Starting off. I'm not fat, not socially inept, not ugly, I have money, I have my own place, my own car, and a good job. I'm close to my family and well liked among my friends. I know many women and really enjoy their company.
The problem is that I've never been attracted to any of the women with whom I've associated. They tend to be (for lack of a better metric) 7's and 8's. Cute girls with decent bodies but not much of a head on their shoulders.
My standards are too high. There's no room for debate on that. But I also have no interest in changing the fact. I don't have much of a sex drive and I'm not a socialite, so I don't care who people see at my side.
I don't think I'm asexual. I'm not gay.
It's just really frustrating because I AM attracted to women, and I want to have a relationship with an amazing woman, but I doubt it will ever happen.
Has anyone here ever felt like this and managed to get over it? Any advice?
>>576748731 I feel this way too, very exactly actually, haven't gotten over it. People keep telling me I'll eventually meet the right now, and girls keep asking ''how are you single, why don't you have a girlfriend?''. Something tells me I'm too nice, but I'm not changing, fuck that. Alcohol keeps me busy while waiting for the right girl to come by, and I don't care if I'm 50 y/o and single. I'll wait.
thing is I am not going to say all that crappy love story bs. I will not tell you to wait for your one true love or anything.
ultimatly "true love" is not simply to be found. that is the truth of my life
love grows. if you find a girl you could imagine spending your time with, with whom you can laugh and smile fk it and start a relationship. relationships are hard work for both parties and it will not be easy! but over time you feelings will grow for each other, assumed you both work on it
>>576750335 I'll give you a more serious answer. I'm the same way you are minus the high standards. Odds are you're just not attractive enough-I'm a six or seven and even though I'm a lot better off than most guys my age, women are stupid. Unless you're in your late twenties, of course. Then bitches should be starting to know better
>>576748731 I feel similarly too you, I'm super picky, i find it really easy to find a flaw or reason i shouldn't be with someone and dismiss them for it. I honestly worry that I'm never going to find the right person for me, and I'm not someone who can just jump into a relationship and "make it work" like I see so many people do.
I go out to the bar with friends every weekend and try to meet girls and such, its uncomfortable sometimes but overall a good time. Just gotta force yourself to do it
>>576748731 You are not going to find everything you prize in one person. Period. And if you did, as time passes there were be mismatches and adjustments. Part of gaining social experience is learning that you won't find everything, and getting comfortable with a cup that is mostly full rather than completely full.
I wasn't sure if you wanted responses from men only, if not, I felt compelled to reply. You're not alone, I can relate when it comes to having a history of dating the 'not having a very good head on their shoulder's' kind of people. I'm not shallow by any means, in fact- I've dated some less than handsome men purely due to finding the intellectual appeal to them is significant.
However, this isn't about ME... Back to you---
What type of places do you meet your potential dates??
I don't think there is too much that you can really do OP other than finding a way to switch your standards/lower them a little, or just keep waiting for the one that'll meet the standards of which that you speak.
I will agree though that many of the girls that I have associated with at my university have good looks but are about as deep as a kiddie pool.
I have had one girlfriend that met the standards of an intellectual, smart, and also very attractive girl. But I stupidly let her go and I've regretted it since. I guess you just have to keep your eyes open and not miss the chance when it arises, even if you think that it's not what it is at the time.
>>576753360 Hm. Hard to give a good stab at something so vague... Age range u generally pick up? & is it same as yours? --- sadly it seems women now a day focus a majority of their energy on improving the way they look... Sure, nothing is wrong with that- however, when they allow this to become a primary focus (which is seemingly very easy to fall into doing), then everything else that makes up a cultured person falls at wayside. That's a very general response--- as I don't have many details to go off of here.
>>576755395 I'm 26. Lowest I'd go is 21, but they tend to be really flighty or are just fucking around. Which was fun for a while.
I do tend to have a thing for women a year or two older because they seem to have their shit together. But in a community of 200'000 people, they tend to be in relationships already.
I'm tempted to secede and just do what the other anons have suggested and focus my energy elsewhere. But the reason I'm having this dilemma now is because I just finished 4 years of living in that headspace and my priorities are different.
>>576748731 You seem too shallow, but you're financially well-off. Use that to your advantage, and go find you some 8 to 10 escorts, and go get laid. There're plenty of gold-diggers out there who're 8's to 10's. It also helps to be very well-spoken, and know how to manipulate women with just your words alone. Be confident enough to let them know they're wanted by you, and that you're willing to tip them very well for their favor. Women usually tend to go for birds of their feather, so if you're a 5-7/10 looking for an 8-10/10, then you're essentially looking for a needle in a haystack. The only way you'll ever find one is maybe in some mental hospital, or maybe in some third-world country where good-looking men are scarce. She'd have to be some woman who took extremely good care of herself while staying ignorant enough to somehow find you attractive. Catch my drift yet, op? Do you understand the logic and wisdom in my advice? Your move, op.
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