ITT Horrible things we done but never told people. > Be me > 7th week of 5th grade > Beta as fuck > sex ed day > bring the teacher a demonstration present from what ive seen watching porn > Wrap it and but it on her desk > ImsuretogetaA+.gif > Teacher comes back from bathroom > Unwraps gift > JesusFuckingChrist.Mp4 > She blames the class clown and accuses him in front of 21 people > Mfw I though I was helping > Mfw I thought Sex ed had demonstrations > Mfw I got someone 4 weeks suspension > Mfw She put it in her purse
>Be me >huge asshole all my life >like to be in control >always paranoid >like to blame others >dont like freedom >have little dick >join the NSA >datamine /b/ and ask people to put up all of their personal information and try to trick them into giving me information regarding other people
>be me >8th art class >learning to draw cartoons >western shit, my animu skills are frowned upon >give 0 fucks about the lesson >draw a bunch of characters reaming/sucking/nutting all over the page >fellow classmates having a good kek >raises suspicion >ohfucknotmoresuspension.png >teacher confiscated >gives new assignment and returns to desk >without letting her know I'm watching see her study page and bite lips >slips into desk >never in trouble
>Be me >Trying on this girl for 2 years >Makes a fake Facebook account named "Tyler Young" >She accepts my friend request >We talk and get closer to each other >She tells me that there are a lot of guys dating her >Give up and deactivate all of my accounts
She never expected that it was her best friend all along. >inb4 we would NEVER be together anyway
>Clogged toilet, nobody but me uses this bathroom >ignored it for two days, no plunger >really have to shit >other bathroom busy >shit in one of my niece's diapers and drop it in the diaper genie >tfw it gets stuck in the hole, have to take the whole bag out to cover up >day 4 panicked about the toilet now >try shoving an extension cord down the drain to snake it >shit covered cord, have to hide it in pile of towels >turn off water valve, let toilet empty >call maintenance, feign ignorance
>>586691667 in this same vein >Start OKcupid account with a pseudonym >find old friend trolling for dick >start talking to her >agree to meet >plan to pretend coincidence meeting when pseudonym flakes on her >she never shows >message to ask why >only person in my state with this name is a convicted 5 time rapist >account banned soon after
>>586688827 >be me >1st grade >beta as fuck >bathroom with some alpha >badboys.mov >alpha is using uranil >think it'd be funny to piss on wall >herewego.jpg >start pissing all over tile wall laughing >feeling alpha as fuck >newfag walks into bathroom >is staring at my penis as I'm trying to draw something in piss >autist starts yelling at me that he's going to tell teacher >I tell him he's stupid and he leaves >alpha kid also leaves >stare at wall and floor covered entirely in piss >fuckyeah.png >woman teacher walks in >wtf boys only >laugh and show her what I did >her face when > >
>/b/ >/b/ me >/b/ 14 >go with my friend to his after school program in another school >grade 5 is the highest lvl of education in this school >wait in the hallway for his class to finish >urge to fap >fap in the boys' bathroom >huge load, can't control where I shoot >be edgy and don't even bother to wipe the cum off the toilet seat >retard walks in with cute teacher's aid >retard sits on my load >he becomes even more retarded when he's trying to get my load off his butt >she cleans my load off his butt and hands >she knew it was me but doesn't say anything >her face is red >she knows it was me....
