Petty thievery thread. How good of a crook are ya? Tips truck

>>583929834
Tricks*

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>>583929834

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>>583929834

Story time!

>Be me and two other friends a few years ago.
>Be awake at 3:00 AM on a Wednesday
>Doing fuck tons of coke.
>Friend A goes outside to smoke a cigarette.
>After a few minutes, Friend B and I hear someone yelling.
>Look outside window with Friend B.
>Friend A still has his cigarette in his mouth, and is fist fighting some hobo in the street who was breaking into our cars.
>Friend B and I look at each other.
>Ohfuckno.jpeg

Continue?

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>>583931689

>>583931689
>continue?

will there be buttsex?

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>>583931689
>>583931897

>>583931689
No.

>>583931689
continue

>>583929834
>work in loss prevention
>craigslist about half of recovered stuff
>$10k in cash

>everything posted here is a work of fiction yaadadada

>>583931689
Do

>>583932390
do you work at home depot? if so, fuck em.

>>583932390

Oh shit man, you might be on to something here. What store do you work for?

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>>583931897

>Friend B and I are on the second story of my house looking out the window.
>Friend B opens the window and straight jumps outside, rolling when he hit the ground.
>Friend B picks up a rock and starts running towards Hobo.
>Hobo sees Friend B coming and starts yelling like a madman.
>I leave the window to run downstairs outside like a normal person.
>I get outside just in time to see Friend A holding Hobo while Friend B runs up and hits him across the face with the rock.
>See blood and teeth fly, Hobo stops yelling and goes limp.
>Friend A keeps holding the crumpled body of Hobo while Friend B laughs his ass off beating his face in with a rock.
>I tell them to stop, lights are turning on all down the street.
>Hear sirens coming.

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All I do is steal them munchies at the supermarket when I'm high.

It's actually even easier to walk around eating stuff around, because nobody notices.

>pic related
Just say you're going to pay for it and show your wallet in case someone asks you what are you doing

one time I stole a porn DVD from a magazine in the airport. Still a beta though.

>>583929834

Petty thievery is for stupid niggers too dumb to do shit right.

To the following things to make real money:

>Buy memory chip or camera
>Magnetic reader/ skimmer
>Find a small atm that is in a remote location
>Get to work.
Bonus: Near me there is an unguarded 0 security atm where I work. If you have a truck you could steal the whole machine at night when the building is empty. Look for these atm machines to skim or take the whole fucking thing.

Next:
>Get wifi password tester (this goes for 20 bucks on amazon) and go to a parking lot. Test all password combinations on cars in lot. Some will open up within your allotted 7 minutes (bruteforce a car open essentially). Steal the shit inside and leave. Do it from the bushes with a hoodie on. Lot of money to be made that way.

This one works but you need to be patient:
>Learn to do basic sql injections and some basic computer programming.
>Start finding weak websites and hunt for credit card/ debit card data and user data/ passwords.
>Collect a lot of it.
>Sell data for cheap like the cuntbag you are in exchange for bitcoins.
>Trade in bitcoins for shit or for real life money.

Seriously, why risk doing a crime and showing who you are when you could do something bad from far away? Serious question here. Card skimming is easy as shit and makes so much bank.

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>>583932587

>Tell Friend A and Friend B to drag Hobo body around back to an alleyway.
>They drag him off and throw him in dumpster, but not before stealing his watch.
>Friend A and B wander the city for like an hour while I have to talk to cops and neighbors about what happened.
>Tell cops that I saw someone breaking into my car and scared them away.
>Cops ask why there are teeth in the street.
>lolidk.jpeg
>Tell us if you see anything, bla bla.
>Friend A and B come back over.
>Do more coke.

>>583929834
>be me, horny teenager
>walmart
>pick a cologne marked 'sex appeal'
>take it into restroom
>start unboxing it, putting it in pack
>cop walks in
>frozen in stall for 2 or 3 minutes waiting for him to leave
>he leaves
>put cologne in pack and walk out as fast as i can
>still don't know if he knew

later was fined 200+ dollars for stealing food worth less than one from dicks' market and never lifted again

>>583932861
I like the rush man. I used to case houses but I'd never wreck the place. Id take what I wanted, and leave everything else untouched. So they would just go insane looking for something they think they lost.

>>583933620

Okay.

>>583929834
I like to take whatever is near me at the time without being stupid about it; small amounts off cash, stationary, batteries, I personally take pretty much anything I can without a risk of getting caught.

ITT: People that truly deserve a beatdown

>learn to pick pockets
>get good at it
>get better at it
>tell people you want to do magic tricks and test on them
>test on people

>go to overcrowded, dark, loud, bars/discos
>target drunk as fuck douchebags with baggy pants
>wait until they head to the overcrowded bar
>bump into them softly, covering the deed with body
>not too hard, you don't want them seeing your face, even if they are drunk
>walk to the bathroom
>take money, dump wallet right there

>if you get caught, you picked it up from the ground
>otherwise say nothing
>never hit the same place more than two times in a month
>never tell ANYONE you are doing this
>seriously, tell NOBODY

>>583934539
Same. I enjoy it. If I check a car, I just take cigarettes, cash, cell chargers, I leave gps' cause fuck em. I'll take other electronics.

