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ITT: Your favourite NPC moments (any game) >be me >be

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 221
Thread images: 71

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ITT: Your favourite NPC moments (any game)

>be me
>be at Olav's Tap and Tack in Bruma
>night time, quite busy
>Ongar decides it would be a good idea to pick-pocket Olfand the blacksmith
>gets caught
>Olfand proceeds to punch Ongar to death with his giant meat clobbers
>guard runs in, stares blankly for a few seconds and calmly walks back out
>everyone continues to chat, eat & drink with a dead body just lying there on the floor
>mfw this all happened while I'm just sitting there on a chair
bumping cos I loved Oblivion
I've never played oblivion before and skipped right ahead to Skyrim. Oblivion seems fun tho, should I get it for PS3? My pc is bricked. Or should I wait till I get a new pc and play oblivion with mods?
>be me
>be in riverwood delivering letter to sven
>big mutha fuckin dragon comes out of nowhere and takes a dog
>kid follows dragon to get dog back decide to watch
>catches up with kid on a mountain
>find him petting dog next to a dead dragon
>MFW he jumped of the mountain
Wait until you get a new PC.

Modded Oblivion is a fantastic experience, I could never play vanilla oblivion again. The big ones are oscuro's oblivion overhaul (OOO) and marts monster mod (MMM). Add on some smaller gameplay mods and eye candy mods, and you've got a completely overhauled game.

Also, in general to this thread, oblivions NPC AI had quite a bit more freedom than they do in skyrim. In skyrim they strictly follow a routine, same thing over and over. They had a routine in oblivion as well, but had more freedom for decision making while doing it. They restricted it on skyrim because it sometimes made "silly" things happen like in the OP post, but for me that was all part of the fun after the first play through.
>be me
>about to get my head chopped when a flying lizard comes out of no where and starts fucking shit
>flying lizard shouts some foreign shit probably nigger language
>rocks start falling from sky
>MFW realise it's a dragon
>illegal dragons are invading
>jesus comes down from sky and gives me the power of nigger language
>defeat the dragon and takes it soul
>start praising the sun when a guard comes up to me and asks for 1000 gold for killing some dude
>bitch slap that whore for interrupting the praising of the sun
>gets reckd by some dude in gold armor for disrupting the peace
>respawn as the sun and burn all the nigger jews for not praising
>suddenly crash
>restart PC and the fucking dragon was back but this time he had friends
>50 dragons came to beat me up
>turns of PC bricks hard drive
>mfw had restart everything again
>be me
>buys a horse for 1000 gold
>calls horse Sven in honour of the letter
>riding horse to Markarth
>comes across a giant nigger
>massive club and size 69 feet
>decides to hit me with club
>fly 100000 feet in the air and turn into sun
>burns all the giant niggers for being freaks

I'm running out /b/ don't let the thread die

Good sir, I do believe that isn't quite how things actually went down.
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it is in my world
>be me
>be a redguard with sick afro and curved swords. CURVED swords.
>every fucking hold I go in, guards follow me around
>every general store I go to, I get followed around
>tfw so black everyone thinks I'm a nigger. But fuck these ignorant pricks, I'm a sandnigger not a nigger
>one day decide to join stormcloaks
>ulfric calls me straight up nigger and declines request to join stormcloaks
>tired of this shit
>tfw in heaven fucking virgins and sheep now

fuck this just trying to keep thread alive
>Pick up jar
>Carry jar to counter
>Put jar over shop keepers head
>Steal everything in sight while he can't see
>Take the jar off his head
>No mention of any empty shop.
>Still tries to sell me items.
Anyone remember City Swimmer the Argonian from Oblivion?

Everytime I saw that Argonian it was being chased by the Imperial Guards for breaking some law, never managed to live past a week in-game time, poor City Swimmer...
>be me playing oblivion yesterday
>new save, first time playing in like three years
>playing a dunmer mage/spellsword kinda char, so doing all the shitty mages guild recommendation quests
>cheydinhal mages guild
>come across a character called "trayvond the redguard"
>proceed to laugh my ass off
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So Morrowind has finally been replaced by Oblivion?

Godspeed, sweet prince.
Oh forgot to say

no image
Oh god my sides
Poor City Swimmer
Let him RIP
>join thieves guild
>complete several quests
>get to an argonian thief's guild quest giver
>complete objective
>return to quest giver
>her house is locked at night so I just lockpick the door
>tfw she's pissed and tell the fucking guards
welcome to 4chan, youngling!
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Jesus, it's a dead bipedal lizard, not a fucking beyblade
>Be me
>Couple Dark Brotherhood missions after I've killed baenlin
>Speak to Gromm
>Turn invisible
>Attempt to pickpocket Gromm
>Get caught
>Glitch myself into a unreachable corner of the room
>All I can hear are guards saying "THIEF! YOU WANT GET A WAY WITH THIS" and "PAY THE FINE" on a loop until I start to move out of it
>Get stuck in the interaction menu with a guard through a door
>Resist arrest
>5 Guards walk in
>Turn invisible
>"Must have been nothing"
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Morrowind didn't have the radiant AI of oblivion, so they didnt do anything unusual that could happen in oblivion due to an NPC deciding to doing something silly and getting in trouble.
>punch a king in the face
>he says: "Stop that at once, anon!"
>take a bow and put an arrow in his forehead
>he stands up, arrow sticking from his forehead like he's a unicorn
>"That's enough, anon! Next time we will punish you for that!"
>this king is alright
>leave him alone
Be playing New Vegas
Hunting deathclaws
Putting Anti-material rounds into them, heads exploding like melons.

