Who's the biggest retard/creep you've ever met /b/?

Bumping for interest.

>>565164225
You from San Diego? My nephews friend did some shit like that .

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More OP

>>565164225
more

>see him next year
>same chemistry class
>thoughtiwasdonewiththisshit.avi
>he goes around class everyday talking at people
>no one listens
>no one cares
>he talks about battlefield guns politics and historical battle bullshit
>he feels the need to talk at me the most
>he's also obsessed with skyrim
>he brags about how he understands the dragon language
>he speaks it in class all the time
>girl next to me starts humoring him
>he gets girls phone number
>tells her he loves her
>known for 2 weeks
>she has a boyfriend
>he knows this
>whatthehell.avi
>she turns him down politely
>he says "you should date me I'm so nice to you."
>retard confuses her with retard logic
>he storms off and starts to act out shooting her

continue?

>>565167039
Yes pls

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>>565167039

>>565167039
>continue?
Faggot just post it

>>565167039
The only retards in this thread are the ones enjoying your shitposting. FFS just stop.

bumpin'

>>565167039
more. Is this guy actually retarded, or just a faggot?

Moaaar

>>565167360
Don't listen to this faggot, OP keep going

>be me in high school at lunch
>Everyday 3 speds sat at the table next to us
>We came up with names for them
>The first one was Pubeman because he had hair that looked exactly like pubes
>The second was Crispy
>everytime we got French fries, he would walk around and ask people for their burnt, crispy fries
>the last was Jewy and/or Marco Polo
>people would throw pennies around the room and he would go chase after them
>Also, everyday he would read a map while he ate
>Sometimes it was geography books
>Other times it was fucking atlases
>A few times he brought in a car road map
>One time he brought a fucking globe

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>>565164225
hurry the fuck up OP

What I really want to know is whether he was doing finger pistols or a full on rifle pantomime.

>>565167998
dito

>>565167320
+1

>>565167960
10/10 story
Sounds like Marco is going places.
(Huehue)

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>>565167039
Just post it cool guy

>>565164225
rotc is just full of retards man

>one day during class retards ass is hanging out
>everyone in class is snickering at him
>decides to be nice guy
>tell him he should pull his pants up because people are laughing at him
>retard goes off on me
>why do they always blame the messenger?
>after class he stands with his chest puffed out
>acting as if he's holding a rifle
>wegotabadassoverhere.jpg
>curiosity wins out
>asks him why he's doing that
>he speaks in a bad british accent in skyrim dragon language
>confused by retard
>bell rings
>thankgod.jpg

continue?
Anyone else have any stories?

Bumpin

>>565167960
not op lol

keep going

>>565168097
Full on rifle

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>>565167039

>>565168290
moar

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>>565168290
Type this shit out fasster

>>565168290
>not auto-continuing
are you for real nigga? continue

>>565168290
keep going op

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>>565168290
This guy

>>565168290
Op stop being a faggot and just continue.

Well I think I may have a story but it probably won't be good since middle school memory is pretty spotty but I'll try

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I went to school with the kid that had a hit list on his scientific calculator. Got expelled for it.
>tfw he was small, and looked like a mini Harry Potter. His name was Curtis Beavers I think?

>>565168748
Start it nigga

>>565168290
stop fucking asking and just write the story.
>inb4 walk the dinosaur

>>565168290
Thank god the bell rang and saved you. Didn't they gave a show based around thus concept? Wait you're probably not old enough to understand the reference.

>be me
>be 14
>kid is obsessed with skyrim
>skyrim is like 3-4 years old

Underage b&

>>565168781
I once got suspended because I had one of those Harbor Freight knives that looked like a key.

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Guys go listen to this if youre into nigger music

op got saved by the bell
little shit could've noscoped u

>>565168950
ha you're right
lurking anyways

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>>565168950
>underage b&
>be 14
>skyrim is 4 years old

>>565164225
i went to this school. grove city, and i heard about this. who is this?

>>565168950
He was obsessed with Skyrim when OP was 15. 15 + 3 = 18.

>OP becomes friends with drama club tech people
>retard was in tech
>thisisgonnabegood.avi
>retard was first in backstage crew
>retard decides to harass two girls and gets moved to tech
>tech is composed entirely of girls
>goodchoicedramaclub.jpg
>tech booth is small rectangle
>through out time retard is smelling their hair touching their shoulders general harassing
>finally during play retard decides to touch himself while stroking their hair
>they can't do anything because they are in middle of performances
>he continues to touch his cock
>they can hear his breathing increase
>he yelps as he cums
>he doesn't wash his hands
>the report him later
>he gets in argument with grandmother over the phone
>he gets kicked out of drama club

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>Be me
>Faggot iwth a small group of friends,
>WAlk into bathroom
>See this autistic tall nigger from the 'Special class' looking in the mirror swinging his dick around
>What
>The
>Fuck?
>He turns to look at me
>I burst out laughing and I rush back to class
>Tell everyone
>Get popular

Thanks for being a faggot and making me get friends

>>565168950
rekt

>>565169479
>jacking it in public places

alfalfa as fug

>>565169479
haha

>>565169479
this retard sounds like he browses /b/ daily.

>>565169325
let me clarify, who is this OP

dont get me wrong that guy was all sorts of strange

Once met some asian chick living in texas that visited /b/, she started camwhore out of nowhere and i got her to wrap herself in with toiletpaper, next day she started cutting herself while she was on the webcam, blocked her and never talked to her again.

I recorded it but my computer crashed losing all my shit.

