>>564015945 Become an alcoholic. That's how I get ladies despite my social anxiety. You talk them up with liquid courage, then if you dislike them, you can break it off or if you like them, then do some cheesy "I'm quitting drinking for you" shit. Bitches love that shit.
Find a new job or volunteer for something where you are forced to be around women a lot. Just talking to them like you would with your friends or us. About anything, generally communication with no end goal (fucking or girlfriend).
I lost my wizardhood at 31 - could have done it a lot sooner if I had had more exposure to females.
Sign up for a new course with a lot of women on it, go travelling - stay in hostels so you are forced to be social. Volunteer at a women's centre where they have fucking boring clubs.
Join a ballroom/salsa/tango dancing class - make the decision to go there for at least 3 months or 100 hours of lessons before you even contemplate leaving it.
>>564016314 My birthday is in a month. I can't wait to put on my robe and wizard hat. >>564016415 >they are awkward and scared too sometimes I think when they interacted with me they wouldn't be. they may be nervous around a hot guy who's confident but not me. alcohol is a no go. thanks for the advice! >>564016894 Glad that works for you but I'd rather not take up a lot of drinking. >>564016939 Agree >>564017023 That's good advice but its tough to muster up charisma and confidence when I don't feel like i have much to offer.
>>564017023 this is the fucking key people. 6,1 250 5 inch dick.not really handsome either. when i was 20. she was 29. i txted this girl and told her how sexy she was. she liked it and a week later i was eating her pussy on the side of the road about 1 mile from her bf's house. fucked her for a month until she got prego and left. kek. tl:dr even a hideous fucking chud like me fucked a 7/10 by just being confident that i would do whatever i could to make sure she enjoyed the fuck out of it.
>>564015945 General fear: you overcome it by dealing with it. But to be specific, you don't fear talking to girls, of fear it going wrong and you ending up in a shameful situation... Do you have any female friend you can discuss this with?
>>564017105 whenever i try that its so awkward that i'd rather just leave. a lot of ummm's and uhhh's and i end up asking the same question she just answered because i'm nervous >>564017157 lol >>564017657 Thank you. But how do i avoid getting friendzoned in that situation? --- taking a dance class would be a nightmare lol >>564017870 honestly it seems like a scam.
>Get a good haircut >Get some nice clothes that match colors >If your eyebrows are bushy, get them done but this isn't necessary >If you have facial hair, that shits gotta go. No women likes a stash unless you can pull it good >Clean and take care of your teeth. Yellow teeth is obv a turn off >Maintain your job and always have money >If you get nervous around girls, pretend you own her or she farted or ANYTHING that makes you feel like you're above her. >If you're making conversation with a girl, make the conversation focus on her. Girls don't give a shit about your nerdy vidya PC >Never let a nigga talk you down. Either ignore him or prove your shit. No woman likes a weak man and if they did, that would only be in movies >Don't be so desperate. Girls don't like that shit and that's why guys get friendzoned and cry on /adv/. >Don't play with her hair >Treat her as a regular friend. There are so many faggots on /b/ that think giving the first impression that you like her will automatically get you pussy. No, that will never and always never work unless you're Ryan Gosling.
>>564018915 >Get some nice clothes that match colors i never understood the concept of "matching colors".. how do you know if a colors matches another? Myself.. I always wear jeans and random t shirts.. thats what i wore for my entire life.
>>564018915 Literally this if you haven't already done these things. It's all about how you see yourself. If you look at yourself and think you're an ugly dope, others will see you as that. But if you look at yourself and say, I'm a good looking guy, others will see you as that. Work out a little bit, eat healthier, buy some new clothes, etc. Anything to make you feel better about yourself.
Time to improve yourself then. Do it primarily for yourself, not for any women - and once you start, don't stop - even if you meet a woman who likes you. This is key, remember this.
1. Exercise every day, good quality pushups. 2. Learn a musical instrument, practise every day for at least 15 minutes, better 30 minutes or an hour. 3. Learn a foreign language, find ways to make use of it (local cafe/bar where they speak it for example). 4. Take up a sport of some kind - social sport is better. 5. Travel aimlessly for at least a few months - use some savings. 6. Find a better job. 7. Study something, can be a short course of a month, or something for longer. 8. Learn a martial art, go to class every week, practise at home. 9. Read a new book every week or two. Find a list of good books, not just the best seller list - they are all shit. 10. Take up a practical skill, carpentry is a good one. Start making things at home - improving your home even if you own it. Go to classes if you want to learn faster, or buy a book.
