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It's real simple guys, dirty a dish, wash it when you're

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 310
Thread images: 53

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It's real simple guys, dirty a dish, wash it when you're done and put it on the dry rack. This is why we have so many ants, we're going to get cockroaches if we don't start following a rule we all agreed upon.
>>
i want a cat, lets get a cat
>>
>>578663867
Dude, that's what you said about the Ferret, and it's still dead behind the stove.
>>
>>578663725
Mommy, daddy tried to shower with me again.
>>
>>578663725
Can you stop being so loud when you get your ass demolished by your nigger boyfriend ? I can't sleep with this noise
>>
i'll put semen on everything you fuckers own
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>>578663725
Hey, why is the FBI knocking on the door? *hide the kids*
>>
>>578663725
Fuck you, kid. I refuse to do any dishes because I use paper plates. Get Jess to do the dishes. She's the one always using our shit.
>>
quit pissing on the seat you dirty fuck
>>
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SOME ONE CUMED ON THE FUCKING CERAL AGAIN.
>>
>>578664026
I'll take care of it, I think it's just anon's uncle again coming to buy weed.
>>
>>578663725
Sss... h-hey you guys... sss....h-how are y-you this m-morning... sss....
>>
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>>578663725
I will start following your dumb rule if you stop starting shit threads,so its another day with dirty dishes.
>>
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>>578664196
Didn't we buy that shit like an hour ago?
>>
>tfw too beta to call out roommates on their negligence
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>>578663992
fine whatever, but can you leave it off the door handles this time?
>>
NO FUCKING PONIES
>>
>>578664338
can i put shit on it instead?
>>
ALRIGHT! WHO WRINKLED MY RANDY TRAVIS POSTER, PISSED THE SEAT AND HID MY KEY!
>>
>>578664360
Leave anon out of it, sure, he's a little weird, but he at least doesn't bring his bronie pals here. I think they know we'd kill them though.
>>
>>578664360
can we just fucking drop this, god ever since you moved in you've been on my ass about my collection
>>
>>578664360
b...but that's my fetish
>>
>>578663725
Guyz i really think we should all start slinging meth, i tried some the day before yesterday and i drew several scientific charts and buried them in the yard. I think that if we put in enough money we can multiply our money 18 fold
>>
If I find another one of my shirts stained with cum I'm going to shove it down your goddamned throat.
>>
>>578663725
Sure roomie, I'm down, just paid my part of the rent and bought everyone breakfast. I'm leaving for work, my room is open if anyone needs to use anything, Xbox, computer, whatever, just put everything back where you found it. Later guys!
>>
>>578664501
ya'll have always been haters like that, one day i'll get you to watch the show! and you'll see!
>>
i thought we were supose to be autistic here.
>>
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>>578664456
>>
>>578663945
Speaking of dead things, someone fucking take out the garbage already.
Seriously, it smells like a morgue without refrigerators in here.
>>
>>578664528
Yeah, you have a sickness. Something is wrong with your brain. People don't collect worthless shit unless they're fucked up.
>>
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Can we all just get stoned and calm the fuck down and I got destiny
>>
i didn't mean for you to see that, anons. knock in the future pls.
>>
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Is anon back from the beer run yet??
>>
Somebody ate my last two pieces of cheese cake.
>>
>>578664737
Fuck sake who keeps leaving the fucking toilet seat up
>>
I've had it up to here with you matter of fact the whole house period. You guys ruin people lives, are fucking racist to the extreme, betas, fucking trap lovers, circlejerking, pedos and most of all assholes. I can't believe I spent 3 years on this board, just watching you faggot ass losers being pathetic, little maggots behind a keyboard typing edgy shit up. It's people like you that gives the internet a bad reputation and perspective. Why don't you all just go die, fucking end your life you faggot ass loser. You guys are pretentious fucks and neckbeard faggots. You guys aren't capable of producing an child that wouldn't be capable of functioning in society with others, due to the fact that it has retards and Down syndrome man babies as fathers. You guys are the cancer of life and should be slaughtered to the full extinct of existence. You ruining people lives, careers and health and causing great deal amount of stress and trauma. I hope you all kill yourselves. DIE
>>
my id is so kewl i dont even have to wash the dishes anymore
>>
>>578664737
thats because >>578664337
keeps dumping his fucking piss bottles in there instead of the toilet, we need to get him out of the house more
>>
>>578664859
actually i had sex with them, ive been lonely since tina left
>>
>>578664823
dude do you ever stop?
>>
>>578664859
Don't look at me, you know I'd be farting all day
>>
>>578664785
Fuck you anon. No weed in the house. You know I'm allergic
>>
Hey guys.
I just got back from court and I won.
You know how I told you faggots 2 months ago about the uncle who molested me as a kid?
Well it turns out I am getting $500,000.
If we only had some dice....
>>
Touch my bong again and I'll jam it up your ass. I swear to God you stupid fucks.
>>
You know that >>578664674 faggot? I don't like him, always playing nice 'n' shit.
I think he's hiding something from us.
>>
>>578663725


