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Share your dissapointing sex stories. >Be me, meet this girl

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 231
Thread images: 29

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Share your dissapointing sex stories.

>Be me, meet this girl via tinder
>She seems to have a great ass and nice legs
>Seem pretty hot to me
>She get's kinda scared when I straight tell her I just want to fuck her
>Meet her twice again in the following month, nothing happens, she even refuses to let me kiss her
>It's obvious she craves my dick
>she admits she wants me to fuck her, but she's afraid half our town will know the next morning
>She tells me once as a random comment she likes to do it with the lights off and only like that
>Meet her again, after I ignore her because of a tantrum she threw at me
>Finnally kiss her, we hit the motel because she's afraid my parents will wake up to us fucking
>She takes a shower, and calls me in, while she's under the blankets
>tells me to shut the lights off
>im like...sigh...ok
>we start making out...
>feel her boobs, SAGGY AS FUCK
>feel her ass, SAGGY AS FUCK
>omfg...start fucking her...In the shadows i still can notice lots of loose skin around her waist...
>Loose my boner, pull out, she starts sucking my dick
>After a minute I tell her to stop, if it hasn't happened it wont
>I blame the antidepressants for me not coming
>Drive her to her car
>While driving, realise why it was so important to her for me to be someone she could trust
>We arrive at her car, she kisses me and smiles all happy
>Feels bad man...

Only good thing i got out of this is I got to convince a girl with serious sex confidence issues into fucking. For me it's kind of like, convincing one of those "I wont fuck until marriage" kind of girls.
Share your shitty sex stories
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I wont ever call her again
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Give me a sec to type one up bump to keep thread alive
>be me
>no sex
>feels bad man
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sums up my life pretty well
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Bumping while you guys type
those are the easiest girls to fuck...

so she faked having a great ass and tits. it was a lie from the start you shouldnt feel bad. 26 anon here. you will learn that girls will do anything once you get in there head just girls can get guys. if you sent her a pic that shows a huge junk and she finds out it was small you think she would feel sad lol no she would cut you off and make fun of you to her friends. just go on to the next one...

but my story....its pretty generic too. had this 7 and would drive to come and bang out and one time she comes on her period...i find out as we are making out and im like dammit....so im like well give me head and shes like i just want to lay here with you....lol so i said im ok i rather not so after a bit she left. such a disapointment even after she was the one who wanted to be fwb smh
they're also the craziest. its not worth it.

OP I've been there but you gotta learn to figure out when a girl's lost weight, before the clothes come off
i agree and disagree....not OP but some girls are kinda messed up in the head over there confidence some take days and some weeks.its not like i buy them stuff you just got to build that comfort zone.
>have a pretty 17 y/o gf
>sex with her is great as fuck
>superdrunk night end up doin cocaine with friends home
>a friend of mine calls me after bar and was doing coke, she wants to come here with us
>keep doin cocaine til 6 am everyone gone
> she stays and is all like''kiss me i know u want to even if u have a gf ''
>kiss her, make out, touch and shit, both horny as fuck
>she starts sucking me off but it doenst work ehh w/e
i eat her out, she wants the D so hard
>ol' willie doesnt wanna wake up, too much cocaine ffs
>cheated on my gf for nothing feelsbad.jpg
>go see her the next day with nails mark on the chest and neck
>tells her its my friends cat. dump her for chrismas
this is also true..

OP: she was a peace of ass.. you said it yourself.. you wanted to fuck.. she knew the drill. You were up-front.. Look at it this way.. would you have preferred to jerk-off instead.. if the answer is yes.. she's the ex-fatty cunt you'll never talk to again.. if the answer is no.. she's the ex-fatty cunt you fucked one time and you'll never talk to again
>fucking at a remote location
>middle of nowhere kind of place
>Suddenly some fag in a truck shows up.
>Leave, then notice the fag is following us.
>Stop at gas station and confront him
>He has a boner
Fucking meth heads always ruin everything.
>be me 15 years old
>hot 8/8 school babe and i want the ass
>only problem is im fat as fucking shit
>one day at lunch i muster up some courage to go and talk to her
>Notice she has a doctor who lunch bag
>"H-h-hey, i s-s-see you like D-d-doctor W-who..."
>She says hey then starts blabbering on about doctor who shit
>dont watch that faggot show so i dont give a fuck
>start staring at her nice perky tits
>she notices
>she just laughs it off and asks me if i want to hang out some time and maybe watch the show at her place
>i hop on the opportunity and we make a date
>be a week later and i go to her house
>when she opens the door i can see that her place is a fucking mess, trash and shit everywhere
>her dad comes in the room and starts giving her shit about how i cant have boys over on school days and what not
>she flips him off (actually flips her dad off) and then takes my hand and leads me to her room
>im sitting on her bed and she says "I notice you were staring at my tits at lunch last week Anon"

More in a bit let me type, keep bumping
I didn't say the fastest.. I said the easiest.. Personally I have a "set" I run which builds and uses their emotion and excitement to expedite things.. I can't remember the last time I didn't fuck a girl within mins-to-hours of deciding I wanted to... However.. You get the odd ex-fatty in there that makes you wonder... was it really worth it. To negate their crazy.. I simply don't reveal much about myself.. aside from some minor truths for trust building...

Fake story sucks shit
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OP here, here's another story:

>Go to the club with my gf
>Drunk as fuck
>Meet a friend of hers and his gf
>she flirts with me, asks for my facebook
>she adds me, we agree on meeting on my apartment on saturday
>I leave my computer on at nights because I was botting on tibia (I know, shut the fuck up)
>So, it's saturday morning, around 10 am, phone rings...FUCK, Im still tired.
>Get out of bed and start looking for the phone
>Walk over to the living room, trip on the fucking laptop cable, it hits the floor, everybody walks the dinosaur.
>JK JK, no but really, it fucking hits the floor and the screen is broken. THE FUCKING PHONE KEEPS RINGING.
>I turn it on
>Please palsepaselpaselapslepas, work, i don't care if the screen is broken, my parents wont buy me a new computer any time soon, so you have to work.
>It works.
>I finnaly pick up the phone, it's her, she's around the corner walking to my apt
>I go outside and see a girl walking towards me with wearing sweatpants.
>It's her...I must've been very drunk that night, because she isnt at all as I remember. Also, no make up. Looks like she just got out of the gym
>Sigh...Ok, let's do this quick so she leaves sooner.
>She comes in, starts talking out of her elbows and takes a shitton of pictures of me
>We start making out, her boobs, are strange as fuck... like giant nipples but still tiny boobs, they look awful.
>Pull her sweatpants off...JE-SUS-FUCKING-H-CHRIST
>I like bushy pussy, but this shit is ridiculous, its the fucking amazonas down there.
>She keeps kissing me all excited
>Suddenly...I feel it... IT SMELLED LIKE, fuck, i can't even describe it properlly, it smelled like a fucking garbage truck just parked on my room
>Seriously, it was unbearable
>I do the manly thing, and decide i must fuck her fast and be done with it
>about 30 secs later I realise it's fucking imposible, im on the verge of puking on my own bed.
>she actually even dares to ask for an oral

