>>562653369 I'm going to assume you mean overall? Because she took advantage of me quite a number of times. At first, I felt used, abused, dejected, and pathetic. As time went on, and I got closer to her, I felt loved, cherished, comfortable, and safe... most of the time.
>>562653598 It started when I was 12, went on for over a year. And at first I didn't much like it... but as time went on I learned to enjoy it. Bribing me with video games to keep my mouth shut helped too. For a kid who was poor and hardly had anything, this seemed like a fair deal back then.
>>562654502 I suggest you read that link I provided in the first post, should help you staying nice and hard.
>>562654736 My molester wasn't wrinkly or old, just a woman ten years older than me. And it wasn't my fetish when it started, but afterwards I couldn't feel attracted to anyone unless they were older than myself. Still can't, in-fact.
>>562655108 Sort of... she seems off and on about the entire posting process. But what has really halted the final two accounts is my own schedule. I work more hours now, and what little free time I have left I either spend on playing video games, or hanging out with Rayne. Oh, and yes, I did locate her.
>>562654736 >wrinkly old potheads with pedophilia Oh God. I don't old yet, but if I make it there this will probably. Between the drugs and the suicidal ideation though, I probably don't have to worry about it.
>>562655750 Hope my accounts can help you at least fantasize then.
>>562655940 It was tough in high school, until the end when I just accepted that only girls older than me would do the trick. After I stopped fighting it, things got better. Dated a couple girls, bedded them too. But the relationships never lasted. I apparently developed trust issues.
>>562656427 I have nothing but contempt and disdain for my horrible mother. So no, not ever.
>>562656561 Depends on which time we are talking about.
>>562656795 I thought about it... I'll pass until things really seem grim.
>>562655385 I was molested for months when I was 7. She was 12 or 13. Unfortunately, I was too young to understand or appreciate at the time. It had a different effect on me. Instead of always wanting someone older, I'm locked in to being attracted to young teens.
>>562657185 But I'm 25, and have absolutely NO sexual attraction to my mother. However, I did dream that my mother's appearance had changed slightly, and I couldn't keep my hands off her. Seriously, I kept hugging and kissing her on the cheek as if she were my girlfriend or something. She kept taking it too.
>>562660314 Basically, I've been having strange thoughts of sleeping with women much older than myself. The other night, I dreamed I had sex with my mother, and have had similar dreams frequently as of late. What's bothering me is what this all means. Do I really *want* to do that with my mom? Maybe I'm spending too much time around her or something...
>>562660350 If you sleep with someone else's mother, make sure that you have known that woman most of your life, and that they know you and your mother. And be sure she is cool with you calling her mom. That should do the trick.
>>562661113 It's just a fantasy, Anon. You'll get over it eventually, trust me. I went through a point where I wanted to fuck my mom too (along with my cousin, but my cousin made more sense since she was 9/10 and my ideal type)
>>562661113 Be polite. Find an excuse to be at her place with her alone, any will do. And after whatever business is concluded, take out a bottle of wine and ask if she would be interested in joining you for a drink. I know it sound corny but god damn if it doesn't work half the time. Also, don't let your own fears or trepidation hold you back. Don't be a dick, but don't be timid either. Try to get the course of your conversation over the wine steered in the direction of your worrying thoughts of late, and that you have been thinking of older women quite a lot. if you can't make it work from there then give up hope.
>>562661921 We try, but she can't seem to get aroused, even though she wants to. I just might be too old for her now.
>>562661950 Because I poured my heart and soul into my accounts, and if I were making this all up that would be a massive waste of my time and efforts. I don't need you to believe me, but I do need to get all of this off my chest, and chronicling my encounters seems to be the best therapy.
>>562662652 Rayne is fairing OK, I suppose. Her roommates took different paths. One got knocked up shortly after I left. The dad married her and they had a couple more kids, but then they got divorced after their third child. The other roommate left her boyfriend after he got arrested for a second DUI. She stuck around longer than the other roommate, but ultimately stayed behind in the High Desert when Rayne moved over here. She has dated some other guys, but after the last one cheated on her she hasn't wanted to waste time on finding love. She seems depressed more than most of the time, and Rayne is thinking about convincing her to come visit her for a weekend or so, just to raise her spirits.