HEY GUIZE LOOK AT THIS ELEPHANT I JUST BOUGHT!
>>
>>578664892
Other than that, how was your day anon?
>>
>>578664892
now that you're done someone still needs to take out this rancid trash
>>
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>>578664946
>>
Yo, I think somebody's dog got into my edibles.
>>
>>578664859
Dude, it was in there for a month. There wasn't even a fucking name on it.
>>
>stays in room all day everyday and only come out when im pissed drunk or if its 4am and you gus are in your room
*door closes*
>>
YOU WANNA STICK ME WITH THAT FORK?
>>
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when did we get a wood burning oven
niggas I think we got us some pizza tonight
>>
>>578665062
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IT INSIDE?
>>
i have aids, and I regularly put my blood in the potato salad
>>
>>578665039
I bet he has a 6 year old in his closet.
Why won't he share with us?
>>
>>578665062
shit
>>
>>578665212
HOLD ON FUCKING ID
>top keks
>>
>>578665201
its pretty flexible while its dead, i kinda just rammed it through and it bent and contoured the fit the shape of the hallways untill i got it intop our livingroom
>>
>>578665262
Its my son
>>
>>578664763
look man, i just want to unwind with my technicolor plushies at the end of a long day working minimum wage at starbucks, i pay my share of the rent so can you just fuck off i keep to myself
>>
Can we throw another party today?
>>
>>578665330
Why won't you share your son with us?
>>
>>578665039
I'm sure he's hiding it in his xbox, lets break it open
>>
>>578665329
and being the asshole you are you already detusked it, what the fuck are we suppose to do now!? its bleeding on the carpet
>>
FUCK!!! I told you not to have a gay bugchasing party here you sick fucks, all of you out now!!!!! I can't believe i have to clean this shit up...
>>
>>578665436
>grabs crowbar and walks with anon to the room with the xbox.
Let's wreck this room
>>
Let me get this straight: You have the energy and will to open the cabinet door, grab the cupcake, take it out of it's wrapper, and eat it. But you can't seem to muster up the energy to place the fucking wrapper in the fucking trash can that is fucking 3 feet from the fucking counter you left it on.
>>
>>578664949
you're the one farting on everyone's pillow and giving the pink eye
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>>578665079
>>
Can we get new furniture post pics for ideas
>>
Who ate my fucking Oreos?
>>
>>578664892
Well fine, go back to sucking dicks to find a house every night
>>
>>578665423
I Guess it never occured to me... He was the only won who asked. Fuck it, have fun fucking my son everyone, ill just leave him in the living room next to painting Black Beard the pirate
>>
>>578664647
That might work, just remember the golden rule... Don't get high on your own supply.
>>
Guys, tomorrow around 9:00am my gay friend will come visit me, could you please leave the house for a bit while he's here?
i wanna fuck him and he's a bit shy.
kthxbye
>>
anyone wanna play some mtg in my room?
>>
>>578665548
GET HIM WITH THE AIDS NEEDLE!
>>
>>578665657
I threw them out man, they had bugs and shit in them. Don't just leave them out and open.
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>>578665750
you can use my bedroom
see >>578664528
>>
Let's play "hide the poop" friends :D
>>
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>>578665565
Now where did that faggot put his xbox?
>>
Who downloaded the Trap Porn to my PC? You guys know i dont like it
>>
>>578665852
man, we've had enough of your shit get the fuck out
>>
>>578665824
good enough but what if he shits?
>>
>>578665764

Will you put on your wizzard robe and hat?
>>
>>578665860
STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE XBOX MAN
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>>578665852
Jimmy we kicked you the fuck out! Get your "Hide the poop" shit out of here, it wont work again
>>
>>578665852
Hey bro...can you help me move something outside?
>>
WHO THE FUCK ATE MY FUCKING CHEESECAKE! I WORK FOR 12 FUCKING HOURS AND HAVE TO COME HOME TO YOU FUCKING PIGS? THAT'S IT. I'M DONE. I'M SO DONE. *pours gasoline all over the carpet*
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dinner ready fags I got some paper plates op cant clean the dishes
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>>578665852
Dude it took me 6 weeks to find it under the refrigerator.
The foods still smells funny.
>>
Posting in le epic bread xD
>>
>>578665930
sorry, thought it was on the guest user
>>
Guys, what the fuck! Who fucked up my film collection!? You know that's the only thing I need in this world! WHY IS THERE SEMEN ON EVERYTHING
>>
>>578665860
Inside the mattress
>grabs beta sword and slice the mattress open
>finds dead hooker
Oh well... DIBS!
>>
>>578665954
dude I never take the shit off
10/10 comfort level
>>
>>578665981


