>>592609092 I cannot fully agree with that. I got out of a three year relationship a year and a half ago. Fucked one bitch six months later. Fucked another six months after that and she got pregnant. Now in the last month I've slept with three didifferent girls (from tinder) to try and forget that I'm about to be a father.. and uhhh... yeah. Don't worry about the spam. Just take the time to keep trying it out if you really think it'll work for your empty heart.
Always open up with a pun or a bad joke. I've met up with at least 3 girls do that, on top of plenty of other opportunities. Seriously. I don't know what it is, Tinder bitches just love puns and corny jokes.
>>592609734 I don't know, just really, really dorky ones. Like, one I've used on at least 5 women (all of whom responded) was like, "Knock knock; who's there; my name is; my name is who?; dikidiki Slim Shady." Pretty dumb, I know. But you're guaranteed a response just by saying knock knock. 85% of the time, they'll ask who's there.
Also puns. Like, "I bit into an old sausage and thought, 'This is the wurst.'"
Corny song lyrics get them too. My problem is, most girls in my area use Tinder as a dating app, not a hookup ap, so I'm more liable to get a date than a fuck.
1. Don't post pics with your fedora on. 2. In your bio, don't mention the words euphoric or My Little Pony. 3. In your bio, do mention that you are Atheist. 4. Do not belittle the girls you talk to by expressing your superior intellect. 5. Don't be so self-reflexive about gentlemanly ways. 6. Shave. 7. Get a job. 8. Move out of your parents. 9. Get a car.
>>592611679 You're right OP, let me give you some closer to home:
10 Don't talk about sex right off the bat 11. Don't "neg" her 12. Don't show her your penis unless she asks 13. Don't ask for nudes two minutes in 14. Don't mention your ex-girlfriend. Ever. 15. Don't be all macho to compensate for your beta-ness
>>592611377 Also, never ask for sex directly. Never. Just chat about whatever- as long as you're chatting and she feels comfortable with you, you're doing fine. After like a week (or whatever, when it feels right) you ask whether she'd like to go out for a drink some time, or if she'd like to come over for dinner (the drinks is safer since she'll probably be kinda hesitant to visit you at your home on a first date).
The thing is, most guys think that getting a girl dtf is all about making her think you want to. It's not. She knows you want to- you're a guy. The trick is in getting her to think that she wants to. Just be cool, as long as you're still in contact, she's still considering it. Don't rush it.
>>592610124 >>592611777 Man, it feels kinda wrong to let my favourite go public, but alright: >If you could throw a dessert at the most hateful person you know, what would it be? > <dessertname> >So, when can I offer you a <dessertname>?
>>592612287 This depends per girl and intention. Sometimes just mentioning sex (very cleverly and briefly) in the first few messages will help, but it's hard to tell which girls would be into that. And waiting a week for those type of girls, they'll lose interest within two days.
Right all of you autistic cunts, here's how to tinder:
1. Be good looking, use good photos of yourself (A good mix of photos, first should be a clear shot of your face, then some others maybe a group one to show you have friends and another out having a drink or something) 2. Keep your bio simple. No cringey shit, vital statistics. Maybe a witty pun, but nothing too autistic. 3. LIKE EVERY SINGLE PERSON. 4. Let the matches roll in, if you get anyone below a 6, unmatch them. 5. Tailor your opening line based on the person, no "hey" or "hey how are you" thats fucking boring. Comment on something they wrote in their bio or if they have a holiday picture be like "is that croatia in your pic? I went there last year its was cool". If they are a bit younger they usually love a shitty pun chat up line "Are you a beaver? Cos dammm!" worked the best for me. 6. When they reply dont wait ages to reply back because "you dont want to look to keen" leave a few minutes, the conversation will flow better. 7. Get their number off them ASAP, the sooner you get them off tinder the better. 8. Ask them out for a drink or something ASAP. If you start messaging on thursday or something ask them out for a drink on the saturday. 9. Go on the date, dont be an autistic beta cunt, man up and have a decent conversation with them 10. If they are a slut nail them on the first date, if they are a respectable broad get to know them go on a couple more dates then nail them
If you're not attractive, then online dating is a numbers game. The online dating game is all about your face and looks. If you don't have that.. well.. sucks to be you, you're going to be spamming women until you catch one.
>>592612797 Yeah I wrote that and I do agree with you. I don't know man. The best thing about hitting on a girl is just being able to read into her actions, words, whatever. It's all just experience man. And every girl is different. I've had some girls on Tinder that were pretty obviously dtf within the first hour of chatting, and girls I'd been working on for weeks without result.
There's no one true advice for picking up women, other than this: Just fucking do it. Fail as many times as you like, and keep fucking trying. You get better at it every time.
>>592613544 Fuck man I don't need anything. All I'm saying is that the whole fucking point of 4chan is the anonymity. I honestly believe you, but I simply don't care. Go be the tough guy somewhere else man, stop trying to impress people you don't know over the internet. You are really making yourself look like an idiot who literally NEEDS to have people look up to him. Sounds like a low self-esteem to me, mate.
>>592613489 The same way recovering meth addicts hide their passion for meth. You've got to quit MLP. It's ruining your life and you know it. If you end up being with supposed girl from Tinder longer than 4-6 months, tell her of your past struggles with ponies, and she will forgive you.
