please help.

>>578613868
Cut it off before the infection sets in.

please chop it off

nigger

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>>578613868

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>>578613868
I put my flesh light in a blender with the blades taken out. please help.

>>578614372
YOU WHAT YOU NIGGER? HOW DUMB ARE YOU?

1/10 for making reply

can you un twist your dick? what the flying fuck son
go to the fucking emergency room idiot

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>>578614372

you spin me right round baby right round

>>578614372
If you wanna keep that thing, call 911 and get an ambulance, or drive your ass to the hospital

I guess he actually listened for once.

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>>578614372

You sir, are fuckin dumb

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>>578614372

Is it bad this thread kind of made me giggle?

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>>578614372

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the erection went down and it untwisted. it's bleeding and turning purple.

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I dont even care how retarded he is, this is the best fucking thing I've sen all day.

what the fuck

>>578616361
What do we look like? Your doctor? Go to a hospital and talk to a real doctor, you idiot.

>>578616361

dude, go to the fucking emergency room

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>>578616361
inside pee hole

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>>578616361

Time stamp that shit you lying faggot

>pretending to believe this is real
take your cock, and twist it around a time or two
anyone can do it without harming yourself
there's nothing to see here
please stop posting

>>578616525
GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND DRIVE YOUR FUCKING ASS TO THE HOSPITAL

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people are actually falling for this shit goo job OP

>>578616525

Go see a fucking doctor you fucking idiot

>>578613868
10/10 holy shit

>>578616525
Couldn't help but giggle at "pee hole"

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>>578616709
leaving now

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>>578615285

>>578614372

Have fun telling that to a doctor you fucking retard.

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>>578613868
Timestamp or gtfo

>>578614372
>I put my flesh light in a blender with the blades taken out
it took like 2 minutes for that to sink in.
What the hell OP

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>>578616361
>>578616525

>>578613868
I can't stop laughing at you

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>>578616880

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>I put my flesh light in a blender with the blades taken out. please help.

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>>578613868
that looks painful
kek

>>578617256
this picture made it easier to realize why people beat their kids

>>578616880

When you get to the ER you can pretty much tell them you need a urologist due to unfortunate circumstances involving some less rational decisions made out of lustly ambitions. They will know what to do.

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>>578616880
So, tell me op: was it worth it to be an edgy beta tfw no gf & buy a fleshlight instead of talking to people you want to fuck? id rather be rejected and shamed than having to explain to the ER what happened to your dick.

what's sad is, you had a really nice dick. now you'll likely have erection problems for life. enjoy having to take dick pills to get off at home~!

so the problems is that the blender twisted the internal tissues so far, that they locked into place. what you need to do is open up your blender, reverse the flux capacitor, close it back up, and stick your dick back in. the blender should spin in the opposite direction now. this will fix your penis.

trust me, im a doctor

>>578616525
i know you've already allegedly left for hospital, but i'm drunk so god damn man i'm sorry please help your penis and don't do that again

>>578617452
i gotta agree you have (or had) a nice dick rip

>>578616880
i won't go to the hospital, that's just a tiny wound.
just wait until next week

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>>578617475

EMT here. At best, you ripped your urethra slightly, and it will heal eventually.

At worst, you ripped your urethra and the spongy tissue inside your penis. Either you will bleed out from your pisshole, or harmful microbes from your piss will enter your bloodstream and you will go into septic shock.

Alternately, you didn't rip your urethra as badly, but you ripped the spongy tissue. Your penis will swell to be the size, shape, and color of an eggplant, and may never recover.

In all cases, go see a doctor ASAP, and soon after, a urologist.

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>>578614372
This is awesome

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>>578614372
>I put my flesh light in a blender with the blades taken out. please help.

>>578617408
Now I wish I still had the Dr. Ass Marbles images.

did you atleast come?

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>>578617780

>>578617475
>the flux capacitor

>>578616361
Of course it's bleeding. You just ruptured a good deal of engorged tissues, akin to twisting a sheet of high pressure bubble wrap. Just hope the structures that make up your dick heal properly and don't leave permanent internal scarring. That'll screw up how your dick works.

Good luck man. I'm not sure why you posted here, but you oughta get to a hospital quickly. To assess the damage if nothing else, there's not really anything they can do beyond catch and correct anything serious, that won't fix itself.

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>>578614372
holy shit, not much makes me actually lol alone, but this oh my fucking god

>>578614372
Hospital now. NO time to make the funny posts on /b/ don't lose the ability to masterbate my friend

>>578618014
Wow..... Tooke me a second.

/thread

>>578618108
you will be horny once again. do not blender in the future.

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>>578616525
on a positive note OP has some incredibly silky smooth pubes.

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>>578614372
oh my

>>578616525
Just rub some Icy/Hot on it and save the embarrassment of going to the hospital.

