Arkadio here. Anyone in the mood for a feels thread? I'm

Always down for a /b/awww thread

ruralfag at the moment. My brother and sister left for school in the city months ago and all I got are you /b/ros and frankly, its been a while since I last talked to anyone.
I miss the city and aimlessly walking around mostly 24/7. I miss them pointless adventures and the people you randomly meet who do the same.

>>577131274
>its been a while since I last talked to anyone.
Why?

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I just realized with this picture, with my mother, I just can't joke around with her. I love her too much to even do that. Sure with my dad I can call her a faggot and shit like that but damn.

>be me and mum last year walking home from shopping.
>mum crosses the highway without noticing the car in the close lane
>pull her back and say 'Muuuum, get back here you idiot.
>get home and go to my room to feel guilt for the next few days.

>>577131357
I don't like the people up here. Mind you I'm a canadafag. I tend to keep to myself while up here by choice. People are just too stupid up here and I don't wuite like it; scenery is nice on a lighter note

Today I realized the past two years I've been living in denial of loving my one that got away, and the way things ended I will never be capable of facing her no matter how strong a person I become because to her I will always be weak. I've partied for two years thinking I was free from her grasp, only to realize her grasp was what reminded me I was free and loving a life I chose. I had the power blindly, and it's taken me two years to realize that. I'm down for this thread

>>577131786
Where in Canada?

I feel clinically depressed for no reason, and it's killing me. I woke up well today, yet feel so down its not even funny (or retarded;pun intended). Usually I'm the clown you hang around with cause he's funny, but today, today I don't feel good at all.

>>577131808
Would this be perhaps of an internal feeling that she never left you that you reject but still feel maybe? Care to explain a bit if you will?

I only speak of what I felt with a former lover, thats the premise I'm going off of anyway.

>>577131872
Arkadio is a moniker I write under as I'm a bit on the private side but I'm from Manitoba.

Yeah, OP. In fact I do.

I was talking with a friend of mine who lives in California, and she was telling me about what her thoughts were on romance. She was saying that she doesn’t believe that any two people are completely compatible with each other in a romantic sense. And some of what she was saying made a little bit of sense. Like, how astronomically unlikely it is for two people to be so same minded that they are destine to find and fall in love with their perfect match.
And I agreed with her. Which is just slightly contradictory with what I usually think. I mean I always thought I was a bit of an escapist, being sappy and fairy-tale-y and always thinking that relationships could have a “happily ever after” so to speak. But I've now come to know through experience that this isn't objectively true, and sometimes, what people call love, or what constitutes a romantic relationship is so far skewed and distorted by the perception of people now-a-days, that it’s difficult to tell whats real and what’s fake. And that’s a dilemma.
But, after some thought I did come to terms with the idea by rationalizing the following – Maybe what makes a relationship special is not the obvious things, like an outwardly happy couple, or not having any fights, or liking the same things or sharing interests and so forth. It’s not even what people do to show they care for the other person. And sure, those things are important components that should be included, but all too often two people “fall in love” and then back out again, even while demonstrating that they care deeply about the other person, and maybe they do. All too often, all the effort and nice gestures, and sweet nothings don’t amount enough to keep two people together... Is it?

>(cont.)

>>577132294
I asked myself, If it’s not the big, obvious and outward things that acts to keep two people together, what is? Maybe it’s just a very particular feeling. And this feeling is what I’m sitting here trying to indentify. And even though I can’t call it by name, I’ve experienced it before and I can tell you about when you can sense the feeling.
It can happen when someone appreciates your flaws and your mistakes, and accepts them as a part of you. It can happen when somebody laughs at a joke you tell that you know is dumb, gets mad at you when you act a fool, but loves to listen and hear you talk. It happens when you find someone who makes you want to be a better person, and trusts you implicitly by never being afraid of honesty and being true to ones self. There doesn’t /need/ to be escapist cliches like candlelight dinners, and long walks on the beach, and running after each other in the rain, nahh... It’s less obvious, less obtrusive, more elegant and poetic than that.
To believe in someone is to love, to tease them playfully, to get annoyed at the other person but knowing it will never make a negative difference in the long run, and resolving to laugh about it.. Fighting over the last slice of pizza, even. It’s hard to explain, but the dumbest things can have so much more significance when it’s “compatible” with you.
There’s a saying that I always thought was pretty apt; it goes something like “you know you’ve found someone special when you’d rather do nothing with them, than everything with anyone else.” And I take that to mean that romantic motifs are not prerequisite to wonderful relationship. Sometimes the “feeling” is just that of deep friendship, often times, much much more. It’s all these silly things I’ve listed from the exciting to the mundane, that make up the feeling that I struggle to describe.

