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How was blowjob invented?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 205
Thread images: 31

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How was blowjob invented?
>>
Ask your mom
>>
Ask your mom
>>
>>582324613
beat me to it
>>
Ask your mom
>>
Bitches were starving and thirsty so men started to feed them pee. Then bitches needed more and stsrted to suck out his sperm because they needed protein.
>>
>>582324613
>>582324752
Dat hivemind
>>
>>582324613
>>582324752
ow you guys ;D
>>
>>582324808
use appchan x, you newfaggot cunt
>>582324928
it was a full minute later, shut your hole
>>
beat me to it
>>
>>582324827
pwnt
>>
Ask your mom
>>
>>582324613
>>582324752
>>582324827
wow the world really needs a massive die off soon
>>
>>582324467
Semen contains pheromones which would allow predators to track groups of humans and eat them if men were to release out in the wild. Blow jobs kept the prehistoric human safe
>>
>>582324613
>>582324752
>>582324827
>>582325113


someone screen cap this.
>>
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contraception
>>
Is it too late to say "Ask your Mom"?
>>
Thread has potential. Bump
>>
>>582324467
The blowjob was a revolutionary invention and birth control method. It was discovered by Phil Ashio and T. Bagg in 1127.3 A.D. The purpose of the invention was for a male's mate (preferably a woman) to pleasure the male without any reprocussions. Often this "gift of the gods" was not given to the male by his mate, and was most often given from distributors (whores). Such a gift was not free though, so males often paid in stones which was used by the distributors to survive. In the modern days, such transactions are similar. The women who perform these tasks, are no longer called distributors. They are now called 'prostitutes', and are widely renowned around the world. Also, instead of stones, they are paid in legal tender, which can be used to buy almost anything in the country or area the currency is used such as celery, bicycles or even hard drugs.
>>
>>582324467
no idea but im glad it was my favourite type of porn

oc btw
>>
okay kids gather around!
During the time of ancient ROME there were wars (obviously) and for ROMANS to remain the GREATEST FUCKING ARMY they needed to be prepared. So every time before a battle all the BITCHES gave the soldiers ONE LAST HANDJOB!
but there was this BITCH WO FUCKING LOST HER ARMS, and she couldn't give any handjobs so she tried to do it WITH HER MOUTH!!!
of course the soldier came buckets and all the soldiers were interested. She alone gave 376 blowjobs that very morning and that kids was how the blowjob came to be.
>>
>>582324467
Ask your mom's mom
>>
Who knows? Only a few animals on the planet willingly perform fellatio. The following animals are known to blow each other: Cape Ground Squirrels, Bonobo Apes, Fruit Bats, Goats, Kangaroos, Hyaenas, Sheep, Gray Wolves. Most of those animals perform autofellatio in order to clean themselves.
>>
>>582324467
more like this?
>>
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>>582325383
best I could do on a phone
>>
>>582324467
The current form of the word blow job began taking it’s current shape during the 1800’s. Blowsy was slang for a prostitute, which itself was a turn of reference for blow. The word blow during the same period was slang for ejaculation. It continued to evolve until the firth third of the 20th century. By the 1930’s blow job became common slang for fellatio. Ask any woman who has performed oral sex and they will confirm it certainly is a job.

In ancient Greece it was known as playing the flute, which I suppose would have produced some tones from the lucky man.
>>
>>582325383
>>582325783
The cancer you represent is astounding.
>>
Ask your dad
>>
The French.
>>
Ask you're mom
>>
mom ask you're
>>
>>582324467
Cavewoman tripped on a rock while caveman was asleep with boner
>>
>>582325518
>celery
pot eke
>>
>>582325930
What cancer would that be Mr. Oncologist?
>>
>>582324467
Since no one else is gonna ask I'll do it. Who is that chick?
>>
>>582326867
The braindead adolescent faggot with a cellphone who doesn't belong here kind.
>>
>>582327150

