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Most offensive/racist jokes thread START

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 202
Thread images: 26

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Most offensive/racist jokes thread

START
>>
>>569168039
nigger
>>
>>569168039
nigger
>>
I like to date black girls cuz I know I won't have to worry about meeting their father
>>
Cmon /b
>>
>>569168460
OP = :(
>>
Do you know what I like about black people?

Nothing.
>>
What the difference between bucket full of shit and nigger?
Bucket
>>
faggot!
>>
Weed?
>>
how often does a black woman shit?

>once every nine months
>>
Whats the best part of fucking Twenty-One year olds? Theres 20 of them
>>
how do you make a six year old cry twice?
wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear
>>
>>569168039
nigger
>>
How do you pick up a jewish girl?

Go to Auschwitz with a vaccum.
>>
>>569168990
kek
>>
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>>569169005
>>
What do fat white chicks and shingles have in common? They both get laid by beaners
>>
Hehe
>>
What's the difference between a granny and a baby?

You can't fuck a granny to death
>>
My favourite sex position is the Columbine Massacre. Me and my friend come in, spray a load of kids and finish each other off.
>>
>>569168389

>mfw dating black girl
>mfw when no father
>mfw /b/ racism turns out to be true for once
>>
>>569169239
...wait, can't you?
Why not? This could drastically change my afternoon.
>>
statistically speaking, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape
>>
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>>569168039
so i saw this nigger walking down the street carrying a television
i stopped a second and said hey! that looks like mine!
then i remembered mine was at home shining my shoes.
>>
A Jew walks into a wall with an erection,
He broke his nose.
>>
Why should you never throw stones at a black man driving a car? Cos it's probably your car.
>>
>>569168039
Whats a niggers least favorite game?
Hang man
>>
>>569169369
Hehe
>>
The difference between a pizza and a jew? The time in the oven!

What's a jew doing with an ashtray? He's looking his family photo album
>>
What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?

Santa Claus goes down the chimney.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A nigger, a chinese and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving?
The cop.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A homo, a Jew, and a nigger walk into a bar.

I lied, it was a gas chamber.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do black people have light palms of their hands?
So that they don't dirty the cotton while picking it from the fields.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?

You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
What do you call a black guy on the moon
>
>
> an astronaut
>>
A Paki, an Arab, and a Black walk into a bar, and the bartender says: "Get the fuck out, we don't serve your kind in here"
>>
>>569169024
How do you get a Jewish girls number?

Look at her arm
>>
what's the number one cause of pedophilia?
sexy kids
>>
What do you call a black pilot named max in the RAF? Max
>>
What's the best part about sex with a 12 year old boy? Watching him break down on the witness stand 20 years later.
>>
>>
>>569170453
What's the best part about sex with 12 year old boys? There's 12 of them
>>
What do you call a nigger who's hitchhiking?

Stranded
>>
what is blue, green and does not want to have sex?

a raped woman
>>
How do you stop a nigger in a tank?
Shoot the guy pushing it.
>>
Why can't niggers play in sandboxes? Cats cover em up.
>>
What do you call a nigger on the witness stand?

The Defendant
>>
Nah the difference between a jew and a pizza is that a pizza doesn't scream when in the oven
>>
What do you get when you cross a nigger and an octopus?

An 8 row cotton picker
>>
>>569168039
Women's Rights.
>>
>>569168039
WNBA
>>
What's the loneliest holiday in the projects?

Father's Day
>>
Why do black guys always have red eyes after having sex?

Pepper spray
>>
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>>569170626
You fucked up you dumb nigger

What do black guys and apples have in common?
They both look great hanging from trees.
>>
>>569170968
>>
Whats the difference between an infant and a tuna sandwich?

