"28 December - A phone call to Albermarle Regional Jail

>>588676380

It'a happening!

What do you think prison will be like for Chris? How soon until he runs the place?

File: redditmorelikefeggit.jpg (52KB, 505x476px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 505x476px

>>588677107

This is huge fucking news why is /b/ not blowing up about this does it cut too deep

Source: http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Main_Page

I think I know the next Chris Chan

I have an 8 year old cousin with full blown autism who dresses up as Sonic the Hedgehog at least once a week and runs around town
I babysit the fucker all the time because his mother's a drug addict and I bring over smash bros brawl and the fucker always plays as sonic and almost always wins
i caught him drawing pictures of sonic and his room is literally full of sonic pictures stapled to his walls
he got beat up last week at his school for dressing up as sonic and challenging kids to a race.
he goes into full blown temper tantrums whenever people imply mario is better than sonic, and tried stealing the new sonic game from Gamestop

>>588677530
Some big black shower daddy is gonna be getting a girlfriend-free boy

File: chris-chan.png (1MB, 1424x2200px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1424x2200px

I bet the Jews did this.

File: 10689659_10152872865882418_251217929928494700_n.png (535KB, 720x720px) Image search: [Google]

535KB, 720x720px

>>588676380
>>588679894

This is why he went to jail. Because Sonic's arms are blue rather than flesh colored.

File: latest.png (3MB, 2132x1811px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 2132x1811px

>>588676380
>>588680137
>>588679894

For comparison.

File: 1.jpg (114KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 640x360px

>>588679061
get him a junker dirt bike and teach him how to be a man
its what my older brother did for me and I never picked up a video game since

File: sonic_lol_so_true.jpg (155KB, 602x553px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 602x553px

>>588677530
>What do you think prison will be like for Chris? How soon until he runs the place?

I reckon that Chris will live in the Womans Prison as he is assigned Trans.

This means that he will become the leader of the trans-gangs that are in the penitentiary, due to his naturally higher levels of myostatin being a born male.

This means that through heavy sass and wit battles, just like that orange show about dykes heshe will rise to the challenge and proudly fly the rainbow flag of the trans-gang now known as the sonichu.

The sonichu will control all the hormone drug markets in the prison, thereby controlling all narcotics that flow through the establishment, meaning Chris will become the purveyor of pleasure and pain within a place that was meant to break him.

Being in control of all the narcotics, he will track the supplies to Japan, wherupon his release he shall use his trans-contacts in the Yakuza to track Sega executives down and once and for all vivify his noble quest to un-rape Sonic.

Justice shall be served.

He will rise once again from the ashes of suffering, doubt and male cis-opression

File: sanic.png (60KB, 1040x372px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 1040x372px

>>588680577

funny

>>588676380
No one gives a shit about this Chris-chan. Just let it run its own course and do something else, you homo.

Summary for TL;DR:
''''
Chris very likely sprayed a fogger-type mace rather than Axe or whatever he might have been using to vandalize any Sanic standees, based on the Tumblrite's assertion that it was mace, and the fact that the reaction was cut off at the end of the video. Mace is not instantaneously debilitating.
''''
The person maced was likely an assistant manajerk or otherwise higher-up at GameStop.
''''
According to a phone call placed to the Gamestop in question (which is confirmed as the C-Ville Fashion Square Mall GameStop), the employee was indeed maced.
''''
Chris is still on probation from the Snyder attack. He is therefore very likely going to get violated on that, regardless of whatever shit he gets in for this assault.
''''
Chris is wearing glasses from a MLP toy set.
''''
The person who was sprayed is okay.
''''
Legally, Chris committed some sort of vandalism, likely a criminal trespass, and very likely a felony-level assault.
''''
Chris has been banned from GameStop at the corporate level.
''''
Tumblr is shitting itself re: misgendering Chris.
''''
All the GameStops in the area knew full well who Chris was before this incident.
''''
We have no information about whether Chris has been arrested or even taken in for questioning at this time.
''''
Chris is competent to stand trial, and there is no reason to believe his conduct, as autistic as it is, would support an insanity defense.

File: 22222.jpg (331KB, 1158x585px) Image search: [Google]

331KB, 1158x585px

>>588681140
>No one gives a shit about this Chris-chan. Just let it run its own course and do something else, you homo.

Lords Ladies Demi-sexuals and various other genders of /b/.
I come before you beseeching your mercy. Not upon myself, as I have long ago opened my eyes to the darkness that lurks within the internet.

Nay, I ask your mercy to befall upon this anon, whom has stunned us all with their audacity.

Please give them mercy, for they know not what they do

>tips and casts level 12 lurk

http://youtu.be/EflHHVROiSs

>>588682698
Stop being gay faggot.

why isn't this bigger news?

>>588682211
>Chris is wearing glasses from a MLP toy set.

Specifically, the Vinyl Scratch (DJ PON-3) glasses that were only available in a boxed set with an Equestria Girls convertible. Never mind how I know that.

>>588684429
People are working.

>>588682211
>Legally, Chris committed some sort of vandalism, likely a criminal trespass, and very likely a felony-level assault.

Mace or pepper spray constitutes "other dangerous weapon" in most definitions of aggravated assault, making assault with such an item a felony. Potentially. Often they just charge simple assault, though.

>>588682211
>Tumblr is shitting itself re: misgendering Chris.

Is there any way to crank this up? Cause they're going to be sending him to dude jail.