>>583935061
Don't most brand new GPS's cost like £40-£70?

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When I was 5 I was at a clothing store, and there was this pair of pants that had a compass attached to them with velcro. I wanted that compass so bad, and stole it off the pants. Walked out like a pro and never stole anything again.

>>583935061
>walk home drunk
>just moved to a new place
>on my way there is a plant from someone moving in
>this is mine now
>run around the corner and then just walk
>unlocked bike on my way
>still ways to go, okay
>ride bike for a while, plant under one arm
>ditch bike at a parking lot, have no need for it anyway
>as I walk across, I see someone park and head into a building quite far away
>strange, the lights in the car are still on
>he left the fucking keys
>oh god, the temptation

Didn't after all.
But I got a neat plant now.
Named it Bernt.

Aka nigger general

Stole an oz of weed and $200 from my friends house when I was in 7th grade and they never found out.

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>>583929834
Petty thievery is for massive niggers too nigger to get a real job.

>Be at school
>Walking home by the busses and talking to mother on phone
>Nigger grabs my phone and tries to run
>Chase after him
>Catch him
>Start beating his ass into the ground
>Get jumped by his friends and he gets away
>Report phone stolen and get it replaced
>Month later get a call from AT&T
>The stolen phone appeared up at their store
>Let me know I can come pick it up after the police arrest the nigger
>Turn on phone
>Picture is of a gun with weed and money
>Phone is filled with texts from niggers
>Contains a lot of incriminating evidence
>Reset phone to factory defaults
>Snap his SIM card in half in front of him when he demands it back
>Get punched in the mouth and called a cracker

>>583935256
Yeah, but some people really rely on their gps. I used to before I got my new car. My speedometer was busted. So I leave em alone.

>>583935572
I used to take sweets from supermarkets when I was that young, never ever got caught.

so is this the nigger's thread? i stole a candy bar from a supermarket once, felt like billy the kid or some shit like that.

>be me, couple weeks ago
>At some shitty Vape store with a friend of mine
>friend is a bit of a Wigger, used to sell crack then got arrested, he's clean now tho
> Vape Store is almost empty
> Only folks there are me, friend, clerk and a couple potheads
>Potheads looks like total degenerates, one of them even has dreadlocks even tho he's white.
>So we're all there doing our thing when suddenly dreadlock dude get his Ipod out his pocket and this big bag of weed falls on the floor
>l guess I was the only one that saw It happened at that time because nobody reacted to the considerable amount of illegal substance that was just there, casually laying on the floor

[cont.]

>>583935004

https://soundcloud.com/whitepuny/jumpin-like-jordan-whitepuny-strngr-remix

>>583929834
My parents are professors at a university and occasionally go to parties by the deans/president. As a child I got dragged along a fair amount. At one of these parties I stole five of the salt/pepper shakers from the tables, and I also stole some of their spoons.

I didn't choose the thug lyfe.

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>>583932595
>tries walking out the store
>"what are you doing"
>wallet excuse fails
>leave glorious free life for life of average nigger
>you probably are a nigger

>>583935880
Good to know; I'm not really brave enough to go for cars though, I prefer to take things from buildings.

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>>583932861
That credit card thing does not sounds foolproof. Care to explain why you're not getting bent over in a penitentiary right now?

>>583936373
Not anywhere I don't casually go of course.

>>583935004
except ppl on 4chan, apparently
NO I"M NOT A FUCKING ROBOT STOP ASKING 4chin

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>>583929834
COPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOPCOP

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>>583935798
Did the nigger get the torture penalty that he deserved?

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>>583935975
I fucking love where this is going

>>583936748
Yeah right.

>Major corporate retailers
>Massive, ungodly profits
>Mom and pop wreckers

>Go to said store of your choice that has self check out
>Pick several small items of trivial value
>Pick several items of modest value
>Pick the item you're going to steal. It MUST be a large item
>Self check out
>Scan several of the items you don't care about
>Act like you scanned the large item and lean up against the self check out machine on the baggage side of it
>The item must be sitting on the floor and next to the self baggage side
>Continue scanning other shit with no fucks given
>Pay and stroll your ass right out of the store

Protips:
Works awesome if you're white.
If anyone stops you, simply smile and play stupid and state you'll happily go take care of it
Return the shit you didn't want, some days later for a refund.
Repeat as needed.
Fuck the large retailers and use them to your advantage. They are community parasites.

>>583936676
7 proxies, bruh

But seriously, it's mainly for trust reasons. Every fucking time someone loses shit they will think it was you. They musn't know what scum you are.

Also if you happen to hit someone your friend knows, sooner or later someone will spill.
Or they will be real retards and brag about that shit, since you can actually make some good money.

