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Let's do this /b/

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 247
Thread images: 35

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Let's do this /b/
one time i used the washroom and didn't wash my hands
my senior year we let a cow in the building, they can walk up stairs but not down. it took a crane to get it out.
i smoked a cigarette in front of a no smoking sign
i tried to fart but shat instead
one time i fingered a girl in front of a no smoking sign
Took a shit in the middle of the third floor corridor. It took a crane to get it out.
I fingered a no smoking sign in front of a girl
broke into a girl's house and stole a ton of shit
Drove a Crain into the parking lot. Took a crab to get out
There I sat, broken hearted...
Tried to shit but only farted.
And later on by happenstance,
I tried to fart and shit my pants
too deep man
I went on the grass in front of the "don't step on grass" sign

one time I fingered in front of a no smoking sign girl
This one dude I used to smoke with said he didn't like this kid so he went to his house one night and took his tiny dog. He took it to a alley far away and hit the dog in the head with a hammer a few times. No one knew it was him he just wanted to fuck with him. Crazy
The same dude would also let his 2 year old brother hit the bong. I didn't want to tell the police because he was crazy
one no smoking time i girled a sign in front of
I signed a finger in front of a smoking girl no
>be me at school
>angry teen angst twilight rebel loving bad boy
>teacher says to go straight to the principals office (to show him my amazing homework which I got an A+ on)
>walking to office then suddenly take bathroom break
>no one even noticed and I didn't even tell the teacher!!! xD LOL
My little sister had a crush on my friend

I agreed that he could fuck her if he let me watch

I did and jerked off outside watching them through a window.

God im pathetic
>Spray Painted 1, 2, and 4 on some pigs.
>Let them loose in the building
>Took a crane to get them out
made peanut/poison ivy juice on everything
>have school
>did not go to school
top kek
>be me
>see friends younger sister walking up stairs
>she freshman
>has all her books
>how can i not fuck with her?
>as she lifts up her leg to take the next stair, i grabbed her ankle
>she falls
>books go errwhere
>point and laugh as i walk past
>didnt help to pick things up
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It begins...
Lied about shit I did in middle school on 4 chan
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Once I turned the nozzle on on one of those safety chemical shower things after a science class. The whole room flooded, never told anyone until now.
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here's my story
I got a blowjob at the school gazebo while watching people get in theit cars in yhe parking lot
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>be me
>had this teacher who was a real dick to me
>one day everyone was at lunch except for me
>alone in his class
>start thinking of revenge plans
>see fresh, hot, steaming cup of coffee he left on his desk to cool
>i walk over to it
>pull pants down
>squats over coffee
>push as hard as I can
>there is now a fresh, steaming turd, in his freash, steamy coffee
>I slip out of class
>go to cafeteria
>dont say a word

do it faggot
Pretty sure I've seen this one but sure why not
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Shut up poop bandit
I was the murderer in Venezuela
had sex with then gfs best friend in shower on band trip. I also used the other girl that was staying in the rooms swimsuit to clean up
> be skinny kid
> be on lax team
> get picked on by another lax douche
> keyed the fuck out of douche's penis compensating truck
> no one knoooooooows
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I broke the dam
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I once fingered a girl on top of the school, took a crane to get her out.
i can post pic with timestamp and bag of poop if you need proof
Photoshopped my teacher into 911 and got suspended.
Later talked my way out of it but damn.
Yes do continue



proof pls
So I was told that I needed to seek a tutor to help me with chemistry. When I met my tutor, she was really hot then I realized that I was home schooled and it was my mum.
>hop on bus
>get to school
>go in bathroom
>take mescaline
>first period
>don't feel shit
>go to bathroom take more
>go to second period its hitting pretty fucking hard
>history class
>see picture of horse being drown in history book
>start cracking the fuck up
>get yelled at
>cant stop laughing
>teacher tells me to go to office
>go in bathroom to relax
>lose track of time
>is now 4th period
>go to office
>they know somethings up
>principal asks if okay starts asking if I need water then asks if im high
>get suspended for 20 days
I did a lot of dph and fucked up my brain before my life had even really started.
lol did some similar shit but it was someone littler brother and I tripped him going down the stairs fell down 3 stairs I bolted before he saw me

10 internets to you!

I actually fucked my little sister when I was in high school. She was still in elementary grades at the time. I felt guilty as hell every time but kept doing her. She was just too damn cute and had the softest blond hair. At nine she developed hips and had the sweetest little ass. At ten she started developing firm little breasts. It was all good!
We towed the principal's car and left it in front of a gay bar
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I didn't get dubs

I broke the dam
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>Be like 9th grade or something
>Go to school
>In first period
>Feel like I need to shit
>No time between classes
>Feel absolutely horrible
>Literally a rotten "there's something dead inside me" feeling
>Feel like a fart would help, but whenever I try feels like I'll shit
>Probably looked pale and sickly the entire day through
>Get picked up
>Get home
>Run to bathroom
>Mfw it was only a fart
>Mfw I could have let it out any time and relieved it all

wow I suddenly feel less pathetic
>Snuck into school during middle of night w/ comrades
>moved all of the folding cafeteria tables into the main office and blocked off the outside doors
>had some fun with spray paint and super glue
>climbed out through the courtyard and over the roof
>still havent been caught after 6 years

