Story time motherfuckers. > be 11 and happy > thought I

>>580834960
> school dance
> the hot list thing blew over
> back to being friends with the kids that stomped me
> bunch of us standing along wall like we're cool as shit
> no one's dancing
> except for Peter
> kid is dancing machine
> has been doing chicken dance for like 15 mins straight
> faggy DJ "alllllright you love birds, time for a slooow song"
> girls start asking boys along the wall to dance
> girl I love walks right up to me
> "Can you ask George if he'll dance with me."
> fucking kill me
> George was my best bud in class.
> tell George
> fat girls walk past me ask other fat kids
> no one left
> Standing their like a faggot against the wall
> everyone's dancing but me
> Peter approaches and sachets
> fuck no
> walk out of the gym
> "WUH YOU GOING??"
> "I'm getting some air."
> "K"
> he follows
> we go outside and just start climbing on the bike racks like retards
> all of a sudden I get this crazy idea
> start letting out all the air in the girls bikes
> Peter is laughing like mad "WUHHH YOU DOING?"
> "Revenge"
> Peter and I hide out in the bushes and wait until all the kids who rode bikes come out
> everyones got flat tires
> just like their tits

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>>580835029
> George is going out with the girl I love now
> we're in elementary school so its nothing much
> still feel fucking crushed
> hanging out with them and another girl under the jungle gym after school
> think its like a double date thing
> figure fuck it, this blonde girls okay
> she doesn't talk to me at all
> she's fucking in love with george
> everything george says they giggle over
> he starts talking about the NHL and they start laughing
> "you're so funny George"
> "look at his hair."
> "wow it's soft!"
> George and my crush start making out
> turn away not to look as it hurts too much
> see Peter in the bushes staring at us
> "Hey Buddeh!"
> I laugh and wave back
> start to chuckle thinking he's doing another prank
> nope. he's just fapping

keep going?

yeah op, things interesting

>>580835271
The actual fuck

>>580835460
pls

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>>580835271
> it finally happens
> some girl likes me
> little ugly me
> so fucking excited
> this cute girl in class named Sara, she likes pokemon, and art.
> she's a bit skinny but she's super hot
> have no idea why she even asked me out
> George and me get chosen to be MC's for the christmas concert
> girl who told me sara likes me tells me to do something romantic like sing a song just for her at the concert
> ask my dad for help
> he cna't believe some hot bitch wants me but fuck it
> "girls love funny guys, son. Make her laugh, and she'll be yours."
> christmas concert almost over
> "And before we end, I'd like to sing a song for the love of my life...Sara"
> just hearing it now makes me cringe
> start to sing can you feel the love tonight from the lion king in a shitty pakistani accent thinking that was funny
> no one laughs
> dead silence
> Peter gets up from the floor
> "BULLISMO BULLISMO!"
> tears are falling from his face
> for 10 seconds it was like all I saw was Pete
> I was so happy
> I thought I was fucking Sinatra
> then I heard the laughter and saw the people mocking me
> everyone laughs at me
> "So are you going to go up there and kiss that retard?" screamed someone
> could hear a pin drop
> Sara gets up off the floor in complete tears
> "I don't like that fucking ugly monster" she says as she runs out
> my gut wrenches
> "BELLISMOOOOOOOOH"
> christmas concert ends with principal speech and then the grade 1's singing their piece
> I'm waiting there with the mic next to george, my whole body is shaking as the grade 1's sing jingle bells
> this is how crazy people are made...truly evil people I think...
> girls love a guy that can make them laugh eh?
> this is how the Joker came to be.

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> nope. he's just fapping
Oh shit

