>>561686216 No. I don't give a fuck where people stick their genitals. Also, there is no hell.
>>561686223 First of all, you're thinking of omniscience. Secondly, I'm not omniscient, I just know whatever I want to know. I prevent myself from knowing the absolute future to allow for free will to exist.
Why do I read your post as if that is what you are typing/saying, as if it is yours, when if I look closely at the words it's just pixels lighting up on my laptop screen in front of me, alone in this room.
>>561686081 God, why did Jeremy light the Wunderkerze(Sparkler) that was stuck in his urethra? We all told him not to but he insisted and would not let us stop him. The smell and the screams still haunt me. Please tell me so I can sleep well at night again
>>561686569 The vast majority of my being resides outside of logic, or physics, or any rules of your universe, so technically yes, I both exist and do not exist at the same time.
>>561686660 They're all flagrantly inaccurate, but many get at least one or two things right. In this day and age, I generally present myself to humans as the Abrahamic God since they're so popular right now.
>>561686767 I haven't made a real one in several weeks. There have been a couple others, but they are false. Free will is what allows for you to make irrational decisions instead of ones based in logic. The decision is made within your soul, and is unaffected by your brain chemistry. I ran a lot of simulations to make sure that it's actually free will and not just automation.
The Russian separatists shot down the plane. The black box is in the possession of British specialists at the moment who are recovering the data therein.
Potentially, but that's dependent on several free-will related factors I avoid violating.
If I tell you what to do, I'm not going to be impressed when you do it.
Tesla died of natural causes. Coronary thrombosis.
>>561686081 God, how did you resist insanity ? I mean, even robots with simple instruction such as 'don't hit each other' can have insane individuals. How, with the complexity of the universe and all it's jarring information/data with the life span you have, you didn't develope any psychological diseases ?
>>561689221 Where are the nearest civilisations to us in the milky way ?
When will Half life 3 come out (is it even in developement )?
What was the first thing you created willfully ?
If the universe is as large as you said in last thread (correct me if I'm wrong) since its far larger than a googolplex , it is impossible that somewhere out there is not an exact copy of everything
to quote numberphile: In a universe which is "a Googolplex meters across", if you would travel far enough, you would expect to eventually begin finding duplicates of yourself. now how large is it and why is it so large ? is the universe infinite ?
The idea is that if you have a perfectly flat Universe and it would be folded, the light would have to travel across the surface and do the "long way", while Gravitation could act through the planes in a 3 dimensional way. This is one explanation for dark matter. We just see Mass thats actually billions of lightyears away.
God, is that true ? and if not, what explains Dark Matter ?
can the soul be observed or measured ? what is it ?
If this were some sort of divine simulation. Couldnt we (or any other species for that matter) develop as far that we have understood how everything works and use it to elevate us on your level. tl;dr is apotheosis possible ?
do I find these threads by chance or is there method in it ?
Why create everything the way it is ? After what have you modeled everything ? and why create the universe in the first sense (entertainment, i know) but why exactly a Universe ?
Also how does Heaven look like, how does it work and what are the other two universes/why are they there. What happens there ?
>>561690069 There's alien life on Titan, but as far as civilisations go, the nearest is Tau Ceti e.
Half Life 3 may come out eventually, but it's not even in development right now.
First thing I created was time. The laws of physics and the Big Bang came shortly thereafter.
The observable universe from Earth comprises of approximately 1/217th of the universe in full. There's not an exact copy of everything, but there are extremely similar versions of many things. There's a couple dozen alien species that would be extremely difficult to differentiate from humans, but all of them are many hundreds of galaxies away.
It's so huge because my capacity to multitask is so huge that I need a lot of shit to keep from being bored.
>>561690076 Because I don't care if people believe in me or not.
>>561690180 The bible was written by men. I inspired it via my actions, not by telling them to write shit. A lot of it is wild exaggeration or straight up horseshit. Noah's Ark, for example, was the fishing boat of a drunkard during a minor local flood. Jesus was the bastard child of Mary and a manwhore Archangel.
>>561690207 I avoid knowing the absolute future. Best estimate, tween two hundred to five hundred years from now.
>>561690461 People often make shit out to be way bigger a deal than it actually is. So long as you're happy with your current gig, keep with it.