That's all I really want, guys. Is that really too much to ask?

Two Saturdays ago my favorite child pet had to be put down.
Last Saturday, my horse was next for a freak accident. I knew that mare for 25 years.
Yesterday, my dad died in a car accident.

I don't want next Saturday to come.

>>577132286
Not much you can do there in the way of landscape photography, but diving one of your major lakes might be fun. going out into the woods might be fruitful, too, if you can find any animals to photograph.

Do you plan to move back to a city soon?

>>577132150
The relationship was good, then I noticed a behavioral shift on my part, and couldn't pinpoint it. After sharing it with her she called me weak for not just breaking up with her, which never had been my intent. From my perspective I was dealing with a couple family deaths and needed someone to talk to, but she didn't like when people dwelt on things for longer than a couple days. I realize now that it's been two years and by her standards any form of contact would be weak, which leaves me only to hope there are still quality women like she was out there

>>577132432
Lately I've found with the woman I'm talking with, sometimes it's the mundane things that can have much more of an impact positively. Like tonight for example between her and I, we were talking on skype just an hour ago or so, and at the same time we just shared random pictures with each other through facebook inboxes and just laughed a bit of the night away.
I do see what you're saying with the expectations of a relationship though and to me that makes sense (how it was said, that is). But with her views and all (and here's my two cents on that to remind you), is that even though two buildings may look alike, it's still could be architecturally different from one another.

And whether or not the relationship keeps adrift in the river, for that is up to you and how you build upon that.

>>577132639
Ontario has the gr8 lakes, but manitoba is pretty much water anyway north half of it. I like the woods too not to forget that. I like getting lost, it's the best part. And yes, I plan on getting back to the city in a few weeks. Refer to part about having the woman there where then I can only hope for the best.

>>577132803
Don't let her personality become a standard for potential gfs man. Might just be old news to you, but just take it as areminder. You're looking at her way metaphorically where then you don't really see what you're really missing. All I can say right now is I wish you the best, Captain.

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I know it's kinda stupid and typical /b/ shit but I think in. Way this post saved my life.

I'm 18 and about a year ago I was going through some heavy shit in life. Mild depression severe anxiety. Like catching the train to school would freak me the fuck out, I'd feel like everyone was staring at me, I'd panic and shit.

Well, like so many weirdos before me I started browsing /b/ and I guess I found the freedom of being an anonymous shit cunt a little liberating.

Well one night I was feeling pretty bad and downed a a bottle of vodka and thought this is it man, I'm gonna do it. So I took my school tie, tied it to the top of the stairs and let myself drop. The pain was excruciating but as I started to get light headed in kind of had a "profound feeling" most likely the brain damage though haha.

Anyway I got the tie loose and took a cold shower, snuggled up to some deviancy on /b/ and stumbled across a bawwww thread. Reading the shit there I was like wtf I literally have nothing to be sad about compared to this shit.

Life started looking up from that day. I read this post and thought fuck it, I'm gonna (for lack of a better term) "be all I can be."

I worked out day and night, put on 15kg of muscle (I was a skinny dickhead) and started to speak to army recruiters.

So yeah that's my little story I guess, it doesn't have shit on a lot of the stuff on here but yeah that's me.

