

>>593327133
what a dumbass

IP trace incoming

have fun getting v&

>>593333333
sorry about your thread OP

>>593333333
are you the new moot?

>>593333471
he didn't waste it. he derailed OP's faggot thread. epic get
>>593333333
yee

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>>593333333
from the rest of us at 4chan, congrats

>>593333699
dubs confirm.

>>593333333
Too bad this guy is a faggot

>>593333333
You will never get an answer to that question

>>593333333
Just going to reply because it's so cool

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>>593333333

>>593333333
Fuck, I'm a 4chan hero!

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>>593333333
Really...

>>593333113

Most we 20s and 50s. not 100s and again, there was at least 10 of every bill.
this was at closing time, they already had the cash in the bags and were in the process of driving it to the bank, this was the cash at the end of the day that was on it's way to the bank

I can only imagine how much Mcdicks rakes in counting transactions with credit/debit cards

>>593333333
Nigger

>>593333333
Suck a bunch of bbc

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>>593333333

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>>593333333
OH MY GOD

>>593333333
faggoti

>>593333333
YOU WASTE A SEPT GET

>>593333712

My friend is dead, wont tell story and I didn't kill him either.

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>>593333333

>>593333333
What a waste!

Tell me again about what you did about the surveilance cameras and cctv inside, outside and in the vicinity as you approached, did your business and left wearing a McD's uniform which doesn't include a mask?

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>>593333333

>>593333333
another failget god dammit

/b/ is kill

>>593333333
nigga got septs.

>>593333961
I'm the blackest fuckin white nigger you ever saw.

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>>593333333

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>>593333333

>>593334096
so how'd you go about getting your dead friend's mcdonalds uniform?

>>593333846
So you think 23K is worth the risk.. only faggot here is OP and you... poorfags

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>>593333333

>>593333333
Oh-boy, fuckked er up

>>593333578

I'll tell them more than just hi.

>>593333934
> driving it to the bank
> closing time
What time was this?

>>593333333

>>593333405

Not sure but keep digging.

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>>593333333
>mfw

>>593334241
It's like dividing by zero. The universe is going to wink out.

>>593333925
Anti-hero, more like. You're revered in the same fashion Obama and Anita Sarkeesian is revered.

>>593334352

The Mcdonald's closes at midnight and I came in 5 minute until close

>>593333333
He's not in prison now bitch! What a waste

I'm so fucking depressed and nobody cares...

if doubles mods don't have to sign a legal accountability agreement!

was it a bank

>>593333333
What an abortion candidate

>>593333333
Reasons are worth it.

>>593333333
NICE GET

>>593334563
thats really unfortunate.

>>593334666

>>593333333
FAGGOT

>>593334241
I know you. >>593333918

>>593333333
quadrachecked

>>593333934
in a town of 115k

you are saying mcdonalds pulled in $23k in a day
8.3 million annually IN CASH in a town of 115k

the average MCD store pulls in 2.3M annually

chik-fil-a is #1 and they pull in 2.85mil annually


pic of cash timestamped or you're a lying faggot, but we already know what the answer is

riiiiighht

>>593333333
Beat him down you fucking getter

>>593334234
Wigger?

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>>593333333

>>593333333
toasting in epic bread

>>593334684
must be the most obese town in america and the only place you can eat is that McD.

>>593333333
Jesus has arrived

>>593334684

timestamp on cash would identify me, scroll up.
I'll enjoy my 23K cash while you labor away at your shit job hoping for a half day off this money should last a few years.

>>593333333
Aww shit, advice confirmed.

>>593333846
Thank you sir, thank you.

>>593334851

There's only 3 Mcdicks so yeah

>>593334194
This, or was it some Amish community McDonalds with no cctv?

>>593334851
mcdonalds cant even serve a fraction of that 115k on rascal scooters a day. they dont move fast enough to make the line move

>>593333333
SEPTS

WE HAVE SEPTS

MOTHER FUCKING SEPTUPLES

>>593333333
Checked, faggit
>he's totally right though

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>>593333333
Well done Anon.

>>593334975

Nope, there wasn't a mask but the Mcdicks uniform includes a hat which shielded me mostly from the cams. Not really too worried as my description is pretty common.

>>593334241
I now command the fucking universe. Bow down.

>>593334900
actually timestamp on cash WOULDNT identify you anymore than posting on this 'anonymous' board

but i get it, you dont want to admit you're full of shit


i noticed how you completely avoided my pointing out how the numbers dont match at all

>>593333333
Holy FUCK

>>593335023

Quit believing in the stereotypes faggot, Mcdonalds in the city doesn't get any landwhales on scooters and if there is it's an elderly person or a tard.