>>565168950
who fucking cares

This is the story of a kid name named Daniel
>I've known him since around the 2nd I believe
>troubled kid
>always got bullied
>he was the booger boy who would wipe boogers on everybody
>fast forward to 4th 5th grade where popularity started to form
>of course he wasn't popular
>I wasn't really either but i wasn't as hated
>anyways me and a buddy would always fuck around with him for lulz
>was a runescape fag so whenever we'd see him we'd always say runescape in some weird voice I can't really explain
>we would always get him to go around and say stupid shit and he would fart on people
>this nigga would ripsaws though

I'm just doing jibberish now but I will try to remember the later years

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>>565164225
old "friend"
>be at a party of a guy i know that just turned 18
>fucking hot chick invited me to go with her
>damn straight
>arrive at the party
>"friend" was there
>"friend" has acne problems, fat and literally can't stop following me
>ohshit.jpg
>try to ignore him and go dancing with the chick
>he breaks in pushing us both just to talk to me
>"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"
>"nothing man, just check my dance moves"
>chick gets away and stays the whole night with another guy
>literally start crying internally and tried to spend the time remaining at the party alone
>"friend" followed me into place where nobody could see
>get out of that place and people start calling us gay
>chick looks weird at me
>mfw

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This one time in high school I fed this retarded kid "the hottest hot sause in the world", he ended up trying to be tough guy retard to impress this chick and downing the whole bottle and he stared sweating really bad. He got up and started walking to the teacher and then he fell over and started convulsing. An ambulance had to be called and all that shit, the police actually took my hot sause bottle because someone in my class told them I fed it to the retard but I didn't get into any trouble. Pretty awesome watching that retard seize out on some intense hat sause to be honest.

>>565169318
This means he's 18 unless the retard showed up to the skyrim party late

>>565170249
or just never left the party

>>565164225
God damn ROTC kids. An ROTC kid threatened to shoot up my high school one time and everyone lost their shit and he got suspended

>>565169479
OP are you rayvon?

>school year is nearing a close
>chem teacher is pregnant
>get ginger faggot teacher as sub the whole year
>retard makes him cringe
>basically makes fun of him rest of school year
>asshole jocks rightfully make fun of him
>retard says in a nasally voice "You know, one day we're gonna be older and us nerds are going to be ruling the world."
>whothehellsaysthatinthmiddleofclass.jpg
>retard returns to acting like he's shooting people with a machine gun while speaking dragon
>his ass still hangs out
>he never learned to wear a belt

So when I was in elementary school there was this kid named Danny. He was a total ass hole for years. Got beat up everyday. The principle lets him leave school 10 minutes early everyday to avoid getting his ass kicked. Did I mention hes an asshole?

>Be me
>12
>Riding bike around town
>"I hold dat you wall tulking bout my mum bitch"
>Me "Ya, so what of it?"
>Pushes me off my bike
>Unscathed, laughed at him
>Punched him square in the jaw
>Runs for his life

Couple days later I see him in school, I told my friends about what happened. Its like December something. I see he is in the playground talking to my buddy Eric. Hes a big dude, a football player.

>"You not big, Im bettol than you in futbill."
>Eric gets in Danny's face
>Ohman.png
>Rapid punches to the face.
>Danny's face is bloody and bruised.

He doesnt understand whatsoever. I have years worth of stories about him if interested. Trust me he is VERY beta.

>>565170113
Why didnt you slug the piece of shit?

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I'm staving off sleep for you OP hurry the fuck up.
>pic related

>>565170491
>>565170435

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>>565164225
>>565170418
>Freshman year at uni
>ROTC faggot starts vandalizing the dorms, flooding bathroom, breaking windows etc
>One day he gets drunk and sets the study lounge on fire
>mfw he's in jail for arson now

>>565170631
This. Please hurry.

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>>565170491
Don't tell me the ride is ending

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>>565169663
Wow now there is a guide on how to be a nigger.

>>565170565
>>565170565
MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>565170991
im no nigger

>>565171019
nigger

>>565170771
Christ almighty! fucking ROTC fags

>>565171019
Niggerrrrr nig nag niggy nig.

>>565171019
fucking nigger

>>565171085
kike

>>565169663
chuckled

>>565171019
NIGGER!

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I think OP's tale is prematurely over.

>>565171019
How does it feel to know that the white race is superior.

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>>565171038
Indeed, you are a nigger... Spiderman thinks so.

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>>565170109
>I remember Daniel use like cats
>but in like 7th grade
>start rucking with him even more
>we tell him to do "the six flags dance" and "the highschool musical dance" and he'd just dance while doing the theme to the 6 flags commercials
>shitsfunnyasfuck.png
>my lunch had this thing that who's ever lunch table was cleanest throughout the whole month would win free pizza with the table
>Daniels table won
> he got really excited
>fucking jumped on top of the table dancing his heart out while screaming the six flags theme song
>ohmysides.lul

Mfw he got in trouble for that and couldn't get any pizza

>Be me
>Be in 3rd year of Uni
>Meet this guy in a Intro to Buddhism Class
>Guy is alright, he asks, "what does the Buddha think about Dinosaurs"
>Professor flips out on him
>Meet guy at the campus pub and he buys me a drink
> Come second semester he's in 4 of my 6 classes
> Introduce him to some of my buddies in my major
>Completely normal first day and is just asking for contact info from friends for "class reasons"
> Guy begins creeping on girls
>Guys Cambodian and a fat fuck with neckbeard btw
>Cambodian fag begins giving creep names to friends who are girls
>Girls begin to complain to me about him and talk to him

Continue?

>>565171589
Oops went off topic, I suck at stories

>friends with retard on facebook
>friend recently broke up with girlfriend of two years
>sadtimes.jpg
>retard posts "Welcome to the club" and links a country song about being alone
>guy from chem class starts going off on him
>thisisgood.avi
>retard starts to guilt trip him
>chem guy doesn't fall for it
>retard posts "Why do people always feel the need to attack me?!"
>retard quits facebook
>retard doesn't come back
>endofstory.jpg

Had a drill sergeant in basic training. Young guy, like 25. Highly decorated. Preached constantly to us about doing the right thing no matter who was looking and how hard you have to work to get to where you are. One night he made us all stay up and clean the barracks, and he was going to come inspect it. We could only sleep after he had inspected it. He left us to clean for hours on end while he banged the fucking lunchlady in the CQ lounge. Never again have I met someone so low.

