She (literally) never wants to have sex even she enjoys when we have sex. She was a virgin when I met her. She has (literally) never masturbated (even I've bought her bunch of dildos).
We have been together for 5 years but I don't think I want to spend my best years with her. I'm 30 now. I still love her but I want a girl who enjoys sex as much as I do. WTF should I do? I want to dump her but I don't know how, I still love her. :(
>>583531947 Honestly, if you are not compatible sexually and you are already questioning your future sex life - its time to end it and find someone new... maybe she doesn't enjoy sex with you OR she is a lesbian?? Better have that convoy - you'll be cheating or killing in 5 more years... Promise...
>>583531947 you're pathetic. you get a woman willing to have sex with you even though she feels no desire to and the first thing you do instead of talking to her about what you two could do about it is come to /b/ whine like a faggot.
i bet she's not assexual, you just aren't man enough and she isn't a lesbian.
My wife used to be really into sex when we first met and now she is as you described. We started to try and have kids without success and went to a fertility doctor. Turns out her harmones are all fucked up which is why she completely lost her desire for sex. My point is it isn't necessarily something 'psychological' like being asexual, it could just be a harmone issue or something, suggest she ask her gynocologist about it or something.
>>583531947 You're going to break up with her and regret it for the rest of your life, find a new woman before you start jumping to such drastic measures otherwise you might find yourself alone. I would say the fact your getting sex at all is a huge bonus who gives a fuck if she enjoys it or not,like a /b/tard above said your best years are behind you its time to settle, you honestly don't know how good you have it and by the time you realize it will be to late do not trap yourself like that.
>>583531947 Did you also try to spend 5 years trying to play xbox games on your playstation? Like seriously I don't even know how you can go that long without knowing that. You might as well join a Monastery.
similar situation with 22 year old jesus freak, i love her but we had sex a couple times and then it just got less and less frequent and now we haven't had sex in almost 4 months, considering leaving her if it doesn't consistantly change soon
This annon is correct, even if she doesn't let you fuck other girls. >>583532605
My girl isn't into sex as much as I am. She doesn't initiate shit and it pisses me off sometimes. I flat out told her, either we fuck more or you suck me off... we split up which I didn't want to do, or we stay together & you let me get with other girls. Your choice.
Now, I wake up to a mouth on my dick every once in a while and I get a cum swallowing blowjob once a week. She didn't want me to leave & didn't want to share me with other chicks.
My 26 year old gf is similar. She won't get on top, lays there like a bag of fucking potatoes and won't suck me off. Won't even jerk me off. Says her wrist is tired after about 10 seconds of jerking me.
Recently, I woke up at about 4am to her rubbing my cock. I got very excited and started fingering her.. Before I knew it, I was fucking her. That was over a month ago. Id like it more often. She doesn't like the idea of me jerking off to porn, but I do it a few times in the next room when she's asleep. We have a kid, so there's no chance of just leaving her and not looking back.
>>583531947 >best years >30 years old >I wan't to dump her >But i still love her Cheat on her then. >inb4 i don't want to cheat on her You're pretty much asking /b/ to tell you that, or to fucking dump her.
>>583535692 Lack of sexual orientation has been observed in human beings also >She will resist a little at first and then she'll be loving it Could you sound more rapey as well as ignorant?
OP if she isn't into the same sexual things the way you are, she might not be asexual but for whatever reason this will end up becoming a big problem. Before straight up dumping her you really need to sit down with her and have a serious discussion about it. If you can't console your issues then you may need to end it.
>>583534658 >>583531947 you need to explain to her how sex and love can be separated and that under the current arrangements you need to satisfy both separately. It would be the ideal situation to work out your sexual needs emotionlessly with other women but you need to explain to your gf how much it means to you and how you would not be sharing what you have with her with these women.
She's obviously scared that with sex will necessarily go love/affection/commitment so you need to explain to her honestly how that's not the case.
>>583531947 She never masturbate? Well, then you are out odf luck. Her sex drive must be fucked up. Is her parent strict christians or something? Maybe a strict view on sex during her upbringing is the answer.