>>577133467
I quite often frequent feels thread just to talk with whoever may feel the need to talk about whatever; whatever so it may be. And just as long as you talk and share whatever it is (even if it was the pointless and irrelevant things), that's all I can ask for and to remind all you that there's always someone willing to talk and all that, I've come to know a bit of you guise and you're all fuckin' the coolest cats on the block /b/ruh. Not kidding man.

>>577132639
lel. misread that one. my bad. The place I'm moving is actually right off the lakeside so that's where I usually sit and chill, a serene place really. It's nice so sit there and just stare out in to the open horizons

>>577133457
It may be old news, but that doesn't keep it from being good news. 7 billion people out there, each a unique product of unique combinations of environments and perspectives, I'm not afraid of being alone, it's when I meet girls and they just don't seem to carry themselves with confidence and self respect, but rather harbor judgement and insecurities. It's tough to not generalize, and that's why I'm glad I had the time I did with her, and that's what makes me feel shitty for acting like she was nothing to me. But it's good to have it off my chest, I appreciate the thread OP, you make the internet better

Don't kno what to do with my current situation with my gf. Found out she was lying to me couple months ago pretending to be her friend and texting me about my gfs problems and everytime we would argue or something she would act like she's gonna kill herself and all this shit and have me call her and then acting like she's dying I knew something was wrong from the very start.Then finally caught her and pushed her to tell me and then claims she was gonna tell me after a month when she clearly told me "I was hoping itd go away" then I found a naked video she apparently sent to a girl and they were talking about each other's boyfriends and trading videos asking if it was good enough eh , I still dont believe it considering she apparently forgot everything about that person now :/ and then finally she's not even texting me that much anymore and is always wanting people to text her and she's saying shit to other guys it's just a big mess. Asked her to show me her phone when before she has without a problem and now all a sudden she doesn't want anyone going through her phone. And I forgot to mention she messaged one of her exes saying she missed him and I found that on her account hiding it from me and her response was she should told me and she just missed his friendship since they were close...just a big rant and she's a mom ..I love that little baby like my own idk what to do

>>577133886
Cheers mate.

It's weird how when you slump to your lowest there is always some just as low or lower to shoot the breeze with.

I don't have much in the way of sob stories but it's cool to know someone's listening.

>>577134296
You're doing what you can in your willpower to keep things in open consideration when it comes to meeting people, that I can see. Trials and tribulations, man. You win some you lose some, however that doesn't mean you can't pick things up to live and learn from. Go on and have the time of your life now, enjoy it. Sometimes the great things in life are unexpected. You're too focused on this stigma that you don't quite catch on what you're missing.

>>577134562
It's not weird at all, though comparing one another's things is not of any interest to me, it may just be a plausible fact in someone else's eyes.
You're cheers are acknowledged, friend.

Also, should anyone else like to talk about something on their mind, my email is always open to you guys; even if it were to be a simple 'Hey, how are you?' talk that some people long for. I'm always up for a talk and whatnot.
>[email protected]

>>577135421
sorry I haven't said much. I've been busy.
As you know it's late (or super early) and Ihave to go to bed.
I might write you later. Cheers.

>>577135798
Not a problem, /b/ro. I'm awake most my days anyway, just write whenever you will and I'll be there. Take care, man.

captcha: Captain stabioa

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bumping with quick text about an ex of mine

I miss the little shit more than anything. With her, sure we'd spend our days together and all, but it's the little things that counted more than anything even sex. Like my walks (which took forfucking ever in whatever weather each and every day) to pick her up for the day and walk her home in the evening where we'd talk the less insignificant and mundane things together and just sit in the dark fields outside her house for hours. Ultimately, I miss them feels.

>>577136421
Oh duuuuude. Your partner in crime, the German girl. Dude I had a full on heart to heart with you a while ago. Crazy.

>>577135421
>>577135421
Ok dude, you seem like a real stand up character. Since I'm up and I feel a it poetic (although it may just be the beer) I'll tell you how I let my one and only high school crush, slip through my fingers.

Give me a minute to type this thing out.

