Things not to ask your gf >implying any of you faggots have one

>>580582267
"Why cant I talk to her?" Fuckiing LOL if my bf ever asked me this motherfucking question.

>>580582397
Jessica?

>>580582397
Femanon? You know what to do

>>580582472
pls.. Thats my moms name, callme ertg ;)

>What do you think of this?

>>580582397
insecure in your hold on him?

all you have to do is blow his mind in bed, and you don't have to worry about him trying to find other women.

but then again, bitches be lazy

the same holds true if you reverse the sexes in the above statement.

>>580582472
kek

>>580582267

I don't have a girlfriend. I'm a 28 year over weight loser with a neck beard who has braces. I have a useless college degree in religious studies and live with my parents. I don't have a job.

> I value your opinion, what do you think of that?

>>580582267
>hey babe, did you take your pill?

>>580582267
>Was ex's dick bigger than mine?

>>580582625

>the same holds true if you reverse the sexes in the above statement.

You phrased that awfully and you should feel awful.

>>580582637
>religious studies
kek

>>580582267
Hey, do you know about that crazy site 4chan? Here, let me show you...

>>580582625
no i just dont like other bitches. Hes MY best friend and my boyfriend, not any othergrils. thats why, not cos i think hes gonna fuck anybody else.
>>580582637 grow up then. being fat hasd nothing to do with finding a gf? mybf is chubby, i dont like skinn, non-hairy guys. lol, shave your neckbeard dont wear fedoras and why the fuck ould you study religious shit, even imsmart enough to know to get my a+ in IT

>>580583018
she knows

>>580583018
why would u date a bitch who dont know her fucking interwebz? fucking highass

>>580583075

nope not my Jessica, she's too dumb for IT

she needs help putting files on a usb

>>580583493
FUCKING LOLOLOLOLOL lol, ur funny anon..... ur srs? ._.

>>580583484
Afraid she'll post her tits on here. Then she'll get all the affirmation she needs from you beta white knight faggots and not crave my nod of approval while she chokes on my penis.

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"have you ever tried letting your dog lick your pussy?"

>>580582267
Suck muh kek?

>>580582809
>can't tell if serious.jpg

>>580583736
kek

>>580583593
completely srs

>>580583656
oh, dontdate a whore then. because if she was normal, she wouldntbe gay and just go on b. i understand ur perspective though
>>580583957
LOL thats funny, its like the easiest subject. mostly guys take onto that profession though so whatever. shes like the other 85% of people which is why we can have jobs

>>580582267
Are you getting fat?

>>580583736
Asked my lesbian friend is she ever did that.

My dog was in the room she had her pants off and legs spread and spread eagle..

He took one sniff, licked her thigh once then went and laid down in his kennel.

>>580583957
shit m8

>>580582267
>why don't you use a douche?

best pussy I've ever had was from a grill that used one...she was only 17 which helped, but her pussy smelled like flowers.

>>580584331
it causes yeast infections

Don't ask how many men she has been with. She will lie anyway. Not a good idea.

Don't ask her for anal unless she is into that sort of thing.

Don't ask for a 3 way. Someone always gets their feeling hurt and it just might me you.

Don't ask her to marry you. That never helps

Don't ask to wear her clothes. That's just sick man.

>>580584191
Asked my girlfriend if she gained weight once. She cried for ten minutes. Lesson learned...

>>580584481
dont ask for anal..? lol who asks...... ;)

>>580584582
Kek

>>580584582
top kek

>>580583075
>because I don't like other girls and I am an overprotective 4/10, I'm going to keep you to myself and never let you talk to other females
That's sexism towards your own gender, you insecure cunt.

>>580584582
toppest kek

>>580582637
fucking newfag

>m/22/bachelor in philosophy and ancient history
>ITT I work in advertising
>live in my own place
>have no gf, fwb instead
>grow a pair

>>580584525
One time my girlfriend sent me a selfie, and I tried to respond with "gay" but it auto corrected to "fat" somehow
Even though I immediately explained she still was pissed at me all night

>>580584469
no it prevents infections retard

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>>580582267
Are you cheating on me?
How to ruin a relationship 101.