What's with all the white-knighting in this thread? What has become of /b/? >Fagget, dump the dumb bitch. Don't even ask about "sharing". Find another girl, enjoy your sex life, forget about her. >Not worth, dump or an hero
While doing this you will also find her uttering phrases like "yamete kudasai" and "iyaaaah", then break into tears just to eventually give into it and turn into the dirtiest nympho you've ever seen. amidoinitright?
>>583531947 Also, realize that there is little chance of finding a girl with the the same sexdrive as you. Thats why you fap, but if you aint getting sex like atleast once every 2 weeks, i would just dump her.
I had a girlfriend who didn't want anything to do with sex. Granted she was completely uneducated and extremely religious. (Yes she was also black.) She thought any sexual thoughts she had were sinful which made me even harder when she moaned when I fucked her or ate her out. Seriously you should have heard the noises this girl made. She had never so much as masturbated before she met me. But then after she was done she felt so guilty, sometimes cried. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to go to bed after fucking, not try to console this poor girl as if I raped her or something.
My current girl is the total opposite. She literally wants sex all the time. Sometimes more than I do. She'll wake me up with blowjobs, wait for me in bed with her ass up ready to get fucked. This girl is the best thing that's ever happened to me. And she's a total sweetheart, you wouldn't even know how much of a dirty little slut she is by just looking at her. Plus she's white and she's got the finest ass I've ever seen on a girl. I literally could not give less of a fuck about any other girl I've ever been with. I'm completely in love with this one.
You'll find a girl who's your type OP. Dump this one and find a new one
I was in the same boat as you and it sounds like I wrote that. I am still with her, still love her, still the same boring sex but what I did was find a girl that liked to fuck like I do but she is married and its nothing more than just sex. Here is the best part. My girlfriend is ok with it because she knows that I need sex and she don't but we love to do everything else together.
Fuck off SJW. This anon reqires assistance with a thorny issue, not derision from a neckbearded faggot. The fact that he cares that she doesn't enjoy sex shows that he gives more than two shits about her so take your fedora-clad bullshit elsewhere.
Been with a girl for going on five months now. She claims she's a virgin, and has only done oral sex with two other guys before me. She says she made a promise to herself that she's saving herself until marriage.
In the first few months, we really didn't do anything. In month three, she started opening up more. She gave me head and even let me put the tip inside of her for a few minutes before I "went too deep" and she made me stop.
Overall, it's been weird. She said she needed an "emotional connection" in order to even make out with me, yet there was one day where we fooled around on three separate occasions. I have never seen her that horny since then.
The other night, she said she was horny and finally initiating, something she NEVER does. I was going to take her panties off when I noticed the complete lack of disinterest on her face. She was just laying there. I stopped, put my clothes on. We got into a fight, with her saying that "maybe there's something wrong with me, because I never really have the urge for sex."
I don't get this girl at all. My dick has been nearly halfway inside of her, yet she's still holding out and considers herself a virgin? She flip-flops on this shit and it pisses me the fuck off.
tl;dr: I know I should probably find someone better.
The stark reality of it is, in 2014 if you live in a 1st world country, as a guy you end up doing 80-90 percent of the work and make most of the sacrifices in a relationship. If any of you fuckers are honest with yourselves, most of you would rather hang out with your guy friends or play x-box/whatever then be around a girl you constantly have to impress or pay for shit or whatever the fuck else your doing. Why do that if there is no sex? life is too fucking short. If any of you have an awsome gf/wife that this doesn't apply to great, but most of the ones i've seen/dated it does.
in the same boat OP. Lots of virgins in this thread, ignore them.
It's partially hormones, partially mental. GF went through menopause, and decided she didn't want it anymore. So, I stopped asking. Being in a sexless relationship is a specific type of hell. I've decided to leave her. I'm not old and dead yet. You have to do what's best for you OP. Only you know what that is.
>>583537709 I was there, /bro. Get her to do it again. Promise you'll only put the tip in this time. Draw a line around your dick tip with a permanent marker and promise not to go further.
Then once you get in there, start kissing her neck when you're inside and on top. Start going a little more and a little more and eventually she'll be begging for it. She might resist at first but she'll have her first orgasm and be begging for more.
>>583537609 See, I want my guy to do this. We've been fighting about our sex life for the last three years and I've come to realize that I just don't like the same things in sex as he does all the damn time, and I don't have as a high a sex drive as him. I've tried to bring up the option of him finding just a sex partner about three or four times, but he either says 'maybe' 'there's no one around here', or shoots me down with a firm 'no'. So I let it go.