> he was like a spitter from Left4Dead

lost

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>>580836087
> "Yes class! I went to Hawaii for my honeymoon! Who knows what the capital of Hawaii is?"
> "Anon?"
> lift my head off the desk, black around my eyes
> haven't given a shit about school since we've been back from winter break
> see the tanned teacher
> is orangey brown as fuck
> "Can you turn it down, miss?"
> "What?" she asks
> "Your CUNT rays... I can't see the board you sunny d chugging--"
> get taken down to the principals office by my arm, whole class is laughing
> sitting on principal's waiting sofa
> guess who's there
> yep
> Peter was spitting on his aid in tard art class (even though it was elementary, he'd swap in and out of classes with us)
> "Hey buddeh"
> "Sup Pete"
> tell him what I said to the teacher
> Peter can't stop laughing "I LUUUUUV SUNNY D HURHURHRUR"
> starts calling his aid who's standing by the office door a "CUN RAY"
"HEY MINDY.... URA CUN RAY"
> she steps outside probably because of ptsd
> he gets up from the sofa
> "dude you gotta stay"
> "YOU GOTTA SHEE DISH"
> fuck it
> chase after him
> he goes to the grade 4 cubby hole
> Pete drops his pants
> "oh fuck Pete....no"
> puts his hands behind his head and just starts pissing on the coats and boots of kids
> "THUS MA SUNNY DEE"
> I start laughing like a mad man
> we run back to the sofa
> no one was the wiser
> get 3 weeks detention for swearing
> go back to class
> at lunch I see all these kids crying on the same sofa
> their coats stunk like asparagus and were soaking wet
> they need to have their parents pick them up because it was -15c and they couldn't walk home for lunch
> lol
> hear Peter laughing from the lunch room

Lol I got number one white person on the negro list

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>>580836349
> recess
> I'm depressed as fuck and still don't hang around anyone
> it's -10 and I'm out there in a tshirt
> "you're going to catch a cold" says one of the teachers
> "fuck you miss"
> "What?"
> just keep walking
> some girls start making fun of me
> "can't afford a jacket, ugly kid?"
> get really fucking self conscious
> walk right up to her and smile
> plant a big fucking kiss on her face
> my first fucking kiss ever was a rape kiss
> rape kissed her like I was drinking water from a water fountain in the sahara desert
> girl starts crying
> they called me a monster...and now I was one...
> spend rest of recess destroying grade 2's snow fort with Peter

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>>580836565
> gay ass social studies class
> I nod at Peter
> he nods back
> "WUH DA PAN AGAIN?"
> I whisper, "say you have to go take a shit..."
"TAYCHA I HAS TO GO TACO SHUT"
> he runs out of class
> 90 secs go by
> "Can I go get a drink of water?"
> "Fine, but be quick."
> leave with a huge fucking smirk
> meet Peter in the bathroom
> take the PERMANENT MARKER from my back pocket
> the two of us write all kinds of degrading filth on the bathroom stalls
> "Kerry is a lard ass"
> "Tori smells like fish"
> "Laura is a dirty fucking cunt ho bitch and sucks dicks"
> we laugh or face off
> serves the fucking sluts right
> it was the perfect crime
> no one saw us
> we go back to class
> get called into the principals office
> fucking Peter wrote, "ANON + PETE 4EVE" on the stall
> 4 weeks detention

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>>580836754
> Peter is in our art class today
> everyone's making Valentines day cards
> "no one's going to make you one anon"
> it hurts so much but I just laugh
> "IF YOU MUS KNOW. IM MUKKING HIM WUN"
> everyone laughs and calls me and Pete gay lovers
> Pete hands me a card "HI ANON LOVE PETER"
> there's a picture of two stick man peeing on some boots
> a tear falls from my face onto the card
> "Fuck off Pete, I'm not gay."
> his smile rots away
> throw his card in the trash and try and laugh about it with the other guys
> no one talks to me
> everyone hands out their hand made valentines
> I get none
> bell rings
> everyone leaves
> go into trash, and pull out my card
> find Peter waiting for his special bus
> tell him I was just joking
> "I KNOW BUDDEH GOOD ONE HURUHURHUR HAPPY VALEMTIMES."
> pats me on the back
> take card home
> Dad finds it
> tell him it's from a foreign girl named Petra who's shitty at written english
> he pats me on the shoulder
> "You sly dog."

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Bump for pete

Pls comment if you want more, don't want this to 404.