K-O's this mother clean out before he can do any shit,

take his lighter from his hand and spark up my doob, 420 blazin!
>>
>>578665981

nigga i fucked yo cheesecake. now i got cheesecock. you want sum?
>>
Does anyone else hear a baby crying?
>>
Hey guys we're out of chocolate milk
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>>578665996
fucking starbuck grounds and mcdonalds leftovers again!
>>
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>>578665964
>breaks open xbox with crowbar
What now faggot?
>>
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could you guys please stop using my butt plug as a chew bone?
>>
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Man, is Jimmy ever going to come out of his room? He hasn't even paid rent yet. He has literally been playing World of Warcraft for 3 months straight. I told you that giving him the room with it's own bathroom and mini fridge was a bad idea.
>>
>>578666180
What the fuck man, I just bought that, you know you're going to replace that right.
>>
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I'm here to fill the African American Quota

>Bemad
>>
>>578666180
You son of a bitch... You know how the autistic attic kid gets without his chocolate milk
>>
>>578666213

aww sheit, i thought you meant you were going after the xbox one, take his shitty 360!

we cool homie, wana smoke on this blunt?
>>
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>>578666180
it was covered in semen anyway
>>
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>>578666180
You wanna play that game, Bruce? OK...
>>
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Pizza for everyone
>>
>>578665981
bruh
>>
>>578666313

This nigger stole my Oreos. I'm going to put velcro inside all of his hats.
>>
>>578666313
finally, the fucking gardener is here guys!
>>
Um, guis. Cat is kill again.
>>
>>578666391
told you we had that pizza oven
>>
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>>578666107
I'll help you cover our tracks.
>lights bed on fire
>>
>>578666524
What the fuck did you do???
>>
>>578666510
Well at least we have something to eat for tonight.
>>
>>578666391
You know David only likes cheese pizza. He's gonna flip when he gets home
>>
GUYS DON'T PANIC BUT I THINK THE HOUSE MIGHT EXPLODE
>>
>>578666339
Sure.
If we can share a home we can share some weed.

Oh btw.....
Your bed is on fire.>>578666525
>>
I'm just gonna sit here on the couch and quietly flick the bean while I nod out from the five 30s I just shoved up my ass. There's narcan in my bag, but don't use it unless I stop breathing ok?
>>
>>578666606

Shall i whip up some "Shish-Cat-bobs?"

Bah dum tish.
>>
>>578666609
I don´t fucking care about David he will eat what everyone else´s eating
>>
>>578666525
No one will ever know
>"You opened my bed!"
>implying there was a bed
>implying i was there
Perfect crime
>>
>>578666159

No you didn't NO YOU DID NOT JUST FUCKING DO THAT! YOU'RE DEAD! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU *drops lighter* Burrrrn BITCH
>>
>>578666159
ARE YOU THE FUCKER THAT FUCKED MY GOD DAMN LEFTOVER OLIVE GARDEN?! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I ONLY HAVE 20 FUCKING DOLLARS LEFT THIS MONTH AND I WAS GOING TO FUCKING EAT THAT TONIGHT. GOD DAMMIT.
>>
lets smoke some weed
>>
Man, anyone got some weed? I'll get you back this time, I swear. It won't be like the past 38 times, I will chip in this time. You know I'm good for it. As soon as payday comes around. I still need to find a job.
>>
"Is it your turn to buy toilet paper" - Jew roomate

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.
>>
So, uh...listen, buddy. It's fine if you're gonna jerk off in the bathroom, but if you're not gonna turn the light on, you really need to lock the door.
>>
>>578666861
I did but the goldfish ate it all last night when I was high.
>>
>>578666763
David is always nagging about the food but he never contributes or cooks for himself so fuck him.
Could you use the cat for extra meat?
Haven't had decent meat since James raped the butcher in my bed.
I am still not allowed in.
>>
>>578666687


AWW SHEIT,

*THROWS BLUNT INTO AIR*

*blunt lands on gasoline soaked carpet in livingroom and sets living room ablaze*

AWW SHEIT


EVERYONE EVACUATE
>>
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>>578666919
>>
>>578666919

I wasn't jerking off..