You dont fuck the tuna sandwich before you eat it.
>>
>>569171657
Pfft, not with that attitude you don't...
>>
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>>
How many jews fit in a car?
25
5 on the seats rest in the ashtray
>>
What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can?
One dead baby in 10 trash cans
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you tit fuck a 12 year old?
Kick in her rib cage
-------------------------------------------------------------
A small girl stands crying at the side of a road. A random guy walks by and asks her what's wrong. "My parents died here this morning in a car crash"
*Guy unzips his pants* "well you really got a bad day today"
>>
You guys are fucked up! All these nig nog jokes! I have a nigg in my family tree I'll have you know!

Can't get em down ... Hung em up real good.
>>
>>569168039
Did you know Oprah and Obama had the same nickname in high school?
Nigger
>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKKur8C4WVg
>>
Two men walk into a bar

First guy turns to the other and says "I can have any woman in here"

Second guys says "really?"

First guy says "yes i am a rapist".
>>
A black guy a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bar...
And they all think your racist that should be ashamed of yourselves for delivering such mediocre jokes
>>
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>>
how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?
nail it's other foot to the floor
>>
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>>569173505
>>
Whats the difference bethween pizza and a nigger
>pizza can feed a family of four

Why niggers cry during sexy time
>because maze

Whats the difference bwthween cake and a jew
>a cake doesnt cry when u put it in the oven

Whats the jews favourite sport
>100 meter electric fences

Why jews wandered 40 years in desert
>somebody lost a coin

Why jews have big nose
>air is free

Why aboriginals are fast runners
>200 years of natural selection

How do you call handles and legless nigger
>fairly reliable

and last joke
>holocoust
>>
>>569174141
and
Nigger walks into a bar with a frog on his head.
Bartender asks what the fuck is that and frog answers
>Thats a nigger
>>
>>569174141
Pathetic. At least learn how to spell and string a sentence together so the joke is coherent.
>>
>>569174687
fuck you im drunk
>>
What's the difference in an apple and a baby?


I don't cum all over an apple before I eat it.
>>
>>569168039
when somebody commits a crime they should be send back to their own country.
>>
>>569174771
>drunk
>can still solve captcha
>>
>>569175015
>implying drunk people can't read or type
>>
>>569169920

That last one is one of my favorites, as is this one:

What do you do with a blind, deaf, mute girl?

Break her fingers so she can't tell her mom.
>>
>>569175453
At least we know you're not black.
>>
Why did the cancer patient cross the road?
He was trying to get hit by a car.
>>
Whadya call 3 mexicans, 1 Chinese, and 3 Black men?

A lawn sprinkler. *Spic spic spic CHINK nigganigganigganigga*
>>
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plan for world peace:
>build kfc in some deserted area
>make all food free
>it's secretly a gas chamber
>>
What's 12 inches long and can make a woman scream all night?

Cot death.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdvGLdb0iNo
>>
>>569175579
so far this is the only one that got me to laugh
>>
whats red and crawls up your leg?
an abortion with homesickness
>>
What do you call a white person on fire?
A.Firecracker

What do you call a white salted teenager?
A.Salteen
>>
Ever had Ethiopian food?
>Neither have they
>>
>>569176606
What do you call someone trying to make racist jokes against whites?

Dumb nigger.
>>
a black man and a gypsy is in a car, whos driving?
The cop
>>
How do you starve a nigger?

Hide his food stamps underneath his work boots.
>>
>>569169430
Kek
>>
What color does a baby turn in a microwave?

I'm not sure, I was too busy jackin' off.
>>
What's long and hard on a nigger?

3rd grade.
>>
what did the native american girl say to her rapist?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes
>>
How was the Grand Canyon formed?

A little Jewish girl lost a penny down a rabbit hole.


How was copper wire invented?

Two Jews fighting over a penny.
>>
What do you call a nigger in a Ferrari?
Thief.

What do you call a nigger in a suit?
The defendant.
>>
September 11 - Bring your plane to work day!
>>
What's the difference between a black man and an elevator?
An elevator can raise a family.

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick?
A brick can get laid.

What's the difference between a ginger and a shoe?
Shoes have soles.
>>
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>>569169024
>>
>>569172398

lel
>>
You shouldn't make Holocaust jokes.
My grandfather died in Auschwitz.

