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ITT" Shit you think only you do. > have a shit ton of

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 301
Thread images: 33

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ITT" Shit you think only you do.

> have a shit ton of steam games but always end up playing online flash games
> eat salt as a snack
> go on phases for weeks at a time of either binge drinking and eating pizza, or working out every day and eating healthy as fuck
> pluck chin hairs
> act really weird around other people in my apartment so they avoid me
> make myself sneeze with random objects
> have an intense fear of bugs while sleeping at night
> if i dont want to clean dishes i put them in the freezer until i feel like cleaning them
> play the same tv shows over and over so there is no silence. can never decide on music
> sometimes i need to touch things 8 times, or i think i will die in my sleep
> i do puzzles
> if i watch a tv show or movie and like it a lot, i adopt the personality of the main character for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks
> look at myself in the way I think others see me
> I warn people to avoid bears.
>>
>>573157070
>if i dont want to clean dishes i put them in the freezer until i feel like cleaning them
are you retarded?
>>
>>573157070
>fap and then cum all over the floor
>never clean it up, room smellls like cum forever
>>
>>573157425
Makes my kitchen not smell like shit.
>>
>>573157070
>shit you think only you do
>I do puzzles

Yeah cause the puzzle industry doesn't actually have a market. You're their only customer
>>
>>573157562
thats icky
>>
>>573157606
just don't soak the plates in a pool of water and it won't smell you fucking idiot. eat your plates clean and let them dry, weeks without smelling anything.
>>
>>573157764
No.
>>
>>573157070
Yeah, you're a fuckin creep. You need help faggot.
>>
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>>573157070
>if i watch a tv show or movie and like it a lot, i adopt the personality of the main character for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks
> I warn people to avoid bears.
You sound like a pretty cool guy eh?
>>
whenever I said "I swear", I lied
>>
spread my ass when I'm taking shit to not make nasty noises with my anus.
>>
>>573157927
Thanks, Lori.
>>
>>573157884
you do realize you're putting effort into preventing something by putting something in another environment, which would already be prevented by doing absolutely nothing.
>>
I would smoke a ton of weed and masturbate to photoshopped hardcore fakes I made of girls I know personally.
>>
>Masturbating
>About to cum
>grasp my dick has hard as possible
>grab it so hard that no cum goes out
I only cum when fucking.
>>
>>573158053

YES THIS HOLY SHIT

also it serves to limit the amount of shit that gets stuck around the asshole, so it makes wiping faster
>>
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>>573158130
You're welcome!
>>
>>573158294
I'm not alone
>>
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>>573157070
>I skip over long boring bits in shows
>generally during dialogue
>mfw people went apeshit watching breaking bad with me
>>
>>573157070
>> eat salt as a snack

I thought I was the only one.
>>
>>573158292
This, but recently stopped unless I'm in bed or something.
>>
>>573157070
sometimes i get flashbacks. whenever I do, i start talking out loud to nobody. I mostly tell him or myself to shut up.
>>
>>573158503
>not letting other people enjoy a show when you are a moron with ADHD
get out
>>
>>573157070
i steal personalitys from tv characters, too. I just love doing that.
>>
Extremely constipated so I have to put a finger or two up my ass to help with shitting. Can't go without doing this anymore, fml
>>
>>573158880
Are you autist or aspie?
>>
>>573157070
I don't like stepping on the lines in the sidewalk and avoid it whenever possible
>inb4 I'm a grown ass man.
>>
>>573158294
lol, and also put some paper in the water to not leave shit trace in the toilet.
>>
>>573157070
>anytime i hear the city name mumbai i have to repeat it back in a loud and ethnic voice
>when i put on my seat belt, i touch the tip of the buckle to my top right thigh before putting it in the female
>after i go camping i return the sloppily rolled up tent to walmart for a brand new one
>>
>>573158575
i do this too. never had a problem with it until i started living with my gf.
>>
am I the only one? picking my nose with one hand and wiping it over her back while I'm pulling her hair and fuckin her ass from behind. it just gives be a feeling of power over the bitch
>>
>peers ALL over public washrooms
>>
>>573158421
finally someone else. i never understood the whole "i get poo on my cheeks". always thought everyone spreads their ass cheeks a lot to poop
>>
>>573159285
Pee*
>>
>still playing oldschool runescape
>>
>>573157070
please someone tell me I´m not the only one:
>when I´m done peeing I wipe my dick with finished toiletpaper rolls, you know when just the round carton is left
>>
>>573158880
>>573158968
are you? because this is a common physical aid to a medical condition. i literally dig shit out of my anus whenever i'm constipated. it helps.
>>
>>573157070
I am speechless for the amount of what-the-fuckary that was laid before me.
>>
>>573157070
Poo in the shower then force the poo down with my fingers through the drain quickly before my mum comes in after smelling it