I was fucking the dark.

>tfw no gf
>>
>>578664221
is that you Snake? how's that job coming along?
>>
Who the fuck spunked in my MDMA?
>>
FUCK YOU
>>
>>578666782
Guys did we pay the water bill?
Cause our living room is on fire!
>>
>>578666974
>is dipping too hard to react
>flicks the bean harder but still can't cum
>fucking opiates.
>>
>>578665093
Best rooomate ever.
>>
>>578666853
*takes weed and throws it in the fire I created on the carpet* Get your fucking stoner ass out of here!
>>
GOD DAMMIT QUIT SETTING SHIT ON FIRE. THIS IS WHY WE DON'T HAVE NICE SHIT. WE DON'T EVEN HAVE SHIT. WE SIT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR, WE SHIT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR, AND WE PILE OUR SHIT INTO LITTLE SHIT PILLOWS SO WE CAN SLEEP ON THE FUCKING FLOOR BECAUSE YOU FUCKERS KEEP BURNING EVERYTHING.
>>
>>578666802

Fucking alfredo sauce

rape face
>>
hey guys, mind if i make some shrooms, dmt and mescaline in my room?

also, what are the rules for bringing girls back?
>>
I muh just sit in my room with my wizard hat and robe wait for shit storm to pass over
>>
>>578667172
DSUDE WERE ON FIRE, HELP PUT IT OUT
>>
>>578667172
Fuck you David!
You never pay for dinner and always nag about what we eat but now we can't even set fire to some stuff?
>>
>>578667172

HERE I AM MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS TRYING TO MAKE CAT SHISH KABABS WHILST FUCKING THE DARKNESS IN THE BATHROOM WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE PLACE IS ON FIRE.
IM PRETTY SURE WE ARE NOT GETTING OUR DEPOSIT BACK NOW YOU CUM GUZZLING FART KNOCKERS!
>>
>>578667181
you can take whatever you want but only if you share
>>578666973
od course , good idea alway hated that fucking cat
>>
>>578666750
I'm probably going to rape you as soon as you pass out.
>>
>>578667392
WE HAVE FUCKING PIZZA WHY ARE YOU COOKING CAT
>>
>>578667392
>>578667398
GUYS GUYS!!!
We can roast the cat on the fire!
We are having dinner with meat tonight!!!
>>
>>578667439

can i hit that with you bro,?

its gettin pretty hot though, we should carry her into the shed first
>>
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Well guys, friendzoned again. I knew I should have asked her out 3 years ago instead of last night. I thought after all those expensive birthday and christmas gifts I bought her every year, all the meals I paid for, the bouquet of friendship roses, and fixed her car she'd really see what a nice guy I was. I'm going to go kill myself.

I give up guys, what am I doing wrong?
>>
>>578667489

IT WAS JUST LYING THERE BETWEEN THE SHIT PILLOWS AND DISCARDED SPAGHETTI LEFT OVER FROM /v/ VISITING.

Waste not want not...
>>
Guys we're low on Kraft Dinner, who's turn is it to go? Remember I only eat the 3-cheese one.


Also, all the cutlery is dirty. While you're out, steal some plastic forks from Wendy's.
>>
>>578667439
That's cool man, everything's cool.
>zzZZzzZzz
>>
>>578667360

IM ALWAYS THE ONE PICKING UP THE GODDAMN BILL WHEN YOU FUCKERS JUST GET UP AND WALTZ THE FUCK ON OUT TO GO BUM FOR FUCKING PENNIES WHILE YOU WATCH THE HOOKERS PICK UP THEIR KIDS ON THE STREET CORNER BECAUSE THEYRE EVEN MORE POOR THAN US SO THEY HAVE TO WHORE OUT THEIR WHOLE FAMILY DAY AND FUCKING NIGHT. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

>>578667342

I DONT KNOW CPR AND MY FIRE SUIT THAT I WORE TO THAT HALLOWEEN PARTY AT CINDYS IS STILL IN THE FUCKING HOUSE, ON FUCKING FIRE. THE FIRE SUIT IS ON FUCKING FIRE.
>>
>>578667489
STOP TELLING US HOW TO LIVE OUR LIVES!
>carpet and bed are still on fire and nobody is trying to put it out or called the fire department.
>>
>>578667596
Everything, what are you ? a nigger?
also...some asshole did something to the cat...cat is kill guize..
>>
>>578667181
For the girls you share as well
>>
>>578666213
>>
>goes to the kitchen and tries to light a cigarette off the toaster.
>nods out standing up
>>
>>578667560
Finally ! the cat is usefull for something
>>
>>578667794

WE ARE AWARE THE CAT IS KILL, WERE COOKING IT NOW.