>>583936830
He got his ass beat into the ground by his lawyer mother in the AT&t store when she found out the phone was stolen. Apparently he came from a wealthy family but hung out with pure niggers.

>>583936373
Well if the car is unlocked you are golden I don't break windows that's sketchy

>be halloween last year
>drunk at party
>couple people wanna go out for a smoke
>we decide to walk around the block while we all smoke
>see yard with lots of decorations
>one guy goes 'how funny would it be if someone stole that skull'
>hop fence
>steal entire skeleton
>run back to party

my friend now has a skeleton next to her christmas tree

>>583932861
> TL;DR: use wifi to open cars
what nonsense is this?

>>583935256
Who even buys a standalone sat-nav these days when most phones have it built-in for free?

wow, this thread is even more bonkers than I originally imagined

>>583936326
sauce

>>583937423
It's hardly auspicious, but I wouldn't go for even an open car, unless I had a mask; I'm too paranoid.

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>>583937215
I agree with milking the succulent tit of these fat cats, but I'm really just too paranoid to try this "out in plain sight" thievery. At least being sneaky and hidden sounds like it has better odds but fewer opportunities.

>>583937665
I see people with standalone GPS's every now and then.

>>583937215
lol i do this at the supermarket all the time, except it's just with the piece of food which is slightly more expensive than the others.

expectedly, not all the food bags can fit on the weighing bit, so after ive filled one bag up and move it onto the floor, half way through filling up the bag on the scale, i start "scanning" the item and putting it into the bag on the floor

all expensive stuff in shops is deliberately tagged to prevent this though, so it's not particularly useful

>>583937971
Haven't you faggots seen the bait car vids. I hope you spics and niggers all get raped in prison for this petty shit. More likely to happen than you think.

>>583937215
I worked retail for a while. That macro you see every once in a while is accurate. I have seen people literally stroll out of the store with a crt full of shot, none paid for. I write a report, and they're back next week

>>583937971
I'm a pretty big guy. Pretty unmistakeable. No worries if no ones around. If anyone but the owner asked what you're doing, for all they know that's your car.

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>>583937770
my sauce is 4chan. The rest I have are creep and female abuse webms. Here's female aboos.

Robbed a gas station (a busy one downtown even) as a teen. About 15 years ago. Was an inside job, there were 3 of us, driver, employee and me the runner. Spent a few months casing the joint for cop, customer and employee traffic, and every sunday we would try dif getaway routes. did it when employee was making a drop. The day of stuffed my long hair under a throw away baseball cap and taped down my long ass goatee. Wa l8l ked in unarmed with a backpack, tossed it to him and mummbled jiberish. Calmly walked out of store and past window front and jumped in car. Emediately looked up to see cherries in the mirror (heart stopped for like 3 seconds). Realized they were pulling someone else over. Drove home as calm as could be. Saw about 6 cop cars on way home. Freaking out. Driver wanted to dump cash but convinced him to just stay calm and get home. Dumped pack on floor. About 3600 spendable cash. Burned checks and money orders ect. Each got 1200. Still have this huge tiedye I bought. Never got caught. Employee quit over getting "robbed".

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>>583937770
creep

>>583938764
>>583938764
>>583938764
w...w-why cant I stop this erection

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>>583936617

4chan thinks my post is spam (faggots). I posted it in the picture. Also, I know a guy who does this. I don't do it since I have no need to but here ya go. It's a broad overview but worth considering if you want to really man the fuck up.

>>583938250
The thing is, is that you are simply checking out your items at the self service machine, and doing something that everyone is doing around you, you just forgot to scan one, maybe two items. It is literally right under everyone's nose and you look just as normal as everyone else when doing it. That's where your benefit is; doing it right out in the open without looking like a shady paranoid nigger. I've pretty much stocked my garage and garden this way. Fuck those assholes.

>>583929834

the easiest way to steal shit is as follows:

step 1: dress up like a cop
step 2: kill a nigger
step 3: leave niggers body in street a long time
step 4: join raging protests
step 5: loot shit
oh i forgot - step 4.5: paint skin black so you blend in with protesters
step 6: hook up your new 80 inch HD TV
step 9: play free vidya games like a boss

works every time for me

>>583938470
I don't live in America, so the police aren't complete fucking assholes here, and I probably wouldn't really ever go for a car.

>>583937423
For real. I left my door unlocked once and someone stole all my change, my old Ipod, and my compound bow right out of my car. Cops said they couldn't do much about it because it wasn't breaking and entering if the door was unlocked.

>>583936326
Nah, I'm white but I'm always hungry and not always got money to spend.

>>583938670
>big guy
4 u

>>583938764

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Z3Wyslekg

>MRW

>>583932861
Don't follow any of this dumbass's advice. His 1337 hacking tips will send you right to suckling your cell mate's cock.

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>>583938964
because female abuse and creep threads get rocks off nicely

>>583938998
I think they meant going for cars and other things.

