I think last thread 404d. 0 decides.

i'll do it if you let me take photos so i can remember what youve done for me

>>578971064
I'm calling bullshit on this, but in any case:

"Nah, I'm just kidding you dumb bitch. Mom's fine, I'm just really fucking high right now"

can you stop and buy a clown suit first, im dead serious im into that

>>578971064
no i meant, you doing it to me

>>578971064
i'm the holy sage who was going to get you laid

Roll: okay, see you soon babe

If I can make you happy, then I'll be happy babe ;)

>>578971064
I promise, babe

A man walks into a diner, looking for breakfast. A server comes up to take his order, and asks what he wants.

"I'll have a coffee and a donut," says the man.

The server says "Sorry, our coffee grounds are all gone. We'll have some by tomorrow but we aren't serving any today."

The man frowns and thinks on this a moment, looking at his menu for a moment. Making up his mind, he says "Alright then, I guess I'll have a coffee and some pancakes."

The server furrows his brow in confusion and repeats, "Sir, we aren't serving coffee today."

The man glances at his menu again. "Well then, how about a coffee and a plate of ham and eggs?"

The server, angered but still civil, says loudly and slowly "There, is, NO, COFFEE, today. Come back TOMORROW if you want COFFEE."

At this point the man looks slightly rankled. "Hrmph. Fine then. Get me a coffee and some French toast."

At this point, the server explodes. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT! THERE IS NO COFFEE! NO FUCKING GROUNDS, NO FUCKING COFFEE! NONE, ZIP! ORDER SOMETHING WE ACTUALLY HAVE OR GET OUT!"

The man is taken aback at the outburst. "Alright, man, alright! Calm yourself." He takes a minute to look carefully through the menu while the server calms down. "Looking up, he says in a decisive tone, "You know what? I think I'll just have a coffee."

>>578971064
I meant u do anal on me

>>578971235
Rolling for this.

>>578971182

reroll, and obviously you must post the photos later

>>578971064
OP you getter fucking take pictures I swear.

>>578971064
Thanks i really needed this...i have loved you since i saw your eyes but i thought you were too good for me.

there aint nothing better than licking a raw asshole

oh yes i loved that

tell me more about how we did it im gettin hard

oh wait, my mom isn't dead...she's been stuffed up your asshole this whole time. get lost you degenerate whore.

>>578971340
my nigger

>>578971340
fuck it's all ruined

winner

can you get a strap on and peg me, no matter how many times i say not to (;

I'm going to video tape it

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>>578971340
you fuck

>>578971340
KEK

>>578971340
Well, well, well.

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>>578971340
As always posting get when reply

>>578971340
YESSSS

>>578971340
winrar

>>578971340
kek

tho bitch is driving and texting? bitch is gonna die or bitch isnt real

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>>578971064
I'll do whatever you want, just hurry...

>>578971340
Winrar lmao
You should write jk and then delere so we don't see js

>>578971340
YOu bastard

>>578971340
oh mY GOD LOL

I will do that if you promise to stick your finger in my ass too

>>578971520
dont forget this win OP

>>578971064
only if you also lick my asshole

>both of them r laughin bout this thread

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4 decide

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>>578971064

I'm really sorry Alicia when I get nervous I start to joke around and was only kidding but well I have been keeping this in for a few months and well I can't take it anymore. Maddie ever since was shared that passionate moment of making love I felt something I really did it was the most amazing night that I will ever have for the rest of my life. I was just scared afterwards of what you might say and do if I told you right then and there. Your love making was magical you have turned me into a brand new guy I have all these feelings and well I always wanted to tell you I love you Alicia I really do I want to hold you and protect you your one of the best things that has ever happened to me you make me laugh and smile and feel all these feelings I have been wanting to say this but I love you Maddie I love you with a passion and wanted to ask will you be my girlfriend? I want to share these magical moments. Sorry for being so upfront but will you go out with me this Friday and give it a shot? I really do feel like we have something special a bond of sorts when I get nervous I joke around on text. I'm so damn happy I could be your 1st I now carry that with a smile and respect because I really do care and love you I know we can make it work but will you go out with my this weekend? again sorry for being so upfront but I have been holding this in since that night I took your flower. I love you Maddie thank you for always making me laugh and smile and love life again you mean the world to me.

>>578971332
Roll

>>578971827
Nah, just ram whatever you can find up there. It'll be fine.

