>>576227367 Im on a cell so Im gonna say that link is tl;dr can you give me a short, possibly even greentext version? Also; being as you were a male molested by an older female, how has that affected you now in your later years?
>>576228074 I don't do green text, being an oldfag and all (never liked the idea.) I will tl;dr for you though.
I was 12, a girl of 22 had a fetish for young boys, and found me to be easy pickings. But she stuck around and we grew close as time went on.
At first there were no noticeable differences between me and the other guys. That is until I found I was only attracted to women older than myself. And I had developed major trust issues. This made dating a fucking nightmare. After I admitted and accepted my fetish, things became easier to deal with. I still have trust issues, but I am working through them.
>>576228959 Well, we have become very close again. She doesn't have very many friends, so I'm now her usual default when she wants to hang out/do something. We also went through a bitch of a time trying to become sexual with one another again. She just couldn't get aroused. Finally I figured what was needed was to remove all of my body hair and pick up some role playing skills. It works.
Trice, why the fuck isn't your doc atleast copied in reverse order: with the most recent things at the top of the page? It's a pain to scroll down and check for new material while on my phone, which is my only access to the interbutts.
I had a similar experience (13 and 19), except the girl ditched me and completely disregarded my feelings for her. After it ended, I had no interest in girls my age, I also developed trust issues, and had huge dating issues.
Yeah, the girl I was with DID purposely abandon me. Her roommate started to suspect shit so we split up for a while, but then she distanced herself from me and decided to get married to some other dude.
I was seven years old when I got molested. Both of my parents are always at work and sisters were off to college. Our "maid" let's call her Lilah is staying at our house since she works for us. She has dark hair and olive skin. Her breast size were C and she has dark button size nipples.
My cousin is staying over for the summer with his maid too (she's fucking ugly).
Every time Lilah says it's "nap time" she would sleep in the same bed as me.
After 20 minutes she would fall asleep. I don't know if she's doing it consciously or it's a sleeping habit but she would always tease my nipples. Afterwards she would slowly drag her hand down and stroke my tiny prick through my boxer shorts.
After awhile I would feel arouse and return the favor. I would tweak and pinch her nipples. She would always push my hand away and continue to play with me. All the while my cousin and his maid were sleeping on a nearby futon at least 5 feet from my bad. I was worried that one day that she'll get caught but nothing happened.
This would happen every day for 3 years until I had to move to the states. We didn't bother tagging her along because fuckit.
My cousin was fourteen when I was ten and would get a little sexual on me when she babysat me for my mother. It started with simple things like her complaining about feeling dirty after playing outside and washing her clothes in our washing machine, letting me see her in bra and panties, taking me and a couple of friends aside to show her breasts to us while we hung out (which she said was embarrassing for us and, at the time, it was) and moved on to taking baths with me when I hadn't "showered right".
I was brought up in a very conservative, hush hush house and my mother was a devout christian. This along with no cable television or internet access added up to me being pretty damn innocent while my cousin did this stuff with me.
The innocence eroded away with the first touch (an "accident" during one of our baths) and moved on to her "scrubbing" it thoroughly. I don't think I ever came from the experience but it was certainly a different feeling for me.
When I turned eleven, she moved on to more advanced things, telling me that big boys let girls touch them all the time and that I wasn't a big boy. I wanted nothing more than her favor and, thus, I let her touch me. It wasn't like I didn't like it, after all. We'd be nude around each other when she was the only grown-up in the house. It was around this time she started to push me against her pussy, saying that girls at school did it all the time with their boyfriends and so should I. Her approval was everything to me and, so, I started having sex before I even knew what it was.
Nowadays, she doesn't talk to me much and I can't seem to get my emotions straight about the situation. All I know is that I really enjoy the corruption of innocence in the young and have sought after older women since forever.
>>576243871 I understand, I used to be the same way. For what its worth, it helps. You don't have to share your story like I did, but writing it might be the best therapy there is.
>>576244709 I was never cool in school. But, I did have a sense that I didn't belong with these "kids" as I saw them. Also, I never bragged. I pretended I was a kissless virgin like the rest of them.
>>576244910 Oh my... Well, if you wish to share, feel free to do it here.
>>576245474 She can be, but she was much more controlling when she felt her life of out of her control. And of course I have regrets, but I have dealt with them.I have also been reacquainted with her after many years. And I have told no one else, other than as just another anon.
I keep this picture because it reminds me of a day that my cousin did stuff to my friend as a means of punishment for me not licking her when she wanted me to give her oral. Needless to say, at ten years old and having never seen a vagina before, I was nervous. She took us out to the park in our neighborhood in the middle of the day and played with my friend's dick with a stick because she didn't want to touch his foreskin and made him lick her in front of me.
I asked that friend, recently, if he remembered anything that my cousin had done to us and he said that he just lives with the knowledge that he "was getting pussy since he was ten". A crude way to look at it but, I guess, some people handle things differently than I do.
>>576251821 >>576251821 Dude, I've reading this for a while now, and man, how did you get over the emotional abuse you were put through? Damn son I can't even fap, also I like your writing style. Something tell me you are mostly an introvert.
When I was around four my older brother asked me to play "the kissing game" and he made me touch him and crap like that and I remember most of it and it went on for a year or so I thought it was normal so I did it with my cousin and my grandmothers neighbor once or twice (who are both female) and I still remember parts I have never brought it up but I'm sure they remember I joke about it with friends and I guess it's my way of coping
>>576253052 It took years, and I'm not totally out of the woods. But I'm better than where I was. I may seem all together here online, but I'm sort of a different story in person. And I was mostly introverted for a large portion of my life so far, only during the end of high school/college did I learn to truly come out and socialize more. I still tend to want to just haul up in a dark room with my computer, but I remind myself that when I actually get out there, I find I can have fun.
