Story time /b/ >be me back when I was 16 years autistic >got bullied a lot >shit was kicked out of me every day >other kids would create groups just to exclude me >Main bully's mom was principal >wouldn't do shit when he beat me up >got so bad one time he ended up awakening some shit virus dormant in my legs when he beat me up >Go with mom to store so she can buy some new shoes and then go buy some vidya game >sit down because women take forever to browse shoes >play around on phone till my mother come and gets me >yay vidya game time >Can't feel my legs >legs.exe must've fucking been deleted >I end up crying like a little bitch becuse my mother thinks I'm faking and starts beating me in the head with her shoe thinking somehow she could re-install legs.exe >nice store manager comes and brings a buff guy and they haul me off the my mum's car >we go to to doctor and they diagnose me >feelsgood.jpeg? >tell my mum there is a 50% chance I will never walk again >Never walk again.mp3 plays on loop for the rest of the month >After weeks of being immobile and having to deal with my shit mother I finally regain feeling in my legs >Tearsofautisticjoy.jpeg >go back to school and still a social outcast and get beaten up regularly >one day we get a new student >we'll call him john >john was in a wheelchair and we were just told he had health problems >those fucking dick bag shit cunts outcast john the moment he steps through the door >I try to outcast him in order to be cool like the other kids because i'm a stupid autistic fuck >"You're just a weak little faget john" >John laughs "I'm stronger than you think anon" >Laugh and return to being an outcast >One day there is a circle around the soccer field >this shit should be good as I was always circled when i got stomped so some poor chump must be getting fucked up right now >manage to only get punched in the cut and tripped 3 times before I make it to the inner circle where I could see >john and the bully
>be me >last saturday got out of bed >was going to propose to my gf >drived to her father to ask for her hand >guy is old fashioned >ask him if i can marry his daughter >he says he will never give me his permission till the day he dies >i ask him why he is so rude >don't you know i'm human too?
>john in his wheel chair and cunt lord circling him >"you think you're funny john?" >bully grabs his wheel chair >"you wanna have a good laugh huh wheels" >bully then tips john out of his wheelchair and tosses it >everyone has mixed emotions but seem to roll with it >see john on the ground trying to drag himself to his wheelchair >bully goes and grabs his legs >drags him back and punches him in the back >john still trying to crawl to his wheelchair >"whats wrong john not so funny anymore?" >bully starts punting john in his legs >not kicking >it looks like he was trying to fucking kick john's legs into another dimension >see john grab one of his legs and try to pull it away from johns fucking assault >he manages to lift it a little but cuntlord still kicks it >remember back to when i couldn't feel my legs when my mother was beating me >tears in eyes >"h-hey fuck off" >crowd looks at me >shit lord looks at me >only one not looking at me is john as he is trying to crawl away to his wheel chair >"what was that faggot?" >l-leave him alone" >"you think you're hot shit anon? think you can take me you bitch?" >I'm 6'3 and he's around 5'4 >I know what you're thinking >Why did you not lay this cunt out before anon? >because I'm a pussy okay? I was a scared little shit and I regret being such a fucking push over to this day. "Y-Yeah so fuck off" >Shit lord approaches me and crowd moves back >he begins pushing me and punching my gut >come on then do it >he lands a right hook on my face leaving me a bit fuzzy but still standing >Autism peaks >grab his arm and spin around pulling his arm down >lift the faggot over my back and slam his punk ass on the ground >blood starts coming out of his mouth and the crowd flees in a panic >autism is peaked >paranoia is peaked >bitch mode is peaked >look back at john who is struggling to get into his wheel chair now >help him in it and begin crying >"I'm so fucked man"
>I see john was crying as well as he looks at me >Don't worry anon I'll tell them about how it was self defense >still think i'll get the death sentence or some shit >what were you guys fighting about anyway >"John begins to cry" >I told them to stop being such pricks and to stop beating you up anon >I told them they could outcast me but they had no reason to do it to you, someone who still has their legs and you aren't going to die in a fucking chair like I am >we both lost it and begin crying >P.E teacher, nurse, and principal (mother of cunt lord) all come rushing out >the principal immediately grabs me as begins shaking me >"what did you do to my baby boy you useless little shit" >"did you kill my son you piece of shit?" >P.E teacher and nurse rush cunt lord to first aid office >John is trying to choke out his part of the story but the cunt