Also remember this, Us humans still follow evolution's path meaning we still use natural selection in our daily lives. Unconsciously, these women want something that will support their children whether it's protection, money, or looks. Of course they won't show that shit because its unconsciously in your mind.
Same reasons why me and you prefer nice bodies, big tits, and big asses. You know why? Because unconsciously we think big asses and hips lead to a better and safe birth for our children and big tits mean better nutrition. It's pretty fucking awkward but it's the truth.
don't try and script conversations with them if that's something you do.
also, having your own interests and hobbies really helps. the more you stew about thinking about girls and not having one, etc, the more it might show in your voice, facial expressions, mannerisms, etc. MOSTLY though it'd just be you beating yourself up in your head.
Ask questions and let them talk - everyone wants to know someone is listening.
And be weary of being too helpful or close because then you risk chances of being seen more in a friend sort of light. if you're a bit reserved and keep a bit of mystery to you it could lead her to want to know more about you - i.e. talk with you more
>>564018751 It isn't about being friendzoned. It is about increasing your exposure to females in general in social situations. It is about practising talking with them like a human being.
Do not seek to fuck them or have them as a girlfriend as the end goal - just talk to them. If you end up dating them anyway, that's fine, but the point is to make you more comfortable speaking with women in the first place.
As for friendzone - to avoid it is simple. Make your intentions clear from the beginning. Flirt with them (this takes practice too, like everything in life - just keep trying and you'll improve). Tell them you like them or make it clear as soon as you realise you like them. It can be as simple as saying "I like you" and smiling while holding their gaze with your eyes. Touch them, their arm, brush their hair away - when it seems the right time. Ask them out to lunch or for a coffee or a drink or dinner or something where you can talk and feel relaxed and comfortable too. Ask them out sooner - as in the first time you have a good conversation with them, so you don't miss your chance and don't slip into the friend zone.
It doesn't have to be wine and roses, just keep it simple. "Let's meet for lunch tomorrow". Don't ask a question, just make a statement and see if she accepts.
>>564019379 Just look in catalogues or men's magazines. Look at what celebrity males wear. Go into a decent men's clothes shop where women work and ask them for suggestions. A simple smart shirt with a pair of trousers and a belt, some black or brown shoes to go with it. Suddenly you are up 1-2 points on the 10 scale.
Treat it like a game, make yourself at least in looks into a character - the cool guy, the well dressed guy. You might feel awkward at first, but you will soon become used to the new clothes - and trying new clothes will broaden your tastes.
point 3 only if you are NOT a native english speaker (if so, go improve your english skills)
every other point is merely for the purpose of showing off "what you've got" ... its that typical "a female is looking for a 'suitable' mate" shit all over again. women still have that primal instinct in them that makes them actively outcast every male who isnt "worthy" enough.. in my opinion, women who think like that arent worthy to even consider talking to
>>564015945 They're human beings: They shit, they emit foul odors, they're likely stupid, and they look just like everyone else on the inside (anatomically speaking).
Stop fretting that every potential interaction with a girl could be the "one to save you from loneliness." It's that trap that makes guys overemphasize the importance of every female interaction, when 99% of the time it ends up being either a normal conversation or a boring one. Again, they're just people.
Stop thinking you're too low value for them. There's no formula to quantify your physical, mental and personality characteristics to prove that your intrinsic interpersonal worth is less than hers. Even if there were, she doesn't have to know that; go after her anyhow! If you give it your best shot and nothing comes of it, you're back where you started anyhow; that's not a loss, that's a gain (experience). Some guys look it at like, "B-but, if she shoots me down, it makes me think about how shitty I am and then I'm less likely to try! I have to know beforehand that it's gonna work!" First, if you believe that, you're fucked anyhow. There's no way to guarantee success in any endeavor, so with this you better just buck up and get over your fear of the unknown, else be prepared to die alone. Just don't come posting on 4chan about how unfair everything is; if you truly are so miserable that you have nothing more to lose, then you can find the apathy and devil-may-care attitude to approach a girl. There's no in between.
Tl;dr: Stop presuming every female encounter is magical, stop assuming you can't meet a girl's needs, and start getting a little bit selfish and treating them as if you desire them, and that if *they* live up to your analysis, they're about to luck out: YOU'RE giving them a chance!
You need to just get sick of being lonely and scared. Aren't you tired of making these posts, browsing 4chan in a half-alive malaise and pitying yourself?
>>564017023 These tips don't help someone with extreme approach anxiety and low self-esteem. It's like telling someone with a paralyzing fear of spiders to just "man up and touch one." It's patently stupid.
>>564021391 Also, 1-10 are about his own self confidence, not something he can brag about - he doesn't even need to mention any of them to a female.