>>576251821 You've inspired me to put my childhood terrors on paper. My mother was a drug dealer. I used to think it was only pot but I would come to find out ten years later when I was 18, that it was more. She felt large amounts of meth, crack, and weed. I have memories of her selling and all of her pot friends as my most vivid first memories at the ages of 2 and 3. When I was 7, my older brother, being 18 at the time, stayed the summer in my grandma's trailer, with my mom, sister and I. He stayed in my room, hung up his bikini and pornographic posters, decorated with his lava lamps, and watched his stack of vhs anime porn. He had first exposed it to me a year earlier. One night, it was just him watching us. Grandma was always working and Mom was always getting strung out or baked at her friends appartments. He decided to watch porn in the living room since he was the only one around. He eventually ends up masturbating with both me and my sister in the room. He asked us to get naked and join him. I refused heavily. My 6 year old sister, not so much. I called my mom, he choked me and hung up. Told me if I ever told anyone, I would be in more trouble than him. I nodded, calling his bullshit. After sexual harassing me, and abusing my sister getting her to massage him with lotion to completion while he sat on the nice sofa chair and filled up a baby's bottle with his semen, my mother arrived. He had cleaned up by now. As soon as he went to bed about 5 minutes later, I told her everything. Every dirty last detail. In the morning I was greeted by two formally dressed police, both mid thirties. I, again, told the full and complete story, seems it must've taken 2 hours to retell every detail. They left with him, I don't even recall seeing him ever leave. The last thing I ever remember was him the prior night. He was gone. A year later, CPS, had custody of both my sister and I (not related to the prior event). My mother has reached far too many strikes on her record.
>>576254713 Cont... My sister and I were put into the foster system. She failed to pass all of her drug tests and failed to get a job, as the court had demanded. She fled. 6 months into our foster care, she was gone and we had no clue. Our grandma would show up to the bimonthly meetings. She ran into downtown DC, suicidal and homeless, slinging crack to stay alive. She was arrested nearly 1 month in.
My sister and I, a year and a half later, get adopted by a family in a nice neighborhood. I was ten, and she was 9. We wouldn't see our mother for 8 more years until our father's career would bring us back to the neighborhood that we had lived in when we were first adopted. My mom lives ten minutes away. I meet her and her husband with my mom and dad at the age of 18 in a nearby mexican restaurant. They've been married for 2 years. He was a mentor at the rehab facility she went to after jail. He's 13 years sober, and she's 7.
I'm 19 now, I've restored my relationship with my mother, moved out of my parents house, and I still live within 10 minutes of her. I love her and how much she's always loved us. Its taken me my whole life to forgive her, and it added so much depth to the meaning of forgiveness.
>>576256274 Not officially with anyone right now. I do have a pretty great fuck buddy though. If I had a lover who didn't know about any of this? I have... well, those relationships never lasted too long. I have too many hang ups I guess.
>>576257364 Same here, except that they were both my front door neighbors. One was my age (around 9/10) and the other was about 14/15. Still in contact with the younger one. Our parents have a good relationship (her parents are my sister's godparents). The older one i saw about 3 years ago at a party and haven't talked to her since, but she had a boyfriend at t he time.
>>576258378 I somewhat feel you anon. >tfw a manslut that just treats everyone as fuck buddies I really want a real relationship, but every person I'm with I can't get anymore feeling for them than just wanting to fuck, a bunch of people have even poured out their heart to me.
I feel like I don't want to leave this thread. It makes me feel open... I was having sexual encounters since the 2nd grade, it's weird just to memorize it since it all it was, was abunch of touching. But it changed when my mom met another guy (didn't know my father then) who had a daughter about two years older than me. (me 12, her 14). cont?
Well, the weird part is it was an Internet thing. I was a total nobody with no friends and we were actual friends, talking every day about everyday nonsense and personal problems. It was really comforting to have someone that actually listened to me and cared about me. Then when we had our pseudo-intimate encounters, I was even happier because I had discovered straight shota at age 11 and that was my fetish. Then, she got "caught," her roommate pressed the issue, we didn't talk for a while, and she avoided me despite my attempts to talk to her. Then, I heard through the grapevine that she not only had obtained a boyfriend, but he proposed to her and she accepted. I was crushed, sent her an e-mail pouring my heart out to her, and all she really had to say was that she didn't realize I really loved her, regretted our relationship, and apologized. I tried to keep in touch with her, but she took several strides to keep me at a distance.
"A full body massage is one of the most relaxing and reliving experiences one could ever ask for, especially when you were only seconds ago fearing Rectum Ragnarok was upon you" I laughed too hard at this point
>>576258941 (The fuck buddy is Rayne, keep reading to see the reunion updates.)
>>576259513 That wasn't exactly what I was getting at... but its applicable. I guess my past does make me sort of a manslut...
>>576259283 I still hate that asshole. Glad he went to jail.
>>576259827 No worries, I know what I'm getting into by posting here.
>>576259815 That really gets to me... I'm sorry for what happened. Though to be honest it sounded like the excuses she gave you at the end there were just meaningless words to distance herself from you and any responsibility. I would guess she was really into it at first, and got pressured out of it by society/peers. Still, might be worth writing about it, for your own sake.
It's not really that hot because it was an Internet thing. Also, thinking about it just makes me drink heavily and then try to use my Internet sleuth skills to locate her (which only makes me feel worse).
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