Having a little sister to fuck, means never wondering if you might get some ass every week end. She was always glad to help me out if I came home from a date with blue balls. What a little sweetheart!
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>be me
>15 years old
>always wanted to pull fire alarm
>was walking down hallway with friend, during class time
>see fire alarm
>look around, no one in sight
>it's now or never
>i pull the alarm
>we fucking run down the staircase, directly into a janitor
>she yells "WHO PULLED IT?
>we leave the building casually
>i was called to the office and questioned about it
>they had no proof
>later that day on PA system they ask for anyone with any information retaining to the events of that day
>say that pulling the fire alarm is "the lowest of the low"
another story
>broken leg
>take 4 of my pain pills
>can barely use crutches
>get to third period
>eyes blood shot as fuck
>tell teacher I fell in the hall and have been crying
>stay in her room in the back corner until the end of 7th period
>"think I feel better"
>take a few steps and fall over from being so damn high
>have people carry my books for me to study hall
>go to sleep until bell rings
>get tap on shoulder
>its the fucking principal
>asks me if I feel better
>tell him I feel great
>has me go sit in nurses office with foot elevated and ice on it until end of school day
>get excuse from principal to all the classes I missed

people asked me what I was on all day the next day
at my school they suspended some freshman for 30 days for pulling the fucking fire alarm
>Be in middle school
>Have friend who happens to be female
>Realized later she was all about attention, waved her problems and oddities in people's faces
>Irritating in hindsight, but considered her my best friend at the time so didn't notice
>Brags to us she's bisexual
>(This is a Deep South Private Conservative School, mind you, so this would be a big taboo)
>Wow, that's interesting
>I proceed to tell everyone and their grandmother that "Anonette is bi!" the whole day through
>She yells at me afterschool for telling everyone

It wasn't actually that big of a deal, especially since (as I later learned) "Anonette is bi" wasn't as interesting gossip to them as "Joe, Jim, and Jill the 6th graders had a threesome in the locker room" and shit like that.
you can also get fined $400+
8/10 adrenaline rush, would do again
Joe and Jim sound lucky as fuck shit I would feel like a god fucking a bitch during school hours

My sister wasn't that reliable but she did give me head once when I was 17 and she was 19 on Christmas eve.
In 10th grade I jerked off in photo class, sitting nearly shoulder-to-shoulder with a girl next to me. Once I was ready to finish, I got up and pretended to blow my nose, but I actually sat back down and blew my load half leaning over on said girl.
I would have done it but they had cameras installed all over my school my freshman year because we had a lot of fights and thefts
how did she not see were you developing the photos in the low light setting room whatever the fuck its called
ah, my school didn't have cameras
>Be 15
>Be on period
>History teacher being an asshole
>Wait till he leaves room
>Reach under skirt and pullout tampon
>Dip it in teacher's coffee like a teabag
>Return to seat
>Teacher returns
>Takes sip of coffee
>Spits out coffee
>Never drinks coffee again

Nobody ever found out
>Be in year 8 AUS
>Have sport as walking where we walk to a park, play random games and shit
>One day kid offers my friend can of coke
>Says "If you don't finish it I can drink the rest"
>Finishes drink on walk down
>I say as joke "you should piss in it and give it back"
>when we get to park friend disappears for a few mins and comes back
>"Is this too warm anon"
>He actually pissed in it
>Dilute with cold water so glass isnt warm
>Give back to kid
>Him drinking the piss still to this day was the funniest thing I have seen, got two mouthfuls before he realised
I stole my 10th grade math teachers panties when she went swimming. Best part was she cried about it.
No it was more of a computer lab for digital photography. The lights were off and we were watching an instructional movie.
During my HS years I was positively oversexed. I'd date and sometimes not get my rocks off, but rather then rub one out before I'd get home, I kept myself on edge until I'd get home and have my little sister take care of me. Nothing like getting head from a ten-year-old when you're so ready to pop and your pre-cum is flowing. The additional taboo added to the power of the orgasm.
lucky shit would have had lots of fun if those god damn cameras weren't there
I took a fuck one tiem in the wunderhoozizits it takes a shit to nigger it out with a cranes.
did you wank in them then put them in someones locker for lulz
>be me
>edgy motherfucker who jokes about Nazis all the time.
>see we plaster to cover up a hole in the wall.
>get idea
>draw swastika on the wall in wet plaster.
>fast forward 2 weeks later.
>principal calls assembly about what happened.
>Jewish girl goes up in front of the entire school and starts crying. Saying that she doesn't feel safe coming to school anymore.
>mfw I never fessed up to what I did and got away with it.
din't go to hi scool
just middle scool
Tapped into school network and fucked the website for kek
Also got a girl to break up with someone for me and when she said if she could be with me I denied her because she had kicked me in the bollocks

Not when the reason everyone knows about it is because they got caught.

I forget if they were all in 6th grade though. The girl at least was in middle school, the guys might have been lower-high.

