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Rate my Cum Altar, /b/...

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 243
Thread images: 107

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Rate my Cum Altar, /b/...
>>
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Should I redo it next summer?
>>
10/10 very normal thing to do.
>>
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It was GREAT fun - about 15 visits last year...
>>
inb4 epic thread
>>
Cum altar... that's a great idea. would bang / 9 11
>>
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>>580230208
:D Ah, yes. I know it's different...

But I consider it an art. Something creative, powerful.
>>
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>>580230292
Thanks, man! Ever consider joining the effort?
>>
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>>580230312
God, I'd love to have you out there with me. Up for a j/o session on her?
>>
noko
>>
>>580230578
Why not ?!
>>
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>>580230583
Hile, oldfag. thanks for stopping in. You like?
>>
>>580230084
Tells us more about your altar of cum
>>
very picturesque stone

8.5/10 would ejaculate several time on it
>>
>>580230695
Awesome! You have a camera and a printer? I would love to see you work her over...
>>
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>>580230729
IT's a place just off the hiking trail at work. I print pics of my hot redheaded coworker off at work, take them out to this spot about 100 yards from our office building...
>>
BREAD IS BOASTING

can we get an ID on this female /b/? that would make this epic.
>>
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>>580230729
I then strip nude and start to fap to her lovely face...
>>
who is she
>>
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>>580231110
I work with her. We're friends. She makes me want to cum and cum and cum.... All week long, work is nothing but one big hardon.
>>
>>580230928
>thumbnail

epic
>>
Op post timestamp
>>
So OP, back story. How'd you find this rock? And why do you cum on it?
>>
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>>580230979
>be her
>decide to go for a relaxing walk one day on her lunchbreak
>get about 100 yards away from work
>smell something like rotting baby gravy
>start looking around to make sure it's not a dead body
>find little fucked up bits of paper stuck to a large stone
>realize that all the papers have pictures of her
>realize that they're falling apart because they're covered in jizz
>call police
>DNA test altar of nucleic acid
>police arrest OP
>hfw
>>
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>cum altar
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>>580231046
You would make it FAR more epic if you'd help me cum on her. IDing her will only lessen the amount of OC on this board.
>>
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Now that's dedication. 10/10 op
>>
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>mfw cum altar
>>
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please someone screencap this
Today OP was not a fag
>>
>not having a cum altar
Newfags
>>
>>580230084
Uhm...
your altar sucks its only a rock
>>
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mfw
>>
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>>580231527
>>580231536
>>580231580
>>580231715
Thanks, all.
Shit, she was here again. Almost busted...
>>
I used to think this guy was kind of weird but then I realized I pretty much jack off in the exact same place hundreds of times a year and now I think its at least kind of cool the OP gets outside once in a while.
>>
Are you a cyborg? What's that shit on your balls?
>>
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>>580231828
Mah man! Thanks for putting it so clearly even a newfag can sympathize!
>>
Toasting in epic bread
>>
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Thank you for this, OP. You are truly a god amongst men
>>
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>>
And nobody has questioned the weird metal shit around his balls...
>>
just popping in to say hi. i remember the first time you started posting these..
>>
>>580231978
uh they're ball stretchers fucking duh
>>
omg it's this guy again haha what a mental case.
>>
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>>580231924
Rings, oth steel and brass. Stretching balls is amazing, you should try it!
>>
>>580231828
yeah bitches dig guys that participate in outdoor activities
>>
I'll definetly to this when i get the chance! But maybe indoors because the weather sucks here.
9/11 OP would like epic threads like this all day
>>
What the fuck is that clamp on your nuts OP?
>>
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fuck shiet its a cum altar
>>
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>>580231807
can you post that pic, i wanna cum on that pretty face !
>>
>>580232101
What's the goal here? Lemme see your balls with the rings off.
>>
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>>580231972
>>580231960
THANKS!

YOU guys are my droogs...
>>
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Never change /b/ never change
>>
>>
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>>580232178
You BETTER deliver!
*waits without much hope*
>>
>>580230084
is it really you or did you just save the pics?
>>
>>580231416

>IDing her will only lessen the amount of OC on this board.

