Alright since it's started up maybe they wont delete this time. Heres my story.
The story begins 5 years ago as my freshman year in high school. I was a solid 6/10, maybe 5.5/10, and I hadn't been looking around for a girlfriend for a long time. Not as if I didn't want one, I just wasn't trying to at the time. First semester of the year was nothing interesting, made some new friends as I was starting new at this high school. Made an interesting friend named Stevie, who was very... different. He was friends with half the grade, but he was just random and didn't seem to know what was wrong and right to say at certain times. As second semester came around, I was in Career Info, a required class to graduate. It was my last period of the day, and it was said to be the easiest class in the school. When we walked in, the teacher gave us all assigned seats. As it was the end of the day and the first day of the second semester, I was tired, and was just kind of dazed out listening to whatever the teacher wanted us to do. I sat down in my seat and laid my head down, as I was ready to pass out. I slowly started to fall asleep, and was dazed until I heard the door to the classroom open as our teacher was finishing the seating. Some girl had arrived late, for a doctor appointment or something. I glanced my head up taking a quick glance at the girl, we shall call her, Julia. When I barely opened my eyes and actually looked at her, I was stunned. She was beautiful. I had seen pretty girls before, even prettier than her, but... something was different. The feeling I felt looking at her. I didn't know what it was/hadn't felt it before.
>>570286582 I saw her and all I knew was I wanted to know her. The first few months of class, I didn't really say anything. I'm good at making people close friends but not good at starting it off, usually. A few more weeks passed until we got a new seating chart. Stevie was beside me, and in front of him, none other than Julie. As class started that day, Julia spent a lot of the time talking to Stevie in which I learned Stevie had known her for a while. So after class I caught up with Stevie and asked how they had met and everything. Stevie talked how they had went to the same elementary and other things, so I just listened trying to gain any info that could help. Nothing did. For a while I would just join in on every conversation I could. If I saw Stevie and Julia talking about something I knew, I would join in. I wanted to get to the point where I was talking to her in and after class, and it reached that point extremely fast. We started talking a lot. I eventually got her number and we started texting daily, hourly, etc. She was more and more of everything I wanted. The more I texted her the more I fell for her. I knew after texting for about a month I had to do something. I just didnt know what yet.
>>570286851 God maybe mods will actually let me post this story now.
Now, when I had liked a girl in the past, I always had some sort of initiation. I knew she liked me somehow, friends, other ways, but as me being new to the school, I didn't know her friends. Most of my friends I had made knew her, but not on a personal level. So I had to take a leap of faith basically. I started hinting towards her and I dating and she didn't throw it away. She said the one thing I had to do was take her on a date first. So I did, to the movies (how stereotypical right?) If I told you the main thing I remembered of that night, it wouldnt be the movie. I got there almost 30 minutes early, and bought both of our tickets. I sat there and waited until she texted me and said "I'm here." I looked out the door trying to spot her and couldn't, until I spotted her. She was wearing jeans, and a loose shirt, one of those ones where the shoulder is slightly showing. She had one side of her hair parted behind her ear and the other side in front of her eyes. She had never looked to beautiful. She walked up to me and simply said "hey." and had this astounding smirk on her face. I laughed and just said "Hey, the movies starting soon." She smiled, then we went to the theater and got seated. I was hoping she wouldn't pull down the spots for the drinks and she didn't. I remember exactly how I felt, like happy as ever and nervous, a perfect mix.
>>570286996 Any lurkers? And the next point is where mods usually close the thread so.. prepare yourselves.
The movie began and I really had no idea what to do. I'm a nervous betafag when it comes to pulling moves and etc. For the first 30 minutes I couldnt do anything. Too scared that anything I would do would mess things up. At one point I just decided to count to 5 and do it. I got to one and just threw my arm over her. At first she did nothing, which somewhat concerned me. Then she leaned into my shoulder and said lightly "finally." I grabbed her hand, and pulled her closer as she snuggled more in. I smiled and we stayed like that the entire movie. At the end we walked out holding hands, where we went to the theater doors to be picked up. Her mom pulled up, and she stood up. Before she could walk away I said "Julia, wait!.... will you be my girlfriend..?" She smiled and without a moment of hesitation said "of course anon" and ran off to her moms car. "I smiled and stood there for a good 10 minutes, trying to remember a happier moment in my life. By the time my dad got there, I hadn't thought of one. We texted all weekend, talking about everything, and on Monday I got to go in the school holding her hand. Tons of people stared as we walked down the freshman hallway. It was my first girlfriend at this school as well as a lot of people knew her. We walked around as many of my friends high fived me, plenty of her friends were coming up and talking to me. It must have been big new to everyone. This is how it was for the rest of the week. Everyday atleast one person came up and asked about us, or asked her how we came together. From what it seemed, no one would of ever expected us to be together. But she was perfect, and I knew she was, She was everything I ever wanted. By far.