>>580584928
OR LOLOLOLLOLOL FUCKING LOLfoLOL!>!!?? M8, or i dontlike other girls because i see all these camwhores on b and fb when i choose to even go on, and im not gonna rate myself because im not a faget. I will keep him to myself. he can have all the guy friends he wants, i dont talk to guys and he dont talk to girls? plus, if girls didnt do such a GREAT FUCKING JOB making a name for themself, then he could have girl friends. he doesnt like women anyways because they dont listen and think that they can talk shit without being hit. myob faget
>>580585205
and no it doesnt. it causes them, doucheing and g strings cause yeast infection, fucvking idiot

>>580585232
If that ruins your relationship then yeah she's cheating on you lmao

>>580585457
This

do these pant's make my ass look fat

>>580583736
tfw my ex did this for me multiple times

>>580585457
It's never happened to me. I know countless people who have ruined relationships by asking it. LMAO RTARD xD

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>>580585593
>mfw my gf asks me this
>mfw I say yes
>takes it as a compliment because she has a fucking nice Jamaican butt

White girls have no fucking shape to them

OP ABANDONING THREAD. GOOD NIGHT FAGGOTS

>>580585456
>generalizing all women as the same and not realizing that people are all different and your fat boyfriend probably can't fuck these girls because you're both landwhales made for each other
You're like a reverse feminist with all of the stupidity.

>>580584928
>That's sexism towards your own gender, you insecure cunt.

You don't know what sexism is go away.

>>580585593
didnt know this was the 1980s

>>580585456
You should probably oil yourself you psychotic cunt.

>>580586308
You're right, I apparently don't. I think I used the wrong word. What's the word for just assuming all women are the same because they are women?

>>580586619

That's not what she was doing.

>>580586619
stupid idiot

Ask why her older brother killed himself.

Cause my gf's brother killed himself and she found him minus top third of his grad.

>>580587227
>minus top third of his grad.
Uwot

>>580587432
Head. Autocorrected to grad.

He shot himself in the head when she was 12. Apparently nobody heard the shot, and she found him the next morning when she went to tell him the school bus was coming.

I asked why once and she cried for two hours. Shit was not cash.

>>580582397
>>580582536
>>580583075
>>580583484
>>580583593
>>580584173
>>580584469
>>580584582
>>580585456
Tits or GTFO!

>are you going to eat that?
>are you going to wear that?
>are you gonna put on makeup?
>how much have you drank already?

>So... you're not diseased, right?

>>580588197
Topkek what a pussy. Both of them.

>>580589348
It was super awkward when she told me. We'd been dating two months and she was always telling me how much I reminded her of him and how great that was... So I'm like "can't wait to meet him..."

>>580589638
>always telling me how much I reminded her of him and how great that was
Well that is not creepy at all.

>>580586619
>>580586410
>>580588426
>>580585456
>>580586287
You guys are so high, I dont like girls and dont want my bf talking to them because MOST girls are camwhores. Im an opposite femanists. You know what? I almost forgot where I am, b, where all the fucking faggets roam and think people are "landwhales" when they say something you dont like and can never get fucked because if they dont see somebodys tits on the internet, then it doesnt matter. why do you faggots abuse tits or gtfo so much.

>>580582267
>why isnt your vagina tight?

>>580589638
Nigger you made me lose topkek

Seems like she walked right into that one though or she was fishing for sympathy.

My dad killed himself when I was young so I'd avoid conversations about my parents or subtlely change the subject instead of saying 'oh your dads breddy cool MINES DEAD THANKS FOR ASKING'.

Just seems weird for her to say stuff like that and for you not to ask about him or say what you did. People handle it differently though I guess.

"Wanna come to the gym with me?"

I tried this one guys, no matter how thinly veiled I thought it'd be - it doesn't work.

>>580590140
Protip: all girls claim they are different from all the other girls so when you do it, we know not only that you are lying, but that you are delusional as well.

>>580582267

>there's something wrong?

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"Why is there hair on your asshole?"

>>580590140
Because the fact that it annoys you is why /b/ does it.

Also, because tits.

>>580582472
Cora?

>>580590437
This one got me dumped.

>>580590509

Why do you have to type like a child and behave immaturely unnecessarily?

Is that just an innate female thing?

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>>580590509
>picture related

>>580583075
> i dont like skinn, non-hairy guys.

Translation:
>I can't get in shape, regular looking dudes. They need to be lardass bigfoot motherfuckers

>>580590140
>I dont like girls and dont want my bf talking to them because MOST girls are camwhores

>some girls are shit so just in case DONT EVER TALK TO ONE EVER JUST IN CASE

kill yourself

>Im an opposite femanists.
Topkek kill yourself again

>where all the fucking faggets roam and think people are "landwhales" when they say something you dont like

You're the one freaking out about people disagreeing with you, you fat fuck.