>>565171019
nigger piece of shit

>>565171818
OP DELIVARD
it sucked though so OP is still a faggot

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>junior year of high school, just moved to town
>mostly FOB chinks, make some non asian friends quick
>our school is "state of the art" so other districts ship their retards
>be hanging out in commons at lunch with friends
>in walks retard
>sits down in our group
>don't think much of it at first
>continue doing what we were doing
>retard then interrupts with bullshit
>painfully tries to be part of conversation
>only pisses everyone off
>harrases me for facebook info
>finally relent to get him to stop bothering me
>tfw im an idiot
>he now tries to talk to me 24/7
>talk to others in the group
>he does the same to them
>winter vacation, friends are away, sitting in kitchen with mom
>laptop and facebook open on counter
>compain that no one is around
>that exact moment retard asks to hang out
>never responded to any of his messages before
>mom sees message, says i should hang out with retard
>tell mom no, i would rather be lonely

pic related, is retard

>>565171818
hey rayvon

i used to see you on the walk home by the baseball fields every day. how are ya?

>>565170565
Pls

>>565171757
sure

>>565172031
it was okay

>>565172285
most of it was. ending sucked like OP sucks dicks

>>565172143
Not rayvon faggot

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>>565172076
tfw he got the bentlys and the plain white tee

>>565172143
It isn't Rayvon. Jaret?

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>>565171508
>white race is superior
What's the ideal white? The general assumption is Nordic/Aryian or however you spell it. Rome, while white-ish, was not the ideal white. It took a dirty white to unite all of the Whiter areas, who at the time were filthy nigger barbarians. Now I ain't saying nigger as in skin color, I mean nigger as in ignorant barbaric mother fuckers.

Now, after Rome fell due to bullshittery alllll the whites tried to pretend to be the dirty-whites that took 'em over. But they got their ASS handed to them by Muslims, again, and again, and again, and again. African Treasure Hunters, Islamic Warbands, mother fucking Turkish Raiders. All that shit. The only exception are vikings. But that's still a fraction of whites killing other whites.

It took a unifying religion to keep the whites from going full blown nigger, meanwhile while they ate scraps the Niggers/Sand Niggers built a fucking Empire and were the bane of Europe for well over 400 or so years, up until the whites learned how to fucking sail to the west, or go south enough.

I'm not saying this as a supporter of either white or black or yellow or red. I'm sayin this to you dumbass mother fuckers that keep thing "superior" anything. I lulz so hard from you shits referring to that.

>>565172409
keaton?

who the hell are you

>>565172531
Nope

>>565171757

>talk to Cambodian Neck beard about his creep level.
>He tells me he'll chill
>Come in the next class and calls the girls bitches and that he is sorry
>Girls flip out on him and he ask them if they are on their period.
>During class he begins texting the one he calls "Princess Leia" if she wants to go to a concert of Dave Matthews
>She freaks out because she never told him and he mentions he knows it's one of her favorite artist.
>Cambodian Fat ass sends her pics of tickets he already bought.
>He tells her that she has to put out

Continue?

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>>565171818
Atleast we know it's ended. Op takes off -5 from his faggot meter.

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>be me 6th grade
>taking all school testing
>we're on a break so i sit next to my buddy and have a chat
>kid who's seat im in is a major autist
>he comes back from the bathroom
>tells me to leave his seat
>fuckoff.jpg
>starts screaming and gets under the desk
>literally stabs me with a pencil
>shits in my thigh like 3 inches deep
>blood everywhere
>kick the autist in the face and break his nose
>he starts shouting "i fucking hate you" to every kid in room one by one
>teacher yells at me
>i get suspended for provoking him
>mfw fucker only had to see a psychiatrist for a week and is back the next day

>>565172531
that's his post gym selfie

his hairline actually stop above his ears, so he has to grow his hair like that to cover it. he always posts on facebook and insta about his fucked up hair. imagine a bald guy wearing a jew cap. the area represented by the cap would be where he has hair.

i have some more stories about him and the other retards at my school, if anyone is interested.

>>565172769
plz

>>565172938
interested

>>565172680
I know both Rayvon and Keaton and I dislike them. Who is the fellow gchs faggot?

>>565172938
Keep the thread going

>>565172767
there is literally so many people at Grove city highschool that use 4chan. its impossible to narrow it down. hows life there? is cheif and mike barry still around?

>>565173187
gonna stay anon

>>565173187
keaton is a great big pussy and rayvon is just annoying at his age. but yeah, right here.

>>565173380
Still shitty and overcrowded

>be me
>freshman year
>there's this guy, nick
>has autism or some form of mental retardation
>one day he comes up to me and my friends
>starts talking
>we ignore him
>he gets pissy
>I tell him "You have autism, now fuck off"
>he leaves
>I hear that he attempted suicide that night
>laugh hysterically

B&nned highschool fagz

>>565173741
cool man

>be at camp
>kid with obvious social disorder/ just one of those weird kids has always been in my cabin
>First night, everyone really tired
>3am we woken up to MOooooooom and higher pitched squal than pig
>Me a CIT and counsolor get him to shut up after i smother his face with a pillow to get him to stop
>Next day
>We be in water games doin ze blob, if u ben to camp u kno wat this is
>I blob first
>Look back to see tard at top of platform
>He Screams BLOBBER READYY
>I respond first
>Hear BLOB ON YEAUGHTFHGNDAA
>giant fucking spalsh
>Tard missed 15 by 4 foot blob
>proceeds to try and hit on girls by telling them the story
>Three days later tries to kill himself and gets sent home

>>565173741
what a shame, your mom probably raised you better too.

