>Have no friends first 2 years of college >Meet girl that's exactly like me in the same situation >She's older than me, so not gf material, like best friend material >Decide we're going to room together for her last semester in the spring >So happy over the summer. I don't have any real friends at home, but we text all day and play games online at night >Played virtually every night of the summer, even on vacation >When it got time to play Diablo at night I would sit there with her contact open on my phone waiting for the text bubble to pop up >Couldn't wait until the semester >Semester starts and everything is great, we spend like 100% of the time together. Walk to and from school, eat lunch, watch tv, eat dinner, Diablo, pretty much every day >I know it sounds like relationship shit, but it wasn't, just neither of us had any other friends >However, several weeks into the semester she started getting really distant. Started treating me like an annoyance whenever I wanted to hang out, talk, do basically anything >Try to do those things less, but she just keeps saying I'm doing them too much and keeps getting more distant, bitter >Keep trying to ask her whats wrong, she just shuts the conversation down >About a month ago, her birthday was coming up. She didn't know I knew the date, told me she didn't want to celebrate, never does >I thought she didn't want to celebrate, so I left her a gift and a card in the morning, bought a cake for later >She doesn't come home. Tells me she's going to be at school working all day. Won't be back until well after dinner. No mention of gift or card. >Find out she's been out celebrating all day with people she just met. She'd rather spend the day with them than me. Didn't even want me knowing it's her birthday. >Return the cake, cry >Confront her when she gets back on why she's been treating me like a stranger and giving me the cold shoulder >She argues and then starts crying. >Continued...
>>583648954 >Continued >I leave the apartment for the weekend. >Come back to receive the silent treatment >Tell her I'm really sorry I made her cry on her birthday, I was just really upset. >Try to ask why she's been treating me this way when we were best friends a month ago >She says if I ask her again we are no longer friends >I know that means it's already over >Figure she might forgive me with time >It's been a month, she's actually gotten worse. Doesn't even say hello or goodbye anymore. Avoids me like the plague. >There's 1 week of school left then she moves home. If she goes like this I'll probably never see her again >When I used to say I was going to be said when she leaves she would say "don't worry, it'll be just like it was over the summer" >I really wish that were still the case >I'm just worried she's going to just leave for the airport without saying anything and that's going to be the last I ever see of her >I'll never know why she seems to hate me >I'll never play Diablo with her again, let alone hang out in person >Now I'm just sitting here crying because I'm about to go back to having no friends. >I've got a week left to fix this. I don't know if it's possible, but I've got to try.
Bruh, if she's a cunt, she's not worth your fucking time. Go make friends. Do something new, meet people. Try something you've always wanted to. Say hey to a few people or some shit. Get the fuck away from her, she's a bitch.
>>583648987 Dude you put yourself in the friendzone. You should've made a move form the start. Now she's met other guys, knows your interested but isnt interested herself and you're nagging her. I'd kick th ebitch out and cold shoulder her until whatever asshole she's dating cheats on him and if she ever contacts you again ignore her some more until she is desperate.
She Probably felt like she was getting bro zoned, What would you do when a girl you liked never wanted to date you? You'd probably stop talking to them because you got sad and what not. She tried to remove you from her life to not feel like crap every time you do something with her. Then she found new friends and left you out of it to try to get the memory of you out of her head.
TL;DR, shoulda dated her if you wanted to keep her.
>>583651882 It's not like I just latched onto the first bitch to show an interest in me. She was literally female me. Everyone in our dorm would say that. That's why I started hanging out with her. Physically, she looks like me, gender-swapped, we dress exactly the same, play all the same games, same political views/opinions, we very often do that twin thing where you say the exact same thing at the same time. It was like having 2 of me around. It was pretty awesome while it lasted.
She's stubborn as shit, but so am I. She's being antisocial, but that's part of the reason I liked her in the first place.
Does this shitcunt not realize that its easier for women to make the first move on account of the fact that they have the pussy? If she wanted a relationship she could've done something about it, and if didn't well then she's just a bitch.
>>583648954 dude, you cried, its a relationship, its just you didn't know it. She got pissed because you didn't acknowledge it or tell her what she wanted to hear, a.k.a. its a relationship. If you want to fix it, call her out on her shit, and don't apologize. Man the fuck up, if she cold shoulders you, walk away, from here it goes two ways, she doesn't contact you and you know its over, she tries to contact you, you know she still likes you
There's one part I left out: Last week I saw a text on her phone from her dad about what an idiot I am and knew that her hatred of me was much further gone than I thought. I obviously said didn't tell her I saw it, but I was pissed off beyond belief because I had been as nice to her as humanly possible recently.
