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guys, help a /b/ro out >be at a party >see a hot chick,

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 59
Thread images: 21

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guys, help a /b/ro out

>be at a party
>see a hot chick, easily 9/10
>approach her for small talk
>she starts flirting
>be like "it's a bit crowded, wanna go out?"
>we go outside to sit on the porch
>she asks what I think of her tattoo
>a pentagram on her shoulder
>"not really into the occult but looks cool"
>smiles and is like "I'm cold", obviously wants to make out
>wrap my arms around her
>slowly move down toward her ass
>"what are you doing"
>think of something to say
>"I think I dropped something"
>"dropped what?"
>"my ring"
>
>"you're married"
>"NO! it's just a ring"
>she gets up, doesn't believe me
>"ok ok but we're separated, divorce soon"
>she sits back down like "meh"
>end up bringing her to my place
>have some wild sex
[cont.]
>>
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>>571389485
>next morning
>"did you use a condom?"
>tfw not sure
>"I... I think so?"
>fastforward 3 months
>we went out a dozen or so times
>one morning, really early, she calls me
>"I'm pregnant"
>ohshit.jpg
>be like "ok, ok..."
>she hangs up suddenly
>how did I fuck up?!
>hours pass
>midnight, can't sleep
>phone rings
>it's her
>"I'm not pregnant"
>
>spontaneous abortion?
>"I had a miscarriage, that's why I hung up"
>I don't have the training for this
>"ok calm down, did you see a doctor?"
>she didn't
>claims it's ok and there's nothing wrong
>I know she's hiding something
[cont.]
>>
>>571389832
Wow what a butthole
>>
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>I ask her if she's sure
>immediately know I fucked up asking that
>"A DEAD BABY LEFT MY PUSSY IN PUBLIC"
>"MY ASS EXPLODED FROM THE PAIN"
>"I SHAT MY PANTS AND SCREAMED"
>"IN A BUS FULL OF PEOPLE"
>
>"ok ok ok I'm sorry it was a stupid question"
>she's like "it's ok I'm just kinda emotional"
>"I know"
>we talk about stuff, she calms down
>morning, didn't sleep at all
>have to go to work
>feel tired and worried
>call in sick
>then call a friend who's a nurse
>"my gf had a miscarriage"
>"GET HER TO A DOCTOR NOW"
>"she doesn't want to"
>"[insert some medical explanation why]"
>"OK OK OK I'LL TAKE HER TO SEE ONE"
[cont.]

>>571390196
yes, here's another
>>
inb4 bel air
>>
C-C-C-C-CONT.
>>
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>>571390396
>call her
>"I called my friend, he's a nurse"
>"he said you have to see a doctor"
>try to explain the reasons he told me
>she's like "fine but only if you don't come"
>????
>I should realise something is wrong
>being sleepy and panicked, I don't
>she doesn't have a car, I do
>she asks me to drive her there
>"ok"
>haven't slept almost at all
>feel drunk and hangover at once
>of course I shouldn't be driving...
>but what do you know, I get in the car
>pick her up from her place
>manage to get to clinic without crashing
>"ok see you later"
>start on my way back home
>first half goes just fine
>turn a corner and hit the brake
>a bunch of dicks in the middle of the road
>just standing there
[cont.]
>>
>>571390562
inb4 walk the dinosaur
>>
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>>571390981
>yell out loud "fuck off!"
>two of them come on my car
>"FUCK OFF" intensifies
>others start wrecking at the boot
>be like "HEY DICKHEAD"
>fuck the police and all but this?
>I gotta call them
>operator is like "what's up?"
>"some dicks are banging my rear"
>exact words
>
>"excuse me."
>be like "of my car!"
>"oh... well mate, stay calm"
>"my gf just had a miscarriage!"
>she's like "OK AMBULANCE IS COMING"
>"HANG IN THERE"
>try to explain I didn't mean right now
>resistance is futile
>the biggest dick knocks off a rear mirror
>that's it
>I get out of the car
[cont.]
>>
>>571391526
Bump
>ohshit.jpg
>>
>>571391526
>Get on the floor
>Walk the dinosaur
>>
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>>571391526
>"OI MATE"
>he ignores me
>"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"
>they all ignore me
>fuck this shit
>get back in the car
>hit it to the floor
>drive home safely
>everything went better than expected
>a couple hours later
>she calls me and is like "I need to tell you something"
>brace myself
>"I had anorexia when I was younger"
>"it fucked up my body pretty bad"
>ok?
>"the doctor said the baby isn't dead"
>!?!?!?!?!!??
>be like "how can that be possible"
>apparently it wasn't a miscarriage
>it was a cervical prolapse
[cont.]
>>
>>571392038
Luke I'm your father
>>
>>571389485
>wrap my arms around her
>slowly move down toward her ass
>"what are you doing"
I was in a similar situation like this once in my virgin days almost caught a rape charge. Shit's serious.
>>
>>571392038
wouldn't that result in a dead baby anyway?
>>
>>571392038
>"ok that's bad, is it fixed now?"
>I can feel the silence thickening
>"ARE YOU FUCKING DAFTARDED!?!?"
>"I NEED MOTHERFUCKING SURGERY"
>be like "ok ok ok ok sorry"
>she's having some tomorrow
>would've had already but it's not "bad enough"
>like fuck it isn't, I googled that shit
>I eat and watch TV, be on /b/
>night comes
>manage to fall asleep, finally
>wake up in the morning
>had nightmares of her cervix eating me
>I don't even know
>spend the day on /b/ and fapping
>don't hear from her at all
>now it's the day after that
>try to call her number over and over
>not picking up
>went to the clinic, she's not there
>they said she's in the ER
>went there, she's not there

