[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Click for more| Home]

Okay /b/, story time. >be me >be 17 yr old betafag >walking

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 76
Thread images: 24

File: 1419720986720s.jpg (3KB, 103x125px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1419720986720s.jpg
3KB, 103x125px
Okay /b/, story time.

>be me
>be 17 yr old betafag
>walking down the street
>see this grill
>walking a
>solid 9.5/10
>too beta to ask her out
>waiting at crosswalk for a light to turn green
>she walks up behind me
>slips me a note
>its her number
>HOLYSHIT.jpg
>go home after picking up beer and hot pockets
>call her
>picks up within seconds

>Her: oh hey, you must be that guy I slipped my number to
>Her: so... what's your name?
>me: It's Anon
>Her: wow! that's a nice name!
>me: I was kinda wondering if you wanted to go to dinner together?
>her: I would love to anon!
>her: see you there! I live at 34 autism st.
>she hangs up
>no time to waste
>make reservations at this italian place
>get dressed in the best things I have
>start my car
>drive to her place

Cont
>>
does it end with you getting mugged?
>>
Slow motherfucker
>>
>>591836519
*whispers to anon* he finds out hes gay is the rest of the story ;p
>>
File: 1.jpg (48KB, 900x900px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1.jpg
48KB, 900x900px
>see this grill
>>
This story is so flawed, I don't believe it. Fuck off op you are a massive faggot. Go back to sucking your dogs cock
/thread
>>
File: 279.jpg (171KB, 1600x1600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
279.jpg
171KB, 1600x1600px
>this grill
>>
>>591836887
>Grill gets offended because I took it to Italian place.
>All it wanted was my ribs to cook
>>
File: 1420804402342s.jpg (3KB, 125x109px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1420804402342s.jpg
3KB, 125x109px
Was this grill on fire?
>>
>>591837637
It was very hot indeed
>>
File: 1380307959465.jpg (195KB, 1080x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1380307959465.jpg
195KB, 1080x720px
>>591836265

http://youtu.be/swgU1x9T-EY
>>
>>591836887
>>591837375
>>591837637
>are there people this new
>>
>mfw story ends with OP walking the dinosaur with his auntie and uncle in bel air because shrek is love, shrek is life and the dogs don't
>>
>>591838096
>your new is showing faggot.
continue your gay story OP
>>
>>591836265
Cont

>get to her place
>get out of car and knock on door
>she comes out
>looks freaking amazing
>"oh hi anon, where are we going?"
>"its this restaraunt called the big dick, I think you'll like it"
>we get in car
>drive to the restaraunt
> get there and get to our table
>its on the patio and the view is cash
> Waiter arrives within seconds of us sitting down
>"Hello sir and madam, what would you like to order?
>me: "uh, I'll get the lobster supreme
>her: 'I'll get the garden salad
>the waiter goes to the kitchen.
> I ask her "so, where are you from?"
>she replies "oh, im from canada, but I moved here to go to college
>our food comes really fast
>we dig in
>best fucking lobster i've ever had.

>after we're done, I pay the bill
>myprivlege.png
> I tell her this corny as fuck joke
>she still laughs
> after we leave she tells me
> "I think we should head back to... your place"
>ohfuckyes.png

cont
>>
File: image.jpg (112KB, 600x600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
112KB, 600x600px
No one is even mentioning him being a child?

Enjoy your ban. Try harder on the story next time, this is only making us cringe
>>
File: Thorin Oakenshield.jpg (265KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Thorin Oakenshield.jpg
265KB, 768x1024px
>>591819782
How did you buy beer at 17? Are you Australian or something?
>>
File: 1324640767364.jpg (76KB, 595x413px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1324640767364.jpg
76KB, 595x413px
>>591838275
>mfw forgot pic
>>
>>591838076
Who's tits are those???
>>
>>591836887
>>591837375
>>591837637
>>591837779
>>591838415
Neefags every day.
>>
all fake af haha fake story/2
>>
>>591838453
this could be a tale from a while back you fucking new friend. use some of that squishy meat in your skull.
>>
File: check_em.jpg (12KB, 319x267px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
check_em.jpg
12KB, 319x267px
>Inb4 tree fiddy
Also checkem
>>
>>591838418
Hurry up goddamnit
>>
>>591838673
faggotfags, only you.
>>
flugly floogly
>>
>>591838453
>>591838482
>someone tells a story
>automatically assume it happened yesterday
>>
>>591836265
just stop
we don't want to hear about your trap fantasy..
>>
dude, got nothing better to do, the least you could do is not take so long to think up something blegh
>>
>>591836265

Go on
>>
File: nee.jpg (47KB, 720x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
nee.jpg
47KB, 720x480px
>>591838673
>Neefags
You mean like these guys?
>>
>>591838953
Buy a beer? Start his car? Go to dinner?