>meet super hot girl when I'm 17, she's 15
>she's 5'2", skinny with a decent ass, triple Ds, big gauges, and she's pale with dark hair, perfection.
>get excited because she seems to go out of her way to talk to me
>2 weeks later she suddenly talks less and less
>find out she's dating my best friend now
>they date for a while, I turn 18 and move out and don't talk to either of them anymore
>3 years later she starts talking to me again out of the blue
>less than a week into it she announces that she is super horny and wants to come over and fuck me
>fuck yes
>but she just got her period
>fuck no
>we hang out and I play with her tits, make out and stuff while watching movies
>this continues for one long week
>finally the day comes where we get to fuck
>she comes over, decides to get drunk, and I have a few beers as well
>she's fucking wasted after like 4 drinks
>I'm trying not to rush things because I actually really like her, I've wanted to fuck her for years but I'm being patient
>I'm gathering my thoughts and staring at her ass, thinking about going into the bathroom and rubbing one out really quick
>she rolls over and says "are you going to fuck me or what?"
>well if you insist



Sounds like you are describing a younger and smaller version of someone I knew name Ashley
Fuck you OP, i'd be happy to fuck a fatty at this point, my currently g/f has deprived me of sex for about 3 months now after a drunken argument where i threatened to break out her car windows, haven't drank since then, still no sex
every tinder girl ive fucked has something wrong with them. One girl was bipolar or some shit, another was fully slut like fucked her straight up after meet pretty much. Weird that most of them seem to be from england (melb, australia fag here)
ahhh i see. yea i also have my 'set'. i tend to go for the trust before the excitement, we all have our ways. i do it that way because once they trust they always want to hang out which is within a day. ive had my share of crazy, and to me i rather not have messed with those lol....once crazy chick revealed to me she actually had a bf which im not scared but i dont do break ppl up and then she wanted to move in with me and dump her bf and some other crazy shit and all in about of month of banging her
>Be me 16 year old nerd about to have 1st time.
>Have above average size penis ~8in
>Girlfriend is really tiny and tight, can barely fit 2 fingers in.
>She demands I put my dick in her after we party
>She climbs on top of me and straddles me.
>Lubes up dick, begins to get closer to Vag
>Put dick in her, pop her cherry
>She screeches like a banchee, jumps off Dick
>Blames me for pressuring her into sex
>Imb4 she pressured me
>Imb4 I warned her it would hurt.
>Imb4 broke up with her becasue she was afraid of my dick after that night

Break up with her you weak willed limpdick
I love her though
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>I crawl out of bed and proceed to take a very long shower
>when i come out she's still there
>she bought me a box of chocolates
>Out of pity I take her for some sushi
>Come back to my apt, delete her from facebook. We will never cross words again.
>A few weeks later my gf tells me, his friend was devastated because he saw the pics she took of me, and he immediatly knew
>My gf told me, his friend was virgin before this girl, and was actually super in love with her
>They broke up, actually she dumped him because he was crying and bitching to her for cheating on him
>He's a wreck of depression
>I fuck my gf and lick on her sweet pussy.
>She tells me she loves me, but I should stop just fucking girls just because

>I get naked, she gets naked
>her body is just perfect. tight, bald little pussy, huge tits with cute little nipples
>she licks her hand, grabs my dick and says "no foreplay, just fuck me"
>I throw her on my back, shove my dick in her and start going
>about 30 seconds I realize I'm about to cum already because the anticipation had me so worked up
>shit I need to stall
>I ask if she wants me to put on a condom
>she says there's no point, we've already started
>I say I'm going to put one on anyway, stand up and walk across the room to get one
>she's starting to look annoyed
>I put on a condom, get back on top of her, start fucking her again
>slowly and shamefully, I blow my load less than a minute later
>she says its okay, don't feel bad, etc.
>we lay there naked for a little while in an awkward silence and watch the rest of the movie that was playing
>she says she needs me to take her home, she's too drunk to drive herself
>about halfway to her house she starts puking all over my $50k truck
>apologize the next day, say that had never happened before, which was true
>she says its okay and we can try again but she doesn't seem as into me as she did
>we kind of text for another week or so, and then it just stops
>that was 4 years ago, have not spoken again since

if I would have just gone into the bathroom and jerked off first... that never would have happened, she would have stayed the night like she planned and not thrown up all over my truck, and we would have gotten married and lived happily ever. if I had just masturbated.

Lost cause

no, not Ashley. her name starts with an L.
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had something similar happen to me twice.
shit fucks up your self confidence
I know it's not lorissa's fat ass plus she has small tits

throw her on her back*

that would have greatly changed many things if I had thrown her on my back.
>gf never swallows
>the end

>50k truck
>doesn't post name of truck
you ruined it m8
me last month
drunk as fuck in a club in Osaka
older chick starts grinding on me
we dance for a bit. both drunk
I ask if she wants to go to a hotel
head to hotel
start making out she starts suckin me off
tell her to lay in bed I'm going to toilet
take 100mg Viagra pill
head back, start fingering her
she's loving it
waiting for Viagra to kick in
......chest pains start
wtf feel like I'm having a heart attack
extremely sore head, hearts beating weird
dicks still soft
she sits on my face while I lay there dying
pass out for 14 hours
wake up, she's gone
left her pants and her email
check out. bill is fucking 260,000 yen
Yeah, you're right about that. Fuck it.
Any tips on how to notice that?
I have a girl in college we have an open relationship. We take pictures of the people we fuck because it turns us on to see each other with other people. Her tight little asian body getting hammered by some giant dick or my giant dick destroying some tight girl in one of the classes we take together. We are trying to get her friend to do a threesome with us. I'm excited :3

lol, I was 21 then. it was a 2011 Ram Laramie Longhorn Cummins.
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>Went to party at girl's house
>Talking to girl because I turned 18 at the time
>Tons of drunk people
>Incredibly sober
>Started playing with butterfly knife because fuck it
>Sliced my finger open to the bone
>Wrapped it up right to stop bleeding
>Few hours later everyone left
>Was staying there
>Had sex
>Grabs dick
>Blood on it
>Wash it off
>Go to sleep
>Get stitches next morning
That's actually kind of scary
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fake and gay
>i say "well y-yeah i mean youre pretty attractive and all, you have nice breasts"
>she laughs thanks me and then says she will be right back
>looking around her room
>there are shit stains and old beer bottles and fucking roaches and things
>look over at trash can beside her bed and notice that its filled with used bloody tampons
>look closer and i see a fucking condom
>she comes back in the ugliest white trash nascar onesie ive ever seen
>she lays me down on her bed and pulls down my pants
>palms are sweating spaghetti knowing im about to get my first blowjob
>rock hard like a fucking onix made of diamond
>she touches my dick with one finger and suddenly my dick deflates like a balloon
>im so nervous and the smell of her room is seriously turning me off
>she tries to suck me off and get me hard for like 5 mins
>ends up giving up and asking if i can go down on her
>she says its okay and that ill catch on
>whatever it cant be that hard
>she takes off her pantys and i see my first pussy
>fucking aweful
>she had an amazonian bush down there and she was on her period
>shit was crusted with white shit and bloody puss everywhere
>decide i cant back down so i go down
>literally threw up the second i smelled it
>i threw up all over her bed sheets and on her stomach
>her dad comes in and asks what that noise was
>sees me on his daughters bed with vomit everywhere
>runs to the living room and grabs a louisville slugger
>i pick myself up and haul my 200 pound ass out of that house pantless with vomit all down my shirt
>call mom and she picks me up
>grounded for 2 months
>got herpes on my lips and treated it for years
>worst sex experience of my life