>be in elementary school >teacher has retarded son >she brings him in since it's bring your retard to work day >it's close to Christmas break >it starts snowing while we're at school >tard is mad that he has to sit around and not play in the snow >teacher encourages tard to play with people >I tell him that I don't want to play when he approached me >I ask to go to the bathroom (to avoid the tard) >teacher asks me to bring tard-son with me and drop him off in the special ed room on my way since he's getting out of hand >say yes >kid is mad that I didn't play with him and that he can't play in snow >pass doors to outside >open them and tell him to go play in the snow >he runs out and the door shuts/locks behind him >cover my bases and go to special ed room to tell them that teacher's son will be there in a sec >go back to class >they find the tard hours later with frostbite >his tongue is stuck to a fucking metal pole >tard wrangler on duty is blamed >mfw I sent a retarded kid out alone into the snow with no way back into the building >mfw it cost someone their job
>>586690260 Just so you know the officials are usually only in the USA or UK so the rest of the world can admit to mass murder or terrorism without fear of being detained without charge for years on end in guantanamo or some other similar type of military prison
>junior high >roped into "gifted program" bullshit despite C/D grades >forced into strictly supervised homework period >one teacher on 3 students, worse than study hall >only kid there this day >teacher goes out for lunch >fap like crazy under tablecloth >bust all over her chair >hugely fat cunt never notices my load all over her ass >mfw
>>586688827 >be 7 years old >Nothing as fuck >Wearing brown itchy shirt and wifebeater >Birthday party of a coudin >8yr young relative there >Anon i saw titanic something something >Go intro kitchen >She flips table and starts kissing me for a long time >mfw i liked it >Instinctually tell her if she wants to kiss my weenis caus it got hard >She accepts >mfw she does it and 2 minutes later uses tongue. >Mfw mom busts us and all they do is laugh >mf 12 yrs later today when she brings it up >Mfw that chick is hot as fuck but annoying as hell >My parents were fucking degenerates man. >I would have at least yelled at my kid.
>be 14 >smoke weed & do E >have 20 year old bf >broke cause we spend all our money on drugs >steal half ounce of weed from dad >steal 200$ worth of change from grandpa >find keys in their rooms & make copies >continue to do so do for three months >get caught >don't remember really getting trouble.
>>586693874 >At Christmas party yesterday >My aunt tells the story of how she was at Dillards with her as a toddler >She grabbed a lipstick tube off of a low shelf and was trying to stick it in her vagina >MFW my cousin starts crying, grabs the nearest bottle of wine and runs out of the room while we all laugh at her
>>586694681 good jab merica for makeing children believe that sex in 5th grade is ok. at least in europoor countries there is absolutely no such thing as sex ed at schools yet somehow children have the moral values to not loose virginity until at least 16 and teen pregnancy is virtually non existant
>>586688827 >be me, 14 or so >live near beach >beach has promenade, upper and lower levels >flood defenses and shit >be on upper prom >bout 15 metres below are a guy with 2 daughters >peering over the sea wall to look at the rough see below >be with 2 friends >they dare me to throw an egg at a bus driver >I wuss out and say I'll throw the egg at those people instead >try to throw the egg over the wall into the sea >don't lose face, don't egg anyone >miss and the egg lands on the wall right next to this guys 2 girls >they falter and nearly fall into the raging sea >would have died 100% >dad grabs her and then chases me and my mates >have to ride miles home cos dude let air out of our bike tyres which he found >coulda be anyone's bike >wasn't
>>586695918 no one fucking believs that you retard inbred europoor they teach them that its basically not ok but just incase to use contraception for stds and pregnancy its like you didnt even go to sex ed you stupid fuck
>bored at school one day >think about something funny to do >friends and I take friend with broken leg to classes >always get out early >all rush to bathroom as broken leg friend can get places fine himself > start flushing as many bottle rockets and m-80s in the toilet as we continuously flush >finish them all off by shoving several roles of toilet paper in the hole as far as we could really quick >hear creaking sounds and pipes bursting > old plumbing goes to shit >run away and meet up with broken leg friend just in time for the bell >no one suspects >entire junior hall is flooding nonstop >school closes for the day and the next few >all nervous >school doesn't know who it is >all laugh >realize now it must have Ben several thousands of dollars to repair and clean up
