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Lifeguard thread...go!

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 124
Thread images: 59

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Lifeguard thread...go!
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Bump
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>>583705120
>>583705646
Being a lifeguard is mainly dull
The most common injury is old people slipping on wet floors and breaking fragile bones, or children pushing each other over. Between shifts we clean the changing rooms/toilets/put away equipment and have to stare directly at the pool for up to 90 minutes on end between cleaning breaks
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moar pls
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>>583705120
>>583705808
well , yeah, look at her face, do you really think a retarded girl like that (no pump intended) could do any other job besides cleaning and stare to a pool??
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>>583705120
Some people stand in the darkness
Afraid to step into the light
Some people need to help somebody
When the edge of surrenders in site

Don't you worry,
It's gonna be alright
'Cause I'm always ready
I won't let you outta my sight

(I'll be ready) I'll be ready
(Whenever you fear) oh don't you fear
(I'll be ready)
Forever and always, I'm always here
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>>583705120
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>>583706241
She's probably just dressing up like it, never be allowed ear-rings on the job

You wouldn't believe what disabled retards they let pass the life guarding tests though
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>>583706362
>>583706441
keep 'em coming!
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>>583705120
that b*tcxh b uner&ge
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>>583706662
oh i see, yeah im sure some lifeguards are normal people, even cool, but jesus the ones i had on my pool are just plain dumb freaks or retarded betas
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>>583706801
prove it
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>>583706241
implying you actually need to be smart to be a lifeguard...
>can you swim?
>yes
>can you do cpr?
>yes
>are you in good shape?
>yes
>YOU ARE HIRED!
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>>583706662
ARC certified lifeguard instructor here

he's right. at the start of the season, most pool companies push a fuck ton of guards through a class taught by instructor on their payroll as a formality. everybody passes, it's about getting bodies in chairs, not about making sure people are safe. I'm lucky enough to be an instructor at a facility that doesn't do this, but I dont know how many McLifeguards I've had to recertify that didn't know any of the skills or have any of the requisite knowledge
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>>583706924
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Fucking once, the random spam posting actually ties up with the thread!
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I swam 50 free and 100 breastsrtoke
so I re reiterate
that bitch is undertage
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>>583707371
go to bed, dude. you're drunk!
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>>583707086
The tests for the British Lifeguarding Qualification are pretty rigorous and thorough, I only complain because they let two people pass it who shouldn't have at my centre.

>>583707114
Most of the staff and procedures I respected there, I think the manager on the test just let them pass out of sympathy. Doesn't matter though, if he can't get to the bottom of the pool he shouldn't be watching over it

>>583707371
Any good times? I had 50m breaststroke 30.1s, never got a regional though
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>>583707487
>if he can't get to the bottom of the pool he shouldn't be watching over it
god damn, are you me?
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>>583707487
Yeah UK lifeguard here, 4 years so qualified twice. First time at leisure centre and had our asses worked for a week to pass. Second time at pool I work at, girl forgot what to do and examiner talked her through it. I do mornings and get fucked over by the crap people leave the night before.
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Drunk bastard here
I would love to 'boot
but where r those olynpic shoots at
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>>583708198
Only did mine once, worked at the Stratford upon avon place. Never minded the mornings, closing up often ran late (after midnight for a 10:30 shut) which sucked more. The girls changing rooms were nasty as hell

>>583708009
>tfw he literally couldn't get under the surface
>due to his enormous weight of fat keeping him bobbing up
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>>583706441
Moar!
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keep ur bullshit thread going mods
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>>583708490
oh, fuck me man, I had a guard like that.

she was like 400 lbs, and we had to do the modified brick tow, for reasons
(instead of rescuing the brick from deep water, it was shallow water (6ft or less) but the rescuer had to be submerged for 10-15 yards before they got to the brick)
this bitch couldn't stay under to save her life, let alone a drowning victim.
failed that bitch, no fucks given
>if you cant do the prereq's, dont come to my class, we dont give refunds
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>>583708805
This guy was around the same weight. Nice guy, we all felt bad for him but he couldn't even straddle jump without going straight under water and then bobbing back up. Worse thing is we have a 3m deep end, he'd just be turning upside down constantly watching someone drown

Good on you mate, not worth the risk passing them
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i have no lifeguards but i submit a hot athletic girl instead
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bumping this
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>>583710808
hnng
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>>583705947
/thread
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>>583709096
>mfw he calls the stride jump a 'straddle jump'

fuck these crappy guards that just want an easy job man. If I dont feel confident they could make an actual save, they dont get certified. I always hate to be overdramatic, but lives could literally be on the line.
people dont realize how heavy a drowning victim at the bottom of the pool with lungs filled with water actually is
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me
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c'mon /b/ros, i can't keep this going by myself

post'em!
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>>583705947
>Skip leg day
>>
These pics make me so sad. M here, and I work as a lifeguard at an indoor waterpark. We have no chicks as hot as these.
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>>583712427
here, found bigger version
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>>583712903
Goddamn this chick is hot.. Id definitely fake drowning with her around

