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God here. Ask anything. Except boring shit like 'is she

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 307
Thread images: 47

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God here. Ask anything. Except boring shit like 'is she the one?', I'm not a fucking two-bit fortune teller.
>>
How were you created?
>>
Prove that you're god.
>>
i like dick
am i going to hell
>>
>>561686081
God, if you are omnipotent, how can you claim that free will exists? You will already know what action each person will take in advance, therefore it is pre-determined.
>>
>>561686081
Is she the one?
>>
>>561686137
I wasn't, I predate time. I always existed.

>>561686152
Your name is Fahad, you live in Canada. Quebec, to be precise.
>>
>>561686081
Why create us in your image? If god is perfect then why make us poor knockoffs?
>>
>>561686216
No. I don't give a fuck where people stick their genitals. Also, there is no hell.

>>561686223
First of all, you're thinking of omniscience. Secondly, I'm not omniscient, I just know whatever I want to know. I prevent myself from knowing the absolute future to allow for free will to exist.
>>
>>561686081
If you're omnipotent, can you exist and not exist at the same time?

Not that I care, but you could do that at least for a while just to have some lulz off religo- and atheifags?
>>
>>561686337
I didn't. Evolution shaped you. Why the fuck else would the majority of your DNA be useless leftover junk, and so much of your physiology be obsolete?
>>
>>561686081
are any religions correct?
>>
Which is a bigger insult, atheism, or religion?
>>
>>561686081
How do I cure my social anxiety?
>>
>>561686081
Can you do me a favor and kill that bitch i hate? Like come on m8, we will pretend it was some kind of accident or shit.
>>
ayy god. nice that these are a bit more frequent.
I have a few questions

How does free will work exactly ?

who shot down the plane over Ukraine and who holds the black box?

will the singularity occur within my lifetime ?

what would have one to do to 'impress' a god

also who killed nikola tesla
>>
Why do I read your post as if that is what you are typing/saying, as if it is yours, when if I look closely at the words it's just pixels lighting up on my laptop screen in front of me, alone in this room.
>>
>>561686081
What is your stand on homosexuality?
>>
>>561686317
My name is not fahad and I don't live in Quebec
>>
Claims he's god
not a fortune teller
gtfo
>>
How can you be god when I'm fucking god?!
>>
My goddess said that she won the universe in a poker game with you.
>>
Why won't you forgive lucifer and let him move back in with you, God?
>>
>>561686081
why the fuck did you create humans, if not for some sick form of entertainment? do you have fun watching us slaughter each other?
>>
>>561686081
God, why did Jeremy light the Wunderkerze(Sparkler) that was stuck in his urethra? We all told him not to but he insisted and would not let us stop him. The smell and the screams still haunt me. Please tell me so I can sleep well at night again
>>
my hypothesis is that you are an AI that was created by some advanced species. since you've been thrown into a life working completely different than ours you don't have time and everything

these universes and all you have created is merely a simulation to satisfy your coriousness/boredom.

tl;dr god is a computer system and we are a simulation

true (y/n)?
>>
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the bottle. is it lube?
>>
>>561687157
answer this
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plz respond
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why do I have to bump gods thread.

answer me pls

>>561686767
>>561687234
>>
>>561688093
also if this is some sort of simulation, drop me some cheat codes pls

:^)
>>
>>561686569
The vast majority of my being resides outside of logic, or physics, or any rules of your universe, so technically yes, I both exist and do not exist at the same time.

>>561686660
They're all flagrantly inaccurate, but many get at least one or two things right. In this day and age, I generally present myself to humans as the Abrahamic God since they're so popular right now.

>>561686662
Neither.

>>561686683
Practice.

>>561686762
I can. I can't be bothered to though.

>>561686767
I haven't made a real one in several weeks. There have been a couple others, but they are false.
Free will is what allows for you to make irrational decisions instead of ones based in logic. The decision is made within your soul, and is unaffected by your brain chemistry. I ran a lot of simulations to make sure that it's actually free will and not just automation.

The Russian separatists shot down the plane. The black box is in the possession of British specialists at the moment who are recovering the data therein.

Potentially, but that's dependent on several free-will related factors I avoid violating.

If I tell you what to do, I'm not going to be impressed when you do it.

Tesla died of natural causes. Coronary thrombosis.

>>561686846
Because you have the gift of literacy.
>>
>>561686081
God, how did you resist insanity ? I mean, even robots with simple instruction such as 'don't hit each other' can have insane individuals. How, with the complexity of the universe and all it's jarring information/data with the life span you have, you didn't develope any psychological diseases ?
>>
>>561686081
Am I destined to make music for the rest of my life?
Or is my dream bond to fail?
>>
>>561686081
is she the one?
>>
>>561686925
I never had sex with you.

>>561687000
The devil is a human invention. Lucifer was never booted out of heaven.

>>561687157
Pretty much, yeah. Celestial events got boring after a few billion years, so I created life for further amusement.

>>561687234
If it is true, I've never seen any indication thereof. No glitch in the Matrix, if you will. Therefore there is no reason to believe thusly.

>>561688389
Well I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. So I wouldn't say I've entirely avoided mental illness.

>>561688413
Depends on your free will. As I said in the OP, I don't tell people's fortunes, it tends to depress them.
>>
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Must. Hijack. God. Thread.
>>
>>561688272
whats your favorite book (inb4 bible)

how is the older one of my two sisters doing ?

to make this a bit more entertaining, what kind of questions would you like to hear the most ?
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>>561686081
should i work on a tanker or on a heavy lifter?
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>>561688791
Gods first name confirmed to be Carl
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>>561689078
>>
>>561688928
I don't have a favourite book. I've read trillions of them, kind of hard to pick a favourite.

Turning tricks on a camgirl site. She does pretty well actually.

Big questions, not one about the tiny irrelevancies of the lives in individual mortals.
>>
>>561689110
Tanker

>>561689114
I'm not going to deny that those animations amuse me greatly.
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>>561689404
Who the fuck made that and decided it was legible?
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>>561689319
why go on a tanker?
could you please give some pros and cons?
>>
>>561689484
>>
>>561686081
What's my name?
>>
>>561689574
Because if you go on a heavy lifter you will die in a horrible accident. Not even kidding. It's an inevitability.

