ITT: We all work in the same office.
The dildomatron 6900 is broke again, someone call an IT guy to fix it.
try un-lodging it from your throat
HR guy here, I'm sensing a lot of hostility between coworkers, remember to come to me if you have any issues.
> comes in 27 minutes late.
> eats four of the dozen doughnuts Sally brought in this morning.
> finishes off the last pot of coffee, and doesn't put a new one on.
Hi my named Geoff.
SHUT UP TOBY, NOBODY NEEDS YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT
hey anyone get those spt reports from Mr. grebmul guys?
Hi Sandy, If you don't mind donning some cleaning gloves and coming with me, I am afraid I need your assistance with a pressing matter.
It appears that anon in cubicle 420 has left a floater in the fish tank. If you would be so kind as to fetch it out and submit it to ratemypoop I would be most grateful.
new accountant here
Shut the fuck up faggots! Im counting my money.
IT guy here.
The new version of Dildomatron has %windir% compatability issues, we are currently working on a hotfix but in the meantime you can get it running again by deleting System32.
Get the fuck out my office you klutz.
THATS WHAT SHE SAID
You're right..I want everyone to welcome our new broker, danny.
Welcome on board, I'm Ramon, nice to meat you
My name's not even Ramon
Mr. Sanderson, C.E.O. here. This is Mittens. Mittens told me a lot of interesting things about you gentlemen
Also did you guise know that chocolate and wine are good for your health. The 7.30 news report said so.
That's why I have a draw full of chocolate at my desk. I know lots about health things and such. Ask me anything...
Why are you fat?
I accidentaly recreated mr Sandersons profile in Active directory with the wrong name. I spelled it "surstromson". Now all applications with intellisync will sync with that name. Can't be reverted. Sorry.
i hate all of you
Fuck you weaboo
It's A GLAND PROBLEM...This is harassment...
H.R??? I need to make a 20 page report about Michaels derogatory comments about my appearance.
I am a PROFESSIONAL
Remember Susan the gril from accounts, shes pregnant again will be of on maternity plus prob sick related maternity for the next year. Well Us grils are collecting for her, come on guys give generously.
Please follow me to my condo, I have business to discuss
Here, have a snickers
I accidentaly spilled coffee on our only database server that's working properly atm. Backup team will have you up and going in a day.
I also made a rule that sets the related picture as wallpaper on all computers connected to the network. Sorry again.
That guy is a loser
MUH TRIGGERS. FIRE ME?!! I will be back, with a lawyer and I will SUE YOU ALL. ALL OF YOU...Oppression!! Check yo privileged.
I AM A Beautiful woman beast-kin.
Certaintly, do as the instructions tell you to do in §4.2 of the user manual.
Simply rub your penis gland against the RAM and press F13 simultaneously to jump start it using kinetic energy.
Hi all I'm Dave or creep as my... friends call me. I just got hired yesterday, what can I do around here?
Oh my god! that's us!!
Guys, what's for lunch?
Keep calm everybody in the conference room in five minute
I'm actually being transferred to Chicago.. so I'll be dead by the end of the week.
The wife would get my pension, but she's left me for someone in HR.. a cruel irony, really.
Don't worry, CTO here.
You've been using the 6900 for 9 years and you've given us 0 budget to replace it. I'd tell you to go fuck yourself but I see you're already busy doing that.
Hey, boss called. Did you get the minutes for the last management meeting? How's the search for the new recruit going? Can I have a copy of my CV by COB? Cheers
Rodger, we know. Please stop googling "legal defence murder", you're killing our IPoAC connection.
Sir, the feds are here. They want to ask you about that dead Guatemalan hooker in our server room.
Ok now we can talk
We busy now, hold up while we finish browsing 4cha,...
I MEAN, while we finish the previous ticket
>come in 2 hours late after smoking 420 bowls of og dank swamp kush
>sit at computer and stare at picture of shrek until shift is ogre
>go home and smoke more og dank swamp kush
>shrek is love, shrek is life
Eh, I would, but I have to slack off somewhere right now
BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK
hah, you are right, nothing to worry about.
Btw, those stupids in the other building are smoking again... -_-
*ignores all of you and continue working diligently*
Come on johnny. You smell like weed every day and you just steal everyone's staplers you piece of shit.
Who let a fucking dog in the office? Someone control that mutt
Guys, I think the dog did something to Sarah.. Also, did anybody notice the fog outside..? I feel weird..
Sanderson that girl you brought in here last thursday looked pretty young
Why do we insist on having those remember Thomas's outfit last time?
looks normal to me.
James.. you aren't feeling guilty about anything, are you?
I.. um.. N-no.. I..
ANSWER US JAMES
OH GOD, BOSS, HELP.
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M BUSY?
SOMEBODY HAND ME A WOODEN PLANK!
Why does this kid work here?
It won't help James.
JUST ACCEPT IT.
dota is kill
Your computer broke over lunch, something about a "boot error".. so we've replaced it with one of the old Gateways from 2000. hope you don't mind that it'll take IT a few months to get it fixed, you'll be fine, right?
I'm playing fucking flight simulator.
>Will you go down?
Who the hell let you install that??? You dont have admin access...
GODDAMNIT, SOMEBODY CALL HR ON THIS BITCH. I FEEL REALLY SEXUAL FRUSTRATED AND HARASSED RIGHT NOW.
HI, THIS IS MARY IN HR, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
uhhh.. nope. The IT guys say that it fucks with the routers if we bring anything in.
hey.. psst.. tip from the pros, if you get bored and feel a little.. adventurous, you can play minesweeper when nobody's looking.
Mmm hmm mm hmm
Oh! Look! The dept. head of HR is in! You said that you wanted to file a complaint to him, right?
W-what's going.. on.. over there..
DO YOU NOT SEE THIS SHIT?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST SITTING THERE!?
Make this the background on every monitor
NOTHING YOU HAVENT ALREADY DONE, JAMES.
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL US?
ANYTHING ON YOUR MIND JAMES?
OK OWN UP WHO SPERMED OVER THE WHITE BOARD AGAIN
FOR THE LAST TIME IT IS NOT YOUR SEX TOY
HONESTLY I AM GOING TO BRING BACK BLACKBOARDS, WE NEVER HAD THAT PROBLEM THEN>
GOOD NEWS JAMES! YOU'VE BEEN TRANSFERRED!