for every joke that makes me blow nose out of my air ill post

This kid on COD said he was going to "ddos me" if i didnt let him get a quickscope killcam on me

File: Video call snapshot 5.png (197KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

197KB, 640x360px

alright thats pretty good lmao

"Do you have a Nether Portal in Minecraft?"
"No"
"me NEITHER"

badum tss

File: Video call snapshot 4.png (245KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

245KB, 640x360px

lol

File: 1403902694895.jpg (93KB, 720x720px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 720x720px

you know how stories keep popping up about kids having sex with their teacher?
my brother had that happen to him... we both go to the same school too...
did i mention we were home schooled?

>whats worse than losing the special Olympics?

>being a retard

File: webcam-toy-photo63.jpg (30KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 800x600px

alright the masturbation cross is pretty good

>>593133288
arguing on the internet is like running in the special Olympics...
because even if you win you're still retarded...


(old one i know)

File: wtf.png (179KB, 1920x1032px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 1920x1032px

funny and gross

File: Video call snapshot 26.png (53KB, 320x180px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 320x180px

lol pretty good

>>593133333
>pents

File: wtf 2.png (185KB, 1920x1032px) Image search: [Google]

185KB, 1920x1032px

>>593133589
i also had no idea what the fuck i was doing with screen shots

>>593133616
So one time i was trying to tell my friend i was dehydrated and i ended up saying i'm water death.

File: megan2.jpg (33KB, 460x379px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 460x379px

more funny jokes pls

>>593132711
>2015 and not blowing nose out of your air

-- How are you?
- Like a sore dick.
-- ?
- I can't be beat.

File: megan5.jpg (11KB, 230x189px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 230x189px

WATER DEATH??!?!?!? WTF IS THAT

>>593132711

A man calls a waiter over and asks him to taste the soup.

The waiter says "Is the soup too cold?"

The man reply "Just taste the soup"

The waiter asks "Is the soup to hot?"

The man replies "Just taste the soup"

The wait says "What's wrong is the soup bad tasting?"

The man shouts "WAITER WILL YOU JUST TASTE THE SOUP!?"

The waiter screams back "ALRIGHT FINE! Where's the spoon?"

The old man smiles .... "Ah ha!"

File: 1419389657904.png (127KB, 482x252px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 482x252px

>>593133835
i have no fucking clue but that day haunts me still.

File: 11253543.gif (196KB, 612x941px) Image search: [Google]

196KB, 612x941px

hfw

What did Jimmy get for his birthday?.......nothing he's been dead for 10 years get over it.

File: megan9.jpg (12KB, 230x189px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 230x189px

lol texting

File: aewuhajiep.png (13KB, 345x424px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 345x424px

>>593133912

File: ronaldraygun.jpg (506KB, 1600x900px) Image search: [Google]

506KB, 1600x900px

>>593133947
Also There is this fat i don't know what he is, but he lacks mental capacity so i fuck with him. So when ever i get the chance i'll tell him i'm going to call the cops on him. for stupid things like sneezing or something. then one time he was playing GTA V i told him to kill someone, he did as told. i then proceeded to scream at him THAT WAS A SIN YOUR GOING TO BURN IN HELL.

File: lololol.jpg (107KB, 902x574px)

107KB, 902x574px

>>593134131

File: 1418849900737.jpg (26KB, 236x396px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 236x396px

>>593132711

File: megan8.jpg (14KB, 230x189px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 230x189px

fucking wall of text

>>593133912
What is this from? It's bugging me

File: megan3.jpg (12KB, 230x189px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 230x189px

WE HAVE LIFTOFF T-NOSTRILS

How are an elephant and an aspirin alike? They're both small, round, and white, except for the elephant.

>>593134581
coming to america

File: 1391419027494.jpg (390KB, 1005x1377px) Image search: [Google]

390KB, 1005x1377px

>>593132711

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSaUOEGYOVU

how long does it take a nigger to take a shit?

>9 months

>>593133912
Nevermind, it's Coming to America

You wanna joke? Try auditing a Women's and Genders Studies class.

File: megan10.jpg (25KB, 361x383px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 361x383px

rawwwwww

File: Jean-Claude Van Damme.jpg (119KB, 500x691px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 500x691px

>Be me
>Be a giant asshole
>Pretty much zero frends
>New kid moves moves in partway through semester
>Jewish kid named Travis
>Decide I'm gonna be nice and make a friend for once
>We start talking and hanging out
>Pretty cool dude likes same stuff I do (skateboarding, video games, etc)
>We go to the skate park a lot
>Jewish jokes spew from my mouth in an endless stream
>Travis doesn't care and tells some too
>Best_Friends.jpg
>2 months later
>Find out he's having his Bar Mitzvah
>Apparantly his parents made him wait for his or some shit
>I get invited
>Ends up being boring as hell
>Didn't even do the chair dance
>Pissed as fuck
>After it's all over, he introduces me to the Rabbi
>Some 30 year-old washout pretending he's cool
>Never learn his name
>Apparantly Travis and the Rabbi are butt-buddies
>Find out Rabbi likes to skateboard too
>Holy shit this guy is pathetic
>Travis says the 3 of us should all go to the skate park
>"Why the fuck not?"
>Go to skate park with an adult wearing 80's gym clothes
>Brags about how he can do all these fantastic skating tricks
>Embarrased and pissed as fuck
>We climb up the side of a big-ass half-pipe
>Rabbi makes us watch him do shitty skate tricks
>He can't even pull off a decent kickflip
>Travis goes to the other side
>Rabbi shouts from the edge
>"Check out this trick, Anon!"
>Still pissed as fuck, old fag basically taunting me
>Stomp the back of his board right as he takes off
>He fucks up and falls on his neck. Passes out
>Travis calls an ambulance
>Makes me ride with the Rabbi while he runs home
>Stuck alone in the back of an ambulance with a half-dead holy man
>Pissed as fuck
>The guy suddenly opens his eyes
>Stares at me in horror
>He knows I did it
>I smile and lean in closer
>Blow nose out of my air
>Whisper into his ear
>"Silly Rabbi, tricks are for kids!"

>>593132711
How do you starve a nigger?
You hide his welfare check in his work boots

File: 9800_872844462737424_6663403018799916082_n.jpg (79KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 540x960px

OP is this you?

File: megan6.jpg (14KB, 230x189px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 230x189px

that fucking gweentext

File: jews.jpg (356KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

356KB, 1920x1080px

>>593134581
One MORE thing. As habit i respond to annoying people by yelling profanity at them (under age fag so you get the story) i was walking by my teacher in class and she puts her hand on my should thinking im going to stop as i keep walking and just fucking " GET YOUR SHIT STAINED CLAWS OFF OF ME" i got sent to the office and was suspended for two weeks
>my thoughts when i got suspended

File: megan4.jpg (12KB, 230x189px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 230x189px

no thats the newfag lololol

>>593135412
dayumm mang it's all good

>>593135412
if it's any consolation he looks like a fag

File: .......1232133213123.png (125KB, 206x351px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 206x351px

this is me

>>593135058
that's him, I worked with him and his ex

File: 1420111009155.jpg (92KB, 599x601px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 599x601px

>>593135991
Damn i cant even cut my veggies like that.

>>593136440

shades on like 'strip bitch'

File: arnold.jpg (31KB, 540x312px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 540x312px

>>593137107
get on my level

>>593132711
>blow nose out of my air