Besides, Obamacare probably doesn't cover putting your dick in a blender on purpose.

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>tfw your dick no longer works and the only way to get sexually stimulated is by getting rammed by a dragon dildo.

>>578618490
That's true. He must shampoo and condition his pubes daily.

>>578618579
i doubt icy/hot cures twisted dick

>>578614372
Op u dun goofed

>>578618579
What about accidental dick blending?

>>578618579
Ah, Obamacare.
Weeding out the retards, one at a time

He put his dick in his fleshlight in his blender....

>i'm gone.

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>>578616361

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>>578614372

Faggot OP just took some red food coloring and put a drop of it on his dick.

Calm the fuck down anons.

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>>578617780
Jesus christ! Theres just some things you dont ask!

Don't care if this I'd fake I had a good laugh. Thanks for being a faggot op.

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>>578613868
I hate when that happens
https://screen.yahoo.com/know-hate-night-watchmen-000000299.html

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>>578615285
under-rated post

>>578617679
>harmful microbes from your piss
u wot m8

>>578620686
Isn't piss usually sterile? Or am I misinformed?

I want this to be real ;(

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>mfw this thread

>>578620794
it is

>>578620825
>the most sociopathic thing I have ever heard on /b/.

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>MFW

>>578620794
>>578621005
Piss fetishists detected.

Piss is only sterile inside of your bladder.
The urinary tract is filthy and makes your piss a good source of infection.

>>578621124
Bait or newerfag than I am.

>>578621198
3ddgy5me

>>578621178
No piss fetish here just curious.

nignogs

>>578621285
How the fuck was that edgy? Confirmed bait.

>>578621178
Ummm, no.

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>>578613868
Timestamp faggot otherwise this shit ain't real.

>>578621124

I have Nothing left. I need this to be real. Highlight of the day shit right here m8.

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Can some one please screen cap this mofo?

>>578615285
/thtead

pink and black
hairy nutsak
one eye'd wink
trapped under
what should be in a sink
is that actually a pl8
you tried to twist your dick 360
and walk away
but you're trapped like a rat to b8
infections coming and your black ass
can't do shit but await your f8
no h8 but I think god made a mistake
got the tip right but forgot the bill
now all your basketball american ass
is sit still
your dicks a tornado
in a twist
can't decide who to wipe out first
cumskins then negroes, you decide
but them fordyce spots you can't hide
moms white dads black
so you shoot meth and smoke crack
get a girl with vitiligo and tap that
zebra fucks a moocow
and beastiality's back

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What the fuck man?

WHY

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>>578614372
I foresee this to end up in a "best of /b/ thread" in our near future.

What in the name of sweet merciful fuck?

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>mrw this thread
>christfuck op

>>578616525
Fun fact: I had a girlfriend whom I tried to get to say "peehole" during phone coitus and she left me the next day

Dude, go to the fucking hospital, holy shit!

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>>578614372
goddammit OP, you're stupid on every level of reality

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Oh my

>>578622231
You're turning this into a reddit thread by relaying your own experiences like that.

>>578622231

I fucked an obese bitch drunk and told her I loved her just to see how she would react. She stopped talking to me the next day lol. Fat bitch had a book of mine too.

>>578614372
Time stamp

>>578622556
What book?

someone screencap this

This is glorious

>>578622687
this

>>578613868
Someone screencap this shit.

>>578617475
This seems legit

>>578622682

GoT fag

Clash of Kings

>>578617995
god damn man
OP, why
get a girl
clean yourself up
why

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>>578622687
3/10

le epic bread

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>>578615285

>>578622857
Fuck her, man. Fat cunt stealing your books. I just bet she's reading them now whilst gorging her fat fucking face on pizza and she has a 2 litre bottle of Mountain Jew beside her.

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holy shit this fucking thread

>>578615285
/tlead

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>>578615285

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>>578615285

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>>578614372

Screencap this and post here for me to save maggots.

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>>578623393
here you go

pic of it swelling and getting purple or this is bullshit.. that blood doesnt look legit to me.

>>578623628
thanks

>>578623132
>my sides
Please go back to reddit.

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OP, this is by far the most creative way I've seen someone hurt their self with a blender.

>TFW At least he tried something creative.
>What have you done with yourself today, anon?

>>578622202

>mrw

Get the fuck out.

>>578613868
>Helicopter dick
>The Winding Willy
>Rotini weenie
>Blender boner
>Juicer jock
>Birth control by KOHLER®
>Fusilli fuckstick


>Should have bought a vacuum

No one can help you, put yourself out if your misery now. Your peep ain't ever gonna work properly again.

>>578614372
well, is it worth it?
also
>posting on fucking /b/ instead of going to the hospital

>>578624096
Top fucking kek

Why do you have a black dick in the OP but none of the others?

Someone archive this thread!

