[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Click for more| Home]

Help! Turtle find, what do? Be kind, kill, maime? Will post pics

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 210
Thread images: 48

File: 1411573514785.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411573514785.jpg
2MB, 3264x2448px
Help! Turtle find, what do? Be kind, kill, maime? Will post pics (not going up my rectum)
>>
>>570392182
insert rektum
>>
put it in a wheel barrow
>>
>>570392182
Suck his dick.
>>
insert rektum
>>
release into the wild if you won't eat it, faggot
>>
>>570392182
keep forever as your pet
>>
>>570392182
That's a tortoise, give him a good life and name him Harold, Today is my birthday and I would appreciate pics of this little guy.
>>
>>570392182
what is the get faggot???
>>
>>570392539
This
>>
Super glue a paint brush to its shell.
>>
File: 1370570569-0.jpg (27KB, 495x371px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1370570569-0.jpg
27KB, 495x371px
knit him a bowser cozy
>>
Hm.. these are all lovely, ill let /b vote which is best
>>
>>570392726
I second this motion.
>>
>>570392182
Send it off to space using balloons.
>>
>>570392726
Well shit, this
>>
>>570392726

how adorably horrifying
>>
>>570392182
You harm that turtle and I will hunt you down and shove you up my rectum, faggot.
>>
>>570392726
this
>>
File: 1411573666968.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411573666968.jpg
2MB, 3264x2448px
Anything goes /b/ so far it's bowser cozy with harold pet trailing
>>
>>570392182
insert rektum
>>
>>570393109
Wait
>filename

Oh for fuck sake.
>>
>>570393109
DON'T YOU DARE MOTHERFUCKER
>>
>>570392539
this, ffs look at the guy just coolin it. he couldnt harm you if his life depended on it
>>
>>570392182
build house
>>
Saw its shell open
>>
File: 93aiBbq.jpg (30KB, 675x540px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
93aiBbq.jpg
30KB, 675x540px
>>570393109
CHOP THAT TURTLE BITCH
>>
>>570392726
Fucken this. Knit it, or buy it.
>>
>>570392726
get knitting you faggot
>>
>>570393109
PAINT IT IN BLUE !
>>
>>570393109
make it fly with balloons and shoot turtle/balloons with rifle
>>
File: 1410895510054.jpg (17KB, 192x258px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1410895510054.jpg
17KB, 192x258px
>>570392726
This
>>
FUCK OFF DONT KILL THIS TURTLE OR 4CHAN WILL FIND YOU AND RUIN YOUR LIFE MOTHERFUCKER
>>
Bowzer turtle cozy wins. Get knitting/shopping motherfucker.
>>
>>570392726
this
>>
/b/ already tracked down some shitheads torturing a innocent animal, you´ll be the next in the list if you do this
>>
>>570393109
Make a VERY small noose and slip it on the shell. Tighten and tie to tree branch. Bash that bitch like a pinata with that stick.
>>
>>570392726
Get knitting you cunt.
>>
>>570393804
People kill turtles all the time, if one more dies i doubt it would mean much.
>>
>>570392726
definitely this
>>
File: 1411574291183.jpg (3MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411574291183.jpg
3MB, 3264x2448px
How about. Build house, keep as Harold, and knit bowser cozy?
>>
>>570392539
roll for this, OP is and edgy faggot, and that's coming from an edgy faggot
>>
>>570394124
I like the look of that drill
>>
>>570394124
yes, be good to Harold
>>
>>570394124
How about a timestamp m8?
>>
>>570392182


>turtle

Just put it back where you found it or be no better than a nogger.
>>
File: 1395845697071.gif (1000KB, 500x500px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1395845697071.gif
1000KB, 500x500px
Put a tech deck dude skateboard under him and hold it steady with a rubber band.
>>
All heil almighty Harold. Our bowzer overlord that rules with a bad ass cozy.
>>
you have all kinds of brushes and universe gave you a canvas. let the art flow.
>>
>>570394414
this
>>
>>570392726

rollin for bowser cozy
>>
>>570392726
good lord this. we should expeditions into the wild armed only with backpacks of these cozies and bowser up generations of turtles
>>
Aviation experiment ver. 2.0

Maybe a tortoise will have different results? Only one way to find out.