10 years, have never been caught.
>>
>>573157070
pasta is stale
>>
>>573157070
> eat my snot while masturbating (tried it once during having sex...maaan)
> eat every lose skin part of my body
> eat my zits
> piss races with the toilet (from previous threads I know that many of you actually do that as well)
> do animal sounds now and then
> masturbate after drinking some amount of water and before I take a shit
> touch various surfaces with fingers
> smell and eat my toe nails
> stick various objects in my beard

i am sure that there's a lot more
>>
>play Shogi
>>
>>573159408
You are truly alone, you sick bastard
>>
I spit where I piss.
I don't know why I like doing it.
>>
>>573159408
holy fucking shit i do that too
>>
>>573159523
the fuck nigger?
>>
>>573159494
Every autist/aspie i know is constipated.
>>
>>573157070
make bacon and throw it out
>>
>>573158292
I used to do this but I have a cumrag now
>>
>>573159649
YESSSS
>>
>>573158053

You're not alone at all. I do that, too.

>pretend playing piano with my fingers while arms hanging down
>>
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>>573159687
just because all foxes are animals doesn't mean all animals are foxes you dense motherfucker
>>
>>573157070
>> pluck chin hairs
You asian?
>>
>>573157070
>fap with a speedo hat
>roll it with a towel
>add saliva or glue
>>
>>573158575
I am schitzo-effective, so I have to try to ignore those weird fucking noises
>>
>>573159859
You're right. I'm sorry.
>>
Walk like a knight in chess (making an L) on floor that is made of tile
>>
>masturbate sitting on toilet seat, but facing the wall
>>
>>573159751
i absolutley will not do it if theres single sheet of tp on it. that idea makes me sick to my stomach. i love the feel of the smoothness
>>
>>573158053
Yes

I can't sleep unless I have a fan going even in the dead of winter
>>
>>573159494
I do that too dude
>>
>>573159973
damnit. I do too
>>
>>573158294
>>573158053
>my niggas.jpg
actually a lifehack
>>
>>573159523
The hell is wrong with you nigger?
>>
>stick a finger in my bum
>>
>>573159536
piss races?
>>
>>573160026
hm never faced that situation but I dont think I would care
>>
>>573160002
I'm glad I visualised this.
>>
>>573158880
Oh god I used to do that when I was a teenager I thought I would die workout knowing anyone else like me
>>
>>573157070
sage cancerous faggots
>>
I have humiliation audio bits on my phone that I listen to while I'm out and about. Just the audio from regular humiliation POV vids. I'm not getting horny or anything when I'm outside, it just really calms me down
>>
>>573157070
>> if i watch a tv show or movie and like it a lot, i adopt the personality of the main character for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks
Congrats, you described everyone with Borderline personality disorder.
>>
>>573159697
Kill yourself for this heresy
>>
>>573160247
Yeah. You start pissing and a few seconds after that you flush. The idea is to finish peeing Before the toilet does its flush. Sometimes I win, sometimes I don't (usually when I'm drunk).

Talking about toilets. Every time I pee or take a shit in a new one, I take a picture of it. Dunno why. I have an archive of photos.
>>
anyone else put the toiletpaper roll above the pennis, to not touch the toilet with the pennis while taking shit?
>>
I strech open my bumhole and expose my poo to the air while its still in my ass. then I wait till it solidifies and try to take out any clean nugget if its free, but if its a solid log, i'll just poop it all out nice and clean.
>>
>>573159523
i may have done this 2 or 3 times.....
>>
>>573160256

believer me you would
>>
>>573160512
no but this:
> when I poop I pull my shorts down then push my dick o my ass, puill shots up so its tucked in. now i can sit on my shorts and don´t have to sit on the cold toilet seat AND don´t pee my pants.
>>
>count every syllable in a movie's subtitles blink for each syllable, no blinking if there's no speaking character
>re-work and re-think everything i'm going to say so that the amount of syllables add up to a multiple of four or end up as an even number
>count how many seconds i last while fapping
>decline the opportunity to touch a girl's boobs because moralfag
>not watch GoT
>>
I literally squeeze the last few drops of piss out my dick, as if i was squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out, and dab it with tissue to make sure I get no piss on my boxers.
>>
>>573159647

Same.
>>
>>573159408
also do this when there is no paper left/
>>
>>573160079

Until you get fissures.
>>
>>573160632
Thank god
>>
>>573157070
>When walking up or down stairs, I count the number of stairs, in my head or out loud.