>>578624519
you do it if you think its so great.. im outa here

>>578624470
it's obviously the lighting you dumb fuck

>>578624519
http://imcute.yt/b/thread/578613868

>>578621918
0/10

This is the best ylyl thread I've ever seen.. I'm still laughing. This poor cunt almost had he's cock ripped off he's body and all I've done is laughed for a solid half an hour.

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>mfw this whole fucking thread

Jesus christ, that's not how you helicopter your dick goddamn

>>578625234
You faggots. Op confirmed for fag who twisted limp dick and pictured, then untwisted and put food coloring on tip of dick and you all beleived it.
Gayyyyyyyyyyyyyy/10

>>578625735

Most of us for with brains assumed this. But that 1% of hope that this is real and OP posts from ER has me here. Could be epic bread or complete waste.

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>>578624096
got me with fusilli fuckstick

OMG OP ARE YOU OK

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>>578614372

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All the idiots in this thread. "Hurr, go to da doctor!"

Do you *really* want someone who would willing stick his dick into a blender to regain a chance at breeding?

>>578622231
That's not a fun fact, that's a sad story about you being too autistic to live.

>>578626476
Oh yeah, you're the protector of intelligent offspring, Mr. Virgin Beta Fedoralord.

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>>578626476
This anon is actually right

darwin arward contestant

>>578624096
Rotini Weenie got me

>>578626837
lulz

>>578626837
Meagan pls go

Boy, this cap is gonna get a lot of replies in the next ylyl thread, I tell ya!

>>578627184
>implying I'm your fat fuggo ex-girlfriend

It burns.

>>578626980
Holy shit, it's contagious!

>>578627618
Sperglords gon' sperg.

>>578627865
Clearly.

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This is why we have no fap November anons.

we gon need greentext OP

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>>578623852
fgt plz

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>>578625234
>>578622687
>>578622136

baby

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>>578627973
no blend November

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OP are you a fucking retard? Jesus Christ.

Toasting in epic bread.

Posting for future "I posted in that thread"

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>mfw see this thread

Best thread 2000 plus 14

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just when i think i've seen it all

omfg

I like this thread.

>>578617109
So he basically twisted the fleshlight while his dick was inside

GG EZ

>>578619912
Snoogans

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>>578629365

I was here

here's a little something to remember this thread by. :^)

http://webmup.com/dOl3W/

someone archive

EPIC, OP YOU MADE MY DAY

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>>578613868

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>>578613868
>>578614372

All you faggots believe this shit? Retards. Clearly fake blood here >>578616880

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Toasting, OP go see a doc you fucking faggot

>>578631116
its real blood

Me lo parti ha galleta de abano que rico no intentaste darle mas vuelta para ver que pasava?

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Here's the thread as a pic, now suck me untwisted shween for putting any effort into a thread where a guy tries to make a dickflavoured milkshake

>>578631667

You fucking newfag

>>578631769
says the fucking newfag

>>578631667
eh i like it

>>578631667
Thanks for including my post, too. I usually get left out of these.

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>>578631832
>>578631769
get a room faggots

>>578614372
now try it with blades then report in faget

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>>578614372
oh geez

>>578632910
>oh geez
kek just watched that movie

..I still don't get how can one person be some dumb and post this shit on /b/..

Sigh I love you for sharing but get some medical help faggot

Here is to hoping OP has wifi in the hospital

>>578633825
Ya im sticking around hoping for an update

Coming back to see this thread is still up...

I'm sorry, but what kind of sentient, rationale human being sticks their penis in a flesh light in a blender for sexual gratification? That shit would hurt like hell even in its best scenario. No base-functional human would have any problem understanding that.

OP is legit either a master troll or a raging fucktard.

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>mfw reading this bread

>>578635531
Bumping till op is back

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>>578614372

Jesus fucking christ, man!

>>578634138
We all are

>>578636070

he will get surgery dude

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i guess hes gonna be gone for awhile...

>>578631667
best

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>>578613868

Did you cum at least ?

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>>578624096

>Fusilli fuckstick

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Congrats OP you are now on the way to become dickless . this is why you should never play risky games with you weewee

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wtf ?

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I just hope he comes back, maybe they will give him a wiener cast

so op put his dick in a blender without the blades?

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I 'll never put mine in the blender. Mama didn't raise no dick blendin nigga

>>578640423
ffs - read the OP

>>578616525
pee hole? How old are you, 4?

>>578640423
sorry dude, thread been cropped

he took blades out, put his fleshlight in, stuck his dick in and set it off!

Queen Latifah shit man

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>>578613868
>>578614372
>>578615285
>>578616361
>>578616525
>>578616880

this fukin thread

This fucking thread about dickflavoured milkshakes is still alive goddamnit

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>>578613868

Holy acual fuck, great start of my day...

>>578635043
So, basically, you are asexual.

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>>578615285

Just read the whole thread. Somebody needs to archive this shit.