>be year 11 at private boys school, Sydney
>there is also this one kid that went there when he was in year 8
>only about 5 foot tall but not a midget, just really small and adorable really.
>one day it turns out he'd compiled a giant word document list containing detailed plans for the murder and rape of a bunch of different other students
>also featured a chart detailing about 20 students with their estimated penis size and actual size.

One plot went a little like this:

>go over to friends house for a sleepover
>play in the pool, challenge him to a breath holding contest
>drown him whilst its his turn
>pull body out and lay on the cement
>suck his dick
>put dick in ear

I cant remember how it ends or how he planned on getting away with any of them, but yeah. He was forever known as "dick in ear" kid from then on after he bailed from school.

>>565173741
Thats kind of dickish huh?

>>565172769

>Cambodian fucker is in the back row 6 seats away
>Cant do Shit while he's pulling bullshit
> Princess Leia sending me texts of what he is doing
>Class ends and I shove him to a wall
>He's about 5'2"
>I'm 5'11"
>Fucker begins crying and saying sorry to me
>Tell him to cut the Shit out
>Fucker made Facebook friends with everyone the first day
>He begins messaging all the girls and telling them how beautiful they are during 3 day weekend
>Fucker is creeping hugely and sending weird text like at 1am saying "I miss you"
>Cambodian freak is poking friends on Facebook and friending people I know
>Super FUCKING lurker too, comments on anything someone post on my wall
>Fucker posts Shit about Justin Beaver

Continue?

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>>565173113
>e] [Auto] 1 new post
they are mostly short, and more my observations than my interactions

heres one

>have freeblock to study APs
>tfw you have best place to relax in school mostly to yourself
>be studying/shooting shit with 9/10
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>head teacher of retard troup asks if we had seen a retard
>tfw retard is loose in school
>we say no
>suddenly hear retard sounds from corner of room
>look at corner of room
>mfw cant see retard, only table
>teacher of retards is trained
>can smell autism in the air
>retard has wedged himself between the table leg and the corner of the wall
>we were in there for 45 minutes and we didn't even notice the retard was there
>teacher of tards takes 30 minutes to try and reason to get retard out of corner
>retard was 16, acting like a 3 year old

more?

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>>565173741

Good on ya mate, you're an internet toughguy.

>>565173960
Anon I need to know who you are

Three of them are my neighbors.

> three brothers
> All of them never, ever wash their hands, only read one piece and call it literature, shoot airsoft and are wannabe nazis; as well as were homeschooled for most of their life
> Oldest is barely finishing HS, anger problems. When he clears his throat he makes a raptor screech/cum guzzling sound. Yells for the smallest things, another neighbor kid was playing street hockey with his buds and didn't want the youngest playing; this nigger gpes and yells at him. The second things get physical he claims he'll shoot you or get his dad.
> middle kid is about 14, haven't seen him outside in literally 2 years apart from in a car or at McDonalds. Wore diapers until he was 12, might still be. Same raptor/cumguzzing shit.
> Youngest is about 8, best out of all of them. Shits himself around every other month, broke his leg trying to reenact one piece or some shit.
> All of them play WoW at least 6 hours a day.

>>565172938
What are you talking about?

>>565169143
That tape sucked imo, Travis Scott could have did much better.

>>565170109
Are you sure his name was Daniel? That reminds me of somebody I remember

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Lurker here, not that good at greentext but here goes.
>be me
>middle school
>log onto Facebook and notice that I have a friend request.
>it's some weird white trash that I've seen walking to school.
>I accept,
>whatcouldpossiblygowrong.jpg
>he messages me a couple minutes after I accept.
>"hey, you wanna text? I wanna text new people"
>me being the dumbass I am give him my number.
>he messages me and asks if I want to play a game.
>I ask him what it's about.
>he tells me it's called the dick sucking game.
>"what the fuck is that?"
>"We dare each other to do something and the person that can't do their dare has to suck the winners dick"
>"are you fucking gay?"
>"no, it's just a game, im straight I, I have a girlfriend"
>"uh yeah whatever, fuck off homo"
>after about 30 minutes of me telling him to fuck off I block his Facebook and block his number.
>a couple days later I saw him walking outside a couple blocks away from my house.
> I shouted "Andrews a cocksucking faggot"
> he turns around scared, but he didn't know it was me.
Sorry if my story is bad /b/ros

>be me
>junior year this time
>someone drops a bomb threat on the school
>at break
>decide to yell out "I have a bomb" as a joke
>get tackled by school cop
>start laughing
>handcuffs me
>searches my bag
>laugh even harder
>searches me
>doesn't find a bomb
>lets me go

>>565174071
>>565174097
Fuck off
"Continue?"
"More?"
If i have to see this on every fucking post then no i dont want to see more, faggot.

>>565174376
im batman


but nah seriously just email me
[email protected]

>>565167039
>he's also obsessed with skyrim

skyrim in hs, i was past college when it came out in 2011, great now i feel old.

>>565167039
Of skyrim was out when you were 15 you shouldn't be here

>>565167039
feels

>>565170084
Nice try op

>be me, a 14 year old white kid
>class full of beaners and niggers (live in socal)
>one other white kid in class
>he sees me
>pats seat next to him like im a fucking dog or something
>sit down across the class
>he stares
>he doesn't stop staring

>>565174836
fucking faggot, that isn't funny it is just fucking stupid

>>565174071

>Tell the fucker to cut it out
>Only three weeks in on a 14 week semester
>Cambodian Fat ads begins confessing to all my friends who are girls.
>Cambodian Fucker also begins messaging my friends on Facebook telling them they're beautiful
>FUCKING flooded with people asking me who the fuck this neckbeard is
>FUCKING losing my Shit
>Cambodian fat ass is destroying my social circle.
>Delete his ass and block him and warn people about him
>Fucker text me, "Why did you delete me, I'm sorry man. I love you"
>I'm in awe of this fuckers autistic level
>Dont reply and wait....
>I wait......
>Day of moment comes
>Find him and follow him into bathroom and grab him by the neck and tell him to fucking stop.
>Cambodian fuck begins yelling, "Rape"
>Fucking I drop him and walk out.
>Fucker comes in class in tears
>People ask him what's wrong
>Nervous as fuck
>Neck beard says someone tried to rape him, doesn't mention me
>What the fuck is this guy?

