ITT: We work at 4chan inc.
Hey guys, someone keeps making dick pics in the photocopier!
that explains a lot haha
"Excuse me. I have 2 mozzarellas and 1 peperonni with extra bacon for the 4chan office. it will be 35,90. Than- why is everyone's pissing out off the window?"
Alright guys, I got the numbers from our last product investment. It didn't sell too well. I kind of wonder why.
I thought the basement was your department floor.
4 chan office memo:
We need someone to come help us on level 9. We just got another shipment of Moot's Jew gold and we need more people to help count it. We lost count over 9000.
Yeah Faggots, I'm gonna need you guys to stay behind to work on the Robert Paulson projects, also you will all need to come in on Saturdays and Sundays....Yeah that'll be great Cheers
what key do i press to hack
>Hi mooty, I don't think I will be able to make it to the office today, I'll explain everything later.
Guys I thought I told you guys to count to 10 before entering my office, WTF, can't a faggot fap to traps in peace or did you /b/tards failed basic math potato skills in kindergarten?
"herro evrrybudy, wood yoo liek too cee mah peenus?"
Guys I think there's a plane headed towards us.
Its probably just a bird tho.
Hey who the fuck let the skeletons out of /x/ again? I swear if I had to go inside that 2spoopy place one more time, I'm going to pull a Breivik Anders
We don't hire girls, we all know girls don't apply to 4chan inc. Also you better be white, non-fat, non-jew and be able to make excellent sandwiches in the breakroom while doing so naked
You fucking faggots. Which one of you took my sandwich from the refrigerator? I TOLD YOU THAT IT TAKES LIKE 30 MINUTES TO GET DESU-CHAN TO DIHORREA PERFECTLY EVEN ON THE FUCKING BREAD WITHOUT GETTING IT SOGGY. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? I just wanted to eat Desu-chan's excrement in peace for once in this fucking office. Next time some newfag steals it, I'm going to fucking cut my dick off and mail it to Dick Cheney.
HEY GUYS /MLP/ HERE IM GONNA NEED YOU TO SIGN A PACKAGE FOR THIS HERE ATOMIC BOMB. ITS A GIFT FROM THE /TOY/ DEPARTMENT.
everyone, i want you to meet my qt gf.
OOPS I GUESS IT'S /POL/'S PROBLEM NOW! HAHA
Everyone, Get in here!
Well actually from the looks of it, EVERYONE needs to come in for the Sexual Harassment video, Cooperate has a couple new heads now, they seem like they are all about social justice, some may even say they are warriors of social justice from the sounds of it.
Would all you ponies please stay in the /mlp/ basement? We really don't want to see you... or hear you... or smell you...
We gave you your own department after you started trashing the building, so be happy and stay there.
"Hey guys, look at this sock I found in Lenny's trash can!"
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the MBA school, and I’ve been involved in numerous high profile clientele and businesses around the globe, and I have over 300 confirmed investments. I am trained in marketing, accounting, human resources, advertising and I’m the top sales in the entire 4chan Inc. You are nothing to me but just another paper pusher. I will wipe you the fuck out with dexterity the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over company email? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of IT guys in the basement of our building and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, faggot. The storm that see your pathetic life get fired and banned from this company. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can fire you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my fingertips. Not only am I extensively trained in master of senior multinational business management, but I have access to the entire user database of the internets and I will use it to its full extent to make your miserable ass off the face of the building, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead and fired, kiddo.
Have you any better ideas?
Connect One is a insta-classic and easy to play, assuring fun for future generations.
You all should better help me sharpen sticks and stuff to prepare against the coming vampire apocalypse, gaiz!!!!
*sits in the kitchen and sharpens sticks"
Hope this helps!
I think somebody set us up the bomb. Don't worry, I'll call in the low orbit ion cannon to get rid of them. Nothing really lost if /mlp kinda dies off anyways
Guys some guy dressed as grimace keeps trying to sell me drugs. Where's security at?
Where's my paycheck you nigger
>dunno, what's your name
Fucking government spies and shit trying to steal my identity and shit. fuck you man, i'm anonymous you're not getting my info just to dox it on the bulletin board fuck off to reddit faggot.
I need some time off today, so I can find my Jimmies.
Are you fucking new?
Purp mane always on deck, sippin' hard, trappin' harder.
the fuck? you're anonymous? I'm anonymous too, fuckin payroll better not make mistakes and switch those checks...also wtf is it with Heaven getting paid better than the rest of us? I say we go postal and kill that Heaven guy
but I don't want to and am pissed, what's wrong with that?