>>578667701

JUST PISS ON IT FOR FUCK SAKE, THE CAT IS KILL SO NOW SHE WONT HISS AT PENIS.
>>
>>578667693
David is being a huge faggot again guys.
Maybe we should throw him out.
Or let him wear his burning fire suit.
>>
>>578663725
Guuuys.. I accidentally upperdeckered again.
>>
Fuck it my rooms nice and not covered in SHIT CUM AND FIRE FUCK IT
>fixes wizard robe and hat
>slams door
no inbreeds aloud
>>
That bastard has used all my himalayan pink salt again, I'm gona scratch my arse with his tooth brush.
>>
>>578667961
WHY????
OH WHY????
>>
>>578667596
No such thing as the friendzone you fat fucking cunt, why don't you just hang yourself, I put a noose up in your room
>>
HEY GUIZE, REMEMBER MY ELEPHANT? WELL DINNERS READY HE GOT TOASTED NICELY IN THE BLAZE

it taste great skins tough though might wanna leave that


SOMEONE USE THIS MACHETE TO SLICE SOME MEAT
>>
>>578667981
WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SWALLOWED BECAUSE ALL YOU DO AROUND THE HOUSE IS SHIT SLEEP AND EAT ALL THE FOOD WE DONT HAVE. GET A FUCKING JOB JORDAN.
>>
oh my god ! have anyone seen my dick ? can´t remember where I´ve put it last time
>>
>>578667961
I can't piss with you guys watching!
I'll just rub on out and see what happens to the fire!
>>
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WOULD YOU GUYS STFU IM TRYING TO WATCH THE WHEEL
>>
>>578667849

FUCK NO, YOU WASH YOUR HANDS YOU FILTHY NIGGER
>>
>>578667961
She?
It's a she?
DAVID DID YOU FUCK LITTLE TIM'S CAT?
>>
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Yes, it is very fun here at our groovey meme house, I like it very much, it is indeed fun her with all the rolfls and lmaos. Can anyone show me where we hide all our child porn and/or drugs, I would be very intrested in keking over some of that, by brother from another mothers.
>>
can you fuckers not ash and put your cigarettes out in every goddamn mother fucking open container and cup in the house?

goddamn i literally just poured that drink and went to the bathroom and one of you cunts dumped your cigarette in it, IT'S A GLASS FOR FUCKS SAKE at least use one of the empty cans fuck
>>
>>578668170
Sir. Sir. The house. Is. On. Fucking. Fire. Now either piss, shit, or vomit and help us put the shit out, it's fucking hot.
>>
>>578668127

dude, how many timers? that steve, im jordan fuck sake
>>
>>578668090
Brony fag must have some sort of shitty betanna around
>>
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>>578668170
>pokes head out of the door
my tv bigger might want in here
unless you want cat for dinner
I got pizza
>>
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>>578665062
You're cleaning that up.
>>
>>578663725
dude there are 15 black bitches on the door
>get the door
>>
>>578668127
FUCK YOU DAVID!
AT LEAST I CAN HIT IT OFF WITH STEVE WHILE YOU KEEP WATCHING THOSE HOOKERS.
AND THE BURNING CARPET IS USEFUL FOR COOKING THE CAT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.
>>
>>578666215
I think he's dead man, I could smell something rotten coming out of his room last night when I was going to empty my piss botles
>>
>>578668357
Well I can't fucking remember every fucknuggets name around here. Maybe we should get nametags.
>>
>>578668286
try the basement
>>
>>578668147
>have anyone seen my dick?

NIGGER! WE'RE BEING ROBBED!
>>
>walks in with the garden hose and begins to spray the various fires and shit piles