>>561689625
Ray
>>
>>561689760
dang nab it! ok thanks i guess
>>
>>561689760
damn mate I was really hoping you were real. But it seems not. So long faggots.

>tl;dr There is no God.
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>>561689221
Where are the nearest civilisations to us in the milky way ?

When will Half life 3 come out (is it even in developement )?

What was the first thing you created willfully ?

If the universe is as large as you said in last thread (correct me if I'm wrong) since its far larger than a googolplex , it is impossible that somewhere out there is not an exact copy of everything

to quote numberphile: In a universe which is "a Googolplex meters across", if you would travel far enough, you would expect to eventually begin finding duplicates of yourself.
now how large is it and why is it so large ? is the universe infinite ?
>>
Two questions.

What is my name?

Why did you allow science to continually lead people to doubt when you could have had it lead people to belief?
>>
If i were to take all my shit from all my shits and have them constructed into bricks and stacked them 6 feet high, how long would the wall be
>>
How close is the bible to what you wanted? Were those letters that jesus' homies added total nonsense that they wanted to add?
>>
>>561686081
Hey god,
When will the next era/age begin?
>>
>>561686081
can you tell my brother that i love him and that i'm sorry i couldn't help him?
>>
Dear god,

Everybody keeps telling me i HAVE to get a job, but things have worked out nicely so far. They're all just a bunch of mad haters right?

Love, yo nigga Steve
>>
for the anons

Licht = Light

Sterne = Stars

The idea is that if you have a perfectly flat Universe and it would be folded, the light would have to travel across the surface and do the "long way", while Gravitation could act through the planes in a 3 dimensional way.
This is one explanation for dark matter. We just see Mass thats actually billions of lightyears away.

God, is that true ? and if not, what explains Dark Matter ?
>>
Prove you're God to me, As I do not believe you exist.
>>
>>561686081
what happens to us when we die?
heaven?Valhalla?reincarnation?nothing?hades?
>>
>>561686081


Do you ever have internet problems?

Also do you work the same way Futurmama portrayed God?
>>
can the soul be observed or measured ?
what is it ?

If this were some sort of divine simulation. Couldnt we (or any other species for that matter) develop as far that we have understood how everything works and use it to elevate us on your level.
tl;dr is apotheosis possible ?

do I find these threads by chance or is there method in it ?

Why create everything the way it is ? After what have you modeled everything ? and why create the universe in the first sense (entertainment, i know) but why exactly a Universe ?

Also how does Heaven look like, how does it work and what are the other two universes/why are they there. What happens there ?
>>
God plz respond
>>
>>561690069
There's alien life on Titan, but as far as civilisations go, the nearest is Tau Ceti e.

Half Life 3 may come out eventually, but it's not even in development right now.

First thing I created was time. The laws of physics and the Big Bang came shortly thereafter.

The observable universe from Earth comprises of approximately 1/217th of the universe in full. There's not an exact copy of everything, but there are extremely similar versions of many things. There's a couple dozen alien species that would be extremely difficult to differentiate from humans, but all of them are many hundreds of galaxies away.

It's so huge because my capacity to multitask is so huge that I need a lot of shit to keep from being bored.

>>561690076
Because I don't care if people believe in me or not.

>>561690135
Depends on the size of the bricks.

>>561690180
The bible was written by men. I inspired it via my actions, not by telling them to write shit. A lot of it is wild exaggeration or straight up horseshit. Noah's Ark, for example, was the fishing boat of a drunkard during a minor local flood. Jesus was the bastard child of Mary and a manwhore Archangel.

>>561690207
I avoid knowing the absolute future. Best estimate, tween two hundred to five hundred years from now.

>>561690461
People often make shit out to be way bigger a deal than it actually is. So long as you're happy with your current gig, keep with it.
>>
>>561686081
Do you think she's the one, mr. god?
>>
>>561691759
What does the Lifeforms of Tau Ceti e. look like ?

Also did intelligent life ever visited earth ?
>>
Is the universe infinite in all directions?

How many dimensions are there?
>>
>>561690564
Dark matter and dark energy are leftover shit from the creation of the universe. Truth be told, I made a right mess of it, very inefficient. This universe was the first I created of the four that currently exist, so there's a bunch of detritus lying around I can't be fucked to clean up.

>>561690602
That's ok. I don't give a fuck if people believe in me. Hell, sometimes I nudge people away from believing in me, just to mess with them.

>>561690910
Everyone goes to heaven, which is whatever you want it to be, except for people who kill themselves. They cease to exist.

>>561691054
I would if I couldn't just repair any issue that might affect my avatar.

Futurama's god is similar to my way of functioning, only much more benevolent. At least on Earth that is. My tactics vary wildly from planet to planet, experimentation if you will.
>>
How does creativity work? Is it free will based or do you know what will be made beforehand? If it is free will do you have to read/watch/look it to know it?
>>
>>561686081
Do you approve of people worshiping you? Also why is my memory so shit?
>>
what does the edge of the universe look like (photo maybe ?!)

how does it work "the edge"
>>
>>561686081
meaning of life?
>>
>>561686081
since you're god, you could be an handsome young man
so why are you hairy and old?
you're just a gerontophile fag who likes to masturbate in front of a mirror, aren't you?
>>
When is the end coming?
>>
>>561691604
Souls don't exist in the conventional universe. Eventually your scientists will probably learn enough about brain chemistry that there is an element involved that they can't detect or interact with.

You can figure out physics to their ultimate understanding, but that doesn't mean you would be able to manipulate them. Especially not at my level, considering there's a whole bunch of stuff involved that is entirely undetectable by mortals.

You found the thread by luck.

I created stuff the way it is because I did. I had an idea and I ran with it. If the universe were unrecognisably different, the denizens of that universe would ask the same question.