Cont?

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>>565164225
>be me
>17 y/o senior in high school (inb4 underage ban; this was in 2010)
>get placed in class where I have to be the assistant for the retarded kids teachers
>main teacher is blonde qt3.14 with short hair; she's the only reason I looked forward to that part of the day
>9/10 would bang her
>massive ginger faggot named William is in there
>William was so severely autistic, they had to place him in special ed
>he'd wheeze while bobbing his head up and down while snapping his fingers for no reason
>would also get buttmad when he wasn't allowed on computers
>he ALWAYS either started his sentences with "Hey buddy" and/or ended them with "y'know?"
>everyone knew this kid to be a massive faggot who always got buttmad when people didn't want to socialize with him

Background aside, here's the scoop on my personal experience with William.

>doing paperwork for hot blonde mentioned earlier (her name was Ms. Elliott)
>William walks up to me
>"Hey buddy"
>areyoufuckingkiddingme.png
>William tries to talk to me
>ignore him
>"What's your name?"
>I tell him I'm trying to work in peace and quiet (I hate this faggot, and I was also baked out of my mind from smoking weed during off-campus lunch break)
>He then makes a scene
>"Now everybody quiet down, so he can say his name, y'know?"
>teachers ask me to tell him my name
>okayfine.jpg
>"My name is Anon"
>"Anon? Is that your name?"
>tell him I'd like to work in quietude
>buttmad engaged
>"Hey buddy, you don't want to talk to me?"
>teachers ask him to leave me alone
>"DO YOU THINK I'M ANNOYING?"
>teachers tell him to calm down
>continue doing my work
>"I can't wait 'til he get outside, so we can go at it."
>lol this faggot actually thinks he can fight me
>"I think he's threatening me"
>"Okay, okay, ya got me"

That's the only story I can remember (and not even that well, honestly), but I do have a list of stories from my senior year of high school I can dig through for more of William. Should I, /b/ros?

>>565175573
thats fucking hilarious. quit being a faggot

>>565168887
What the fuck dude

>>565175573
Well this thread is about retards and creeps.

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>>565164225
i remember i got bullied by tards in 5th/ 4th grade
pic related its me

>>565175317
15 + 3 = 18

>>565164225
>>565168213

dont call JROTC "ROTC"
Include that fucking J

in the real ROTC all we fucking do is laugh at the JROT kids that come to our events

>>565164225
how are you always with retard
and is that the pic of the retard?

>>565169143
he sucks listen to this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7df7nG9JZQ

>>565174535
Wow.
Pics?

>>565176174
that is him, i went to this school. not OP though

>be me
>sophmore year
>biology fucking sucks
>find a new biology book
>write shit down about how 9/11 was funny and how I killed niggers for a living on the front cover
>it gets discovered by the class niggers
>they try to intimidate me
>laugh them off
>they didn't do anything
>I get called up to the office
>the vice principal asks me why I wrote this
>I said because I find it funny
>He tells me he doesn't see how anyone can find it funny
>I say well maybe we have a different sense of humor
>he makes me see the school psychiatrist
>talks to me about the writing
>psychiatrist gets me
>tells me that I just got caught fucking around
>gives me the advice to do it on a piece of paper or my notebook next time

>>565176121
JROTC and ROTC are all the same. full of wannabe faggots

>>565175524
>live in socal
Anywhere in Long Beach?

>>565174071
....Go on....

>>565175524

>Nowthatswhaticalledgy.jpg

>>565175767
Sounds like you hardcore pussed out of a fight.

>>565176712
JROTC is a fucking club you join just 'cause

ROTC is a necessary commissioning pathway responsible for 80 percent of officers. We don't do it for fun, it's HOW to commission.

What don't you get?

>>565175730
Nigga yes continue, don't even have to ask anon just keep going

>>565176440
It's like seeing an endangered species to see them outside, plus I'd rather not have some pasty weird kids pictures.

>>565177090
I figured it'd be easier to just get the teachers to discipline him for threatening me, and I'd probably get in trouble for retard abuse or something stupid like that.

>>565177230
pretty sure they're both clubs people join so they can walk around like they have big cocks

>>565176679
In general, the stories are about autists, not by autists.

>>565171757
>what did Buddha think about dinosaurs
holy hell haha

>>565170565
pls mooooaaaar

Don't you fucking die on me.

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>>565173917

>>565175730

>Confront Cambodian asshole in the halls
>Cambodian fuck begins to cry and I leave him alone
>Fucker stop for two weeks
>One of the girls he calls "Cyclops" (She wears glasses) tells me that he is walking behind her to her car for the past week after her classes end on Tuesday and Thursday
>Ask friend to walk in the courtyard when her class start to see if Cambodian neckbeard is anywhere to be seen
>Friend tells me he is, fucker doesnt move from spot for Hour and 20 minutes until she leaves her class
>He begins following her from what he tells me and then walks away once she's in her car
>He does this two more times until she confronts him and he confesses his love for her
>She freaks out and says no
>Fucker from her tale tells me he begins to cry
>Next day in class he bring flowers and a card confessing his love for her
>Cyclops is freaking out
>I go to Campus Security, Head of Department fucking everywhere to complain about him
>Say they'll investigate
>No one does shit
>I at least hear he stops following cyclops
>Fucker continues to send me "I miss you texts"
>I begin hooking up with one of the girls he creeps on that he calls "Beautiful"
>One day we are kissing and he sees us
>Fucker begins yelling, "Nooooooooooo!"
>Fucking loses it
>Comes into class and begins calling me a scumbag
>Whatthefuck.jpg
>He tells me to leave her alone
>She is fucking terrified
>I'm in awe of this neckbeard fully red in the face and almost about to cry
>He begins yelling shit about how she is his and not mine and all this shit
>Professor walks in on his rant and tells him to leave
>Fucker text me 5 minutes later saying, "It's coming"