LISTEN UP YOU RAGING FAGGOTS! IF I SEE ONE MORE FUCKING SCORCH ON THE CARPET OR SHIT STAIN IN THE HALLWAY, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, I'M GONNA TIE EVERY FUCKER IN THIS JOINT DOWN AND FUCK THEIR ASSES INTO PROLAPSE!! DO I MAKE MYSELF FUCKING CLEAR?!
>>
>>578668286
Sure sir, here they're in the basement.
>locks him up safely
Guys we have a new sex slave 10$ per half hour
>>
>slumps down the counter glassy eyes, lays on the kitchen floor
>looks up at counter
Hey, guys, the toaster has fire coming from it and it smells like Camel Lights.
>>
>>578668029
*busts up in your room* You ate my pizza last week, you Fuck! *proceeds to pour gasoline while fire is raging behind me*
>>
>>578667562
Fo sho roomie, afterwards, let's blaze and play Xbox.
>>
>>578668286
Steve your uncle is asking questions again!
>>
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Guys guys GUYS!! Check out this sweet picture I got. I'm going to hang it above the couch. Dude, bitches love guys that can appreciate good art.
>>
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>>578668639
I was in my room playing mtg fuck off m8 the shit heads out side are the uncultured ones
>>
>>578668492
WELL I DONT GIVE A FUCK. BECAUSE THE FIRE IS MAKING THE SHIT SMELL REALLY BAD AND I HAD TO PILE SOME SHIT UP IN MY HAND AND SHOVE IT UP MY NOSE BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO FUCKING DIE. I KNOW ITS ALWAYS FUCKING SMOKEY IN HERE BUT FUCK THIS IS JUST TOO FUCKING MUCH. WHY DONT YOU COOK ONE OF THOSE DEAD HOOKERS THAT HAVE BEEN SITTING IN YOUR ROOM FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS THAT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO THROW OUT HUH? WHY DONT YOU TRY THINKING OF SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE?
>>
>>578668670
>slaps you
DON'T YOU KNOW THE FUCKING PRICE OF GASOLINE?
>>
>>578668670
I HAVE RUNNING WATER
>wizards kicks out of room
>cleans
fucking roomates man
>>
>>578668686


kk sounds good a i got a stash noone will find, looks like fbi's rolling up in this join look at this faggots discuise

>>578668286


grab her legs lets go, iv got her by the neck,
>>
>pissing on fire
>>
I know you don't like leaving your room so I brought up this letter for you to sign. We are so bummed about the landlord adding on £3 a month
>>
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DAVID HAS LIKE 50 OF THESE IN HIS ROOM EVERYOBE GRAB ONE AND SQUIRT IT ON THE FIRE.
>>
>>578668893
No no no no
The hookers are for compost
>>
For gods sake please don't leave your cumsocks in the middle of the god damn kitchen. Its fucking gross guys
>>
>>578669040
ITS ALREADY OUT
>>
>>578667596
In case you haven't noticed, we're stuck scraping week-old cum-covered pizza toppings off the floor, in a house mainly smelling like sewage THAT FOR SOME REASON CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE JUST TWO MINUTES AGO
...Now, please be helpful and go tell >>578667560 to get rid of that fucking cat: we have enough rotting shit in here.
>>
>>578663725
>If it's yellow, leave it mellow.
>If it's brown, flush it down.
>>
>>578669040
THATS MY FUCKING LEMONADE BACK THE FUCK UP I WAS SAVING THOSE FOR WINTER. I WAS GOING TO MAKE SNOWCONES FOR ALL YOU FAGGOTS
>>
>>578668639
Is that a promise?

>>578668893
SURE BRING UP THE HOOKERS.
YOU KNOW WE STARTED DOING IT TOGETHER!
DOUBLETEAMING THEM AND THEN STRANGLING THEM AND SAVING THEIR CORPSES FOR A FUCKFEST BUT NOOOO YOU HAD TO GO ALL MORAL AND WOULDN'T PARTICIPATE ANYMORE.
YOU ARE A GODDAMM HYPOCRITE!
shitface looks sexy though
>>
So guize, i have a question.
when did you all started pissing in bottles of water?
because the room is getting full of them
>>
Guys, my sister is coming this weekend and I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't all ejaculate into her shoes again. That was really gross and embarrassing last time.
>>
>>578668478
Hell no, don't let those niggers in here.
>>
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>>578666485
I admit it, I lol'd
>>
>>578669028
3£ shit man... I get paid in Euros
>>
If you motherfuckers don't stop stealing my thongs I will wonderslap your fucking dicks off I swear to God.
>>
>>578669207
sorry i thought she liked it
>>
>uncontrollable scratching
>watches the toaster fire spread up the curtains
>>
>>578669175
Thanks for the complemint babe.

