ITT: the darkest and most offensive joke you know, now with extra prejudice
How do make a three year old cry twice in a row?
>Wipe your bloodied cock all over their face when your done.
So I was waiting at the train station this morning, when there was this nigger with this bike.
I watched them and I knew I had seen it somewhere before.
That's when I realised it looked like mine!
So I ditched waiting and hurried home, checking if it was still there.
It was, polishing my boots.
What breaks when you screw a three-year old? Her hips.
What's red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on razorblades.
What's blue and sits in the corner? A baby with a bag over it's head.
What's green and sits in the corner? The same baby 6 weeks later.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? I can't pick up bowling balls with a pitchfork.
My regular Indian taxi driver picked me up whilst singing along to his crappy Punjabi music at the top of his voice.
He smiled when I pulled out my set of new ear plugs, "Looks like you've come prepared this time," he said laughing.
I smiled back at him and replied, "Yes," as I put them up my nostrils.
What is black and blue, and sits on a corner?
dead NYPD cops in squad car.
I don't think which is more shocking for my wife, the fact that I fucked our daughter or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
Wow, that's an obscure reference.
A Missouri bar is offering The Michael Brown drink special: Six shots of something.
Q. What would Michael Brown be doing if he were alive today?
A. Clawing frantically at the inside of his coffin.
A man and his son are standing in Auschwitz, looking at a pair of chimneys spewing black smoke into the sky.
"Dad, why is the smoke so black?" the boy asked his father.
"Well, son" the father replied "they forgot to take the rubber boots off grandpa."
Q: How do you know an africans teeth out?
A: Paint a rock to look like a dinner roll
Q: What's the national dish of Somalia?
A: Empty Plate
Q: How do you get a baby to stop crawling in cirlces?
A: You nail the other hand to the floor
Q: What's 30 cm long, black and blue and will make a woman cry all night?
A: Sudden infant death syndrome
Little Jonny is sitting in class and the teacher brings out three different types of meats for the students to taste and guess what they are. Little Jonny gets the first two : ham and beef but he can't get the third one. So the teacher offers him a hint. What does your dad call your mom when he gets home from work. Then someone in the back row yells "Spit it out Jonny it's an asshole!"
Lost. I was working in a building with loads of Indians once and when I went to the bathroom, the place fucking STUNK of curry, holy fuck. I spent the entire piss laughing to myself.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
- I don't cum in a sandwich before eating it.
How did the dead baby cross the road?
- It's entrails were still stuck to my dick.