>>561690564 Dark matter and dark energy are leftover shit from the creation of the universe. Truth be told, I made a right mess of it, very inefficient. This universe was the first I created of the four that currently exist, so there's a bunch of detritus lying around I can't be fucked to clean up.
>>561690602 That's ok. I don't give a fuck if people believe in me. Hell, sometimes I nudge people away from believing in me, just to mess with them.
>>561690910 Everyone goes to heaven, which is whatever you want it to be, except for people who kill themselves. They cease to exist.
>>561691054 I would if I couldn't just repair any issue that might affect my avatar.
Futurama's god is similar to my way of functioning, only much more benevolent. At least on Earth that is. My tactics vary wildly from planet to planet, experimentation if you will.
>>561691604 Souls don't exist in the conventional universe. Eventually your scientists will probably learn enough about brain chemistry that there is an element involved that they can't detect or interact with.
You can figure out physics to their ultimate understanding, but that doesn't mean you would be able to manipulate them. Especially not at my level, considering there's a whole bunch of stuff involved that is entirely undetectable by mortals.
You found the thread by luck.
I created stuff the way it is because I did. I had an idea and I ran with it. If the universe were unrecognisably different, the denizens of that universe would ask the same question.
Heaven is whatever you want it to be. At least the mortal side of heaven. The angel side of heaven is basically just a city-analogue. Other two universes serve the same purpose yours does, experimentation and amusement. The only real difference is that the laws of physics are different.
>>561692090 They're vaguely humanoid. I like to stick to a pattern. Greyish blue skin, black eyes that see in a broader spectrum of light than humans. No vocal cords, they communicate silently. Pre-industrial culture at the moment.
Humans are the only sapient mortals to ever exist on earth.
>>561692370 Free will. Creativity originates in the soul. Can be affected by outside stimuli. The color green, for example, increases creativity. I know whatever I want to know, though I generally prefer to consume fiction in a linear fashion.
>>561692396 I don't care if people worship me. It's nice I guess. Won't make me help you though. Your memory sucks because evolution never shaped human minds for modern society.
>>561692538 A photo would be pointless, since it would be pure blackness. There's also not really an edge, matter and energy just peter out across a few billion light years or so.
>>561692828 I met Adam as a regular looking bloke. Somewhere along the line that got retconned for an old guy. Humans like their major gods to look fifty-odd. It's a trend that's spanned millenia. I just appear how I want to appear, or how people expect me to look.
>>561692962 There is no Revelations-esque apocalypse. The only way humanity is getting wiped out in your lifetime is if you idiots do it to yourselves.
>>561694281 If you read the thread, you would know that there are. There's countless quintillions of planets harbouring alien life in the universe. Within twenty-odd light years of Sol, there's about a dozen of them.
There are no other gods. Many planets worship gods, most of which are either me or one of the angels dicking about. All wildly different from Earth religions, of course.
>>561696432 Why would I need to create a whole universe just for that? There are plenty of planets occupied solely by what humans would call sociopaths if that's what you mean. As it happens, most of them can't cooperate long enough with their own species to get past pre-industrial cultures.
>>561696556 The intent is important. Drunken car crashes for example don't count.
Science math and logic are important. Just because you're more knowledgeable about something than someone else doesn't make you a better person though.
>>561696592 My four sons the archangels are basically my best friends.
You don't have a number written on your palm at the moment.
>>561696736 Sin is a human invention, and affects nothing regarding how you get treated in the afterlife.
>>561697016 Evolution is real. You didn't evolve from monkeys, you just share the vast majority of your ancestors with them.
>>561697745 No. There must be both intent to kill yourself, and it has to be done directly by you. So if it was pressing a button that gave you ten million bucks, but also gave you, say, mercury poisoning that would kill you in two years, that would count.
>>561697573 Sorry but I actually had a number written in the palm of my hand. And I waited since the minute I post that with my hand in the air so you could certainly read it. Why dont you try again? Its a number from 1 to 10.
>>561698351 Mortals have entertained me more than enough over the millennia to justify creating life.
>>561698479 Infection. You should probably visit a dentist.