>>570287178 Now here comes the sappy first kiss part. I had never been more nervous in my life. I had wanted to a few times but I just backed off cause I was a pussy. I was afraid she would turn her head, start to say something, not expect it, and I would mess up. Until one day after school, I was prepared for whatever was gonna happen. After last period we both walked to where we usually hug and say goodbye, and we're having a conversation about how she hates doing effort (she played for the basketball team but aside from that was lazier than I was.) We hugged and I remember exactly how it went. She cuddled her head into me, then said "Ah I love the smell you have." I smiled and said, "My smell?" She backed up a little and said "Yes, you have this scent, it just am-.." before she finished I pulled her towards me and kissed her. At first she was surprised but then I felt her fall into the kiss, and she kissed me back harder than I had started. We sat there for a good 20 seconds until the gym teacher walked by and shouted "Get a room!" We both laughed and went our separate ways. I will never forget that kiss.
>>570287378 The next few weeks were great. I got to kiss her between every class. I usually would hate couples that did that in the hall, but I finally realized why they did it. It felt amazing every single kiss. I didn't ever want it to end. Every night we had a goodnight amazing<3 and every morning was a goodmorning beautiful<3. Call me a betafag, but she loved it. Every corny thing, she loved it all.
>inb4 beta or some shit yeah I pretty much was, thats why this relationship meant a lot to me
>>570287559 Now comes a particular night. She messaged me about 2 hours (it was around 1am, I don't sleep much, still don't) after we had stopped texting for the night. "Anon, I need to talk to you about something." I don't know what I was thinking the message would be, but me being me, I freaked out when I read that. I thought it was coming to an end and I really didn't want it to. Another message came. "Anon, I've had boyfriends before. And I've dropped the "love" word on 2 of them. But I have to be honest. Right now, for the last week, I don't know if it really is, but I've never been happier in my life." I felt amazing butterflies. I didn't exactly know what to say, so I responded "Julia, are you trying to say you love me? If so, only say it if you're sure..." "Anon... I'm sure about one thing.. That I love you more than this world. You don't have to say it back if you don't feel it.." I stopped right there. For what seems like hours, I just sat there and stared at my phone. I got another message, "Oh crap I went to far didn't I.." I responded as fast as I could "God no, I feel exactly the same way Julia, more than anything yes, you're so perfect" I didn't sleep that night.
>>570287645 anyone else? just wondering whos here feel free to also share stories and/or ask anything
I had dropped the love word before aswell, and I can honestly say I was so far from feeling the actual thing when I had said it before. This was the most amazing feeling I had experienced. I never wanted it to stop, and I felt it every day. Everytime school ended or she came over, the "I love you" to each other never got old. I loved saying it and hearing it more and more everytime. She had come to my cousins birthday with me in the first week of June, and everyone loved her. She got along with them all and I couldn't have been happier. I honestly can say I knew I had wanted to spend the rest of my life with this girl.
I remember this time so specifically because of how close I had felt to her. I was at her house, in her room (which was upstairs) and we had been watching Shawshank Redemption. It was her and mines favorite movie. We were making out when I could feel she wanted something more. Her back was arching and she was pulling me closer, playing with my hair. I decided to slowly start lifting up her shirt to see if she stopped me, which she didnt. She leaned up and took her shirt off as fast as possible, and lifted mine up. Our warm bodies against each other felt perfect. I didn't want it to end. She had a sports bra on in which I lifted off, and slowly went from kissing her lips, to her neck, down to her stomach. I kissed lightly on her stomach moving up to her perfect boobs. This had been the first time I had ever seen them, and I kissed them all over. I went back up to kissing her and slowly moved my hand down, where I lightly led it under her shorts and panties, and could feel my hands against her soft clit. I slowly rubbed back and forth and knew what I was doing was right. But, at that moment, before we could get any further, we heard her mom creaking up the stairs. I threw on my shirt as she did the same, and threw her sports bra into her closet and cuddled into me. Her mom came in and grabbed some laundry
>>570288036 Her and I smiled at each other as her mom was grabbing the laundry, and we cuddled for the remaining time. After an hour she fell asleep into my side and I pulled a cover over us and just laid there. The movie ended, and we were just sitting in silence as she was asleep and I sat there smiling, not believing I had such a perfect girlfriend. 6 months ago I would of never even imagined myself in a situation like this.
