I don't think it's fucked up but that's because I come here very day. to any normal person they'd say it's beyond fucked up.
I got this chick pregnant in high school when she was cheating on her boyfriend. Her parents are insanely catholic and so were her boyfriends parents so they had to get married senior year of highschool and keep the child. this ruined both of their futures and they both don't know it's my kid.
when I was 8 I accidentaly hit a kid in the head with a brick (we were playing throw and catch with it). He started bleeding and passed out and I just walked away laughing. Kid was found about 2 hours later, still unconcious.
He didn't died though
Took my sister's bunny by the ears and slammed it on the ground repeatedly, when my mother suddenly arrived without me expecting, i tried feeding it to the dog quickly...
I was 8 or 9.
I was extremely desperate for attention....
I killed someone and I will not elaborate more.
I'm proud of myself in a twisted way, but at the same time I'll never get to see or hold my daughter and she'll be raised by an ugly father and slut mother. Fathers day is pretty fun
>be me in mid 30s
>18 year old daughter
>been having a relationship with daughters 19 year old friend behind her husband, my girlfriend and my daughter's back
>feel guilty but feelsgoodtopullyoungpussywithnostringsattached.jpg
>daughters friend is coming over tonight
>she wants to fuck while daughter is there
>FUCK MY GUILT WILL BANG HER RIGHT IN HER ASS.
Am I a bad parent /b/?
Not a pilot, just got a managment job because of my service and college. I don't give a single fuck if you believe me or not, I browse /b/ because I kinda like you faggots. You want to knowwhats really good, I do it from my mobile at work, while bringing in that 150k a year. Don't be jealous fuckwad, get out and get you some.
>brother and sister in law are wasted one night
>always found sister in law hot as fuck
>I'm sober as a judge drive them home
>they are blacked
>get them inside
>my brother is out cold on the living room couch
>sister in law passed put no pants spread eagle on their bed
>guess what... I touch her, get hard
>fuck passed out sister in law
>dean brother to bed
>pull his cloths off
>mad cause he has a bigger dick than me
>about a month later
>dinner for moms bday
>"we are pregnant!"
>suspect it's mine
>brother tells me that they think it was hat blackout night neither of them remember shit but they woke up naked etc.
Yep I cuckolded my own brother
>i came in the mouthpieces of the entire french horn section in high school
>i come in food just about every time i have to make it for someone else
>ive stolen about $300 of toiletries from my university
>stolen about $2000 worth of stuff from department stores
>i sabotaged my competition in a fencing tournament so i could be seated higher
>ive deliberately injured other players in pretty much any sport i compete in
>ive dropped a baby and not told the parents
>ive stolen government property to the tune of about 30 signs from the city utilities warehouse
>ive stepped on a cat by accident
shot someone with my co2 gun while I was on cocain. felt like a sharpshooter
I did some fucked up things as a kid.
One time I was at a rec center. I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom. For no reason, I decided to piss in a random guys locker with his clothes in it through the crack.
Another time I was at my brothers high school and waiting outside for him and my mother to finish and come back out. Found a dudes backpack, dumped in a nearby trashbin. No reason whatsoever.
At church during a youth group meeting, I decided to skip one day. I went in the choir room and wiped my ass on some of the choir robes and got shit marks on them. Just bored. I also shit on the floor in the bathroom. The janitor was a very nice old lady too and I knew that.
Things like that.
No. I don't know exactly what possessed me to do those things. I just felt like doing horrible things, it gave me a rush.
Some more things:
Me and some friends that lived in a mobile home park went through peoples mailboxes and either threw their mail around or put it random peoples boxes. While looking for valuable things like money.
Pissing and shitting on public bathroom floors, all the toilet paper, etc. was also one of my greatest past times.
So.. do you have a gun or not?
If you can't just direct it at you and shoot, you're NOT suicidal.
If you don't have one, i can understand. I'm a eurofag as well, and the last time i saw a weapon that could penetrate bone was 10 years ago on an american tank parade.