>>577131612
>Sure with my dad I can call her a faggot
fuckin' lol. my bad

not the end of the world for me, but still i'm going through some depression lately.

i think i suddenly lost a lot of things in my life that i always took for granted. i was winning so hard at life, that i guess it was unreal.

long story short. this next december i was supposed to be getting married to my japanese ex girlfriend that i met 5 years ago during my days as student in japan.

we had gone through 3 years of long distance relationship. after so much struggle she had finally decided to move to my country. once there she began to show many mental disorders that i guess i was not able to see while being so far away from each other. but really, she had big mental issues, like crying incessantly for no reason and threatening with suicide to the point of aiming a knife at her chin. also had social phobia, and wouldn't come with me to social reunions with friends, etc.

the worst happened when my company sent me to work to the US for a fixed term. all kinds of shit happened during that time.

she got mentally worse. cheated on me. and to top it all off, i did something really stupid at my work and got fired. all at the same time.

i returned to my country, having lost what i considered my dream job. the ex and i tried to fix our relationship, but her mind was already too messed up for that and ended up going through a living hell.

a few months ago she returned to japan after i strongly recommended her to get professional help.

trying to get on my feet, i found a job shortly there after, but required me to move to the US permanently.

and here i am.

job is actually very good and the pay is great. but i feel so fucking lonely here.
i have no friends and no family here. I still think of my ex and our relationship of almost 5 years. we were about to get married dammit. it makes no sense for me to be earning big bucks if i have no one with who to share the happiness. i feel so desperate that I've considered countless times to quit my job and go back home.

>>577137791
Thought break man, I feel for ya. Keep ya chin up mate.

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>>577137791
Even though I can't imagine how it feels to be in your position, do know that in some ways or another the a puzzle piece can and will fit somewhere and with someone. Maybe it's time you looked at things vicariously, from an outside point of view and scaled the negatives and positives and act upon in whatever way makes you happy.
As mentioned in my previous thread; pic related

>>577137515
Yes, I made it something to myself to drop by whenever a feels thread ensues to talk about whatever. Glad to see you back here nonetheless.

>>577139139
I mean not in that sense, but to have been able to get to talk to you again, man.

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keeping thread alive with another pic of first love / ex and as this anon remembers, my past partner in crime.

>>577139271
Haha yeah man you too. I'm typing up my thing now hold up.

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>>577140804
You poor fucker.

>>577139271
alright man here is part 1 I guess.

It's the 11th grade.I'm 16. It's 8am on a Monday and I'm on the train on my way to school.
I'm wearing my school uniform, but due to my bed head and my "fuck all this" 11th grade attitude
I'm in no way looking neat. I'm staring at the floor with the tired-angry expression that I wore
in those days, trying to avoid any and all eye contact.


little by little the train fills up and before long there are afew adults standing, so i stand up and offer my seat to
a lady dressed in business attire.

I stand by the door, zoning out to whatever music was fueling my sad-anxious-self-hating emotions at the time.
We pull into the next station and for some reason i look up. And I see her.

The sunlight was hitting her blonde hair and she seemed like she was glowing. She was wearing her green school dress.
She had a blue ribbon tying her hair into a loose pony tail, some strands were messy at the front. To put it simply:

she was cute as all fuck, and I felt different from that moment on.

She hopped onto the train and It felt like something out of a movie.

Our eyes met. She smiles a little, in a kind of goofy half smile half laugh. I'm still blown away at this point and I'm
sure it was all over my face.I'm awkward as hell but i smile back a little.

I go back to my own little word, staring at the floor, all the while trying to break down what I'm feeling.

(Cont.)

>>577141541
I think you've got the wrong thread, dude.

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Beautiful story

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I cry everytiem

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Fucking love this irish fucker

>>577142370
damn...

>>577142609
Eight Beers, man. Seems like he'd be the one to pass bro status greatly.

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just dumping feels folder

>>577141608
The whole ride I keep glancing up, she always finds my glance and we kind of share a little moemnt every time.
Well after what feels like an eternity of akwardness and charged glances, we arrive at our stop.
She steps off first.