After that night, suddenly things just dropped in order of priority. She was always on my mind. With friends, at home, after school, lying in bed, she was always on my mind. That night had made us closer than anything had before. Every night we talked about our future life. How wed move out of this awful state, explore the world together, go to college together, our kids, the house everything. Every text, every word exchanged, I knew I didn't wanna be with anyone else, and this was the girl I was determined to spend the rest of my life with. Every night she talked about how shes falling harder and harder for me, and she never wanted to even imagine being with another guy. Now, we get to begin the downhill point of the relationship.
>>570288202 Anyways, so she was determined on being a Physical Therapist. Julia wanted it more than anything, and she was interested as shit in it. She was also an all A student, always. She had an amazing mind and had to put almost no effort towards all A's. So the first two weeks of July, she was going to this National Youth Leadership Forum program. Her mom was gonna drive her there, and she could only talk to me at nights. I was sad I wouldn't get to talk to her, but I knew she wanted this more than anything so I didn't say anything. While she was there, I was at my friends for almost the whole time. The second week is where the start of things would go bad.
So I hadn't slept for three days as my friend and I had been doing random things. When I finally went to sleep, it was Wednesday of the second week. Here comes the part I didn't know and started to ruin things.Her dad had died of Brain Cancer when she was 7. I knew all about this and there were certain nights where she would call and be crying and I would comfort her until she fell asleep on the phone. Some nights I wouldn't get any sleep helping her but it was everything but worth it. I loved her and couldn't stand her being sad. So what I didn't know, the day I went to sleep finally, my phone died in my pocket, was the night her dad had died 8 years ago. She tried to call me frantically multiple times, which I felt awful for. But the part I hate comes next, which is she went to this other guys dorm that night and cried to him for countless hours in which they fell asleep together. It murdered me. I knew I couldnt be there for her, but when she told me that it felt like my chest was literally being crushed.
>>570288423 I didn't know what I was supposed to say. She could of done that with a girl and cried to her, or called other friends, but no, had to go this assholes room and fall asleep with him. I told I understood, and everything was alright when inside I was being eaten alive. My heart hurt. My body hurt. My brain hurt. I didn't know what to take of it.
She came back and came over that Monday. She came in and I hugged her tighter than ever. We were sitting on the couch cuddling, and I was happy, until she started talking to me about the program. The whole time she was talking I couldn't think of anything except her falling asleep with another guy. I didn't hear anything else. She came to a point where she said "I bet you can't guess what my favorite part was anon!"
>>570288561 ay yo post some photos or something i feel alone
I didn't think and responded the first thought I could that came to my head. "When you slept in that other guys arms?" She gave me a look of hate and sadness. She said "excuse me?" as her eyes watered. I was so pissed I didn't think of any of my next responses. "what Julia? Are we supposed to fucking forget about what happened? I know I wasn't there Julia, I fucking hate myself everyday for it, but another guy? Do you seriously expect me to have no problem with it? really?" She didn't say a word and just ran out of the house crying. She called her mom and got picked up. We didnt talk for a few days, which felt like years."
When we finally did talk, she still didn't say anything about. It was if we were supposed to forget about it. Everything went on slightly normal (we were both ignoring it and we both knew it was awkward) Then one day, the worst thing ever happened.
>>570288802 She apparently explained the whole story of me and her to her aunt, which started crying and told Julia the story of her and her boyfriend (who apparently I was alot alike) and he became way too attached and they broke up. I got a single message from her saying "I'm sorry anon, we just can't do this anymore... It's over..." I sat there and stared at the message for about 5 minutes before the tears I was fighting came out. I was lost. Torn apart, and clueless as to what to do. When I went to school the next day, I talked to no one, and just went through the day not thinking about anything. But she was hurting also. I learned she had cried in 3/4 of her classes. It destroyed me even though we werent together to know she was crying.
we started talking again and I told her I will do anything she wants me to do to change. Anything at all. She listed things and I stopped or started them all.