>get caught fucking in the locker room
>girl gets kicked out
>boys part of the football team
>get a slap on the wrist
>I guess God and sin aren't as important as winning the next football game, huh, you fucking hypocrites
>girl gets accepted back a year later because parents got the $$$
story from freshman year
>new freshmen come to new hs
>decide to upset current power structure
>gains multiple followers
>decide to initiate war with the world
>many peoples got carried out on stretchers
>principle gets on PA system to demand a stop to the violence.
>violence continues
>police get involved
>kid gets arrested, never heard from again
i also did shit like short circuiting outlets so they don't work anymore
i thought it would just blow the breaker switch initially, but it turns out it melts the brass(?) connections inside of the wall instead
similar story
>have to watch over special needs students sometimes
>put on movie for them
>some faggy Disney movie
>turn lights off
>20 minutes in hear loud grunting
>turn lights on
>one of them was beating off to the fucking Disney movie
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fucking loled
I jacked off while sniffing them for the next several weeks. Bonus part was finding a single golden pube.

what the fuck is wrong with you
I'd do it again, it was quite a rush, but back then if I got caught I'd be suspended and publicly shamed in school. Now if I did that I'd be arrested and put on a sex offender list. Being a adult is less fun in some ways :(
I would laugh even harder some jewish bitch tried kicking me out of "her" seat "bitch you cant call dibs on a god damn bleacher get the fuck out of here before I gas your fucking family" she gives me a dirty look then walks away it felt amazing putting that kike bitch in her place
Kek'd pretty hard
same poster as

this news story is from middle school
>tl:dr, i declined a needle, things escalated, i was asked if i have ever thought about blowing up the school, i replied with what any kid would, "of fucking course i have", charged with bomb threat
>tfw spent a night in a holding cell at the age of 12
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The story of my first BJ
>Freshman in HS
>Knew a girl for three years prior
>I had a HUGE crush on her
>She moved across state because her parents were retiring
>I get involved with an academic team at my school
>We travel across the state to compete
>Haven't talked to this girl in over a year
>See her at a tournament
>Start talking, really flirty
>Too pussy to make a move
>Probably a solid 7/10 over all, but a 10/10 body
>The rest of the year goes by
>Team does really well
>End up going to State finals
>See her there
>We talk, even more flirtatious
>I make a move
>Shes totally down
>People everywhere, need to find a place to go
>Find a small door under a staircase
>Leads into a sewer/boilerroom area
>Shes hesitant but still down
>Things get real heavy
>I wipe my dick out
>Shes never seen a dick before
>Is hesitant but starts jerking me off
>I kind of guide her to her knees
>She is scared of it but puts it in her mouth
>Her mouth is cold as shit
>Takes it out and says, "It tastes like arm."
>"Why did you say that?" "What does that mean?"
>"I thought it would have a more distinct taste..."
>She keeps going
>Shes absolutely shit at it. Like, REALLY BAD
>I end up worrying that I'm going to miss my teams round, so I basically just end up jerking off in front of her and then let her finish me off
>Swallows, pretty fucking hot
>I zip up and wanna leave
>She stands up and her black sweats are COVERED in dirt on her knees
>She has to change into different clothes
>Gets completely naked in front of me
>We leave
>Find out later all my friends were at the door listening
>Heard her say it tastes like arm
>Was called Adarm (My name is Adam) for the rest of my HS career...
That was my first blowjob story
My parents found out like three months later and I was in a shit load of trouble. The next year she gave me two more BJs to get "practice".

Maybe they are more cooperative when their brother is a number of years older. My little sister thought I was God, and to play with and suck God's cock was the most special thing she could imagine.

A she got to her tween years she became a sub that would do anything kinky I even suggested. She ended up blowing me in every room in the house and the garage... and we lived in an old two-story house with a finished basement. Took a couple years since there were a lot of people coming and going but got it done.
still fucking worth it no charges filed get a piece of ass at school and everyone knows you double teamed a bitch at school
>be me 15
>sleep in class
>teacher wakes me up
>yell at her for waking me up
>sent to office
>5 min later
>walk back into class
>furious teacher
>she gets call from office as I walk in
>"they said they didn't want you?"
>"okay goodnight then"
>back to sleep