Don't know where it comes from, always do this shit
>>
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On my days off, I like to dress up in my suit and tie and go to different business buildings in my metro area and walk inside different offices and pretend I work there. I usually just dick around in the break room, sit in empty conference rooms and play on my phone or laptop if I bring it with me, or walk around aimlessly but with purpose. If I ever get stopped or questioned I just say that I'm Dave Davidson from the CP department. If they push for more info I exclaim that I'm really busy and rush off. Haven't been kicked out once, but there have been a few close calls and I've gotten good at it to the point where I can sense immediately when my cover's blown. I've been doing this a few times a month for about 4 years now.
>>
>>573159647
Me too. Makes me feel like a man.
>>
>>573160317
>>573159494

/b/ros! I can die in peace now, knowing I'm not alone
>>
>>573159647
I do too
>>
>>573157070

ive read this a fucknig thousand times, stale copypasta is stale
>>
>>573159408
>After peeing, I usually hold my dick over the sink to wash the stinky piss off, but my dick is too small, so i use a finished toilet roll as a kind of hose to help the water reach my dick.
>>
>>573160496
So I also piss race, but start peeing long before the flush and end after. Maybe I have long pisses.
>>
>>573157606
just rinse them which takes 10 seconds
then you can leave them for however long you want
>>
Every few weeks I sit silently while pooping and think about all the other people pooping along at the exact same moment around the globe. For some it's the first shit of the day and they are still kinda dizzy from sleeping. Others are vegetarians and shit a lot more I heard, like 300g in one go. Amazing! Some are in a great hurry and press it out violently! Maybe a young child wich takes a break from homework by going to the shitter, maybe somebody dodging office work. About half of them will be female! Some of them constipated and in great pain! Maybe one of them is shitting in the wild for the first time in his life. And all those fates and lifes flash into my mind and for the first time in days I feel loved again. Like I'm part of this mankind, that, however different, still shits together. I think back to the last shit of napoleon before waterloo! His first shit on St. Helena! I suddenly feel connected to friends I was annoyed of in the morning. All this love and wisdom rushes through my whole being and leaves me through my anus. I feel ready to tackle the challenges of the day again.
>>
>>573161265
I am convinced, you are the only one
>>
>>573158249
nice

fapping while high is awesome
>>
>>573158880
If your a gril you can stick your fingers in your pussy and push the entire shit out when you are having trouble doing it the hard way
>>
>>573159384
What the fuck is wrong w/ you?
>>
>>573160927
>fissures
>An anal fissure is a tear or split in the lining of the anus (anal mucosa). Symptoms include pain when passing a bowel motion (poo) and bleeding from the anus.
OH so that's what's wrong with my ass. I thought I had hemorrhoids and was just ignoring it because I didn't want to have to show a doctor my bleeding butthole. Thanks anon.
>>
>>573158292
not good for your schlong bro
>>
>>573161286
Try pushing yourself to pee faster. This is actually a great exercise when you think of it. Like, if you have to pee somewhere outside and don't want to be noticed, you just do your job in 6 to 10 seconds.
>>
>>573157070

>i win

>i know no one else does this

>when walking up a flight of stairs i will always miss the last step, if i do step on it then it has to be with both feet before stepping up

inb4 ocd
>>
>>573161118
fucking boss, almost litterally
and on a rare occasion, ill send a message on my phone to some cunt using my dick, then after i sent it, wonder about how they dont know and what if they knew? and i basically just turkey slapped you and you didnt even know it
>>
>>573157070
>hold in my cum. like i just pinch my dick instead of having to deal with all the messy clean up
>>
>>573157562
I did that at my student house. The carpet had huge stains on it when I moved out and the landlord didn't notice.
>>
>>573158691
Why are you such a dick Heaven? Is your life so sad that you post in almost every thread? You're pathetic.
>>
>>573160543
Dude I do this too. I then dehydrate them and sometimes eat it with salt
>>
>>573158503
yeah I'd just never watch shows with you unless it was at someone else's house where you could be a dick and skip important parts.
>>
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>>573157070
> make myself sneeze with random objects