Apparently we couldnt get back together because of her mom. Her mom said: "Julia, I know you like anon, but I want you to be sure you want to spend your high school years with him. Before you go back with him, I want you to wait 2 months"
>>570289028 Now she told me about this rule but she said fuck it and we were back again. I'm not gonna go through the next week but basically she told her mom and her mom went batshit and made us breakup. Or so she says. So she broke up with me, again, and once again, I was destroyed. But I really wasn't that determined to quit yet. So I kept talking to her, as friends. I walked with her everyday. Trying everything I could to stay friends. Until one day she started acting strange. She no longer talked about wanting to kiss me so badly or cuddle, or anything. One day in the morning, she said "You're gonna hate me after today Anon...." and I thought about it all day. At the end of the day, I asked for one last kiss. She stared at me, surprised I knew what was coming. Here eyes watered as she came up to me and kissed me, harder than ever before. She walked out, and messaged me later, "We can never date again anon..." It killed me. I was done. I was so fucking pissed. I sent her a long message, I don't remember what it all said but the end said "I'm done with allowing you to fuck me over emotionally"
>>570289251 I'm now 20, and shes on my head a lot. I decided to share the story with you /b/ros cause I needed to get it out. I dated more girls throughout high school but none of them came near the feeling I had with her.
>inb4 1/10 ending i know I'm bad at writing that shit lets here some either /b/ro experiences but as for her I still miss the shit out of her
>Bad times, no women. >Haven't gotten laid in 3 years >girl at work flirty and pretty cool. >Finally get courage to ask her out on date > lol no anon, lets just hang out first >txts me to go to work to pick her up and hang out all the time >Always gets a smoke off me >sorry anon, I'm feeling tired, maybe next time >4 months of her wanting to hang and just getting smokes off me she quits, magically loses her phone the same day > I knew the whole time and was willing to give her a smoke or two if it meant I could at least have a women fake being somewhat interested in me.
>hot girl starts job where I work >all the guys fantasize/talk about her >I'm the only one with the balls to ask her out >she says yes, I spend like 250 dollars on a date--super expensive restaurant, movie, alcohol, new outfit >everything seems good, she let me put my arm around her in the movie and shit >lean in for a kiss at end of the night >"no, i'm not going to do that." >feelsbadman.jpg, but okay whatever >"text me when you get home anon." >I text her when I get home, she never, ever responds >never speaks to me again >quits her job like a month later >mfw
>>570292531 She would also play games with me. And text me questions like she was interviewing me. But never in person. We did go see a movie, but she didn't let me pay for anything. food, movie. And the thing that really stun was she was going on and acting all excited about doing stuff in the summer. Nope. Summer ruined.
>>570293367 That one strikes a chord with me because of a story I'd rather not begin to delve into, but suffice it to say that since my divorce almost three years ago, I've been one ONE date--and, well, I told you how THAT went...
This is beta as hell, but I honestly don't care right now. I love feel threads because, in here, I don't have to put on my "alpha male" act. I hate how it is; with guys all trying to be the most confident and the coolest and the most carefree. I can just be me, feel, and not have to worry about being judged. And the other anons, most of whom I'll never meet, or recognize, or most likely ever see again, come together, and we're here for each other no matter what's been getting us down. End faggy story. love you /b/ros
Oh and I guess I should post on topic too.. My uncle tried to kill himself today. Mom called crying and I went to console her. Out of everyone in my family I dislike my uncle the most, but I still don't want him to die. I keep wanting to kill myself too, but now I realised I don't want to upset my family. That's all
Let me tell you my story anon as it is alike. Started off when I was going into 9th. I was friends with a lot of the 8th grade girls at the time, and I was introduced to one by a mutual friend. Let's call her Lucy. Anyways, we hit it off perfectly. That whole summer was just us talking everyday and this lasted until late September. It was homecoming. I was in 9th grade and got drunk and started hitting on this girl same grade as me. I didn't know Lucy was going to be there but she was. I'll start green texting after this post.
>>570293397 Yeah, I been thinking about drinking more. I smoke lots of pot, but this weekend I'll be going out and getting drunk. At least them maybe I'll be more open to asking random women out or at least get laid.
>>570293947 fucking ay man >>570293990 you have had an awful day man. Then again thats what feels are for. >>570293906 i don't wanna forget the moments i had with them, but at the same time they made life so fucking hard
I've never seen the episode of this that this particular picture was capped from, but I can just hear him saying this and almost feel the sadness through the picture. Just such a nice, softspoken guy who clearly went through some shit at some point.