>>565177562
a lot of that goes around, sure. But you do understand that it's a training program that's one of only three types of officer ascension?

if you dont like the faggotry you can always go to one of the academies... but thats a hundred times worse, not to mention difficult as fuck to get into

or you could always do the classic "ima just graduate and go to OCS" which i lol at like three times a week. they commission a whopping TWO percent of officers... goodluckwiththatshit.jpg

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>>565178406
Go on.

>>565178406
Gogogogogogo

>>565178406
>It's coming

Oh boi

>>565178487
so know let me ask: where you a homo before ROTC? or did they teach it to you?

>be me
>freshman year again
>hot scene girl I was friends with in 8th grade gets even hotter
>she's a dancer
>fuckyes.jpg
>sneak into her dancing class, was the last period of the day and I fucking hated language arts
>she finds me
>we ditch the last period of the day
>sohardcore.jpg
>head off to the mall that was close by
>neither of us have a phone and it's getting dark
>say fuck it and decide to buy dinner somewhere
>ask her out when food arrives
>says yes

fast forward a couple of weeks

>going strong
>pep rally one night
>knew this would be the night
>we both arrive way before the rally starts
>go to the top of the bleachers
>sit in the corner
>decide to just chat
>wait until it gets dark
>take her under the bleachers
>make out
>put my hand down her shirt
>gets tired of making out
>gives me a bj
>I eat her out and fuck her under the bleachers

There's a decent follow up story to this one.

>>565179123
continue

>>565179123
youre autistic

>>565179123
Is the Autist in the follow up story?

>>565178406

>Totally just confused, I know the next class he'll be there
>Go to next class fucker is with a hood on in the corner
>Don't know what the fuck to do
>Fucking none of us want our backs next to him
>We all sit in the opposite wall in the last row so at least we can have some eyes on him and distance
>Class is tense as this fuckers leg is just shaking up and down in class every few seconds
>Class ends and as we walk to our cars this fucker is right behind us with his hood on
>At this point I catch security by the eye and motion them to fuckin cambodian creep
>Guys spring into action and surround him asking him to take off hood
>He begins to say no and to move out of way
>We keep walking and get to our cars to live another day
>Apparently he begins sending dick pics to all the girls numbers
>Fucking asian cocks 2-3"
>Finally get evidence and send it to campus security and faculty in major
>Next day we hear that Cambodian fuck has been escorted off of campus and is expelled
>Since then I have received around 20+ messages of "I miss you". Still havent changed my number

end

>>565170084
underage detected

>>565179507
Ending was boring.
6/10

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>>565179086
you even been to college bud?

>>565179123
>fast forward another few weeks
>I get hit by a fucking ford explorer while skating
>in a coma for 5 days w/ a broke ankle
>wake up to a bunch of presents and shit from my 3 main skating bros
>they tell me that our parents agree that if we want to skate anymore we have to wear helmets
>fuckno.jpg
>have screws and a metal plate in my ankle
>what happened in the hospital is boring shit
>fast forward 1 month
>out of hospital
>can finally walk after a few months
>doctor tells me I can skate again
>fuckyeah.jpg
>parents won't let me
>fuck them
>buy a $30 craigslist skateboard
>skate it up for 1 day
>parents catch me
>hide my skateboard that I bought
>find it
>lol
>skate it up again
>they begin to not give a shit again
>hell yeah
>shit gets back to normal

>>565169479
a new classic is born

>>565180005
can you stop posting

>>565180005
I think you're the autist

>>565180190
>no

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>>565180005
... Are you the cringe-worthy retard?

>>565179975
ever done anything productive with your life?

>>565180005
Lurk a bit more bud.

this spic that would always hit on me in school when i was 16. I wasnt it was just awkward as fuuuuck cuz its like how i flirt wiith teh beetches this dude is coming at me. He was ugly as fuck to i aint gay but i could of done better im a sexy piece of ass but he was persistent. god damn spics

>>565180261
Well I did get hit by a car, that requires some form of mental retardation

>>565180353
Like go to college?

>continue?
Learn how to tell a cohesive, concise story you fucking turd.

>>565180415
Lurk harder and read a dictionary.

>>565180304
Not the one OP is talking about, but I'm sure I've made an appearance in some stories

>>565180667
Heaven, I got a worm too if u want it.

>>565180703
Your such a pussy. Fucked a girl under the bleachers my ass. Bet you won't even post a picture of yourself.

>>565180353
>>565180539
lol for real,

wut

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>>565180802
Is it that fucking hard to spell "you" correctly?