Holy shit, I do this all the time! Take the pointed end of a zip tie, hit that g-spot in your nose and BAM! Instant satisfying sneeze!
>>
>sometimes I gather a lot of saliva just to see how much I can acquire without swallowing it
>whenever I'm in a vehicle I image a little guy jumping through every obstacle
>if I find a song I really like I play it until I lose interest
>whenever I take a shit I come up with movie ideas and play it in my head
>whenever I see a door slightly open I imagine someone looking at me
>>
>if the phone isn't attached to a receiver, i have to start walking around objects while im on the line. makes ppl around me dizzy and irritated.
>chopsticks i break have to be even. if they're not, i drop them on the floor and ask for a new pair.
>if someone orders the same item at a restaurant as me, i have to change my order. consequently, when out at a restaurant with friends i select 3 or 4 orders, then order last and go with the best of those options.
>if im walking with one or two friends and we approach a pillar/pole, i try to subtly force them to pass on the same side. if they pass on opposite side, i go on the same side of the person i like more.
>try to make up abbreviations for every license plate i see.
>>
Every now and then I just feel like I need to get out and have some social interaction, but I have no friends so I just walk around the city streets all day and then go home.
>>
>>573160543
This is very common, just remember to collect the nuggets for a long time.
>>
>>573157070
top copypasta m8
>>
>>573159408
Wait, there are people who wire their dicks?
>>
>>573160543
Make a sculpture out of those nuggs you pull out of your ass. I did.
>>
>>573161873
*wipe
>>
>>573160678
Please explain this in more detail, I can't visualize it but would love to not sit on the toilet seat
>>
>>573161810
The little guy runs along next to the car and jumps over stuff? Used to do that shit as a kid.
>>
>>573161827
Been there
>>
>>573161990
hold on ill try to draw it on paint
>>
>fuck women
>>
>>573160543
Have you ever tried licking that shit?
>>
>>573161726
He needs attention
>>
>>573161761
me too, most of the time with paper towel
>>
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>>573157070
browse /b/ while clothed, shaved and not covered in lard
>>
Sometimes I flick the skin between my thumb and the nail so it gets hard, feels good for some reason.
>>
>>573161810
Oh my god I didn't think anyone else thought of the little guy in the car.
>>
Op has ocd, clearly
>>
>>573161810
wtf cunt are you me
>>
>>573159973
I've done this shit since I was 10 and first learnt to play, I thought it was only me hahaha
>>
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Why does everyone always talk shit about me... Isn't it obv who I am???
>>
>>573161726

Come at me, shitlord.
>>
>>573162269
nope
>>
I tie an elastic band round my balls (not tight) so they don't get stuck up in my body while im masturbating on the toilet.

captcha: from samnty

How it know.. how it know?
>>
>>573157649
top kek
>>
cumming, then taking my index finger,collect the cum and then put it in my ass
>>
>>573162013
I don't even buy anything from any shops, just wander around and try to look like I have a reason to be somewhere. Sometimes I will walk into a store and pretend I'm looking for something but they don't have it and I'll comment "damn" or shake my head and leave. I see other people alone and in my head I assess if they would be a good friend or not but I don't approach people because girls will probably think I'm being a sleaze and guys will probably think I'm gay or something. Usually I get a positive interaction like giving someone directions or helping an old lady or something so it kind of makes me feel better.
>>
>>573159161
>before putting it in the female
Okay
>>
>>573157070
>If I watch a tv show or movie and like it a lot I adopt the personality of the main character for a few days to a few weeks

Do this all the time.
>>
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Jack off then point Weiner at the shower head to induce a piss a clean the pipe.
>>
>>573161494
I've had one for two fucking years. It hasn't gone away even after going to the doctors.
>>
>>573159523
I have done this.
>>
>>573162638
I hear that.
>every time it's healing you end up taking another huge shit and it tears again
>>
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>>573157070
... you make me think about Abed, from Community.
>>
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>>573161990
as you can see, i tuck my dick in a manner that it points down into the toilet, thus parts of my thighs are coverd with my shorts. I sit on the toilet with the covered part and pop out of the exposed butthole
>>
>>573157070
I pee in the sink because I dont want to touch other peoples germs.
>>
>>573157070
> if i dont want to clean dishes i put them in the freezer until i feel like cleaning them
> if i watch a tv show or movie and like it a lot, i adopt the personality of the main character for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks
> I warn people to avoid bears.

Well'p, you should warn people to avoid you, because you're a certified fucking psychopath
>>
>>573162463
Instead of walking around the streets on your own go and sit in a bar or pub that you know's'gonna have a few regulars in it. Regulars are much more likely to talk to you than people in the street, and it's an interesting place to meet both men and women.

Anything's better than being on your own, go and make some friends Anon.
>>
>>573161746
>>573161851
>>573161948
>>573162089

No. I generally just hid it around the house when I was a kid and let it dry out. Now I smell it and try to mould it into a better shape without smushing it too much. Mostly a ball.
>>
>>573162463
Maybe you could give blood, that provides some interaction and they always go on at you about how special you are and shit for doing it
>>
>>573162359
Let me explain more. Basically when I masturbate my balls go stupid and either ride up or down opposite ways. Often they sort of nestle themselves in some sort of gap at the bottom of my dick. It feels like they get sucked into my body. Feels horrible and ruins my climax.