Got a couple... >when I was 16 I fingered and ate out my girlfriend in a public playground in broad daylight, surrounded by houses >someone is walking by, don't tell my girlfriend, just keep going >he gets really close and then sees what I'm doing, again I just keep going >he smiles, I smile back and then nod my head before resuming eating out dat young high school pussy Also... >girlfriend (same one) gave me a handjob in a fastfood restaurant called Burger Fuel (not sure if you guys have it in the states) and there was a birthday party for young girls happening at the table next to us Last one... >once I reversed into a parked car seriously dented it and also broke off part of it >drove away without telling anyone
>>586691194 >be me >go to party >rufie random drinks >pick up random girl >begin rape >starts to come too while pounding away >beat her over the head until she's out >afterrsex realized I killed her >bury her behind the fire staton>post on /b
>>586698414 I've done that a lot >Forgot parking brake on my first manual car >car rolled out of my spot during school and hit the one behind it >i only have 3 classes so i drive away before the owner found it >tfw some fucker had even taken the spot i rolled out of just yesterday: >pull into only empty parking spot > foot of snow from plowing fills half the spot > hit adjacent car and leave deep gash >fuck moving > run in and grab my prescription and bail ASAP
>be me >be 23 >next year >i'll will be'lle >go to the store one day >bet my friend 20 dollars to go to store one day >bet him to moon the french lady work there >she's really korean >she say after the 2nd time >"why yesterday?" >be 10 years later and i'll still don't know
I stopped going there eventually once I got my car and could drive to the 24 hour grocery
>Getting drunk while house sitting with friend in a 19th century mansion > Really need to piss, friend is using the only bathroom >decide to piss in the mouth of a Black Sambo cookie jar >realize what i did and freak out >instead of dumping it, i crush up saltine crackers and spread them in the bottom of the jar Good thing the owner is a total nutjob, otherwise i'd hate to imagine what the maid thought the next week
>Be me >15 y.o. >With ex girlfriend >bored hanging out behind a warehouse >wrap a disposable lighter in a sheet of paper >set it on fire >drop into a dry bush >standback.gif >whole thing erupts >all the wildlife around me is burning >can't pee >run >see firetruck speed past us >lol
I was like 10 I had some extra hairs growing on my forehead So i shaved, oh fuck i shaved much more and now i have a big part of head without hair, cover it with hair from thw sides >mom takes me to hair salon days later >girl cuts ma hair >mom pays the girl >we leave >moms realize i bave a big part without hair, i blame the girl >moms enter to salon again and yell at girl >girl looks at me and tellsme, tell her u did it!!! >i ignore the girl and mom and me leve >moms angry Fuck i still remember the girls face, she was ashamed mom yelled at her in front of ither girls and her boss
>riding bikes with best friend >jumping off the back and trying to catch them >bike slams right into the door of neighbor's new car >enormous dent >haul ass to garage and push bike behind everyone else's >don't ride again for 6 months just in case
>riding on school bus >thug nigger transplant from the city harassing nerd in the seat across >nerd tells him to fuck off >nigger chimps out and starts beating him >claims to principal that nerd called him a nigger >I'm the only one watching the whole thing, so i tell him it isn't true >thug gets suspended >he's back a week later >nerd kid keeps sitting next to me even when i try to fill the seat with my bag >nigger talking shit to us from the seat behind, whispering in that gap along the windows > turn around and call him a nigger >gets up and starts glaring at me over the seat >sits back down and starts crying quietly only time i called someone other than white folks nigger
>be me >alpha as fuck >7th grade >taking sex ed >alreadysmashingpussy.jpeg >notice beta fag focusing on every word >laugh internally while chatting up some bitch in class >teacher hot as fuck >notice beta put package in her desk >mfw it was a dildo >mfw i got blamed >mfw teacher kept dildo >teacher has private meeting to discuss dildo >tells me she wants me >fuckyea.jpeg >fuck teacher rest of the year and pass the class >shitwassocash.jpeg >alpha as fuck
I raped my little sister and stole her cherry. She was 13 and I was 16. We would "fool around" a lot and we did for years, but she didn't want to be penetrated. Well, she was letting me rub my dick on her pussy lips so I shoved it in and started fucking her hard, she was freaking the fuck out but lucky for her I only lasted like a minute.