It will make him a more interesting person, and give him things to talk about - instead of him being stuck for what to talk about. He could also start regularly reading the news, or reader's digest or periodicals - just to have something to talk about.
>>564015945 >stop caring so much seems simple but its true, confident men are confident because they've been there done that, they have experience, so it isnt such a big deal for them; ie they just dont care as much
The best possible advice I can ever give you OP: >Don't worry about if you are going to fuck her/date her/end up in the friendzone. You have put the pussy on the pedestal for far far far too long. Just have a casual conversation and see where things lead, always a good plan is to say "Me and some friends were going for (Insert relatively cheap/free activity in a public place here) tonight/tomorrow, you should come along too". But for the love of fuck, only do this if it is clear that the two of you are getting along nicely and would probably like to meet again in the future. This is good for two reasons, 1. It means you are meeting up again, and soon, and 2. She is your guest with your friends, so you will be the one that she spends the time with.
>Anything you would say to your guy mates, say to her too I know that you can't really afford to be picky anon, but do you really want to end up with a bitch that isn't a bro?
>Play hard to get Sounds cliched as fuck, but seriously, if you are the one texting her everyday, organising everything that you do etc. she will friendzone the shit out of you. Regardless of how tempting, you always need to wait at least a week before contacting her again. If during this week she contacts you, feel free to reciprocate but do not drag conversations out to the stage where they are boring and do NOT text her the next day with something funny you should have said before.
If you're referring to not being able to maintain a conversation, do this.
>So, how was your day? >What's going on in your mind? >Have any plans this weekend? I might [Insert shit you're going to do like the gym or movies, not nerdy shit.] >For how long have you been living here? >You got any hobbies?
Those are just some examples. Point is, you want this girl to say shit about herself. Every girl likes to talk about themselves. Also, talk about yourself once in a while. It doesn't hurt. After all, it's pretty fucking creepy if all you're doing is asking questions and not contributing to the conversation.
Pick some, do them - or use it as inspiration to do something else.
You'd meet a lot of people by working at starbucks - all kinds, and become more comfortable talking with people. It's not a bad idea. Yoga, good for fitness, and you'd be heavily outnumbered by women in the class.
>>564023364 >>So, how was your day? >>What's going on in your mind? >>Have any plans this weekend? I might [Insert shit you're going to do like the gym or movies, not nerdy shit.] >>For how long have you been living here? >>You got any hobbies?
OP do this and you will stay a wizard for the rest of your days
Every single one of us likes shit that is limited. Such as limited edition vidya, limited deals, Shit that is hard to earn etc. Why do you think we always have that urge to buy shit that is limited and will not be there the next day? Because we want something that is special.
Same goes for women. Women friendzone guys because they make themselves too available to them. I have had girls hit me up even when I just flat out ignore them or stop talking to them.
>>564015945 Here's a thought: In order to have things to talk about, you have to actually go out and do stuff. Women don't want men whom don't have hobbies, interests, and most importantly, activities. And you know what ? You just might learn that you are a good cook, a good artist, or really enjoy paragliding (or whatever it is). It makes you well-rounded and confident, which makes up for many other personal faults and other genetic shortcomings and in the most direct way makes you more attractive to everyone in your life. You have interesting stories and talk about interesting stuff enough and you become interesting as well.
>>564018915 Thanks, bro. Nice of you to take the time. >>564019640 Thank you as well but this is honestly a lot more work than I want to do. I'd rather be alone frankly. >>564020096 >don't try and script conversations with them if that's something you do I do exactly that lol. Always thinking about the next thing I wanna say. Thanks for the advice >>564020506 I'm sure this is good advice but if anything this thread is teaching me that I'd have to change a lot to get results and I'd just rather not. Thank you, tho. >>564022417 haha that's what all the rsd videos say. can't believe people pay for that 'advice' >>564022484 you helped a lot man thank you! talking to them casually seems to be something everybody advocates but it's just not that easy for me to talk to anyone casually, including guys. adding the fear of rejection and self-criticism, the whole thing becomes a clusterfuck.
Thanks to everyone in this thread. Honestly got way more advice than I expected. Unfortunately, I just don't htink I'm gonna change. You're all cool dudes tho in my book. No homo.
>>564024060 Yes, only text her when you are about to do something together. If she thinks she can have a conversation with you every time she picks up her phone, there is no incentive to actually be there in person with you
Those were just examples, I don't even use them myself. The point was to ask her anything related to the situation that both are in, in order for her to get her to talk about herself, thus making the illusion of both of you making a conversation. Of course, don't be so fucking awkward about it. Just go with the flow.