Are you really autistic enough to think 17 year olds do that? This fag isn't even making a good story it's terribly cliche
>>
>>591839537
muh nigga
>>
god awful
>>
>2015
>not pre-typing stories
>>
butt rage thread is the surprise ending
>>
>>591839676
Brilliant detective work there Columbo, never would have guessed his story was fake if you hadn't pointed it out.

>The stories and information posted here are autistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>
File: 1419636374973s.jpg (5KB, 243x250px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1419636374973s.jpg
5KB, 243x250px
>>591838418
Cont

>get back to my place
>its fucking dirty as hell, but apparently she doesnt mind
>we get to my bedroom and she tells me "lets get down to buisness"
>HOLYSHITYES.webm
>take shower
>go back into bedroom
>lying there, naked.
>get erection
>jump onto bed
>start fucking
>it was fucking amazing
>No longer a virgin
>afterwards we have some "pillow talk"
>she says "you know anon, I really really want to be with you."
> I reply "me too"
> she's about to say something when I hear
>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
>wake up
>realize that was all a dream
>mfw

That was 3 years ago. I didn't ever have a car, and i'm still a virgin.
>>
>>591839676
Fake ID's work wonders man.
>>
>>591840380
dissapointing even though its what i expected
>>
>>591840380
LEL best ending ever.
>>
File: iktfeel.png (7KB, 234x215px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
iktfeel.png
7KB, 234x215px
>>591840380
>>
>>591840380

thanks anon
>>
File: 1306647184215.jpg (35KB, 418x650px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1306647184215.jpg
35KB, 418x650px
>>591840380
>i'm still a virgin
natural selection hard at work
>>
>>591840380
Nice
>>
File: 1416800033381.jpg (196KB, 960x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1416800033381.jpg
196KB, 960x720px
>>591840380
30yo kissless virgin here, have these dreams all the time, love em tell i wake up.
>>
>>591840380
MOTHER
FUCKER
>>
>>591840905
Fucking natural selection , why cant I just trade my cow for the neighbours daughter?
>>
File: iaintevenmad.jpg (19KB, 386x287px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
iaintevenmad.jpg
19KB, 386x287px
>>591841292

same for me but 28yo , doesn't bother me at all.
>>
>>591841292
dum fells
>>
>>591841292
WIZARD
>>
OP here, to be honest, I should have expected it. Buying beer, having a car, ect.
>>
>>591840380
>Have to clean sheets
>>
File: 7je5.jpg (39KB, 435x455px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
7je5.jpg
39KB, 435x455px
>>591842039
yeah the powers are lame. the ability to make my self feel like shit all the time.
>>
File: 123.png (217KB, 828x1532px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
123.png
217KB, 828x1532px
>>591836265

Here, have this to remember.
>>
>>591838453
*Posts a absolutely disgusting anime fan art piece of shit. Actually thinks he is of higher value than OP. Nice try weeabo faggot.
>>
>>591838482
what is a fake ID
>>
>>591842773
Thanks
>>
>>591836265
>>591840488
Am a mayor of Computer Science.
Still mayoring in Computer Science.

