What's the beat strategy for getting laid on tinder, I really

best photos of your self, tinder auto match ... weed out the hogs, sluts will be every where, enjoy your self

>>592607575
Every match I've gotten so far has been spam or doesn't reply, any advice?

Talk to the girls you're matched with. Be yourself. Get their numbers. Ask to hang out. Have a couple drinks with them. Bang.

>>592608018
How long have you been using it? Spam accounts happen but there's definitely plenty of real girls...

roll thread on /b/ always works ;)

>>592608101
Maybe a week, I just got out of a three year relationship and my dad always told me the best way to get over a woman is to get on top of another

>>592609092
Dad is cool. 9/10 would son with

>>592609092
I cannot fully agree with that. I got out of a three year relationship a year and a half ago. Fucked one bitch six months later. Fucked another six months after that and she got pregnant. Now in the last month I've slept with three didifferent girls (from tinder) to try and forget that I'm about to be a father.. and uhhh... yeah. Don't worry about the spam. Just take the time to keep trying it out if you really think it'll work for your empty heart.

Always open up with a pun or a bad joke. I've met up with at least 3 girls do that, on top of plenty of other opportunities. Seriously. I don't know what it is, Tinder bitches just love puns and corny jokes.

>>592609457
Thats a fact

>>592609449
That's because you're fucking them at six month intervals. You need to at the very least every 6 weeks, but sometimes it's got to be every week.

>>592609457
what type of jokes ?

>>592609092
9.4/10 would let be my dad

Here is a complete list of qualities you need to get laid:

1. Be handsome

>>592609457
Any suggestions? The pnly corny jokes I know are the ones everyone has heard since elemntary school, same with pick-up lines, I've been out of the game for three years I'm a little rusty

>>592609734
I don't know, just really, really dorky ones. Like, one I've used on at least 5 women (all of whom responded) was like, "Knock knock; who's there; my name is; my name is who?; dikidiki Slim Shady." Pretty dumb, I know. But you're guaranteed a response just by saying knock knock. 85% of the time, they'll ask who's there.

Also puns. Like, "I bit into an old sausage and thought, 'This is the wurst.'"

Corny song lyrics get them too. My problem is, most girls in my area use Tinder as a dating app, not a hookup ap, so I'm more liable to get a date than a fuck.

>>592610124
See >>592610385

I fucked two girls in a month from tinder.
An 6/10 and a 7/10.
Dont be shematic, build up your profile well.

+447545305068 call me

I've noticed that like 95% of the girls in my area think tinder is a legit dating site, and most of them have kids and septum piercings.

>>592610022
also don't not be handsome

>>592610599
>>592610599
Nice try, pal. That's two digits too long. Unless you're a Britbong.

What's with the signing in with Facebook bullshit on this app? Do you really have to do dis

1. Don't post pics with your fedora on.
2. In your bio, don't mention the words euphoric or My Little Pony.
3. In your bio, do mention that you are Atheist.
4. Do not belittle the girls you talk to by expressing your superior intellect.
5. Don't be so self-reflexive about gentlemanly ways.
6. Shave.
7. Get a job.
8. Move out of your parents.
9. Get a car.

>>592611284
Yeah and you can only upload facebook pics

>>592611377
You, I like you

10. And also, be a man, not a manchild

>>592611377
OP here, none of your list applies to me.
Maybe you should stop being such a faggot

>>592611377
What are good things to open with? I find girls NEVER message me first.

>>592610599

His Facebook
/james.dupey

>>592611679
This post

is 0/1000 compared to

>>592611377

>>592611940
Holy shit, just realised what his cover photo was....

Also, be atleased 18 years old and have a life

>>592611679
You're right OP, let me give you some closer to home:

10 Don't talk about sex right off the bat
11. Don't "neg" her
12. Don't show her your penis unless she asks
13. Don't ask for nudes two minutes in
14. Don't mention your ex-girlfriend. Ever.
15. Don't be all macho to compensate for your beta-ness

That last one kind of covers a lot. More?

>>592611377
Also, never ask for sex directly. Never.
Just chat about whatever- as long as you're chatting and she feels comfortable with you, you're doing fine.
After like a week (or whatever, when it feels right) you ask whether she'd like to go out for a drink some time, or if she'd like to come over for dinner (the drinks is safer since she'll probably be kinda hesitant to visit you at your home on a first date).

The thing is, most guys think that getting a girl dtf is all about making her think you want to. It's not.
She knows you want to- you're a guy. The trick is in getting her to think that she wants to.
Just be cool, as long as you're still in contact, she's still considering it. Don't rush it.