>pic related
>>
>>570394465
That's what my mom said, 9 months later I was born and she had baby weight.
>>
File: 1411574726245.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411574726245.jpg
2MB, 3264x2448px
>>570394360
Stamp?
>>
Im gonna build him a home first though, ill be back in 5
>>
File: 1402840403506.jpg (61KB, 700x466px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1402840403506.jpg
61KB, 700x466px
>>570393109
damn that machete looks nice.

anyway, that little guy never hurt nobody, just let him go
>>
>>570394746

hahahahahahaha
>>
>>570394950
i actually like where this thread is going
>>
detain him until he tells you the location of the others
>>
Don't smash him, pls
>>
Drill this motherfuckin shell
>>
Tortoise soup sounds good for lunch don't you think?
>>
>>570392182
Sharpie in turtle pooper
>>
File: [email protected] (299KB, 480x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
12-25@18-10-56-375.jpg
299KB, 480x800px
>>570392539
Thanks, /b/! Made my birthday a little bit better. Here's a picture of my turtle to give back.
>>
>>570392539
eastern box turtle
not eastern box tortoise
>>
>

SHIT ON IT
>>
Find him a tortoisebro/broette. Take pictures of the sex.
>>
>>570392182
shove him into your peepee hole m8
>>
>>570392313

Op delivered!
>>
How the fuck did he get in the wheel barrow
>>
>>570395316
turtle porn
>>
MAKE HIM ONE OF THE NINJA TURTLES? DUH.
>>
build him a house and burn the house down while its in it. save the turtle in the most crucial moment. give it artificial respiration with a little tongue involved. then tie it to balloons and shoot the balloons. when it hits the ground save it and make it live again. then weld an iron bowser armor onto its shell
>>
>>570393336
Back to le leddit you go you fat ugly bitch
>>
>>570392726
oh this, totally this and I hope you deliver you fucking faggot OP
>>
>>570392726
Going to go with.... THIS.
>>
If you kill the turtle...Someone is going to find you and probably shit on your doorstep
>>
File: carlos.jpg (4KB, 168x192px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
carlos.jpg
4KB, 168x192px
>>570395464
slowly
>>
this thread has all the autism and cancer of tumblr
>>
>>570395719
Get out
>>
>>570395719
CARLOOOOOS!
>>
If this gets 404'd I will make another post. Don't worry /b I will deliver
>>
>>570395507

This - this is what must be done.
>>
Turtle tits or GTFO
>>
>>570394124
Cut open and feed animals in the forest with the guts... Mother nature cycle of life
>>
That rifle looks like a toy.

1) Nail feet to wood
2) Poor lighter fluid over turtle
3) Light on fire

Post results.
>>
>>570396058
Shucklebump
>>
>>570396058
Let the turtle be
cant you just go out and kill a nigger instead
they are annoying creatures from the black lagoon
>>
>>570392726
give me a time stamp and a website and ill send it to you FAGGOT
>>
>>570392182
>>570396058

make flyers and put them out, saying that youve found someones lost turtle, and let the animal shelters know that you found it as well.
>>
>>570392182
Let him go and kill yourself?
>>
>>570396435
if you kill a nigger and post result, then you can let the turtle go.