>>561698652 It irks me. It pisses me more off when people claim to be me. Seriously, the look on Jesus' face when I took his inherited powers away right before the Romans arrested him, fucking hilarious.
If a swarm of zombies was just about to consume me and I had a gun with one bullet left. If I shot myself in the head killing myself (technically suicide so that means no heaven) would I still not go to heaven considering I did it for the pure purpose of not enduring the pain of being eaten alive.
>>561699198 maybe its asking to much, but id really appreciate it if you told me "Steve, if you accidentally strangle yourself while beating off, you will still go to heaven" or something to that point.
>>561699442 I am a psychopath, wouldn't it amuse you to give me dominion over a randomly selected set of humans so that I may study the workings of society itself? I promise to make it as painful as possible for said set of humans, as to make it more amusing for you.
>>561700416 You can already do shit like that by yourself. You're just too retarded to understand that because you're scared to abuse people with the risk of retaliation because you want to hurt people without hurting yourself which makes you insignificant at this concept.
>>561700704 I can garuntee you that I don't fear retaliation. I just currently lack the social standing/resources that it would take to run a large scale experiment like that. I already run small scale studies in which I pit random people against each other.
Do you have a plan or any grand scheme going? What are you doing with your time now, other than watch us killing ourselves for a short while and then join you in heaven for eternity? Do you have a long term mission?
You must have a really sad existance, what will you do after you're bored with life and creation? Or do you already know? Or maybe you don't want to know and that's why you don't allow yourself to know everything at once.
is heaven our very own pocket of the universe where we are god ?`
If I would be in Heaven I would get bored after around 100 years. bored and pretty lonely. Can I enter other peoples heaven or join a community heaven of some sort ? would be nice if you explain the concept a bit more
>>561704532 I don't really have a favourite. They each have their own specialties. If I want someone to watch mortals suffer with me, I'll go with Raphael or Lucifer, if I'm feeling a little more humanitarian, I'll go with Gabriel or Michael.
>>561707867 No, I haven't. If I did, I imagine that the universe would just continue on as it has, just without me tweaking it here and there.
You could be a god if you wanted to. Some do initially, especially Mormons. Most get tired of running a universe very quickly, or realise they can't manage it, and go back to something a little smaller scale.
>>561708731 It's a separate universe. Yes, you could do that. You could wish for a version of the Star Wars prequels that didn't suck and they would materialise without any additional effort from you.
>>561708772 Heaven is an uncountable number of bubbles, each of which contain a soul experiencing their own personal heaven. The angel side of heaven is analogous to a vast city of crystalline superstructures. It's the most similar to this universe, and the only one that can really be explained in a manner that makes sense to mortals.
The only beings that can travel between universes are angels and myself. If I ever connected universes, the conflicting laws of physics would rend both universes asunder.
>>561709105 Not really, because it doesn't affect me in any way. A couple billion humans not believing in me does not really bother me compared to the trillion or so other sentients living within twenty light years of Sol alone, most of which believe I exist in one form or another.
>>561709741 Where did my keyring go? It was nowhere in the room where it could have fallen out of my pocket. We searched the entire house many times. Also there was no incentive for anyone that evening for stealing it because the most important key was missing and the stranger did not know where I live.
>>561709719 I didn't design them to do shit. Wiping standing is easier though.
>>561709897 You can watch the mortal realm if you want. Niggers are not that different from other races. If you want a fucking joke of a race, look at the Australian Aborigines. They're a fucking mess. The only race that is legitimately less intelligent than the rest.
Heaven was Michael's idea. He's the moralfag of the family, at least as close as angels come to moralfaggotry anyway. He's quite attached to you mortals, he kept bothering me about giving you guys something back for being my playtoys in life. Couple million years ago I finally acceded, if only to make him shut up about it.
>>561710373 You said heaven was a bunch of different bubbles so to speak. Can one person go into another persons bubble or is there just communication between bubbles? Or is everything inside a persons bubble like that movie Vanilla Sky?
>>561702213 answer this, i frequently have dreams about something happening that i couldnt really know and the next day i remember the dream and follow up on it and it's real, it's always something too specific to be coincidence but its also always something useless
Fuck that, wtf else do I have to do with an eternity of free will and omnipotence, I would learn to manage it through countless years inside my little bubble prison until I would eventually brake through to you and take your throne old man!