>>564024376 It isn't about changing into a different person, or doing a lot of hard work - it is about living.
To be confident with other people (women too), you must be confident in yourself. Build confidence by doing more and becoming better at things. You don't have to do 1-10 or 100 different things. Pick 1 and start doing it, then after a while pick up another and keep doing both.
Even just do one new thing and stick with it - you will enjoy yourself, learn something new, meet new people and have some improvement in your life, maybe a life skill too.
Try dancing classes for a few months at least. Then at least you'll know how to dance better. These kind of things lead to unforeseen opportunities which will make your life richer in some way. Don't be a nay sayer, just do it.
>>564025324 This is for women, not high school girls anon.
Keep your online presence in her life to a minimum unless you have something to actually talk about, you don't want to be stuck texting her all day every day where most of the conversation is "What are you up to?".
It's about making the time that she is thinking about you important instead of boring, anon. It also separates you from the pack & makes you far more interesting if you have stories you can tell that she hasn't already seen on facebook/twitter/snapchat/tumblr or whatever else people are using these days.
>>564018915 fuck man I want to shave my mustache but i'm one of those baby faced faggots and im too self-conscious about it. Its either a babyfaced faggot or a faggot with a pedo like mustache. I go for the pedostache.
>>564025010 dude it came so fast!!!! I honestly feel like i'm 18 still. I don't have any memories of doing anything in my 20's. If I could give advice to you guys: Fucking enjoy your youth! Get fit, get good with girls and fuck lots of em, make as much money as you can!
>>564026046 it atleast shows a bit of manliness. >>564026212 I've done it before man and believe me it brings a massive amount of attention, mostly from little girls (teens and shit) I swear to you I shit you not they literally stare at me and when I look back they continue to stare. I know to some it might be pretty nice but on a serious note it makes me feel uncomfortable. And when it comes to walking down the street (I live in a pretty rouch neighborhood with cholos and niggers shooting at each other) every motherfucker I see wants to fight me cause I look like a bitch. So fuck that. Thats how bad my mustache affects me.
>>564026697 Follow your own advice before you are 40 or 50. >>564026561 >Fucking enjoy your youth! Get fit, get good with girls and fuck lots of em, make as much money as you can!
I'm older than you, and I wasted plenty of years. Start now, because there is always less youth, and less opportunity the older you become. More regret too the older you are. Start living and stop being a pussy.
Putting yourself out of where you are comfortable is what makes you grow and really live.
I understand this is for women as I even picked up women in their 20s when I was barely 18. I agree with everything you have said because that's basically the same mindset I have.
Usually when it ends to "What you up to" I just stop the conversation there and then hit them up again when I plan to go hang with them. Most of the time, I only talk a lot to women that I don't plan on hooking up to.
I also understand the >making the time she is thinking about you important instead of boring
In my point of view, that applies to not being available too much and limited, as said in my other post and I believe you also mentioned it in one of your posts.
I'm not against you, I actually agree with everything you have said and couldn't said it better myself. Also, I wonder if you're me from another computer.
>>564027762 Tips for good push ups: >Get a fist sized object and put it on the ground, your sternum must touch this before pushing back up >Make sure your body is completely straight and that the only part that moves is your elbows >If your arse is higher than your chest you are doing it wrong >Hold yourself close to the ground for just a second before pushing back up
>>564026697 You've had the life you've had so far by being safe and staying safe.
Risk is what makes a man a man - start with small risks, work your way up. Fear comes and grows from not taking risks and not facing your fears. You become a prisoner of it.
Start small, maybe it will take you a year to work your way up to it - but start facing your fears in small ways, start doing new things, start taking small risks. Otherwise, what's the point? You stayed safe, you died safe. You never really lived.
>>564028617 Not mountains of pussy, that isn't the point. But I did start living - and when I saw the contrast between living and existing, when I looked back on all the years I wasted, I apologised to myself a great deal.
My advice is coming from personal experience, building myself up over years to finally be alive.
When people used to ask me "what do you do?" I would reply "not much" - was funny to them at first, but in reality it wasn't funny.
>>564027734 Went to wallgreens and got a coke. Well, the way to talk to girls is important. Bodylanguage is important. And the most important thing is to have fun. If i want to make a hitler joke with a german girl, i do, because it amuses me. Outcome independant is super important. Just be fun, and make everyone around you feel better by your pressence.
>>564030712 Watch the film Yes Man, with Jim Carrey. That kind of thing is a good experiment to try with yourself, saying yes to opportunities that come. It will lead you out of your comfort zone and the thing is - you can go back in whenever you feel lke it. There's no real risk.
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