BUT THE FUCKING COPS CAME AROUND AND WERE ASKING QUESTIONS. DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS TO HIDE A DEAD BODY WHEN THERES NO FUCKING WALLS ON OUR HOUSE? NO BASEMENT? NO ATTIC? REALLY FUCKING HARD. AND I DONT LIKE THE FEEL OF MAGGOTS CRAWLING UP MY PISSER WHEN IM FUCKING COLD DEAD BITCH.
>>
>>578669207

Alright, bro. I'll just smell her feet while she's asleep and jack off.
>>
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>>578669207

Fat chance of that.
>>
>>578669262

conversions automatic :D
>>
>>578669298
how did you survive in the house as grill
>hope for nice house is their
>nice looking room
we have hope
>>
>>578669298
OK then, just post pictures of your dirty underwear and i'll stop stealing them
>>
>>578669207
Then she should keep them on so we can ejaculate on her.

The entire house smells like fire, ashes, burned cat, and boiling piss.
Do you guys think this will raise our rent?
>>
>>578669487
oh shit nigga I remember her. at least now shell be experienced for when she gets a boyfriend.
>>
>>578669462
fuck the whole house is on fire just burn the body
Also I really liked Jack why did you have to kill him
>>
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Hai guise the cable company is here to check the internets connection to make sure it's working ok.

Also all of our computers, USB drives, and other detachable media..for viruses.
>>
>>578669462
THE COPS COME AROUND ALL THE TIME.
WE ALWAYS LOCK THEM UP SO WE HAVE FRESH SEX SLAVES AND FOOD.
Can't we just put the past behind us and be buttbudies again?
>>
>>578669738
He had two dicks. TWO. DICKS. It was like a fucking Hydra down there. I tried to cut it off after he was dead and they just kept coming. He told me had an accident when he was younger that made all the girls want him but that's just fucking gross.
>>
>>578669632
Na man i think we just lowered the real estate value of the whole block. Soon enough we can actually have a garden, and use those hookers to good use
>>
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Ok..... could someone please explain this? Why was there no roomie meeting about this?
>>
>>578669885
Steve's uncle brought some friends.
Don't give away the fact that we hid him in our basement.
>>
>>578670047
That's where I hide my opiates. Don't worry, he's a drug mule.
>>
>>578670047
Well Jack, I brought in Diego because he has the tightest anus of anyone or anything ive ever seen, and after everyone had atry we all agreed. Guess you shouldnt smoke so much meth.
>>
>>578670047
Ok... Who voted democrat?
>>
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Hey guys like you all to meet heather.... Where did she go?
>>
>>578670032
GUYS we lowered the rent by burning stuff down.
>Pours gasoline on Steve's bed and lights it on fire.
Even lower rents!!!
>>
>>578670283
Try the basement. Its a bit crowded down there though
>>
>>578670283
Dude, that HEATHER, you know with the P-E-N-I-S.
>>
>>578670283
We don't talk about her anymore buddy. But she still feeds us every now and then...in more ways than one
>>
Right how many are we in this fucking house?
Me= max
>>
>>578663725
Guys, how about we chip in to buya van and some soundproofing material, maybe some chains... oh and I think we need to 'redecorate' the basement for some longterm 'guests'... sound good guys?
>>
>>578670403
>>578670405
>>578670409

You guys...
>>
>>578670283
you might wanna start looking for her in the basement....she's not the girl she used to be.
she's all over the place...if you know what i mean
>>
>>578670459
We live here with 81 sort of people.
>>
>>578670459
Are we counting the part time squatters and the guy in the basement? What about the dead hookers?
>>
Guys. I'm moving out. You can keep the couch *looks at it with the burnt fabric, dead animals, and about 10 Anons sitting on it* Yeah....sorry about the fire. You guys know how I get when you fuckers eat my shit *scratches head* I would love to stay but with the dead hookers, piss bottles, and the fact that me and her *points to thong chick* are the only chicks here. I mean, Tom tried to frisk his way into my room the other night. I keep finding semen in my panties. Yeah. So....bye!
>>
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>>578670283
Well hopefully not into the kitchen. Cant go for a snack if shes there.
>>
>>578670607
don´t forget my slaves
>>
>>578670604
Come on now, you know the black ones don't count as people.
>>
>>578670545
Just use Steve's uncle...
He is already locked in the basement.
>>
>>578670545

Check and see if Heather is down there, If she is tell her i want my turn.
>>
>>578670607
Dead hookers and slaves don't count, sure they take up space down there but where else are we supposed to hide them?
>>
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*knock knock knock*