WE both walk up the hill towards school, a few steps away from eachother. There is a school gate coming up.
She stops in front of it and pauses for a moment. I walk by, we dont say anything.

This kinda thing happened every day up untill graduation day.

I dont know why but I never spoke to her. We would kind of see each other, make eye contact, then I'd fade into
my little dumb-fuckin "i hate all yalls" world.

I dont think I was scared to talk to her, it was just that I liked the simplicity of the whole thing.
We had this minute connection but just seeing her pulled me out of this fucked up mood, even for just a few moments.

I still don't know her name, what she liked and dislikes, what kind of movies she liked or what music she listend
to on those train rides.

But it was like for that one moment none of that mattered and on a crowded train it felt like it was just me and her.
and i enjoyed that.

I remeber one time though when we were walking up the hill one time, i was ahead of her and i got a text from a friend
asking me to wait up for him, so i stopped and turned around, she was there, she looked up and for a moment i could
see in her eyes she was like "this is it, he's about to talk to me" and i just walked by her. She kind of lit up
then stopped. She stopped for a while, because when i looked over my shoulder she was still there.

I don't know what could have been or whether this is just a ginat misread and we didnt have this silent conecction
but I don't know, for what it was at the time it was all i needed. Is it sad? maybe but i guess its a sadness I
chose.

cheers for listening fuckers!

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dem feels

>>577130897

>be 20
>weak jawline
>got better because braces for 2 years
>still a weak jawline and chin tho
>therefore, face looks good from the front but kinda bad from the side

mouth breathing I guess :"(

>>577143053
Interesting

>20
>just up and left uni for no real reason
>2k in debt now
>no car
>no job
>mom is a deadbeat druggie
>dad died when i was young
>sister and brother left home already
>feel lost

I'm a fairly attractive guy, intelligent, friendly, and I'm easy to get along with. I've never had any problems with school and I was a jock.

I just don't fucking know, /b/. I just don't feel anymore, I have no drive.. to do anything. I just sleep for 12 hours a day, wake up, sit on my computer for several hours, wash rinse repeat.

Has anyone else had this before? I can't even remember when it started. Just all of a sudden one day I started refusing my friend's invitations to hangout, quit sports, quit uni. Just quit everything I guess.

>>577143626
It will get better. It seems that it won't but it will.

I had the same feeling and worst of it is emptiness, like no purpose and no opportunities of change.

But it will get better i promise.

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>>577143287

Girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me a few days ago. This shit sucks so bad. Feeling with you guys.

>>577143321
Huh?

>>577143954

feels bad man, paying for something I didn't know as a kid

>>577144131
Tips:

* Use Facebook "unfollow", you don't have to unfriend her but everytime you see her will be painful, avoid it
* If 0% possibilities of getting her back do not become friends. She will try so because somehow she misses you. Becoming friends not only will be painful for you but also erease completely all posibilities of her missing you because you'll still be there.

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>>577144329
I'm here for you mate.

Still here guise. It's quite something to know at face value of one another people assume the best of one where as one may be feeling the kind of things we feel today here in this thread. The beauty of it all-- the stories, the past relationships, and current ones, and the feeling of coming together. That's what brings me back to these threads. And even so as we talk briefly, I love you guys. You're not alone here.

>>577142370
This actually had me in tears...damn..

>>577143831
Thanks, anon. My friends talk shit saying if I really wanted to change my situation i would. How do I change it when I can't even leave my house to get food?

Burial on the Presidio Banks by This Will Destroy You

I want you guys to take a moment to listen to this if you choose to. Solemn, yes; but enter the crescendo and that's where I feel best about myself and why I still stand the ground I do today through depression.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWitVrXe5tg

>>577143228
That was a long read

I'm a shit writer but I have a story to share, sorry if it's hard to read

>at 12 get a dog for my birthday
>poor family so get small dog, easier to care for
>people would say "that's not a dog, that's a rat"
>bullied at school
>one day a jock trying to impress some chick goes to kick my dog
>bigfuckingmistake.jpg
>get chunk of metal and repeatedly hit him over the head
>people screaming in fear and a rumor spreads that i'm psycho
>bullying gets worse so i leave school and become depressed
>no friends, never leave the house
>dog chills with me every night
>start to become suicidal and always OD
>dog starts to notice

I'm 19 now and every morning my dog uses his skull to barge open my door, he's really tiny but still does it, he'll then jump n my bed and pull my headphones out to make sure i'm okay, it's really heartwarming.