Inb4 "shouldn't have told him faget". The fucker's omnipotent, he would already have know if someone would be planning something like this. I am coming for you and your desk, boss.
You're omnipresent so im sure you're hearing me ask for that dudes ability from jumper. I'd just like to get a written answer of yes or no because closure and all that. You know my reasoning why i think you should give it me so if you could be a bro and do it that'd be awesome.
>>561711940 false memories my ass, the last time happened on a car engine i bought. it came with 2 badges from the junkyard epoxied on for ID. i dreamed that i took the bottom one off by hand, which i thought was a stupid thing to dream since epoxy is rock hard. the next day i tried to take the badges off, top one was solid as a rock, didnt budge, the bottom one came off with my fingernail.
>>561711857 Not noticeably. Any green-eyed human is descended from nephilim, but that's no indication of concentration of genetics. There are people with higher concentrations than you with other coloured eyes.
>>561712550 I generally go male, only go female if I'm doing something kinky.
I mingle among mortals. See how the other half lives, if you will. As I mentioned earlier, I maintain an avatar in Norway. Nobody who I hang with there know who I really am, of course, but it's always an interesting experience. Once a year or so, I'll manifest in full God regalia in front of someone and declare my existence to him, just for kicks. Usually they end up crazy and homeless.
>>561712935 I don't give people shit unless I feel they deserve it. Go out and be impressive in a way related to teleporting abilities. Tesla got super-intelligence because he was an awesome inventor, Teddy Roosevelt got superhuman might because he was fucking Teddy Roosevelt, the manliest man to ever man, and so on.
>>561713260 No, your dream was vaguely similar, and got rewrote as the events were occuring in real life. Very common phenomenon.
>>561713986 The only way i can come up with doing something impressive related to teleportation is to figure out how to teleport something. There are a few things wrong with this, 1 If i was able to create a way to teleport things then scientists much smarter than me would have figured it out already, 2 what the fuck would be the point in asking you for the ability at that point when i can already teleport shit? Don't give me an answer like anyone can do anything if they put your mind to it or i don't deserve it, that's just the lazy way out and noone deserves anything really. Give me a real reason why i cant have this. I'll even keep it on the down low so no one will know. You know it'll be worth it.
>>561715852 How about you give me a real reason why you should get superpowers for nothing? No, it will not be 'worth it' for me. If I wanted to watch somebody have the ability to teleport, I would view the several hundred thousand heavens where people gave themselves that ability and nothing else. Me empowering somebody has nothing to do with whether or not it will amuse me, it's about whether or not I think they have gone above and beyond regular mortals and have earned it. You have not.
>>561716017 Leftover shit from the creation of the universe.
>>561716229 Jesus, as said above, was not my divine son. The resurrection is bullshit. He's currently hanging out in Simon Peter's heaven where they are doing opium. I thought about punishing the fuck out of him for claiming to be me, but then I realised the millions of requests per second of Christians wanting to meet him is punishment enough.
>>561716970 why is that there were no kangoroos on the ark mentioned in the bible? Or to be more precise,why was everything mentioned in the bible,only in the 30 mile radious of the guy writing it?Also why didn't you just write a PS on the backpage,with something like "Tell them its round"
>>561717540 What do you think of the various fetishes/paraphilias out there, and society's views on them? What kind of weird shit are the aliens on Tau Ceti e into? Is there a particular species that you know of that happens to be particularly kinky, either by human standards or yours? What sort of things are you into? Do you like the big floppy horsecock?
>>561713986 you're full of shit god, the only reason i tried to remove the badges at all was because i had the dream and wanted to prove it wrong, i wouldn't have touched either badge if i hadn't had the dream in the first place. its not like i started fiddling with the badges and then remembered a dream about them. i remembered the dream when i woke up, and later went to test it and it was accurate.
>>561716970 Because why not ? Hey you said you need things to amuse you, well this can be somewhat new and fresh. The reason why it would differ from someone in heaven having it is because it'd be in an environment where superhuman abilities very rarely occur and very cleverly disguised if they are. Who else have you given superhuman powers too that have "deserved it" ? i'd like to know what constitutes going beyond regular mortals. So far you've mentioned two people who have achieved impressive things but other people have achieved things just as impressive.