I know he wants me to enjoy what he likes, but he likes me to be really slutty and watch me get fucked by another guy. Which I can't get in the mood for about 90% of the time. I either have to get tipsy and horny, or on a rare occasion I'll actually want to do it...but most of the time I get a similar feeling to stage fright at the thought of it when he brings it up.
I'm dating a girl who got raped long before I met her except she didnt tell me until after we had sex and she started crying in the middle of it. She has initiated it a few times since but usually she can't continue because she hasn't gotten over that traumatic experience. We still fool around a lot but I don't know. I don't want to have sex with her if she wont feel comfortable and wont enjoy it but I'm never going to break up with her because of it
A. You break it off and then enjoy your life B. You drag this out for a couple more years until you become so frustrated you cry yourself to sleep over wasting your twenties and early thirties, and you cheat or you convince her to let you sleep around. After you awkwardly start doing this, you find out real bonding doesn't start until after you start having regular sex. She's gonna get jealous and you're gonna discover you've wasted your life in more ways than you previously thought and you were just scared of being alone, and you still leave her.
>>583534465 >>583535194 It will change. After he leaves, when she goes through a crisis and winds up trying to make him jelly. She's gonna try to get under his skin. If he pokerfaces it she's gonna full on crash and burn.
>>583538353 Stop being a fogget virgin. The neck is just a spot to get her worked up and distracted. Your dick is what's giving her the orgasm. Maybe your 5" baby cock isn't enough to give a girl off but my 8" master race dick is.
>>583538080 Dude, it's not that easy unless the women already kind of likes the dominant type of stuff, or likes to be forced. Some women might panic though and either be too scared of displeasing you to say no, or they might really take it as rape. Your girl probably just likes being held down or forced like that. I know I do, but that doesn't mean I want it all the time. Sometimes I need a lot of foreplay and soft coercing.
>>583535682 Except that sex is important, and one of the more common reasons for divorce and ending relationships.
She disregards him in the relationship. She is more interested in her asexuality than his. But he knows it now (even if he's a moron). If it's something he wants that she won't give and isn't willing to work with, then it's over.
>>583531947 I know how your gf feels. I feel the same way a lot. I rarely have any sort of desire for sex, but when I do have it I quite enjoy it. Because of this, my bf and I don't have as much sex as we used to. My antidepressants may also have helped kill my libido. To try and combat this, I've taken to reading erotica to help get me in mood, which really helps. I want to make an effort because I love my bf and don't want him to feel the same way you do. The best thing I'd imagine is to talk to her, but if she doesn't want to improve on her feelings towards sex, and it really bothers you, then I suppose leaving her would be in your best interest.
>>583538286 Then her reset hormones will be telling her to have the child. You tell her "no, get an abortion!" She cries and cries. She doesn't want to fuck. She just wants to grow her child. You take her to the clinic and abort the parasite. She's lost forever, constantly thinking about what would have been. Depression sets in. Still haven't had sex.
>>583532782 leave immediately. I had a woman that acted the same. turns out she was bating on cam for tons of guys and fucked a 65 year old Macedonian guy and her bosses at work. They are attention whores who must get their way. Find a good woman. No such thing as asexual at all.
>>583538612 ... I've got a few years of orgasm faking in my belt. All we do with our friends is sit around and talk about how lame your 8 inches are and how it never rubs the g spot or the clit. All you do is kiss my neck and I'm fucking horny. But then it's over. And I'm like aching for something. I didn't really fake an orgasm. I was just trying to encourage you to keep going, but god you all suck.
Because no one else has said it yet, i will. For some men, sex is the same thing as love/affection. I am in a situation now where my girlfriend has lost her sex drive because of birth control and a UTI that caused painful sex. When I want to have sex with her, its not just because I'm horny. To express my affection, sometimes (most of the time), I feel overwhelmed with the desire to fuck. The more I know she reciprocates the affection, the better the sex is and the more fulfilling the sex is. It may make the sex fall short, but that just means a round 2 almost immediately, which then plays into the other aspect (more familiar to other men). This being the mindset "Yeah, im gonna fuck her good, man. Shes going to the scratching and moaning until i bust". And both desires are normal and healthy.