>>592610124
>>592611777
Man, it feels kinda wrong to let my favourite go public, but alright:
>If you could throw a dessert at the most hateful person you know, what would it be?
> <dessertname>
>So, when can I offer you a <dessertname>?

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>>592606966
Pic related came straight from tinder same day. Its pretty easy. What do you want to know exactly?

>>592611777
See
>>592609457
Can't guarantee you'll meet them, but they'll always respond. And I know that feel, the only girls thst message me first are the average-looking, desperate ones.

>>592612333
This anon is probably pretending to be a woman swapping pics with another hairy neckbeard pretending to be a woman.

>>592612299
ayy lmao
does that one work? also how old are the girls this works on?

>>592612299
Thanks bro, saved and appreciated

>>592612299
That's kinda risky man. I mean, I'm a guy, but sure as hell think that's a corny pickup line.
As a matter of fact, I think all pickup lines are kinda lame.

I usually just open with "heya!" and see where things go from there.
What works is to ask questions. Girls love nothing more than themselves.

>>592612287
This depends per girl and intention. Sometimes just mentioning sex (very cleverly and briefly) in the first few messages will help, but it's hard to tell which girls would be into that. And waiting a week for those type of girls, they'll lose interest within two days.

>>592612299
This will work with fat 14 year old autistic girls because only they know crème brûle and they would love to get some attention.

Also, dubbeldubs checked

>>592612402
I have been messaging my matches first but I'm realizing "hey, how's it going?" doesn't work

My go-to tinder open is as follows:

"Hey qt(insert cake emoji here)"

Let 30 seconds or so go by

"...wait that might be cake"

Bitches fucking LOVE it. You can work in the "eat it either way" aspect in the next few if you really want to go hard.

>>592612472
Are you sure about that?

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>>592609092
no.1 dad!

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>>592612472
Oh really? I dont think so faggot.

Right all of you autistic cunts, here's how to tinder:

1. Be good looking, use good photos of yourself (A good mix of photos, first should be a clear shot of your face, then some others maybe a group one to show you have friends and another out having a drink or something)
2. Keep your bio simple. No cringey shit, vital statistics. Maybe a witty pun, but nothing too autistic.
3. LIKE EVERY SINGLE PERSON.
4. Let the matches roll in, if you get anyone below a 6, unmatch them.
5. Tailor your opening line based on the person, no "hey" or "hey how are you" thats fucking boring. Comment on something they wrote in their bio or if they have a holiday picture be like "is that croatia in your pic? I went there last year its was cool". If they are a bit younger they usually love a shitty pun chat up line "Are you a beaver? Cos dammm!" worked the best for me.
6. When they reply dont wait ages to reply back because "you dont want to look to keen" leave a few minutes, the conversation will flow better.
7. Get their number off them ASAP, the sooner you get them off tinder the better.
8. Ask them out for a drink or something ASAP. If you start messaging on thursday or something ask them out for a drink on the saturday.
9. Go on the date, dont be an autistic beta cunt, man up and have a decent conversation with them
10. If they are a slut nail them on the first date, if they are a respectable broad get to know them go on a couple more dates then nail them

Be attractive?

If you're not attractive, then online dating is a numbers game. The online dating game is all about your face and looks. If you don't have that.. well.. sucks to be you, you're going to be spamming women until you catch one.

>>592612402
>not in an english speaking country
my language is really bad for puns

>>592612797
Yeah I wrote that and I do agree with you.
I don't know man. The best thing about hitting on a girl is just being able to read into her actions, words, whatever.
It's all just experience man. And every girl is different. I've had some girls on Tinder that were pretty obviously dtf within the first hour of chatting, and girls I'd been working on for weeks without result.

There's no one true advice for picking up women, other than this:
Just fucking do it. Fail as many times as you like, and keep fucking trying. You get better at it every time.

>>592613030
Forgot to mention:
TINDER IS A NUMBERS GAME

You will get rejected loads, dont let it put you off. Just move onto the next girl. If you get a date with only 1 out of 10 girls you try it with thats a win.

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>>592613013
M-mom...?

>>592613013
That's so cool. You are such a cool guy.
Also, this proves nothing, you moron.

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Sharing the best strategy.
Also, Dutch, that's why the paki language.

>>592612668
risky? it's fucking tinder.

>>592613013
>Implying she doesn't have a penis

>>592612333
>>592613013
Teach me your ways. And moar please.

