You can’t believe you’re this early. She asked you to pick her up at 7:30pm, but it’s only 6:15pm. She lives really far away and you’re almost out of gas. How were you supposed to know it would take this long to get here? Your anxiousness of a first date combined with virtually no traffic has you at your destination 75 minutes early. Her car isn’t in the driveway, but the two-car garage is closed and there may be a vehicle inside. You’re too far from home to know the area, but you’ve been looking forward to meeting this girl from the dating site all week. You’re bored, anxious, and need to kill some time, so you decide to:
A) Drive around town until 7:20pm so you don’t appear over-eager. B) Knock on the door, with an excuse ready for being early, hoping someone will answer. C) Sit in your car in the drive-way and play games on your phone until 7:20pm.
>>585799858 A wins! and also ruins it for the samefag continuing to say D)fap
Despite having been on the road for so long already, you decide you don’t want to appear desperate and go for a drive around town. You decide not to wander too far, and by 6:45pm, you’ve got the nearby streets memorized. There are hardware stores, gas stations, convenience stores, grocery stores, and restaurants all within a couple blocks’ radius. You’ve got 45 min. to kill and aren’t sure which location to check out. You’re starving so you wouldn’t mind grabbing a snack, but you’re supposed to get dinner with your date. You also wouldn’t mind filling up your gas tank because you’re almost empty after the long drive here, but you’re anticipating a handshake rather than a hug and you’re afraid your hands might reek like gas. You decide to:
A) Go to a fast food drive-thru for a quick snack. She’ll never know the difference and it might inspire her to order less when she sees you order small at dinner. B) Go fill up your tank. If you don’t do it now, you’re going to have to do it while she’s in the car and she may get annoyed. C) Play it safe and go to the convenience store. You never considered getting her a small gift and this will be your only chance to make a good first impression.
You don’t want to waste time getting gas while on your date and chance upsetting her for having to stop, so you make your way to the gas station. After filling up, your hands reek. You go to wash your hands in the bathroom, but it’s out of order. When you punch the door in frustration, you realize you’ve sliced your hand open. You’ve still got some time to kill and you really need to wash your hands, especially now that you’re bleeding. You head toward the convenience store you passed earlier and clean up in the restroom. Before leaving, you buy a first aid kit with the soft fabric band-aids, annoyed that the only band-aids they sold individually were the plastic kind. Who prefers those, anyway? Noticing that you’re now running short on time, you speed to her place and get there just in time. The girl opening the front door is stunning. You’re amazed how lucky you are. Do you:
A) Ask her if she’s ready to go to dinner. B) Wait for her to ask you to come inside.
You’re glad you filled up your gas tank and took care of your bleeding hand, but now you’d really like to get going. You’re starving. You decide to ask your date if she’s ready to go, but she’s concerned about your hand. You inform her that you took care of it and that you’ll be fine, so you both head to your car. Upon arriving at the restaurant of her choice, you realize there aren’t any parking spaces near the front. You’ve got a strategic decision to make. You:
A) Decide to pay for valet. This girl might be impressed with your willingness to spoil her. B) Decide to park far away. You’d like to see if she’s prissy or not and making her walk a bit will be a nice little test.
You look to the beautiful girl in your passenger seat and decide the smartest move is to pay for valet. You pull up to the valet lane and try not to make eye contact with your date as you hand over the keys. You play it cool like this is no big deal; you do it all the time. She gets out of the car and you could swear you saw her smirking. You engage in a wonderful conversation throughout the length of the meal and think things are going very well. When the sound of dishes crashing in the kitchen echo throughout the restaurant, everyone claps in jest and goes about their meals. But the sounds of breaking platters continue and are followed with blood-curdling screams. A slight panic rolls over everyone as a figure staggers into the dining area, dragging a left leg that’s been badly broken. His chin is pressed in his chest, hiding his face, and nobody can tell if he’s a victim or the attacker. Without warning, this peculiar figure lunges at a table clawing and biting at a group of women. The man, more animalistic than human, raises his blood-stained face allowing all to see him clearly for the first time. His eyes are grayed-out and vapid. His nose has been lost. His remaining flesh is dry and cracked. Before anyone can comprehend this monster, more creatures like him start pouring into the restaurant attacking anyone they can reach, each with their own horrible disfigurements. You and your date retreat until your backs are to the wall, unaware that you’re bearing witness to the first recorded zombie outbreak in history.