>>583939359
Fuck off nigger. Let these other chimps
Go to jail. You all deserve it

>>583939359

I don't do any of it m8 and it's far from "elite" it's still petty street shit but a lot of criminals are upgrading to these methods. it doesn't take a genius to figure out how it works or to look into it. I know a guy who does it. It's nowhere near as complicated as it seems. I agree that most people would get caught but with common sense these methods trump petty thievery and nigger trickery.

Gayboy

>in school, be ~15
>me and some friends go to parking basement where there is a recycling place where you can get about 20 cents per can recycled
>we send 3 cans in
>friend stand on other side of the door, 1 guy to hold the door open
>keep sending back the cans to each other to scan them in again, grab them from the machine and send them back in
>cash in 120$ in store
>i bought sodas

I stole £4,500 worth of Heroes Season 2 DVD box sets back in 2008.

>Be 16 fucking edgy af
>Carry knife because i thought i was a G
>Last year of school
>Older kid named Issa always fucks with me & friends, searching our pockets and shit
>He deals weed and coke
>Man fuck this sandnigger
>decide to rob him
>me and two friends decide on a night
>go to his flat, i have hammer, friend has knife, other friend has baseball bat
>knock on door he pulls it onto the chain
>kick door, expecting it to bust open like in the movies, it doesn't
>He flings open the door and pounces us like a fucking lion
>He's a big guy
>big struggle, hit him once with the hammer but it's pretty useless as we all grapple
>Another guy comes out of flat
>He has a fucking shotgun
Bare in mind i'm a britfag so guns are like unheard of
>He aims it at us, tells us to stop
>Oksir.jpeg
>Issa grabs gun, says he's going to kill us all.
>Friend just right hooks him out of nowhere
>run for our fucking lives
>Gave up the thug life after that
Two of us kept our mouths shut, my other friend bragged about it about a year later and got stabbed in the face.

>be me
>write a really poor ebook on how to lose weight, stealing content from other books and just making up random crap
>make a good looking website and advertise the ebook
>advertise my website on tons of forums and other shit (this process took me about a year)
>eventually the site is well known, made 15k a month cuz of ads on my site and people buying the ebook
>did this for 12 months, made a whooping 180k
>after that website visitors and buyers became lower and lower, also tons of bad reviews of my ebook
>decided to close my website

i made the ebook in about 2 hours, website was just a template took me also about 2 hours. 4 hours of work made me 180k.

Robbing a parking attendant in a city parking lot seems like the quickest cash. What do you guys think?

>>583940224
Did you have to pay to make the e-book? Can you direct me to the site?

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>>583929834
once i collected dubs

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>>583940217
>bragged about it
>[need information here]
>got stabbed in the face

>>583940308
I don't think they even carry cash on them.

>>583940368

i closed my site like i said
and i didnt have to pay to make the ebook, only paid for the website.

>>583940676
Not really much to say, after the whole gun incident I distanced myself and we finished school and stuff. Heard he got stabbed from facebook, messaged him and he told me Issa found out he was involved and got him as he was walking home from some party.

>>583940217
Fucking hop across the channel and bring one back nooby.

>>583940714
I'm talking about the parking attendant that deal exclusively in cash.
I live in miami

>>583940308
I'll try this and get back to you lol.>>583940714
They do. Downtown in large facility parking lot they usually charge 5 bucks.

>>583940924
No i mean direct me to the site where you made the e-book. I've been looking to make one and all the ones i find you have to pay to do it.

>>583940981
Through Uk airports? No chance. Plus as I say i was 16 so i couldn't just 'hop across the channel'

>>583929834
Genuinely got into this a couple months ago. Read a lot of deepweb stuff and generally prepped myself.

Went out to a pretty big shared apartment in mid-countryside area, found a big ass shed, window open, pussied out. Came back few days after, 12 at night, jumped through window, searched loads of dusty boxes, all useless shit. Except a decent bag of golf clubs.

Stealthed my way back though the window, went home with golf clubs on my back.

Sold on ebay, £230 in a week. Fucking easy.

I've never done it again, but i'd like to know other peoples stories... might do it again sometime.

>>583941178
Wait, I'm confused, how do they do it?

The other day, I went to Kohls and grabbed:
>sweater vest [I know, it's gay, but I was going to a wedding and my gf said I should wear one]
>a bowtie [same story]
>a tie
>a dress shirt
>a necklace
>3 pairs of earrings
>2 pairs of sunglasses
>1 pair of slippers
Totaling over $200 in product.
Shit was jokes.

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>>583941390
Chunnel dumbass. Or bring it in two pieces so its not assembled

>>583941390
Or get a fucking hunting shotgun like you probably got beat with.

>>583941254

i just used adobe indesign to create the ebook

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>>583940924
I'm really, really intrigued by how you suckered 180k out of the idiot-run market. Please, please please share your secrets and help a starving college student.
I always thought books needed to be "published' or whatever the shit. You just
>wrote a shitty book
>acted as a professional behind your shitty book
>advertised your shitty book
>sold enough copies of your shitty book to quadruple my future salary
>stopped selling shitty book when people found out it was shitty
Goddamn props, man. This isn't thievery; this is ingenuity.