Elastic Band sorts that. Sometimes I forget to take it off and it pulls at my pubes all day and I don't notice. It often leaves a dark ring where its cutting into my skin.
>>
>>573162858
So basically you shit all over your balls, rather than fet a cold arse for a few seconds?
>>
I never use the toilet I always with the water off naked shit in the shower then I sit down and use my special shit chopping butter knife that I keep in my vanity drawer to cut it all up and dissect it, it's very interesting to find out which part of the shit is which meal because some things don't really digest fully, such as mushrooms, some beans, tomatoes, venlafaxine pills (this is how I can exactly tell which meal is which bit because I take my dose at exactly the same time each day) and I can work it out because sometimes there is no venlafaxine pills (they just look exactly the same except slightly yellow) in the shit that it takes normally longer than 24 hours for the food to go from your mouth to become shit, although it varies quite a lot and sometimes (because I take two pills a day) there will be 4 pills and then I know it took two days at least (constipation) and my record is 6 pills but that was when I was taking morphine so at least three days from mouth to ass which is quite a long time. Sometimes the shit is very very hard and it separates into little pellet balls which I think means I am dehydrated even though I drink tonnes of water and other times it is diahrea which means I'm sick. Then I become very paranoid about clooging the drain and someone finding what I am doing so that's why I then have to chop it up very very very fine and smush it with the knife then I dput the shower on still sitting down and do a gold panning sort of thing with the water so all the small bits slowly go down the drain leaving the larger ones to be chopped up by me. After all of that I then have a normal shower and scrub the floor and my body with antibacterial soap.
Sometimes if I have a very full belly I will go into the shower and do the same thing except make myself vomit, it really is amasing how much you can fit in your stomach
>>
>>573161857
Being serious here, is this actually considered pasta? Fist time i posted it was a year ago, i was drunk for pretty much 2 weeks straight. I guess i spammed the shit out of it from drunk boredom. today is the first time ive posted it in months
>>
>>573162869
The difference between Lace Irish and Shanty Irish?
Lace Irish move the dishes aside before they pee in the sink.
>>
>>573163103
i admit they´re quite close but it has never touched them, stil like an inch or two away, try it out.
>>
>>573159523
How disgusting are you?!

You people do realize that if the drain would ever become clogged (and with the amount of hair, soap and SHIT you're stuffing down it) you would have to call a plumber, right?

And the plumber is going to dismantle the pipe to figure out what's wrong
And stumble into 5 meters of shit-filled pipes
And he's going to pack his equipment, leave and you'll be left with an unfixable shower.
>>
>I run my thumb around the head of my penis,
>under the foreskin, then suck my thumb.
>>
>>573163245
.. I actually have down this. It's not bad, but I wouldn't recommend it.
>>
>>573157070
I eat human flesh
>>
>>573162858
You are fucking based bro trying this later today
>>
>>573162986
Yeah I sometimes do that too. But there's usually just groups of people talking and having fun and I'd feel weird interupting and just joining people who are an already established group and noone approaches me so I end up just sitting by myself.

Today I actually tried that. There was no more tables and another guy on his own came up and asked if he could sit at my table because all the others were taken. I said yeah sure, go ahead in a friendly tone and then he pulled the chair, turned it around and sat with his back to me.
>>
>>573163103
>>573163231
>>573163351
side view
>>
>>573163059
Yeah, I give blood regularly. Not so much for social reasons I just think it's a good thing to do because it really helps people who really need it.
>>
>18 & still have teddy bear whom I project certain thoughts/feelings through
>blame all my DVR recordings of anime & MLP on him
>spend copious amounts of time imagining myself as a girl
>write backwards
>can never allow my pencil sharpener to be completely empty, it MUST have a bit left in it
>refuse to be shirtless & wear glasses at the same time
>imagine having an otaku room & then remind myself I might not be into anime in a few years
>can see music
>obsessed w/ time
>work at a supermarket & enjoy bringing carts in
>am reserved until you provoke me, & then I don't shut up
>>
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>>573163469
forgot pic
>>
>>573162858
maybe im a moron but this just doesnt seem like it would work
how does the fabric stay north of your anus?
>>
>>573163059
most retarded reason ive heard to give blood in my life....
>>
>>573163564
your dick blocks it, thats why you tuck it, also your pee goes in the toilet not in the shorts.
see
>>573163559
>>
>>573162463
it's my bedtime anon so I'll bid you adieu; you sound like a nice person and I don't see why you wouldn't have friends besides social anxiety, so I hope you find it in you to come out of your shell soon, I think you'll be surprised at how likeable people would find you
>>
>I've been in a steady relationship with my gf for 1,5 years now, but when she's not around I either shove the biggest dildo I have up my ass (a 10" monster) or I call the biggest, burliest motherfucker I can find in my area to pound away at my poor asshole for hours.

True story, actually
>>
>>573163093
I guess I won this thread. Not as extreme as anyone else.. but regardless I win.
>>
>>573162529
Are you 12 or really just that retarded?
>>
>>573163352
I guess where you are is different to here, in London I can't sit down without some bloke asking me about my piercing or talking about the weather.
>>
>>573163242
>not fixing shit yourself
>>
>>573163612
Obviously not the best reason, but a possible stepping stone for someone with a bit of social anxiety don't you think?
>>
>>573159523
I.... Have also done this
>>
>>573157070
you are fucked up in the head
>>
>>573163736
I used to have lots of friends, but that was when I was doing lots of drugs and people from highschool and stuff. As I grew up I was more and more into drugs, mostly pot and stuff, but because I was doing that I lost some friends and then I decided to quit drugs and I had to stop being friends with my only remaining friends who were all stoners who would get me back into it. So now I'm just alone. I'm not socially anxious at all. It's just much harder to make friends in your late 20s.
>>
>>573163883

That's.. so very much beside the fucking point of 'don't shit in your shower' that I don't know where to begin.