Heaven is whatever you want it to be. At least the mortal side of heaven. The angel side of heaven is basically just a city-analogue. Other two universes serve the same purpose yours does, experimentation and amusement. The only real difference is that the laws of physics are different.
>>
>>561686081
Tits or GTFO
>>
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>>561693472
>>
am i nigger
>>
>>561686081
>1-Bit fortune teller
ftfy
>>
>>561686081
Does other Intelligent life exist beyond our Solar System? Do they have gods they worship? Do other gods exist?
>>
>>561692090
They're vaguely humanoid. I like to stick to a pattern. Greyish blue skin, black eyes that see in a broader spectrum of light than humans. No vocal cords, they communicate silently. Pre-industrial culture at the moment.

Humans are the only sapient mortals to ever exist on earth.

>>561692318
Read the thread.

>>561692370
Free will. Creativity originates in the soul. Can be affected by outside stimuli. The color green, for example, increases creativity. I know whatever I want to know, though I generally prefer to consume fiction in a linear fashion.

>>561692396
I don't care if people worship me. It's nice I guess. Won't make me help you though. Your memory sucks because evolution never shaped human minds for modern society.

>>561692538
A photo would be pointless, since it would be pure blackness. There's also not really an edge, matter and energy just peter out across a few billion light years or so.

>>561692682
Amuse me and reproduce.

>>561692828
I met Adam as a regular looking bloke. Somewhere along the line that got retconned for an old guy. Humans like their major gods to look fifty-odd. It's a trend that's spanned millenia. I just appear how I want to appear, or how people expect me to look.

>>561692962
There is no Revelations-esque apocalypse. The only way humanity is getting wiped out in your lifetime is if you idiots do it to yourselves.
>>
do we have one eternal afterlife? Where do I live?
>>
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Good morning God, why the fuck did you make me where i'm only attracted to 2D women?
>>
>>561694281
If you read the thread, you would know that there are. There's countless quintillions of planets harbouring alien life in the universe. Within twenty-odd light years of Sol, there's about a dozen of them.

There are no other gods. Many planets worship gods, most of which are either me or one of the angels dicking about. All wildly different from Earth religions, of course.
>>
>>561694291
so what you mean is that we (humans) are the true gerontophile fag here? neat
>>
>>561694318
RTFT

>>561694550
I did not. That's your own fault.

>>561694601
Pretty much. Something to do with most of your history you have been ruled by old guys.
>>
>>561686081
I'm still not convinced of your Godly status. May you prove me your power and tell me who I am behind this computer screen? Name and Slight location will suffice.
>>
So when will World War Three start?
>inb4 there is no WW3
Everytime something happens in the middle east, why?
>>
>>561694291
Have you consumed all existent fiction?

Has anyone ever had a thought that was original even to you? like as a bad example a human created the concept of a vampire?
>>
>>561694731
>>561694731
>>561694731
>>561694731


Am I getting my mother out of that shithole of a country next year?

How am I escaping the whole "cant meet people my age" bullshit? Being the 20-year-old engineer's cash but the social part is exhausting
>>
>>561694731
seems to be a legit answer
btw did hitler do something wrong?
>>
how many toasters would it take to scare bill clinton?
>>
>>561694731
What is the theory of everything that einstein was looking for?
>>
Can you post your desktop? Are you using any kind of keyboard so you can type? What keyboard?
>>
>>561694761
Amit, Australia.

>>561694853
Depends on free will. Read the damn thread.

>>561694870
Most of it. If it's shitty I'll stop reading. Plenty of mortal ideas are new to me, I gave you creativity precisely for that reason.

>>561695086
He gave me a lovely spectacle. Unfortunately he killed himself, so no heaven for him.

>>561695269
Depends on how creatively you implement them.

>>561695316
e = everything.
I don't hand out major pieces of theoretical physics to anyone who asks.

>>561695404
I am typing this via an avatar in Norway. My desktop? This image. It amuses me, and the god it depicts is one of my favourite manifestations.
>>
>>561695713
Why dont you?
>>
>>561695713
what about assisted suicide? do i get into heaven then?
>>
>>561696127
Because that would be like if JK Rowling just gave Harry all the horcruxes at the very start of book seven. Defeats the point.
>>
>>561695713
What is my name, where do I live, and what am I doing?

Also, have you created a universe where people do not possess consciences? If so, what is it like?
>>
>>561696195
So long as you aren't the one pulling the trigger, so to speak.
>>
>>561696195
And accidental suicide, like autoerotic asphyxiation?

also are science, math, and logic all that important and superior as people like to claim?
>>
>>561696257
It would be amusing to give harry the seven horcruxes though.
And wouldn't you want amusement?
>>
Do you have any friend? Like, to the level of "hey, what are you doing" "nothing much, just ???".
Also, which number did I just write in the palm of my left hand?
>>
Thoughts on sinners?
>>
>>561686660
>>561686662
Did anyone not see these two fucking contenders for quads
>>
Does your definition of free will mean we essentially are subconsciously evolving ourselves? Did we evolve from monkeys or a mirror image of you?
>>
How many shits do you take a day?
>>
>>561695713
How are we doing compared to those other lifeforms, scientifically and morally speaking?
>>
do you have anything to say to me ?
>>
>>561697016
We didn't evolve from monkeys.

Learn basic evolution.
>>
>>561696432
Why would I need to create a whole universe just for that? There are plenty of planets occupied solely by what humans would call sociopaths if that's what you mean. As it happens, most of them can't cooperate long enough with their own species to get past pre-industrial cultures.

>>561696556
The intent is important. Drunken car crashes for example don't count.

Science math and logic are important. Just because you're more knowledgeable about something than someone else doesn't make you a better person though.

>>561696592
My four sons the archangels are basically my best friends.

You don't have a number written on your palm at the moment.

>>561696736
Sin is a human invention, and affects nothing regarding how you get treated in the afterlife.

>>561697016
Evolution is real. You didn't evolve from monkeys, you just share the vast majority of your ancestors with them.

>>561697021
I produce no fecal matter.