>>570294205 >be with girl from my grade >be hugging her from the back >she turns her head and I go for it >she turns while making out >15 seconds in I decide to open my eyes >fucking Lucy right there Being the dimbass drunk I was I just kept going while staring at her until I saw her grab her friends hand and storm out. >spend rest of night trying to contact, no help at all
>>570285641 My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me almost a month ago. Today? I hear she went out with some guy she knew from riding horses. Fucking pissed beyond belief guys, not even a fucking month and she's off with some new asshole.
>>570294205 glad to hear another story coming >>570294209 sometimes whatever gets your mind off of her is the most helpful >>570294239 i sometimes wished I had never experienced it but then I remember her and all those thoughts go away >inb4 cliche as fuck >>570294470 well shit >>570294541 girls can go fuck themselves with the time they can get over shit. >>570294632 it fucking sucks /b/ro
>>570294470 >spend about another week, I've been to her house before but she has a brother that's a senior >yea I was scared of that juice head >anyways, December comes, 2 days before my birthday >"anon; pick up the phone it's for you" >hello? >heyyy anon, I just wanted to wish you an early birthday >Lucy? Why haven't we talked in a while? >immediately hangs up >confused at this point but a little confident because she's thinking about me >fast forward to New Years, friends having a party and it's mostly freshmen - juniors. >for some reason Lucy and some of her friends are there >as soon as Luxy notices me(I noticed her but didn't wanna say anything) >she runs up to me and jumps on as I'm forced to hold her by her lower back(was obviously copping a feel too since I remember this light perfect) >she goes in for a kiss(first time we have Ever Kissed) >beta_mode_engage.jpg >pull her off and say no, it shouldn't have been like this(referring to first kiss) >she storms off as if I just insulted her, her friends call me a dick >whatever >ff next day
All of the pain that I thought would kill me in HS over girls not liking me, I can now say I'll take those feels over having my kids taken from me. Divorce is awful, not seeing my kids everyday is the worst thing I've ever experienced. Knowing some other guy gets to come home to them, knowing he doesn't really care about them is like dying but not being dead. Having to tell them that they can't stay with me for the weekend because I live in a shitty room in a house, knowing they don't understand , probably think I don't love them is unbearable.
>>570294916 I'm over her, but it's just that for the last like 2 years the only women that have talked to me are always just doing it for my money. or smokes. or weed, or whatever free. I'm starting to think I should and say fuck finding a gf. I dunno what happened, it was so easy to talk to women but not these days. And I'm almost 30 so it just gets harder and harder :/
>>570295213 >be in history >second period of the day, have first off >class ends and I'm walking out my class >friends points out this kid(let's call him Jack) >says he scored on Lucy last night >most of my friends didn't know I had a thing with her >say oh what a lucky guy >starts cracking up and ends it with "-while she was passed out!!" >my heart stops for a second >ask him how he knows for sure? >his younger sister is in his grade, Lucy spent that same night crying about it >tell him to hold my backpack
>>570295213 >knowing that feel of special first kiss once again idc if it sounds beta make that shit special, the girl will remember it >>570295287 sometimes the quiet ones have the most to say >>570295423 holy fuck man, legit going to call up my dad right now >>570295451 i hate that it only gets harder
>>570295287 >tfw I had three friends in high school >tfw I had intricate plans and drawings in my room about doing another Columbine (this was pre-Virginia Tech, mind you) >tfw my dad found my plans one day and I played it all off as a "story" i was "writing" >tfw no one in school knows how close they really were to getting shot the fuck up in 2006 or so
>>570294916 Seriously fuck it, I tell myself that I'll enjoy my freedom but it fucking hurts so bad anons. I don't have any close friends at all to help me through this and I'm shitty at talking to people.
>>570295802 This fucking picture, dude, holy shit. Story-time, real-deal. Greentext incoming, first love bullshit, been years now but even so, I've never shared this (or even thought of it) in years until I just saw this picture.