I used that anger as motivation. I went on the internet and found a new roommate that is everything this girl is not. My current roommate think's she's really hot, when she's a 6.5 at best, is obsessed with fashion and aspired to be a model and thinks she can sing, but sucks at it.
My new roommate is a professional fashion model, sings in theater and is like 9/10. Actually, I pretty much hit the jackpot. I have no illusion I'm going to bang her, but she seems really cool and the fact that this woman who is everything my "friend" is not will be sleeping in her bed will surely piss her off.
>>583648987 she realized how beta and loser you are and is trying not to associate with you anymore because all you do is keep her down. she was just using you while she was getting her shit together too.
>>583653312 Just say to her that you wanna talk and be really serious. Then when you have the chance say it. Everything that's troubleing you with this problem. What you feel about the situation and about her. Be really sincere and ask her to be sincere too. You'll not loose anything because you don't have a relationship(even as friends) with her anymore. Just go m8. Be real to her. And you should talk about this with someone, too, even if it's your family.
As a femanon, I feel like she put up walls and distanced herself so when she leaves it won't hurt her as much. It would be easier to leave with neutral if not negative feelings opposed to being sad and missing someone. She could also be hurt because you bro zoned her, when she could have actually been diggin' you from the start and assumed you would make the first move, and when you didn't she felt like she wasn't good enough. Females are weird creatures man, I am one and I still don't understand my own kind at times.
>>583648954 tell her you miss her but not in a faggot ass way. romantic, not weird.
tell her she needs to cooperate to find a solution to this bullshit stalemate or itll be *really* over, in which case you throw away everything she gave you in a way so she notices. like pile all of the pictures and shit into a trashcan you both use, with the point being to show affection and care as a last-ditch effort to corner her into choosing a heavy ultimatum.
>>583655798 A week ago, before things were confirmed for fubar, I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies and see Interstellar for old times sake. I said that we hadn't hung out in a long time and that I'm really going to miss her when she's gone.
She said I was trying to "emotionally manipulate" her into doing things. She said she had too much homework and then spent the entire day playing Civ 5 in her room. It's pretty much been gg since then.
>>583655554 >she could have actually been diggin' you from the start and assumed you would make the first move this mentality destroyed my love life because i wasnt sure and didnt want to risk fucking up what relationship there was between us why will women never make a move? why would they sooner let the chance of a relationship die away before being the one to come onto a guy?
she's got either mental problems or is just a total cunt.
either way horrible personality traits and will lead to regret and time wasted years down the road, drop it and let her be crazy by herself, trust me, I wish I'd heeded my own advice years ago, I could have been with who I'm with now years sooner.
Everyone I tell about this says that, but I really don't think it's the case. If there were one real sign she was interested, I'd believe it, but in months of constant interaction, I never saw anything I'd consider interest.
Over the summer, she used to call me up drunk at least once a week. Even drunk, she never let anything slip, I don't think she was interested.
Hey kids, want a tip? Don't about what you're "supposed" to do, care about what you want to do. If you like her as a friend, keep her as a friend. If you like her as a woman, try to make her your woman. If she feels the opposite you do, it's "her fault" (none's fault really, it is what it is), so you shouldn't feel bad. If she can't be mature enough to understand that, let it go. Drama is for actors and teenage girls, you cunts.
>>583656440 This shit pisses me off so fucking much. I have a shitload of matches on Tinder and I almost never message them just because I want to see if they'll fucking step up and message first. Only one fucking girl did and when I responded to her flirting she straight up autismed the fuck out and logged off and hasn't been back on since.
Going to strip clubs and fucking whores is so much simpler. At least with them you don't need to be a fucking psychic to get laid.
>>583659963 Sware on me mum. She currently commutes 2 hours to her agency and needed a place to live immediately. She came to see the place and really liked it. We're meeting tomorrow night so she can sign the lease.
>>583660473 I'm 2/3rds of the way to closure. I got someone better than her to replace her, I know I've done everything in my power to fix things, I just need to know why she hates me or it's going to haunt me forever.
It might sound like a waste of time to have tried so hard to fix things with her, but I know how my own brain works and if I didn't do everything I could I'd be spending the next 5 years awake at night wondering what I could have done. It was worth it to not have to worry about that.