Point being is simply that guys want their girls to want their fuck. When they dont want their fuck, guys post on /b/ and whine about it, or deal with it in a more respectable and intelligent manner.
>>583537945 My gf is super low maintenance, doesn't require presents or anything but it basically just a best friend, we game together, watch TV together, have the same friends etc. However she's also highly asexual and all she'll do is suck my dick.
>>583538559 That sounds like she has some fear issues of pain, and it's probably ruining her ability to relax and enjoy the sex because when she feels even slightly uncomfortable she probably gets distracted and then loses whatever good feeling she had. Then she doesn't want sex anymore.
My suggestion, as someone who had to do this myself-give her an ultimatum. Tell her that you want her to start masturbating more, reading sex books, watching porn, or sexy stories online until she finds what it is that she likes. If she can't figure out what she likes then she will never feel comfortable in bed and will keep feeling shitty.
What worked for me (because I had confidence issues and a deep fear of messing up, then I would get embarrassed and freeze, like stage fright, and not want to continue) was a good dose of exercise and a slightly better diet. That helped my bodies issues of keeping my hormones in check and boosting the good feelings.
Then I got a few sex books, started masturbating more, watching porn, all that good stuff.
It's taken me almost two years, but I am getting more comfortable, I'm finding out what I like and don't like, and my fiancee has helped me with communication so I can let him know.
So this stuff worked for me-
Communication skills Better diet and excersise Figuring out what I liked Books such as exhibitionism for the shy, and The sex bible Watching porn and reading stories on Literotica which is a really cool site and I highly suggest both of you check it out
4 years into it with my girl, have NEVER had a week without sex. The average goes about 4-10 times a week, and Im serious. If your gf isn't having sex with you, its psychological and scientific FACT, she's not attracted to you. Like at all. She's more than likely fucking someone else, hence her jealousy.
>>583539676 Ya, I think he did at first but he never pressures me anymore, and if I say no he drops it. But I have to put my foot down too and let him know if I don't want to do something, I'm only just now learning that was the main reason we used to fight so much. I never wanted to say no because I was afraid of upsetting him. He still wants me to be slutty, but I'm discovering now that if I find cute, kind of slutty outfits that I feel comfortable wearing, that to me don't seem so slutty that I feel like I'm just waving my junk around, and I feel comfortable wearing it, he does notice..so I guess were improving. Maybe I'm just more patient then him, because now that I think of all this as I write it down, we have gotten a lot better than where we were a year ago.
Wife is on BC and we have sex like once a month. She was off it for a couple months and we were doing it every couple days. I can't wait till we are ready for kids so she will get off the pill! Hate those pills!
>>583540457 >her jealousy Yeah this doesn't check out. I had one fwb who was kinda asexual, she was a virgin when I coaxed her into it, and there was like no jealousy whatsoever. She'd ask me about who else I was fucking and after going into the details after she convinced me she'd be cool with it, she just kinda smiled and nodded. I'm pretty sure she was autistic or something.
In your case OP, she isn't asexual. She just has some deep, deep issues.
>>583538330 You guys could try taking baby steps, and do things that give her more control, such as her being on top, if your into it-letting her tie you up and doing what she wants (with boundaries of course, let her know what you don't want done, safety word, all that)
I've heard a lot of women say that this is a good therapy because it gives them that sense of control back that they didn't have while being raped, and over time she might feel comfortable enough with you to know that you would never hurt her. Because that feeling is really deep, and consciously she might believe you would never hurt her, but the unconscious animalistic part of our brains fire off warning from past experiences that we've had. That's just a natural thing, and it takes new habits to beat back the old.
>>583540692 >http://www.cracked.com/article_21988_6-weird-ways-world-looks-different-when-youre-asexual.html >#4. You Can Be Asexual and Still Enjoy Sex >"You can be straight and still take a dick up the ass" Totally not attention whoring by being speshul or something
Find Jesus you will discover that you've been wrong all your life and that premarital sex is a mortal sin, and then after spending a sexless (but righteous) lifetime together, you can watch adoringly when she goes to Heaven (like me) and you burn in Hell for all Eternity, bitch.