>>561717828 Whatever floats your boner. Bestiality is a cultural norm for them. As in, they have pets that are solely for the purpose of sexual release. Sex between actual Tau Cetians is actually only done out of necessity, they're more prudish about intraspecies sex than the pilgrims, it's a strange juxtaposition.
I'm into pretty much anything. Scatology and water sports are fucking gross, but aside from that, I'm down for anything.
>>561686081 Why in the ever loving fuck are you so pointless? Honestly, how many people throughout history have been killed in your name, and all you've ever done is either condone the violence and the slaughter, or looked the other way entirely. People are dying, poor and hungry and starving, but you knowing everything decided that this was going to be allowed? There's so much wrong with the world, and you're doing absolutely nothing about it except having your fucking shit tier religious faggots complain that they don't get enough money for their fancy churches.
So here's my question. Why don't you go fuck yourself you great unmerciful shitty sky wizard?
>>561718571 well my dream wasnt "rewrote as the events were occuring in real life" as you said before. i said i woke up with the full memory of the dream and didn't act on it until several hours later at which point it tested accurate. so when did this 'rewrite' happen? because what youre talking about doesnt sound like what happens to me.
>>561719305 It is when I decide to be rational. Do you really think I would commit an extensive vocabulary to a shithole like /b/? For the purpose of inquiring as to why God is an entirely useless concept?
>>561718384 Yes, because people asking me for superpowers is new and fresh. Who else? Let me give you a couple example. -Joan of Arc -Da Vinci -Herakles -Freddie Mercury -Themistocles. In short, people who were among the greatest humans on Earth at the time. Also, not arrogant cunts. Joan of Arc for example got a little too big for her britches over the whole 'empowered by God thing, so I let them burn her at the stake.
>>561718692 Well for one thing, I killed off the dinosaurs so that mammals could become dominant. Most of it is background shit that isn't well known, but has massive consequences.
>>561718906 Well it's not too different from that of ancient Sparta (where homosexual relationships were not only normal, but encouraged amongst soldiers in a unit). There's very little animosity between the sexes, for one thing, unlike on Earth. Mating pairs are almost entirely political in nature. Saves a lot of irritation in dating, actually.
>>561718914 Because human suffering amuses me, is the short answer.
>>561719548 This:>>561719803 They primarily communicate through sign language, as well as via pheromones, which they comprehend on a more conscious level than humans do.
>>561719627 Every single time you 'remember' something, how you remember it changes. The most commonly cited example is how everyone remembers Darth Vader saying 'Luke, I am your father'. You can hear James Earl Jones' voice saying the line in your head. He never does. That line isn't in the movie.
>>561720181 Kek. Clearly you haven't looked around at your planet recently. If I gave a fuck about mortal welfare, you think that life would be like this for you lot?
>>561721598 I don't have a set of morals. I'm almost entirely amoral. There isn't a human society that reflects my moral values, because a society of human beings with my personality could never co-exist with one another.
>>561721783 So what sort of pets do Tau Cetians primarily own for sexual purposes? How and when did this practice come about? I can't imagine it being a universal phenomenon, since even if it were instinctive it'd have to come about after they'd have the capacity to understand that sex=babbies=perpetuation of species If there are any places where bestiality isn't the norm, what are those places like, and how have they not overrun the places where bestiality is the norm with their no-doubt higher birth rates?
>>561722343 I didn't. Their moralfaggotry is of their own doing.
>>561722350 It is analogous to a reptilian dog, about the size of a Great Dane (Tau Cetians are eight feet tall, for reference). It came about a couple thousand years ago, when one dude stuck his sexual organ into one on a bet and realised that, via pure evolutionary coincidence it was infinitely more pleasurable than having sex with a female of his own species. From there, word spread quickly, and women discovered that the male 'dogs' were a similar story. There was actually a major population crisis at one point because everyone was fucking the animals instead of each other, until their government (oligarchy) set up the current system. The practice is near-universal, the only people who don't do it are people who can't afford the upkeep of a sexual partner. There is a small community of religious types who consider the whole thing to be an affront to me, but being super-prudish religious types, their birthrate isn't terribly large either.
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