Cazadores sweep in
Dis gon be good.png

War to end all wars as the two beasts begin fighting, random miners go in armed with tire irons, single shotguns and sledge hammers....

I watch as shit kicks off, at the end
One miner with a sledge survived.
All hail nameless miner
>relaxing in Whiterun
>long adventure, just slain Alduin, saved the world
>listening to the cash as fuck tunes of the tavern bard
>someone taps on my shoulder
>do you go to the Cloud District very often?
>the whole tavern falls silent
>i drop my mug of mead in terror
>what am I saying, of course you don't
>the entire city begins to panic
>i'm crying and can't run for my life
>over encumbered
>i look at him, and he looks at me
>he pulls a dagger out and stabs me in the stomach
>i die

But it's just so sad, on every playthrough of Oblivion I'd be wandering along in Imperial City Marketplace and all you can hear is "WHY WON'T YOU DIEEEE", I'd turn the corner to find City Swimmer stuffed in between a few crates, Or find him dead on the roads between towns. He never got a break.
>in Bruma
>be a Dunmer
>thrive off of moral ambiguity
>manage to steal a mage hood
>put fire damage enchantment on it
>sneak into the Bruma barracks
>put hood onto guard while they sleep
>wake them up, ask them about any new rumors
>they tell me to fuck off and that they don't like me
>they go back to sleep and put the hood on when they do
>loot their corpse
>drag corpse behind counter in the barracks
>repeat 25+ times
>guards have no clue, stop by the bodies wondering what happened
>whenever the living guards come and tell meto fuck myself or whatever, i tell them "oh, i hope you catch whoever's killing all these guards", the corpse still in my hands
>i put the hood on the mean guards first and leave the nice ones
>pile of "hidden" corpses nearly lags my computer out when i look at it
>mfw i got tons of gold from selling their shit
>mfw there are only about 5 guards left in Bruma

i could get pic but i doubt anyone cares enough
Was he one of the Trainers? Can't remember which skill it was if he's one of them (maybe I'm think of that Alteration guy...)
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Look at this poor Argonian, getting Trayvon Martin'd by city guards....

Fuck imperials man!
>Be me
>travel to bravil
>walking about
>see wood elf in leather cap
>walks up some stairs
>stops at a door
>go up to see what door
>door reads "Skooma Den"
>jaw drops
>insta lock pick that shit
>go inside
>find skooma addicts
>get fed up with their BS
>proceed to duplicate as much skooma i can into their loft till the game lags so bad hardly anyone can walk
>justice served
Sneak trainer
>redgaurd, but not a nigger
>joins stormcloaks, but isnt a nigger
>fucks sheep. Still not a nigger.
Ummm, you sure you arent a nigger?
right, thx fellow anon!
">" wut
>mfw no face
Off topic, but any advice on Morrowind mods?

City swimmer lives in bravil, not the imperial city. Also, its a she.

She has low responsibility though, so would steal food & pick pocket which gets her in trouble with the bravil guards.
>Be me not a big enough fan to buy a PC to mod
>What yall would call a poorfag, but more so gun fag who spends his money on gun
>Anywhore playing skyrim
>Uses the enchantment glitch to make gloves that instakill everything
>Goes through thieves guild to get certain armor
>Then be me after 20 hours of play getting specific gear that is black including daedric gauntlets, Nightingale armor, shit like that
>Be batman
>Go around punching dragons and people alike
>Bitches want me, and people fear me
>Play on legendary because Im batman
>Walk up to giant that killed me at beginning of game
>Power punch giant sending that fucker to space
>Revenge is sweet my friends
>After punching the giant I dubbed Bane realize I just spent 20+hours of my life preparing revenge for a fucking giant
>Haven't played skyrim since
This one actually angered me.

>just got discovered during the final thieves guild mission
>500 guards running after me
>duck into a random shop
>wait for the guards to run in, try to kill them one by one
>three hours later, I'm still killing guards
>fuck this bull shit
>finally manage to get the guards to fuck off
>return to the mask guy
>won't let me try again
>no way back into the castle
>god damn it
get it for ps3 and play through the vanilla game first still so many aweome moments in vanilla then get new pc and oblivion with mods
>be me
>lizard man
>bawlin down whiterun
>some guy flys up into the sky
>flys back down
>nigga says
>"do you get to the cloud district very often, oh what am I saying of course you don't"
>flys back up
>you win this round nigga
pc, definitely
>Fresh off the boat nigger elf
>Steal all silverware in front of guards idgaf
>Walk outside down the road
>The fuck is it raining bodies?
>Loot MH17 victim
>Wtf does this potion do
>Drink said potion and proceed to launch into space
pics or it didnt happen
I'm not going to greentext this because my phone is gay, sorry.