>>580837257
Moarrr

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Time Runs fast for tards

"BULLISMO BULLISMO!"

bumping for pete

pete is my hero

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> fucking Peter wrote, "ANON + PETE 4EVE" on the stall
MY SIDES

>>580837257
you got talent bro
natural story teller

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>>580837047
> spring comes
> most of the girls are already starting puberty
> Kerry got some HUGE FUCKING TITS practically over night
> can't stop thinking about Kerry and her fucking bazongers
> tell Peter I'd give a million bucks to see her fucking tits
> "HOW MUCH IS YOUR MEOWT?" he said as he pointed to my backpack where I kept my pokemon cards
> "uhh...."
> I cracked a devilish smile on my ugly mug
> "About a million."
> he gets up out of his chair
> "Sit down Pete" says his aid
> he just runs past her
> goes right up to kerry and yanks off her shirt and training bra
> whole class is stunned
> holy shit
> I fucking gaze at her boobs
> fucking beauties
> "CAN YOU SEE DEM?" screams Pete
> she covers up and starts to cry
> he runs back to me
> as the aid and teacher chase him down I hand him the card
> "MEEEEEOWTH DATS RIGHT"

Post your face. I wanna see what kinda ugly levels we're dealing with

> "MEEEEEOWTH DATS RIGHT"

in orbit

Pete is the man. Boobies for a pokemon card good deal.

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Not sure if made up, but this is genuinely interesting. Bump for Pete.

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>>580837653
> kids start making fun of me for hanging around Pete all the time
> became known as "the tards friend"
> don't even mind because it feels better to be known as the kid who hangs around a retard rather than the ugly kid, you know?
> life is getting better
> teacher doesn't even call on me anymore
> I'm practically assimilated
> I just hang around Pete all day doing fuck all
> teachers tell my mom that I've turned into quite the leader and have really made Peter feel like he's part of the class
> mom tells me I should invite Pete over for lunch
> tell her it's not a good idea but we do it anyways
> arrange it with his aid
> mom picks us up at lunch
> asks him what he wants for lunch
> "I DANNO, WHAVER ANON HAS"
> "What's the favourite thing your mom makes you?"
> "My mom is dayed"
> silence all the way back
> not really sure what happened to his mom to be honest--but he never really knew her
> mom makes grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup
> Pete loves it
> we're laughing our heads off making burping sounds and calling my mom a "tomutto lady"
> "I LUVVVVVVVV UTTTTTTTT I JUS DO" he said as he chugged his bowl
> it was seriously the best lunch I've had
> we go back to school with red fucking soup mustaches and the residue of laughs in our bellies
> I am so fucking happy
> "nice mustache, you ugly fucking cock face"

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ayy lmao

bumping for moar

Goddamn it OP, faster!

Bump for the legendary Pete.

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>>580838173
> from that point on I had fucking had it with the kids at my school
> no matter what I did I was just the ugly monster...
> so I only played with Pete
> we decided, well I did, and Pete just joined in, that our lives would be dedicated to fucking over every person who fucked with us... and called us retarded or ugly
> so we nicky nine doored this Lee bitch
> I'd been to her birthday the year before
> her grandma answered
> we start laughing in the bushes
> "who's there?" she said
> she goes back in
> ring her doorbell again
> "hello? who's there?"
> "YO BUTT. IT STINK" screamed Pete
> we laugh our ugly faces off and high fived each other and then ran away

bumps

bumppppppppppp

bump this is great

>>580836087
Lurking

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>>580838609
> it's "passion week"
> basically the school has all these modules you can sign up for, that you get to do for a week--it's basically options, for elementary kids, it's stupid
> Pete and I don't give a fuck so we never hand in our forms
> both of us end up in cooking class
> they bring in a real chef to teach us how to do stuff and we go on a field trip to an actual kitchen to make cookies
> tons of parents join us
> and yet still... the unrelenting harassment continues
> Peter and I are playing the number game on the bus...he was odds, I was evens.
> my mom was one of the parent helpers for the field trip
> hear the other kids laughing at us
> "jesus fuck... did you see anon's mom? How the fuck did that nice woman give birth to such an ugly fuck?"
> mom doesn't say anything
> Peter turns around hocks a huge fucking loogey and spits right at some random kids face
> "DUN YOU EVER DISPECT MY TOMUTO MUMMEH AGAIN"
> Peter gets told for spitting, he's not coming in... him and his aid have to wait on the bus
> try and explain he was just defending me but the teacher doesn't care
> go in...
> learn to make cookies
> Megan complains that she's my partner, "I don't want him touching my food... with his ugly hands"
> even my hands are ugly I guess
> "fine whatever... you just make them"
> sitting there staring at the clock
> every once in a while I'll get up and pretend to be the life of the party when my mom comes around
> "Haha great joke, Megan!"
> "what the hell are you talking about?"
> so depressed
> class is almost over
> all of a sudden see Pete in the kitchen
> he ran out of the bus and tracked me down
> Megan walks over to tell on him
> Pete opens the oven and puts Megan's backpack inside and turns it all the way up
> kitchen starts smoking
> teacher and parents ask what that smell is...
> Pete cracks an anime eyes closed smile, "YA COOKIE IS BEWNING MAYAN."