Or kill this person:
>>570396591
>>
File: 8825.gif (2MB, 400x174px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
8825.gif
2MB, 400x174px
he would love it
>>
SHIT ON IT
>>
>>570396058
Put him in a aquarium with a little bowl and some lettuce c:
call him/her 'thing'
>>
File: 1408868185023.png (4MB, 2000x2000px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1408868185023.png
4MB, 2000x2000px
NO 404 WE NEED HAROLD BOWSER FOR WORLD 8-4
>>
Dump green goo on him, then teach ninjutsu
>>
SHIT ON IT!
>>
File: 1411575708538.jpg (3MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411575708538.jpg
3MB, 3264x2448px
This will do for now, till I get lumber. Now to Crissen (?) As Harold
>>
File: 1399114726499.jpg (101KB, 900x600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1399114726499.jpg
101KB, 900x600px
>>570396683
OMG that is shit is cool
>>
Just put it back on the grass and find something productive to do.
>>
File: 1411501291344.jpg (33KB, 413x395px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411501291344.jpg
33KB, 413x395px
SHIT

ON

IT
>>
>>570392182
I had one, named him Abrahams after the tank cause the fucker didn't give a crap and walked over everything in his path, they are good pets. If you take proper care of him, he'll probably outlive you.
>>
>>570396906
good shit anon, be a good person
>>
Send it to space
>>
>>570396683
this looks good. he's be the fastest turtle around...

You could find another turtle then race them...
>>
File: 1384079922142.jpg (72KB, 586x392px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1384079922142.jpg
72KB, 586x392px
"" """=====____SHIT ON IT___=====""""
>>
>>570397297
listen to heaven and you might get in
>>
File: ComeAtMeBro.jpg (48KB, 400x525px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
ComeAtMeBro.jpg
48KB, 400x525px
>>570396682
come at me bro

>>570396906
please dont hurt it anon, animals are innocent.

if you dont want to report that you found someones pet, keep it for yourself ( some kid will have left it outside while playing )
>>
>>570392539
I second this.
>>
>>570396906
get some lettuce and fruits for that little faggot
he must be hungry
>>
File: 0706111909.jpg (269KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0706111909.jpg
269KB, 1280x960px
>>570396906
10/10 op
>>
>>570396906
Are you sure it's alive? If so, wild turtles will take a long time to exit their shells cause they see you as a threat but in a couple of weeks he'll be eating lettuce from your hand.
>>
>>570396906
Make him a pedestal
>>
File: turkey-brazil.jpg (47KB, 396x600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
turkey-brazil.jpg
47KB, 396x600px
throw it in a kart.

pic unrelated
>>
File: trippyasfuck.gif (175KB, 480x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
trippyasfuck.gif
175KB, 480x480px
>>570396906
christened*
>>
File: HUGE GUTS.png (116KB, 283x244px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
HUGE GUTS.png
116KB, 283x244px
SHIT ON IT
>>
Take it clubbing faggot, pick up bitches
>>
>>570397763
bitches love turtles.
>>
SHIT ON HIM

captcha treaturd nigger
>>
File: 1411576289783.jpg (3MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411576289783.jpg
3MB, 3264x2448px
Jurassic park themed walls?
>>
>>570394360

check the file names, this is old shit.
>>
>>570398143
this. THIS is getting cool
>>
Buy a prostitute or escort for him. Make sure he is satisfied.
>>
COPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTACOPYPASTA
>>
>>570398143

SHEEIT THATS COOL

But the turtle needs to be dedended from birds.
>>
>>570398143
i got a better idea find a challenger and start a wrestling match
>>
>>570398232
see
>>570394841
>>
>>570398143
Build him a shelter, there he's exposed to predators.
>>
>>570392884
Get
>>
>>570397463
yo your a fucking sissy
i have 2 sullies and 2 red ear sliders and im not even making a big deal about this
its like natural selection, the turtle wandered into the yard of a deranged retard also known as OP and has to suffer the consequences
>>
>>570392539
yes this
>>
>>570394841
Timestamp with year, date, tortoise and your ID pls
>>
>>570394841
>>570398338
>>570398232

stfu faggot
>>
>>570398526
/b/ is infested with a new breed of faggot.
>>
Insert rektum
>>
>>570396683
THIS! i fucking love gore but it gets boring
this shit is ca$h
>>
>>570398143
you need to give him a swimming area... maybe dig a hole in the ground and put a bucket of water in the whole.. then level it off with soil so he can get out.. maybe get some vegetation for him to do what turtles do?