Not really fucked up shit but still
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I broke the dam
> girlfriend on pill for two months
> still doesn't want to have sex without condom
>says it's safer and doesn't want to deal with added mess
> promise I'll pull out in time
>shit is so cash I don't pull out
> girlfriend mad
> lie and say I couldn't help it. She was just too hot and tight.
> changes mood from mad to complemented
nice try Hitler
only time I did some stupid shit we had a switch that said do not touch in big red letters I said fuck that and flipped it down apparently it powered the room and all the comps turned off and the lights turned off teacher flipped I told him I accidently brushed against it he called me a lying ass hole and I called him a dick weed got sent to office got a Saturday school if not for those cameras I would of been getting in trouble constantly
Anyone have that story where that kid jacked off into his prom dates shoe?
my first BJ was with a girl with braces. they was snaggin. i regret nothing tho
one a in girl smoking no fingered time sign of I front.
damn well that works at least
just go home
>>587207 I had a couple of teachers I wished I could of stole panties from. Only thrill like that I ever was when I stayed after School and when my math teacher went to the bathroom I went and slapped my cock on her phone and rubbed it all over her purse.
yeah being a little shit was great because most charges went away at 18 now you get charged and your fucked
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>senior year
>last week of school
>find 20 shit bombs
>Every day i lit a shit bomb at a different hallway intersection
>only place crowded enough for camera not to see
>had it under the hoodie i was holding in my hand
popped it and just let it fall on the ground
>part of the hallway is shut down and classrooms evacuated (lel)
>Next day, i let off 2 smoke bombs
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the only cool things I did were in junior high
>be me
>be in 8th grade
>be in science
>bitch teacher wont teach us
>kids are just talking and doing nothing
>she leaves the class
>nigger friend and I grab scissors
>nigger friend goes up to her expensive lamp
>cuts the cord while plugged in
>sparks fly everywhere
>she comes back in
>never found out it was us
>mfw nigger friend would have died if the scissors didnt have plastic on the grip
>Be 13
>Wanted to be edgy as fuck
>Grab a pair of scissors from a random kid's pencil box
>Go behind this Asian girl and cut a large chunk of hair
>Teacher sees me
>Writes up a referral
>Be passing period to 4th
>See this douchebag that's been fucking with my crush
>Go behind him and try to cut his hair
>Get his fucking neck
>Rushes to the principle
>300 lbs asst. principle storms in art class
>Get suspended 5 days
>Suspension started after Spring break
hey bitch had it coming trying to claim a seat for her own its a fucking bleacher we had to sit through a 30 minute assembly doesn't really matter where the fuck you sit
if it wasn't plastic now that would be a great story
I haven't done anything fucked up in high school because I always try to be a nice guy to every one
I actually don't disagree with you at all.
lol that would be amazing after break who thanks ass wipes my friend had in school suspension the second to last week of school wrote on a piece of paper that he loves cock put it in window teacher saw me and I got a 10 day suspension starting the first week of the next school year I didn't think they could do that but they sure as fuck can
>underaged b&
>Friends and I threw a full bottle of water into a random stall where a person was at and ran off into the sunset.
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Thread needs more epic pantsing events. And more boy-on-boy action in general. And more pics.
thats a funny ass story
she was unstable as fuck she stabbed some arab kid with a pen for calling her a fat cunt glad that bitch didn't stick a knife in my back or some shit
underage b&
>be senior
>in class doing presentations
>thai girl is giving her presentation
>friend asks her a question and she thinks he's being an ass
>friend starts actually being an ass
>rest of class starts ganging up on him
>be biggest ass in known universe
>ass of peter griffin
>thai girl cries
>"damn anon. that was harsh."
>ask legitimate question about presentation

then after class
>teacher's like wtf anon?
>they were picking on my friend
>and no fucks were given that day
burnt down the auto shop after breaking into a car and hotboxing the fuck out of it
>be 15
>have a teacher by the name of Burrage who was the absolute biggest pushover in the known universe.
>early 50s, greasy comb over, unshaven, food stains always on his shirts, giant child molester glasses
>that + exceptionally rowdy, shitty students in the class = nightmare for him
>My friend and I would often mutter (quite audibly) "get...away...from me" as he walked by.
>we'd also break pencils over out desks and point them at him, as though they were beer bottles at a bar fight.
>And we could be considered the "good kids" in the class
>this classroom was shared by different teachers throughout the day, and one of them sold snack items.
>kids in our class would steal said items.
>My friend and I kept our grade in the class up by ratting out the other kids.
>once, on the day of progress reports, I walk up to Burrage's desk to dickishly ask if mine was done yet.
>he tells me no, I'll just have to wait
>I say fine and turn around to walk back to my seat and say in a falsely quiet voice "...Fag"
>he does nothing.

>once, we came to his room after school because he was offering extra credit.
>All we had to do was staple packets of paper together for a lesson while he left for some faculty meeting
>we spend 20 minutes stapling every packet completely shut
>staples everywhere.
>come back to school the next day
>"so how much extra credit did we get?"
>He does nothing.
>gives us a look of pathetic, beaten down loathing
>and our extra credit.

>The dude was so oblivious and helpless that nothing at all was done or noticed or anything when I brought my friend into class while he was quietly tripping on acid
>but that's another story

>One time my friend and I figured out which car was Burrage's
>a white POS early 90's carolla with dents in the doors
>we waiting in the parking lot one afternoon for him to come out.
>when he did, we were leaning up against his shit car.


My friends and I ripped off all of the soap dispensers in the boys bathrooms to get them locked as a part of a revolution inside of our schools government.

>we also put them in the toilets and flushed them
>this was called a "bubble bath"
I broke the dam
lol I have only one
>in 7th grade
>assembly for stupid fucking magazine drive
>kid at top of bleachers walking to bathroom
>gets pants pulled down underwear and all
>falls down bleachers
>draws lots of attention
>crawls to knees to pull pants up
>balling his eyes out
>transfers schools
>kid who pulled his pants down gets criminal charges don't remember what cause its been so fucking long
>when he saw us in the distance, my friend, whose foot was resting up against the driver's side door, kicked back as hard as he could.
>we walked away laughing before he got up close.

>we were so incredibly shitty to this guy, that I'm not sure which I'm more ashamed of:
>the shit we pulled with him, or the fact that typing it out now still has me in tears with laughter 12 years later.
can you recall the story of your friend tripping in his class?
that's stupid and bro as fuck
Nice copy pasta faggot
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Oh absolutely. Just gonna type it out, no greentext. it'll be quicker.