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Enjoy being buttfucked by bubba...

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ITT, pedophiles

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>>593328713
>Went into popular fast food place
Ok..., Not giving too much away

>I wore a Mcdonald's outfit

>>593335194

Because I didn't look up how much the average mcdicks store made a year.
Why does that matter?

>>593335146
Lol; is your description 'faggot wearing a mcdonald's uniform'?

>>593327133
You will get away with it.

>>593333333
OP got BTFO

>>593335384

Probably

>>593335454

I know I will as I already have, this happened a day ago.

>>593333333
Holy shit

>>593333333
Shit get

>>593335258
depens on which city

regardless, mcdonalds in NYC still wont pull in $23k on their best day

in a tiny ass town of 115k? yeah. not happening

>>593334563
poor mods.

>>593334886
Stop stepping the fuck on my robe.

>>593328589
To be photogenic you need to act normal while the photo is being taken. If you deliberately pose for the camera and put on a fake goofy smile, you'll look ugly.

>>593333333
SEPTA-GET!! FUUUUUUCK!

>>593335643

I have the money beside me.

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>>593333333
FTW
Btw does anyone have >>555555555 ?

>>593328713
Did you finally play Payday 2?

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>>593333333

>>593327673
yeah me too plz

>>593335815

What's that?

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>>593335718
Like this

>>593335359
it matters because you claim to have robbed a MCD location for a days take, which you said was $23k

however its nearly impossible for a large metro area MCD to come close to that amount WITH cards. yet you claim to have taken that in cash, in a town with 1/10 the population of an average city

average MCD makes $6,300 PER DAY

not anywhere CLOSE to $23k+

its impossible for a MCD in a town of 115k, on an average week/day

>>593333333
DAMN SON WHERE'D YOU FIND THIS!!!

>>593335804
prove it

oh thats right, you cant

you already admitted to robbing the place. a picture with a timestamp will do no worse


keep using that as an excuse though. nobody believes you

>>593335970
They don't only use what's in the register. They have safes filled with extra monies and shit. Probably not 23K but more nonetheless.
Source
>I worked at a fast food chain for my first job

>>593335643 Agreed. They're full of shit. I live in a city that size and work at a restaurant. They pull in less than 10k a day during the busy season.

>>593333333
shieeet, check 'em

>>593335970

Ok son keep telling yourself that
I would like to know your source for these facts which are false.

Where is your source when stating MCD makes 6.3K a day?

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>>593333333
That glorious get

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>>593333333
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--

>>593334526
you're right

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>>593333333

>>593333333
AMAZING.

>>593336221
yeah. the draw in a high end restaurant is maybe $7k


MCD wont be keeping nearly that much, an more than half of their business is in debit/EBT cards now

no way a mcdonalds will pull $23k in ONE day of cash alone.

what OP is claiming is the store did nearly $40k in sales IN ONE DAY

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>>593333333

>>593336450
http://www.forbes.com/sites/caroltice/2014/08/14/7-fast-food-restaurantchains-that-rake-in-2m-per-store/

all the numbers right there. and i calculated assuming they are open 365/yr

theres this magical thing called a 'calculator'

you put in numbers, hit the type of magic you want, and it spits out different numbers

keep crying faggot

>>593333333
get

>>593334900
>this money should last a few years.
you're in grade school, aren't you?

captcha: derpe

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>>593333333
Oh baby!

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>>593336600

>>593336848
of course. this nigger is trying to claim MCDonalds makes a gazillion dollars, and he went in all james bond and shit and robbed them of half a months earnings, which they strangely kept on site, without ever depositing

>>593336781

Are you jealous?

>>593336848
My bills are $1000 a month total, utilities, rent, internet/cable/phone/car insurance/rec budget

So not quite 2 years but a little over a year and a half.

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>>593333333

>>593337090
nope. just smart enough to know a lying faggot when i see one.

are you stupid? since i've laid out all the numbers to show you how its impossible, but you keep denying it

although you could just timestamp the cash, yet you claim it'll incriminate you, more than logging on to a monitored forum, and admitting you 'robbed' a place kek

stay mad

>>593337090
dude, I couldnt live off that for half a year, you must have some meager ass lifestyle

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>>593333333

>>593337388
hes a nigger. or teenager. maybe a niglet

>>593333333
SEPTA OH SHIT NIGGA

>>593334900
>I'll enjoy my 23K cash
>this money should last a few years

lol, Poorfag,

that wouldn't last me two months. you are either some grade school shithead, or you live in the ghetto.