Some big purple fuck is trying to give drugs to a worker, but he won't accept. Can you rough up that worker for me? Give him a shot of morphine after.
Ummm.... Hi guys. My name is Gary and I just got transfered from /wsg/ due to down sizing. Not going to lie... I've kind of heard things about this department......ummm... is there like a child friendly side to /b/ that maybe I can assist? Thanks.
Also what's up with the management in this place, they keep suppressing our rights and lock us out of the company, this CEO moot, does he even know how to manage 4chan inc.? I've never seen him around why is he still on the company payroll?
Hey guys... /v/ sent us a photo taken by the night watch... They say it's in the vents...
we need some team shirts any ideas
brb 10th smoke break
Good to be at work...
I can't wait until "Bring Your Daughter To Work" day.
oh shit guys, I think I heard something...It's that Chris Hanson guy from the Dateline partyvan across the street, I mean that van has been parked there for weeks now
No... This was a picture sent a few minutes ago.
Noooooo you fool! Grimace was not at fault! Fuck this is going get more shit coverage from the media that nude leak
Spiderman keeps coming in and trying to take over.
What am I taking care of?
>all /b/ is
It snapped the cable and now /x/ monsters are fucking up their department. I think half of security is dead. Welp, you guys been in worse. So hop to it, your pay check counts on it.
The new robot infestation. /co/ already made comics to cheer you up.
.....shouldn't all threads be legal by default?? Or you referring to the guy trying to make me sit on his lap?
......wwwwhhhhyyy is security Russian?
I've been here for five minutes and have no idea what is going on. /wsg/ was way more organized.
Jesus Christ, for the last fucking time /k/, bayonets don't solve everything. We've already lt go of Dan today, get this this handled before I reassign WT Snacks to mod your department
On it SIR
*Rushes off with shillelagh and assault rifle to handle skeletons and robots*
Security is half Russians half Irish
BAYONETS SOLVE EVERYTHING
This door wil accompany you... Mr Shit, was it?
*Attaches rifle to bayonet*
The recoil will pull it out, I believe in you, you are an hero.
*glances at the door*
I breach those so often, I don't know if I trust it to hold up
You know stuff about this /b/ place. How do I get a desk around here? I need a place for my stapler and dog pictures. Also how do I get an assignment here? Who do I report to around here? Group leader? The damn janitors? Or do I need to ascend a golden stairway to heaven? Who is manag...... HOLY SHIT THAT >>575906195
GUYS ....P...PENIS IS OUT!!!
much better thanks
Everyone starts with a stool, and a noose. If you last here a week straight without hanging yourself, you're promoted to newest fag. Then you get a touch down space, with no chair.
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>being newer than person being called >"New"
hey guyz what our meme stock up to today
Stool and a noose!?!? No chair with a space!? That isn't even fuc-..... I mean that is not possible!
That is a huge tattoo.... but shouldn't you be wearing a shirt? With.... a collar?
Hey guys! check out this Jennifer Lawrence nude-
unlimited child porn uploads, from my cubicle neighbor's desk.
Great job anon. Your promotion is pending
sorry that was me. just printed 42,000 copies of this photo for a research project im doing. talk to the mods if you got a problem you need ignored.
A collar? At 4chan Inc.? That shit leads to fedoras and neckbeards, keep it classy and keep it unbuttoned. Plus I got Slim's name across my chest.
So this is where all the stench is coming from...
I'm from the /k/ department, we send all the women to the kitchen and the bedroom.
Sure do. This is your new salary
>does not know 4chan is a rack of servers run by a Jew with no employees
Hey guys uh. . . A mass of people from /mu/ won't stop yelling "Jenny Death When?!" how should I handle this? Tried asking for peace but they keep yelling "Responsibility's cool but there is more things to life! Like getting your dick rode all fucking night!" I don't know what do guys!
/k/ to the rescue!
H-hey guys... /pol/ here... Did... did you fire David Shecklestein yet?
YOU SIR ARE UNDER ARREST
Hey guys, can I get a job? Sorry about the clogged toilets, by the way.
We all know 4chan is a single hacker, not a group of people
How about GUNS?
You'll keep this quiet you hear me? This is the internet, nothing goes public!
Sure am! Watch this! *gets on computer* *accidentally searched lolita on imagefap*
Uh... guys...? Whoops.
Heaven had me locked in his basement.
Uh oh, the manager always shows up when children are involved.
I'll show you your final form