>can never get fucked because if they dont see somebodys tits on the internet, then it doesnt matter
What does this even mean?

>why do you faggots abuse tits or gtfo so much.
Does this really need explaining?

Do yourself, your boyfriend, your family and society a favour by flinging yourself off a tall building you deranged psychopathic crackwhore.

>>580590782
>>580590772
>>580590696
:O

>>580590692
>pointing out facts to women

What are you? Some kind of casual?

>>580584469
You realise that's just a myth from girls who don't want to clean their smegma ridden vaginas?

That's like saying an uncut dude washing his foreskin will get a yeast infection. It's fucking retarded.

>>580584582
First kek of the day

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>>580590782

>having hair as a man means you are a bigfoot

Translation:
>it takes me 4 weeks to grow a beard, I have estrogen filled man tits, my arms look like women's arms and my voice is bitch as fuck

Do you really like me?
Do you even care about me?
Will you marry me?( this is for your own good)

>>580585876
if bait, congrats. if not, you are disgusting. They are literally the worst kind of black people (maybe haitians

>>580590808
should i livesteam it? i mean, i dont think itd matter, im so fat that my blubber will just break the fall, s are you sure?

>>580591143
Dude body hair has so little to do with standing testosterone levels. It's literally all genetics, not hormones. Also some dudes have hairy ass chests and thick beards and like no hair at all on their arms.

Plus how the fuck do you explain kykes and another near eastern abominations? Some of them are the most effeminate and gay fuckers on the planet yet they're all hairy as shit.

>>580591176
Topkek you don't know what you're talking about.

>half Jamaican half British
>black daddy wasn't even around for birth
>raised by upper middle class white people

She hates niggers more than I hate them. Its truly a fucking jackpot.

>>580590808
Top kek

I misread flinging yourself

Read it as fingering yourself off a tall building....

Coeworks won't stop staring at me laughing at my phone -_-

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"Why are your tits so small?"

"Can you fix me somethin to eat and get me a glass of water?"

"Your friend's looks good in that picture"

"I like shemale porn"

"Can we have regulations on the amount of time we spend together?"

"It's just a dog, why do you care so much, he'll eventually die soon anyway"

"You can't look through my phone"

"I think that's enough pringles for now"

>>580590003
Meh. I figured she was just another lonely girl away at college. I'm doing my masters now and was a TA in one of her classes last semester.

I sometimes feel I take too much advantage if my position.

>>580590201
Lol.

She's kinda awkward/nerdy. Doesn't get out much, only other boyfriend experience was a guy who raped her in high school, plays more vidya than I do, browsed /b/, /a/, /tg/..

>>580590201
See,

>>580590312
>>580590448
And either post feet or depart.

>>580591818
All of these are on point except the second... what's your angle on that exactly?

Bitches make food all the time...

>>580591836
I'd have made her call me her brothers name as I came in her, but that is just me.

>>580591818
>you can't look through my phone

Hell yeah. God forbid you want to right through their shit.

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>>580591463

Just because a man is gay doesn't mean he has low testosterone.

Fact of the matter is, women are attracted to body hair on men as opposed to entirely smooth bodies men for a reason - it's a masculine trait. Why do you even think males have more body hair than women in both natural examples? It is a trait gender-distinctive trait which triggers sexual arousal and attraction towards negating the same sex for the opposite sex in straight people.

Heck, why do you think 40+ year old women start developing visible mustache hair when their estrogen levels lower, causing their testosterone levels to be higher?

Testosterone is a big factor in the difference between male and female - but it is not the only factor, other factors come into play - for example, deep voices are not controlled by hormones - nor can they be toned down by hormones - but they are dominance male driven traits, just like hair.

Face it, you made that post based on your complete innate insecurity towards your own lack of hair as a male, and it is something you've resented for a very long time.

Have fun waiting 4 weeks to grow a beard - an ability, not a requirement, akin to an emblem for maleness.

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>>580592115
Call me a fag, but I'm not into wincest.

It's actually pretty awkward because I frequently use variations of the phrase "kill yourself". Seems to mostly go right over her head, but I let one slip in front of her mom once at a dinner thing.

They keep pictures of him all over the house, and his ashes on the coffee table. It's weird.

>>580591836
>only other boyfriend experience was a guy who raped her in high school

Lost hard to this

>>580585113
Your phone is not a bro, burn it.

>>580592750
Nigger did you tell your gf to kill herself in front of her mother who lost a son to suicide? If yes 10/10