That was basically it, she went crazy and told everyone at school that i tossed on her but it didnt matter, everyone knew she had herpes so we were equal.
lay on bed. ask for sex. she sais she is too tired or some bullshit fag excuse like that. i take my clothes off and start masturbating while she watches scarface on my tv. she puts her hand on my arm to feel my jerkoff-muscles move.
so she basically holds my hand while i masturbate. like, hold hands in the way a mom holds her kids hand when he learns to ride a bike.
I'm from Texas; both my gf and I always carry, and that night was no exception. If shit had gotten real we would have shot the nigga
OP claiming ID
You are such a bitter faggot.
How the fuck could she fake having a nice ass? If someone is a hambeast and loses all the weight, chances are they look good in pants. It will make the ass look firm.
Don't start projecting your bullshit hatred for WIMMIN on everything, it's emberassing.
>I leave my computer on at nights because I was botting on tibia

ma nigga I lost around 20 lvl 11 druid accounts to gay admins
nascar onesie
not greentext lol didnt read nice dubs
anon wasn't worthy of them though
well, you kinda deserve it for being a psycho
also, i'm not happy fucking a fatty or a saggy girl because I can get laid with other girls often enough
>go see hot as fuck cougar nurse I'm trying to get with
>finally invites me over to her place
>goes to the bathroom to freshen up before sex
>be me...so excited
>peek in her drawer for condom...see valtrex
Dodged a bullet there!
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on my phone, too much of a pain green texting
>the truth

You got dark room switched you fucking idiot.


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hyahahaha, when i read it, i was tempted on drawing a guy with a furious boner throwing a girl over his back
lol you mad? i have no hatred. i know a good amount of wimmin and they like me too so fuck off you whale
(Really disappointed tho...obv)
>Be 18
>Go out with my friend's redhead sister
>Flat chested, glasses. Cute in a nerdy way.
>Go out for 4 months, never go past fingering her because of her religion or some shit
>Close friend of ours kills herself
>We break up because we're both depressed as shit

4 years later

>Be 22
>Come back home for Thanksgiving
>She's in town. We decide to meet up for old time's sake.
>We talk about why we broke up, old emotions come up, we end up making out
>She says she needs someone to drive her back to college after Thanksgiving
>I drive her back to college. Fucking 4 hour drive.
>Doesn't matter, getting laid
>We go to her dorm room
>Make out, clothes off
>Only my second time having sex. I still don't have a clue what I'm doing, so I tell her to be on top
>She has no idea what she's doing either. Awkward movements. Neither of us enjoying ourselves. So we switch to me on top
>She makes no noises and shows no enthusiasm whatsoever. 8 in dick, so she should be feeling SOMETHING.
>Go soft during. Would be nice if she seemed like she was enjoying herself AT ALL.
>We stop because I can't get off and she gets bored.
>Get takeout food, drive home afterwards. Another fucking 4 hour drive.
>Not fucking worth it.

Worst sex experience of my life, haven't even tried to have sex since.
lmao! i was thinking he bent his dong to bang her on his back haha
asegaghagahahah, best worst sex story ever
my last ex was the most boring lay i have ever had

she was cute, but she was boring in bed
nothing but missionary (which is fine but not all the time ffs)
cant do any other position because my dick is too big for her
she was like 5'4 petite, super tight but also shallow vag
couldnt fuck doggie style
couldnt fuck with her on top
couldnt fuck in ant position at all except good old missionary

and to make things worse, my girlfriend i had before her was loads of fun
would fuck her brains out in all sorts of crazy positions
choke her while plowing her from behind (best sex ever)

so to go from that to boring as hell was a disappointment

another thing that really disappointed me is that i have a piss fetish
she knew about it, i would watch her piss occasionally
i had told her a few times that i wanted to do cowgirl style and have her piss on me while riding my dick
one day she finally tells me she will
excited as fuck
ends up telling me she was "just kidding" next time we were bout to fuck

she was a sweetheart and very cute but good lord, i couldnt handle it
glad she moved away so we could break up without me feeling too bad
>Date this 7/10 girl
>Get mad drunk together
>Start fucking her as usual
>She falls asleep midway
>She cries rape
>Lose friends, family, work, etc.
>Didn't even come.
op what u should learn from this is newer insist when a girl answers with NO to sex something must be rong...also don't be a pushy fago
sucksssss....dont you look at porn lol learn some moves man, atleast the basic missionarry and doggy lol
b<bhajajajajjahahah me too!!
Wasn't even worth getting her off. She got pregnant at her dorm's Christmas party after we fucked and tried to say I was the one who got her pregnant. Wasn't until I took her to her first ultrasound that I saw the kid was a few weeks older than when we fucked and she was just a lying cunt.

She still filed through the state for me to get a paternity test. Was negative.

I wasnt pushy
I was honest with her, I just wanted sex
She was the one who came back looking for me, so I fucked her.
>Didn't even come
Saddest part

>be 18
>hanging out at female friends' house
>have hots for her 9/10 15yo sister, but she's got a boyfriend
>boyfriend not to be trifled with
>local indian chief's son, runs with tough crowd
>girl freaking out because boyfriend getting ready to move to texas
>tells him she's pregnant
>she's not
>whole tribe gets excited, thinks chief is going to get first grandchild
>she's scheduled to go to indian clinic for a pregnancy test
>she's freaking out
>wants to get pregnant
>boyfriend won't have sex with her because he doesn't want to hurt baby (yeah, I dunno either)
>she gets idea to have sex with me and get pregnant
>"but you kinda look like him!"
>I have blue eyes. Her and boyfriend have brown. Ain't gonna work if kid comes out with blue eyes.
>sit around talking for a while
>get tired, go lie down in camper behind house
>she comes out, wakes me up, starts dry-humping me
>titties come out, small but fucking perfect
>brain turns off
>start suckin' the titties, rubbing around on her
>she doesn't want to kiss because she feels weird about it
>get her naked
>she doesn't move
>blow load after a while
>get off her
>never have sex with her again

She's the hottest girl I ever fucked, but the worst lay.
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bummer, well at least you fuck her.
Did you get her preggos tho? is the baby born yet?