you honestly sound butthurt about OP getting rekt with a your mom joke.
>>
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>>582326549
>>
>>582327150
No, we are talking cancer my friend not your interpretation of yourself when you look in a mirror.
>>
>>582324467
Evolution
Monkeys did it first
Humans watch and recreate it
>>
>>582327528
>no u
Such an intelligent response. But what did I expect from someone from a broken home?
>>
>>582324467
It was probably invented by men
>>
>>582327982
feminist detected
>>
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>>582327982
>>
sex is all about power. a man wanted to put a woman in her place. the end
>>
>>582327918
Is it so hard to believe that I can speak intelligently without the apparently obvious burden of my family? You sir, or madam, have a bleak outlook on life.
>>
>>582328963
>Is it so hard to believe that I can speak intelligently
Yes.
>>
>>582324467
Well son, let me tell you. It was invented by your mom.
>>
>>582324467
╱╱╱╱╱╱╭╮
╱╱╱╱╱╱┃┃
╭━━┳━━┫┃╭╮╭╮╱╭┳━━┳╮╭┳━╮╭╮╭┳━━┳╮╭╮
┃╭╮┃━━┫╰╯╯┃┃╱┃┃╭╮┃┃┃┃╭╯┃╰╯┃╭╮┃╰╯┃
┃╭╮┣━━┃╭╮╮┃╰━╯┃╰╯┃╰╯┃┃╱┃┃┃┃╰╯┃┃┃┃
╰╯╰┻━━┻╯╰╯╰━╮╭┻━━┻━━┻╯╱╰┻┻┻━━┻┻┻╯
╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╭━╯┃
╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╰━━╯
>>
>>582327982
fuck that was disgusting. kill, fucking kill...fuck.
>>
>>582329351
Well I can dumb it down so you can understand more clearly. gtfo out of b you cancer I hope you kill urself faggot. Better? I didn't mean to plagiarize some of your words.
>>
>>582325930
>The cancer you represent is astounding.

Yet it doesn't approach the cancerousness of your mom. Post tumors or GTFO
>>
>>582330351
>hurr i calleded you dum fer tellin me to get out! xD
Stop trying to sound smart. It's just pathetic when teenagers do that.
>>
>>582325526
oc? more then?
>>
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>>582330742
>>
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>>
>>582325526
CAN YOU PLEASE POST THIS VIDEO PLEASE
>>
>>582330813
If you hate it so much then stop doing it damn. How long are we going to keep this up? I got work in the morning.
>>
>>582331238
give me tine to upload to mega
>>
>>582325783

you dont have the app

>mfw
>>
>>582331442
thank you. thank the lord for people like you
>>
>>582331416
>trying
>being
These are two different concepts, Jamal.

>implying you work
>>
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>>582331581
App you say?
>>
>>582331632
ill upload a few pics from other videos while it uploads
>>
>>582332292
Damn. How old?
>>
>>582325526
what is the name of this chick? I feel like i know her....
>>
>>582325553
lol comedy platinum
>>
>>582331769
Almost fell for that Jamal thing. I also complete forgot why we even started this back and forth. I'll keep going to entertain you if you want or whatever but just know they will just be snappy comebacks from now
>>
>>582325518
.3? As in march?
>>
was looking it up and just

> Among the Sambia people of Papua New Guinea, beginning at age seven all males regularly submit to oral penetration by adolescents in a six-stage initiation process, as the Sambia believe that regular ingestion of an older boy's semen is necessary for a prepubescent youth to achieve sexual maturity and masculinity. By the time he enters mid-puberty he in turn participates in passing his semen on to younger males.

wtf

>In Baruya culture, there is a secret ritual in which boys give fellatio to young males and drink their semen, to "re-engender themselves before marriage".

I just

>In some cultures, such as the Manchu, Telugu, and in rural areas of Cambodia and Thailand, kissing or briefly taking the penis of a male infant or toddler into one's mouth is considered a nonsexual form of affection or even a form of greeting.

what

>In the modern St. Priapus Church, consumption of semen in the presence of others is a form of worship.
>>
>>582332458
22
>>582332469
guess and I'll twll you if you're right
>>
>>582331442
Praise be to you, Historian Anon!
>>
>>582332897
how long till upload done?
>>
>>582325930
faggot.
>>
>>582324467

cleaning off the dick before it goes in the vagoo.. monkeys do it
>>
>>582333096
15 percent
>>
Blowjobs were a reproductive strategy for females. Blowing beta males lets the female save her eggs for an alpha. The exact origins are prehistoric.
>>
>>582333372
looks like she has nice tits anon
>>
>tfw my ex gf gave today me an awesome blow job and handjob until I came
>>
>>582325413
now this girl knows how to treat a cock
>>
>>582333372
You're at 15%, or 15% left to go?
>>
>>582333626

That doesn't make sense because fucking can occur before or after a bj so.....yea.
>>
>>582325413
SOURRRRCE
>>
ask your dad
>>
>>582324467
>1396998761243.webm

Too much hand, not enough throat.