Then the challenge would be to convince her I'll die if I don't get a handjob..
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>>583711667
what is it in this thread with all these low resolution pics?
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>>583711371
>>583711667
Nice.
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>>583713445
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>>583713445
another
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>>583713445
and the last one in my collection
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>>583712606
marissa?
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>>583713951
>>583713819
>>583713689
>>583713445
>>583711667
>>583711371

wow. 321 = helen of troy
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bump
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thread...must

survive
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>>583715512
such an amazingly fit body. but that head. it's a butterface.
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>>583716878
>>583717019
>>583717158
HNNG moar
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found some great ones, sexy lass, but its a goddamn stock website.. fuck
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>>583717760
fffffuuuu-
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General Toes Chicken
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>>583718465

so are these like specifically all girl life guard groups or have guys not discovered this gold mine?
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>>583718571
>>583718625
>>583718697
holy shit /b/ro, is that from a video? Either way go on
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>>583718697
>>583718625
>>583718571
http://rzulviu.soup.io/friends?since=279634144
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>>583717307
Sorry I looked for more on their facebooks but alas, that's all
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My gf was a lifeguard and her suit was the least sexy suit you could possibly think of. She was fit as fuck though cause she was a competitive swimmer in college
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>>583719180
http://scene-porn.com/want-to-be-my-lifeguard/
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>>583705120
wtf..MODS
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>>583719779
you are the worst kind of faggot
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>>583720025
, the gay kind
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porn hub link, love the lil chinky mexican one

/view_video.php?viewkey=990691842
>>
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDvFzITGHrw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT_r7_uFUl8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5lS5KnHo4s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFFWup81PWY

more of the same lifeguard chicks
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>>583720909
nice!
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>>583721018
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bamp
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>>583721095
oh christ, those black fingernails
wish her toenails were visible
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>>583705808
Wrong. I was a lifeguard in highschool for a summer. It was primarily creeping behind sunglasses for a few hours and then banging your coworkers on the daily. When I did it pretty much everyone fucked everyone.
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take the S off speedo
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you killing me smalls, killin me!
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>>583705120
>>583706362
To be a registered lifeguard, you need to be about 16 in most places - coincidently that's a legal age of consent in most places too.
To purchase a bikini that says "guard" or lifeguard on it - you need money...

Thanks for the child porn bro
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>>583721706
American Red Cross lifeguards must be 15 before the date they test out of the class
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>>583721590

You mean the S and an e right...Idiot! At least learn how to spell.
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>>583721857
shiiiit I'm getting spelling lessons off a fag
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>>583721435
search on mless for lifeguard, shes there
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>>583713689

> Green ring

Holy fuck, someone actually bought a green ring...
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>>583722479
what's the significance of a green ring?
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>>583722587
it means youre on team lorax
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>>583722920
*sigh*
and what is team lorax
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So /b/, why haven't you tried to drown yourself at a beach yet?
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>>583722990
it means youre anti-onceler, damn dude didnt you read your dr seuss?!
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>>583719779
fucking 10 year olds
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>>583723032
Fake drowning for mouth kisses, a la sand lot, doesn't work.
It's super easy to tell who is and is not faking, and even if you could manage, and could manage to fake not breathing long enough to get through a primary assessment, lifeguards use a ventilation mask.
no more lip to lip contact, if they dont have their mask, they dont give ventilations, it's negligent to do so
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>>583709402
Damn that grill behind her must be jealous as fuck
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>>583722587

>http://www.usa.canon.com/cusa/consumer/products/cameras/ef_lens_lineup/ef_70_300mm_f_4_5_5_6_do_is_usm


It's Canon's creepshot lens. A powerful zoom that is the size of a normal lens. But the image quality isn't great, so I've never seen one IRL.
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>>583705808
if you were at the community pool by my house I would have eagerly sucked your cock before presenting you with my ass.
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>>583723584
See, this is why I avoid community pools.
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>>583725016
more
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>>583725464
its here >>583719725
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>>583705646

I'll lose my dick fucking her
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>>583711371
the butterface is strong with this one
>>
Call me 6145196662
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>>583706801
old enough to guard lives = old enough to take it in the pooper
Thread posts: 124
Thread images: 59


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