now I'm home and don't know what to do

>>571392703
apparently not necessarily, somehow just the cervix kinda fell out and not the whole uterus... not sure how it works
>>
>>571390396
>>"A DEAD BABY LEFT MY PUSSY IN PUBLIC"
>>"MY ASS EXPLODED FROM THE PAIN"
>>"I SHAT MY PANTS AND SCREAMED"
>>"IN A BUS FULL OF PEOPLE"
Das fucking nasty yo.
Is that really what happens?
>>
If the baby survives name it Rambo, regardless of gender.

It's earned its place in the animal kingdom.
>>
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>>571393584
that's pretty much what she said

and I'll dump asses until some advice
>>
afraid this will 404 so bump
>inb4 newfag
>>
>>571393143
immediately demand a paternity test or some proof that she is pregnant in the first place. If all else fails, punch her in the stomach
>>
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>>571393902
I'll make sure to tell her that as an option, haha... if she's not dead or missing or anything like that
>>
You can also ask the nurses at the ER about when and if she was there and what her status is now. Tell them you are her brother.
>>
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>>571393143
go back to the ER, grab the nearest patient and bite his nose off. that should fix everything
>>
>>571393143
Wait what the fuck? What was the part about the faggots attacking your car?
>>
following this tread with boner
>>
OP how does it feel that your child can hit her cervix, but you can't?

Captcha: feel nsainio
>>
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>>571394423
did you even read it? I have no clue where she is and besides, a baby wouldn't be that bad if it won't grow up to be a serial killer or something
>>571394663
they told me she was there (I showed them a few pics of us together, they didn't at first want to tell me anything but they believed that she's my gf) but no clue where she went, it's like she disappeared without leaving the place, one of the nurses said she'd call me if she turns up but she hasn't... and no one seemed to know when she wasn't there anymore, 2spooky4me type shit
>>571394901
well I felt it may be important to mention that, it added some stress you know?
>>571394965
that's nice
>>571394684
nah, I'm not from Miami
>>571395038
weird I guess?
>>
so nothing?
>>
This sounds strangely familiar pretty sure it's pasta
>>
>>571395552
She is either going to get an abortion without telling you, which wouldnt be that bad, or shes going to have the baby, which apparently youre cool with. I dont see what the problem is. Id keep fucking that prolapsed anus of hers.
>>
>>571395552
Yeah I understand the added stress part. I just didnt know if you fealt like that related to the girl or was just a random event.
>>571395964
this.
>>
>>571395552
The only thing you need to do once she contacts you is to make sure the kid is or is not yours. She sounds real flighty, crazy, and like she is lying alot (so shes a woman) and you cannot take her word on anything. For now, stick to fapping.
>>
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>>571395964
yeah but there's the third option, that she's being held hostage by some mad doctor who's gonna sew her mouth to somebody's ass or abducted by aliens or fuck if I know...