>>580838609
>inb4 she answers the door and gets on the dinosaur

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>>580838909
> Pete got suspended for the spitting and backpack burning so I didn't see him for a while
> one night out of no where I get a call
> muffled breathing
> "Hello?"
> muffled breathing
> "Hello?"
> "YOU LIKE WONTONGS?"
> Pete's Dad comes on the phone and tells me it's Peter's birthday and their going out for chinese food and I am invited
> an hour later they pull up to my house in this beaten up old shit car
> Peter pushes his dad out of the way and honks the horn for what seems like hours for me to come
> get in
> no one says a fucking word to me the whole ride
> it's like I was going to be killed or something mafia style
> we arrive at the restaurant
> Pete stays in the car
> "Pete can't come in. He doesn't like the Chinese."
> "oh"
> we go inside get the food and the come out and eat it in the car
> not at home...but in the fucking car in the parking lot
> every time a chinese person exits the restaurant Pete stops eating closes his eyes and covers his ears
> wut
> "OOOOOOOOOO SPITHY EH ANON" he said as he ate his sweet ginger beef
> on the way back as the Dad is about to turn right, Pete takes the wheel
> "Peter what are you doing?!!! PETER STOP!"
> We almost crash into a car
> Peter starts singing "IT MY BIRTHDAY AN ILL CRY IF WAAAANNNA CRY IF A WANNNNA"
> out of nowhere his dad goes, "those fucking chinks put msg in his fucking food again."

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Could everyone who is lurking comment, because I'd like to know how many are reading, don't want to write all this for just a small crowd.

more anon for the love of god type/paste faster

I hope this story ends with a school shooting. Seems like there are quite a few candidates for an early death here.

wtf is this

please nigga keep typing. this is gold

Bamp

>Ran an HDMI cable from my PC to the living room TV last night, was watching movies
>Forgot about this
>Woke up this morning, decided to have a fap.
>Xhamster, find vid of a couple blondes doing some guy on a beach.
>Fap commences
>Could hear ppl in living room cheering
>Figured they were watching a game or something
>Continue to fap
>Cheering continues
>Finish
>Clean up
>Feel thirsty
>Open bedroom door
>'Morning Anon. We're going to the beach later'
>"Anon wana come? Who knows, you might meet some hot blondes?'
>Notice HDMI cable
>Realise they were watching my porn with me
>Laugh


Didn't go to beach. It's fucking hot today.

Lurker, standing by

msg
my sides

moar Pete now

keep writing op

keep goin

give me more pete motherfucker

yepp lurking

we're listening

Ok assholes!

Post a pic of you and Pete!!

MOAR!!! Make this for Pete!!

i demand more pete

>>580839858
this

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>>580839148
> Peter's back in school now
> but he's different
> the school forced his dad to commit to some sort of medicine for Pete
> Pete just stares and smiles now
> he's like full on down syndrome
> just raises his hands some times like a frisbee is flying at his face
> try and cheer him up by cutting chunks of the girl's hair in front of me
> girl finally feels me tugging at her hair after like the 3rd fucking snip
> turns around notices her hair on the floor
> screams for the teacher
> I get dragged to the principals but the entire time im just staring back at Pete
> he's not even smiling
> just sort of looking sad move his hands a little
> I did everything I could do to not cry
> those fucking bastards wrecked the only good thing in this world...the only kind heart...
> they would pay

>>580839535
>implying hdmi cables are that long

come on OP moar Pete

>>580839854
pete better become president by the end of this

>>580837257
Moar pls

>>580839858
>>580839915
Guys, hate to burst bubbles, but that story has been reposted before.