>>565180539
>implying college is productive
didn't know getting into insane amounts of student debt and wasting at least 4 years of your life learning nothing useful counted as productive

>>565181139
I can't at the moment, my phone is broken and I don't own anything to take a picture of myself with

>>565179507
ending was meh

>>565174071
topkek, this guys just a white knight manlet, and also a faggot.
>beaver

>Be Me Senior year
>someone drops a bomb threat on the school
>at break
>fag decide to yell out "I have a bomb" as a joke
>get tackled by school cop
>Fag starts laughing
>Cop handcuffs fag
>searches fags bag
>Fag laughs even harder
>Cop searches fag
>Cop doesn't find a bomb
>Cop lets fag go
>Fag becomes social pariah
>Fag is found to be a autistic

>>565179507
Gay ending, but overall 8/10 story, needs more dragons and shit

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>Hornswaggle
>Be me
>usmc technition at the time
>hate life
>there is but one hope
>Hornswaggle.
>Hornswaggle was the an idiot
>fat, didnt know his job, fucking beta run of the mill idiot
>Hornswaggle wouldnt stop complaining about badly he had to shit
>tell him to take a shit and hurry the fuck up
>says all stalls are taken
>how the fuck is this my problem
>Hornswaggle says he'll "brb"
>Hornswaggle runs behind the gear lockers
>I continue to sweep the floor
>He comes back sweating
>Ask what happened
>he runs inside
>I go to grab the dust pan behind the gear lockers
>mfw theres a giant shit behind the lockers
>mfw he tried to clean it with one boot sock
>one boot sock
>its now inside the shit
Godamn it Hornswaggle

>>565181679
>usmc technition at the time

A real marine would know how to spell the word "technician."

>>565181517
>>565179939
>>565181639

I know shit ending, but that was the best i got in life

>>565181679

>usmc technition at the time
>technition

>>565181797
>marine
Not Airforce. You got your branches confused.

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>>565181343
dude i just asked because you obviously have no idea what im talking about. you have no idea what rotc is


ps: im joining the military, theyve got the debt thing covered

pps: i was selected to be a navigator like goose from top gun

have YOU done anything productive with your life?

>>565181825
Then at least it's realistic.
Otherwise it was most amusing

>>565176121
In the real military all we fucking do is laugh at the ROTC niggers that try to be real men and fail.

>>565172905
Um... IT'S TAEP!

>>565182224
I'm not a slave to the military industrial complex. I don't invade foreign countries and kill their civilians, or steal their oil. That's at least the opposite of counter-productive.

>>565182224
i havent met anyone thats an officer or who wants to be an officer that wasnt a massive douche. looks like you fit the bill

>>565182239
I bet you laugh at babies too bud: looking all small trying to be people...

But everybody big starts out as a baby, don't they

I've already been to Field Training, I've already passed selection. Assuming I don't die between now and then I'm on contract with a guaranteed commission.

Laugh it up, pretty soon I'll be out of your paygrade

and dont forget to solute faggot

>>565183371

Nobody cares....

>be sophomore year
>new kid comes in quiet as fuck
>eventually starts talking
>says shit about how he would piss on cars
>it was a free day in one of our classes so we're playing cards
>fuck joins in
>we're playing this card game where everyone gets a deck and they place a card down, if dubs comes down (like 4 of clubs, then 4 of spades) you slap it and grab the whole lot of cards
>he's so late in reaction and keeps slapping everyone's hands
>freaks out because he lost and ruins the math art kids project
there's a lot more of him. have screencaps of fb convos where he makes up freestyles and i catch him on stealing all of them. will post if interested

>>565182758
I wanted to fly, the only way to do that is to be an officer.

Everyone looks like a douche when they're trying to defend themselves.

You expect me to take it? lol ok

>>565183371
>wants to be officer
>can't spell salute
kek

>>565183594
somebodys a little butthurt

>>565183371
You'll probably do very well in the military. Lots of money and power. Have fun living alone. You'll find that if you act like that people will seriously fucking hate you, if they don't already. People like you are what make the military bad.

>>565183594

You Ok? Wanna talk about your feeling lil buddy?
Seems like anon might of said some mean things to you.
Anon probably didnt(did) mean it

>>565184158
fuck, i already hate him

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>>565183851
lol it looked weird but spell check didnt catch it...
its because a SOLUTE is part of a mixture

damn... i guess my point is invalid now

>>565183981
lol

>Guy joins the Marines, we'll call him john.
>Always brags about how he's killed 36 people in 14 different countries. (Yes I remember the numbers perfectly.)
>Never left the country, was briefly shipped like 6 hours north for training.
> Comes back suddenly with a bottle of moon shine and like 3 bags of spice freshly bought from the gas station.
>thefewtheproud
> Takes 3 steam roller hits in a row and bucks half the bottle.
>Begins to sob about how can't go back "to the shit" again.
>Picks fight with a friend of mine when he tells him to stop asking everyone if we want to go to the strip club
>Gets ass kicked
>Cries and says he just wanted to go because he's still a virgin
>He's 22
>Begins projectile vomiting
Literally kick him out of my backdoor
>Went Awall, never saw him again

He also said he could run 3 miles in under 10 minutes, pretty fat dude.

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>>565182570
That's the most productive thing I've ever heard of.
Getting oil while killing shitskins?
Damn good.

>>565184327
Stfu

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>Freshman year at Uni
>chilling with a bro at the Dining Hall
>his roommate comes up, and I've never met him
>"Hey dude, this is anon, he's a friend of mine" my friend tells him
>"Hey..."
>He's this tall (~6'5'') fucker wearing a trenchcoat, some ugly ass nikes, and a homestuck shirt
>Awe shit
>He sits down with us and out of fucking nowhere, pulls out a magical 8 ball
>whatthefuck.jpg
>using a knife he starts prodding it open and opens his trenchcoat up
>in the coat, there are three other 8balls and two gatorade bottles full of some mystery liquid
>I look at my friend, and when I look back, he's pouring the juice into another empty bottle he must have pulled out of his ass
>mfw

Apparently, he collects the juice for some fucking reason and nobody knows why. From that day on, he's known as 8-Ball to all my friends. And he's just one of the fucked up people that I've met on Campus, if people want I can mention others in smaller detail

>>565184327
Engaging backpedal mode.
That is not a very good example of "ayy lmao" either.

>>565184534
I want to hear this shit. This is fucking gold. People are beautiful

>>565184605
How is that even a backpedal?
He just admitted he was wrong.