>Implying yixing your own pipes twice a year because you insist on crapping in them is a permanent solution to a disgustion personality trait
>>
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>>573157070
>Intense fear of bugs while sleeping
My nigga.
>>
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>>573163564
X-ray POV, should be all clear now, shows how now skin to seat contact is achieved
>>
>>573163242
I moved house and doing it to a new house now lol. wate rwashes it away xD
>>
I wake up almost every day with a sinking feeling that I will need to fly on an airplane one day and im fucking petrified of it.

I need help. Its crushing me. My girlfriend says, you don't need to fly. I am like.. yeah but one day I will.

I bite my nails and grind my teeth all day because my day starts off with that fear.

Fuck.
>>
>>573163559
Just went to bathroom for a dry run, it does seem like it would work. Did you figure this out on your own? I have so many questions
>>
>>573164191

... Dammit, now I want to poop in my shower xD
>>
>>573157070
>sometimes i need to touch things 8 times, or i think i will die in my sleep
>>
>>573164296
yeah i figured it out cause i just hated sitting on the cold seat. I like it warm. it solved all my problems
>>
>>573164259
That's.. an oddly intense phobia. You should get help, buddy. Flying really, really isn't that big of a deal, but I realize not everyone gets that.

Get some pro help and relieve yourself of this fear. You deserve it.
>>
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>>573164134
Look guy I'm not a shower shit advocate or anything. I don't really have a dog in that fight. I poop in the toilet and wipe 3 times. Just saying fixing a clog isn't rocket science. But I suppose someone that smashes feces into their shower drain may not be adept enough to do that. So there's that.
>>
I buy a shitload of steam games that go on sale yet I only play the same 5 games.
>>
>>573164296
>>573164412
cont it works best with wide/big and or strechy shorts
>>
>>573163789
Yeah people are more likely to talk about you and take the piss here than talk to you and take the piss.

It's a shame because I can give and take the banter.
>>
>>573163016
You open your ass to dry the shit while it's still in your body.
You pull the shit out with your fingers.
You mould it into little balls.
Then you hide it in your house.

This isn't normal bro. Seek help from a psychologist.
>>
>>573157070

> go on phases for weeks at a time of either binge drinking and eating pizza, or working out every day and eating healthy as fuck

> if i watch a tv show or movie and like it a lot, i adopt the personality of the main character for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks

> look at myself in the way I think others see me

I'm ashamed of both


>I have a tic where I randomly need to stretch and cotnract certain bodyparts/muscles
>>
>>573164787
>>573163016
>Seek help from a psychologist.

Or a fucking prison, you disgusting nutcase.
>>
>>573164259
That reminds me of when I was a little kid about 10 or something I had a reoccurring dream I was in the car with my mother and she would just say "now you have to learn" and just dive out of the moving vehicle. Leaving me to have to take control and figure it all out on the fly. I would wake up with my heart beating and having a sweat.
>>
>>573160031
This
>>
>>573164161
I want to live in your world

>tfw you have changed one anon's shitting habits forever
>>
>>573165165
haha im glad i could help.
I got my friends started with it, too
>>
I take a shower after taking a shit just to wash my ass.
Therefore I only use tp to clean my ponos (piss and cum).
>>
>>573164470

I have flown a fair bit. Usually just getting drunk on the plane would fix any fears. I used to enjoy flying when I was a child. At one point I had a panic attack before getting on a plane. I figured it was a large 3 sets of seats plane, turned out to be a 2 row plane. Freaked out, hyperventing, only managed to get on the plane because my girlfriends face when I told her I would get a boat and meet her in a few days.

Last flight I took left my shaking for fucking days. Literally shaking, It wasn't a bad flight, just a little turbulence. It was 12 hours and I was gripping my chair tight the whole time. 12 hours is a long time to feel absolutely petrified, fearing any tiny dip or movement in the plane.

Shit, it makes me exhausted typing about it. Was a year ago.

Ive continued flying ever since being scared the first time. I figured thats how you deal with shit? be brave and face your fears?

Fucking reduced me to a quivering mess.
>>
>>573163891
yea, i suppose, i know im most likely going to be in his shoes one day, though i am extremely confident and way too flamboyant to be straight, i find people scary, i definetly never want to go to america for this exact reason
>>
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Grow mushrooms on my jizz rags.
>>
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>>573157070
ive seen this pasta like 6 times before fuck off faggot
>>
>I hate all non-white men
>>
>>573157562
Smell like bleach?
>>
Instead of cleaning up I eat my cum
>>
>I say "oops nearly fell over" sometimes when I'm walking even though I really didn't at all
>I spit into a sink every time I pass one
>I will write out replies to threads then after I've filled out the captcha I will just delete it before sending.