won't listen >"I'LL MAKE SURE YOU GET THE DEATH SENTENCE" >YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T JUST KILL YOU RIGHT HERE YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BASTARD!" >drags me to principal office and leaves john still stuttering >she throws me in her office and locks me in >day goes by and I hear a lot of yelling and crying >a few police officers question me periodically >hear a big argument break out and my mother burst through the door >"YOU'RE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE, NO NOT EVEN TROUBLE YOU'RE DEAD TO ME HOW DARE YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS ANON" >You're dead to me.mp3 looped for life >She drags me to the car and doesn't even wait to enter before beating the shit out of me >Guess she needed to update legs.exe >we get home and my alcoholic roid addict father takes turns beating me with my mother >the next couple of days is yelling and beating >door bell rings >it's john and his folks >they explain the story >parents start yelling at them >"stop trying to cover for this little weasel we always knew he was bad apple" >Always knew.txt has been archived >I catch a glimpse of them leaving >pretty sure I'm going to die soon >giving up hope
>Be me >Be 19 >Need someone to ask for something for the first time >Be 13 >at psychologist >problems with feeling emotions and empathy >Sent to doctor >MCC, RTPJ, pSTS way less active than should >Told I might not feel strong emotions never >Imokwiththis.jpg >Living with a pleasant feeling of nothingness >not even trying to recover from my state >Be 18 >This bitch came >Made me love her somehow >Made me feel >Best feeling in the world, also- sex >Am bad at loving >Like a child >See it, laugh at it inside, can't change it >Never felt such a thing, don't know how to >8 months later >I dump her >Bipolar borderline bitch >Can't get rid of emotions left after her >Would easily, but dont want to lose the ability to feel >Angry at her, but also grateful >Feel like I owe her something >Try to help her with her suecidal thoughts and her addictions >She won't leave me alone, fucking bitch >Cut nearly whole contact with her, block her everywhere >Bitch not giving up to this day (fuck you) >Disappointed in emotions, in women >Dont won't to gamble next relationship >This qt3.14 (8/10 body, 9/10 personality) tells me she is into me >Not even a week after a breakup >Fuck >Not over with the previous bitch yet >I am a badly ugh-duh hurt faggot, mommy-what-to-do? >Some of my friends love the precious bitch >Some don't like the second >bros over hoes? >Are they even bros? >Still feeling going into relationship is not fair to the first bitch >Want second bitch >Emotional retard >Afraid to lose the second bitch fastly, couse of WHAT I am >Wat do? >Why I is faggot? >Go for it? >I dunno
>fast forward to court date >not really knowing what to expect >decided I'll without a doubt be killed >stare blankly at the floor while everyone yells about what happened and how to punish me >someone takes the stand >it's bully lord >he's not dead >I think i won't be getting the death sentence >he starts testifying saying I was a monster >said I threatened to kill him on multiple occasions >keeps telling all these absurd lies like how I abused him regularly and he didn't stand up to me because I was taller than he was >look at judge to see if she's buying any of this >she's looking at me like i'm some sort of multi tentacled homicidal hentai monster that just killed her family and shaking her head >start to cry >funny I thought I was out of tears >bully lord gets off the stand and his lawyer takes the stand and starts going over legal procedures in these cases and what not >mentions death sentence and says he think it could be applied in this case >more tears >look at parents >angry glaring at me >I'm going to die without a funeral >they're just going to burn me at the stake and let my ashes drift into the wind or some shit >when suddenly john's folks walk through the door to the court room along with john wheeling himself in behind them >John wheels himself up to the stand >tears begin welling up in his face >All those things [insert bully lord name here] said were fake >anon never threatened anyone >anon was in fact bullied himself and I believe it is the bully lord who should be punished but no one should be put to death >John retells the story about how bully lord was beating him up for trying to stand up for me >things start turning around >my lawyer finally has something to stand on a testimony that could keep me from being killed >look at parents >they still have angry glare and in fact look angrier >fast forward through a lot more debating and I manage to stop crying >trial ends
>>581147176 Well, maybe, maybe not. I'd have the balls. I was so close to run rampage trhough my school and had cops called on me. Luckily they believed everything i told them. The only reason i didn't end up killing people were my parrents, if i had the same shit parrents as OP, guess what.