>>592612924
i can't imagine that i would have used the word "probably" if i was.

>>592613183
>>592613117

These guys get it.
The only real way to learn is to try and fail.
Stop being a bitch and take some fucking risks.

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>>592613208
thought the exact same thing

How do I hide my passion for My Little Pony if it's such an integral part of my life? Like they're gonna notice my Pinkie Pie patch on my trench coat once I finally get a match...

>>592613013
looking at some old pic. i have thousands on my computer and can claim the same thing.

>>592613314
Yeah but I'm saying it's boring man. It's not that good a joke.

>>592613222
Eh i'll bite. What proof do your require?

Do you need the tinder convo? How about the webms of her playing with her pussy? Countless pics she has sent me?
maybe the timestamp with /b on her ass. How about that?

>>592613261
Wtf am I looking at?

>>592613544
time to dump.

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>>592610385
>more liable to get a date than a fuck

Maybe that's because you're tossing around pre-pubescent puns and admittedly corny jokes?

>>592613564
How to get laid on tinder 101.

>>592613183
Exactly. 1 in 10 is better than nothing, you're to get even that.

I met up with only 3, exculding my missed opportunities. One that I fucked a few times, one that was a psycho bitch that fell for me as soon as I messaged her, and one is now my girlfriend.

>>592613544
Her facebook account

>>592613261
thats retarded. are you 14?

>>592613544
Fuck man I don't need anything. All I'm saying is that the whole fucking point of 4chan is the anonymity.
I honestly believe you, but I simply don't care. Go be the tough guy somewhere else man, stop trying to impress people you don't know over the internet.
You are really making yourself look like an idiot who literally NEEDS to have people look up to him.
Sounds like a low self-esteem to me, mate.

>>592613646
Just saying za? I haven't had to pick up a girl in 3 years but that is just retarded

>>592613747
>taking retard bait
kek

>>592613489
not sure if serious or not.. either way fucking knock it off

>>592613806
yeah and needing other anonymous people to look up to him is even sadder.

>>592613727
good job man.

>>592613489
I'm trying so hard not to fall for this bait

>>592612917
Underrated toast right here

>>592613489
The same way recovering meth addicts hide their passion for meth. You've got to quit MLP. It's ruining your life and you know it. If you end up being with supposed girl from Tinder longer than 4-6 months, tell her of your past struggles with ponies, and she will forgive you.

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Every Woman who has responded well to me started by me using the line "Are you a Beaver? Because DAMN!" followed later by simply saying she looks stunning etc.

When I ask what her interests are, and she just replies "drinking lol!". Then I unmatch there and then. 90% of my matches are boring as shit and I don't have a fucking clue what to talk about.

>>592613544
Hahahaha who are you trying to impress man.

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>>592614164

>>592613646
>autism speaks

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>>592606966
>mfw I've fucked four different girls from tinder

feels good man

one was kinda chubby but she let me fuck her in the ass, so whatever

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>>592613735
kek. yea right faggot

>>592613806
wow it sounds like you are avoiding looking like an idiot. if you really felt this way, tits and timestamp would not exist therefore you are full of shit and cant deliver any proof of you being anything other than a basement dweller.

I simply wanted to offer advice to the gentleman when you offended my authenticity. I do not take kindly to that. and there is a /b timestamp because i already made a tinder wins thread.

Checkmate you disgusting fat faggot.

and stop samefagging.

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>>592612917
This is how you get laid.

>>592614208
He tries to impress anonymous people with fake pictures, god I can't wait to get to work

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>>592614333
>another one taking bait

>>592614270
Nice try, faggot, that's clearly 1080i.

>>592614189
Can confirm, also my opening line

>>592614417
>>592614208
>>592613806
>>592613343
samfagging

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>>592606966

there's not a formula or something like that. be funny (in an intelligent way), be interesting, be exited about things, post pictures you look happy on and have fun on.
nobody can tell you what to write a girl, it depends on the situation, on the pictures she posted etc.

>>592614382
Lol, not the guy you are responding to but you're retarded.

>>592614571
There are at least two of us, probably more.

>>592606966
be handsome
be charming
have game
be sincere, or at least seem to
have a good profile text
have an eyecatching first photo

>>592612917
>>592614391
Samefag.

My problem is I'll get matches, and they'll never respond. Corny jones or otherwise.

The only matches I have gotten happened at the moment I was going out of town and they were just visiting.

Fuck.

>>592614382
Rekt.

