for every joke that makes me blow nose out of my air ill post another pic of my ex gf.
you know how stories keep popping up about kids having sex with their teacher?
my brother had that happen to him... we both go to the same school too...
did i mention we were home schooled?
alright the masturbation cross is pretty good
i also had no idea what the fuck i was doing with screen shots
A man calls a waiter over and asks him to taste the soup.
The waiter says "Is the soup too cold?"
The man reply "Just taste the soup"
The waiter asks "Is the soup to hot?"
The man replies "Just taste the soup"
The wait says "What's wrong is the soup bad tasting?"
The man shouts "WAITER WILL YOU JUST TASTE THE SOUP!?"
The waiter screams back "ALRIGHT FINE! Where's the spoon?"
The old man smiles .... "Ah ha!"
i have no fucking clue but that day haunts me still.
Also There is this fat i don't know what he is, but he lacks mental capacity so i fuck with him. So when ever i get the chance i'll tell him i'm going to call the cops on him. for stupid things like sneezing or something. then one time he was playing GTA V i told him to kill someone, he did as told. i then proceeded to scream at him THAT WAS A SIN YOUR GOING TO BURN IN HELL.
>Be a giant asshole
>Pretty much zero frends
>New kid moves moves in partway through semester
>Jewish kid named Travis
>Decide I'm gonna be nice and make a friend for once
>We start talking and hanging out
>Pretty cool dude likes same stuff I do (skateboarding, video games, etc)
>We go to the skate park a lot
>Jewish jokes spew from my mouth in an endless stream
>Travis doesn't care and tells some too
>2 months later
>Find out he's having his Bar Mitzvah
>Apparantly his parents made him wait for his or some shit
>I get invited
>Ends up being boring as hell
>Didn't even do the chair dance
>Pissed as fuck
>After it's all over, he introduces me to the Rabbi
>Some 30 year-old washout pretending he's cool
>Never learn his name
>Apparantly Travis and the Rabbi are butt-buddies
>Find out Rabbi likes to skateboard too
>Holy shit this guy is pathetic
>Travis says the 3 of us should all go to the skate park
>"Why the fuck not?"
>Go to skate park with an adult wearing 80's gym clothes
>Brags about how he can do all these fantastic skating tricks
>Embarrased and pissed as fuck
>We climb up the side of a big-ass half-pipe
>Rabbi makes us watch him do shitty skate tricks
>He can't even pull off a decent kickflip
>Travis goes to the other side
>Rabbi shouts from the edge
>"Check out this trick, Anon!"
>Still pissed as fuck, old fag basically taunting me
>Stomp the back of his board right as he takes off
>He fucks up and falls on his neck. Passes out
>Travis calls an ambulance
>Makes me ride with the Rabbi while he runs home
>Stuck alone in the back of an ambulance with a half-dead holy man
>Pissed as fuck
>The guy suddenly opens his eyes
>Stares at me in horror
>He knows I did it
>I smile and lean in closer
>Blow nose out of my air
>Whisper into his ear
>"Silly Rabbi, tricks are for kids!"
One MORE thing. As habit i respond to annoying people by yelling profanity at them (under age fag so you get the story) i was walking by my teacher in class and she puts her hand on my should thinking im going to stop as i keep walking and just fucking " GET YOUR SHIT STAINED CLAWS OFF OF ME" i got sent to the office and was suspended for two weeks
>my thoughts when i got suspended
Damn i cant even cut my veggies like that.