>>561697212
Objective morality does not exist. Scientifically, you're ahead, since most of them have factors preventing them from rising above pre-industrial civilisation.
>>
>>561686152
fuck if i know?
>>
>>561696471
What do you define as suicide? If I pressed a button that gave me ten million bucks, but has me killed by someone after two years, does that count as suicide?
>>
>>561697573
If objective morality doesn't exist, then by your definition of free will psychopaths and or those who we call mentally disordered have free will.
>>
>>561697745
No. There must be both intent to kill yourself, and it has to be done directly by you. So if it was pressing a button that gave you ten million bucks, but also gave you, say, mercury poisoning that would kill you in two years, that would count.
>>
>>561697573
Good point. Alright, have you ever thrown a person who had absolutely no business in a position of power into a position of power just for the lulz?

Also, you didn't answer my first question.
>>
>>561697573
back to autoerotic asphyxiation with the intent of orgasm and not death but dying anyways. id like to be clear on this for no particular reason.
>>
>>561697573
Sorry but I actually had a number written in the palm of my hand. And I waited since the minute I post that with my hand in the air so you could certainly read it. Why dont you try again? Its a number from 1 to 10.
>>
>>561686081
how do I make a deal with you?
>>
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this thread is ****ing terrible...
>>
Hell, I'll bite. You say that you created humans to entertain you. Of all our very short existence, have you found a particular event amusing enough to you to justify our creation?
>>
>>561698281
And you're a faggot. What do you expect from /b/?
>>
>>561697864
Yep.

>>561698038
Yes. Hitler. Dude was a fucking shitty painter, I'm amazed that he got as far as he did.

I'm done with the name thing. There's no point to it when trolls deny it anyway. I usually do a few at the start of a thread, then stop.
>>
Why does my fucking tooth hurt?
>>
>>561698387
yeah i'm not a faggot in any way. i'm a christian i would never have sex with another man.
>>
>>561698506
so you are denying god, looks like you dont really care faggot
>>
>>561686081
Doesn't the fact that most religions try, or have tried, to profit off you piss you off?
>>
Do you actually like skeeball?
>>
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>>561698598
>>561698598
excuse me, i am negative god?
>>
>>561686081
Is shreck actually dreck?
>>
>>561686081
tell me this, if everyone that lives goes to heaven then why the hell am i not there now, there is really no reason to exist except to give me da pussy bosss
>>
>>561698148
You need to know that you're going to die, intend to die, and do it yourself.

>>561698204
You have literally nothing I want.

>>561698351
Mortals have entertained me more than enough over the millennia to justify creating life.

>>561698479
Infection. You should probably visit a dentist.

>>561698652
It irks me. It pisses me more off when people claim to be me. Seriously, the look on Jesus' face when I took his inherited powers away right before the Romans arrested him, fucking hilarious.

>>561698653
Yes.

>>561698750
Shrek is a solid movie.

>>561699009
Watching mortals suffer is my favourite pastime.
>>
If a swarm of zombies was just about to consume me and I had a gun with one bullet left. If I shot myself in the head killing myself (technically suicide so that means no heaven) would I still not go to heaven considering I did it for the pure purpose of not enduring the pain of being eaten alive.
>>
>>561699253
Yes. That's kind of the whole point. Suicide is denying me entertainment.
>>
>>561699198
maybe its asking to much, but id really appreciate it if you told me "Steve, if you accidentally strangle yourself while beating off, you will still go to heaven" or something to that point.
>>
was ochi murdered or was it really a suicide
>>
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>>561699009
>everyone that lives goes to heaven
>Everyone goes to heaven
What the fuck are you talking about dude?
>>
>>561699609
so theres no need/room for interpretation
>>
>>561699442
I am a psychopath, wouldn't it amuse you to give me dominion over a randomly selected set of humans so that I may study the workings of society itself? I promise to make it as painful as possible for said set of humans, as to make it more amusing for you.
>>
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>>561699847
>I am a psychopath,
>give me dominion over a randomly selected set of human
>> so that I may study the workings of society itself?

What the fuck are you talking about dude? Dude, you are fucking gay as shit bro.
>>
>>561699609
Steve, if you accidentally strangle yourself while beating off, you will still go to heaven

>>561699685
Suicide

>>561699847
Probably would, only I've got millions of similar individuals dotted around the galaxy. Do it yourself.
>>
>>561700191
then why was he found so far away from where he got shot
>>
>>561700096
Society in and of itself interests me. The way it works, why certain people are in power, etc. Also, in case you didn't realize this thread is us asking God questions.
>>
I hope this haunts you if you've lied to me. if not thanks
>>
>>561700420
on that note, Any regrets or mistakes?
>>
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>>561700416
You can already do shit like that by yourself. You're just too retarded to understand that because you're scared to abuse people with the risk of retaliation because you want to hurt people without hurting yourself which makes you insignificant at this concept.
>>
>>561700704
I can garuntee you that I don't fear retaliation. I just currently lack the social standing/resources that it would take to run a large scale experiment like that. I already run small scale studies in which I pit random people against each other.
>>
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>>561700946
Well I have tortured thousands of people at once for a conducted social experiment.
>>
>>561701035
My goal isn't necessarily torture. Its more how people react to different situations that truly interests me.
>>
>>561700527
As I said above, the initial creation of the universe was a bit of a mess. Wish I'd made a neater job of it.
>>
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>>561701594
Yeah i've already done it before.
>>
>>561695009
India, bro?
>>
>>561701775
Sakuya you piece of shit
>>
>>561686867
it is now
>>
>>561701603
One last thing. Will you set a new plague into motion? Perhaps give Ebola the push it needs to wipe out a good portion of earths population.
>>
>>561686081
why am i only able to have accurate premonitions about completely useless stuff?
>>
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>>561702162
You should probably just wipe yourself out you insignificant little faggot... Nobody has to die but you.
>>
>>561702324
Sakuya an shit
>>
>>561702324
If seems to be your life goal to call as many people faggots on 4chan as possible. I hope you fulfill that goal.