Any time anyone shows this retard the slightest trace of kindness, he goes into full stalker mode, and it would be hilarious to see them try to deal with an obsessed Chris-Chan while he goes bugfuck.

They'll love him when he starts telling them how much he loves "niggos."

>>588676380

Can't believe this isn't posted yet. Police scanner audio.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk-Oa8BinxE

Thank you based Chris Chan. Always outdoing himself

>>588682211
But do they have Battlefrogs?

Can anyone confirm this?

File: 1418864510275.jpg (11KB, 267x273px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 267x273px

>>588685095


HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAH

File: Larson.gif (186KB, 225x200px) Image search: [Google]

186KB, 225x200px

>>588680577

File: 1418705671993.jpg (508KB, 2000x1848px) Image search: [Google]

508KB, 2000x1848px

>>588685371
>>588682211
>But do they have Battlefrogs?
>Can anyone confirm this?


Marry me

>>588676380
it was only a matter of time

lolwut I live here who the fuck is he.
Albemarle Regional Jail
Prison
160 Peregory Lane, Charlottesville, VA 22902
(434) 977-6981

>>588685371
Warrior Amphibians*

>>588686143

Call up and see if people can send him gifts.

CHIS CHAN DID NOTHING WRONG

File: 13.jpg (761KB, 2112x2816px) Image search: [Google]

761KB, 2112x2816px

tmblr live !!!!!! http://jessdonna19.tumblr.com

File: image.jpg (70KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 500x500px

>>588686143
>>588686143
>>588686143
>who the fuck is he
Who the fuck are you?

>>588680577
I approve of this post.

File: Naamloos-2.png (138KB, 350x350px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 350x350px

I hear they're going to charge him with a chrisdemeanor.

>>588686901

PEDRO!!!!

>>588686901
JESUS!!!!!

>>588686143
>>588686602
>>588686504
>lolwut I live here who the fuck is he.

Must be bait. Still, being dangerously close to my triggers is one of my triggers.

We must collectively call this patriarchal institution and ensure that chris is not raped in any way by these cis-scum.

The liberty of trans-choice must be preserved.

>>588680577
You should watch K-11.

>>588684567
Ill always enjoy /b/s wide breadth of weirdos and the knowledge they bring

Damn this jail is 99.8 black.

>>588682211
>Mace is not instantaneously debilitating.
you have not been maced

that shit debilitates fucking grizzly bears instantly

>>588687578

He's gonna get RAPED

File: image.jpg (306KB, 1032x774px) Image search: [Google]

306KB, 1032x774px

>>588682211
Pardon my autismo-amnesia, but what was the Snyder attack? what did Kurisimu-kun done?

>>588687209
are you sure ? it might be the only chance this abomination has to get sex.

>>588676380
>>588687545

>>588687507
>Ill always enjoy /b/s wide breadth of weirdos and the knowledge they bring


>alert alert a 9gag/reddit user who can't use grammar.

Quickly pretend we are dumb or more of them will come and say they lurked here before it was cool

>>588687738
thats bear mace. generally not recommended for humans

>>588687209
>The liberty of trans-choice must be preserved.

They're totally respecting his wishes. He decided to act like a bitch, and now he's being treated like one.

>>588687875
that grammer were flawless idiot

>>588687875
Fuckin new fags
I've been here all summer

>>588687800

He (and his equally crazy mom) both hit Snyder, a GameStop manager Chris was stalking, with their cars. No serious injuries, but vehicular assault is always a serious crime.

He got off (and got the probation he's on) after his lolyer successfully argued he was "an autistic man-child" (lawyer's words) who didn't know what he was doing.

>>588687968
>implying bear mace isn't standard issue for police
>implying human mace isn't just as debilitating
>implying you have any clue what the fuck you are talking about

>>588686504
send him sonic toys with the blue arms haha

>>588688352
>implying you've ever used mace on a bear

Any verification that he has been arrested or is in the pokey?

>>588680577
Chris is a fucking genious

File: nb9Olvo.gif (2MB, 255x190px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 255x190px

>>588688576
I don't know his name to ask them.

Sheeeet

>>588685095
>>588677614

>>588688576
>Any verification that he has been arrested or is in the pokey?

what

>>588688884
why do I have a boner?

>>588688565
no, not first hand. but my buddy jim who is a hunter used that shit and said it saved his life.

you can look at videos of bears being maced, it stops them instantly.


it wouldn't be very effective if it didn't send em running basically as soon as it touched em

>>588688576

Yes. Phone call to the jail.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1DW1pS6JNUn

File: image.jpg (60KB, 384x500px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 384x500px

>>588688352
>implying mace is any stronger than nutmeg

>>588688565
I bake it in cookies

>>588687875
Who the fuck cares about grammar are you 12

>>588689405
made me kek

>>588688884
>I don't know enough about internet to Google Chris-Chan and find his dox

>>588689333

Love that the cop says "you're the third person to call in a row."

File: 1419452719853.jpg (118KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

118KB, 1280x720px

>>588689467
>>588688174


>mfw butthurt 9gaggers oust themselves as reddit patriarchal cis-swine

>>588687738

He may not have been maced but I have, more than once, and no it's not instant.

>>588688352
>>implying bear mace isn't standard issue for police

Implying Chris chan is in the police.

>>588689931
>oust
i know you want to use words you consider "fancy" in an effort to sound intelligent.

but someone outs themselves with regards to revealing identity

if they were ousted, they would have been removed from the thread

>>588689931
> haha I'm trelling you