Naw, no preggo, her boyfriend found out anyway but fortunately he was cool about it.

That was twenty years ago. Ran into her again about five years ago and she's still a hottie.
Native or alibaba?
dude i got something closeto that ...was at my cousins house in beed sleeping same roon she jumps in my bed starts feeling me up i realyze whe wants the D ....i knew she was messin around with multiple boys so i tell her to stop my head hurt ....after few months comes crying to my mom cu she needs an abortion cus got "raped" dat moment i realyzed if i let her sex meshe would of blame it on me....first time im glad i dint had sex true story

Native American, if that's what you mean.

I'm in Oklahoma. We've got three tribes headquartered within twenty miles of me. Gold paint sells quickly here.
so your cousin tried to frame you? or a gf?
i wana fuck a pcoahontas lol
>be 17, senior year in HS
>gf never gets to go out anywhere, dated her for roughly a year.
>most I saw at the time was her perfect big tits.
>go to her house, hangout in bench in front.
>start kissing, lay her on bench tear.
>mfw I remember I haven't fapped in 2 weeks.
>go for it anyway.
>gf is virgin.
>tear open the leggings she's wearing, stick dick in her.
>so wet it slides right in.
>jizz in like 5 seconds, all over the inside of my pants.
>stain all down my legs that's noticeable even in black jeans.
Later on, found out apparently someone saw us having sex. Last time her parents let me see her.
Was just making sure. Some of the Indians/Pakistanis I know have "tribal chiefs" which is where they head to for prays and all that shindig. Went to one of actually. Wasn't allowed in because I'm white. Rofl
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fuck yes, me too hahahaha
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>be me
>be the past week or so
>fucking my fiance solid 8/10 every day for the past week
>only came once out of the 7 times
>sex is amazing, she is amazing
>I don't know what's wrong with me
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Who doesn't

Have fun with that. I can say I've never had the urge.


I wouldn't mind fucking a girl from India. We've got a few around here and some of 'em are cute as fuck.
>worst sex
>girl name chanda
>yeah fucking CHANDA
>like a solid 6 bit chubby but had massive tits
>met her in church when i was a massive faggot
>told me she was a goody goody
>she got it in her head that i was an actual massive faggot and needed to prove to me that i was straight...
>i have no problems with this
>she brings me home after our youth group telling me that her mom wasnt going to be home for a few hours
>go upstairs get naked
>find out she is a bit more than chubby
>Ahoy, holy fucking shit ahoy
>girl wears 3 of those make you look skinnier things
>great head
>i had only had sex 3 times before this so i really had zero fucking clue
>gets on top of me
>door slams open and her mother walks right in
>"not again chanda"
>"you know the rules"
>her mother just fucking stood there while her daughter was riding me
>inb4 did you fuck mom
>almost about to cum
>"do you love my daughter?"
>no she wanted to turn me straight
>bitch gets off of me and finishes me with her mouth
>her mom then drove me home telling me it was ok to be gay and i should let a girl force herself on me

>had a 3 hour long talk with my mother
>girls mom leaves
>mom shuts the door and busts out laughing
I wish this would happen to me. I would've fucked even harder having the mom in front, I wouldn't give a shit if she was chubby or not. I always imagined one of my ex's moms just walking in and staring as I had sex with their daughters.
I have a very similar story to this, except I had the opposite problem. I couldn't cum (I never do from just sex). She thought it meant I didn't really like her. Couldn't convince her otherwise.

I had a five year dry spell once.

If you're a guy and out of your teens, sex doesn't just come naturally. You no longer have the hormones for it. You need to do it a while before your body gets used to it again.

So don't give up just because you had a bad experience. Once your body figures out what you're trying to do it'll rise to the occasion.
nah man her mom was fucking hideous.
like straight up fucking ridiculously hideous
dammit anon green text your stories, you green text by putting one of these >in before typing
>260000 yen
fuking bitch...

1 out of four adults has genital herpes. Most just don't show symptoms (and don't even realize they have it).

If you do have symptoms... it sucks, trust me.
So they all just have Stockholm syndrome?
Even then, it would be more like just the idea of it, I wouldn't stare at the mom if she was hideous but the idea that it's going on is what would get me off.
yup she is my cousin ...i newer told my mom when she told me she came to her....should of i?
she had the abortion.

i think that's what she was trying to do i don't see the point of sneaking in my bed in the middle of the night
>1 out of four adults has genital herpes. Most just don't show symptoms (and don't even realize they have it).

stay away from nigger women and you should be fine for the most part. 80% of blacks have herpes
try some kinky stuff, new things, fuck in public. something else to get the juices going and dont think about it....most of the times its mental. just have fun with it.


nah dont say anything, yea she was it makes sense. o well good save lol
I found out I had it not so long ago and I never showed any symptoms. The only time I remember showing something was when I had cut under my lip and a massive cold sore formed. Worst shit about it, I was a 14 yo fat virgin who had never kissed a chick. Idk how I got it but I got it.
I tried fucking a chick but she passed out before I could. Her roommate was down, but now she txts me every 10 mins...this is my nightmare
>I tried fucking a chick but she passed out before I could. Her roommate was down, but now she txts me every 10 mins...this is my nightmare

Are you queer or something, you have a sure thing.

Cold sores are from HSV1 (usually). Genital herpes is HSV2. They're different viruses.

Most people have HSV1. You probably got it from kissing a relative when you were a child.
lmao to be honest even a sure thing can suck. im not the guy but what i say to him is just keep your distance you dont have to reply. just get it when you want and put up with some bs
Exactly what it is, HSV1.
Fucking faggot relatives.
It felt so bad, especially thinking about all the chicks I got with after that and I cluelessly was doing all that shit. After I found out I didn't even want anyone to get like 5 feet close to me cuz I didn't want anyone else with that shit. Feels bad man.
i agree. i have(well maybe had?) a sure fuck, but she wanted a relationship, i just wanted to fuck.
>a few weeks ago
>go out for drinks after work most nights
>be around 3am
>only me and slutty work friend still out
>go back to hers
>start getting off with each other
>too drunk to get hard
>sucks my flacid dick for a few seconds
>finger her
>eat her out
>go sleep
>go work next day

drink is a bitch
>crush confesses love at college graduation
>never find time to bone before parting ways
>move to different cities
>new years
>she asks me to come visit her
>i fly across the country
>i meet her at her door
>carry her straight to bed
>no talking
>no foreplay
>start fucking
>dick's too big
>pussy's too small
>she cums from just the tip
>i can't
>don't like oral
>have sex 10 times in 3 days
>cum 0 times
>drink is a bitch

Never fucked one.

Since it's on topic...