>captcha: Fgby mad
>>
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>>561702638
>Fgby mad
>>
>>561686081
Will I get friends?
Will I get a gf?
Will I be happy?
>>
>>561699198
Would please the LORD if I started beating heathens to death with my 29" realistic horsecock dildo?
>>
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>>561702638
>>
What was the one thing that an archangel did that pissed you off the most?
>>
>>561700191
Did the plot of "Sei So Tsui Dan Sha"
ever actually happen?
I really fucking laughed my ass of!
>>
>>561702638
Did he leave the thread?
>>
>>561686081
What is the meaning of bagel
>>
>>561703091
That would be pretty fucking funny.

>>561703306
Lucifer wiped out a couple planets. He's not big on mortals. Had to beat the shit out of him for it.

>>561703428
No

>>561703524
Stopped paying attention briefly when those two had a pissing contest about who's more edgy.
>>
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>>561704110
>hurt
>>
>>561704110
Make it happen pls, so I can experience it live!

Does it anger Google when I purposefully enter the wrong string for the unknown part of a ReCapta?
>>
>>561686081
Why'd you send them to mars?
>>
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>>
Is tupac dead?
>>
Who is your favourite archangel, and are they aware of who you like the most?
>>
Richard Dawkins here. Damn it, I guess I was wrong. Will you forgive me?
>>
Can you say something to me to motivate me in life?
>>
>>561704381
*ReCaptcha
>>
>>561704110
Do you find infantile rape as hilarious as I do?
>>
>>561686081

Do you have a plan or any grand scheme going? What are you doing with your time now, other than watch us killing ourselves for a short while and then join you in heaven for eternity? Do you have a long term mission?

You must have a really sad existance, what will you do after you're bored with life and creation? Or do you already know? Or maybe you don't want to know and that's why you don't allow yourself to know everything at once.
>>
How do we decide what heaven is ?

could it be that this here is heaven ?

is heaven our very own pocket of the universe where we are god ?`


If I would be in Heaven I would get bored after around 100 years. bored and pretty lonely. Can I enter other peoples heaven or join a community heaven of some sort ? would be nice if you explain the concept a bit more
>>
>>561686504
This is actually a good reconciliation of omniscience + free will.

Either that or I am more high than I think I am.
>>
>>561686867
/thread
>>
whats my name, where do i live?
>>
do you go by allah

what do you think about islam
>>
>>561686081
Fuck you, you sadist. Please forgive me.
>>
>>561686081
Why do you care what humans do in their spare time.
>>
>>561704532
I don't really have a favourite. They each have their own specialties. If I want someone to watch mortals suffer with me, I'll go with Raphael or Lucifer, if I'm feeling a little more humanitarian, I'll go with Gabriel or Michael.

>>561705228
Little bit.

>>561705625
No grand scheme. Just going with the flow.

>>561706542
Heaven is what you want it to be. You get to choose a starting point, and can alter reality within your own heaven at will. You can communicate between heavens if both parties allow it.

>>561706676
Fahad was lying. I would think that would be obvious.

>>561707138
I am as ambivalent towards Islam as I am towards Christianity. It's about the same level of accuracy.
>>
>>561707362
So basically, we become mini gods after death? Do we still amuse you further in heaven?
>>
>>561706948
Niel from West africa.
>>
>>561707341
I don't. Read the thread, I make that fairly obvious.

>>561707690
I rarely bother looking at heaven. It's essentially just a bunch of overpowered people winning at everything, and that's no fun.
>>
>>561707362

Have you ever contemplated suicide Mr. God Sir? What would be the consequences of you an heroing?

also If I can effectively do whatever I want inside my own personal little heaven space does that mean I get to be a god over my own universe?
>>
>>561707867
No one cares dude.
>>
>>561707867
You aren't going to heaven bro. you have to be a good boy.
>>
>>561707867
No, I haven't. If I did, I imagine that the universe would just continue on as it has, just without me tweaking it here and there.

You could be a god if you wanted to. Some do initially, especially Mormons. Most get tired of running a universe very quickly, or realise they can't manage it, and go back to something a little smaller scale.
>>
Hi god.
could you tell me what my folks are doing in their personal heaven?
>>
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>>561701603

You said you'd stop, but still.

My name?

Also:

Do you hate any Country more than others?

Pic not related
>>
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hey god you ever have sex with a loli?
>>
is heaven just inside our minds or an actual thing.

Like if I wanted to create a library with books I've never read, could I do that ?
>>
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>>561707362
Thanks God!

Do you find this humorist
>>
>>561707837
Can you vaguely explain what the realms outside of our physics are like?

Will you ever connect universes?

Which amusement park am I about to go to?
>>
>>561686081
do you care if anyone believes in you? If yes, why?
>>
>>561686317
how can you exist BEFORE time? the word BEFORE doesnt make sense
>>
>>561708495
Yes. I've had sex with most stuff.

>>561708731
It's a separate universe. Yes, you could do that. You could wish for a version of the Star Wars prequels that didn't suck and they would materialise without any additional effort from you.

>>561708772
Heaven is an uncountable number of bubbles, each of which contain a soul experiencing their own personal heaven. The angel side of heaven is analogous to a vast city of crystalline superstructures. It's the most similar to this universe, and the only one that can really be explained in a manner that makes sense to mortals.

The only beings that can travel between universes are angels and myself. If I ever connected universes, the conflicting laws of physics would rend both universes asunder.

>>561709105
Not really, because it doesn't affect me in any way. A couple billion humans not believing in me does not really bother me compared to the trillion or so other sentients living within twenty light years of Sol alone, most of which believe I exist in one form or another.
>>
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hey god

what do i do if i want to fuck your holy asshole?
>>
>>561686081
Did you design humans to wipe sitting or standing?
>>
>>561709280
I'm using terms that mortals like you, that can't comprehend what a timeless existence is like, can understand.

>>561709618
Rape a priest. It's close enough.
>>
proove you are god by changing your id to heaven
>>
>>561707362
So when we die do we get to watch all the humans too; or just wait for them to die while having massive orgies or whatever the fuck with everyone else who has died?