and it's not her anus that prolapsed
>>571396096
nah I don't see how it could be related unless she hired them or something but that's fucking stupid and makes no sense
>>571395783
it isn't
>>
>>571396510
Thats what i thought but just had to make sure. what ever happened to them/your car?
>>
>>571396510
lol what the fuck are you talking about man? you need to get some sleep. Theres nothing you can do right now. I guarantee she is just super embarrassed and feels like a whore and is freaking out on her own. Leave her a message or two and then leave it.
>>
>>571396510
Has this been her ass youve been dumping? If so, maybe its a good thing you put a human inside of her.
>>
>meet girlfriend through a friend
>be friends for years
>finally end up dating
>take it slow
>end up fucking a year later
>she's stable and nice
>I'm nice and stable
>we don't have drama

I feel like people purposefully seek out OP-style stories to live out.
>>
>>571396510
bunker down and wait for a call
maybe she got an abortion
maybe there never was a baby
if there IS a baby you need to jump on the is it even mine train
chill out bro there isn't much you can do
>>
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>>571396479
nah, well yeah I'm not absolute if the baby's mine but I'm pretty sure she hasn't fucked anyone else since we're together. could be but it's not that big a deal unless she got some std or it's some big man criminal who's gonna sell her to sex slavery
>>571396714
no clue what happened to them, my car has some dents and shit but it's mostly fine and I just need to get it fixed which will cost a bit though
>>571396862
yeah I guess, thanks
>>571397012
of course it's not her ass... these are some porn asses
>>
>>571397296
a man can dream mein nigga, a man can dream
>>
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>>571397167
I guess you have a point but a lot of people don't meet their gfs like that, it's like love at first sight without the whole feel part... that comes later
>>571397248
yeah true
>>571397504
yes we can
>>
hey op, it sounds this girl is unstable a bit. Plase make sure at some point that the baby really is yours. You can also go back to ER and tell about this weird-ass situation that you was being told shes there but now isnt and your nervous
>>
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>>571398192
I'm actually a faggot and the stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood
>ITT: fools
>>
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I don't doubt you guys would masturbate to this coconut.
>>
>>571399709
That's a fineee coconut
>>
>>571399709
noice
>>
>>571399709
im already masturbating to it
>>
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This is one of the best stories I've read here, but maybe it's because I'm drunk.
>>
>>571389485
>>571389832
when the greentext gets longer than 2/3 of what you first wrote I deem it as fake.
>>
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>>571401370
thanks, have some kawaii (ノ◕▽◕)ノ*:・゚✧ ♥

btw I'm the same guy who did that bear in the shower thing if anyone remembers that
>>
>>571402180
You're only just as bad as a cam whore
>>
>>571402679
I fucking love cam whores

>inb4 "I love fucking cam whores"
>>
i love fucking cam whores
>>
>>571402985
that was a pretty good story OP. thanks for your imagination
>>
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>>571403414
you'll have more of it later

every day

for the rest of your life

forever

>mfw /b/ is literally half of my life
>>
lol how the fuck do u come up with shit like "my uterus just fell through my pussy" haha

the things you imagine
>>
>>571404909
it's easy: think of A, and think of B! DON'T THINK OF THEM TOGETHER, think of them separately... then connect them

for example:
A)
>handstand
B)
>cowboy

>be cool
>attempt a handstand
>igotthis.jpg
>prop myself up on my hands
>fuckin boss
>suddenly see under a chick's skirt
>a vein bursts in head
>massive nosebleed
>"ANON DID YOU LOOK UP MY SKIRT???"
>
>"FUCK YOU BITCH I'M A COWBOY"
>pull out a gun
>still handstanding
>epic shoot-out with Clint Eastwood
>yes
>>
>>571405794
*Clit Southwood
Thread posts: 59
Thread images: 21


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