Weird sex things your parents caught you doing. >be me >8

then your mom comes in and offers you a handjob.

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>Be 13
>Beat off just about every night since getting a laptop at 12
>Wifi down at the house for a night
>Fuck
>Need Visual Stimulation
>3AM
>See sketch book
>Fuck it
>Sketch out several different pictures of sex
>beat off
>About a month later Mom is cleaning my room and finds said Sketch Book
>Evidently, tells my father
>He makes fun of me for it to this day
>Rightfully so

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Here's another

>be me
>18
>girlfriend comes over 11PM on July 3rd
>was leaving town for a week so we need to knock out a week's worth of sex
>girlfriend spends night
>wake up for goodbye/morning sex
>have girlfriend on her hands facing the floor while holding her legs up and fucking her
>dad walks in to wake me up and get ready to leave
>wut.jpeg
>dad so confused about what's going on he stands there for a bit
>have to tell him to leave
>girlfriend super embarrassed next time they talk

>>571593248

Oh, shit. I pretty sure I used to do this same thing when I was a kid.

Think it's the reason my dick curves down actually

>>571593891
Seriously, dude? Damn, are you a good drawer or were they stick figures or what?

>>571594067
Thinking back on it, it was such a weird thing to do. Then you discover fapping.

>>571594468
Such a great day when I finally figured out how that damn thing worked

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> be kindergarten age
> taking bath
> mom out of room
> timetofap.jpg
> noisy water
> going at it, almost done, usually finish in a minute or two
> mom comes in before I finish
> "anon what are you doing?!?!?!?!"
> i act dumb and do the figner walk with my hands going up from my dick to my chest
> "nothing mom"
> to this day, she probably knows

>>571595501
What the shit. In kindergarten?

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>>571595653
I've fapped for as long as I can remember. It wasn't sexual, it just felt really good. I still knew it wasn't something I was supposed to tell everyone about. I thought I invented something completely knew until me and my friends got older and actually learned what masturbation was.

>>571594067
>>571594468
I'm thinking about fapping (and actually finishing) by humping my bed. Haven't done it since I was a kid. Do you guys know if it could actually fracture my dick?

>>571595849
maybe. When you were younger you had a tiny dick so it was fine, but now if your dick is longer you might fracture it

>>571594061
I bet your dad totally tried this shit with your mom the next time they fucked

the reason he was standing there is because he was trying to figure out how you were pulling off that sweet ass move

>>571593248
>be me
>be 5
>doing the almost same thing as OP
>dad walks in
>sees me
>'Hey Son, why is your pee-pee getting big?'
>'Um, it does when it when I think of stuff'
>he laughs and exits the room
Damn, most embarassing thing when I was young

>>571596123
oh forgot story

>be 10 or 11 years old
>dad has this huge back massager
>like an old model or something
>anyways kid me playing with the massager
>figure out it feels good on gooch (inbetween ballsack and butthole)
>start kidnapping the massager when nobody is paying attention
>can orgasm just from having it on my gooch
>mom walks in one day and sees me with the massager on my junk
>"anon, thats not nice." she turns around and walks out
>super embarrassed, lucky for me my mom is really chill and never mentions it ever again
>still curious if my dad ever found out though

>>571596573
hell nope that is creepy as fuck guy

>>571596573
I bet your dad is a funny motherfucker

>>571597017
Indeed, but still this story will remain in my brain forever

>>571595849
See >>571596031

>>571596573
That's weird...

>>571596718
I feel like I would have done the same if I had something like that.

I masturbated a lot when young so I have a couple stories
1.
>don't remember this happening but there is a picture in the family photo album where I grinding into the corner of the couch
>pretty sure others must see what I am seeing but I am not sure so I do not ask

2
> sleptover at my friends house
>decide to play beanie babies
>usually games involve mating at some point I get horned up
> causally grind on a beanie baby
>friend asks what I'm doing
>nothing

3.
>age 13 now discover there is a hole in my body that feels nice to put things in
>whole new world of masturbation capabilities
>banging myself with a hair curler
> sister walks in I pull it out at the speed of light but am still on the floor with no bottoms looking guilty
> asks what I'm doing looking scared
>nothing

>>571597326
best part is
that back massager is still in this house

it might be time to visit ole goochfunz again

>Be 13
>at my dad's sleeping on couch
>having sex dream
>maybe dry humping couch
>wake up eventually
>my dad's sitting on the other end of couch

>>571594061
"dad, I think you need to leave"

>>571593248
rub my forehead against stairs carpet when i was 5

for no reason
cum out of my ears

i wasnt my parents but it was my sister.
>be me
>no lock on door
>about 8 months ago
>sexy handcuffs time with gf
>clothes still on
>about to cuff her to bed
>has on cuff on her hand
>sister walks in
>ohshit.jpg
>quickly try to hide cuffs
>stops dead in the middle of her sentence (she started speaking the moment she opened my door)
>slowly asks what we are doing
>we slowly reply nothing
>walks out
> get asked 2 days later by mom what the hell i was doing cuffing gf to bed
>i nearly killed my sister

I forgot my fleshlight in the bathroom once, didnt even masturbated i just brought it bc i was feeling like it lol, aaaand my mom found it

>>571593248
Mmmmm das real good. Let me get that SAUCE !!!!

>>571601126
Leanna Decker

>>571601371
Thanks, luv ya ;)

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TIME FOR AN URGENT STRAWPOLL

MEGA URGENT, CHECK IT NOW NIGGAS

http://strawpoll.me/2683478/r

>be 13
>living alone with mom who works
>home alone each afternoon after school
>plenty of time for personal indulgence
>drop pants
>put on headphones, turn up loud
>lay on bed
>close eyes
>start working my fingers
>do not hear mom coming home early
>do not hear mom yelling my name
>do not see mom standing in doorway, watching me with legs in in the air doing the shocker
>do discover her when she pulls off my headphones
Awkward.jpg
>she tells me to wash my hands thoroughly afterwards
>leaves
>mood killed
Started locking my door after that day!

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>>571594067
>>571593248
kinda same here too.

>be me
>5-9
>would always lie on ground and put pressure on my dick and swing legs back and forth
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>always did it to the point where i got bored or got tired and sweaty
>parents notice me doing this and know when I do it because I'm randomly sweaty or out of breath
>parents call it "The Leg Thing"

My dick is majorly curved to the left and I think its because of this.

>>571603693

same here xD

>>571598019
Are you a guy or girl? If guy, please be trap.

>Young.
>Real young.
>Not sure how old.
>under the bed licking my cousins' pussies. >Tastesgoodman.jpg
>parents burst in to get us for dinner
Their face when

>>571598019
And if grill does shoving something in your vagina feel similar to shoving something up your ass? Hoping I'm not missing out on anything.

>>571604529

Are they fat now?

>>571604593
As the vag is self lubricating and doesn't have a tight sphincter, it's easier to stuff things in there. But once you are in the sensations are not worlds apart.

Adam is that you?

>>571598907
keked