This Nigger is King. People like you give worth to /b/.
>>
>>580231580
>someone screencap this
>I am a nigger ocksucking faggot who is unable to do the easyest tasks
>I don't like to do something on my own, because I suck at life
why do you even exist
>>
>>580230084
What would you do if she found out, OP?
>>
>>580230578
Dutch rudder time
>>
>>580232196
You're jizzing on a picture of you jizzing.
>>
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>>580232120
Email me... we can work together all winter!
>>
>>580230084
anyone already tried to imagesearch that cunt?
>>
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>>
>>580230084
Wat
>>
>>580230084

can i do this in the desert?

should we geotag cum altars?
>>
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>>580232410
>>
>>580231078
If you go there so much, how is there not a small trail starting to form where you go to it?
>>
>>580232412
I emailed you like 4 days ago and you never hit me back.
jbarrow1982 at jupimail.com

>>580232542
>geocumming
>>
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>>580232316
This most certainly is me!
>>580232346
Depends on what her reaction was... ;)
>>
>>580231352
It's in a trail that's behind his work. She's probably there right now.
>>
>>580232196
>we need to go deeper
>>
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>>580232410
it's lonelynessception
>>
>>580232412
>work together
kek
>>
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>>580230084
>tfw cum altar
>>
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why would you make the effort to do this? I mean just blow your load at home, jesus, having to hike into the middle of fucking nowhere in all kinds of weather with shit pictures gradually getting worse with each visit. There seems to be no venerating paraphanalia for it to be a real alter. God you're weird AND dumb OP.

I hope the cum attracts insects that attract birds which attract feral cats that wreck you mid orgasm the next time you go out there.
>>
>>580232101
> oh yes just chilllin naked in the woods, with my ball rings on, covered in oil. The usual
>>
>>580232574
She would love it. Trust me, i have a gf
>>
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This fucking thread...
>>
>>580232542
> Geotag cum altars
This is briliant.
>>
>>580230084
>This entire thread.
>>
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>>580232569
I TOTALLY DID!

Check your email...
>>
>>580230578
whats that on your balls /b/ro?
>>
>>580232542
How do I into cum alter geotag
>>
>>580232689

Because he secretly wants someone to find out. Part of the excitement is that he might get caught.
>>
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>>580230084
>>
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>>580232560
I'm not a clumsy clodhopper.... I take care.

>>580232890
;)

Also, I think a bear was here.
>>
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>>580232101
Cut ourselves shaving did we

>this thread
>>
>>580232689
Feelsgoodman.jpg
>>
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>alter of cum
>>
>>580232802
sure you didn't reply to the yahoo address?
because i ditched that account after they asked for a phone number
>>
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>>580230084

7/10

Intriguing but still wtf
>>
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this thread....I don't.....
>>
Wtf. Why does heaven have a pic of bubbadub
>>
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>>580233041
That's it, too... Also, knowing her and seeing her every day, oblivious to the fact that she's a 4chan cum celebrity... gets my balls churning!

>>580233085
The yahoo is the one I had... Hold on...
>>
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>>580230084
>Cum Altar
It's bad enough we have shitheads worshiping some imaginary friends, but now this?
Before we know it we will all have cum altars, will visit cum churches and be a part of cum cults.

Thanks OP
>>
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>cum alter.
>>
>>580233286
No, I'm more of a t-shirt out of the hamper guy.
>>
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>>580230084
>>
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Add the location of your cum altar as a secret geocaching spot.

> Be me.
> Love geocaching.
> Go to new hidden area near small town.
> The whole forest smells like cum.
> Find a stone with bits of paper on it.
> Someone must have been here before me.
> Search the area around the stone.
> See tiny human/stone hybrid babies in the gras.
> wtf
> Decide to run away like hell.
> Turn around.
> A man stands behind me.
> He is nacked.
> He holds a piece of paper in his hand.
> His ballsack is stuck in some kind of contraption.
> Forces me to jizz on his cum altar as a sacrafice to his gods.
> mfw

Fucking geocaching.
>>
>>580233272
Gotta go to work. I'll check later and email you again.