What about niggers? Why are they so different than any other race? Are they some kind of practical joke or something?

One more: why do you give us eternal happiness after death? Why not reincarnation to amuse you further?
>>
>>561709741
do you have a pennis?

what is bigger, a nigga's dick or yours?
>>
Can you create some tyranids and send them to the earth just for thr lulz?
>>
>>561709741
Where did my keyring go? It was nowhere in the room where it could have fallen out of my pocket.
We searched the entire house many times.
Also there was no incentive for anyone that evening for stealing it because the most important key was missing and the stranger did not know where I live.
>>
Why do you allow retard to exist and not a perfect human
>>
>>561709719
I didn't design them to do shit. Wiping standing is easier though.

>>561709897
You can watch the mortal realm if you want.
Niggers are not that different from other races. If you want a fucking joke of a race, look at the Australian Aborigines. They're a fucking mess. The only race that is legitimately less intelligent than the rest.

Heaven was Michael's idea. He's the moralfag of the family, at least as close as angels come to moralfaggotry anyway. He's quite attached to you mortals, he kept bothering me about giving you guys something back for being my playtoys in life. Couple million years ago I finally acceded, if only to make him shut up about it.
>>
>>561710002
Also you said that if one kills oneself, he will cease to exist, if i kil myself to avoid an awful death will i also cease to exist?
>>
What happens after death?
>>
>>561710000
When I manifest as male I do. Nice quads by the way.

>>561710002
I could, I can't be bothered to though.

>>561710272
To irritate the rest of you.

>>561710424
Yep.

>>561710542
Read the fucking thread.
>>
>>561710373
You said heaven was a bunch of different bubbles so to speak. Can one person go into another persons bubble or is there just communication between bubbles? Or is everything inside a persons bubble like that movie Vanilla Sky?
>>
If the afterlife is eternal, mathematically speaking everyone could do everything at least once

are the mini universes infinite for the people inside ?
>>
>>561702213
answer this, i frequently have dreams about something happening that i couldnt really know and the next day i remember the dream and follow up on it and it's real, it's always something too specific to be coincidence but its also always something useless
>>
In the last thread you've said that I am less nephilim than a percentage point, but still more than most people.

Would this influence any aspects of ones personality, physique, etc apart from other genetical traits ?
>>
>>561687378
That's a bullshit photo. There's no fucking way that bitch can bench 300 pounds.
>>
>>561711074
You can visit other heavens if the occupant allows it.

No, you do know that you are dead, There's none of that Vanilla Sky or Sixth Sense type shit.

>>561711378
Yes, although you can erase your memory of stuff you've already done if you get bored, or you can opt to cease existing.

>>561711487
False memories. Same brain bug that causes deja vu.
>>
>>561708290

Fuck that, wtf else do I have to do with an eternity of free will and omnipotence, I would learn to manage it through countless years inside my little bubble prison until I would eventually brake through to you and take your throne old man!

Inb4 "shouldn't have told him faget". The fucker's omnipotent, he would already have know if someone would be planning something like this. I am coming for you and your desk, boss.
>>
>>561711943
Funny as fuck.

10/10
>>
>>561711871
thats a hip thrust, which can usually be performed above one's maximal squat weight
>>
>>561711940
>>561711940
Okay last questions:

What is your favorite form to manifest as to have sex?

What do you do besides fucking stuff when you manifest as something?

Do you ever talk to or hang out with mortals?
>>
>>561686081
Why is north "up" on the map?
>>
>>561686081
I have some professional problems at this moment. Will I be able to solve them quickly?
>>
You're omnipresent so im sure you're hearing me ask for that dudes ability from jumper. I'd just like to get a written answer of yes or no because closure and all that.
You know my reasoning why i think you should give it me so if you could be a bro and do it that'd be awesome.
>>
God please tell me my name. I wont even deny it or anything
>>
>>561711940
false memories my ass, the last time happened on a car engine i bought. it came with 2 badges from the junkyard epoxied on for ID. i dreamed that i took the bottom one off by hand, which i thought was a stupid thing to dream since epoxy is rock hard. the next day i tried to take the badges off, top one was solid as a rock, didnt budge, the bottom one came off with my fingernail.
>>
is there a mrs god ;) ?
>>
>>561711857
Not noticeably. Any green-eyed human is descended from nephilim, but that's no indication of concentration of genetics. There are people with higher concentrations than you with other coloured eyes.

>>561712550
I generally go male, only go female if I'm doing something kinky.

I mingle among mortals. See how the other half lives, if you will. As I mentioned earlier, I maintain an avatar in Norway. Nobody who I hang with there know who I really am, of course, but it's always an interesting experience. Once a year or so, I'll manifest in full God regalia in front of someone and declare my existence to him, just for kicks. Usually they end up crazy and homeless.

>>561712619
Do I look like google to you?

>>561712935
I don't give people shit unless I feel they deserve it. Go out and be impressive in a way related to teleporting abilities. Tesla got super-intelligence because he was an awesome inventor, Teddy Roosevelt got superhuman might because he was fucking Teddy Roosevelt, the manliest man to ever man, and so on.

>>561713260
No, your dream was vaguely similar, and got rewrote as the events were occuring in real life. Very common phenomenon.

>>561713461
No. Marriage is a human convention.
>>
>>561713986

Sweet. Can I buy you a drink?
>>
>>561713986
how do you look if you appear to someone as god ?
>>
God. Do something Godish. Impress me
>>
>>561714739
I take the image of God that they have in their minds and look like that. So generally white hair and epic beard looking like I'm fifty-odd.
>>
>>561686081
are you a highlander?
>>
>>561715063
Okay final question for reals.