We never did any more fooling around but I don't believe anyone knows at least.
>taking care of invalid mother for a month >tells me to take her rent check, in envelope on the table >get high first >grab envelope and take it to office >closed, so i drop it through the mail slot >get back and notice another envelope on the table >RENT written on the front of it >apparently the other envelope contained me and my sibling's baby teeth >it also said BABY TEETH on the back, if i had bothered looked >TFW some poor secretary found an envelope of baby teeth the next morning
>8th grade shit head >Draw Swastikas in Schedule book, no fucks given >Jewish teacher notices... SHIT STORM IS BREWING >Takes me out of classroom without a word. I am playing dumb, as if I have no idea why. >Drags me into an empty classroom and slams the door >SHIT STORM RELEASED! >ANON HOW DARE YOU! THE NAZIS WERE BAD PEOPLE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS SYMBOL MEANS! THEY KILLED MY PEOPLE! MY FAMILY! BLAH BLAH BLAH >I sat there pretended to be scared, but hatching an amazing plan in my head. >ANON WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!? >me: "Clearly you haven't learned what the true meaning behind that symbol is and you are to focused on being a fucking bitch all the time!" (Never liked this teacher, she was always a cunt to everyone) >me: "I know it as the symbol of peace. Used by Buddhists and Hindus a like. How dare you accuse me of drawing the symbol of the Nazi's. I am Offended! You have insulted me and my religion!" (My family is Christian, I could care less about church or got at the time) >me: "The Nazi party adopted the symbol because they believed what they were doing was right. To bring Peace to the world. Even if that meant killing millions of Jews." >Here face was priceless >missioncomplete.jpeg >She pulled me down to the principles office >I told the principle what happened, completely lying my face off. >I Told the principle that "she was screaming at me. Swearing at me, calling me names. I was drawing the symbol of peace, used by my religion." >Teacher calls my Parents, knows I am lying. >Principle is getting uppity with me, telling me I am a terrible person. >Mom comes to school >Principle and Teacher shows he drawings >With out a hitch, my mom goes "What? They are the Symbol of peace" Used by our religion for hundreds of years. >Teacher leaves room ranting and raving >Principle apologizes to my mother >Mom pulls me from school >Next day. >Teacher quit. Never came back. >Nobody knows what happened >Mom and I joke about it for years
> Be me, six or seven years old > At school > School has a worm farm that the students tend to on a roster (grew up in the country) > Worm farm has been suffering severe rat problem > Me and one other student are sent down unsupervised to tend to farm > Don't remember what for but we have shovels > Convince other student that our teacher had commissioned us to find and murder rats with blade of shovels > Student believes me for some reason and we start coaxing the rats out of hiding and cutting their heads off with shovels > Spend a log time doing it > Eventually get called back to class - teacher annoyed that we took so long > Student never said anything to the teacher and no one asked us about the rat corpses > Hadn't thought about it until a year or so ago (and now in early twenties) > Only occurred to me then that it was probably an unusual thing for me to do > Wonder if I traumatized kid
>Be 12 years old >Went to a chain Elementary/Middle school >Everyone knows be because Aunt worked at Elementary >Have a back problem and allowed to chill in the teachers lounge whenever I want >Get a hard on >Masturbate in teachers lounge >Jizz all over >Doesn't clean it up
Turns out there was a video camera in there, and I still feel alpha as fuck for doing it. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
ruined my bestfriends life > this child was a good kid > he is 2 years younger than me > going through school i started smoking (cigs and pot) >he wants to try, i say what can go wrong >he ends up trying meth >he started constantly stealing shit from his parents > a year goes past, he lives in a youth program/homeless shelter >he hates my guts cause me and my friends made him smoke pubes once and some girl tricked him into believing that she will take his virginity (he isnt that attractive, he has some height tho) blames me >blames me for everything i have more if you want to here