>>562663779 I would love to make it something you can copy, is there an option you can tell me about, or should I just try searching google?
>>562663682 My life is a pretty fucked-up story as is. I still find it funny everyone thinks of my life as made up.
op you're a little bitch if you're not fucking that bitch now that you're older after all those years. you deserve to hit that. i'm not even kidding when i say force yourself on her. that's what she did to you and you better get that pussy now that you can actually enjoy sex more better.
>>562667095 I have to kind of agree with this guy OP. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot I might have a different opinion, but from my current POV this was like all I wanted when I was an adolescent. You will get no sympathy from me. Now someone get him his luckiest boy in America medal.
>>562667008 i understand but i highly doubt that will ever happen. to be honest she sounds like a selfish bitch who just cares about getting herself off no matter what. she's probably still raping kids with no care in the world. give her a taste of her own medicine and see how she likes it.
Your a fag bro. >Be 13 sex with 17 year old. Lost virginity. >Be 15 sex with 32 year old. Friends aunt. >Be 20 now hooking up with 28 year old.
If you felt used or abuse at all during that time period you are a fucking chump and still a chump ass bitch. Man the fuck up and realize you probably had better sex with this older woman than any of your friends got with the preppy dikes from when you were in shcol. Unless you are in school then you most likely shouldn't be on 4chan.
>>562667071 At first she did, but she would break it off. Saying sorry or what not. I understand where its coming from... but foreplay can only take someone so far.
>>562667151 I both cherish and resent everything that happened, for different reasons.The man I am sort of takes pride in how I lost my innocence, but the child I was feels dejected and pathetic that he was so weak and was bought so easily. That he was taken advantage of and didn't know how to make it stop. Then eventually all he had was her and was so desperate to be loved he opened his arm to his abuser. Also, what a disappointment, so close... fuck you 7!
>>562667829 She does have a heart, and we do have fun hanging out together... but I have me suspicions that she might have had other boys after me... I don't know if she does today, but it is something I fear hearing about from her own lips.
>>562668041 Glad you enjoyed it. My writing is amateur at best, but I do try to make the read enjoyable. And if we can't get Rayne turned on, we might just go to being friends. I have a couple more plans on getting her moist, so hope isn't lost.
>>562668712 According to Rayne, after I moved in with my dad a couple years passed and then Jeff went to jail after punching a cop who was off duty. After he got out he dropped the wigger talk and developed a hatred for Niggers. Then he tried starting up his own druggie house like my mom was running, but kept using up all of his stock like a moron and was losing money and what little clients he could muster. He was thrown in jail again after he got caught trying to solicit sex from a minor with the promise of free drugs. She was 16 I think, then got cold feet and narked on him.
>>562669334 >implying you're not full of shit But on the off-chance you're not, OP was abused and neglected, only to be picked up by a girl who eventually also used him for physical pleasure. Act like a le edgy XDD faggot all you want, but that is traumatizing.
>>562669639 As interesting a read as this has been, you're not helping yourself by posting this. You're rationalizing something that hurt you severely, which still hurts you, which you cannot explain the reasoning behind completely.
It's okay to accept that you're hurting, even if you can't explain why everything happened like it did to begin with.
>>562669745 I have had a long time to come to terms with what happened. A couple things come to mind though. Firstly, towards the end of our encounters I became very close to Rayne. Next, the hate I felt for her during my teen years was never anything close to the hate I feel for my own mother, and Rayne also shared my hate for her... we were the only ones, as I saw it. Lastly, after years of no contact, I spent a good deal of effort finding her again, and she has been the best friend I have ever had. Its a complicated relationship.