Used to do some other shit too but I ended up stopping doing those then moving onto other things
>>
>>573159536
you are disgusting
>>
>>573164297
yeah xd
>>573164394
thats ocd
>>
>>573165460
you won this thread
>>
>>573157070
i lie in bed and pick my nose and wipe the snot on the underside of my mattress. i also do it on the side of my car seat and the side of any couch ive ever had. no one ever notices.
>>
Smell zits/ ingrown hair pus
>>
>I like to cum on my walls
>I bite my tongue a lot on purpose because i enjoy the copious amounts of blood in my mouth
>I talk to myself
>I count to 10 as it helps relieve my deep intense anger
>I larp by myself
>I wrap my fingers in toilet and stick them up my ass to clean the shit
>I cut various types of food and items with my customised katana in my garage when I lose my temper
>>
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>>573163245
nhooh my god
>>
>>573165460
Do you smoke them?
>>
When i Fart i immediately get up and sniff my seat
>>
>>573165949
I can't lie. I sniff my cum too. I pretty much smell everything. Must be a word for it.
>>
>>573165841
yea, I know
>>
>>573164787
What the fuck!!!! That guy wins the thread
>>
>>573166453
i think its weird but this guy
>>573165460
even provided a picture and is not any less of a weirdo
>>
>>573157070
I will listen to the same song on repeat for two hours..
>>
>>573158053
>to not make nasty noises with my anus.
making noises with your anus while shitting is a thing?
>>
>>573164787
Holy fuck dude. You are the sickest motherfucker
>>
>>573166563
I love my ID
>>
>>573164787
You sick fuck
>>
>>573161118
that.....is.....incredible
>>
>>573166660
wtf is wrog with that ID?
>>
>>573164787
Dude
>>
>>573166737
Haha
>>
>>573158292
Same but after that i get toiletpaper and wipe it off.
>>
>>573160079
http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/fanNoiseGenerator.php

in case it is too cold one night
>>
>>573165103
I always have dreams that I'm driving or something and I can't control the car anymore and I wreck
>>
>>573158249

You clearly respect your friends. fucking imbecile cunt, stop smoking thatnigga drug and get a fucking life
>>
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>>573161379
Fucking hell.
>>
>>573157070
>pick my nose when nobody is around
>fap to cartoons
>hate having people at my place (but love being at friends homes)
>try to hide my dick from other guys in class in the wardrobe after gym by bringing the towel to the shower
>imagine myself famous
>pluck on my dry lip-skin

Cant think of more at the moment
>>
If I think my bf with go down on me, I put any kind of smelly cream on my butthole. Even deodorant.

I can only scratch an area 7 times.
>>
i feel like i have nice feet for a guy, so i'm always kind of playing with them without thinking about it, touching/tickling or rubbing them or whatever if I'm just sitting down or laying around
>>
>>573167148
Pics
>>
>>573159964
you mean schizoaffective? dumb cunt
>>
>>573159887
Did this everyday in jail with latex gloves and coco butter from the shop
>>
>>573160031
I just leave my windows open in winter
>>
>>573167318
too lazy right now i just got up
>>
i possession my nose so i smell a certain smell.

its like im smelling the inside of my nose almost, and its addicting.
>>
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>>573167117
Forgot this one:
>cum in bedwear, sleep in it for 2 weeks
>>
>>573158503
You are not alone. Fuck whiney Skylar.

I lick the back of my left hand wet, let that dry for a bit and then sniff up the smell . It calms me down
>>
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>>573167736
What?
Please post more
>>
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actually bought winzip
>>
>>573167845
>>
>>573161118
wish i had the time and suit to do this
>>
>>573157070
>> play the same tv shows over and over so there is no silence. can never decide on music
sounds like you need asmr
>>
/b/, full of normal people, specially >>573165460
>>
>I own a Guy Fawkes mask.
>not one of those shitty quality mass-produced ones
>it's hard resin and hand painted
>Nothing to do with Anonymous, I just really liked V for Vendetta.
>>
>>573168195
ASMR<3 do you know of Christen Noel?
>>
>>573168373
how much you paid for it?
>>
>>573167401
wow youre so smart and cool for knowing the right term
can i be your internet friend?
>>
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>>573157070
>listening to breakcore, speedcore, Extratone and lolicore.
>didn't see any person that listen to this generes.