>be me >be 14 >hanging with 12 year old younger neighbour and his beta friend >we decide we are hungry and want food >walk down variety store >tell them i have shoplifted off the place many times, even some skinmags >neighbours beta friend doesn't believe me\ >go inside store >totalcasualface.jpg >slip some candy or shit into pocket >"NO WAY" says beta fag > I say its easy >he says he wants to try it >DO IT FAGGOT >slips candy right in pocket right in front of cashier >we all pay for something to make it look like we are nig robbers > we leave store >bitch asian cashier lady comes out store chasing beta kid and calls him out on stealing >beta kid is beta and breaks >asian lady threatens to call cops on all of us >did some negotiating, made beta kid pay for stolen thing and called his dad >tfw you dont get caught but some other kid does
>be me >go to high school >every parking spot filled >roll into tight as fuck parking spot on high school grounds >hit car next to me, leave a huge scratch that's like a foot long >senior year, i get out at 4th hour instead of 6th because i didnt have any classes after that unlike other people >say nothing
>A few days later talking to a friend
>Him:"Yeah man some people at this school can be assholes and hit your car and stuff" >Me:"ikr man" >MFW I hit his car
one time at school > im like 5'2 no joke im a short cunt only like 5'5 now >wogs start picking on me cause im sticking up for my quiet friend (hes from el salvador and literally never speaks a word only talks to me) >we had to do a task that had to something with scissors >i walk up to there table keep asking them what they are going to do if i dont stop telling them to shut up >big wog says he will bash my head in >i pick up his scissors and reverse them (blades facing outside) >he doesnt realize and grabs on to the blades >i make sure hes holding on tight by tugging on them a bit, they dont move >i ask him let go of the scissors or you will feel the wrath of dobby (dobby was my nick name cause i had big ears and was small) >he laughs and spits on me >i rip the scissors out of his hand with a power level of over 9000 >he stands up, stares at his hand and starts screaming, blood everywhere like no joke a huge fucking pool >i ran over to the teacher told him the situation flipped the story a bit >ended up getting no punishment execpt writing a apology letter to the parents for the hospital bill >find out he was a pro tennis player.. he no longer plays tennis and never has since > he went on to become a dj and pretends he is cool with me >from that day on everyone thought i was a psychopath
>be me road worker >fill up some bridge weightcubes with cement > young boy find it funny to jump into wet cement > cant get out > only his baseballcap is floating on the surface >mfw just remove the cap and let the shit dry out for 3 days
>be me in 6th grade >had a fat whale in class >she always sat alone >every day me and muh boys were teasing her >we either put tacks on her seat or sat next to her waited for the apeshitting to commence >every now and then, during recesses she tried to catch us >too fat >too slow.. >mfw 7th grade >mfw she's not around >mfw in 8th grade we found out she went into hospital for an year and had several knee surgeries
>be me, 5th grade >class clown most of my life >come into sex ed class >crazy bitch flips out over shit put in her purse, blames me >ididntdonuffin.png >teacher doesn't buy it, end up getting suspended for 4 weeks >cut myself today over it
> Be me, incredible beta > Have huge crush on a grill > She's realistic, not too hot, not too homely > She's always trying to talk to me, ask me questions like how is your day going, what are you doing after work. > I ask why she's asking me that > This continues for 3 fucking months > She tells me she likes me > "You too." and go back to doing my job, we work in different departments > FF to current day > She has a boyfriend now, fat as fuck > MFW I realized she likes me > MFW I realized she talked to me because she liked me > MFW I don't have a face.
>be 12 or so >neighbour's kid is around 3 >several times i had to babysit >little cunt couldn't stop crying >tried toys, noises, faces, movement...nothing helped >put tiny weewee out >she smiles >IT WORKS >start moving it around >she stopped crying >put penis back, start playing with toys
we had to go trough this procedure every fucking time
now she's around 17, 9/10..not sure if she remembers
>>586688827 Is anyone else sick of these bullshit stories anons post from like kindergarten-8th grade? Those aren't stories. They're childish shit. There's no major consequences and nobody gives a fuck about what some 10 year old did. I'm sorry anon that nothing interesting has happened to you since preschool. But get some real stories or shut the fuck up!