Some more things:
I used to discreetly rub girls butts during sunday school and church. Caught of course, I wasnt as sneaky as I thought.
In elementary school, on the bus ride home I was sitting next to this really un popular kid. He was nice though. I pulled his penis out of his pants and made fun of him while every one looked at it. For some reason he didnt fight it. Either he enjoyed it or just didnt know what to do.
Would you look at that. I have always wanted to get 666. Sweet.
>i go inside because i couldn't float in 8 feet
>cousin in living room
>cousin is 11 too
>i dry off
>go in uncles room, because that guys a deadbeat and never graduated high school
>blankets all over the floor
>get under blankets
>cousin has on rainbow 2 piece bikini
>she takes her top off
>i suck on the nips
>she takes her bottoms off
>put dick in
>stroking as hard as i could for an 11 year old
>hear door open
>her mom is looking for her.
>she pulls back blanket
>mfw i'm laying there, dick in pussy scared as fuck
>her mom screams
>OH HELL NAHH
>she yells out to everybody in the house and announces it outside
>my grandma gets a switch
>beats our asses to pulps
>never fucked again
>family never the same
>every christmas we see each other, she looks like she wants the D
Meh. He'll never know the difference. He'll even feel the same bond as a father given your genetics are so similar.
You should totally tell them on his 18th birthday, but only if he ends up successful.
If he ends up gay/fucked up, drink yourself to death
Never change anon.
>convince new kid to skip class
>take him to my friends house(friend was at school in class, checked before we left the school)
>show him how to break into Friends house
>tell him where he keeps his drugs/money
>about $120 in cash and 2 oz of high grade weed
>give the new kid $20 worth of the weed and 10 bucks
>take the rest for myself
To make it worse:
>call friend i just stole from
>he still in class
>tell him i want a dub sack(to clear myself as a suspect when he inevitably finds his stash gone)
>he says he'll skip his test because im such a bro(this is where i began to feel bad about the situation)
>i meet him half way between the school and his house
>Him and I walk to his house while he tells me how good this chronic he got is (im high as shit on said weed as we walk)
>get to his house
>i wait outside
>comes out pissed as fuck
> "DUDE SOMEONE STOLE MY SHIT"
>me "wtf no way!"
>i then proceed to "help" him narrow down the suspects
>I convince him it was a kid who i know doesn't like him
>He confronts the kid
>the kid doesn't even care he is getting blamed for something he didn't do
>kicks the shit out of my friend(while a crowd of people and I watch)
I still hang out with him
Almost all of our mutual friends know i was behind the whole thing
No one tells him
He's still salty about it, we talk about it all the time
pic related, his face when he came out of his house to tell me his stash was gone
Had a dog lick my dick when I was 15, I was so horny it was like torture and I was in homeschool so no gf potential at all.
I watched it because a friend mentioned a talking racoon when we were talking about raccoons. If they hadn't I would not have watched it. The raccoon was kick ass though. The racoon and the tree made it an overall nice movie in my opinion.
Stole all the mailboxes in my neighbourhood in one night because I needed material, they never found out but I was fucking paranoid until 1-2 months later.
Lol, so many normies in here
>live in quintessential redneck town in Alabama
>unwittingly get hooked on cheese pizza (particularly shota pizza)
>find myself staying up until 4AM waiting for someone to make threads
>back then they could stay up for almost an hour before the mods took them down
>fapped to them until my dick ran out of ammo
>consider suicide multiple times
>as the years pass however pizza threads get rarer and rarer until they're almost extinct altogether
>think to myself "maybe I can finally straighten out my goddamn life"
>nope still craving cheesy pizza
>frequently have vivid erotic dreams about it
>consider suicide again
>my town (Hackleburg, AL) gets torn a new asshole by an EF5 tornado
>entire neighborhoods leveled, bodies everywhere
>my house survives
>help with the relief effort to seek survivors
>eventually see what appears to be a shoe sticking out from under a smashed dresser cabninet
>lift cabinet off to see what's underneath
>it's a fucking dead kid
>can't be older than 10
>clothes are ripped to shit but oddly seems to lack any terminal injuries
>apparently he died from neck fracture from hitting the ground
>horror is suddenly suppressed by raw, abominable sexual lust
>no one is around
>in a possessed trance rip off all his clothes revealing is tight shota body with silky smooth skin and a round bubble butt
>cock becomes beyond diamond hard
>plow him doggystyle like a rabid beast while light rain trickles down our bodies
>heart beating like a machine gun
>absolute nirvana as I pump my seed into his tight creamy asshole
>repeat two more times and head home
>balls feel noticeably empty thereafter
>while in bed that night have a complete dearth of thoughts
>just cold, deadening silence
>live with stigma for the rest of my life
And that's the story of how I fucked the dead body of a tornado victim. Goodnight /b/.