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>>580840017
> Peter's back in school now
> but he's different
> the school forced his dad to commit to some sort of medicine for Pete
> Pete just stares and smiles now
> he's like full on down syndrome
> just raises his hands some times like a frisbee is flying at his face
> try and cheer him up by cutting chunks of the girl's hair in front of me
> girl finally feels me tugging at her hair after like the 3rd fucking snip
> turns around notices her hair on the floor
> screams for the teacher
> I get dragged to the principals but the entire time im just staring back at Pete
> he's not even smiling
> just sort of looking sad move his hands a little
> I did everything I could do to not cry
> those fucking bastards wrecked the only good thing in this world...the only kind heart...
> they would pay

>>580839410
Good shit anon

>>580840189
>>580840017
posted same thing type mate

> Peter's back in school now
> but he's different
> the school forced his dad to commit to some sort of medicine for Pete
> Pete just stares and smiles now
> he's like full on down syndrome
> just raises his hands some times like a frisbee is flying at his face
> try and cheer him up by cutting chunks of the girl's hair in front of me
> girl finally feels me tugging at her hair after like the 3rd fucking snip
> turns around notices her hair on the floor
> screams for the teacher
> I get dragged to the principals but the entire time im just staring back at Pete
> he's not even smiling
> just sort of looking sad move his hands a little
> I did everything I could do to not cry
> those fucking bastards wrecked the only good thing in this world...the only kind heart...
> they would pay

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>>580840189
> for some reason I blamed the school nurse
> though now I realize she probably had nothing to do with the prescription and it was the principal and teachers
> decide to fight fire with fire
> they drugged my boy, I'd drug theres
> problem is I didn't have any drugs
> I smirked as I opened the pantry door, and then tucked a bottle into my backpack and went off to school
> pretend to be sick and ask to see school nurse
> nurse is this hot thing
> tell her my tummy is hurting
> she goes into her back room to get some gravol or some shit
> take the CHILI POWDER out of my backpack and poor a fucking mound of it in her coffee
> large chunks of it swirl around as I try and stir it in with my finger
> wait in her office until she grabs the coffee without looking and takes a large gulp of her morning jo
> I grow a huge shit eating grin
> ear to ear
> she spits it out all over desk
> "Spicccccccccy" I cackle
> get 1 week detention but its worth it

Pete is my favorite tard so far, even better than Neal

> Peter's back in school now
> but he's different
> the school forced his dad to commit to some sort of medicine for Pete
> Pete just stares and smiles now
> he's like full on down syndrome
> just raises his hands some times like a frisbee is flying at his face
> try and cheer him up by cutting chunks of the girl's hair in front of me
> girl finally feels me tugging at her hair after like the 3rd fucking snip
> turns around notices her hair on the floor
> screams for the teacher
> I get dragged to the principals but the entire time im just staring back at Pete
> he's not even smiling
> just sort of looking sad move his hands a little
> I did everything I could do to not cry
> those fucking bastards wrecked the only good thing in this world...the only kind heart...
> they would pay

>>580839410
i dont know how much of this is real but holy fuck this is beautiful. keep going for the love of god

bump for based pete

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>>580840316
>>580840446
Sorry mate, trying my best over here.

> tell Pete about how I drugged the nurse with chili powder but he doesn't care
> he's out of it
> he just sits there and stares
> I start crying and shaking Pete, telling him to fucking laugh
> "Laugh you fucking sonuva bitch!"
> "Pete...I know you're in there...don't leave me Pete... Pete..."
> he just kind of squeals and moans
> "Pete" I cry "stop it Pete...please...don't leave me Pete..."
> he's just an empty shell...his eyes are perma-thousand yard staring
> start smacking him, telling him to fucking wake up...that I needed him...
> his aid tells me to stop as I'm bothering him...
> after that Pete gets taken out of our class and is put permanently into the tard class
> get 1 week of detention for my outburst

time flies when you're a faggot

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>>580840674
> "where's you're fucking retard friend, you ugly fucking loser"
> I turn around to see George saying those words to me
> my old best bud...
> "god you're such a fucking loser..."
> a bunch of girls are sitting at his table, they all laugh
> "eww he's looking at me."
> "can you just fucking stop it? It was okay when you did it to me before...because I had Pete... but...just stop...please...just for one day."
> they snicker
> I turn around and punch George in the face
> "You think it's funny?"
> Everyone stops doing their group work
> all eyes on me
> "Laugh some more George"
> "Anon.."
> I kick him in the face and chip his tooth
> teacher picks up the phone and calls for the principal to come ASAP
> I leave the room
> and run for the tard class