>guy at work i didnt like > stole his wallet from his locker > went to local hells angels chapter > cut off 5 bike wheels and slit open 2 leather seats at night > leave his wallet there > mfw after 5 days hes gone and no one knows where he is
>>586721017 Aww man, I got suspended in 5th grade. That shit totally went on my permanent record and is totally relevant to who I am. Surely everyone looks down on me and not my parents for an incident that happened when I was 10 FUCKING YEARS OLD!
Seriously, this faggot starts a "horrible things you did to others" thread with a story about 10 year olds. That's gay as fuck. I guarentee that other kid doesn't give 2 shits about his faggy ass story.
>be 22 >decide to out and get drunk with buddies >walk out of home >see ppl gathered around something on the street >everyone is shocked >fat lady was lying on the ground, dying >some ppl were preforming cpr >i wanted to take my phone and record everything, but would probably get beaten from others >fat cunt's head got blue >she grunted like a boar >she's kill >imma blow out of laughter >ppl are devastated and crying >use super power to hold lulz inside me >mfw i was late for my buds >gtg, lol, gg
I'm still angry of not being able to put out my phone and film her kill.
>be me >best friend breaks up with his gf >hates her >gives me $15 for a keylogger so he can hack her fb >i make the keylogger >he uses it >it works >he's scrolling through her messages >finds nude >i log in and set it as her instagram profile pic cus why not lol >her father sees it >she's now banned from using social media lmao
>>586719739 >be me, sweet ass dildo >Niggernator 2000 XXX Destroyer Class Limited Edition >some beta cunt buys me >wraps me up fuck >puts me on teacher's table >teacher flips upside down >blames class clown >later she stuck me in her muff
>in grade 2 >draw dicks in all of the "Where's Waldo" books in the school library >I have no idea why, maybe just for the thrill of knowing I'm doing something bad >whenever I do so, the school buys a new copy >they know it's the same person because I only target Waldo >after 7 or 8 destroyed Waldo dick books, they begin putting them in a special, supervised section of the library on a bench >no one was allowed to carry them off and an old librarian bitch kept her eyes on them 24/7 >mom and dad are out of town for an evening so I hatch my master plan >after class is over, I go to the back of the library and hide in a cabinet playing my gameboy color until the school closes >fast forward 4 hours >it's the evening, I'm walking around the library, not a soul in sight >walk over to the "Where's Waldo" podium where a stack of 10 books is sitting, untouched and ready to be defiled >spend the next 3 hours drawing dicks all over them >put them back in place >unlock the doors and walk out of the school, go home on the biggest high ever >felt like a secret agent / gangster / rebel >the next day an assembly is held and the principal talks to everyone about vandalism and the books >the school ended up spending a ton of money and installed 20 cameras around the school to catch anyone breaking in >I had already won, the damage had already been done
Not really that horrible but was pretty funny >Just got off a flight from America to Australia >lining up for customs >Over hear the lady in front of me talking to the customs officer > "Hello ma'm do you have any convictions?" > "Oh i didn't know that was still a thing here in Australia" >Ohshityoufuckedup.webm >Australia officer isn't happy about this and takes her to be stripped searched
>Be me >13 years old >Always been a sadistic cunt >Used to chase my siblings around with a fucking hammer >Made them do random tasks >One day family's over >Make my youngest sister piss herself on he carpet >laugh my ass off >mom comes up, takes us to the bedroom >whatthefuckwasthat.png >sister says she couldn't hold it >I told her I'd kill her if she ever tells anyone >Mfw no regrets >Mfw it continued until I was 17 >Mfw we are the closest siblings the world has ever seen
>>586698103 > be me in middle school >would catch lizards >burn pool noodles and encase them in the dripping melted plastic >also beat one of our puppies till she literally shit her self >was an everyday routine until we moved >definitely a sociopath >why i joined the military
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