But she does get bonus points for not wasting a drop of cum.
>>
Sauce on main webm
>>
>>582325776
look up gloryholeswallow.com torrent watever njoy
>>
bump for vid
>>
>>582333863
done unfortunately here have a previous vid while you wait for the next two. the last upload was a lot of fun filming and this one was outside
https://mega.co.nz/#!d8kgwLyT!IEWzP3h6lB4bPoNTIcknaBKPTNaYQp6J0fiMpRtNtnM
>>
vid pls oc guy
>>
>>582335796
thanks anon. waiting for the one from the screenshot
>>
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as a form of art
>>
By op, he's a fag
>>
>>582336159

sauce
>>
>>582336097
what did you think?
>>
>>582335796
Nice, I love her eyes! This one has a weird ending though. Also have one where we see her tits?
>>
>>582324467
ask your mom
>>
>>582336905
the third link ill post will is the best video just wait my friend the next vid is the one you're after
>>
>>582331062
anyone know who this is?
>>
>>582337696
Tessa Taylor
>>
>>582337263
appreciate it anon
>>
>>582336674

http://www.tube8.com/hardcore/lolly-badcock-in-great-scene/413652/#
>>
>>582324467
Aks yo momma, niggahw
>>
>>582332292
>circumcised

Why even bother?
>>
>>582325413
Sauce?
>>
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>>582336159
please fucking sause
>>
>>582336905
oh and in case its not clear we did get caught in the making of that mivie
>>
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>>582338207
explain?
>>
>>582336159
>How Christina Aguilera got her recording deal.
>>
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remember gwah gwah? no
>laughs at you for not knowing gwah gwah


well the gwah gwah wanted to teblulate.
the gwah gwah's could not tebulate on this dimensional plane.

thus fellatio is a hymnn to the gwah gwah's
>>
>>582336159
>-
Lolly badcock and Danny Dong
>>
Ask your dad
>>
>>582338741
hows the upload going?
>>
>>582339893
about half way for both uploads.
upstairs in bed uploading on a phone on not the best internet either
>>
>>582340606
keeping the thread alive..
>>
Food fell into a caveman's lap
>>
uploads still going?
>>
waiting patiently
>>
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>>582324467
You are all wrong... The snake bit Adams penis, and Eve had to suck the poison out of it.
>>
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bumping
>>
tessa taylor bangbus
>>
>>582341964
>>
>>582343116
5:33AM?!
>>
>>582343116
Learn to compress...
>>
>>582343116
>>
Shit nigga you guys made a damn sequel?
>>
>>582343510
dammmmm
>>
>>582343405
>>582343405
ill so im not going into work tomorrow. Just going to sleep all tomorrow anyway
>>
>>582343510
Are you still with her?
What else does she like?
>>
>>582344325
>>
>>582344325
So you're from the UK?
>>
>>582324467
Ask your mom

(Too late?)
>>
>>582344402
yes two and a half years and fucking anything I ask. ass to mouth no problem. can cum in her ass and face and her. loves being tied up and she also can ride for hours and is a squirter to
>>
>>582338560
Details!!
>>
>>582345362
someone saud tits before
>>
>>582344681
Links to any videos?
>>
>>582345362
Goddammit, sounds awesome (keeping the thread alive here because of interests)
I never wasa big squirting fan, until I experienced it with a girl
>>
>>582344681
does she swallow?
>>
>>582345923
two vids very soon
>>
>>582346220
Yo, what happened when you got caught? By whom?
>>
>>582346034
if I tell her to yes
>>
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bumping
>>
>>582346940
Nice ass
>>
>>582346940
i remember you from your other thread where you said that you were doing it because you both thought that each other were too self conscious
glad to see you back
>>
>>582346940
is this part of the video?
>>
make a public dropbox folder so that if the thread dies you can keep uploading and it will be in the folder
>>
>>582347663
this
>>
https://mega.co.nz/#!ZoUyxAiC!bcZ6saM8Z2eBcT639Tjo1Wat1f8iBWhVpmNOBxdDX3g