Stand by
>be me in middle school
>threw rocks like a bastard
>threw rocks at kids in class
>drop kicked rock in assembly and >rock hits kid in head
>kids form human pyramid for photo
>I throw rock and hit kid in face.
>me like throwing rocks
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>Be me, high school senior
>A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year
>It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething
>Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems
>Both are in my trig class
>Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool
>He tells me I can cheat off his tests if I do one thing for him
>I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers
>”Sure, anything.”
>He asks me how to legally change his name
>He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving
>Can't say I blame him
>Ask him what he wants his new name to be
>”Lee. Like, Bruce Lee.”
>Ling overhears us from a few rows away
>Says that his name has been passed down for generations
>His parents would disown him if he changed it
>Ving doesn't give a shit
>I offer to drive him to town hall after school
>Ling insists on tagging along
>Shrug, drive them both
>Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk
>Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate
>Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet
>Suddenly starts looking conflicted
>Apparently ancestral shit runs deep
>Tells receptionist he can't do it
>She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request
>Stupid-ass small-town laws
>Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse
>Is about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall
>Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans
>Someone's gone full 'murican
>Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks
>Dad runs up and embraces son
>Huge smile on his face
>”Don't stop, be Lee, Ving
>Hold on to that fee, Ling.”
let bird into school, it took a crane to get it out
were you in the special classes
you're a piece of shit, i bet you guys drove this poor faggot to suicide
got me
Way to steal that from Tumblr fag
ooooooold pasta
No It all started when...
>I take attendance and lunch count.
>collected rocks to give to some beaner.
>beaner starts throwing them in class
>and then I joined
But for real that was so fucking of stupid of me and somehow I. Ever got caught.
I haven't lost this hard in a while. Thank you.
had a push over teacher met him outside of school turns out he does blow and drinks whiskey like a champ eventually I became his coke dealer we still kick it you probably missed out on some fun kicking it with him
Stole the shed from the garden (yeah our school has a garden) put it up in our maths class and filled it with shredded paper when he came back he was smoking and when he opened it all the paper lit on fire around him and there was an ambulance and a firetruck and everything. Also one time we charged into the rugby post and it fell through the roof.
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>be me
>eating pussy for first time
>look down a little at butthole area
>see some toilet paper sticking out
>gag a little
>pull toilet paper out and throw under bed
>make eye contact with girl
>we both know what just happened
>keep eating pussy
She was hot
your school sounds way better then mine I got fucking suspended cause some faggot little fuck snitched on me for throwing my lunch in the trash from my fucking seat 5 feet away
Keyed a nice fucking brand new $40k car becuz it belonged to a bitch. Also 4 of us shit in a gated neighborhoods public pool. And stole all the alcohol from the snack bar. All in one night
God fucking damn it.
you are a nigger
i h8 u
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Holy shit same at my school.
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You monster
I told the vice principal he was a bitch for giving me suspension based off hear say and he fucking flipped
> the bong
>be me
>16 yr old junior
>drink with senior buddy
>feel her tits and ass
>become friends with benefits
>her fat friend likes me
>receive oral sex from senior buddy
>first time reviving when sober
>nut on her face
>she's mad
>says she'll never do it again
>receive oral multiple times after
>she tries swallowing
>she likes it
>issues come about
>she gets a close friend of mine drunk
>makes out with him
>my dick was there first
>never told friend about benefits
>continue to talk to friend 3 years to date.
>feel like asshole friend
>be me
>16 yr old junior
>drink with senior buddy
>feel her tits and ass
>become friends with benefits
>her fat friend likes me
>receive oral sex from senior buddy
>first time reviving when sober
>nut on her face
>she's mad
>says she'll never do it again
>receive oral multiple times after
>she tries swallowing
>she likes it
>issues come about
>she gets a close friend of mine drunk
>makes out with him
>my dick was there first
>never told friend about benefits
>continue to talk to friend 3 years to date.
>feel like asshole friend
> being this new
Fucking kill yourself you pathetic new fag candy ass.
I cracked up when I pictured it in my head
So my friend Keith had some drug connection in one of his other classes. I never actually met them. But he got some acid from them once.

At the time it was our custom to not actually eat lunch, but just hang out in the auditorium during lunch. Weren't exactly allowed to, so we'd be hidden in this little nook toward the front of the building.

So he takes the first hit, which was on a piece of gum. I'm sitting in a chair and he's on the floor on the opposite wall. Everything is normal for a minute or so. Then he starts to get quiet. Kinda slumps forward and is staring at my shoe.

"...what's up, Keith?" No answer. "What's up with my shoe?"
"Not a shoe...fuzzy...animal" And he starts to pet my shoe. Now I'm cracking up. He slowly starts to look up at me. When he gets to my head, and look of shock comes across his face and his eyes continue going farther upward.
"what do you see, Keith?"
"There's a sunflower...growing out of your head"
He picks the sunflower and tries to smell it, but it apparently disappears, as he starts looking around, confused.

The bell rings. "We gotta get to Burrage's now, Keith" I get him off the floor and start leading him out of the auditorium. This is a funny sight, since he was a very tall pudgy sorta dude, and I'm short and skinny.
We get outside and he's terrified of every crack in the sidewalk. He's stepping over them as though they're huge fissures. This goes on for a while, but Keith has become completely silent.

I get him to Burrage's where we are watching The Patriot that day. Keith is standing in the back of the room, staring at the wall.
Burrage: "Keith, could you sit down, please? No response. Burrage starts the movie and doesn't say a damn thing else about Keith having his nose against the wall.
He (Keith) eventually sits in his seat and puts his head down. This punk rock guy we knew named Andrew asks me what's up with him. I tell him he took acid at lunch. Andrew finds this hilarious.
*taps on his shoulder. Keith's head comes up"
Keith doesn't react, much to our disappointment.
We start watching The Patriot. Keith even eventually starts watching. Still hasn't said anything since "there's a sunflower growing out of your head"
He takes out markers and begins drawing on his hand. Something was happening in the movie where someone handed someone else a letter and says "take this to my children"
A minute later Keith gets my attention and speaks for the first time in an hour
Keith:"...give this to my children" *holds up his hand to show what looks like a big pickle with the word Hi written over it.
I crack up.
A battle in The Patriot begins. Keith prepares for the battle as though he's living it. Shoots air musket.