>>581145758 >6'4" >not beating your parents up when they attack you this story makes me so mad, i was a very shy guy in school but never got bullied, because if anyone tried i would beat them up. if i think about it that my parents would beat me up or try it for no good reason after the age of 16, wich was impossible anyways because i went to the gym regularly and was taller than them. (and im happy i had parents that arent irrational assholes)
wtf is wrong with you u little bitch if you act like this and do NOTHING about it, you deserve this treatment, you shithead. it has been a long time since something triggered rage within me like this fucking crap.
>>581145758 Anon, this is where I say work hard and get a great job and be rich, and then when you see your parents it'll make them boil inside when they start to be nice to you and you won't give any of your love. And as result they become depressed for being such cunts. Do this anon, please just do this.
>>581145758 I'm sorry man. I was always bullied myself, but one thing I could always turn to was my loving family. I can't even imagine what life is like when those closest to you are like that. I'm really sorry
>A week in "juvenile detention" and community service along with anger management classes. >ended up being alright >parents instantly become bipolar >"we know you didn't do it anon" >"you were always a good kid" >I can't even >oddly this made me feel worse than if they just kept beating me >also expelled from school >luckily john moved schools as well as his parents we're not abusive like mine and realized the school was horrible >we plan to go the the same school >get same put in same homeroom and share most our classes >things start getting better >start going to the gym >autism is getting better and I can kind of talk to people other than john >parents still beat me every other weak but I take it and move on knowing they'll go bipolar and start being nice a few days later >life is pretty good for a time >but then john starts going down hill >he starts missing school and his parents say his health issues have gotten worse but it's nothing serious >knowing john as the toughest guy in a wheelchair I decide he'll be okay and think nothing of it >I fucked up again
>I mean, “Whip My Hair” was a great thing. When I look back I think, “Wow, I did so much for young black girls and girls around the world. Telling them that they can be themselves and to not be afraid to be themselves.” And I’m doing that now but in a whole different way, coming from source energy and universal truths. People will be, like, “Oh, I’m not going to make a song about exactly how I feel, all the bad ways that I feel, and put it out in the world so everyone can judge me.” But for me, it’s a part of me, it’s my artistic journey.
>Believing death penalty is applicable to high school fights >Bully not dead, or even crippled I've been in a couple of bad fights back in high school, and no one even went to court. The worst anyone ever got was a trip to the hospital and suspension. 2/10 This story has more holes then Micheal Brown
This "story" kind of sounds like a continuation of that one oral video where the taller chubby kid is getting punched in the gut and the fat kid's autism peaks, so he proceeds to body slam the bully into the concrete with the force of a thousand suns. Amirit?
>>581150243 >Exactly. Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it’s not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It’s a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That’s not a duality consciousness. And you can’t listen to your mind in those times — it’ll tell you what you think and also what other people think.