>divorce wife
>friend tells me I need to get laid
>I tell friend I just need time
>friend and his girlfriend decide to hook me up with one of her coworkers
>invite me to diner where we hang out a lot
>girl is there, not very pretty, fat
>we don't really hit it off, but we all go back to friend's house
>watching movie
>she starts rubbing my leg
>decide what the fuck
>finger her
>take her back to my place
>sex lasts all of thirty seconds
>condom breaks
>never see girl again

>month later
>WTF are these blisters on my dick?

Dude, HSV1 is harmless and something like 80% of people have it. You get the occasional cold sore and that's about it.

Don't worry about it. Most people you'd be around already have it anyway, and those who don't are usually immune to it.
we all been there, and man enough to say i have wanted a relationship too bc tha ass was so perfect lol (ass fetish)
I had sex with a really fat chick and she told fucking everyone...
ouch lol well hopefully you can fuck her again lol
Shit well that's something I didn't know.
Makes me feel a bit more comfortable.
I haven't gotten anything since about like 3 or 4 years ago.

I'm good with it now, married actually. The wife was ok with it, ofc told her about it before, but I found out once we were engaged. Thought she was going to leave me but she proved me wrong.
MFW most of the posters in this thread have 8 inch dicks
how did you find out? what was your reaction
I get the same. Stop jerking off for a while. It can desensitize it.

not too bad though we hook up regularly and take turns paying for the izakaya and love hotels

top tip, never take more than 25mg Viagra, shit will kill you
Armyfag. Went for a checkup, piss and blood tests and it came out positive. I felt like a shitbag and thought she was going to leave me. Would have gotten super drunk but realized not even that would make me feel less than a shitbag.
5 in reporting in. uncut master race
Green text or gtfo faggot
>gf at the time was all "fuck you we're done"
>go to party with friends
>get pretty drunk, hit it off with some cutie, get her number
>she has to leave for whatever reason
>start feeling sad, drink myself into oblivion
>borderline fading in and out of blackout
>attempting to dance
>friend comes up to me
>"hey bro this girl wants us both to fuck her bro"
>"alright bro meet me in the bathroom"
>go to bathroom
>bitch is straight hideous but i guess i dont care
>immediately get naked for some reason, rock hard
>"nice dick bro"
>i make out with her while he sucks the titty
>alternate between laying on the floor and she doing stuff to her while he fingers her
>he is fully clothed the entire time, i am not
>she makes us stop, says she has to puke
>starts puking in toilet while we wait
>start to smell something wretched
>we both notice the smell and make eye contact at the same time
>both look in her pants at the same time
>it's a shit
>like just straight brown goo
>he bails
>i kinda lay there as she puke cries into the toilet with her shit pants
>she takes shower while i half sleep
>then she fills up the tub and gets in
>i hop in too, figuring "fuck it, why not make a last ditch effort" because i'm gross
>she denies, i go to the other corner of the tub, defeated, and pass out
>I wake up to two of her friends stumbling in on this scene, boner is still there and pointed at them
>they run off in shock
>all my friends come in, pointing and laughing hysterically
>I wake up in my bed the next morning, filled with shame and regret
>so many calls and texts forcing me to explain the events
>gf and i end up getting back together
>go get drunk with my friends again that night like nothing ever happened

that story horrified me at the time but now i'll tell it to some dude that i just met if it comes up in conversation. serves as a good reminder that no matter how awful some shit may have been, you'll always be able to laugh about it with your friends later
fucking newfag

greentexting is only for stories

i wasnt telling any stories was i? faggot
good to hear she stayed with you broski

My girlfriend is one of the lucky ones. She's immune to it.

Good thing too, since I've got both.

She knew beforehand. We used protection for the first couple of years and then just said "fuck it." She's had blood tests since then (we've got an open relationship, so it's just good practice) and she still comes up clean.

Apparently some women are just immune. I'm not complaining - I won't go bareback with anyone else that doesn't already have it.
I'll make this quick.
Be me single in college.
Friend and his gf break up she starts texting me, try to make her feel better, one night she tells me at a party that she really likes how I look now cause started lifting and what not, never really saw her that way cause she was always one of the bros, but start to make my attack run. So Halloween rolls around get drunk af one night with my bud. She calls me saying that she has beer and wants to drink already like 2 AM so i know what she wants.
Go there chill drink more and kick my friend out of the room cause im going solo. The sex was ok but all she did was lay there the whole time. Decent petite bod, good ass, small tits.
Shitty part starts NOW!! I keep texting her trying to hook up again, and eventually word gets back to me that she is saying a got her drunk on purpose. So long story short most of my friends from high school want to kick my ass or don't talk to me no mo, because a) they think i got her drunk on purpose and b)they were all kinda mad they didn't get the first move.
>be 16
> driving around with friends drifting his girlfriends car
>get cocky
>call up old fwb
>we talk she said I could come over
>time to bust a nut
>drive over
>jump thru window because parents were fuckin weird
>start making out and shit
>lets do this shit
>she starts blowing me
>fuck yeeeeee deep throat it slut
>she deep throats too far
>gags and pukes all over my dick
>sits there in shock, run into her shower and clean off real quick
>slap that bitch real quick
>jump out the window
>jump into the car
>peel off

Shit was fucking disgusting, I told her to get her skills fixed up
I regret calling her that day more and more everytime I think of it.
Thanks man, I would've been devastated far more than I could imagine.
That's some awesome shit right there.
How does HSV2 react on you?

That's pretty awesome, wonder what it is that makes it work to have them being immune.
>be me at 16
>been dating this 10/10 bombshell
>really skinny, EEE breasts and nice ass, works at Victoria secret
>hard to get time to hang out because her parents are Islamic (she's middle eastern)
>been having sex for months already
>decide we should try anal
>feels uncomfortable for both of us
>suddenly she jerks her body
>asks if I pushed in deeper
>feel my dick being pushed out
>both immediately throw up as she shits on my floor
>get cleaned up and we don't talk for a few days

Didn't last long cause regular sex was great

>comes over without calling a few days later with bag full of new underwear and models them for me before we have sex
>never talk about anal sex again

sounds like me after a heavy night drinking

"fuck it"
>masturbate at least once a day for 15 years.
>stop feeling orgasms
>never feel sex
>finally decide to make a change
>stop fapping for two months
>the time comes
>spend hours looking for the right porn
>settle for the usual porn
>fap hard
>fap thoroughly
>fap responsibly
>cum buckets
>cum for the distance
>never had enough cum inside to have it shoot out before
>not enough toilet paper for mess
>finally finish cumming
>didn't feel a thing
>fap again
>fap again
>fap hard
>fap throughly
>fap responsibly
I imagine that like in some futuristic looking commercial with a guy speaking in a deep voice.
>fuckbuddy for a solid while
>bring her to a beach trip party to a friends
>drink hella
>pretty fuckin hammered by like 2 hours into party
>during kings cup she basically makes it known we need to fuck... and now because she's horny
>tell her to get ready while I smoke a bowl with friends
>come back in to room to her naked
>amazing sex
>hard as a narwhal but can't finish because drunk dick
>fuck for like an hour and a half
>finally finish
>it felt worse than a jackoff
Jesus christ alcohol is a shitty thing to fuck on while having too much of.
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my ex once puked on my dick when we were both a little buzzed
i wiped it off and fucked her in the ass for payback

>mfw busting a nut in that tight asshole
>mfw watching my cum bubble and sputter out all over the sheet
May as well do another one.