He fell out of a sniper tower.
>>
a nigger is thrown off the top of a 60 story building. 3.5 seconds after the first nigger started falling, a second nigger was thrown out of a window on the 43rd floor- which nigger hit the ground first?
>
>
>who cares
>>
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>>569168039
>>
>>569180240
that's a coincidence, my grandfather died in auschwitz too, some jerk fell of the sniper tower.
>>
What do Jewish pedophiles say to children?

"Hey kid, want to buy some candy?"
>>
How do New Zealanders practice safe sex?

Mark the sheep that kick with a big red X.
>>
>>569169647
No no no no! Pizzas don't scream in the oven.
>>
>>569168039
I'm so stupid that i posted in this thread.
>>
What's the most intelligent thing that has ever come out of a womans mouth?

Einsteins dick.
>>
What's the difference between a train carriage and a miscarriage?

You can't eat a train carriage.
>>
What's the difference between nigger pussy and a basketball?

If you absolutely had to, you could probably eat a basketball.
>>
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What do you say to a woman with black and blue eyes

Nothing

You've already done the talking
>>
I was watching a film with my little boy earlier. He said, 'Dad I'm scared, is that woman going to die?'. I said 'Judging on the size of that horses cock, yes'.
>>
How do you make a dead baby look cute?
Staple it to a puppy.
>>
My girlfriend told me I was a pedophile. That's an awfully big word for a nine year-old.
>>
i walked past a kid with downs, and wondered if i have ever seen a nigger with downs..
then it hit me!! they sll have downs!!
>>
What's the thing that shines the most on a black guy?

The handcuffs.
>>
Why do the pizzas scream in the tree?

Because it was a 9 months penny.
>>
What's the difference between a baby and an eight ball?

You can't fuck an eight ball.
>>
>>569169337
for once?
>>
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>>569183118
congrats on typing 'nigger' for the first time. how are you enjoying 4chan so far, newfriend?
>>
What do you call a 100 year old nigger?
Antique farming equipment
>>
>>>569182479
anon posting cracky rarez!!! wtf
>>
>>569183118
I lost my virginity to a girl with downs.
I wanted my first time to be special.
>>
Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
Because he's black.
>>
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>>569170250

wow, is that ... is that a joke I haven't yet read on /b/ before? I'm gonna have to mark this day in the calender
>>
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>>569168039
Ever heard the legend of Klu Klux Knievel? He once tried to jump 100 niggers with a steamroller.
>>
so, i was on a bus full of nigs this morning and when i look to my right i see this typical fat nig with sausage fingers holding her coffee above her head and staring at the bottom of it intensely.
Think, "what is she looking for?"
>"her father"
>"Her baby dady"
>"Her Welfare check"
Laughing my ass off on the bus
then Metronomy - The Look starts playing on my mp4 and i imagine this fat bitch spinning around in the go-karts that the pigeons drive in tne video laugh even harder
Then see her pawing at her drink with her massive fingers
>"Like watching an ape try to open a themos"

Holy shit i'm loosing it at this point then her and her friends start hooping hollaring and clapping their hands and i immediately think of apes in a zoo sceeching.
>>
>>569168039
A 14 year old gang banger was gunned down by the police.
His mother was upset because it meant she would get less welfare
>>
>>569171086

the jews in the concentrations camps were not burned alive, they were gassed beforehand
>>
Africans have the best drinking games. Like; the last one to find the water dies…
>>
>>569184175
First, yes they were. Gassed at first, straight up torched later to save money, time and manpower. Do your research, moron.

Secondly, this is not the forum for a history lesson. And in the spirit of that:

What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
>>
>>569174996

always make me laugh
>>
What do you call a yellow Volkswagen beetle full of niggers?

A beef patty
>>
>>569169647
how come there's no Jews on Jupiter?

>it's a gas planet
>>
What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew?