>john ends up in hospital >visit him and he looks like a corpse >begin fucking crying >"Hey anon stop crying man, you know I'm stronger than you think. With that said how strong do you think I am anon." >look at his big ass grin and smile through the tears >strong enough to lift a mountain man >"I can lift 10 mountains anon." >we both have a good laugh and I regularly visit him at the hospital >he seems to be getting better as the days go by and my paranoia calms down. >eye of the storm.mp3 >john's health plum its and he looks worse and worse by the day >talk to the doctors and ask if it's just the last leg of the race (no pun intended) and he'll be clearing up afterwards >doctors sit me down >anon john has a cancerous brain tumor >y-you can do something about that right? >autism peaking over the highest mountains >there's a treatment right? >doctor just says "I'm sorry anon there is nothing we can do" >cry like a little bitch >can't stop crying >manage to walk back to johns room before I collapse on the floor and just break down >"so they told you huh" >keep crying >Anon listen, you know that bad situations can always be turned around right? >Just look at us, two outcast that managed to escape a living hell and become friends because of it. >You know I can lift 10 mountains man so watch me kick this tumor in the ass alright? I promise you I'll overcome this no matter what the doctors say. " >fast forward a few days >arrive at hospital to see everyone on full alert >john's parents are there >No No NO NO No No can't be happening >run into johns room and his mother is holding his hand >John starts crying when he seems me >i start crying >his mom starts crying >everyone is crying >"I'm sorry anon" >"for what john you were the best friend I ever had, you're not dying you can lift 10 mountains remember" >"sorry anon I wasn't as strong as I thought" >fucking lose it at that statement >crying hunched over on the floor >"Anon listen"
>I know you're a push over anon but you have to stand up for yourself >I know how your parents treat you and how you allow people to walk all over you >promise me one thing anon >stand up for yourself and live to it's fullest >Still crying like a little bitch >John's mother returns with the rest of his family that was in the hall >we all watch as john seems to nod off to sleep >John didn't go to sleep >Everyone begins crying again >cry for hours and then drive my pathetic ass to my house >dad looks at me >"where have you been off with your gay wheelchair friend?" >Lose it >Punch him right in the face >his roids deflect the blow and he immediately goes ballistic >begins to beat the shit out of me >hear my mother from the hallway >"teach that ungrateful little shit a lesson hun" >my own mother wants my dad to beat me up >think back to all the shit I went through with john and his last words >autism turns into strength >push father off me >punch him in the temple and get up before he can come to >stomp on his stomach and begin unleashing my 1000 autistic punches on his face >He's out cold >mother yells at me and calls me a monster >Walk out the door and never look back >start living life like john wanted me to >travel a lot >autism has gotten mildly better >still barely able to communicate with people bu have learned to live without them >haven't talked to or seen my parents since I walked out >I stop by john's family whenever possible to make sure they're doing okay >life is good Rest in peace john.
>>581140945 I don't know if this is real or not, but it is fairly pathetic.
In the crowd there's always somebody who seeks to gain something at the cost of others wellbeing. Quite a lot of people haven't experienced hardships in life and don't fully understand their actions. I'm not sure if any of us does, we kinda seem to think we know something and then we fuck things up anyway. Of course there's monsters who no longer care or never did: people who are well aware of their actions. One has to stand up for himself. Learning this on the school yard is possibly one of the most valuable lessons you can get, because it's one of those places where you can also get away with what you do. And even though it's relatively serious, the methods used aren't as much. The learning doesn't necesarily happen in that very moment, it could happen afterwards.
Of course actions may leave invisible scars. The older you grow the more miserable you feel, and you might become vengeful. But regardless of the hardships you should try and find a way to forgive them. Not because they deserve it, but because otherwise you might yourself become a monster. Generally speaking at that point their actions matter very little, because thinking those things over and over again exaggerated those events and now your actions versus theirs isn't very equal. This is how they can win, they make you the bad guy and get away with it. Because they are used to standing up for themselves, and even if they can't somebody will do it for them.
But if you want to win there is something you can do: protect your own future and give them a lot of rope.
>>581154832 What'd you think? John magically gets better, lifts the 10 mountains, kicks the bully's ass along with OP's parents and they fly off together; like the glorious winged faggots that they are?