>>562669996 Not in the conventional sense. I have my own theory on if there is a god or not. And if there is, then what it is isn't what has ever been proposed before. As far as the consequences of my actions go, I have no one to punish me but myself and my peers.
>>562671063 So it's more about explaining your experiences to someone than about getting some sort of condolence. Makes sense, sorry about the mixup. I sometimes have to share my story with people, too, even if I shake while doing so.
Just hard to say anything that would be considered "proper" to you.
>>562671439 Don't worry about being proper or not. A lot of anons have told me I should seek help professionally, but I find this so much more... cost effective. Also I get to be creative about it, and constructive. Not to mention now everyone can enjoy my story.
>>562673251 Just finished your story.. er.. accounts. I stayed up way later than i planned tonight. I have to say a great read indeed. I found that i could not tear myself away. Hearing about Rayne brought back pleasant memories of the kinds of people my parents hung out with when i was young in the late 90's. It also stirred some things in me that i haven't felt in a long time in a nonsexual way. Thanks for sharing OP, wish you and Rayne all the best.
Op i love your story and feel happy and glad that you found her. At first I'm faping and now feel happy for you. Pls keep us up to date. Its strange the are love stories and such things not saying u guys are together or anything but its what it feels like i even forget that you were 12 at the time. My encounter was a highschool girl when i was around 10 or 11. But i knew what was going on and what i was doing and loved it. Saddly it didn't last long enough fir me to feel anything about it. Godspeed op thank you for your tale.
>>562653043 How do you deal with it OP? I mean, well, there were a few times, with one of my mother's friends, she was/is kind of emotionally unstable and manipulative, and I just felt, feel, really beaten in about it. Like, the details are vague, I remember... Snippets, like, having her vagina in my face, being threatened after, and I remember crying a lot and being unable to process what had happened. When I think about it it makes me feel messed up, since I can literally trace years of crippling anxiety and depression back to it, and yet all my fetishes and sexual preferences as well.
Like, this one thing, just... Then boom! The rest of my life is decided. I just... It doesn't even make me feel upset, just this weird uneasiness. It's shaped so much of who I am as a person now, that I can't imagine what I'd have been like if it hadn't happened. Do you deal with anything like that?
Dammit OP, like many others I was just looking to fap, but instead got sucked into this gripping tale. I actually legitimately feel sad for you that she might have had other boys after you, and that you guys don't seem to be able to make things happen physically these days.
You're story made me sad. I wish I could give you a hug or something.
I'd ask why of all places are you telling /b/ but after lurking the entire thread I kinda figured.
>Are you depressed now? >Do you think love can bloom on a battlefield? (Do you think you could fall and love and be happy) >How do you feel.. sexually now? Like do you have any complex because of this? (Milf, etc)
>>562675557 ""She knows... I think someone blabbed in an /ss/ thread and she put two and two together. She wasn't very happy." This is a bit vague and brings up more questions. Like How was she browsing /b/ an not see one of these threads? Or what did this person say to tip her off?
>>562675290 Many warm and heartfelt thanks! I'll try to focus on my accounts again.
>>562675364 I want it to work out... but I know if we can't find a way to make her aroused by me then there is no hope for a meaningful, sexual relationship
.>>562675617 I used to deal with some of what you are going through... still do I guess. Anyway, the difference between the two of us, it sounds like, is that Rayne might have started off rash, but became more loving as time went on. I was able to adjust, I guess I am saying.
>>562675651 "Trayne" I fucking lost it. Good god that had me in stitches. Glad I helped to make your night feel fuller in return.
>>562676039 I am not as depressed as I was when I was dishonest with myself, and when I was holding all of what happened to me inside... and that I both missed and hated Rayne not all that long ago. But I have been dealing with my issues, coming to terms, and finding some closure. All of that has helped my mood significantly.
As for falling in love, well, I'm giving Rayne a shot... if this doesn't work then I have little hope for my future prospects, to be honest,
I can only feel attracted to women who are older than myself.