>be, I dunno, fourteen? fifteen? >dating my first real girlfriend (FRG), she's same age >both extremely shy and introverted, but she's hot as fuck >she's a ballerina, no shit. >hot. as. fuck. >finally lose our virginity to each other. >yadda yadda, fast forward, we go see this concert >Nickelback, fuck you all, i'm not even gonna lie and say it was all her idea. this was before hating them was 3edgy6me >we can't drive yet, either of us >my parents drop us off at the venue (cont'd)
>>570295948 >approach jack, grab him by the shoulders and turn him around >give him a nice punch across the face >go for a knee to the stomach >he's on the ground as I just unleash all of my anger onto his head >he's on the ground with both hands covering his head as I'm throwing punches, missing a lot and hitting his shoulder or the lockers >finally get pulled off by nearby teacher >go to office >jack gets called in and dean asks me to explain myself >tell him I was furious that this kid would take advantage of a women who is unconscious >jack interrupts saying,"are you fucking kidding me dude she's the one who grabbed onto me first" >we didn't discuss any more specifics, Idk what happened to Jack in terms or being punished for what he did for outside the school but I got sent into out of school suspension >Lucy ends up talking to me again and says she's glad she stood up for me but that it was her fault >she tried apologizing while telling me she tried to make me jealous and said she even sucked his dick >cut that bitch off right there and then
/b/ro, rethinking of what you've written here. I think you're one happy son of a bitch. Well, at least you know you've experienced that thing they call "true love". There's still hope for you...
Now think about those of us who wasted all of their chances to be with a woman that they too late realized was the love of their life. I, for example, never had a chance to even hold her hand or look in her eyes.
Yes, we met on-line on a stupid dating site. No, I'm not 14, I'm actually 22 and it's already been 2 years since it's been this way...
My current girlfriend is now asleep and my mind and heart are fighting each other, mind telling me to chill out and try to be happy, heart yelling at me that I'm only fooling myself and that I'm a fucking lier. I'm struggling every day, hoping to get a text from her just saying to fuck off. Every time I pray I ask God to bring her back to my life for just a minute to tell her how fucking screw-up and how terribly sorry I am.
Again, you've been a lucky bastard to ever have had a chance, Anon. God bless you, tho.
>it's like October >we roll into the venue. It's cold outside; I give her my hoodie >fuck I loved her (in that misplaced, she's-gonna-save-me high school way) >before they drive away, parents said, "we'll be here at 10:00 to pick you guys up. CALL US if the concert runs over" >first time I--or FRG, for that matter--have ever been out unsupervised, especially to, like, an event. >stoked.gif >we go in, get our seats and our snacks and whatnot, start watching >making out the whole time, alpha as fuck >finally, there's an intermission before the headliner, fucking Nickeldick, starts. >10:30 >"oh shit, FRG, I gotta call my folks" >no cell phones--at least, not for kids--back then, not like there are now >let's go find a payphone (cont'd)
>>570296678 what else are we here for? >>570296698 going through my feels photos is bringing back shit >>570296759 holy fuck the shit was that chicks problem. Glad you were able to throw her off. >>570296831 I'm glad i have too anon but at the same time I hate it. But as for true love, in greek (?) mythology, humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs, and 2 heads, then split apart, bound to spend life searching for each other. She's out there. >again inb4 cliche as fuck
>find a payphone, finally, back when those still existed >have exactly enough money for one phone call >call my dad, keep hanging up before the voicemail answered so I'd get my money back >dad finally answers >before I can tell him what's up, his phone loses service and I'm broke (we bought goddamn shirts) >I start freaking out (I was very sheltered growing up, and my parents were strict as fuck) >"they're gonna kill me, it's 10:30 and they're outside waiting on me wondering why I haven't called oh shit" >freaking the fuck out >finally it's decided that before the headlining band, we should just go out to the parking lot and find my parents >we go out, it's drizzling now >cold, October drizzle, like needles >we're looking everywhere for my parents car, can't find it >it sets in what must have happened: they figured it out, and aren't there yet >she still has my hoodie >I'm shivering my ass off, snot running down my face, and at this point I'm starting to cry a little because i've fucked this whole thing up so badly >beta as fuck >"you are my sunshine. my only sunshine..." >she's singing to me, and she puts her arms around me, big doe eyes full of what I can see now is love >"you make me happy, when skies are grey" >I swear to god, /b/, i'm an atheist first >but /b/, she sounded like a fucking angel
i keep staring at this, and i keep thinking about that mom. she works hard to afford that shitty apartment where she doesn't have enough storage space to put the groceries away or enough counter space for the toaster, so she had to push those things back to make room for that cake that she baked and frosted and spent time making for her son's 20th birthday. and she's thinking what did i do wrong with him? and he's thinking what did i do to deserve this/
>>570298876 Eh, times changed, we grew up. I met another girl.
We only dated--and the story i just told--took place in freshman year, over the summer into sophomore, and that was it. But we still fucked occasionally and were close until I met the girl who would eventually become my ex-wife.
Just high school shit. That memory is so vivid, though. Anyone else ever had one of those moments where you suddenly think, "Oh, shit, I'm going to remember this moment for the rest of my life."?
Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.
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