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>>577144959
Different annon but I've been their. You change it slowly. At first it was go outside for a few minutes. Then it was walking around my apartment complex. The biggest help was actually getting a dog since I was then forced to leave and make a routine.

Pic related it's my dog

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One of my favourites

>>577144959
These situations follow certain patterns or "stages"

You are in this stage, one of the most painful ones, which I would call "no hope"

Now you think you are down because you are still looking at the past

With time, you will feel this stage as normallity, you'll see the bottom as a normal stage and this is sad but allows you to start looking higher.

What I mean is that to be in pain and emptyness for a long time actually makes you deal with it and from then on starts getting better

>>577144959
Comfortably. Take your time, however long you may need in little steps. With that in mind, do know that in the end it'll be worth it. You've gotta start somewhere, sometime. Just don't give up. You're to focused on what's hindering you than looking at the solution. Breathe in, and realize you have your own life to show those people who don't believe in you. Disregarding that, don't do it for them, more importantly do it for yourself.

>>577144371
Thanks man I'll do that. I think there is a possibility, but I'm very uncertain. You guys probably don't care, but I'm going to type it out anyway.

We've had a bumpy relationship. Broken up a few times, before because I fucked up, but that's another story. This last year has been going quite smoothly until a couple months ago. For quite a while she had been very dismissive and giving me very little attention. We would not kiss or hug when we were amongst people. Last week she sent me a text saying it wasn't the same anymore. She didn't have the same feelings as before. I said we could work this out, but I need you on the team. Some days went by. When we where watching a movie she said she needed to talk. I thought fuck, here it comes. She said some stuff, but basically she broke up with me. I can't really remember what she said I was so devastated. I cried like crazy it hurt like a fucking bitch sitting there with her telling me these things i am so fucking miserable i fucking loved her dammit. To make it worse; the next day she said she regrets breaking up with me and that she still loves me. She cant do that man,just break up with me and then regret it the next day. øaskdmf@ what the fuck do i do now. everything is so mundane hollow rw09+e

FUck i am not built for this shit.

>>577145742
Would this be your first relationship if I may ask?

>>577145506
>>577145661
>>577145692
Thanks, anons. It's in my nature to take things slowly. I suppose I'm just taking my time with this as well. I'll take this advice and start a routine of just going outside everyday.

Sorry to keep bitching, it just bothers me that they all have wealthy parents or someone in their family to bail them out when they fuck up.
I have no one. My dad died when I was 5, it just fucking sucks having to be on my own. I've never had anyone to help me like they do.

>be me
>parents have been divorced forever
>never was really close to my dad, but loved my grandma (his mom)
>grandmas house burns down, takes 2 years to build a new one (i was 15 at that time)
>dad and grandma stop talking to each other
>grandma tells me he threatened to beat her
>fast forward 3 years
>havent talked to dad in months, studying at university
>get home for weekend
>decide to go visit him
>casually ask what is wrong between him and grandma
>says i dont want to know
>press on
>tells the saddest fucking story i have ever heard:
recapitulation:
>house just burned down
>dad is the only one who actually visited grandma in hospital
>basically made the insurance pay which was difficult since the fire was actually grandmas own fault
>builds her a new house, lets her live with him
>totally neglects his own company, nearly goes bankrupt
>now i understand why he always looked so sad in the last years the few times i visited him
>only thing grandma does is talking shit about him
>tells whole family what an asshole he is based on made-up reasons
>while living in the house he built for her with the money he gave her
>by now dad is actually crying
>fuck this shit

>>577145742
Problem is girls think totally different from us.