>>578971827
God damn right I do bitch

I have cabbage and elastic, I want you to peg me so hard

>>578971827
You don't have a dick?

My mom left me a rolling pin, we can try that

Alright someone has to call this..... These threads have turned into bullshit. OP is a trolling fag

>>578971827

taking laxatives right now baby lets get it on

>>578971827

just use your fist

>>578971827
http://boards.4chan org/b/thread/578971064#op

>>578971827
i could use my moms old one

>>578971827
Just fist it

No babe, use your finger or bring your own

I have bananas

>>578971827
What the fuck op you could be getting laid!

That being said say "I just want your tounge deep inside me too baby ;)"

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>>578971827
Confirmed fake. The ruse cruise is over.

Thank you so much, OP! I had a shit ton of fun!

>>578971827
yeah my sister left hers here yesterday

>>578971827
we should have a threesome with my mom's corpse

>>578971975

7/10

You thought it through enough to plan.

>>578971827
ah this is fake as fuck

Roll: Nah baby, i have a baseball bat though. it'll fit, i've used it before

>>578972035
I second this. Fake as fuck.

>>578971827
We'll find something, just needs to be bigger than the coke bottles I'm used to.

>>578971827

no but you can fist me

4get

>>578971827
No i dont but who cares... all i want is you

>>578971827
got a cuke in the freezer, should do the trick

>>578972085
rollin

No, but I have a cucumber... We'll just lube it up!

>>578972094
perfect

>>578972008
reroll

>>578971827
ohh i got a call from work somebody shit in the oven need to clean that, sorry!

>>578972094
OP your mom should die more often

>>578971827
Confirmed for fake. Fuck you op.

>>578972102
Roll

>>578971827
No, use your fingers

>>578972094
winrar

>>578972094
Oh oh

That's really yuck babe, can you like never talk to me again? Fucking psycho

>>578972008
rerollllll

i love it when they use their nose to prod my asshole

>>578971235
rolling for this

>>578972201
OP idk what your motivation is here but most of us don't believe you... you gotta quit when you're up man. try harder. 3/10

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>>578971827
>>578971827
Fake and gay.

spidey time

>>578972087
this

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Quick Man Hurry! Call Her Back And Ask For BattleToads

>>578972094
my goodness

>>578972663
Kek

>>578972503
Reroll for this

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>>578972094
Peace out mother fuckers.

>>578971340
Best winrar I've ever seen

epic bread. gnite /b

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>>578972840

>>578972840
You will deliver right?

>>578972840
>>578972840
Pics or it didn't happen

>>578972840
why does this feel kinda fake

>>578972840
All lies, but I had a good time anyway

so.... fake?

OP confirmed troll

Didn't she ask for OP's address a few messages back? How the fuck did she know where he lived?

So fake, still had fun

>>578973078
Because it is.

>>578972840

Post pics when you're done nigga.

But we all know its fake anyway once she cam running for you

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Been here since first thread p sure is legit but I've been wrong before like twice so there's a chance.

>>578973254
He claimed to have deleted it

>>578973254
It implied when Alice said 'like last time' or something familiar

Can we get a response when she finds out the mom n shit was some shit from anon?

Never been slapped so hard in my life.

Got a phone call from my mom a few minutes after she came in.

Fuck.

>>578973906
Fucking WHAT?

>>578973906
nigger you're so full of shit

I'm calling bullshit all over with from a mile away

>>578973906
OMG :(

>>578973906
bullshit

enough theatrics already

>>578973906
This is fake. If it isn't, then it's epic. But I'm going for fake.

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>>578973871
>>578973906
Well, OP delivered across all these fucking threads.

Call bullshit all you want
Anon that pulled the dead mom shit almost got me laid.
Almost.
Fucking done.

>>578973906
What she waited till she got outside your house and then tried phoning your mom? K faggot. Quit while you're ahead next time.

>>578973906

Take a photo or still bullshit, nobody drives just for a slap

>>578974432
I SERIOUSLY want this not to be fake. But I REALLY doubt it. Me wanting something does not make it so.

>>578974580
Photo of slap sounds like a good idea

>>578973906
>>578974432
>Never been slapped so hard in my life.
Pics of the slap mark as proof

No you jacktwats
>She came in the door
>My phone was on the table
>my phone starts ringing
>mom calling to remind me my dad has surgery in the am

>>578974910
Just stfu or give proof faggot.