Use to act like a dog for some reason. Would shit outside until i got caught, but at summer camp i saw another kid acting like a dog so i waited til we were alone behind the racquetball courts then shoved him down pissed on him and howled. Was scared shitless i was gonna be arrested but i guess he never told
In first grade this kid brought in his Mousetrap game which is that complex board game with all the parts. I was helping him break it down and a spring shot away and only I saw it go. Didn't want to admit that I'd lost the spring so didn't even look for it. Never told anybody about this until now.
Holy shit. Thread over. This guy wins.
Me 20 years old. Had a fuck buddy that cheated on every boyfriend with me. When on her 17th birthday i got her pregnant mistakenly, told her to get an abortion she couldn't do it so shes currently 7 months pregnant and her boyfriend thinks its his.
I am >>592473121
I don't know about the other two but I do not judge. Its not like it was my mailbox. I think you do good work. If I had extra money I would buy something from you but I am broke. Sorry.
>OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam.
>In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.
>In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog.
>when my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...
>but the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other.
>I never felt so bad in my entire life.
>And that's the story of how I fucked the dead body of a tornado victim. Goodnight /b/.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
When I was in 7th grade I took a shit on the seat in the bathroom. Picked it up with some TP and smeared it on the walls, put some on the floor in the next stall, and some on top of the divider between stalls (walls were painted bricks).
Dumbass me left my lanyard in the stall and got caught and had to clean it up. Fuck that was a terrible memory.
Please take a closer look at the title of the fish statue I posted.
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Well, that's enough internet for today...
>be me around 9 sister is 7
>beta as fuck bullied at school
>me and sis not so close bu watching t.v. is parents room
>on parents bed
>start playing a game where she copys what im doing
>play for some time then i pull down my pants
>hard af for a kid
>she does the same
>i stick it in
>she says it hurts and i pull out
>never talk about it again
>hope to god she forgot about it
>regret it everyday
>mfw i fucked my little sister
Not so extreme, but i once slept with homeless people because I was drunk and i had to wait for a train. At this time I couldn't take the plane with my friends because of a lung problem.
There was this kid at my high school who fucked his friend's cat in the ass. Then his friend's mom walked in. Some way or another this spread through the entire school.
There were also daily announcements made by the school's AV team that were broadcast all over the school at the start of the day. One of them had an interview with the kid who fucked the cat about something. Right at the end of the interview, they put in a "MEOW" sound. As soon as I heard it, you could hear the whole school of around 2000 students erupt in laughter.
hard to say. shitting into a paperbin 3 times on my balcony is for sure one and that I jizzed for years on my carpet and doors. man this crusty shit was hard to clean before I moved out...
I convinced a dude I work with to talk to planned parenthood with is pregnant 17-yo gf. He came back saying she had an abortion. So I kinda got a 17-yo chick to have an abortion.
20, at university. Girlfriend told me she had been raped by a dj in the student bar. Grabbed him one night after the bar closed. Balaclava. Out to the local woods. Tied him to a tree. Broke both legs with a baseball bat. Left him there. Found two days later, no leading it back to me. Ruined his life. Girlfriend none the wiser. Turns out she lied. First time I ever told anyone this.