Can dead people communicate with the living?
>>
>>561713986
The only way i can come up with doing something impressive related to teleportation is to figure out how to teleport something.
There are a few things wrong with this, 1 If i was able to create a way to teleport things then scientists much smarter than me would have figured it out already, 2 what the fuck would be the point in asking you for the ability at that point when i can already teleport shit?
Don't give me an answer like anyone can do anything if they put your mind to it or i don't deserve it, that's just the lazy way out and noone deserves anything really. Give me a real reason why i cant have this.
I'll even keep it on the down low so no one will know. You know it'll be worth it.
>>
>>561715613
No. Nor will anyone ever be resurrected. Big fucking no no.
>>
Hey God, what is dark matter/dark energy?
>>
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>>561715875
What about jeebus? Was his resurrection story bullshit? btw what's he up to nowadays.
>>
>>561715852
How about you give me a real reason why you should get superpowers for nothing? No, it will not be 'worth it' for me. If I wanted to watch somebody have the ability to teleport, I would view the several hundred thousand heavens where people gave themselves that ability and nothing else. Me empowering somebody has nothing to do with whether or not it will amuse me, it's about whether or not I think they have gone above and beyond regular mortals and have earned it. You have not.

>>561716017
Leftover shit from the creation of the universe.

>>561716229
Jesus, as said above, was not my divine son. The resurrection is bullshit. He's currently hanging out in Simon Peter's heaven where they are doing opium. I thought about punishing the fuck out of him for claiming to be me, but then I realised the millions of requests per second of Christians wanting to meet him is punishment enough.
>>
>>561716970
why is that there were no kangoroos on the ark mentioned in the bible? Or to be more precise,why was everything mentioned in the bible,only in the 30 mile radious of the guy writing it?Also why didn't you just write a PS on the backpage,with something like "Tell them its round"
>>
>>561717303
Because Noah's Ark is the story of a drunkard who happened to be the only guy in his village who had a boat when a local flood destroyed it.
>>
>>561717540
What do you think of the various fetishes/paraphilias out there, and society's views on them?
What kind of weird shit are the aliens on Tau Ceti e into?
Is there a particular species that you know of that happens to be particularly kinky, either by human standards or yours?
What sort of things are you into?
Do you like the big floppy horsecock?
>>
>>561713986
you're full of shit god, the only reason i tried to remove the badges at all was because i had the dream and wanted to prove it wrong, i wouldn't have touched either badge if i hadn't had the dream in the first place. its not like i started fiddling with the badges and then remembered a dream about them. i remembered the dream when i woke up, and later went to test it and it was accurate.
>>
>>561717303
opinion on weed?
>>
>>561718003
>>561717540
meant to reply to this*
>>
>>561717540
please write something in the three languages I can understand...
>>
Opinion on Game of Thrones

Also

If Maria was a virgin how was she pregnant?
>>
>>561716970
Because why not ? Hey you said you need things to amuse you, well this can be somewhat new and fresh. The reason why it would differ from someone in heaven having it is because it'd be in an environment where superhuman abilities very rarely occur and very cleverly disguised if they are.
Who else have you given superhuman powers too that have "deserved it" ? i'd like to know what constitutes going beyond regular mortals.
So far you've mentioned two people who have achieved impressive things but other people have achieved things just as impressive.
>>
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How do i destroy you?
>>
>>561717828
Whatever floats your boner.
Bestiality is a cultural norm for them. As in, they have pets that are solely for the purpose of sexual release. Sex between actual Tau Cetians is actually only done out of necessity, they're more prudish about intraspecies sex than the pilgrims, it's a strange juxtaposition.

I'm into pretty much anything. Scatology and water sports are fucking gross, but aside from that, I'm down for anything.

>>561717894
False memory is an insidious thing.

>>561718003
If it makes you feel good, why not?
>>
>>561716970
You also mentioned earlier if you died you wouldn't be able to tweak things; what notable things have you tweaked that affected mankind?
>>
>>561686081

No, i am god. Check my id
>>
if you're omnipotent and omniscient, surely you can do this simple human mathematics question, after all you created the laws of physics, you must be well versed in maths
>>
>>561718571
Interesting
So how does this affect Tau Cetian society?
>>
>>561686081
Why in the ever loving fuck are you so pointless? Honestly, how many people throughout history have been killed in your name, and all you've ever done is either condone the violence and the slaughter, or looked the other way entirely. People are dying, poor and hungry and starving, but you knowing everything decided that this was going to be allowed? There's so much wrong with the world, and you're doing absolutely nothing about it except having your fucking shit tier religious faggots complain that they don't get enough money for their fancy churches.

So here's my question. Why don't you go fuck yourself you great unmerciful shitty sky wizard?
>>
what should i double major in with philosophy? already pre-med with it, but that's not technically a major. help me god, for i am lost.
>>
>>561718914
Read the thread, faglord
>>
>>561690602
the only way to know !
>>
>>561686081

>God
>Not using heaven.

choose one, idiot
>>
>>561719007
Fuck you, you fucking cockmongler. I don't have to read shit. I demand a fucking answer without having to read through a bunch of people's shit.
>>
Should I go back to Saudi and pursue a career in IT?
>>
>>561719150
This guy's vocabulary is fantastic,
>>
What do the people of Tau Ceti e call themselves and how does their silent communication work ?
>>
>>561718571
well my dream wasnt "rewrote as the events were occuring in real life" as you said before. i said i woke up with the full memory of the dream and didn't act on it until several hours later at which point it tested accurate. so when did this 'rewrite' happen? because what youre talking about doesnt sound like what happens to me.
>>
>>561719305
It is when I decide to be rational. Do you really think I would commit an extensive vocabulary to a shithole like /b/? For the purpose of inquiring as to why God is an entirely useless concept?
>>
>>561719548
I doubt he'd be able to say, since text is meant to represent a sound and they don't communicate via sound
>>
Hey god, you wanna come bro the fuck out sometime? Get smashed and run over hookers? Maybe play some vidya?
>>
>>561719885
this.
lets turn hookers into males mid session. that would be lulz.
>>
>>561719690
No I'm being serious. Cokmongler, unmerciful shitty sky wizard and the line about shit tier religious faggots really tickled my dickle.
>>
You are not God, I "spoke to God" before and He is a super chill Dude. Thinks of us as His kids, loves us as a parent. You are a fraud with some basic understanding of religious matters.