>>593333333
BOO YAH

>>593337375

I went in not really knowing how much they would have.
yes the cash will identify me such as an object in the background (in car now), out the window shot of some place near me
The less info the better, faggot.

Keep slaving away at your factory job sir.

>>593337388

Maybe, I have a one bdrm place, everything is in one room and rent is $350.

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>>593333333

>>593337375
maybe have fun with this: /wiki/List_of_United_States_cities_by_population

>>593337626

Or you know, you could move away from the city and pay decent priced rent for a decent place (for me)

Tell me do you like paying 3K for a closet in NYC?

>>593327133
I embezzled around 55k a year from a job I worked at, actually stole more then I was getting paid.
I worked at a replanet, a recycling center, in California. We were allowed 2.3% weight variance due to shrinkage caused by water evaporation, I worked with one other person, and we always subtracted the max amount of weight we could, as if all material we received was 'wet', even though most was dry and skimmed 2% of the weight of the bins before every pick up, knowing we would still be well within out weight, even got the bonuses for being well within the weight.
Our kiosk did about 250-300k units month on average , and at 5 and 10 cents at unit, we made out like bandits

>>593333333
o shit nigger

>>593327133
23k

dude, you will get caught. fucking moron... plus this thread is proof of how stupid you are

>>593337951
you made out with your coworker? greentext

>>593328713
>Planned out well
But you don't know how many people are inside? Cool story bro.

>>593338126

I wont be caught happened a day ago, It's impossible now.
Maybe this thread is proof but that's why timestamp and cash wont be posted

>>593333333
FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKK!!!!!

>>593337765
see? you're just trying to make excuses. someone who actually HAD the cash could easily take a picture of it on the ground, or bathtub, anywhere without identifying features. its not hard,

>hurr durr hey everyone online i robbed a store!
>derp i dont want to incriminate myself hurr

stay butthurt pleb

maybe take a class on better creative writing. something that wont make you sound like a faggot pleb dreaming of a score worth $23k

kek

>>593338233

I knew there would be no more than 6.

Which location was it, OP?

>>593338322

Do you like your minimum wage factory job with no hazard and no overtime?
How is your closet apartment in NYC for 3K a month treating you?
Do you like being a failure living in a closet?

Stay jealous, pleb.

>>593337849
if it were true, he is in:
Lansing, Michigan
Columbia Missouri,
El Monte, CA
Provo, UT
Peoria IL

but we all know he is from faggotsville, population OP

>>593338449

I can't say.

>>593338565
yup. Anything that size has a minimum of 6 McD restaurants. OP is full of shit.

>>593338565

One of those is winrar

>>593338128
I don't have to green text shit, you idiot
>you made out with your coworker?
Yes and she was a great looking chick
I had to do all the heavy lifting

>>593338685

I said 3.

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>>593338496
whats the matter? throwing a tantrum because you dont have money to take a picture of?

mad that i called bullshit on your little nigger fantasy? maybe you should be mad at yourself for not knowing math, or how the world works.

do your parents know you're up this late?

>>593338496
so what is your momma gonna say when you show up wearing a shiny new hoodie and shinier new grills? Don't you think she'll realize something is up?

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>>593333333

>>593338818

I'm not mad where are you getting this?

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>>593338695
even though its not true,

you do realize that all IPs here are logged, and proxies are pleb-tier security right?

have fun explaining yourself if there were any REAL robberies in your area

>>593339070
denial. you seriously must be 13 kek

just think, OP - if you did this a few more times, say every three or four days, in less than a month you'd be set for life!

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>>593333333

Nice get.

>>593339234

I haven't denied anything.

>>593339149
Proxies might be "pleb tier" but it's better than no security.

I am genuinely interested as to what your tip said, the FBI doesn't take tips from 4chan serious at all lmao.

>>593339429
>the FBI doesn't take tips from 4chan serious at all lmao.
Oh yes we do.

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>>593333333
holy shit

>>593339708

"Oh yes we do"
Oh are you the cyber police? Lmao.

>>593335929
Where you copied this story from.

>>593333333
This is the highest achievement in your life anon, it's all down hill from here

>>593339708
Suck a dick

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>>593333333
nice

>>593338269
you must be retarded enough to truly believe that. Tell the judge about this thread and that guy who got septs, only interesting post this whole thread.

>>593333333
Welp so much for your robbery thread OP.

where did you get the gun, OP?

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>>593333333
posting in epic bread