>>575732428 I'm actually good, although feels are still here. Talking to a girl who is really into me so I'm happy. Tired as shit though so OP might sign off without warning. I just wanted everyone who feels like I do to have a thread. I've done this a few times with good results although I won't be able to talk much in account of falling asleep. Figured I'd make the thread for you guys.
>>575732709 This always hits me. I used to have a friend on steam, years ago. Always played counter strike with. Always complained about his shitty family and talked about suicide sometimes. Last online - 2018 days ago. I don't know what happened.
My hours are cut at work and im broke. My few friends dont want to hang out or even play xbox. Stressed out as fuck and trying not to get drunk. Long boring weekend but at least I got /b/ and good weed.
Most of this stuff is so weak. I get the sad stuff about parents and old people and stuff, but shit like >>575735642 and >>575732574 sounds just like whiney 14 year old emo kids who think their problems are serious business.
Want to know something /b/, it doesn't matter. In the end it doesn't matter, the universe is going to be nothing; just black, pure, solid, impenetrable black. We're here sulking but we end up in the ground anyways, so take in what you have because everything will be nothing but nothing will be lost.
>>575736763 thats my fear. I'm not particualrly afraid of the idea of being deas but i have a fear of being burried after I die. I also fear being creamated after I die. My goal is to be able to afford an abouve ground tomb like a small mosuleum or something and they can just leave my body there
No job, live with my parents, friends all work so they can't hang out, can't get a job or move out or my dad loses his AARP for food. He retires in 5 months though. 5 more months of sitting on my ass watching the world move on without me.
>>575738393 I'm kinda blah but I don't thin so. >>575738549 >>575738549 That doesn't make me feel better that usualy comes after being dead and being dead means i get burried. So until I cna secure my tomb so that im not burried or cremated, this doesn't make me feel good at all. >>575738825 I a lot of cases it's chemical unbalancingI was baker acted about amonth ago and now i'm on meds haven't wanted to kill myself in maybe about 2 weeks. shit is working slowly but surely
>>575739547 a psyche eval is only about 200 usd nd it might help. she may need therapy or maybe meds maybe a combo but you'll never know and i don't want to scare you but people become desparate when they're depressed and despreate ppl do desperste htings so don't take a chance if you can avoid taking it.>>575739873 This is a sweet thing of you to say. thank you
>>575740392 i mean i don't really have the authority to put her in therapy. but i know what your trying to say. she's told me that she has wanted to kill her self. she even told me she was reading a book about a person that wants to commit suicide and told me she could really relate to it. how the fuck am i supposed to respond to that. it sucks.
>>575740924 talk about it. not why but just bringing up suicide lowers the rsk of her commiting suicide but offer she may be up for the help pay for the eval at the very least she might get a nice Rx out of it
>>575732709 i've got a friend kind of like this he was my first friend when i joined tf2 he was such a bro i never learned of something happening hopefully he just stopped playing i hope he's out there
>>575741473 i know this sounds fucked up. but i told her a made up a story about how i tried to kill myself but wasn't successful. and how happy i was to be alive now... it kinda worked too. i was scared i didn't know how else to handle it when she told me she wanted to kill herself. was that wrong?
>>575741902 Well morally it was wrong since you lied. You in a sense based a part of your relationship on a lie. You made her feel like she could connect to a part of you that doesn't exist. Really all she could be looking for is someone who understands, and it's impossible for someone who hasn't been in her shoes to understand. I don't want to come off like I think you're not right for her, but keep what I just said in mind. Are the reasons you're holding on to her worth more than the reasons she's holding on to you?
>>575741902 not all the point s that hse talks about it. because when she stops talking thats when she takes action. I have a friend who is absolutely livid with his ex fiance. she killed herself back in march he's so fucked up from finding her. what ever it takes to keep you from reliving his nightmare. By staving off your own nightmare you may in turn save her from her nightmare too. most people dont kill themselves because they want to die. they kill themselves to get away from a certain pain. i strongly suggest a psych eval
>>575742114 I really wish I could say or do something to make all the depressed people happy, but it's simply not possible.
It sucks anon, but it's up to you to pick yourself and change your life for the better, your fucking dick size isn't everything. There's so much happiness that you can find from doing the most trivial shit.
As one depressed dude to another, there's nothing anyone else can do for us, it's on us to make the changes. I'm just scared of the of day where I'm tired and no longer feel like trying..
It sucks, cause I used to be full of life, not a care in the world. But since I've aged and seen so many people go on to live happy lives with bf/gf's. It makes me feel lonelier than ever. I sometimes get my old personality back funny/talkative but I can't commit to a girl knowing the humiliation. I'm pretty sure there's a money pull in my family going on betting whether or not I'm gay.
>>575742283 fuck man, your right. Well i mean i have wanted to kill myself. but like most people i haven't actually tried. so i could relate in a sense. but your right about i don't have many reasons for holding onto her. But i just don't know. i don't have a reason to stick around but i don't want to leave either. she keeps asking me why i stick around or why I'm so nice to her because i guess she's not used to someone like me. i never have an answer. i just tell her its because i love her.
>>575743220 Just be honest with yourself. Be honest with her. But don't keep lying or pretending you're something that you're not because that'll just dig a really big hole my friend, and the only way out of it is with someone getting hurt.
>>575743510 Only with a heavy amount of alcohol and really good cry-threads and a hefty amount of cry-videos am I able to feel enough to actually cry. While I can nod to a post and feel with it, I'm so tired I don't really have the energy to feel. I deal with general chronic anxiety and panic attacks all day, every day, I simply don't have anything left for compassions and connecting. Except when drunk as fuck, then I can bawl my eyes out.