>>578974580
his mum walked in. he said his mum was dead before. she didnt drive just for the slap

>>578974910
Come on OP, you had a good run. No need to lie more now.

>>578974910
>jacktwats
I do like that insult.

>>578974432
Wait so your mom called you when she came in or she called your mom and drove to slap you?

Also please prove this is real or my dreams are crushed

>>578975029

yeah figured that out right after posting, should probably hold my tongue so to speak

is this real life?

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I called it. OP is a trolling fag

Can you niggers even read? My mom called, she didn't walk in. Alicia walked in and a few fake teary-eyed minutes later my mom called.

>>578975220
is this just fantasy?

>>578974910
then you say
>oops, my mom wasn't the one who died, my dad was. My bad, fucking autocorrect bull shit.
>he got hit by a truck and everyone thought he died, but doctors saved him apparantly

>>578975302
>called

And yes let me take a picture 10 minutes later for proof.

Shit ain't gonna show.

>>578975502
Not that hard of a slap then.

Top win?

>>578975502
atleast let us see what the bitch looks like.

>>578975502
you're a fucking idiot. post screencap of your moms call at least, better be dated to more than 10 mins ago

Well I'll just delude myself to thinking that this was the closest /b/tards got to getting someone laid with le rolls.

>>578975502
If this is real you owe it to 4chin to prove so. If not 10/10 mad props kept it goin very entertained

>>578975502
pic of the call log you faggot

>>578975757

this

>>578975757
Seconded.

>>578975502
Op is a fag

Bamp hang on phone being dicktard

>>578976495
hurry up

>>578976495

hurry up pls

Lol what a fag

Keeping thread alive for this shit.

>>578976495
>Bamp hang on let me photoshop

>>578976495
>phones goes 3 full threads without a hitch
>moment of truth comes, "phone being dicktard"

how dumb do you think we are

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It was good while it lasted OP. Give it up now

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Kept me entertained, 9/10

>>578976495
This was an awesome thread. 9.5/10.

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Fuck you all

>>578978194
10/10

>>578978194
Where was the call to her? Eh?

>>578978383
I didn't call her you jack ass

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>>578978194

>>578978194
damn. well i'm like 75% buying it now

can't believe my back to back gets in that last thread would have got you laid had it not been for a highly inconvenient phone call from your mom

>>578978531
Alright...I suppose it doesn't really matter if you did or not. I don't know and probably never will.

The important thing is, that fake or not, this thread was fucking great.

You should text her and say "does this mean no sex?"

>>578979083
this

Post pics of mom and we'll buy this shit story

>>578978883
Let us not forget it was my taco bell line that got the ball rolling

>>578979083
THIS. OP MUST DO THIS.

>>578979083
DO IT OP

>>578979083

doooo eeeett

>>578979270
that was quite an epic line as well

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>>578979083

>>578980001
OP is love

Yaaaaaas OP delivers again!

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>>578979270
Her response to the taco bell thing fucked me up so bad I was so confused.

Also I think this is the end.

Seems pretty upset.
>doche bad

>>578979997
OP needs to save all chat logs and put them together in one giant collage of poosy rekage

>>578980343
2nded

>>578980291
Should have said "*they're"

>>578980291
Someday i will tell my grandchildren about this thread

Putting screen caps onto my comp right now to put it all together.

hey op, she was pretty willing to come over. you might try getting at that again in a few weeks after this shit blows over a little bit

just tell her you were desperate for her, you would have done anything just to get at that one more time. desperation works if you've already fucked her, in my experience

rip

>>578980291
pic of the girl pretty plz?

>>578980856
Yes. I will do so as well. OP must save these screen caps (and if possible the threads) to show the future generations a better time.

I think I'm seriously in love with you.

>>578981284
Tru she seems like a dumb thot so she'd probably fall right back into it. Might even find it flattering you "desperate for her"

>>578980897
bump do it faggot archiving. memorable thread

>>578981284
>desperation works if you've already fucked her, in my experience
>in my experience

I don't think that is something to be in your mentally at all

>>578981897
>I don't think that is something to be in your mentally at all
what could this sentence possibly mean

>>578982095
Kek

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OP here.

Enjoy this you fuckers.

>>578982484
The most important thing about this thread is what phone is that?

>>578982634
Samsung Galaxy S3 running CM 11 unofficial
I use EvolveSMS as my texting app.

Quick bamp while attempting to archive