Boy Scouts come back from camp.
>>
>>569184124
Then this one chick pulls out dryer sheets form her purse
>"Bitch usin dryer sheets as perfume"
im in the middle of laughing like a psychopath when i catch a quick glimpse of her wiping her arms down with the dryer sheets
>My sides leave orbit
just when i'm about to throw-up from laughing so hard they all get off and go to some school.
>>
>>569176606

What's going on when a dozend white guys run behind to black guys? The olympics.
>>
>>569178151

Ha!
>>
How do Ethiopians celebrate their child's first birthday?

By putting flowers on their grave.
>>
>>569180790

maybe my favourite joke
>>
what do you call a barn full of niggers?

antique farm equipment
>>
What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.
>>
How do you know when a nigger is pregnant?
When she pulls the tampon out, the cotton has been picked off.
>>
>>569184124

when I used public transportation in the US I thought the same - about all the Ameritards on the subway. "they act like they are actually real people."
>>
I called the Rape Advice Hotline today.

Turns out it's only for victims.
>>
I don't have anything against black people. I'd gladly buy one!
=======
I'm not racist, but asphalt's place is on the road.
=======
Why do niggas wear that long, white tshirts?
To showoff whos best at collecting cotton
=======
What's niggas' skin color?
Transparent - you can see all the shit inside
=======
What do you throw drowning nigga?
His wife and kids
=======
What's the sadist's guilty pleasure?
Give a kid a razor, tell him is a harmonica and see how kid's smile widens!
=======
What's the priest's punishement for molesting a boy?
Relocation to another church
=======
What's the best part of having sex with eight years old?
The crack of a breaking pelvis
=======
What do yo do when seeing levitating tv at night?
Drop that shit, you nigga!
>>
>>569184578

>Gassed at first, straight up torched later to save money, time and manpower. Do your research, moron.
I did and you are wrong. No people were (intentionally) burned alive in any concentration camp.

>What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
>They both died at 95.
That shit is funny.
>>
>>569184893
>dryersheets
thats some ratchet ass shit
>>
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>>569185753

>What's the priest's punishement for molesting a boy?
>Relocation to another church
>>
>>569170453
Do you know what the worst part us? Getting the blood out of your clown costume.
>>
>>569168990
You do realise that the hyphen negates the joke — it would work without it, dumbass
>>
What's the difference between a nigger and snow tires? Snow tires dont sing when you put chains on them
>>
>>569168039
what happens if you mate a nigger with an octopus ?

no clue, but it's hella good at picking cotton
>>
How could you offend a tyre!
>>
>>569170931
What's green and blue and lives in my basement...
Your daughter!


I like my girlfriends as my whisky: twelve years old and locked inside my basement
>>
>>569181134
If you said sandniggers instead of New Zealanders, that would have actually been good.
>>
>>569186425
You wouldn't need to put chains on snow tires actually
>>
>>569169337
only once bro?
>>
>>569187071
but sheep fuckers are all over nz
>>
>>569187071

wait, don't mix up the racist clichees:

New Zealanders fuck sheep (like the Welsh)
and Sandniggers fuck camels
>>
>>569187327
sand niggers also fuck goats
and babies
>>
I like my coffee how I like my slaves, black and strong.
>>
What do niggers and bicycles have in common?
They both need to have a chain on them before they will work properly.

What do you call it when a Nigger has an abortion?
Crime prevention

Why do you only ever see fast Niggers?
The slow ones are all in jail.

Why do niggers only have nightmares?
Because we killed the last one that dared to have a dream.
>>
You guys are fucking up, you have to use terrorist and hacker terms
>>
>>569187437

really? I thought it was camels and maybe donkeys.

and hillbillies fuck pigs? I might not be up to date on this
>>
What did the little girl get for her birthday?

Cancer!

What did she get for christmas?

Nothing! She died!
>>
>>569187071
and columbians fuck donkeys
>>
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>>569187071
Put on the dunce cap and sit in the corner retard.