They enjoy this, they have an emotional brain programmed to do so. She maybe just did that, unconciouslly, to confirm that you were still in love with her.

The thing is that if you really love her you have to think how to keep her, and not act on emotions.

Girls have enough empathy and emotions they don't need yours. They need security and to fall in love they need to feel attached to you, like they can lose you.

As long as a girl knows you love her more than she does, you're gonna have a bad time.

So what I would suggest, knowing what they look for, is that before doing shit, texting or saying something in front of her you think coldly "is this gonna show strength or weakness to her?"

Man I went on so many shit with girls that I can say I know how they work. And all of them are similar, no matter what they tell you.

I tried being honest and loving but when they have doubts about the relation only thing that can make them rethink and love you back is if you have confidence, not show emotions and you show her that you don't actually need her.

Next time a girl says some shit like "it is not the same" just tell her "I love you, but if you don't want to be with me is fine, I'll find one who trully loves me". Then not text her for a week and she will eventually come crying to you saying she loves you.

And that's the opposite of we always do. We always believe in the romantic definition of love. This doesn't work anymore.

>>577146068
Yes it was. Saw her at a party last night. It was so weird not being able to approach her and hug her.. I think of her all the time man. I can just sit watching some tv-show or something and start to cry.

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depression...

>>577146223
Little steps man. You can do this. It may not be tomorrow, or next week; but it will happen that you make your steps away from home.

>>577146487
Your first love is always the hardest, this fellow anon that may or may not be in this thread know of my ex, we've been together 2007-2012 I believe (being this one >>577140284 and >>577136421)
You will get through this, just not today. Like I said earlier in this thread, sometimes in life the greatest of all things may just come unexpectedly. I'm still waiting for that day, and I have been since we mutually called it off. Sure it completely devastated me, I still stand my ground here and go at life one day at a time in bettering myself. You can do this man.

>>577147206
>this fellow anon [..,] in this thread know(s) of my ex
From a previous thread that is.

>>577146450
I do still love her, but in the way that grows on you. The relationship couldn't have gone on much longer the way it was the last few week. I didn't imagine myself with her in like 50 years so it had to end sometime.

Im still uncertain of whether or not I want to make an effort to get her back. I kinda failed on that strength thing you talked about when she messaged me the day after the breakup. I said some crap like:

Do not say that .. : ( ( (
It's too late
Sjsjajkaks
You have broken up with me
I can't handle this
I still love you, but you can not break up and then regret it the day after
I'm really broken so i need some time.

Then she said she was sorry and that we probably should keep some distance now in the start.

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No rest

>>577147552
Perhaps her conscious infrastructure knows that should something like getting back together happen she'd know that she'd be able to get away with doing that agaiin? I don't know. At this point I'm considering any viable option, don't mind me.

Her and I, my ex from these posts, we too have been on and off every now and then. Except in my case, i'd broke up with her on December 20th, 2010. Also a day when a friend committed suicide years prior explaining the roots of my seasonal afftective disorder. Being on and off again, it just wasn't the same as it was the first time

Know however, I'm not trying to influence you in anyway, just you never really get the high you had the first time. and that I wish the best for you man.

>>577147552
Well if you have doubts that you should try to get her back that's good.

Even you realized that this relationship was going nowhere.

It is hard to realize it when you're still in love.

Yeah your response showed her that you actually needed her and gave her power thus decreasing your odds of getting her back.

I had a relationship like yours, it seemed that we could never be happy with each other, but I was so in love I didn't reallize how much shitty our relationship was.

With time I look back and I'm glad we broke up. A relationship must be to provide happiness and not built on necessity.

Some day you will meet a person that will make everything flow, no need for stupid discussions every week. She will simply love you. Don't let her go once you find her.

>>577148184
Thanks for putting in words that I could not.
Life never ends in the state of found bliss.

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>>577142370
I would have killed my fucking mom, i hope this is fake

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>>577148184
Thanks for the good advice man. Don't know what I'm going to do with the relationship yet. Part of me wants to get her back and make it work, and part of me wants to move on. Any advice on moving on?