Keep up the good work!
>>
>>580233272
>cuming on a pic of a dick cuming on a pic
>>
>doing all this to be praised on /b/
>>
>>580233272
thats kinda cp...
>>
>>580233003
So what's the goal of the rings? Where did you get them. My dick is average size but my balls are so large that they look like they belong on a 10" monster. I would like to learn oh to stretch them, because if it's possible to permanently make them larger/sack longer I'm game
>>
>>580233429
>please do not disturb

you should have never said that box.
>>
you should try with photo paper, its better to cum on
>>
>>580233482
cp would be a smaller problem compared to whatever his condition right now is.
>>
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>>580230084
ALL GLORY TO THE ALTAR OF CUM
>>
>>580233448
>yfw he will cum on a pic of a dick cumming on a pic of a dick
>>
>>580231357
Why arrested? Is there even a law that forces you to not to fap with anyone's face?
>>
>>580232302
Keep this thread alive, am printing picture now.
>>
>>580233562
can't argue wit that, OP we wish you a speedy recovery from whatever made you live your life as you are currently doing.
>>
>>580233562
You know he's reached a new low when CP is the least of his problems.
>>
I came on the same oak tree every day during deer season two years ago.. Does that make it a cum alter?
>>
>>580233479
/thread
>>
>more replies questioning that he is cumming on a picture of himself cumming on a picture than the fact he is also cumming on the picture of a child.

Love you /b/
>>
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>>580231357
>>
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>>580233530
Email me- redheadfacial at gmail

I'll help you get stretching!
>>
>>580231828
Good point.
>>
I remember you from ages ago. Hows it been this year?
>>
>>580232345
im too busy fapping and am too lazy to do that shit
>I am a nigger ocksucking faggot who is unable to do the easyest tasks
>I don't like to do something on my own, because I suck at life

Did you screencap it ? No, you bitched about it you putrid shit , you suck as much as I do.
why do you even exist
>>
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>>580233937
>>
Cumming outdoors in the forest feels great man.
>>
>>580233881
^This.
>>
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It's too early for this shit
>>
>>580234209
Agreed
>>
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>>580230084
>>
>>580233746
They would charge him with something, like any cop is gonna be like, "carry on"
>>
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>>580234074
Been a banner year! Busy at work, busy on lunch break, ifyouknowhatimean!
>>
>>580231807
op, take that thing off your balls, why would you do this? it's gonna elongate the skin
>>
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I came on top of my class in the pedo Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous ejaculations on stone alters, and I have over 300 confirmed spoofs. I am trained in bush near my work warfare and I’m the top wanker in the entire US pedo forces. You are nothing to me but just another bukake target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of alter pedos across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, faggot. The storm that cums on the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can cum anywhere, anytime, and I can ejaculate over you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed masterbation, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States alter pedo Corps and I will use it to print photo copys of your face out to be jacked off to on a crude stone alter, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will cum fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
>>580230084
I need one of those too
OP,you gave me an idea
>>
>>580234390
Managed to seek any new pairs of underwear away since I last seen you up date?
>>
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...
>>
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>>580234519
Awesome! Please do! Your own girl or my Red?
>>580234525
HA! NO, dammit!
>>
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.
>>
>>580234519

Hmmm... I just masturbated outside for the first time the other day and it was awesome. Behind a park in the woods behind an old farm house.
>>
Why is your scrote in a fucking tube contraption?
>>
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>>580234686
>>580234390
>>580233937
>>580233272
"Never give up; trust your instincts." - Peppy Hare
>>
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>>580234708
>>580234273
>>580234209
Now you know my feels! YES!
>>
>>580230487
hey op, give sauve of your picture please (i want the one with the tongue out)
>>
>>580234745
OP has a cum alter of a coworker that he's had going for years, has stolen her underwear and you ask why he has the shit on his balls?
>>
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>>580234690

what's in the box today?
>>
>>580231357
HAHAHA!
>>
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>>580234971
/b/ is fine with degrading women, but not with any sort of pain. It's a beta thing.
>>
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>>580234904
>>580234904
FUCKING AWESOME DUDE!!!!!!!
What shall I call you? Email me? I AM CUMMING ON THIS PIC NEXT AND WANT TO SHARE!
>>
I fucking love you OP. I had sort of a cum altar once, too. I had a house right behind a graveyard and used to go there at night and cum on a random grave. I lived there for about two years and went cumming maybe 1-2 times a week.
I think it's a primal impulse, marking my sexual territory or something like that. Who cares anyway.
>>
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>>580232410
>You're jizzing on a picture of you jizzing.
on a picture...
pic very related
>>
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>>580232196
took a picture of a picture...