>>565184947
cause he's a pussy, thats how

>>565184947
Fag is trying to admit he is wrong hoping heat goes away from him fagget

>>565183519
bump for interest

>>565183519
fucking love that game

>>565184158
Of course i totally get that

but read what i wrote, I dont fucking "play soldier"
I do what i need to do and only what i need to do. thats why i take offense to the ROTCfaggotry shit, we dont LIKE to play the game, we HAVE to. thats just how it is

so some faggot rolls in and says he laughs at ROTC for "trying to be men", its a little shortsighted.
My "talking tall" is reserved for anonymous imageboards exclusively, i assure you. I just like to take the opportunity to educate someone who doesnt understand how this system works
We dont play soldier, every starts small somewhere. I dont fucking laugh at recruits at basic training


because that would be stupid

>>565169318
skyrim came out in 2011 no?

this is the biggest fucking retard I know:

I went to high school with this kid who called himself The Shadow Poet. He would write supreme gentleman poetry. He would also draw symbols on paper like full metal alchemist shit I think and then bite his finger until it bled and curse my name while dripping blood onto the symbol. He fell in love with my gf and wrote her a 4 page front and back poem that we read with each other in private and were laughing hysterically. The Shadow Poet even accused some kid of molesting him by claiming he stuck a finger up his ass. This turned out to be false. One time he farted during the last period of the day and some girl called him out on it and he was so embarrassed he didn't come into school the next day.

>>565185092
>>565185113
So either he admits that he's wrong, or continues to pretend that he isn't?
Either way you're going to hate him.

>>565185440
I apologize
I SOLUTE you

>>565185113
>hoping heat goes away

lol i think we BOTH understand this is the internet bud. if i didnt enjoy this conversation i wouldnt be having it

>>565185529
We already hate him

>>565185529
exactly, fuck him

>>565185674
Hate you a little less

>>565185440
except 'playing soldier' is exactly what ROTC is all about

>>565185440
You'll change. I laugh at fucking boots, because I remember what it was like.
Everyone takes their shit so fucking seriously in the military. If you ever do deploy, you'll realize that none of this shit matters, and it really is just all some stupid fucking game. Be it for oil or whatever, it doesn't matter, it's all pointless.

>>565185649
yeah bud, i misspelled the word. tthats totally ridiculous and you were right to give me shit for it. id have done the same

dont ever discount a point because of something like that. youre better than that bud

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>>565184893
Segway Kid:
>The ugliest person I have ever seen
>Rides around campus in a segway, no one has ever seen him off of it
>his mom got him special permission from the university to be able to ride it around
>honks at you when you don't make room for him on the sidewalk
>Wears a scarf on his mouth during the winter season that looks like a cape when he speeds past you

Basically a unicorn on campus, people flip when they see him. These are honestly the two most odd people on campus, but the others are simple to explain

Cap'n Jack
>Dresses like a pirate, smart as shit though, really nice guy

Rocket man
>Makes plane noises as he walks around campus while he makes his hand into the shape of a jet

Wolf Kid
>Doesn't know his age when I asked him, Math Graduate, wears a fursuit around campus

>>565185520
Oh yeah and I dated this girl during my junior and senior year and he wrote in my yearbook, "congrats anon, you got the girl in the end." Like it was a fucking competition hahahaha

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>>565186134
>bud
>bud
SETTLE DOWN THERE BUD

>>565186134
im not your bud, pal

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>>565185831
>>565185826
I like this train of thought.

>>565186006
dude i realize that shit NOW
is the day going to come that i DO take it seriously?

some guy made a comment about the "military industrial complex"
thats a real fucking thing, it started the cold war by inventing a "missile gap"

militaries want war. if it werent for our civilian government we'd be north korea right now

But i dont assume every new guy into basic drank all the coolaid. id give them more credit than that

>>565167039
>15
>SKYRIM

>>565186134

>Bud
>Bud

>>565186134
>>565185993
I take that back I hate you more

>>565186574
Can you believe this guy?

>>565186450
>>565186574
Problem being called bud, squirt?

I'm probably at least 7 other people's "biggest retard/creep" story (not counting witnesses).

>>565186767
Most do brah. I can't explain it, you'll just find out. It's a good time though. Lots of laughs if you know how to take it.

>>565186767
this guy.....

>>565186006
He's a enlightened genius now, you happy?

>>565184474

It's AWOL you faggot

>>565167960
>making fun of marcopolo
I bet he knew all them locations

>>565186450
way she goes, bud

>>565186918
youre still here?

>>565187027
Yea. Reality is gunna hit him like a fist. Trust me, we win in the long run when this dude hits the fleet and realizes whats up.

>>565187115
Marines don't go AWOL. They go UA.

>>565172076
Fuck you too man, I just wanted to chill

>>565168604
nazis confirmed for loving earth

>>565187260
I'll take your word for it.

>>565187256
He's like our own personal creep, shit we should write a creep story about him right now

>>565173741
not even people on /b/ like you

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>>565187256
and responding at lightning pace squirt, control-f me

im not such a douche that i would deny a smarter guy the satisfaction of putting me in my place
so ill just keep waiting...

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>>565183519
>later on during the year he starts getting more confident
>talks to black guy and says "yeah time to turn up for my niggas!"
>black buddy is pissed and punches him in the face
>he starts crying and leaves school
>doesnt respond for weeks until we play that game again

>one of my teacher is young and hot
>she loves me and my friend so she's cool with us
>friend takes her phone when she isn't looking and takes pictures of fuck
>phone is locked so you can only take pictures/videos nothing else
>friend takes pictures of fuck and he's flipping off the camera
>pictures stuck until teacher finds them
>once she does she is super pissed and he is suspended
>has vendetta against her for the rest of the year and she calls him out on everything (like leaning in his chair)
>one day in that class the nigs are rapping and fuck joins in
>nigs fw
>is publicly shamed
>he now hates that class and later says he'll get his revenge on hot teacher
cont.