Sh0ta thread? Sh0ta thread.
Ok, have to do some things for a little bit. Be back in like half an hour probs.
im going to be 20 soon.
i feel so sad. i feel so old.
im honestly crying. wtf is wrong with me
I feel like im going nowhere. And idk... i have issues. i honestly couldnt tell you, i just suddenly developed a fear of tacking on a year to my age. its unsettlingly saddening
sounds depressing anon.
whats to enjoy. everything i "enjoy" is just a distraction from my lack of progress or luck with my dreams.
Everyone have issues. And don't fool yourself, there's no luck in fulfilling your dreams. Only sacrifice and hard work. Things like that you don't get done by moping and whining.
I have been. iv done nothing but suffer and power on my whole life.
i used to be so much... better at dealing with life's curve balls.
I do, but at the end of the day at 8 in the morning with obligations to fulfill the coming day i find myself in a shota thread looking for support in the only place i feel comfortable showing that im not perfect. Im the most patient person i know, things will happen if/when they happen and thats final, but at the same time you must admit to yourself that no progress is no progress
i know but i cant shake this gut feeling.
all iv ever wanted was a meaningful relationship. someone i could trust. someone who could have no off limits areas. someone i could love. I could be dirt poor and happy if i could just find a worthwhile human in this absolutely Fucked up world
That is one feeling I have never understood about other people. I am content to live alone forever, I have never looked for a relationship and I don't want one. I almost take pride in solitude. Absolute freedom.
but that is just me.
There is an old saying that goes:
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
Yeah fuck that guy.
I think it has to do with the romanticized notion of love. In reality, the only 'real' difference between a good friend and a good relationship partner is sex/physical affection but that's not really necessary for happiness. Nor is friendship, really, if you think a certain way.
But you can't tell me that a companion of some kind, friend or otherwise, isn't at least potentially enjoyable.
i dont just want a random relationship. What passes as a relationship nowadays isnt in the same galaxy as what i actually want.
If im to go on in life without seeing anything that reminds me of me and that doesnt enjoy me, then ill forever feel utterly deattached with reality. Ill forever feel like an alien in an unknowing, uncaring world, and with that, ill never feel at peace. Trust me, if i could just sleep forever and live with my alter ego as my lover in my dreams, id do it over this bland, bitter experience. Absolute solitude is nice, but not being able to see another worthy human being in the world is just draining. The ultimate triviality, waking up and knowing that everyone you interact with will either be too dense to connect with, uninterested, preoccupied, or otherwise unviable.
is onto something. Im a natural romeo, but it goes past love. Any barriers (such as physical) just makes it feel fake. I can have friends, great ones even, but its just not what i feel would complete me.