The bell rings and we don't have our next class together. Being a dick, I help Keith into the hall, but then only half-assedly make sure he's coherent enough to function before going off to my next class. He made it there fine though.

That was the first time Keith dropped acid at school...that day. The next time was after school. Would you like me to continue to that story as well?
he sucked your dick basically?
I know, I knooow. He actually was only at our school for the first nine weeks. He got fired because even the actual good kids hated him. There were tons of complaints about him losing people's work and never actually teaching us anything (which was true, though probably our fault)
I doubt it with this guy, actually
Be me lonly faggot with out anybody the end
fuck off greentext faggot.
>fuck off greentext faggot.
fuck off greentext faggot.
>smoke weed in alley before school
>smoke weed in bathroom
>smoke weed in quad
>smoke weed behind bleachers
>take e and trip in ceramics class
>take vicodin and sleep
its all kinda like a blur now
Ur so awzum
>be me
>talking to pretty girl
>we end up going out
>while we were on a date (at Wendy's) our 3rd period teacher shows up.
>in my surprise she recognizes me and ask if I studied for the upcoming test
>she starts yelling at me in Wendy's while everyone looks at me
>super embarrassed
>teacher goes into restroom
>girl already left
>then a wild idea strikes
>go to teachers car
> ugly red Mercedes
>chew many cough drops simultaneously (cough drops have same effect as laxatives when eaten a lot)
>shit all over her car
> I turned the red Mercedes into brown Mercedes
> gtfo quickly
> next day teacher didn't show up because she was at the shop
> I am the alpha
More please. Shit's hilarious.
Planted a little bag with cocaine CLEARLY sticking out of the purse of a teacher i hated.
It worked
oh this dude is chill as fuck his dad moved into his house and killed himself in his garage death by exhaust fumes it really fucked him up
What point are you trying to make?
OP asked for fucked up shit, smoking weed several times at school is pretty bad.
>be me
>16 yr old junior
>drink with senior buddy
>feel her tits and ass
>become friends with benefits
>her fat friend likes me
>receive oral sex from senior buddy
>first time reviving when sober
>nut on her face
>she's mad
>says she'll never do it again
>receive oral multiple times after
>she tries swallowing
>she likes it
>issues come about
>she gets a close friend of mine drunk
>makes out with him
>my dick was there first
>never told friend about benefits
>continue to talk to friend 3 years to date.
>feel like asshole friend>>587219985
he kissed the lips that received my loads and wrapped around my dick

true story btw
Stand by, typin'
snorted coke/adderall and smoked weed in bathrooms, drank vodka in class. smoked weed in other places on campus, brought stinky ass weed to school, shit like that..
why didnt you say you studied??
its not fucked up at all, its pretty normal
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the best
me too. dxm though.
I pooped in a book
>be me 17 years old in marching band
>decide i should drink before a football game
>get a bottle of vodka for my first time drinking
>me and 2 others finish the bottle
>wasted as shit i go to band not thinking im to drunk
>be freshman
>sitting in spanish class
>teacher is retarded ass scatterbrained cunt everyone hates
>air conditioning making odd rattling sound
>tell nignog girls around me that i'm going to fuck with teacher and play along
>air conditioner kicks on
>i jump up screaming
>nignog 1 yelps and nignog 2 falls out of chair
>teacher, the air conditioner sounds like its going to explode!
>we don't feel comfortable being in this room with it.
>nignogs act dramatic like normal helping my cause
>"sit down, anon. let me see"
>pretends to know things about ac
>i say fuck this and walk out followed by nignogs
>entire class walks out and sits against the walls
>tfw we have no class for two days
>tfw i am hero
>tfw she fucking called the janitor to fix it

those niggas only clean shit
It is probably the worst he has done though, I do agree, I smoked once at school. I just find it silly that anon posted a pointless, probably anti weed reply just to incite shitty drug arguments.
>I got a VP fired.
>VP was a real asshat. New to our school, trying to make himself look good.
>He came out of a high school of druggies.
>Out HS was into getting drunk during class.
>He sees drug addicts everywhere, hassles everyone.
>When he starts hassling my GF because she is on the pill (so we can fuck like rabbits), and her best friend (who is on medication for migraines, I flip my shit.
>I get online at my "big brains" forum, complain about his shit.
>First time my brothers there had ever heard me complain.
>Turns out one of my online buds is the school superintendant.
>He looks into my ranting.
>VP is fired with prejudice, and not allowed near kids until he completes some anger management courses.
>We get back the pushover VP they transferred out to bring in the new guy to straighten out the school.
>School goes to shit, but I don't care. No one is making my fuck bunny so upset we can't fuck whenever I want.
>be me
>be 16
>my next-door neighbor was my girlfriend
>wanted me over at around 12am-2am
>decide to do it
>sneak into backyard, walk to fence
>can't jump it since their are people partying across street
>wait about 10 minutes
>they finally go inside
>hop over and walk over to gf's window
...lmao is that all?
I fingered a freshmen girl in the back of the class while she jerked me off.
>she fell asleep since she was waiting
>start tapping her window
>cant hear me, so tapping gets louder
>she wakes up and opens the window
>tells me her mom is coming outside
>oh shit.jpg
>walk over to short bush and stand behind it
>wearing white shirt, not even hidden
>her mom walks over to where i'm at
>i freeze, praying she hasn't saw me
>her staring intensifies
>realize i'm fuck3d
>walk of shame.jpg
>didn't even make eye contact with her
>didn't respond to her, even though she was yelling in spanish at me
>gf comes out with her dad
>spanish yelling intensifes
>finally make it to my fence
>hop over
>go home and rub one out
yeah i agree with this guy:
Im sorry you fucker, you had a boring high school you were practically an obedient child and lost the greatest chance of your life to have fun and do crazy things and its NEVER NEVER NEVER COMING UP