>>562676395 She doesn't just browse /b/, only every so often. Much less than I do, in any case. But it was only a matter of time before she was bound to find out. If I'm perfectly honest, part of my kind of wanted her to find out that way.
And I wasn't in that thread, she was. It was enough that she found out and confronted me... I don't know how much experience you have with dealing with angry women, but there are some things you learn not to push, even when it seems like enough time has gone by to ask them later.
Would you wear a cock-cage for an older woman? Would you dress like a girl if she made you? Would you hold all the bags while she shopped and your dick ached in it's cage at the thought of her fat thighs riding you later that night? Would you keep quiet as your balls turned blue at the thought of her fat MILF tits in your face?
>>562669334 >fedora hipster fag >sex with 17,32,28 >implying they're badge worthy to broadcast >actually posting your pic with a fucking filter pls go back to vampiredreams.com. Unless proven otherwise those bitches were pencil ugly. Learn to use language outside of bro and chump for fucks sake a 20 year old acting like hes an grown man lel. Go back to bed the gap needs you in the morning junior.
>>562680537 dude, you got fucking raped by some pedophile druggie broad then you come on here trying to romanticize it and justify it or make it okay ? go to a fucking shrink already
i read the beginning of the story, it's pretty clear she's a fucking pedophile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCpr3hr0K30
and she was smart enough to manipulate you into doing exactly what she wants, what a great fucking predator this Rayne of yours, she probably has 9 other pieces of meat just like you, goddamn genius this woman gotta give her that
why do you think she pushed you ? then laughed at you when you got mad ? because that's what female pedophiles like, they like power, control, they like seeing ''men'' reduced to boys, being helpless and powerless, it's amusing to them, like a cat playing with a mouse just to torture it but not kill it
Rayne will never show you her true face, and even if she would, and I think she did when she got mad at you, she has you twisted all around her pinky finger and you're hers for life
that's the cool thing about 12 year old little boys, if you're around them growing up, once they're grown, they're loyal to you forever, like dogs
a good dog is a loyal dog, are you a good dog for Rayne ? I bet you are :D
you got raped by a psychopathic sociopath, a sexual predator that preys on those that can't think for themselves or fend for themselves, but don't fucking try to rationalize it or excuse it or romanticize it
it is what it is, and you will never see it for what it is because she dug her claws deep into you at the right time in your life, and now you're in her grasp forever and she will never let you go
>>562681183 Don't know if you are joking or not, but that might actually help...
>>562681219 Oh, if someone wanted to draw this out they can be my guest. If they wanted to monetize it, that is a different matter.
>>562681337 He was her main source of income. She was used by him sexually and he would pay her to keep it hush hush. Its where she learned a lot of her tricks from.
>>562681584 I'm not going to say you are completely wrong, but you are not completely right either. Bet you feel good getting that off your chest though. Would I be wrong in thinking you went through something in your past too?
God damned that was really enjoyable to read. Even though the story is kind of 'unreal' to me, I can't imagine it ever happening, your writing made it feel very real. And I'd be really interested in reading her motivations and thoughts through it all.
Would you ever consider trying to get any of this published? If not these exact documents then something loosely based on them?
>>562683385 That isn't what I was getting at at all. I was suggesting that perhaps I tell her about all of the things we did together when I was still a kid, then see if that gets her going or not.
>>562683561 Its been done. Check out the reunion section of the doc.
>>562684047 And again. people thinking my life is unreal always baffles me. But yes, I have considered taking all of these accounts and rearranging them int a cohesive novel. No idea how to get things published though.
>>562684564 I believe it's all true. It just didn't go with how I viewed the world, but if anything your writing/story broadened my view of things. Pedophilia is one hell of a taboo in todays society, but your story made it quite clear that it isn't always as straight forward as it seems. I know it probably wasn't easy for you, but it also seemed like your only escape from what seemed like a really shitty life.
>>562653043 I'm sorry man. You seem cool and well adjusted and maybe im a freak. But I was a lil pervo fuck back then. i love nasty older women like that.
