So today I was looking for a job when I stumbled upon this:
My name is Victoria I'm 18 years old and I'm Currently looking for a babysitting job, not in school so I'm free all week at anytime. I love children and have 3 younger brothers and love to care for kids you can contact me at xxxxxx my email is xxxxxx
So naturally, being an unemployed alcoholic piece of shit I sent her this:
Hello. My name is Markus West. My wife and I have been looking for a babysitter for quite some time now but unfortunately none of the candidates we've interviewed satisifed our standards. Of course, the reason we're so hard on our potential employees is because we cherish our daughter's safety lots and lots so we wouldn't want to hand her off to some incompentent sleezeball. However, I assure you that there's nothing to be worried about. You seem to be young and moldable so if you're not naturally good at the job it'll be my wife (Anna)'s pleasure to instruct you on our demands.
These are some things you need to know:
* We're looking for someone with common sense and basic organzational skills * This is a part time position so you'll only be needed on weekends, Fri-Sun from 4pm till 10pm * We must seek the approvable of your parents first if you're underage * We pay 25 an hour plus meals, all under the table *You must abstain from using cellphones or other similar devices while caring for our daughter *There's six cameras throughout the house. You might think it's a bit excessive but due to a past incident we think it's necessary *Absolutely NO BOYS allowed in our house *Being proficient in boardgames would be lovely as my daughter likes them a lot *At the end of the night you must write a 8 page report on what went on during your workday *Kitchen counters must be kept clean *Our daughter is 8 years old and requires minimal supervision (although we do want someone who will engage with her)
My name is obviously NOT Markus and I obviously don't have a wife, let alone a daughter. This was her response:
Hello I am interested in baby sitting your daughter I've read the things I need to know and they all sound very reasonable though I am a little confused with the 8 page report if it is seriously necessary I will do it but I am interested in this position so I hope you do consider me and if love to talk more about this further with you and your wife thank you
Her response: My full name is xxxxxx I am Italian and native I am Not baptized but I do believe in The Lord and I pray every night White When u say can't elope I think yummy My criminal record is clean I've had two long term relationships currently in one and have just date two other guys so four relationships Never had any STDs I have one tattoo but I can cover it easily I think it's Obama but in all honesty I really am not to sure An I will do the test now and send u the score soon
but tragedy strikes! The free IQ test I googled tested her at mentally retarded!
My score was a 52 I know that's low an probably not what your looking for but I am a smart girl I passed all my classes and I know my stuff
Sent from my iPhone
I started ignoring her emails so she followed up with this:
My score might not be high but I know why I'm doing I'm the oldest of 4 brothers and I love to care for children and plan to make that my life career and I hope to hear back from u and your wife because I would love this position
Sent from my iPhone
Pic related, it's her. What should my next step /b/?
>>584274106 make up some bullshit about how she can't be too attractive because it might cause something blah blah blah and that you need to see her naked. something more intricate but along those lines, may take more than 1 email.
That's poorly thought out. It couldn't possibly work. What I could do is trace her facebook, address, and other personal info based on what she told me but I don't know what good that'd do. At this point what I have is a desperate, gullible, and sweet girl who thinks I'm a fully respectable adult man with a wife. How can I use this to get something out of her?
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