>>583935757
>Stole an oz of weed and $200 from my friends house
>Stole from my friend

>stealing
>friend
pick one

>>583941817

there are no secrets, you just need the motivation to continue.
advertising your product and trying to get it well known is the pain in the ass, it took me a year and I wanted to stop with this shit every day but i didnt and it eventually paid off.

>>583941571
I broke into a house once and the guy walked into the living room as I unlocked the door, I ran through the front door saw him, grabbed the nearest item to me (he was a hoarder) which were two fucking swords, screamed an busted out the back sliding glass door. It was insane. Most terrifying moment of my life.

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>Friend trusts me implicitely
>Says i can stay over when he's not there
>While there don't steal anything
>notthatretarded.jpg
>One day he leaves for work
>"You can chill for a while buddy, just lock up when you leave"
>He leaves a spare key on his coffee table
>Go to Home Depot get copy made
>Come back put spare back where it was, clean up mess and leave
>Come back a few weeks later
>Not home
>He's gone to visit family for Thanksgiving
>it's time
>Unlock the door
>Steal all his games, four or five sets of headphones, ps3, ps4, xbone, weaboo shit like figures that are really expensive, computer monitor and parts
>About 1500 to 2000 dollars worth of shit
>He doesn't suspect
>Still come over every now and again because he gives me free food

More stories plox !

>>583941590
You give them money to park. They give you a ticket.

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>>583942832
It sounds fucking hard, to be honest. Getting a site "well-known" isn't something many people can do. But shit, you're right, you made that money from being very persistent, and probably a little lucky. Fuck man, you're the king.

>>583942879
And that's why you should always make sure the house is empty.

>>583935975
[ ...cont]
so here we are, small vape Store, me at a counter, Wigger friend at the other Side of the room talking to the cashier, two potheads in the middle and this bag of Mary on the floor beside them
> This Is where things became a bit awkward
> Instead of Swiftly picking their drug up, those two stone started talking very loudly and stomping their feet
> they were probably trying to act cool like nothing happened but were just too high to be good at it
> That's when Wigger friend noticed them and gave me this intense look that said "let's teach these idiots a lesson and steal their Kush"
>At first l was a bit reluctant to the idea
>Then again, things Were allaining too perfectly
>especially when dreads guy finally managed to kick the illegal substance out of plain sight, right alongside the conunter closest to my current location
>Then I saw the other guy initiating a motion to retrieve it and this is when it struck me
> I shouted to the clerk " Hey dude, Can l see that vape right over there"
>Stoner frose for a second and went right back to what he was doing before
>Clerk went to me, and started enumerating the caracteristlics of that particular model and why it was so very worth the money
>l didn't care, l had a motherfucking plan
>So l asked to see the vape op close, to judge if it felt right to my hand
>Clerk said " Sure "
>l dropped my bags On the counter and while reaching for the Vape I intentionally pushed my bag with my helbow
>bag fell right over the weed and some of my things crumbled out
>Then Wigger friend Swooped in
>"don't worry, I got it" he said while picking up my Stuff + the mari and stuffing it all back in

>>583942961

you're a piece of fucking shit.

>>583929834
Pretty bad since I just got 4 felonies for that bs lol still be hittin cars on the low thoe

>>583942879
haha you serious bro? that is pretty insane. How did you unlock the door?

>>583943089
I'd cased that house like 3 times before and it'd been empty. Didn't expect the guy to be back.

>>583943001
Not where I live.

>>583929834
I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man; some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away.

>>583942961
>he doesn't suspect
Except that's not entirely the case, you untrustable, shitty fucker. Fuck you for being such a parasite.

>>583943147
You started this story almost an hour ago. I had to reread your first post to remember your story. Where the fuck were you?

>>583943318
Three times? What a sucker.

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>>583943186
>>583943383

>>583943147
Go on anon.

>>583929834
Biggest profit 800$ ran out an office with a cash register no mask that's were 2 of my charges came from I gues u can't really call it profit when ur bail is 15,000 North Carolina is a dumbass state thoe you can pretty much sign your self out with out paying any money on all non violent offenses even felonies so I was out quick back on the streets.

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Everytime I go Smegmans I sequester at least 7 of the gomacro bars at a time

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>>583943350

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Ive taken at least 1000$ worth of these from wegmans

>>583943350
Tell me more about when you killed the girls. Were they pretty? Did they scream/cry/beg? Did they shit themselves before, during, or after? What position did you leave the bodies.
Make my semi into a fullon.

>>583943350
It says thievery you lair.

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>>583943921
don't tell him

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>>583943350
American psycho?