I wouldve died and gone to heavan if a woman like that got on top of me.
You sound kind of.... Really feminine and super fucking... Uuugh I'm trying to avoid the words beta and highly autistic... Then again I would've been playing Perfect Dark while you are playing Starfox, which I thought was utter shit and is the source for many furfags out there. Bleah. Fucking bleah. Wish Rayne jumped a deserving lil freak.
>>562685604 >>562686652 There is nothing wrong with pedophilia, at least not within the law. The problem is when people act on it and it becomes pedosexuality.
I myself am a pedophile, i like little girls and can be sexually attracted to them, however I would never have sex with them or touch them, both because it's morally wrong and I don't want to go to jail.
Almost nothing is black and white, so is it to with pedosexual relations. As this man has written there is always that grey area that people tend to forget when things are illegal.
>>562687693 Lol cry more. I legitimately don't get what it is with people crying 'edgy' all the time. I'm not even trying to be edgy. I've never heard of a boy that didn't want that in some form. Hot for teacher, man. The one thing I guess I forgot to account for is OPs life sounds really shitty overall. My childhood, despite my mentally retarded sex drive, was pretty "basic".... So the thought of a woman doing that was a fantasy... Not something to potentially shake things up more within an already unstable life. I'm just saying. Most boys wouldn't freak out. I've been skimming it. How old was he, even?
this thread is facinating, Thanks for your story OP. I've always wondered how pedophillia works when the genders are reversed. I always fantasized about getting laid as a young teen and wanted it, I still have trouble understanding how it would be negative unless the woman physically hurts you. Though manipulation is never fun after the fact I would have consented to a half attractive woman at the drop of a hat.
>>562687703 I never said I have CP on my computer. (and I don't btw 'cause I still don't want to go to jail) I just said I can be sexually attracted to little girls. This is seen as a psychiatric disorder and I completely agree. However according to the law pedophilia isn't wrong, acting on your thoughts is however (but then it becomes pedosexuality)
>>562688529 Well you'd have to be caught like an idiot if you DID have any. Like downloading it from a trackable source. But yeah fuck that man.Not worth the risk to have findable. I never meant to imply I thought you did... I just thought in general that's all... But nice. I gotcha. Lovin the shota. I still dont understand. OPs life sound like heavan. But his upbringing and shitty mom seems to have been why these first few chapters are aggravating me... His current position made what she did really tough on him, and i can get that. But as a young kid this was all I could think about.
I've read enough. Too many contradictions to his initial feelings to create a tension in the narrative... The shitty setup, and then THIS- ' It lasted for god knows how long, but she was moaning soon enough. Saying things like "I've worked so hard," or "I deserve this," and "I don't care anymore!"
I was making my own noises, panting and strained moans. Then the tightening came, and my thrusts lost their rhythm. "I feel... funny... Rayne..."
"Just don't stop," she panted. '
LOLNOPE. Fake. A lot of parts are too "juicy" or written in such a way that's just bullshit. Plus he picked the name Rayne... Fucking silly.
I like it a lot and its fantastic writing for the most part. But this isn't real at all. Too much BS. I lol'd at the 'i deserve this!!!' part.
>>562687693 Yeah legit can't believe you lapped this up after I've read more. This is so shitty. And if you think that me thinking the author of this shitty fiction is a faggot for making the kid such a little cunny bitch over getting a good fuck, free stuff, and a hot caretaker (which, by the way, is too fucking anime-good to be true) Then you're literally just as aspergers. Nothing edgy about it. Just the truth. Unless she's a hag or she's pegging you... You literally CANNOT be raped as a boy. I wanted to fuck older women before I could do more than dry-cum. Faggot.
>>562692150 No dumbass. Unless you're a little bitch like yourself... If a chick did everything Rayne depicts in the fucking story, which keeps getting sillier by the minute.... An adolescent boy would be in HEAVAN.
Therefore, can't be rape. Too fucking awesome. Moron.
Also good job using implying. Neckbeard queerlord.
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