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pete is kill

Bumping for peeeeteeeaaar

>>580840674
and you're doing a great job, thanks anon

>>580838192
saved

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I have no more sorry!

still lurking, still wanna see how ugly you are

Oh geez, I'm gonna get teary soon aren't I?

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>>580840867
Just kidding you fucking faggots.
> I'm gonna get suspended for kicking george...
> it's just a matter of time before they find me
> I open the tard classroom door
> they are playing with playdough
> I grab Pete's hand, and lead him out the door as fast as I can
> his aid notices
> chases after us
> right before we get to the door she pins me down
> "STOP! What are you doing?!!! Where are you taking Peter? You can't just---"
> I'm squirming like mad trying to get out of her hambeast clutches
> principal and teacher spot us from down the hall...
> "Get off me you fat fucking cunt"
> hear a snicker... look up
> "what did you call me?" says the woman
> Peter' holding a dictionary over his head and he slams it down on his aids head
> "LUK IT UP BISH"
> get out from under her fat wobby body and exit the doors with Pete
> we're on the fucking lamb

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God dam u op

>>580835694
Go back to jezebel. Nobody says "the actual fuck" except pompous assholes.

>>580841070
Don't you fucking dare...

OP was not a faggot yet

>>580841070
Nah, fucking continue cunt.
You don't end a story like that.

>>580841187
hahahaha!! Yessss!

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>>580841187
> we have maybe a 1 minute lead...
> we run for the bushes of the house across the street
> as soon as we lay down on the ground hidden behind the foliage the teacher and principal exit the doors
> they are joined by the janitor
> they start calling our names
> and running down opposite sides of the street
> "ANON?"
> "Pete?" I said cry laughing.
> "I GOTTA MURKA SHURT"
> he knocks on the door of the house
> some old guy answers and Pete just walks right on in
> "what in the blazes?!" says the man
> "he's gotta use the bathroom sorry." I said
> the man let him poo and then we exited through his back yard...

Pete!!!

>>580840469
Neal is hard to beat

>>580841070
> Peter's back in school now
> but he's different
> the school forced his dad to commit to some sort of medicine for Pete
> Pete just stares and smiles now
> he's like full on down syndrome
> just raises his hands some times like a frisbee is flying at his face
> try and cheer him up by cutting chunks of the girl's hair in front of me
> girl finally feels me tugging at her hair after like the 3rd fucking snip
> turns around notices her hair on the floor
> screams for the teacher
> I get dragged to the principals but the entire time im just staring back at Pete
> he's not even smiling
> just sort of looking sad move his hands a little
> I did everything I could do to not cry
> those fucking bastards wrecked the only good thing in this world...the only kind heart...
> they would pay

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bump

holly shit moar!

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>>580841451
> we walked aimlessly for a while
> and hid behind some cars when we heard sirens
> I really thought Pete killed his aid... when the first siren whizzed by
> "Are you okay man?"
> he nodded and smiled
> As we walked down the sidewalk Pete began to stagger and then right before he fell I caught him
> "Pete are you okay?"
> "HEY YOU LIKE WONGTONGS?"
> he pointed to the chinese restaurant down the way
> we walked inside and got a table for 2

>>580836087
I had a similar experience to Sara.
I played cards occasionally with this gay kid and he thought we were best friends because of it.
At 8th grade graduation, they played the pre-recorded interviews with every student and one of the questions was "what is your favorite memory" and the gay kid said "Any thing I did with Anon".
I turned to look at all the girls who were snickering and I just said AW HELL NAW.

Bamp

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>>580841451

bet those were shooped.

>>580841187
Kids can be so evil.

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>>580837257

bamping pls continue OP