Postman, I have a package here for a A. Non? I needs signature please.
>>
WHERE THE FUCK DID THE OTHER COME FROM??
And theyre in the fucking kitchen fucking shit up, and right after we got the fire under control. This shit ain't funny guys.
>>
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Guys, I think one of our sex slaves had a baby... What the hell are we gonna do with him?
>>
>>578670668
You were asking for it, also please leave dirty panties
>>
>>578670668
But you are pregnant with my baby.
You were sleeping and I was horny!
>>
>>578670668
You forgot about the opiate chick. She's passed out in the kitchen with the toaster setting the curtains on fire.
>>
>>578670896
you know where the basement is
>>
>>578670896
Looks like a pig, might be good for bacon.
>>
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>>578670793
Here you go
>>
>>578663725
whichever wanker blocked the toilet has to clean it up within the next 30 seconds or he's getting his head flushed
>>
>>57867060>>578670604
>>578670607
Na just the long term people
Dungeon would be too complicated we should have a log book
Entry:
Exit:
Death:
But thats for later
>>
>>578663725
which motherfucker fucked my pie and sandwich
>>
FUCK ME! I went to get a snack and there's a female torso in the fridge! Who the fuck cut up Heather! God they don't grow on tree's!
>>
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I'd really appreciate it if you guys would stop replacing the rice in the sushi I made with flour and cum.
>>
>>578671072
no fucking way ! we have to keep it and sell it to circus when it´s older
>>
>>578671072
Weren't we gonna eat the cat though? I swear, you guys never plan anything! bunch of slobs...
>>
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whoops guys i accidentally your house
>>
>>578670353
Guys they firetruck stopped in the street.
Do we let them in?
Last time they kicked the door down and I am to broke to replace it.
>>
>>578670927
But I'm on the pill.
>>578670920>>578670934 I thought she was dead. Lol

*tosses some period blood soaked ones*
>>
>>578671258
Actually the hybrid dungeon farm is growing pretty well. We can just grap pelvis' at will down there like apples from a tree. nbd
>>
>>578671292
*munch* wot?
>>
>>578671292
We have already ate the cat
>>
Hey guys, anyone want to head to a bar or a club or a gig tonight or something or are we all content to sit around drinking and crying again?
>>
>>578671326
HOW THE FUCK DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?! WE LIVE IN THE CITY!
>>
>>578663725
who let the nigger in our house?
>>
>>578671423

No shit! Fuck show me bro! got to see this shit!
>>
>>578671398
I replaced your birth control with sugar pills.
>>
>>578671543
WE DONT HAVE THE MONEY RICHIE RICH.
>>
>>578671258
i am pretty sure there are a few girls hiding among us, how in the bloody
hell have they survived here? i have no fucking clue

>>578671398
shit, now that's what i like.
>>
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GODDAMNIT can someone turn the A/C down?
>>
>>578671493
Next time take the furr off
>>
>>578671561
Jack bought a tree.
Guess he should have dug a deeper hole.
>>
>>578671602
Head down to the dungeon and ill be there in a minute i just need to sharpen the eviction axe for a moment.
>>
>>578671698
fuck you ! there are lots of vitamins in furr
>>
Guys, GUYS!!!
THERE IS A BUNCH OF SWAT COPS AROUND THE HOUSE!

WHO THE FUCK SEARCHED FOR LOLITA ON IMAGEFAP AGAIN?!
>>
>>578671636
Yea we do, some fag got raped by his grandma or something and inherited shit tons of money
>>
>>578671756
No it didn't.
I sold it to a 7 year old so we could buy some mayonnaise for on the cat.
>>
>>578671773

Sounds legit! *heads down stairs*
>>
>>578671835
WHY THE FUCK ARE WE EATING DEAD HOOKERS THEN? WE DONT EVEN NEED THIS FUCKING DUNGEON FARM ANYMORE THEN. IM FUCKING DONE

>pours gasoline and lights house on fire again
>>
>>578671608
Actually, I was pregnant for four weeks now. I have an alien baby. I stopped by /x/ on the way home from work. It might be the skinwalker or the ayy lmao
>>
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GOD FUCKINH DAMNIT ANON I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THE SPAGHETTI OUT OF YOUR POCKETS BEFORE YOU DUD LAUNDRY,

FFUCK.
>>
>>578671828
with all the shit saved in the computer, it's kinda hilarious we got caught because someone searched for lolita ....fucking niggers.
Let's nuke the house...oh shit it's already on fire.
>>
>>578672007
>House burns down
>Thread hit bump limit
>We are all homeless
Fuck you faggots!
If I could afford my own home I would never speak to you guys again.
>>
>>578671398
Opiate girl cannot die!!!
>>
EVERYONE CALM THE FUCK DOWN! YOU'RE WAKING MOOT UP!!
>>
Do>>578672007
Don't make a scene harry and eat your hookers if u want to grow big and strong like dady
>>
>>578672007

hey asshole the house is made of asbestos
Thread posts: 310
Thread images: 53


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