>had a five year dry spell, was stationed in .jp with a 8/1 m/f ratio on base, then in Illinois where I just never got lucky
>didn't like the bar scene in .jp, so no .jp pussy for me
>back home
>friend moves back from Illinois, brings girlfriend (who I'm also friends with) with him
>over at another friend's house
>friend's girlfriend (let's call her amy) wants all the girls there to blow a guy at the same time
>I have no girlfriend, so she says this other girl that was there (let's call her sarah) should blow me
>sarah starts blowing me, amy starts blowing friend
>friend starts fucking amy
>I'm having trouble staying hard, been too long just whacking off
>sarah wants to fuck
>tell amy to get us condoms
>they leave
>don't come back for an hour
>finally get back with condoms
>fuck sarah
>don't get off
>disappointing bad sex

Strangely enough, I've been with "sarah" for the last eleven years, and we have a kid together.

>drinking with gf and neighbors
>everyone gets drunk
>go back to my home with gf, neighbor(dude) and another chick.
>go into my room, start fucking gf.
>neighbor and chick are fucking on floor next to bed.
>gf stops riding dick.
>get pissed cuz haven't cum.
>black out.
>gf tells me next morning that I was staring at them fucking and jerking dick.
>don't remember that at all.
Top kek 10/10

>blue balls

I'm an odd duck. Most people get a breakout maybe once a month and it lasts at most a week.

I go for a year or so and then when I get a breakout, it lasts for months. And it itches like mad. And my sensitivity is down to next to nothing from all the scar tissue (my first breakout lasted over a year).

So yeah, for most people it's not a big deal, but for me it sucks goat balls.

(interesting side note - herpes was considered "no big deal" right up until Valtrex was invented - the drug companies put out commercials to make people ashamed of it. I'd like to stab those assholes. It's cost me a lot of pussy.)

ever been to korea?

so much cheaper but still the same quality and korean girls love westerners even more than the japs

you wouldn't happen to be from north california would you anon?
highest kek
>didn't get off
>have kid

>20 at the time. hook up a 15 year old online (legal in my country)
>I pick her up at the trainstation and we go to blockbuster
>Game is on,she's already hugging me while browsing for some shit to watch
>We go home, get on the sofa and start making out..
>Softest lips ever, skinny body and moaning like crazy just from kissing.
>We go to bed
>She deepthroats me. omg. first time i met someone who did that
>She loves sucking dick
>I give her the old lickeroo and get ready to stick it in
>"oh im not on the pill".. fuck i dont have condoms and dont wanna..
>its ok babe, ill just pull out.
>I start fucking her she's so fucking wet and tight. i imagine all 15 year olds are this tight.
>Sex is amazing. she's so fuckign nasty. she starts crying
>im like wattup
>nothing just keep going and she gets in doggy
>she's sobbing and moaning and says fuck me in the ass
>i stick it in her ass and she really starts crying but wants me to continue
>I continue until i bust a nut all over her ass.
>She cries a bit more and doesn't wanna talk about it.
>we go to sleep.
>Next morning wake up from BJ and the whole weekend nothing but BJ and sex while she's crying her heart out.
>We decide that we're "dating"
>Drive her to the trainstation and stop talking to her after that
>Still regret that i cut contact to this day.
Look's like you should try talking to the women you have sexual relations with. Maybe they can make you feel good and you can make them feel good...
Did you miss the part about being together for eleven years?
alright, i'll bite.

>be friends with dude
>has 8/10 gamer gurl fiancee
>he breaks up w/ her cuz he cheats on her
>this chick is fucking hot, huge ass, nice titties, nerdy, hnng
>we hung out a few times before they broke up but it was obviously platonic
>i wanted that ass tho
>we hang out a few times after their breakup, its only been about 3 weeks
>she complains about not getting any dick to me
>says she needs a fwb
>we hang out for a little while longer
>before i leave i grab her and make out with her
>she says 'im ok with this'
>we decide to fuck a couple days later
> i come over after this banquet, im all suited up and shit
>she rips that shit off and fucks me like a wild animal, dirty talk, crazy shit, ugh it was amazing
>she makes me wear a condom cause idk even tho shes on birth control
>take my cock out and notice no condom
>it must have fallen off when i wasn't looking
>put on another condom and continue to go to pound town on that bulbous white ass
>cum massive load on her back
>fall asleep with her
>gotta go out of town in the morning
>get a text from her
>she feels something inside of her from last night
>definitely is not my cum
>oh fuck, the condom came off inside of her and i fucked that shit deep into her
>she has to go to the doctors and get it removed
>jesus christ she'll never want to fuck again

>round 2

>long ass day, need some fux
>hit her up we hang out and smoke a bowl and play some vidya
>she's in heels and a button down and panties hnng that fucking ass
>we fuck like sex ravenous neanderthals for like three hours
>both covered in sweat holy shit
>we decide to shower together
>i'm feeling pretty lightheaded
>pass the fuck out in the shower, hit my head and shit, started seizing slightly
>she is freaking the fuck out, i wake up and have no fuckin clue what's going on
>fall asleep in her bed
>damn this had to be a ruiner for sure
>nope she still wants that dick

>to be continued

I gotta do a visa run in march, was gonna go to bangkok, would you recommend Seoul instead?

>tfw fucking a sandnigger
>friends nye party were 24
>gets stripper in
>ive got long term gf doesn't give head
>catch her on the way out straight up ask
>i'll give you $200 for a blowjob
>don't think she's gonna accept
>done. Where?
>uh down side of the house?
>suckin me good pretty good shit 3/4 of the way there
>mate comes out, wtf dude what is this shit
>she keeps going.. uh.. fuck off mate
>na I think I'll stay and watch
>with my cock in her mouth still 'give me 50 and you can join'
>drops 50
>flops out, his cock is bigger ffs
>she slobbering on both cocks rubbin em bumpin em
>he grabs my shoulder and her head pumps himself home while lookin at me
>ffs what.. zips up.. see you inside champ
>cant finish.. its over.. go
>awkward as fuck go back in he says sweet, 1/4 of the price ands he's coming back to fuck for free next week

actually this isnt a dissappointing story,. sorry.

You did the the "eleven years" bit, right?