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>>592614507
>implying anyone cares

>>592614665
Only matches where they responded*

>>592614664
>>592614571
samefag

>>592614626
I am ...4417
Also, cya, off to watching Japanese eyeball licking porn

>>592614571
agree, why is he so butthurt, let OP have his grill

>>592614391
>>592614110

Thanks /b/ros. I've actually never shared it with anyone before. Upside is that very few other dudes are using the same lines which is an immediate leg up on the competition.

Only one weird tinder experience so far - she bit my neck out of the blue on our first (and only) date. In the middle of the sidewalk on 1st ave.

>>592614772
ok, thanks for the .... heads up.

Met my GF on Tinder, it's not rocket science.
1. Use good pictures - they should convey value. In a suit / well dressed, socialising with friends, on holiday or doing something interesting is good, in fedora is bad.
2. Interests are good in profile as long as they're not LAN parties, MLP etc. Be interesting and funny.
3. Swipe right on everybody. You can unmatch anyone you don't like later.
4. If you get a match while swiping, talk to them immediately.
5. Don't be overly sexual. Don't be beta. Crappy jokes / puns are good, a fun opening line that has something to do with their profile is better.
6. Talk for a bit. Don't take it too seriously. Have fun with her, gentle teasing is good but don't be mean. Have the mindset that if they don't play along, you don't want to meet them anyway and there are plenty of other people (true on Tinder)
7. After talking for a while (couple of hours to a day depending on message frequency), ask on date. Nothing heavy. Drinks / comedy is good.
8. If yes, go on date. Don't be beta.
9. ???
10. Profit

>>592614382
What did you do to get her so quickly? Also explain what pics you used and your message plz.

>>592614189
Fucking idiot, if you aren't looking to get laid, you say you're going to buy them one of those drinks. You meet at a bar, you take her home, you fuck her brains out, she leaves the next morning. Rinse and repeat.

I am always sarcastic. Don't pussy foot around either. I've had a girl offer to blow me and I said only if she calls me mein fuhrer. She said okay. I told her I would keep her in my attic and fuck her like anne frank when the nazis aren't around. She said whatever I wanted babe. I've been with a few girls from Tinder, it's good but most of the good girls out there aren't on tinder.
Just be funny, don't hold back on what you say and you should have success.

>>592614580
this guy, actually replying instead of being butthurt about qt redhead

>>592612299
Am I retarded? I don't get it.

>>592612198
Yeah go ahead, this is some good shit

>>592612797
>>592612287
>>592613117
all this, /thread

>>592614382
Tits and timestamp exist for women, you idiot. Because the crave attention. You yourself are no different.
You did not want to offer any advice, you just wanted to show off how cool you are, and how many pussies you've had and what not.
And don't get me wrong, again, I honestly, truly believe you. You could be drowning in pussy for all I care. I don't even know you.
So, I wonder, why are you so eager to show off?
What drives you to think that people don't believe you when you say you fuck lots of girls?

Honestly man, why are you so hellbent on convincing us of your achievements? We've never met, we never will, and this is probably the only fucking time in the history of literally everything that we'll be in contact.

So instead of showing off, how about you actually do something altruistic for a change?

>>592614715
>Implying images can be interlaced unless .png
>Implying you aren't taking the bait

>>592614665
That's because you're ugly. Your hopeless, anon.

>>592614971
cutie pie

mistaking the cake emoji for a pie

>>592614878

>immediately beta'ing out by offering to buy them stuff

I'm looking for friends with benefits. Not a blind fuck, I'd rather just fap.

>>592606966
i've found being goofy works alot better than trying a regular conversation and if the girls don't respond i use hall and oates lyrics to mess with them and by god it works women are strange

>>592615228
Funnily enough, I met a girl at the bar who actually paid for all of my drinks.

>>592614878
sounds like a strat, that other guy is retarded

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>>592614857
No problem. The neckbeards have been put away.


Depends on if you want a relationship or just to fuck or both

First off. never make just one account especially if the goal is to fuck. This is a numbers game. If you are serious then make 2. one for fucking and one for relationships or hang outs that take more time to develop sexually.

I Had one face pic in on my profile and the rest were just bodyshots. I literally said in my message

"Dom looking for curious young sub"

and I put "modern day christian grey"

This tells them a number of things. Im not really looking for a relationship and i am into BDSM which most girls relate to the 50 shades of grey crap so thats how i make the connection. They become "curious".