>...why?
>>
>>580235158
You shall call me Tank, and my brother gets killed in the Matrix.
>>
>>580235103
a fuckin cum alter
>>
>>580235291
OP likes people cumming on her pics and he takes them to the alter to cum on them as well.

>NotEvenKidding.jpg
>>
>>580235158
What if you took her to the cum alter.. And fucked her ontop of it.. And then had her leak the cum out of her onto a picture of you fucking her on the cum alter...

Would you become a demigod?
>>
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>>580235291
It's a picture bukkake. Hotter than hot.
>>580235397
Yes, /b/ro.
>>
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>>580235198
>>580235158
>>
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>>580235460
I think SHE would become a goddess...
>>
>>580233937
Dude fucking yes this whole thread. Funniest thing I've seen in MONTHS.
I love you OP.
>>
>>580232302
>>580232302
Please post more picture of her, shes hot, wanna cum with you
>>
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this thread
>>
>>580234904
Holy shit. More people need to cum on this for his collection...
>>
This is fucking awesome
>>
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>>580235593
Thanks, man!

>>580235606
Hit this one. Hot as shit.
>>
>>580230159
wtf fuck are wearing you sad piece of useless
>>
>>580235814
Aw, that one's a lot more fappable than the one I coated. If I see this thread again, I will be ready.
>>
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Somehow I see this guy being the next David Kalac
>>
I just realized what is most disturbing thing about the OP.

Not the fact he es stretching his balls. Not the fact he has cum altar.

No.

The fact that his stomach is as hairy as mine.
>>
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It doesn't stop does it
>>
Holy shit I remember you. Aren't you that dude that's preying on her fucking daughter? You gave her a gift too. You posted pics of the daughter as well doing the same shit. FUCK YOU BRAH
>>
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>>580235779
>>580235761
email me before thread dies: redheadfacial at gmail!
>>
>>580235567
Have you tried fucking her or is that not an option?
>>
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>>580233272
>4chan cum celebrity...
>>
>The F.appenn.i.ng F.u.l.l Co.l.l.ec.ti.o.n
>>
>>580235981
What's the most inceptionized picture you have? Like how many times do you take a picture of a picture you came on
>>
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>>580233286
>Before we know it we will all have cum altars, will visit cum churches and be a part of cum cults.
>>
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Why is he masturbating in the woods, alone next to a large rock.
>>
dunno why nobody called this fag out for putting smiley faces
>>
Guys this dude used to post pictures of him cumming to his coworker's daughter.
I remember him giving the daughter a present
bec of her birthday.
>>
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>>580236008
Missed that boat. :/
>>
Haha! You are a proper freak OP. I have seen this thread on /soc/ as well a couple of times, they call you out for being a creep but you don't seem to care.

You realise you only get one shot at life yeah? You are spending it tramping in the woods and ejaculating onto a picture with your gross balls stretching equipment.

Makes me wonder how many undercover freaks are at where I work.
>>
>>580230084
>>580230084
Post more picture of her man, share the love
>>
>>580236324
No you haven't OP
You can still fuck her. She'll cheat
>>
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>>580236165
Here's one with four loads... but the steps were lost.
>>
>>580236324
Try again?
>>
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Am I the only one who is disturbed by OPs wording.
Like I get that you hike in to the forest and cum on pictures of your co workers and make a shrine, an that's cool.
But who the fuck says clodhopper?
>also, make a paper mâché model of her out of paper pictures and your semen
>deliver and become based god
>>
someone should get her ID and show her those pictures, omfg i think she would quit her job and leave the state/country.

allways wondering what has to happen to a child that he builds a cum alter, stretches his balls and jerks on to printed pictures of his average looking female coworker 10-20 years after his childhood.
>>
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>The Fap.pe.nn.i.n.g Fu.ll C.o.l.lec.t.ion
>>
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>>580235154
>It's a beta thing.
>>
>>580234519
>>580230084
I too need one of these, OP is def onto something
>>
>>580236320
No way
>>
> cum altar
> cum
> altar
this shit does not add up...
>>
>>580236483
I believe in you OP. Fuck this slut and post the pics here
>>
Im down for all of tis
>>
>>580233286
>cummunists
better than being a jew i guess
>>
>>580236943
Totally being serious. He started the thread
with just a picture of the daughter, then he gradually shown the "altar"
>>
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>>580232802
cum on the daughter too?
>>
>>580236675

Might have nothing to do with his childhood. He can't form meaningful relationships that is clear but it might be some undiagnosed mental illness that developed after childhood and this behaviour draws the poison/feeds his sickness.