Being a mayor is hard.
We have a council meeting later today about raising property taxes.
Bjarne Stroustrup is a dick, he always comes to the town hall meeting with new ideas. I can hardly keep up, he almost makes me useless.
Most of our land is allocated to industry/technology so most people are not actually living here.
I have to go now I got a 01011101010 code from 011101.
That means that the 101101110 is 34AF and I need to fix the int arr[3] for the input
>>
>>591841292
17 here. virgin not kissless. Had numberous dates and some girls i almost had a relationship with but i can't make the first step. Autism got me on the end.
>>
>>591840380
OP the faggot now going on with the story
>a few days of jason and his bullshit go by and my programming students doing pretty well
>find out that the VNC tool used on my laptop as an Admin tool are also used on the student laptops
>and come to find out, the login is the same as the teacher login,
>fuckyeah.jpg
>logging in, and ALL the student computers are in here, so, to get back at jason, i set all of his homepages to porn websites and use his school email to email the principle CP
>He is later arrested and expelled
>evilsmile.jpg
>after he's gone and i get used to the school and my autistic math class, I start to pull more and more shit
>I regularly shut down students laptops, on every friday i unblock all blocked websites etc.
>then a "teacher association meeting" was called to find out what is causing this
>shit,
>im sooooo fucked i thought…..
>>
>>591844416
>OP the faggot now going on with the story
>>a few days of jason and his bullshit go by and my programming students doing pretty well
>>find out that the VNC tool used on my laptop as an Admin tool are also used on the student laptops
>>and come to find out, the login is the same as the teacher login,
>>fuckyeah.jpg
>>logging in, and ALL the student computers are in here, so, to get back at jason, i set all of his homepages to porn websites and use his school email to email the principle CP
>>He is later arrested and expelled
>>evilsmile.jpg
>>after he's gone and i get used to the school and my autistic math class, I start to pull more and more shit
>>I regularly shut down students laptops, on every friday i unblock all blocked websites etc.
>>then a "teacher association meeting" was called to find out what is causing this
>>shit,
>>im sooooo fucked i thought…..
>>
אַפּ די פאַגאָט איצט געגאנגען אויף מיט די געשיכטע
> אַ ביסל טעג פון דזשייסאַן און זיין בולשיט גיין דורך און מיין פּראָגראַממינג סטודענטן טוען שיין געזונט
> געפינען אויס אַז די וונק געצייַג געניצט אויף מיין לאַפּטאַפּ ווי אַן אַדמין געצייַג זענען אויך געניצט אויף דעם תּלמיד לאַפּטאַפּס
> און קומען צו געפינען אויס, די לאָגין איז דער זעלביקער ווי דער מלמד לאָגין,
> פוקקיעאַה.דזשפּג
> לאָגינג אין, און אַלע די תּלמיד קאָמפּיוטערס זענען אין דאָ, אַזוי, צו באַקומען צוריק בייַ דזשייסאַן, איך שטעלן אַלע פון זיין האָמעפּאַגעס צו פּאָרן וועבסיטעס און נוצן זיין שול Email צו בליצפּאָסט דעם פּרינציפּ קפּ
> ער איז שפּעטער ערעסטיד און יקספּעלד
> עווילסמילע.דזשפּג
> נאָך ער ס פאַרבייַ און איך באַקומען געניצט צו די שול און מיין אָטיסטיק מאַט קלאַס, איך אָנהייבן צו ציען מער און מער דרעק
> איך קעסיידער פאַרמאַכן אַראָפּ סטודענטן לאַפּטאַפּס, אויף יעדער פרייטאג איך ונבלאָקק אַלע אפגעשטעלט וועבסיטעס עטק
> דעריבער אַ "לערער טאָכעס באַגעגעניש" איז גערופן צו געפֿינען אויס וואָס איז קאָזינג דעם
> דרעק,
> ים סאָאָאָאָאָ פאַקט איך געדאַנק ... ..
>>
File: 1420873612174.jpg (9KB, 199x250px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1420873612174.jpg
9KB, 199x250px
>>591840380
>>
>>591839676
You're moronic kid. Do you even know where you are?
>>
Boodhkan asalka qaniis yahay ee hadda la sheekada socday
> dhawr maalmood Yasoon iyo Hajka by tag iyo ardayda barnaamijyada aan si fiican qabanayaan
> ogaato in qalab VNC la isticmaalay on my laptop sida qalab Admin ah ayaa sidoo kale loo isticmaalaa on laptops ardayga
> iyo yimaadaan si ay u ogaadaan, login yahay la mid ah sida login macallinka,
> galmo .jpg haa