Anyone any insight on this? >>581147460 I'm such a faggot I need to rely on fucking /b/, so do your shit, call me however you like and give me a totally unhelpful advice. Never have i had such a situation I didnt know what to do, so it seems to be pretty important. And yes I purely am faggot
OP IS A FUCKING FAGGOT. HE IS RIPPING OF A BOOK/MOVIE CALLED FREAK THE MIGHTY IN WHICH A HUGE TALL RETARD AND A CRIPPLE IN A WHEEL CHAIR BECOME FRIENDS AFTER BEING BULLIED AND REALIZE THEY HAVE AUTISM IN COMMON. DONT BUY OPS BULLSHIT. LOOK UP FREAK THE MIGHTY. ITS TOPKEK AUTISM. AND JUST TO SPOIL IT FOR YOU THE CRIPPLE FAGGOT DIES IN THE END.
>>581157132 -get the second girl.. -try to have happy life -you don't own the first bitch anything -keep the bros who are on your side--fuck the rest - BE HAPPY that an 8/10 wants you and stop being a Bitch..okay?
>>581158307 ya right, well done. Now I feel a lot better and won't even consider it. Not like it even was thought of in the first place. The sloppy story is about should I fuck A, or should wait and go fuck B, which would be more pleasurable, faggot. A choice you will never get.
>>581147460 tell second girl if she's willing to wait for you to get your thoughts in order, if she doesn't know mention your recent break up, if she says no then she probably wasn't worth it anyway, if she says yes you have a little more time to try and think about what you really want and what you think is best for you. if she asks say a couple of months, don't cut off all contact with her (but do that with first girl) just remain at a friend level relationship in the mean time.
>>581160546 She knows. Really well. She said she do not want to break anything, do not want mix anything, I have also said her pretty much everything i did here, about my state and how am I now, she says it is up to me. She is willing to wait. At least I think so. I got to know she has had a crush on me throught like 2 months of my relationship. Am I really writing as chaotic as I think I am?
>>581161521 good, so just take your time and think about it, try to repress your feelings for a few days or a week and try to think logically and rationally about this, like your old self would have done, you'll probably make a better decision then than what we could make with our limited information.
>>581164232 Oh lol ironically I'm a neurosciencefag and know those regions, just didn't recognize the acronyms. What scan did you get? PET? Also since when are brain scans used for diagnostic purposes?
>>581164683 No problem. I guess it might have been, not sure though. Pictures from google reminds me something from my vague memory. The last question cannot be aswered by me, I simply don't know and to be honest, if you are a neuroscience, you should tell me. Might be that it seemed a pretty strange case? But that is propably not a reasoning behind this. Never thought about it, and now it seems pretty strange
>>581164650 My old self would be pretty like: "Lol I need neither of you bitches, have better thinks to do." Now it is untrue to me, and I don't want to get to the old thinking, to the old self. I have a strange feeling I am drifting to that direction though.
>>581167121 not at all. I trust only /b/. I was rised by it. Also those bitches are pretty slow, and none of them would propably feel at least a little like me. Those retards belong here, and only here.
>>581166648 Yeah, I'm guessing you have (or had) trouble figuring out what other people are thinking and feeling, like the mentalizing deficit seen in autism. Also those regions aren't really involved in the generation of emotions as far as I know, maybe MCC (which I assume refers to anterior midcingulate) but even that is mostly cognitive/intention related. Maybe you did have emotions on some level but just had trouble getting in touch with them.
>>581169107 might have been, I am nohow secialised in these topics. I just remember these 3 being said, propably was more, but it has never been said to me (those names ofcourse). Guess they found no use in letting me know all the terminology. I have heard those through doors somehow remembering that MCC was mentioned, as well as "RTPJ, and a region near it- pSTS". something alone those lines
>>581169986 Have obviousily looked it up imidiately, curious as I was. So I had some more types what might be a problem, but there is seriousily too much to it to be true. So all I can say- these 3 for sure.
>>581169986 Yeah MCC is part of limbic cortex though which probably has more to do with emotion than any other individual region besides maybe amygdala. Ultimately these sort of issues raise more philosophical questions about what emotions really are.
But I can relate to you, I'm not an emotional person either. I don't empathize unless I consciously try to. Still I would say that on some level I care, because I generally treat people well.
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