I'm kind of the same way. I'm 28, male, and just don't feel like fucking 9 times out of 10. I jerk off every couple days, but my girlfriend and I can go months without sex. I don't know, it's just the way i feel
>>583541126 Then he blows your head off and goes to jail for the rest of his life, because he wanted to be rid of a crazy cunt like yourself. But hey, at least he'll be himself again- at little to no cost!
>>583541576 My man has a love for eating potato chips. Orgasm not reached. Never thought about leaving him though like. I want to have sex all the time while he wants to eat potato chips all the time, but I love him. Love > Sex.
>>583531947 The funny thing about this whole issue of people not wanting sex is that it's been reported on for quite some time. When a mass quantity of females surrounds males, sex becomes a much lower priority, being available at every turn. Just like apples being expensive, then an orchard opens up, which then lowers the cost of apples. Basic supply and demand shit here.
As the males stayed in the environment they wanted the sex less and less. They acted far more solitary and less interested in the female company.
As members of both primary genders masturbate at will across thousands of years, we might be getting it hardwired into our heads that sex= masturbation. Which means, the more we jerk or rub it, the worse our disinterest gets over time.
>>583542978 I'm just 28 mind you, but I'm already making preparations. I'll be the bestest, most emotionally distant, and most carefree 45 year old that inappropriately younger girls can latch onto to fill that dad-sized hole in their heart.
>>583543457 >that dad-sized hole in their heart. You know I say it like this but I'm not trying to sound mean or something. I wouldn't bust their chops or anything. It's just that, I'd really like to bang a string of young teens. And right now I ironically couldn't get away with that nearly as easy. Once the age gap has widened and I'm not a young professional making a weird connection with a 16 year old, but an "older guy" getting together under an obvious pretext, things strangely get less complicated.
>>583541107 Pro-tip: if they say the safe word, keep going anyway. They have to know it's not as safe as they thought or they won't orgasm. The orgasm center of the brain is the same as the fear center. If you don't trigger fear, you can't make them cum.
>>583544197 Does she come across kinda burnt out though?
>>583544182 I think priorities and the uterus might be involved. I've seen some gfs pass the 30 mark, that biological clock skips a couple ticks and they frenzy if they haven't had a kid yet. Me, honestly I wouldn't be opposed to settling down with kids, but rule of thumb a pregnancy is a worst case scenario to me. I guess cause I'm not on a deadline.
>>583544961 I think I'd be more weary of a <30 year old who wasn't begging for your sperm contribution. Either way she's thinking about it. Better to have the open and crazy one than the manipulative, sneaky one. Also when you're ready they'll be tons of fertile younger women left.
>>583545762 Yeah, I should probably keep some ipecac around to deal with emergencies. I'm a romantic though. If I shoot for kids it'll have to be with someone I have something meaningful with, we'll see how this plays out.
Man, I've been in the same situation. After 3 years together she started to show her real self. I found out that she doesn't like sex, and never liked it with me. I was going to leave her. But then I found out she's pregnant. Now we are already 10 years together. Second daughter is to be born in March.
Still I am not happy.
My advice: Run from her, or it will be too late...
>>583547319 I don't know what you mean. I don't think so though. Sometimes you have to endure painful circumstances to yield the best result i.e. OP an his low sex drive girlfriend assuming he loves her.
>>583531947 OP, your plight has reached my heart. Story and advice:
I dated a girl for several years. I agreed to move in with her to work together in a foreign country. Around then began a TWO YEAR period of shitty obligation-sex. It was less than once a week, and always felt like she was just doing an errand, no more emotional than buying milk.
I brought it up periodically, but she always shrugged it off, saying it was her pill, or anxiety, as if it wasn't permanent. Worst thing, I felt like a couldn't leave because we lived and worked together far from home.
After 2 yrs, our contract ended, so I was no longer convenient. She left me, admitting she didn't love me back.
Advice to you: ignore the subhumans that tell you sex doesn't matter. It certainly does. It says more than words. It shows how you feel--the spark that's REQUIRED for a meaningful relationship.
If that isn't there, sorry, it won't work out. At worst, it might even mean she already doesn't love you. In that case, I would NOT suggest keeping her and adding a fuckbuddy.
Value yourself. If you choose to love someone who doesn't love you back, you become subhuman too (faggot).
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