>[email protected] people joining in, he actually knows this woman and is sick, why are you lot doing it?
>>
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>>580237065
Green text this shit nigga. You've got my attention
>>
>>580232584
Underrated post...
>>
why u let this thread die ?

We need more picture of her
>>
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>this thread
>>
>>580237139
Because we're on fucking /b/ dipshit. Why AREN'T you joining in?
>>
>>580237086
fkn saved holy shit
>>
>>580237408

Not my cup of tea.

Laughing at people joining in is more my thing.
>>
GUYS THIS DUDE IS A PREDATOR.
HE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING WITH HIS
COWORKERS DAUGHTER.

WHEN HE POSTED BEFORE, HE USED
THE DAUGHTER. HE ALSO SAID
HE LOVES THAT HIS COWORKER TRUSTS
HIM AND HE GAVE THE DAUGHTER A GIFT.

I THINK IT WAS SOME MEGABLOCKS OR SOME SHIT. BUT THIS DUDE IS PREYING ON THE DAUGHTER. HE POSTED "ALTARS" WITH THE DAUGHTER ALONE BEFORE.
>>
>>580237086
FUck that little fucking slut I want to fuck her ass as she's shitting and then fuck her pussy while she'S pissing just ot disrespect her as much as possible because she seems like she's the queen of everything and has everything handed to her on a golden plate
>>
>>580237647
Ok...
What's your point.
>>
>>580237647
SUMONE CALL DA PO PO!!
>>
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this tread must not die
>>
>>580231357
This is the greatest
>>
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>>580237728
>>
>>580237647
stfu I want to fap to the co worker, she's hot
>>
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>>580237647
nobody cares
keep em coming OP
bumping with redhead
>>
>>580237591
You should not be on /b/
>>
>>580233023
I'm fucking losing it in this thread holy shit, this has taken a turn
>>
>>580234382
I believe it's extremely illegal to fap in a semi public place even. There are people who have to go around telling all their neighbors they're a sex offender because they got caught by a cop peeing in a Bush off of a trail. Fucking murica
>>
>>580237647

I don't think he will take it any further than he does now to be honest.

I think he does this shit to stop himself doing something stupid but it could go either way to be honest.

It would be funny if she found out who he really was and what he did, it would devastate him (and her) but you never know it could stop a train wreck as well.
>>
>>580238031

Yeah I know.
>>
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>>
>>580236189
>>580237053
That sounds like some H.P Lovecraft shit
>>
>>580238458
>>580233429
As I said Lovecraft shit
>>
out of all the threads iv'e seen on fagchan, this one disturbs me the most
>>
>>580230084
>>580230159
>>580230253
OP, you are a goddamn hero and I salute you.
>>
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Is no one making a legendary thread pic for preservation?
>>
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Someone screencap and archive, for all that is good.
>>
where do you guys think OP is located? Looks kinda like Arkansas maybe?
>>
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>>580237007
Join me then!
>>580237086
email me??? ;)
>>580237350
Will you cum on her???

Sorry I was gone for a bit. Meeting in her office. Couldn't hide my hard cock...
>>
>>580239181

OP you have a tiny dick, no wonder she doesn't want to fuck you
>>
>>580239181
aim for the girl on the left
>>
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>>580239181
o god, what have you done?
>>
>>580230487
I would actually join in.
>>
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>>580238852
>>580238753
Thanks. Both mean the world to me!
>>
>>580235460
>>580235567
So we use the cum alter to evolve into higher powers.
>>
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>>580239531
Would love to have you...
Printer? Camera?
>>
>>580238939
That it is.
>>
[email protected]
>>
>>580239739
That's the problem, no printer, no woods or any kind.
>>
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>>580239675
Yes.
>>580239404
Email me man. I don't wanna 404 this thread...
>>
>>580235814
>>580235478
>>580235158
>>580234923

You can't do this man. Thems bitches are going to steal yo power. That's how it works dawg.
Thread posts: 243
Thread images: 107




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