>you have a chance to be worlds best pet owner. Other turtles will flock to you once they find out and word spreads..

KING TURTLE MASTER
>>
>>570397763
no, that movie was fucking awful. I'm not even going to read your comment.
>>
>>570398729
What if he was tied to skateboard.... on fire?

Best of both worlds?

(captcha == 2600 ...how l33t!)
>>
abandon thread. OP is a sissy faggot who listens to 13yo tumblr users.
>>
File: yoda.jpg (153KB, 625x882px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
yoda.jpg
153KB, 625x882px
>>570398526
>bullshit this is
Wanting to protect a fucking harmless animal =/= being a sissy
>>
>>570396906
I once watched a turtle chow down on a sparrow I shot. Go shoot bird, feed turtle.

also, nice lumber. if possible, dig 8 foot pit, fill with water. turtles love you for it
>>
Come on OP update!
>>
>>570396683
LOL do this shit
>>
>>570398960
>>570398806
He doesn't look like a semi aquatic turtle, more of a terrestrial one.
>>
>>570398806

>whole

faggot
>>
>>570398894
>I'm salty because all my ideas were shit
>>
OP you're a scholar and a gentleman. Kudos to you
>>
File: dsg.jpg (6KB, 150x156px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
dsg.jpg
6KB, 150x156px
oh boy
>>
>>570399178
i was implying in the whole hole faggot.

>lrn to rd btwn th lnes
>>
>>570398934
>>570398698
choke on it anons, i also eat turtle when i return to the south, and eat dog in china but have a loving pet dog.
>>
Draw dicks or swastikas on its she'll and let it go
>>
File: 1357937374616.jpg (1MB, 1280x1024px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1357937374616.jpg
1MB, 1280x1024px
>>570399120
Im getting antsy, op. How is harold?
>>
>>570392539
This.
>>
be kind
>>
>>570398143
Capture more turtles and have a Jurassic themed turtle park.
>>
>>570399614
>killing a turtle and eating it
is some how the same as
>torturing it for fun

If I was in China, I would probably eat dogs too. That doesn't mean I'm going to come home and and start disemboweling Fido.
>>
File: 1411577389064.jpg (3MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411577389064.jpg
3MB, 3264x2448px
>>570399740
And to think. I was going to split him open with my machete and cut his head off. Your good people on the inside /b Anyway, looking for good wood
>>
File: saketit united.jpg (31KB, 377x265px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
saketit united.jpg
31KB, 377x265px
>>570399784
rewind

captcha
>>
>>570399614
I support your appreciation of dog meat anon, but there is no need to kill animals unless they are trying to kill you or you need to eat them.
>>
Fuck this shit 4chan has turned soft and gay!
Drill the fuckers shell!!!!
Come on show these tumblr fags what 4chan really is!!!!
>>
>>570392539
when /b/ became so faggy?
>>
>>570400167
inb4 pictures of erect cocks
>>
>>570400167

for once op is not a faggot
>>
File: 1396048062526.jpg (25KB, 294x312px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1396048062526.jpg
25KB, 294x312px
Shit nigga, op was a cool guy.
Someone archive this shit? Harold and OP needs to be remembered.
>>
>>570400167
Give him some turtle food
>>
>>570400286
not realizing that nothing has changed, it's just more fun to troll the faggy little edgelords
>>
>>570400216
>>570398894
>>570398698
>>570398526
>> Everyone
Here's my last turtle. There, now to continue with being kind to this one
>>
>>570400216

so hardcore XD
>>
>>570400134
all im saying if OP is retarded enough to kill the turtle let him.
>>
>>570400167
Make him cool house,he deserves it
>>
>>570400286
faggot
>>
>>570400661
Piss of you pansy ass twat.
The fuck back to tumblr
>>
>>570400621
kek
>>
>>570400621
good job OP did you keep the shell, you can make a cool ashtray out of it. also did you try eating any of it? i recommend using it in a stew
>>
Im all out of ideas /b what do I do now?? Ill knit later when im not 2 miles up a mtn
>>
>>570392539
FUCKING THIS!
>>
>>570392182
OP, you must TIMESTAMP and SHOW TITS.... Everyone knows this.... Show harolds tits next to the timestamp....

