>be me >walk into a bar >want to drink a cold beer >call the barman >ask for a cold paulaner >barman serves >tastes really good >finish drinking >want to go >asks for price >barman says something >can't hear what barman says >asks him again >barman whispers >putting my ears close to his lips >asks him again >tree fiddy >spits >? >see tail >god dammit loch ness monster, I ain’t gonna give you no tree fiddy.
Went to a strip bar. Some girl there used to live in italy so she spoke italian. I spoke shitty italian. The place was closing down and she asked if there was another place we could drink. I said my house. We went back there. I had sex, raw dog no less. I woke up the next morning and made an excuse as to why I couldn't drive her home and instead gave her train money. I was nervous for like a year due to aids. /end
>be me getting sloppy >at bar ALL DAY >need to take shit >low flow toilet wont flush my shit >REACH IN barehand and unclogg >hand smells like shit rest of night >some guy sprays me with colonge >take home 7/10 slutbag >she is so loose i can fist her with shit hand >was not a bad night, never saw her again >her name was Rachel
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