yeah it is kinda normal. kids smoke weed in high school all the time.
im going to share the "smoking weed in quad" story

>be stoner in high school
>have stoner friend who is a genius
>creates a device hidden under his sweater to smoke weed discretely
>it is a long tube that runs from the opening of the sleeve next to the hand, all the way up to the opening for the head
>the bowl is right next to the hand
>the part where you hit from is hanging out right by his neck
>hang out in the quad during lunch
>everyone is giving friend "hugs" where they would pretend to hug and take a hit while he lights it
>everyone is blazed and theres a visible cloud floating over our heads
>vice principle comes out and is watching everyone
>lol lets get out of here
>never caught
I fucking dominated my teachers in MTG
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>be in 9th grade PE
>everyone picks on this one autistic kid who runs around pretending to be naruto
>feel sorry for him, but want to fit in
>me and a few other boys pee in his locker through the vent while hes not looking
>watch him take out his clothes covered in piss and laugh as he starts crying
>that was almost 10 years ago, still feel bad
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put a dead plecostomus in a drinking fountain
So I meet up with Keith after 6th period. He calls me an asshole for leaving him after Burrage's class. But it's all lighthearted and everything is fine. He made it through the day and is lucid again. He says everything after lunch until last period was a blur, so I fill him in.

He thinks it's hilarious and decides to take the other hit of acid now. Things do not go as well this time.

He starts out fine, but more talkative this time. We're sitting on the outside steps of the auditorium with our friend Scotland and JJ. Across the street there is a hair salon. A woman from the salon is walking outside with a manikin head.
Keith JUMPS up and starts running for the street. Keep in mind, Keith was a large dude. Not fat necessarily, but also not one you would expect could haul ass and escape three other guys.
He goes darting across the rather busy street in front of the high school, thankfully not getting hit or causing any accidents. Also thankfully, the woman with the manikin head was back inside and never knew someone was running after her.

We're trying to catch up to Keith, who is wandering off through the bushes into the parking lot of the next building. I start to catch up to him and yell his name.

He turns, sees me and gets this look of just absolute utter horror on his face, and doubles up his effort at hauling ass away from there.
When I asked him about it the next day, he told me that I was a grizzly bear.

So, with some team effort, we eventually catch him and bring him back to the steps. We have to keep a hand each on him to make sure he didn't bolt again. He was really sweaty at this point because it was spring time in florida. We also kept promising him oreo cookies if he'd stay still.
Eventually his mom shows up to pick him up and we release him into her custody hoping for the best.
Walked into my High School with an AR and some handguns and systematically went from room to room pumping rounds into everything that moved.

Best senior prank ever.
He told me the next day that when he got in the car and looked at his mom, her hair, which was short, poofed up into a giant afro. He snapped his head back forward and was able to make it home without her finding out.
>(now ex) gf jerked me off on a bus
Did he ever find out who did it?

Where's he now?
great story man
>go to additional lessons after school
>2 hotties there
>skipping all the bullshit i fuck both of them
>sonn i realise that one of them is a sister and the other one is a girlfriend of the most buffed guy in school
>mfw they tell him because guilt was too high
I was never really actually a stoner in high school. I tried it twice total, neither was with Keith actually.

But capital E, eeeeeveryone thought that I was a huge pothead. Mainly because of the fact that I was friends with Keith who WAS a huge pothead. Guilty by association.
It didn't help that I had long hair, was pretty quiet, and wore contacts that almost always made my eyes red.
literally every boy in the entire PE class did shit like this to him, so the blame wasn't pinned on anyone in particular. I honestly have no idea what hes doing now, that was in 2005 and I never bothered getting to know him.
Thanks. Keith was probably the worst peer influence I had as a teenager. We had some fucking great times.

So weird that now that he's like this awesome step dad to two little boys. Weird, in like a nice way.
Get in trouble at PE for always being late. Sent to PE teachers office, big x marine. Makes me blow him. Swallow nut and everything. Late next day.
no way. are you a female?
We played a game called "Ketchup Circus" with a friendly tard during lunch. We would throw ketchup packages over close to tables full of people we didn't like and the tard would go stomp on them, often covering them in ketchup.
Kek I have a lot of falling asleep in class stories

>Be 8th grade
>get Legend of Zelda:Phantom hourglass
> stay up 48 hours straight playing it
>go to school the third day
>pass out
>2 period block in same class
>teacher realizes I've been sleeping the whole time
>takes the whole class outside really quietly, they all watch me from outside till the bell rings
>wake up, see room is empty, run to door
>the fucker locked it
>everyone outside was dying
>traded in my DS two weeks later

After I graduated I advised my now-12th Grade friends they needed to pool some money buy a cheap sex doll or two, fill them with helium, and unleash them into either the school gym or the school church.