I get pissed when people complain over the smallest things. It feels like i've been through it all. The feeling of being done with everything and everyone on this planet. You just want it to end. You want this feeling to go away. You just want to die. No one else understands this type of mentality because everyone else is too busy being happy and care free while you worry about things. Every second that goes by, you think of nothing but ways you can die. How you can kill everything you tried to love and care for in your life. Every.Single.Day. It'll eventually get to the point where you'll care about nothing. You'll want to be left alone at all times. You try to fight for your mentality back but can't. You get fustrated. You get angry. You get arrogant and become selfish not only to the people you once knew but to yourself as well. You begin to drown... and you hope no one comes to rescue you.
>>575743581 i am always 100% honest with her. well.. except for what i just explained. i didn't know what else to say. your right if i keep lying its going to end up backfiring and its going to hurt her more then it helped her. Thanks man i appreciate it.
>>575744203 I know how that goes. I've been through quite a lot. I won't try to list all the crappy things that's happened in my life but it got to the point where I just couldn't care anymore. I had to stop caring or it would've driven me insane. I finally kinda got back to normal. It doesn't hurt whenever I look back on the past anymore, but now I kinda realize how pathetic my life is. It's not even that bad anymore. It's a lot better than it used to be. But there's just not a whole lot of good things going on in general. Whenever a situation comes up that might have a good outcome, it seems to always take a turn for the worst.
>>575745138 Uhhh well I literally just farted and it felt pretty nice. I can hear my mom snoring and she's pretty fuckin loud. My xbox is still playing Destiny but my controller turned off maybe an hour ago. I have a tab open on /x/ because they sometimes have decent conversations on there. Other than that I'm just layin in bed wasting some time.
>>575745205 Well, whatever you do and wherever life takes you, just remember that you're never alone. There's over 7 billion people in the world. There are plenty of them who feel the exact same way you do.
Just what I needed. I don't even know if anyone will read, but if you guys like sad love stories, here's mine.
>be 16 year old me, some years ago >always in depression since I was 13 >be in a facebook group full of misfits and assholes, all with fake accounts >we steal pages, fuck with people, to make it short, we pathetically take our frustration out on normalfags through the internet >one day, we make it really big and we steal a huge facebook page full of the most narcissistic and egocentric cunts >this page quickly became some kind of underground place-to-be, for egocentric cunts, supportive misfits, and other people admiring the mayhem. >one day, a very smart, nice and beautiful girl noticed one of those asshole admins. he could come up with some damn good sentences and everyone feared this rebellious keyboard warrior >this asshole is me (Never said I was proud) >long story short, she manages to hang with me and the guys and talks to everyone about me, because she's too scared and shy to approach me >one day, we finally talk >that was the best evening I had in a long time, this girl was so damn smart and out my league. she read Rimbaud, Victor Hugo, all sorts of very good authors, she listened to the coolest music, her mind was so unique and weird in a good way. And holy cow, was she beautiful. A real model. Who cared if she lived 800km away from me? >we spent the whole summer talking to each other every evening and it was awesome. >I would wait everyday for the evening to come so we could talk, I even took naps regularly so the time would go by faster. >we were getting along like I never got along with anyone, it was like we were one person's mind cut in half and happy to reunite everytime we spoke. >depression disappears a little more everyday
Writing the next part, I don't care if anyone's interested, it helps me.
>Working since i was 14 >Want to meet friends from Online >FF 6 years finally get to Toronto >Stay with a friend for first couple weeks to get used to it all >Kicks me out due to a small miss understanding >Call up all my friends (who i had met multiple times by this time) asking for a place to crash for just a day or two >Every single one blows me off with some form of excuse >Homeless in a new city for 4 weeks >Considered suicide multiple times (my life long dream had just been crushed into oblivion) >Friend of a friend offers me free rent for the whole summer, essentially saved my life although she doesnt know it >Suicide is still a daily thought, keep putting it back in hope of another miracle
>>575742114 How does having a small dick make you lonely forever? Think about it man. Give it one clear thought.
I dont go to the bar with my dick hanging out. Not the café. Def not the kindergarden.
Nobody knows that you have a small dick until you're in bed.
What is the percentage of people having small dicks? I dont know, but for the sake of the argument, let's say 1%.
Now this affects everyone in the world equally. No matter how smart, athletic, rich or funny. 1%. So, how many celebrities are there in the world? Playing football, doing tv-shows etc. Some of those have small dicks. All of them get laid. have someone.
How many women have small tits and ugly looking pussies? Would you seriously care? In bed?
You cannot say that you will be lonely because of your dick size alone. You will be lonely, because you think so. You will be lonely because you wear that insecurity on the outside.
Now this is the hard part, you hide that. You forget about that size. You go out there, you be one of the crowd, and you dance with the crowd, you sing with the crowd, you go home with the crowd and you fuck the crowd. If there is 1000 people out having fun in your city, some of them has got a smaller dick than you. They still get out there.
>>575729394 >Everyday I feel my sanity slipping >PTSD and other mental conditions have built up into me hating to leave my house for any reason >I can't hold a job or stay in one place more than a few months >Can shoot like a sniper and strip and clean most small arms in the world >Can also survive off the grid using nothing but a knife and some shoelaces >I know how to kill a man in over a hundred ways but I don't know how to live life legally >Every day is a struggle to say no to my inner thoughts and not give in to violence again
Well, when the stress and clinical depression become too much, I figure I'll dig up my old rifle and pop a few pigs and other shitty elements of society before I die. Frein won't have shit on me
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