>>583660150 That's what I meant, he wants her as a friend. We're not sure why she drifted away, some said it might be because she was bro-zoned. However, the fact is that she's distancing herself, meaning she wants something different from OP, so he shouldn't make a drama about it and try to play mind games. Eitherway, it'd be better to just accept it and find new friends.
>>>583651882 >Physically, she looks like me, gender-swapped, we dress exactly the same, play all the same games, same political views/opinions, we very often do that twin thing where you say the exact same thing at the same time. It was like having 2 of me around.
I don't understand. Why didn't you want to Fuck yourself? I would. I'd Fuck me hard
>>583661180 Why not just get angry? Fucking push her. Get the answer out of her, or dismiss her and her bullshit. You may have cared about her, but if she's leaving you behind, the most you could do is find out why, then go with this girl. Leave her ass right back.
>>583661180 Dude, seriously, let it go. You can't fix this kind of female behavior bullshit, and you can't try to beat yourself up over it and dwell on it retrospectively. It wasn't your fault. Let. It. Go. Look forward, not back. Worrying about why people do such incomprehensible things is just wasted energy, if not outright self destructive. People are crazy, such is life. I've been there man, god have I been there.
Shift all the energy you might have put into figuring out what, if anything, you did, or didn't do, and put it instead into improving yourself. Get out, get some exercise, go to a book store, find something that you want to read for your own pleasure, go find a new genre of music to explore, anything. Don't dwell on craziness.
Don't try to understand it OP, and don't try to resolve it. If anything, it's a good preview of what dating the bitch woulda been like anyway. Just tell her you get it, and that you'll stay out of her way for the next week. The guilt will hopefully make her try to kill herself, theny ou can get sympathy poon.
But in all seriousness, who cares why she's doing what she's doing. Excise the cancer and move on OP. You'll meet new people. Live on res, you're still young. Dorms is a great way to meet people.
>>583662406 Not so much. Only if she was shallow as fuck. And it seems like that if that were the case, than OP is just as shallow and can move on just as fast, and we don't need to be having this thread.
Okay OP, here's how you get a response. You've gone about this like a bitch so far, begging her for attention and trying to get her to talk to you. You're giving this bitch all the power so she can step all over your feelings. Start drinking in the middle of the day or some time you know she'll be coming home soon or be home most of the day. Hang out in the living room or something and it'll probably catch her off guard, and just be a drunk idiot and ask her "wtf, why were we such good friends if you hate me so much" "why would you be my best friend and then fucking turn on me" just say stupid shit and call her out for what she did. Let her know that it was all really fucking shitty. Whether she gets upset or not it doesn't matter, you'll probably get an answer. Just don't scream or get physical or give her a reason to call the cops. This is pretty emotionally manipulative but she already accused you of that anyway so might as well
>>583661180 I don't know why you care so much about the personal reasons of a so called "friend" that started hating you, be your own man. If a girl like that gets you down, you probably won't make it far in life.
>>583662876 Jesus. This behavior is absolutely mental. If this is how all females are, I think I'm going to hang up my jersey before I get started.
How can any human being have this sort of resent for so long? It's been a month of the silent treatment. She spends all day alone in her room. She sits on a fucking ottoman to watch tv on her computer monitor when I'm watching the same fucking show on the couch in the living room.
What gets me the most is that she's ok with it. We were best friends, how could she not miss me at all? It's not like she found something better, she's actively choosing isolation over me. She knows full well that all she'd need to do is say the word and I'd hang with her again. It's insane.
I'm the opposite of an expert in women, but this model this is pretty much guaranteed to fuck with her head right? I mean, someone that's pretty much everything she wants to be, replacing her and sleeping in her own bed.
>>583653312 the answer is simple. she did indeed have romantic feelings for you only to find out that you are /actually/ long-separated siblings. she doesnt know how to break the news to you and its crushing her.
Here's the thing, OP, women don't usually turn on you like that unless you said or did something that really fucked her up. Doesn't sound like you know you did it, but you did. That said, this girl is an immature cunt for not talking it out with you like an adult. Avoiding you, talking shit about you, and excluding you are petty ass fucking ways to show that she is angry. There's no way to resolve things with a person like that. I know it sucks, but ignore that passive aggressive bitch and make new friends.