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>>583944054
lel

About $10k in booze cigars tools and knives and just really nice random shit. That was bout 5 years ago, pretty sure i was 17. Warehouse belonged to an uncle of a guy we knew, dude hated his uncle (some mobster) so he helped us punk him (helped us hit his house earlier that year). Man i hope that kid is dead, no respect for his family.

>>583943859
>mfw that would be felony larceny in my state lmao

Me and a buddy made over 4grand from a night of car hopping

>>583944257
i wont stop

>>583944139
You don't even have to give me the real details, just make up some erotic girl massacre for me.

>>583944182
>pretty sure I was 17
You sure about your age Anon?

>>583944294
If you have a walmart that has one of those Eco phone cash machines you can easily make damn near a grand a day hitting cars and stealing phones. Next easiest thing is running down on hipster drug dealers they are extremely scared of guns. And low risk to rob cuz unlike nigs they don't keep them usually. Cars and dope boys is were the money is at and the occasional plug but that's super high risk only did that once.

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If its cold, wear a hoodie or coat, preferably with big pockets and/or pockets on the inside. If it's warm, wear jeans or shorts with big pockets.
Never steal anything that will stick out unless you have something to cover it (shirt covering up pants pockets, etc.).
If its cold and you're actually gonna buy something as well, put the item in the kids seat of the cart, and cover it with jacket/hoodie so it can't be seen from any side.
Don't steal more than you can conceal in one trip.
Never take stuff to the bathroom unless you KNOW no one followed or noticed you. Don't take long in there. Bring sharp knife/boxcutter if you have to open something. Try not to make too much noise or else you WILL be caught by an employee.
If the beeper goes off at the door, keep going like nothing happened or time your exit with other people not with you if at a large store like Walmart. If at small store like a dingy dollar store, go back and tell them you beeped, but don't know why. If they ask what you have, show them what's in the bag. They'll just say to not worry about it and let you go.
Don't pocket the item in the same isle its available in, and make sure no workers or customers are visible from either end. DO NOT look suspicious while checking for others in either direction. Just act natural (advice for every tip, really).
NEVER pocket anything in the electronics section of big stores like Best Buy or Wal-Mart. Those are the places they actually watch the cameras/have working cameras.
Don't be an idiot.
Be white.

I'll post more tips if I think of any. Have had to steal many times during holidays, to make money for bills, and for medicine/basic necessities for kids and others at my home. Living poor can suck, but hey, you learn a lot.

>shit is getting moved from one room of my workplace to make it another office.
>I get asked to help.
>Gladly help.
>See that there are bunch of laptops (thinkpad, asus, hp and shit) all piled up in a corner with respective chargers.
>Boxes full of routers, switches, modems and network shit.
>Start moving laptops and stuff.
>Hear ppl talking about how all this is unaccounted and shit.
>grab a box put a think pad and charger on bottom, 2 network switches, 3 routers and a modem.
>Fill the rest of it with cables and more shit.
>go as a detour to my office.
>Open my backpack and get laptop routers switches and crap.
>Finish moving shit and go back to work.
>No one realised the loss of stuff.
>Got a new computer.
>No fucks given

>>583929834
>be about eight year ago, I'm working nights at a printing firm
>next door is a huge kitchen and bathroom showroom
>once or twice a year sometimes they rip out all the displays and put them in a dumpster
>we see this and each night we rescue much of the stuff
>unused cookers, fridges and washing machines were stored in a 40' container waiting to be sent for scrap
>we would drag it into the factory, check it, clean it up and sell it online
>made a lot of money that way.

>>583944582
stretch her arms out, placing her hands flat on thick wooden boards, palms up, and nail three fingers on each hand, at random, to the wood by their tips. This causes her to regain consciousness and she starts screaming. After I’ve sprayed Mace into her eyes, mouth, into her nostrils, I place a camel-hair coat from Ralph Lauren over her head, which drowns out the screams, sort of. I keep shooting nails into her hands until they’re both covered—nails bunched together, twisted over each other in places, making it impossible for her to try and sit up. I have to remove her shoes, which slightly disappoints me, but she’s kicking at the floor violently, leaving black scuff marks on the stained white oak. During this period I keep shouting “You bitch” at her and then my voice drops to a raspy whisper and into her ear I drool the line “You fucking cunt.”

Finally, in agony, after I’ve taken the coat off her face, she starts pleading, or at least tries to, the adrenaline momentarily overpowering the pain. “Patrick oh god stop it please oh god stop hurting me…” But, typically, the pain returns—it’s too intense not to—and she passes out again and vomits, while unconscious, and I have to hold her head up so she doesn’t choke on it and then I Mace her again. The fingers I haven’t nailed I try to bite off, almost succeeding on her left thumb which I manage to chew all the flesh off of, leaving the bone exposed, and then I Mace her, needlessly, once more.

>>583945190
I place the camel-hair coat back over her head in case she wakes up screaming, then set up the Sony palm-sized Handycam so I can film all of what follows. Once it’s placed on its stand and running on automatic, with a pair of scissors I start to cut off her dress and when I get up to her chest I occasionally stab at her breasts, accidentally (not really) slicing off one of her nipples through the bra. She starts screaming again once I’ve ripped her dress off, leaving Bethany in only her bra, its right cup darkened with blood, and her panties, which are soaked with urine, saving them for later.