> gasho, iyo ALL kombiyuutarada ardayga waa in halkan, si, si ay dib ugu heli at Jason, i dhigay dhamaan homepages uu si websites lulataaye iyo isticmaali uu email dugsiga si ay email carruurta Filimada lagu mabda '
> Waxa uu markii dambe waxaa la xiray oo la Dheereeyey,
> .jpg dhoola xun
> ka dib markii uu u tegey oo i la qabsado dugsiga iyo fasalka xisaabta ootiisamka, waxaan ku billaabaa jiid shire iyo aad u badan
> Waxaan si joogto ah hoos Jimcihii kasta i Unblock dhan websites horjoogsaday iwm ardayda laptops xidhay,
> markaas a "shirka ururka macallimiinta" waxaa loo bixiyey si aad u ogaato waxa keeneysa
> shire,
> i ahay sooooo fucked Waxaan u maleeyay in ... ..
>>
>>591840380
That wild feel.I know that feel
>>
File: 250.jpg (13KB, 261x195px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
250.jpg
13KB, 261x195px
>>591845633
>אַפּ די פאַגאָט איצט געגאנגען אויף מיט די געשיכטע
>> אַ ביסל טעג פון דזשייסאַן און זיין בולשיט גיין דורך און מיין פּראָגראַממינג סטודענטן טוען שיין געזונט
>> געפינען אויס אַז די וונק געצייַג געניצט אויף מיין לאַפּטאַפּ ווי אַן אַדמין געצייַג זענען אויך געניצט אויף דעם תּלמיד לאַפּטאַפּס
>> און קומען צו געפינען אויס, די לאָגין איז דער זעלביקער ווי דער מלמד לאָגין,
>> פוקקיעאַה.דזשפּג
>> לאָגינג אין, און אַלע די תּלמיד קאָמפּיוטערס זענען אין דאָ, אַזוי, צו באַקומען צוריק בייַ דזשייסאַן, איך שטעלן אַלע פון זיין האָמעפּאַגעס צו פּאָרן וועבסיטעס און נוצן זיין שול Email צו בליצפּאָסט דעם פּרינציפּ קפּ
>> ער איז שפּעטער ערעסטיד און יקספּעלד
>> עווילסמילע.דזשפּג
>> נאָך ער ס פאַרבייַ און איך באַקומען געניצט צו די שול און מיין אָטיסטיק מאַט קלאַס, איך אָנהייבן צו ציען מער און מער דרעק
>> איך קעסיידער פאַרמאַכן אַראָפּ סטודענטן לאַפּטאַפּס, אויף יעדער פרייטאג איך ונבלאָקק אַלע אפגעשטעלט וועבסיטעס עטק
>> דעריבער אַ "לערער טאָכעס באַגעגעניש" איז גערופן צו געפֿינען אויס וואָס איז קאָזינג דעם
>> דרעק,
>> ים סאָאָאָאָאָ פאַקט איך געדאַנק ... ..
>>
File: prevented.jpg (22KB, 226x260px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
prevented.jpg
22KB, 226x260px
>>591845633
היטלער האט עפּעס קאַליע.
>>
>>591843315
>weeabo
Do you know where you are right now?
>>
File: SQUIDWARD.png (97KB, 250x251px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
SQUIDWARD.png
97KB, 250x251px
>>591840380
What a fucking pleb
>>
OP History of fun to go now
> Jason and his garbage to pass my days are pretty good at programming students
> My laptop used laptops for students device is used as a management tool that VNC
> I need to know what it is that connects teachers,
> Fuckyeah.jpg
> Connect all student computers have here, then, again, Jason, and I use the CP, to send a letter to the principle of the school in the home pages of all porn sites
> He was later arrested and deported
> Evilsmile.jpg
> I left school, I began to draw more and more shit for the rest of my rice used in math class
> I am a student of the normal laptops on Friday that will block all blocked sites, etc. closed
> "Meet the name of SSA teachers to find out what is behind this
> Shit
> I think it's fucked up stories to paint ... ..
>>
>>591840380
Yo pillow-talk is the fucking best after sex. Me and my girl will fuck then smoke. You're missing out because YOU AREN'T FUCKING TRYING
>>
>>591838418
>big dick
>>
OP ເທີຍໃນປັດຈຸບັນເຮົາກ່ຽວກັບເລື່ອງການ
> ສອງສາມມື້ຂອງ Jason ແລະ ຍິ່ງ ຂອງເຂົາໄປໂດຍທີ່ນັກສຶກສາການຂຽນໂປຣແກຣມຂອງຂ້າພະເຈົ້າການເຮັດດີ
> ພົບວ່າເຄື່ອງມື VNC ໃຊ້ໃນຄອມພິວເຕີຂອງຂ້າພະເຈົ້າເປັນເຄື່ອງມື Admin ເປັນໄດ້ຖືກນໍາໃຊ້ຍັງຢູ່ໃນຄອມພິວເຕີຂອງນັກຮຽນ
> ແລະມາເພື່ອຊອກຫາ, ເຂົ້າສູ່ລະບົບແມ່ນຄືກັນເປັນລະບົບຄູອາຈານ,
fuckyeah.jpg>
> ການຕັດໄມ້ທ່ອນໃນ, ແລະທັງຫມົດໃນຄອມພິວເຕີຂອງນັກຮຽນຢູ່ໃນທີ່ນີ້, ດັ່ງນັ້ນ, ເພື່ອໃຫ້ໄດ້ຮັບກັບຄືນໄປບ່ອນຢູ່ໃນ jason, i ກໍານົດທັງຫມົດຂອງຫນ້າເວັບທໍາອິດຂອງເວັບໄຊທ໌ porn ແລະການນໍາໃຊ້ອີເມວຂອງໂຮງຮຽນການສົ່ງອີເມວເຂົ້າຈີ່ເນີຍແຂງຫຼັກການ
> ພຣະອົງໄດ້ຖືກຈັບກຸມຕໍ່ມາ, ແລະຖືກໄລ່ອອກ
> ຮອຍຍິ້ມ ຊົ່ວຮ້າຍ
> ຫລັງຈາກທີ່ເຂົາໄດ້ຫມົດແລະຂ້າພະເຈົ້າໄດ້ນໍາໃຊ້ເພື່ອໂຮງຮຽນແລະຫ້ອງຮຽນຄະນິດສາດຂອງຂ້າພະເຈົ້າ autistic, ຂ້າພະເຈົ້າເລີ່ມຕົ້ນທີ່ຈະດຶງ
>>
>>591842773
The sleepy anon of bad luck
Nevar forget 10/1/2014
Thread posts: 76
Thread images: 24


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.