OP DELIVER!!!
>>
>>570401041
Drill holes into his shell so he can breath
>>
File: 138987792861s.jpg (5KB, 150x150px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
138987792861s.jpg
5KB, 150x150px
>>570400486
>not greentexting
>>
>>570392182
How hard can you throw?
+
What is hardest vertical surface nearby?
>>
>>570401041
draw the feeling guy on the shell and let him free so future generations know that feel
>>
>>570400621
>>570400621
>>570400621
OP how about make Harold the Savior of /b/?
It would be a nice hobby. Every once in a while you make a Harold thread, while anons suggest things you do to it. Feed it drugs, steroids, make it a mutant turtle. Paint him, attach blades on him. Make him the King of all turtles. Then you catch a bird, cut the bird's head off and attach it to the turtle.
Find one more turtke, breed them. Make them a luxury habitat.
>>
>>570401379

this
>>
>Take Harold the turtle's neck
>Move forward with force
>head is off
>watch the blood and take pics
>>
>>570400852

damn drilling turtles AND using bad words like twat and fuck

I just can't handle this website!
>>
>>570401041
Hit his shell with a hammer.
>>
File: 1411578361384.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411578361384.jpg
2MB, 3264x2448px
>>570401379
Hes safe for now. And yes. Yes to it all, except drugs, just roids.
OP will deliver /b
>>
File: 1408868642885.jpg (70KB, 542x589px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1408868642885.jpg
70KB, 542x589px
>>570398894
>>
>>570401842
OP, put a bowl of vinegar by the turtle.
>>
>>570401842
>take knife
>Locate eye
>put knife in turtles eye
>lel
>>
>>570395719
You just made my shitty day a little better, thank you very much m8. Here are some tits for that
>>
>>570401842
find a lizard friend for him to finish up the jurassic park
>>
>>570401379

I expect a bi-weekly harold thread to make sure you don't do >>570400621 this to him.
>>
>>570392182
>(not going up my rectum)
lmao
>>
File: 1411578811069.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411578811069.jpg
2MB, 3264x2448px
>>570402503
Hes safe with me
>>
>>570396058
what the fuck is "/b"?
>>
>>570402681
just kick the rocks over, by chance is there even a turtle in that shell or is it the shell of the last turtle you killed
>>
File: 1389515196800.png (437KB, 600x427px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1389515196800.png
437KB, 600x427px
>>570402846
4chan.org/b pleb.
>>
Be kind...
Let him/her go where you found it. They don't make good pets.
Turtles are cool.
This is indeed and Eastern Box Turtle...
It's your state reptile if you are in NC.
>>
>>570400167
YOu need to dig him a little pond and fill it wit water bruh
>>
File: 54184_main_full.jpg (39KB, 500x503px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
54184_main_full.jpg
39KB, 500x503px
>>570402897
prove it's actually a fucking turtle inside you eternal fag
>>
>>570402897
Been wondering the same thing. None of these pics have any part of the tortoise but the shell.
>>
Get the turtle high on what ever you have around. preferably pot, as turtles are chill as shit
>>
>>570400621
Wow dude, you're so cool!

Also this whole thread smells fishy, filenames etc.
>>
File: 0021.jpg (16KB, 214x317px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0021.jpg
16KB, 214x317px
>>570403238
mfw just a shell this whole time
>>
>>570400061
>he spared no expence
>>
>OP makes thread with copy pasta images
>posts "name him Harold" from different device
>Harold is the name on the copy pasta images taken on september 24 a few years ago
>/b/ faithfully believes
Thread posts: 210
Thread images: 48


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.