Then you can have a regular profile to play the field for a relationship. Most anons here have that down pretty good. But for just fucking, you can be obvious without being obvious. You will find the girls who are interested and they will bite. Everytime.

Greatest opener for me has been

>"Okay, I don't know whether to start with "hi" or "wow" - 'cause <insert something flattering about her appearance and/or text>"

Every single girl I've written this to has responded positively.

another one is: "I'm usually not one to write people on here, but with you I literally could not find a reason not to try my luck. Your smile is breathtaking!"

>>592615580
This is actually not half bad.

>>592606966
THIS IS IMPORTANT OP!
>If you get a match at 2 in the morning, then straight up ask her if she's looking to hook up. I've gotten some late night pussy that way a few times. Literally, I got a notification at 2AM, sent them a message saying, "Are you looking to hook up?" and then she replied back with "come pick me up"

>>592615663
It's beyond brilliant

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>>592614580
>>592614848
>good advice on /b/
mfw

>>592615580
Holy shit, either you're handsome as fuck or every girl in your area is fucking retarded as shit.

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>>592615511

>hurr that guy is retarded
>gets results

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>>592615065
>but then we can't be butthurt about that anon that actually delivered and posted pics of a chick

>>592615580

I'm the "qtcake" guy. Opening with a fucking compliment is lame as fuck. She gets compliments from every single dude on tinder, you have to differentiate yourself.

>>592615580
This is gay as fuck

>>592615217
what? I still don't follow, you don't make sense.

>>592606966
i always open with this:
sometimes when im alone, i lay naked on the floor and pretend to be a pube

THen she replies with either 'lol wtf' to which you could say 'just helps pass the time while i wait for the perfect tinder match, and here you are!'
or she would say 'oh my god same!' She is obviously joking but form here the conversation is a lot more amusing

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>>592615125
>be me
>not understanding what you guys are talking about
>just posting pics of fish
fight me

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>>592615718
She must have been a landwhale.

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>>592613030
>>592614848

These are obviously the best pieces of advice ITT
problem is they rely on things like
>be good looking
>have friends to socialize with in pics
>know how to chat up a woman
>know how to go on a date with a woman
>don't be beta

This disqualifies the advice

When /b/tards make these threads, what they're asking is
>how do i get laid DESPITE being an average-to-unattractive friendless awkward nervous asocial beta no life who can't keep a conversation going for 5 minutes with a female stranger and would develop PTSD from going on a real life date?

To which the only real answer might be: viagra and a whore

You can't give a person like that advice that depends on them first radically transforming their personality

You can't treat them like they're YOU

>>592608994
this

and post results

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I have HPV because of Tinder.

>>592615527
I never thought of making 2 accounts. That seems pretty lucrative. But what if they expect me to be dominant and im not that good at doing it or saying dominant stuff? And how do i start the convo to lead into sex since thats wha they matched me for?

>>592615893
Anon isn't talking about Sand or the Mojave, rather cake, pies and etc. If that's the "Dessert" you're probably confused with at least.

>>592614812
You might be a vampire now

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>>592615968
10/10

>>592615898
also, my bio goes something like:
if your idea of a perfect day involves curling up on the couch with a good movie/tv show/video game or book along with your favorite cereal and copious amounts of chicken nuggets, its time we had a talk'
i get replies asking on preferred cereal and also replies on a mutual appreciation for chicken nuggets. In any case, these two together can make for some easy to start conversation.

>>592607575
How do you auto-match?

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>>592615817
I'm handsome as fuck, and very photogenic on top of that.

>>592615867
I have a couple of ridiculous photos, that make me stand out. Pic related is the first thing they see of me.

>>592615879
At least I get wimmenz, breh

>>592616045
guy in pic could probably get laid in an instant for looking like a fat David Tennant.

>>592616381
Third party app bruh

>>592615807
>inb4 nigger faggot hurrdurr america-europe wars

>>592616381
its a 3rd party app that can be downloaded online, for a small fee i think?

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>>592616440
>Superman
Metropolis hometown, represent.

>>592616045
/thread

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>>592615527
Hmmm this is a pretty interesting concept.

>>592616543
can you recommend a good app?

watch and learn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egqpE4QaSjk

>>592615893
anon
anon
anon
pls
don't be such a dumb

>>592616867
not him or do i use it but guessing writing tinder in play store will give you the result

>>592616801
mah nigga

>>592616440
I hate you and I wanna hang out with you.

>>592616867
on iOS "tools for tinder"

>>592616018
Fat pussy is still better than no pussy