If they did the former, the school might be able to shoot it down quickly with BB guns.

If they do the latter, they can't shoot them down because of stained glass windows near the top, and I don't know how the school would get it down.
That is fantastic. Your teacher sounds awesome. Was that the only punishment?

Public school kid, here.

One teacher in my high school (private Christian place) said he got the class to hide in the next room before one student got back from an errand.

When they did the teacher convinced him the Rapture had occurred and he'd been left behind.

Teacher might have been bullshitting, but the people at my school weren't very bright...
>>be 17
>> fifth grade
>> go with friend up stairs
>> forgot I left him there and leave
>> took a crane to get him out

I went to a private Christian school. There's a big church on campus (general use, not just for the school, but the administration is the same).

Fucking awful place. The only "good" thing about it is the sports program. The education is abysmal; many teachers were just coaches they paid an extra buck to read from textbooks. Everyone there was also a Fundie Christian, so we got "Christian science" courses. Philosophy was especially "fun": it not only told us why every religion but Christianity was wrong, it also told us why everything but the good-ol' American way was wrong.

Also, this >>587208142 happened there; they were all the worst hypocrites you could imagine, preaching and condemning while obviously valuing their sports record above all else.
> girl really liked me
> she wasn't too cute but I was always nice to her
> friend and I are hanging out and he convinces me to call her
> the plan is to call her and ask her to the dance and then shout aomething along the lines of "just kidding" when she accepts
> thankfully she doesn't answer

Holy fuck i was a douchebag. I can't imagine how bad Id feel now if I did that
The girl MIGHT have had a record of getting into trouble. Getting caught screwing might just have been the final straw for her. Or, they could have just been unfair assholes. Remember, it is ALWAYS the girl's fault for however she has sex, because she is expected to be the final guardian of her breeding vault. Men are SUPPOSED to stuff every girl that is dumb enough to let them. (that's the default basic attitudes)
>(that's the default basic attitudes)
you say it likes its wrong?
thats basic biology son
This ones real, friends of mine did it and it got on the news

> high school senior prank
> stack a pyramid of lunch tables on cafeteria roof
> try to stack a security golf cart on the top of it
> golf cart weight distribution is too fucked up to properly lift up there without completely destroying the cart
> friends take out the engine of the golf cart, lift both up separately and then put the engine back in
> be at school next day
> school is pissed as fuck, cafeteria roof is fucked (sinking in or some shit)
> literally takes a crane to get the golf cart down

worst nightmare

Probably. Even so. Terrible place. Didn't prepare any of us for higher education, the effects of which my girlfriend and I are especially feeling now; screwed up the testing of several important state-wide shit; and every part of my education was tainted by the worst fundamentalist stupidity.

If I had any humanity I'd find some way to get an investigation started on that place. I doubt it's even fucking legal to be such a terrible school and I'd love to prevent the mental stunting of anybody else who might go there in the future.
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top kek
>senior year
>lunch time
>me and my bro are throwing mandarin oranges at each other
>run into commons room
>see that faggot throwing an orange so I flip a table with grills lunches on it
>lunches fly everywhere
>grills start to rage
>detention for 2 days
Yeah, he liked to fuck with kids who fell asleep

I got a bit more clever in high school though
>sophomore year
>know a lot of shit about history
> history teacher just uses his position to spout bullshit about how racism and sexism and being white are bad
>gets pissed at me all throughout the second and third unit for sleeping 90% of the time and never doing homework
>gives a test on everything we'd covered so far
> to fuck with him I make it look like I slept through the full test period
>make a big show of "waking up" 5 minutes before the end of class
>he gives me a shit eating grin as I "scramble" to finish
>been sitting there with it done for half an hour
>turn it in a minute before the bell
>come back the next day
>never wakes me up again
stfu nigga
I met up and repeatedly had sex with two guys at once. I of course being the submissive..
>Stab another student with a pencil
>Mfw when it was mechanical
>Mfw it barely scratched him
>Never allowed back into any public schools
>Not learning to control your teenage angst and anger
You're weak

He punched me in the throat, had it in my hand so I took it at him m8
">" Teacher asks me to go fill up her water bottle
">" Take it to the toilet
">" Rub my dick on the bottle
">" Watch her drink it
">" Ayyyyyy lmao
That's interesting.
My friend Keith, who I was telling the stories about earlier in the thread? We met in 7th grade. We were friends then, but not close friends. This one day he just decided he was gonna pick on me. All day. I tried to just laugh along with it, but it was really pissing me off by 5th period.
Bell rings and he somehow stealthily steals my bag or something (I think I was up at the teacher's desk turning something in and he just got the hell out of class). I realize what happened and take off after him, pencil in hand. I catch up to him in a crowded hallway and just start laying into his back and shoulders with the pencil. (and apparently ear he claimed, but I don't remember hitting his ear). I calmed down in 6th period and felt a bit bad after he apologized. We laughed our asses off about it all through high school.

Funny thing, tons of people saw it happen. It was very crowded where I caught up with him. But it happened, and was over, so quickly that no one got in trouble or was even questioned by any faculty or anything.
i broke the dam
I was involved in a fatal two gang fight.
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