>>592613806 wow it sounds like you are avoiding looking like an idiot. if you really felt this way, tits and timestamp would not exist therefore you are full of shit and cant deliver any proof of you being anything other than a basement dweller.
I simply wanted to offer advice to the gentleman when you offended my authenticity. I do not take kindly to that. and there is a /b timestamp because i already made a tinder wins thread.
there's not a formula or something like that. be funny (in an intelligent way), be interesting, be exited about things, post pictures you look happy on and have fun on. nobody can tell you what to write a girl, it depends on the situation, on the pictures she posted etc.
Met my GF on Tinder, it's not rocket science. 1. Use good pictures - they should convey value. In a suit / well dressed, socialising with friends, on holiday or doing something interesting is good, in fedora is bad. 2. Interests are good in profile as long as they're not LAN parties, MLP etc. Be interesting and funny. 3. Swipe right on everybody. You can unmatch anyone you don't like later. 4. If you get a match while swiping, talk to them immediately. 5. Don't be overly sexual. Don't be beta. Crappy jokes / puns are good, a fun opening line that has something to do with their profile is better. 6. Talk for a bit. Don't take it too seriously. Have fun with her, gentle teasing is good but don't be mean. Have the mindset that if they don't play along, you don't want to meet them anyway and there are plenty of other people (true on Tinder) 7. After talking for a while (couple of hours to a day depending on message frequency), ask on date. Nothing heavy. Drinks / comedy is good. 8. If yes, go on date. Don't be beta. 9. ??? 10. Profit
>>592614189 Fucking idiot, if you aren't looking to get laid, you say you're going to buy them one of those drinks. You meet at a bar, you take her home, you fuck her brains out, she leaves the next morning. Rinse and repeat.
I am always sarcastic. Don't pussy foot around either. I've had a girl offer to blow me and I said only if she calls me mein fuhrer. She said okay. I told her I would keep her in my attic and fuck her like anne frank when the nazis aren't around. She said whatever I wanted babe. I've been with a few girls from Tinder, it's good but most of the good girls out there aren't on tinder. Just be funny, don't hold back on what you say and you should have success.
>>592614382 Tits and timestamp exist for women, you idiot. Because the crave attention. You yourself are no different. You did not want to offer any advice, you just wanted to show off how cool you are, and how many pussies you've had and what not. And don't get me wrong, again, I honestly, truly believe you. You could be drowning in pussy for all I care. I don't even know you. So, I wonder, why are you so eager to show off? What drives you to think that people don't believe you when you say you fuck lots of girls?
Honestly man, why are you so hellbent on convincing us of your achievements? We've never met, we never will, and this is probably the only fucking time in the history of literally everything that we'll be in contact.
So instead of showing off, how about you actually do something altruistic for a change?
>>592606966 i've found being goofy works alot better than trying a regular conversation and if the girls don't respond i use hall and oates lyrics to mess with them and by god it works women are strange
>>592614857 No problem. The neckbeards have been put away.
Depends on if you want a relationship or just to fuck or both
First off. never make just one account especially if the goal is to fuck. This is a numbers game. If you are serious then make 2. one for fucking and one for relationships or hang outs that take more time to develop sexually.
I Had one face pic in on my profile and the rest were just bodyshots. I literally said in my message
"Dom looking for curious young sub"
and I put "modern day christian grey"
This tells them a number of things. Im not really looking for a relationship and i am into BDSM which most girls relate to the 50 shades of grey crap so thats how i make the connection. They become "curious".
Then you can have a regular profile to play the field for a relationship. Most anons here have that down pretty good. But for just fucking, you can be obvious without being obvious. You will find the girls who are interested and they will bite. Everytime.
>>592606966 THIS IS IMPORTANT OP! >If you get a match at 2 in the morning, then straight up ask her if she's looking to hook up. I've gotten some late night pussy that way a few times. Literally, I got a notification at 2AM, sent them a message saying, "Are you looking to hook up?" and then she replied back with "come pick me up"
>>592606966 i always open with this: sometimes when im alone, i lay naked on the floor and pretend to be a pube
THen she replies with either 'lol wtf' to which you could say 'just helps pass the time while i wait for the perfect tinder match, and here you are!' or she would say 'oh my god same!' She is obviously joking but form here the conversation is a lot more amusing
These are obviously the best pieces of advice ITT problem is they rely on things like >be good looking >have friends to socialize with in pics >know how to chat up a woman >know how to go on a date with a woman >don't be beta
This disqualifies the advice
When /b/tards make these threads, what they're asking is >how do i get laid DESPITE being an average-to-unattractive friendless awkward nervous asocial beta no life who can't keep a conversation going for 5 minutes with a female stranger and would develop PTSD from going on a real life date?
To which the only real answer might be: viagra and a whore
You can't give a person like that advice that depends on them first radically transforming their personality
>>592615527 I never thought of making 2 accounts. That seems pretty lucrative. But what if they expect me to be dominant and im not that good at doing it or saying dominant stuff? And how do i start the convo to lead into sex since thats wha they matched me for?
>>592615898 also, my bio goes something like: if your idea of a perfect day involves curling up on the couch with a good movie/tv show/video game or book along with your favorite cereal and copious amounts of chicken nuggets, its time we had a talk' i get replies asking on preferred cereal and also replies on a mutual appreciation for chicken nuggets. In any case, these two together can make for some easy to start conversation.
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