stick around for part 2 very close to upload
>>
>>582347663
explain how I do this
>>
>>582346940
Pls upload more videos :)
>>
>>582329974
edgy retard can't accidentally see gay porn without crying.
>>
>>582347425
is this true?
>>
>>582332292
Is she from Los Angeles?
>>
>>582348616
yes some anon even made the videos into webms
>>
>>582348616
>>582347425
it is. didn't expect to recognised but I have been every time I post. feels a little nice
>>
>>582325413
name plz
>>
no one has shared their thoughts on the videos I take requests and have a lot of footage un uploaded to mega just got to cut out my face but a big thread is coming soon with all vids ever posted and more
>>
>>582324467
so everyone in this thread is saying it was from greece and rome, but there is a reference to a blowjob in the Gilgamesh Epic.
>>
>>582336159
Peepee helicocker
>>
By the greeks, because they were perverted motherfuckers, AND USED IT AS PUNISHMENT.
>>
>>582349456
>take
I'm enjoying them a lot. Thanks for sharing.
>>
>>582349062
>>582343510
Upload this video, pls anon
>>
>>582349456
i wanna see a striptease into bj, can you do that?
>>
>>582349456
Still downloading the second link. First one was nice, but unfortunately no finish

Link of anal?
>>
First of all it wasnt invented, it was discovered.

Secondly, it was most likely invented by two cavemen who couldnt find any pussy.
>>
>>582349456
Still waiting to hear what happened when you two were caught. This stuff is amazing, thanks for sharing man.
>>
>>582324467

To prevent babbies bein formed
>>
https://mega.co.nz/#!s992QbwI!heBzUDYKpGQAQUCrVfwr8lxjA-U5Nw3pVFLjosarpHw

a old one before the new one uploads
>>
>>582348006
make a dropbox account then make a folder and designate it as public then drop files into it
>>
how do i rotate the video upright? im using vlc
>>
>>https://mega.co.nz/#!0l1lFRCS!ydSrxAopcvnQuQg1vSP6lpVOgZ8PzeezfwsnhdrTOMs

and here we are with a new upload. if there is enough people interested that meens you lurkers let me know if I think there's enough people staying up for ill post more
>>
>>582351054
I must know what happened when you two got caught! For the love of god man!
>>
>>582351054

/
>>
I'm enjoying. I'd love it if you kept going.
>>
>>582350674
dropbox will limit the bandwith while mega won't
>>
>>582350407
well got caught was very embarrassing but she pulled her pants down after they scurried past and told me to fuck her and im not one to argue. very dirty women
>>
>>582350105
Oh and link of you riding her titties, have that?
>>
>>582351054
Interested
>>
>>582351054
been lurking, stroking
any tits?
>>
>>582351470
google drive?
>>
IT'S ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE
>>
>>582324467
Ask your..! Oh.
Sister! Yeah, your sister. Nailed it.
>>
loving these videos bro
>>
>>582324467
semi-related, i have a theory that the first time man ever did anal was on accident. and the second time was on purpose.
>>
anyone know the amateur allure video where the girl goes to the set with her mom and she watches her daughter suck cock?
>>
>>582351054
eagerly waiting for more
>>
>>582354013
mia malkova
>>
>>582354291
thank you based anon
>>
>>582351054
https://mega.co.nz/#!U9M0mazY!1Lk02lNowVHAJMb1BoYwJ_UXg4EOJmFy3j_FaKHvRTI
>>
>>582351708
can you get her to do a striptease?
>>
>>582354814
>>
>>582355215
this is from a none uploaded video. what does /b/ think ?
>>
>>582355448
That is a pretty pussy
>>
>>582355448
hot as fuck
>>
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>>582324467
She invented the blowjob
>>
>>582355448
It'd be cool to see a video of you cumming on her face or in her mouth.
>>
>>582356239
noted will gwt that on camera when she's around on Wednesday
>>
>>582354291
>>582353496
Wasn't there some weird story behind that, like it was really her mom and she didn't know what was going on? I just vaguely remember some story about her family being really weird or some such nonsense.
>>
>>582324467
The snake in the garden bit adam on the tip of his penis, he had Eve suck the venom out, he ended up enjoying it so it became the new trend
>>
>>582356662
I just found the video and the guy had to explain they were shooting porn to the mom.
>>
>>582356662
idk but it's hot as fuck. really seems like it's her real mom.
>>
>>582354814
why can't I watch these? Downloaded, but won't play
>>
>>582325383
Do it yourself you faggot
Thread posts: 205
Thread images: 31



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