I lean in above her and shout, over her screams, “Try to scream, scream, keep screaming…” I’ve opened all the windows and the door to my terrace and when I stand over her, the mouth opens and not even screams come out anymore, just horrible, guttural, animal-like noises, sometimes interrupted by retching sounds. “Scream, honey,” I urge, “keep screaming.” I lean down, even closer, brushing her hair back. “No one cares. No one will help you…” She tries to cry out again but she’s losing consciousness and she’s capable of only a weak moan. I take advantage of her helpless state and, removing my gloves, force her mouth open and with the scissors cut out her tongue, which I pull easily from her mouth and hold in the palm of my hand, warm and still bleeding, seeming so much smaller than in her mouth, and I throw it against the wall, where it sticks for a moment,

>>583943350
I have to return some videotapes

>>583945334
leaving a stain, before falling to the floor with a tiny wet slap. Blood gushes out of her mouth and I have to hold her head up so she won’t choke. Then I fuck her in the mouth, and after I’ve ejaculated and pulled out, I Mace her some more.

Later, when she briefly regains consciousness, I put on a porkpie hat I was given by one of my girlfriends freshman year at Harvard.

“Remember this?” I shout, towering over her. “And look at this!” I scream triumphantly, holding up a cigar. “I still smoke cigars. Ha. See? A cigar.” I light it with steady, bloodstained fingers, and her face, pale to the point of blueness, keeps contracting, twitching with pain, her eyes, dull with horror, close, then open halfway, her life reduced to nightmare.

“And another thing,” I yell, pacing. “It’s not Carrick Anderson either. The suit is by Armani! Giorgio Armani.” I pause spitefully and, leaning into her, sneer, “And you thought it was Henry Stuart. Jesus.” I slap her hard across the face and hiss the words “Dumb bitch,” spraying her face with spit, but it’s covered with so much Mace that she probably can’t even feel it, so I Mace her again and then I try to fuck her in the mouth once more but I can’t come so I stop.

>>583945490
>>583945334
>>583945190
You're welcome

>>583943508
Was Studying for a French exam
prolly should have mentioned It beforehand

>>583943147
0K , so not much happened after that
>I told the clerk l'd think about it for the Vape
>Me and friend went on our way
>About 15 minutes later we crossed the two stoners again, they seemed to be in a hurry and looking for something or Someone
>luckily they didn't even noticed us

>I don't like drugs and wigger friend has been clean for 2 years after the court sent him to detox
>We Sold that shit to that Stoner chick We know
>There was 7grams
>easiest 50 bucks I had made in a long time

>>583943147
this dude needed over 50 minutes to write that post. wtf

>>583935642
I think you and I are about the same level of criminal accomplishment.

>>583932861

skimmers are like 5k, how the fuck do you expect to extract one from a camera or memory chip

>>583946102
Still Studying for that French exam

About you go back to your Chinese Anime

>>583944902
Pretty sure it was the summer of the year i turned 18. Could be wrong, 9years of partying and drug abuse, well time kind of blurs.

>>583932861
>"petty thievery is for stupid niggers"
>steals shit from inside peoples' cars

>>583935880
>does crime
>is nice about it

>>583946523
your statement about chinese animes really hurt my feelings bro.

>>583940224
>(this process took me about a year)
>4 hours of work made me 180k.
>a year
>4 hours

kill yourself

>>583942961
Backstabbing snake with a friendly grin.

REALLY good method here:
>Buy some expensive product that is in a box.
>Open the box CAREFULLY, replace product with brick or something that weighs a lot.
> Close the box, make it look like you never opened it.
>Return it, bring receipt, they won't open to check.
>Get return money in cash, anonymous.

I've done this with shit worth 10k, gotten away every time.

Tips:
Wear a suit and a hat, nobody suspects you and cameras won't see your face.

Pay in cash, ALWAYS

Do it in another town, preferably another state or country even.

>>583948453

this. is. genius.

>>583948453
>>583948453

what did you do this with? laptop? or what

>>583948453
ive refunded a lot of things and they always look.

always.

>>583936326
ANYNE KNOW SAUCE

>>583949108

fuck.

>>583949108
Things usually have a seal that breaks if you open the box. Peel off that seal, take out your shit and put the seal on again.

If the seal's not broken, they won't check unless you look like a crackhead.

>>583949108
It probably depends on which store it is, and who works there.

>>583948453
Kind of tempted to play along but...guys dont do this. It's mail fraud lpl

>>583948980
Yeah, a lot of shit.
A mixer, a pedalboard, even the macbook that i'm writing on now.

Macbooks are prob hard to do now though, since the packaging's kinda weird.

This is the only reason to ever watch a unboxing video.