I didn't get off the first few times, but after a while my dick figured out what was going on and got with the program.
>be 16
>HS bro friend tells me about his gfs sister.
>she is same age, cool chick apparently.
>hangout with her, all is chill. She's chill and really cute(super banging now.)
>fuck her, take her virginity.
>about a week later hanging out, walking.
>she starts crying. Tells me she's 13.
>be me
>windows phone
>no tinder for me
>in my way to a wizard
how is that dissapointing?
man that sucks, my gf has like no gag reflex
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>be outdoors
>banging it hardcore
>looks asian
>was rough and course
>damn irritating
>shit gets everywhere
>'asian' says nothing the whole time
>MFW blood
>MFW when I fucked a beach
>MFW I have no expressions

>round 3

>around 2 weeks passes
>she's fucked around a little since then
>we hang out and play vidya and smoketh the ganj as always
>she dresses extra sexy, lingere is on point, that fucking ASS my god
>she is looking fucking flames
>get nekkid
>she goes down on me
>i'm not hard
>i'm not getting hard either
>i'm just not feeling it at all
>thoughts flood through my head of those cocks she took since last time and how every single time we have fucked has ended in slight disaster
>ok i cannot do this shit
>it hurts her pride
>we spoon nekkid

a few weeks later and she has a boyfriend, had it for a few months too. now she's single again, and looking even finer. i should try to put that ass on blast again. i just hope it doesn't end in disaster like every other time.

how is this disappointing?

my first girlfriend had me under the impression she was like 17 at least when we started hanging out. soon as we started dating she admitted she was 15. still took her virginity and dated her for a few years. good times
Because I didn't know about 4chan back then. I think about it now, she did everything and anything I wanted her to do. Shit would've been so nice.
yeah i have a pretty high tolerance as far as drinking goes, especially for a skinny cunt, but once that shit flips i'm down for like 98% of shit
This thread


you can download an android emulator on your computer then install tinder

>the more you know
I didn't gain the hots for jailb8 until 4chan. No fucking joke.
fair enough, this place does fuck ya up given enough time
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aye me too, especially good considering I'm single in Japan and you can drink 24 hours here
Introduction to Sam's lame sex life

>be me
>6 weeks old
> grandma was jewish
>>>>no tip
> doctor don't what he is doing, actually cut a part of my nerves with it


>13 years later
>met a nice redhead chick
>we're both the same age
>know she likes me
>make out sometimes
>one day, go to her house, she's alone for the day
>we watch a movie, and halfway through the movie and try to make likemy older friends told me
>make out passionately with her, and slip my hand down her pants
>her breathing gets heavy, i get a glimpse of her face looking at me in a kinky way, smiling with half-closed eyes
>we make it to bedroom
>both get naked
>not awkward at all, just doing it, wihtout thinking
>ofc i have a condom
>we fuck for 25min
>she says it burns inside
>it felt like my dick was under a shower while the rest of my body was sweating
>no pleasure
>no nothing
>don't know why
>mfw i'm sexually disabled
I imagined a lab coat with goggles
It only opens your eyes to beauty.
Never cared about the whole "cut v uncut," but this is genuine mutilation. I'm sorry for your loss, anon.
Or maybe they could tell him about their tiny vaginas before he flies across the country.
jealous, because of both the 24 hour drinking and the japanese girls

not due to yellow fever or anything, but because it seems like every japanese girl i've ever met is in to twinkish white boys like me. would love to visit there sometime
>be me
>be young and carefree
>first vagina I ever activated
>absolutely horrible stench
>honestly never smelled something so bad in my entire life since then
>as it's my first intimate experience with a vagina I assume that's what they smell like
>grit teeth and plow away
>she tried to get me to go down on her
>blast her quiver cave
>find out later that she was a monster
>both relieved and disgusted at the same time
tried two emulators, they sucked balls
>be 29
>be virgin
>sad as fuck
thats it
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one more story

>be 17
>senior in hs with qt3.14 gf
>get back from band competition (LOL NERD!!!)
>go get taco bell, we get horny after, decide to go back to the school
>we park at the practice field and she starts sucking my dangalang
>so good at giving that head
>we in the backseat
>look up
>i see a car at the top of the field
>its a cop car
>ummm qt3.14 i see a car
>'what anon?? dont fuck w/ me'
>umm yea its there and its a cop car
>we instantly are surrounded by 3 cop cars with lights and sirens going off
>i slip on my shorts as quick as possible and get out
>her bra is draped over the steering wheel in the front top kek
>police wondering what we are doing
>studying duh
>no shit what do you think we're doing
>police said they got a report that they thought someone was hunting out there (school is near the woods)
>nope just a couple of teens gettin that freak on
>cop starts acting all intimidating like they are
>"do u know wut her father wud do if he knew wut u wer doin w/ her right now?"
>he'd probably kick my ass
>"hell yea he wud, i'd kick yer ass too if i was him. now get the hell out"
>we leave
> no more fun time at the school
>i didnt even get to blow my load
>thx for blue balin me officers

that was my story, I actually had that happen once too. it was some redneck slut who wanted to fuck in my car (I had a Mustang then) and I seriously slammed her for like 45 minutes in a cramped uncomfortable back seat, I was sweating my ass off and sliding all over the leather and just wanted it to be over but her pussy was dripping wet the whole time and I finally pulled out and jerked myself off into her mouth.
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>Be 18
>Finally get my first girlfriend. She's 17.
>Solid 9/10. Black hair, perky tits, tight body
>She bi-polar and a scitzo, but still love her because first girlfriend derp
>We go out for 4 months. Pretty much do everything except sex.
>She dumps me because she thinks she'll be happier with some other guy
>I'm fucking devastated
>They don't last two weeks.
>She comes running back to me.
>Promptly tell her to fuck off.

3 months later

>We reconnect, hang out as friends
>She suggests we be friends with benefits
>I agree in a heartbeat
>Again, do everything except sex
>Suggest sex
>She feels like she's not ready yet, so she says she'll let me know when she has a date set for me.

>She kills herself two weeks later for reasons still unknown to me
>The reason I dropped out of college. Depressed for a year straight.
>6 years later, I still think of her as "the one that got away"
>not fucking her corpse while is still hot
>be me
>be a freshman in college
>never kissed a girl
>meet 6/10 during orientation
>talk for a few weeks
>she's boring but crazy about me
>i finally kiss her
>she asks me to go down on her
>she asks me to fuck her
>put it in
>after one stroke, she tells me she loves me
>can't cum
>she cries because she has body dysmorphia
>i tell her it's not her
>it's her
>but once that shit flips i'm down for like 98% of shit
holy shit this. i lose all standards so fast when i get drunk. feel bad as fuck for a day or so about a chick i got with/stupid shit i did

then couldnt care less a week later

>hook up with some chick
>was blind drunk at the time, and it was out at some concert where it was dark
>remember her name and look her up on facebook the next day
>literally just vomit on the floor
probably partially due to being hungover but i didnt even fucking hesitate i just threw up. fuck alcohol
>be me 22
>go over with bro hang out at party
>meet bitches most 7/10
>start drinking
>find drunk blonde
>talk for 3 minutes
>go find more beer
>come back. Boyfriends there
>go to other side of party
>9/10 surrounded by guys
>walk up with beer
>new best friend
>talk for a few hours
>go outside
>gotta pee
>pull out dick near bush
>pee on other couple fucking
>give number to 9/10
>go home and fap
>feelz better
>mfw no sex story
> Fuck with girl i've just met
> Break penis
> She runs in fear
> Wait in fetal position on the floor for long minutes
> Dick has now turned purple
> obiwan.jpg
> Grab phone and call an ambulance
> Everybody thinks i've broke it alone
> Endless shame
> Months of nofap
> Boners are pain
> Trauma
> Didn't fuck since
jesus christ, that jargon, what are you 17?
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I've had some trauma before anon, not purple like you though.
>MFW I couldn't fap for a week
>MFW No morning wood or boners when I used to break rocks with my dick