>>569187327 >>569187437 >>569187939
>Sandniggers
-Goats, Camels, Donkeys and Children
>New Zealanders
-Sheep.
>Hillbillies
-Pigs, all relatives, maybe Bears.
>Australians
-Kangaroos
>Tasmanian Australians
-Their cousins
>>
>>569184894
"Fleeing suspect, officers in pursuit"
>>
What do you get when you slice a baby with a straight razor?
>an erection
>>
>>569169325
KINASHI
>>
Brother and sister are having sex, and sister says
>You're better than dad
Brother says,
>Mom said the same thing
>>
>>569176075
Oh damn this guy still makes videos!? I use to watch him as a kid, but kept getting his video/channel removed.
>>
What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my cock down your throat.
>>
What do you call it when you purposely lose a present you didn't like?
Caylee Anthony

What do you call dumb childraping cunts?
SJW (yes most of them are into kiddy porn)
>>
>>569186079
Aaaand the depressing reality is that this is not a joke, but a fact.
>>
>>569186425
never been to Switzerland, eh?
>>
What would you call the Rolling Stones if they were black?

>niggers

Why do black people only have nightmares?

>we shot the last one who had a dream

What do you call the piece of useless skin around a vagina?

>a woman

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

>hit her

Have you tried Ethiopian cuisine?

>neither have they

How do you kill 50 flies at once?

>hit an Ethiopian in the face with a shovel

What do Ethiopian children do at night?

>starve
>>
>>569168039
I for one supported sanction on South Africa in the 80s

>because I hated black people

.. Please note, i'm presuming that the average reading age of /b is 30+ here
>>
What do you say to an African jew?

BACK of the oven
>>
>>569170007
>a Black

That's not even a sentence you dumb fuck

>are your mum and dad also your aunt and uncle?
>>
>>569181490
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7vXSSi0BP58
>>
>>569176764
Yes, and it wasn't bad. Curried goat I believe
>>
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>>569169005
>>
>>569181490
What the smartest thing to come out of a raving faggots mouth

>Alan Turing's dick
>>
What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby, when you go jumping on trampoline, you take off your shoes
>>
>>569193312
This is a joke thread, not a diversity thread, faggot.
>>
Whats the difference between a park bench and a nigger?
>A park bench can support a family of 4
>>
>>569183963
Thanks anon
>>
How many jews can you fit into a car? 5, one in the driver seat, one in the passenger seat, three in the back and none in the ashtray because the holocaust never happened
>>
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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man?

A pizza can feed a family of 5.
>>
>>569175579
best joke in thread
>>
>>569193816
Why do all Jews have red dicks?

>because they're all a bunch of tight fisted wankers

Feel better anon?
>>
>>569180240
>>569180489
My grandfather died in auschwitz after he was accidentally shot by a soldier when some other soldier fell on him fro ma snipe tower
>>
>>569195236
My grandfather died in Auschwitz

>he wasa jew
>>
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>How many niggers does it take to roof a house?
Depends how thin you slice em.
>>
>>569192439
neither "a black" nor "a black man" are a sentence you fuckwit. The word you're looking for would be "phrase". If you insult people's intelligence, please make sure you aren't actually MORE stupid.
>>
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>>569194239
>>
Why do black people get February as their own month?

Because we get the other 11.

Why do bottles of aspirin have a cotton ball in the top?

To remind niggers that they were cotton-pickers before they were drug dealers.
>>
>>569184825
>What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew?
>Boy Scouts come back from camp.
holy shit anon my cheeks hurt from smiling
>>
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>>569177352
As someone who lives near an Indian reservation and deals with them every so often, I can appreciate this joke for it's realism.
>>
>>569197127
So you wrote 'a Black' in a phrase?

I'm not sure if I'm more saddened by your absolute lack of literacy or delighted by the fact that you've done so well despite never having gone to school.
>>
>>569180240
My grandpa was in auschwitz, he worked as a gate guard
>>
>>569185248
Sweeeeeet
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