>>585802405 Well! You’ve survived the first chapter! With sixty-seven possible endings, you’ve not only remained alive, but you’ve managed to accumulate the following advantages for the remainder of your adventure:
Gas for Your Car First-Aid Kit
But, due to poor choices, you’ve also:
Given away your car keys
The choices you’ve made thus far will be paramount to your continued survival in the following chapter.
>>585803771 i appreciate the offer, but i dont see how 2 people could do it. i have a huge fucking map in excel keeping track of the different paths. there's a different path for each choice, as well EVEN more as in the later chapters dependent on which supplies you accumulated / problems you ran into
other possible outcomes include: fat roommate guard dog muscle-bound alpha male hatchets etc
>>585799215 Set an alarm on my phone for 60 minutes from now.
1. Go get more gas. Jesus fucking christ, it's not like you don't have the time. Is the car clean? Well, guess what, skippy? You've got the time it takes to fill your tank up to full, don't you? Clean up your car, turn down the radio, put a good mix of tunes on the player and air out the road trip farts. 2. Use my phone to find a local gym. Take the emergency stash bag of clothes I keep in the car, pay the guest fee, do a light workout for 15 minutes, then shower. 3. Find a local sunset view area, check it out for 10-15 minutes. 4. Eat a protein bar and drink 24 ounces of water. 5. Go to the store and get a single rose that isn't red - orange with red tips is fine. Get rid of the thorns. Find a card that's blank on the inside, and write "Strangely Romantic Greeting Card and Single Rose Gift Gestures Are Strangely Trite, but Also Strangely Fun to Do On A First Date". Leave it in the car. 5. Head back to the house. Pull up at exactly 7:35 p.m. 6. Knock on the door. 7. Apologize for being a little late. 8. Go out in your car. on the way to the date location, give her the rose / card. Gauge reaction. If she laughs, you win - that's the reaction you wanted. Say something like, "I know you're supposed to do something dorkily romantic like this but I felt like such a giddy little dweeb leading up to meeting you that I just couldn't NOT do something dweebily giddy on the first date. I'm sorry. You're going out on a date with a giddy dweeb tonight." 9. Do dinner and second event, because we're assuming you had to drive all the way from hell and gone to meet this girl. And if you're 75 minutes early to a date that takes normal people 10 minutes to get to, you have serious issues (or traffic problems).
>>585806627 10. In middle of second event, if it's going well, say something like, "I can't focus right now, because all I'm thinking about is the goodnight kiss - whether or not to do it, how it's going to be awkward, etc. So here's my plan. It's not a very good plan or thought out, but it's this: if you feel like giving me a goodnight kiss right now, before the date's over, that would work for me. If you think kissing's out of the question, then that's fine, but at least that way I can focus on being with you right now and not think about how to get you to kiss me or if you're even interested in kissing me. And I think you're probably on some level trying to figure that out, too. So, want to just get the whole awkward moment out of the way right now?" 11. If response is negative, don't worry about it, continue date. 12. If response is positive, kiss. 13. At end of date, if positive, don't go inside, just give second goodnight kiss at door and say don't be surprised if I call and ask you for another date tomorrow and see what you have going on. 14. If negative, walk her to door, say I had a great time. Talk to you soon.
>>585806881 Nope. This thread is bullshit, I'm jacking it. No guy in their right mind would actually have a storyline like this. The optimal results for dating are conducting one's self in optimal positive outcomes.
We all know /b/ would rather just rape and call it a day. Don't drag it out.
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