Am i the only one who listen to this shit? (and even enjoy it??)
>>
>>573168403
nope but i do now. will check them out. my fav ones are
>heather feather
for general tingles
>gentlewhispering
for soft and exotic voice to sooth
>ephemeral rift
for when i want asmr and not want to fall asleep , just have asmr for the feel of it.
>massageasmr
basically for male version of heather. though i love his tibetan bowles
>donnaasmr
for heavy duty tingles
used to like thatasmrchick but her voice ended up getting to on my nerves. couldnt take the wet sounds she made every time she pronounced something like a p or a k
>>
>>573159973
Fucking this.
>>
>>573168603
i paid however much i paid for it
it aint none of your goddamn business
>>
>>573168603
Roughly £14/$23 (+ postage)

>>573168761
I.D.s are a thing
>>
>>573168403
just listened to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJnAWZO3IIk&list=UUkvg7ur8e_HBZTRDv7-RfjA . yep this is definately a sleepy time asmr holy shit that mic is intense
>>
>>573168691
I tried so hard to get into Some of them but I just couldn't. I like pigsbumasmr too, and a few others I can't remember the name of. Look Christen up. It's amazing.
>>
>>573168868
YES. I love her vids sooooooooo much
>>
>>573160002
>implying you aren't surrounded by walls
But this actually sounds comfortable
>>
>>573166596
It is if you don't take it up the ass on a regular basis.
>>
>>573158575
The story of my fucking life. I sometimes do it in public too.
>>
>>573161821
Holy shit I do both the restaurant and license plate thing!
>>
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When watching a gif I create the sounds of what I think the noise in the gif would be

This one is pure symphony
>>
>>573170186
"I'm the cook"
>>
I have music playing almost 24/7, the only time I don't have music on is when I'm watching something.
>>
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Also whenever I look at different breeds of dog I try to think what the previous incraments of that dog would have to be to create the dog I'm looking at

They all came from wolves, even pugs
>>
>>573157070


Masturbate in work using 4chan´s threads.

I´m doing it right now.
>>
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>>573170337
>>
>>573161810
Damm I never thought anyone else thought this, epically the little guy jumping over obstacles on the side of the road i always thought that was just me...
>>
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Without sounding too edgy, I also think about the different ways Humanity could die. Half the planet could just get incinerated from a stray comet, or when we create robots they will all turn on us like in I, Robot. I think about that way too much.
>>
>Be a TF2 trader
>>
cracking my knuckles before I can motivate myself to do anything. If I can't crack them, then I have to crack something else on my body or I can't move on with my day.
>>
>>573170710
number 3. I ruined so many songs for myself by listening to them non-stop
>>
>My brother and I make horse noises everytime we see each other (except in public)
>I pluck strange feeling hair on my head
>>
>>573157070
when a vitamin or pill says to take it with a meal, i eat half of the meal, then the pill, then the other half of the meal to sandwich the pill.
>>
>>573161810
I did the music thing with Daft Punk recently, got really into them and listened to the discography countless times- But I overdid it and now it's just asinine to me. Moved on to Justice.
>>
>>573159384
Me too bro

Tfw 89-91 fetching just today
>>
im completely straight but when im home alone i always lick and play with moms dildos and buttplugs while wearing her g strings
>>
>i try to find sentences whose number of letters are a multiple of 3, commas also count.

(Don)('td)(oth)(aty)(ouf)(agg)(otc)(unt)
>>
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>>573159536
Are you Richard Stallman?
>>
>>573157070
> pluck chin hairs
> play the same tv shows over and over so there is no silence. can never decide on music
I do these things.

>>573161810
>if I find a song I really like I play it until I lose interest
I hate that I do this, but I always do this

>Scrape plaque off my teeth, wipe it onto paper, and smell it.
>Pull out my eyelashes when anxious
>Have to have white noise when masturbating. I hate hearing myself make noises.
>>
>>573171079
you lick something your mom has already had in her ass?
congrats
>>
>>573171276
shes hot though
>>
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>>573159536
>eat every lose skin part of my body
>eat my zits

What the fuck is wrong with you?
>>
>>573157070
>eat salt as a snack
Amerilard detected
>>
>>573157070
lay in the garden and pretend i'm a carrot
>>
>>573162463
Walk up to people on the street and when approaching guys say "first off I'd like to state I'm not gay, I'm just new in town. and looking to meet new people"
and with women say that you are gay.
that way you can be assured that you won't be mistaken for being a sleez/fag in public.
And after a while of being friends you can tell them you have anxiety so the women you meet don't expect you to do gay shit.... or vice versa
>>
>>573157070
bundle up my fluffy blankets
get in spoon position
imagine it's my little sister
commence dry humping
cum buckets
>>
>>573171628
>walk up to woman
>"I'M NOT GAY, can I getcho number?"
Guaranteed to work
>>
>>573158503
fuck you
>>573158292
what
>>573159285
fuck you especially
>>
>>573170943
lol it doesnt work like that
Thread posts: 301
Thread images: 33


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