>>583942961
gr8 b8 m8 i r8 8/8

It would be a felony lol

>>583949609
Yeah if you want to you can check with another product before just to see if they look.

If they do look, just walk out of the store, avoid cameras, go home to your home state.
Nobody'll have the effort to trace you down for it.

>>583945107
They won't "let it go", they'll check the receipt. Don't get caught; your childruns need you

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>>583949960

>>583948453
Yeah btw being white is required for pulling this off, so is not dressing like a nigger.

Nobody will suspect a well groomed man in a suit of committing thefts.

Yeah I scrambled what he wrote.
It was retarded. Nah what he's doing Is also pretty stupid and will get you arrested. Seriously the more expensive shit they'll check, the cheaper not worth the risk.

There's easier illegal ways to make money

>>583950821

like

itt how to be a nigger

>>583950821
Please tell me the other ways.

>>583951258
>how to nigger

I used to be a small time lifter. Would steal electronics and tools and sell them on craigslist or pawn shop. Probably made $400 during my career, but i was 15 with no job so i though i was one rich ass fucker.

>>583945636
That was fucking beautiful. Didn't you kill Bethany with a nail gun?

>>583929834

If you're stealing from someone you don't intend to pay back, fuck you.

This kind of shit is pathetic.

Buy a lock picking set and learn how to pick locks amazing how many people put crap locks on garages/sheds/bikes.

>>583953007
*steal a lock picking set

>>583953124
wut if its locked

>>583953007
I'm a noob at lockpicking. Is it like any other skill, just pick your own locks for practice and you just get good?

>>583953319
take the lock aswell, to hone your picking skills

>>583953574
>>583953124
BUMP KEYS FAGGOTS

>>583953574
>>
Kinda.
A>>583953574
All locks are similar but not the same, if you can get good at a specific brand you should normally be able to pick that lock convincingly most the time.
However, if you're too familiar with a particular lock i.e your own. you might struggle despite thinking you're good because you practiced the same thing 1000 times.

tl;dr Practice on a lot of different locks.

>>583953574
yes there are certain techniques about 7 in all, if one doesn't work go to the next one. You can youtube it some guys have very good videos which will teach you the techniques.

>>583937215
I did this by accident a while ago. Scanned and bagged £15 worth of stuff, then walked out. I realised halfway out the door that I hadn't paid but I decided to just roll with it. Haven't been back, gonna shop elsewhere for a while.

>>583953649
lel

Master Criminal

Tips Fedora

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>>583952354
Because that's a great fucking idea, cuntfag.

>>583937770
http://www.sextvx.com/en/video/434265/lesbian-alyssa-reece-malena-morgan

>>583940217

getting robbed by a fucking paki

you utter pussy

>>583937215
i just scan one item and put two the bag (hold two item in your hand scan only one, both in the bag), the weight thing goes off or something, just get the guy to swipe his card and carry on.

>>583929834
Hey thieves and crooks. How do I become a mob enforcer?

>>583933159
good story kiddo

Self scanning

Go to discount aisle take discount sticker of item

stick it on item you want

>>583937215
Here's another angle for those who are crafty fixer types who like to do side work for extra cash:
>Do side work for people
>Handyman type work
>Write up and sign get contract signed every time
>Make it straight up time & material based; as needed.
>This motivates you to do a skilled job and complete it, but also covers you when...
>Every now and again there is some cunt who is never satisfied or attempts to change the terms of the contract to short change me or bilk you for labor
>These type generally have enough catch phrases to throw around to convey a sense of them knowing exactly what the fuck you're doing or fixing
>These types are always never satisfied
>Two can play that game...
>Fix their stupid asses as follows
>Go to tool supply store like Gray Bar or Platt
>Buy a bunch of killer tools and supplies that are "needed" to complete the job
>Bill the customer for it

Generally this method will come to a blow out in the end, but this is a client you didn't want to retain anyways, so that's generally when you produce the signed contract and tell them that if they don't pay you for the work completed as well as the supplies needed for the job, that you'll wrap his ass up in court and lean his property. Home owners don't want that mess, even if they plan on dying in that house and never selling. Creditors will see the lean on the property and all kinds of red flags will go up.

Protip: Never leave tools and expensive supplies at work areas where the customer is a fucking nazi.

>Petty faggot thief
>Go to Macy's
>See this nice backpack
>Smush it down flat, carry with me
>Go to clearance area, out of camera sight
>Take off peacoat, put on backpack
>Peacoat back on, pack flat enough that it doesn't bulge the jacket
>Grab some other shit, underwear, socks, stuffed down the front of the pants.
>Bought a pair of jeans to not be completely conspicuous.

Don't be too friendly (Say hi, wave, w/e, just don't get into some big happy go lucky convo, especially after milling around and being suspicious as shit.), have a game plan long before you go in to lift, don't grab anything with an ink tag unless you have a strong magnet, buy -something-, makes you look less like a first time shitter. Have fun, don't get busted, don't steal from mom and pop stores.