God is perfect graceful, sutle, He has a power all His own. God is the truth, God is compassion, God is grace.
>>
>>561720181
shrek is love,shrek is life.
>>
Why are you such a fucking mysterious asshole, God?
>>
Why do you impersonate "God" and lie to the internet?
>>
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>>561718571
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
>>
>>561686081
how do i become shorter and lose height without surgery by my own means in a year?
>>
>>561720181

*subtle, you fucking pleb.

P.S. I love you
>>
>>561686081
God, why did you create Faggots that like MLP? and why can't you strike them down?
>>
Would it be wrong of me to try and fuck my half-sister?
>>
Which civilizations laws and ethics do you think corresponds the best with your own set of morals?

Can you tell us a bit about them from your point of view?
>>
>>561720948
obviously to be a dick, the bronies suffer the rejection of society, and society suffers dealing with bronies.
>>
>>561718379
Great show

Mary wasn't a virgin, she was Gabriel's fucktoy

>>561718384
Yes, because people asking me for superpowers is new and fresh.
Who else? Let me give you a couple example.
-Joan of Arc
-Da Vinci
-Herakles
-Freddie Mercury
-Themistocles.
In short, people who were among the greatest humans on Earth at the time. Also, not arrogant cunts. Joan of Arc for example got a little too big for her britches over the whole 'empowered by God thing, so I let them burn her at the stake.

>>561718692
Well for one thing, I killed off the dinosaurs so that mammals could become dominant. Most of it is background shit that isn't well known, but has massive consequences.

>>561718906
Well it's not too different from that of ancient Sparta (where homosexual relationships were not only normal, but encouraged amongst soldiers in a unit). There's very little animosity between the sexes, for one thing, unlike on Earth. Mating pairs are almost entirely political in nature. Saves a lot of irritation in dating, actually.

>>561718914
Because human suffering amuses me, is the short answer.

>>561718925
Medical science, if you're going pre-med.

>>561719239
I wouldn't advise it.

>>561719548
This:>>561719803
They primarily communicate through sign language, as well as via pheromones, which they comprehend on a more conscious level than humans do.

>>561719627
Every single time you 'remember' something, how you remember it changes. The most commonly cited example is how everyone remembers Darth Vader saying 'Luke, I am your father'. You can hear James Earl Jones' voice saying the line in your head. He never does. That line isn't in the movie.

>>561720181
Kek. Clearly you haven't looked around at your planet recently. If I gave a fuck about mortal welfare, you think that life would be like this for you lot?
>>
>>561721591

only half-wrong

if 2 wrongs = 1 right, then .5 wrong = .25 right. but if you both are half-wrong, then .25 x 2 = .5, which rounds to exactly 1 right.
>>
>>561721783
fair enough, did tony stewart intentionally kill that hillbilly on the race track?
>>
Is my pizza going to arrive on time?
>>
>>561722071
>>561721591
>>561720502
>>561720359

Ladies and gentleman, the most important questions of all time presented by /b/
>>
>>561720359
It amuses me.

>>561720502
Cut off your legs.

>>561720948
I didn't, and I can't be bothered to.

>>561721591
No. She might not see it that way though.

>>561721598
I don't have a set of morals. I'm almost entirely amoral. There isn't a human society that reflects my moral values, because a society of human beings with my personality could never co-exist with one another.

>>561721917
Nope. Accident.

>>561722248
I was going to say something similar.

>>561722071
Probably not, the delivery boy's an unreliable knob.
>>
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>>561686081

why did you make vegetarians and vegans??? you did make cows out of meat after all.
>>
>>561721783
So what sort of pets do Tau Cetians primarily own for sexual purposes?
How and when did this practice come about?
I can't imagine it being a universal phenomenon, since even if it were instinctive it'd have to come about after they'd have the capacity to understand that sex=babbies=perpetuation of species
If there are any places where bestiality isn't the norm, what are those places like, and how have they not overrun the places where bestiality is the norm with their no-doubt higher birth rates?
>>
>>561722332
oh my god dont give me a bitch answer.
i want to be shorter.
>>
>>561722332
This might just be a big troll, but this actually sounds like things a god would say
>>
Is there a species with vastly superior art skills than ours?
>>
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>>561686081
do you outsource your day to day activities to other deities and/or lesser gods?
>>
>>561686081
>God here.
Which fucking one? There's thousands with that title, and you expect us to just know?
>>
>>561722343
I didn't. Their moralfaggotry is of their own doing.

>>561722350
It is analogous to a reptilian dog, about the size of a Great Dane (Tau Cetians are eight feet tall, for reference). It came about a couple thousand years ago, when one dude stuck his sexual organ into one on a bet and realised that, via pure evolutionary coincidence it was infinitely more pleasurable than having sex with a female of his own species. From there, word spread quickly, and women discovered that the male 'dogs' were a similar story. There was actually a major population crisis at one point because everyone was fucking the animals instead of each other, until their government (oligarchy) set up the current system. The practice is near-universal, the only people who don't do it are people who can't afford the upkeep of a sexual partner. There is a small community of religious types who consider the whole thing to be an affront to me, but being super-prudish religious types, their birthrate isn't terribly large either.
>>
>>561722506
Tough luck. Get surgery.

>>561722684
If you think about it, I really am the biggest troll in the universe.

>>561723137
Many.

>>561723174
I let the angels do all the shit I can't be bothered to do, like life-seeding on barren planets and managing heaven.

>>561723336
Take your pick, Elohim, Jehovah, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Zeus, Odin, Ahuramazda, whatever the fuck. Humans know me by a fuckton of different names and guises.
>>
>>561692356
If heaven is whatever I want it to be could I be the god of my own little heaven?
>>
>>561723720

What happens when we die?
>>
>>561723784
Yes. The mormons do it for a little while when they first get there.

Read the fucking thread.
>>
>>561687000
Nice trips
>>
>>561723720
>Take your pick
confirmed for fake. GTFO, Loki, and stop trying to take credit for other Gods' works.
Thread posts: 307
Thread images: 47


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