>>583648954 so looks like your "friend" thinks you're a complete loser hate to say it, but when she was nice she was without "those other" people, but all along she wanted to BE those other people cut to your friend actually befriending those other people, she now realizes what a complete beta faggot your are who wants to hibernate in their room all day playing vidya those others are a bunch a normies who dont like faggots like you so long story short your "friend" chose the normies over your faggot ass, especially since its her last semester and shes wasting it with a faggot like you oh, and if she's being this cold to you when you're around, chances are the normies and your friend talk mad shit on you all the time to the point where you repulse her now
this prob sound pretty harsh but close to the reality of the situation, your best bet is to move on and be the faggot you are or move on and try to meet some new peeps
either way you just gotta move on, no real hope at this point in time
As another femanon, I concur. She definitely was digging on you, OP. Despite what others here would have you believe, something you did put her off. These things do happen for a reason. I feel like the most likely scenario was that she was digging on you and dropped hints that you didn't notice/misinterpreted and she took it as a rejection. While it could have been because she was moving away, you gotta think that if she were your best friend, distance isn't a big deal. Especially for the tech savvy types like you two. Skype, text, online gaming ... it's not hard.
Not justifying what she's doing, mind you. The way she's handling this is incredibly cunty and she ought to have been straightforward with you about it.
This is what I suggest doing. Outright shut her out of your life and make a point to show off how you're living your own life to the fullest. Nothing eats women up like seeing a dude living it up without them in their lives. And they do notice.
Do not text her. Do not apologize. Don't even tell her to fuck off because that means she's getting a reaction out of you. Just leave things as they are. In a couple of months, i promise that if you two really were so close, she'll be back.
>>583666279 Well the first time wasn't really about her. It was really that that all the people I've ever been friends with always exclude me when it comes to going out with groups to bars and whatnot. She was my closest friends and even she did that to me so it just really sucked. Just teared up a little bit and felt like shit.
But yea, tonight was like full-on faggotry. I just ran the shower so she wouldn't hear me and sat on the bathroom floor and cried like a bitch. I looked in the mirror after and just thought "what have I become?".
>>583669391 The first time you ever really open up to someone and form a connection that erodes this way . . .it hurts man, but if it's any consolation it always hurts the worst the first time. You'll man up from this, walk away with thicker skin and be ultimately better for it.
I mean, it kinda is. A relationship is a function of two people. If you were her kind of person, she'd like you more. Likewise, if she was really a person that was good for you. If she actually like YOU, she wouldn't act like that.
I'm not going to say some people aren't more likeable than others. They are. I've never personally had a problem like yours (I had very few friends in college, because I had a gf that didn't like meeting new people and I spent all my time with her). Every time I've been available for friends, they've flocked. So I get that it's different. I can't say you're awesome and are getting fucked over because I don't know you.
What I CAN say is that when you find people that are right for you, they'll stick around. I have some friends that are truly alone ALL the time, and the largest problem they have is that they don't put themselves out there.
>Be honest about what you love >Find other people that love the same stuff. >Be friends with them.
The only time women aren't open about their problems are when they know in their heart they aren't being sensible. She will look stupid if she tells you why she's all the sudden upset. She doesn't value you as a person anymore but it's not your fault, normal decent people don't dehumanize their friends. That's disgusting behavior, but judging by her dads texts she's either lying about you to him to get support or she's mad you didn't ask her out.
This is going to suck for you for a while, OP. Not gonna lie. But the best thing you could possibly do is to show you give literally no fucks. Cry all you want when you're by yourself but be apathetic towards her.
I mean it on the no texting, talking, etc thing. Like I said, it'll suck. But the thing about women is when we feel for someone we feel really, really deeply. It doesn't just go away over night. Even if it seems she wants nothing to do with you, it's because she's hurt somehow. By doing this you're not outright rejecting her, but keeping your foot in the door.
Look, I won't tell you to let her go. I know that when you connect with somebody so deeply, it's not that easy. Everybody here talks about it like it's the easiest thing in the world. It's really not. And I may be one of the few to tell you that as it stands, I don't believe you should give up. However, you need to leave things be and give time a chance mend, but do not try to push it along. The best thing you could possibly do is focus on you.
This has nothing to do with the Friendzone. Do any of you have any life experience?
This is what is going on OP. She is have an identity crisis. Look, she is almost 30 years old. She is probably doing some reflecting and she realized she has done anything in her life. She doesn't have a career, no husband, no chrildren, no house, playing video games all day and she will be 30. She probably gets a lot of shit from her mother and father for not having these things. She also beats herself up a lot because she can tell she is aging and that no man will want anything to do with her old ass.
Reason why she is getting so distant from you is because of the age difference. She feels like hanging with you makes her feel old. You'rd in your 20s and doing something. She is 30 and doing the same thing.
Only thing to do is try to talk to her, if she doesn't want to listen. You can't do much but just move on.
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