Removed the pictures of me and her from my library so i don't have to look at them all the time. That was so fucking hard man. Looking back at all our good memories and realizing there will be no more...

>>577130897
do you ever feel like no matter what you do it's just gonna pan out fucking terribly? No matter how much you want it or want to at least give it a try you just know that it'll never turn out well for you.

2 years since i've moved out of home where i was abused to shit that i couldn't think a single positive thought. Yet here I am. 2 fucking ears later and I still have no real job. Living of centrelink basically (welfare) and playing nothing but dota and other games. I want to get a fucking job but I just know they'll hire some girl with blonde hair and tits rather than a guy with no experience other than DJ'ing.

Hell even the fucking girl I'm sleeping with told me last night she could never be in a relationship since she's too emotionally fucked. So here I am sitting in the dark with no job. no love interest (as petty of a reason that may be). no hope. no aspirations what so ever since i know it'll just backfire on me and no drive to better myself.

I'm not writing this out so someone could sympathise with me i just want to write so i can vent instead of thinking this. Iunno maybe i should take anti-depressants? anyone ever had luck with them?

Also does anyone feel tired of having to wear this mask that we all put on? whether its for our parents or friends or SO? My friends think I'm living some golden lifestyle when really im just laying in bed hoping no one will ask me to get up so i can waste another day. I'm so fucking tired of everything and everyone. Fuck it all.

>>577146223
You can fucking do it man, but remember only you can. It doesn't matter if you take it slow, as long as you stick to it. Life shits on everyone, but some people get a head start, others don't.

I've been in a similar situation and this fucking post man, helped me make the first step >>577133467

> be 19
> Left College
> Mom died when i was young
> Dad suffers deep depression
> No other family
> Broke as fuck, used to have to steal food before my benefits came through
> Felt like a fucking lowlife
> No Job experience
> All i had was a broken ass laptop, which I bought from money I saved from a paper round when i was younger
> browse /b and internet all day
> laptop broke all the time
> everyday i'd learn something new fixing shit
> Saw this post >>577133467
> Realised the only thing I enjoy doing is fixing my laptop, so I focused on that
> Worked on my CV
> Studied IT in all my spare time
> got an IT apprenticeship

That was a few years ago, I'm now a IT engineer. Seriously dude, you can do it.

Also if your in the UK the government is piling shit loads of money into apprenticeships, I work for IT apprenticeship training provider and the best applicants are all 20+, so don't be discouraged just because your older. It could help you get the foot in the door somewhere.

Good luck dude

I'm going to call it a night, nearly 4 and a half hours here in this thread, I should be off now. But I'll give a few minutes to lurk a bit. Thanks for the good thread, /b/ros.
Once again, should any of you like to talk anytime, I'm available anytime, literally.

> [email protected]

Peace be with you fellow anons. Wish you all the best. Until next feels thread, my regards are with you guys.

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>>577148892
Advice on moving on:

It is like smoking, you can not quit if you don't quit at all.

After a month it starts getting better but once she talks to you again and so the counter gets back to zero.

Only thing that worked for me is total lack of contact. I skyped with her and I told her that I can not go on if we're still in contact. She understood and we said goodbye.

I ereased everything that could remember me of her, unfollow her on facebook (not unfriend but I don't see her posts) and put a sweater he had given me as present in the drawer.

Only thing that reminds me of her is a necklace she gave me for my birthday. Pic related. I just wear this like a scar, somehow is the only thing I can not put away.

>>577143228
I almost cried at that man. Shed a tear

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>>577149654
It's going to be really tough. We go to the same school and have quite a lot of mutual friends so I'm going to see her every once in a while. That counter will get reset many times. That's part of what makes this so hard. How can I handle seeing her having fun, dancing, talking and possibly having sex with new guys? That's going to crush me completely. I know I'm not supposed to think about it, but how can't I. I was her first everything.

>>577150440
Yeah it is going to be hard, accept it.

Try to get another girl, even if you don't love her sometimes it really helps.