I'm fine now, but shit it was scary when it happened
I wanted to try anal. It hurt way too much and he apologized the rest of the night. :/
And i was looking forward to that fucking movie
>16th birthday
>16yr old virgin now out on the town for the first time
>not even kissed a chick i was a goth and no one wanted that shit
>hit up a alt hangout for first time
>instantly alt chicks on me
>1 qt 7/10 pretty eyes big tits slim invites me to house party coz shes DTF
>party plays out and she drags me into spare room
>no fucking window
>its november
>tell her im a virgin and shes down with it
>bed is like this 3/4 size thing but half of the mattress goes into a box at the end
>she rides me for 20 minutes and its good shit apart from my ankles are caught in this box
>get on top of her and start ploughing
>fucking ankles feel like theyre being smashed with bats at this point
>an hour passes of fucking and still no cum
>she stops
>"are you sure youre a virgin"
>realise cant fucking cum as im a chronic masturbater and ive desensitised my dick
>chick refuses to speak to me after this
>find out later shes never had that before
>becomes laughing stock of her friends as the chick who couldnt even make a virgin cum

as well as struggling to walk coz of fucked ankles i was borderline hypothermic when i got home
Blame korea.
Or Sony
Do you want to try it again?
i guess if you fap enough you ascend to the realm of sex god
Why not both?
typical dr who fan
>be 4 years ago
>wife and i decide to go to a friends house to celebrate xmas
>wife at the time was tiny hot and filthy as fuck
>we're getting drunk as fuck with friends as we're staying over xmas eve
>they pass out so we're getting filthy, slapping her about and shit
>clothes off
>starts sucking me
>grab a fistful of her hair and begin ramming it down her throat as she loves that shit
>welcome to the vomit comet, you must be this tall to ride
>chunders all over my dicl
>i aint squeamish so laugh and she laughs as i say i need to get a towel
>suddenly my dick and balls are on fire
>flashback to a few hours ago when she was eating the spiciest shit youve ever seen
>begin screaming in agony as my cock is turned in to an indian spice cock totem of pain
>"whats wrong just fuck me"
>cant fuck as in agony
>have a row about why im selfish

and thats why kids fuck marriage
>be me
>in love with pretty decent girl
>bout to have sex
>hot and heavy
>start fucking
>close my eyes
>picture kunoichi from naruto
>literally best fuck ever
>do this every time we have sex
This time was different though.
>sudden realization hits me
>every time
>literally every single time we have sex I think about a fucking manga character rather than the girl I'm in love with
>I just stop half way through
>she is really disappointed
>won't tell her why I stopped
>never come clean about it with her
>sex life slowly dies
>we break up
>she starts seeing other guys
>I live in a crappy studio apartment by myself
I don't even masturbate anymore.
fuck no, it took years for me to be able to cum with someone else and when i was able to i was like a fucking virgin busting that nut after 3 strokes
you lost your powers. you must fap more my child
Yes. I'm planning on practicing and easing myself into it. I don't want to be a bitch about it when the real thing happens.
Fake faggot
To be fair I fucking love anal with my girlfriend, it's so fucking tight and she cums like crazy after it every time.
oh my bad
but still she refused in the first place that should be enough of a warning sign next tiem
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this aint mine but its a story that makes me kek on cold lonely nights

>be my friend
>with fine ass chick
>i nickname her "monster tit wank" because of the size of her fuck udders
>hes been wit her for about 2 years but pretty boring
>she finally lets him fuck her in the ass
>goes for it
>she fucking loves it
>busts that nut in her ass
>theyre cuddling in his room
>she farts
>lets out a blast of shitty cum splattering up his white wall
>anal shut down after that
>they broke up a month later
>he had to redecorate as there was a dark mark on his wall that wouldnt come off
>on craigslist
>ad for cougar who wants young meat (I was 17 at the time)
>get in contact, she likes the pic I sent
>arranges a place to meet, she said she'll be driving one of those transit van type things with the huge inside
>pull up next to van, its rainy and windy as fuck so I knock on the side door and hurry in
>theres a bed and all kinds of shit like heating and electric, it's pretty fuckin nice but cramped
>she takes my pants off straight away and starts sucking my soft cock
>soldier doesnt want to stand to attention
>get her on her back and start eating her out
>awkward cramped positioning means my ass is up in the air as if im bout to take a cock
>eating her out for about 5 mins
>suddenly real big urge to fart
>quickly get up and say "try on top?"
>"Anon you need to be hard for that.."
>she starts sucking me off again
>this time the fart comes back and there's nothing I can do but let rip, it's that fairly silent windy type fart
>awkwardly waiting for the smell to hit
>it hits but she says nothing but i can tell she's noticed
>all hopes of a hard on are gone
>go back to eating her out till she comes
>get up and put my shit back on
>suddenly as im putting on my jeans I hear a voice from the front of the van, it's her husband/bf or something
>"Never mind mate, happens to the best of us"
>dont know wether to laugh or cry
>hurry to my car and drive home with the biggest WTF face and the smell of her cunt still ripe on my fingers

She couldve at least told me, I wouldnt have cared.. kek

260,000 yen? 2,600 bucks?
How is that possible?
It couldn't have been a normal love hotel, did you check into the fucking Hilton VIP suite or something?
so you'Re saying your fucked a dumpy fat girl?
she could have had shingles you know
Obviously you WOULD have cared. You couldn't get it up thinking it was just her.
wow my bad, extra 0

would have been about $220
This happened to me once senior in HS she was a freshman... She never reported though
Phew, ok bro
Well at least you got some! I hope you had some good Japan experiences as well.

The way you type makes me feel like you're a little slow.
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That's fucking epic dude

I have never came during sex, i only bust a nut when getting head.

girls def get weirded out after an hour or so of fucking and they eventually ask "why do you never cum?"

I only fuck when im drunk so I just blame the shots
>be me
>get hottie gf
>sex isn't great
>marry her
>sex isn't great but less frequent
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