Be me
Marry sexy Camilla valerius in first town I come across.
Dark elf swag.
Make some money
Move to whiterun
Live happily for several quests
Come home to get it in/for a home cooked meal
See Faendal leaving my house just as I arrive.
Follow him.
Walks all the way back to riverwood.
Murder him outside the saw mill he works at.
That's my wife you cunt.
Run back to whiterun.
Murder cheating wife in safety of own home.
Don't remarry.
Heart is broken.
Thanks skyrim.
When is Skyrim 2 due out?
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Bumping the thread
> 100% Chameleon
> Smash guard repeatedly in face with warhammer
> "Must have been the wind"
pics or he do not exist! i demand someone find him and screencap this nugga!
You people talking about Skyrim NPCs are faggots. Not even interesting.

Maybe Mordin's final scene in ME3. Better than anything in a Bethesda sandbox game. Characters are not what you play those games for, people.
100% Chameleon was the best.
>running through desert
>me and my close friend Boone
>we've seen some shit
>come hauling ass around a mountain
>two Deathclaws
>check map
>instant crouch, not worried
>sneak is the first skill I level to max
>go past two Deathclaws
>four more off to the right
>three more ahead and to the right
>one in middle
>two scattered off to the left and ahead
>Jesus help me
>Boone and I creeping along
>halfway through this Deathclaw Deathcamp
>so quiet I can hear those Deathclaws breathing
>suddenly hear "Got him in my sights" followed by a loud gunshot right behind me
>turn around
>Boone standing there with his rifle
>looked into his shades
>nothing there but a man not afraid of death
>The pressure of my asshole puckering on itself detonates like a Fat Man as 12 Deathclaws swarm us
>nuclear explosion
>asshole gains permanent +15 rads/sec perk
>no survivors but myself and Boone
>a man wishing to die for his sins but only ever able to go unconscious

>Scripted events/storyline

I've found her dead in the Imperial City at least 4 times, Jesus she gets around quick.
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You're systematically killing it with this pure dog shit

Yeah, that's what a fucking CHARACTER is. It's the third part of NPC and it's a creation of writers. What you people are talking about are stupid, simplistic interactions of nonsensical sprites. Talk about lame. Character is an art form, not you getting your jollies from stupid bullshit.
*tips trench coat*
och that one is a classic, its the so called "noob trap" is in oblivion asell ( i fell for it there.....literally ) dont know if there is one in skyrim though

annyone know ?
I care enough
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You don't need to wear a trench coat do understand how completely wooden and flat characters in Bethesda games are. Do you think that you do? That's sad.
Fake and gay
>implying npcs say PC names
y u mad tho XD
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>Red Faction Guerilla
>high value targets in Eos
>Guerilla reinforcements have arrived
>6 guerillas arrived to help me in a truck
>1 has a rocket launcher
>oh shit
>guy goes on god mode destruction
>takes out a smokestack/tower which crashes into another and then another which then collapses onto a barracks building, the canisters inside then explode causing the nearby minor fuel tanks to explode destroying the vehicle hanger and the four APC's inside aswell as serious damage to a sensor tower and nearby abandonded EDF vehicles.
>I've stopped firing just transfixed at what the hell just happened.
>-55 control, 81 million damage, 42 killing spree.
>Guy changes his rockets for a shotgun, kills the 3 other surviving red faction
>says "Goddamn EDF, still not killed one of 'em"
>lolwut? (i'm picking up around 5000 salvage at this point)
>he gets into the truck, drives onto road then off a cliff
>sensor tower collapses under its weight 15 seconds later collapsing onto the damaged vehicles which then exploded.
It's righteous anger.
y tho xD
omg thank you based anon.....you have made my day, sides in absolute orbit now
I think there was one in Skyrim as well, somewhere in the wilderness in the mountains if you fuck with something after it says not to it does your ass in. I loved Sheogorath in the Shivering Isles expansion DLC, don't fuck with him.
LOL "righteous" bby?
did ya ever see maiq?
if ya don, then u dunno even how charater is spelled kid hahahaha xD

Her routine may take her there on certain days, im not sure. It's been in Bravil when I've seen her getting into fights with guards.

I know there's another lizard thief in the imperial city who gets in trouble aswell, can't remember his/her name though.
yea good times i remember the one in oblivion falling outside a castle/city or so just as you exit

shit now i wanna play oblivion or skyrim again....think im gonna go buy the DLCs for skyrim and play em tonight :D

i don't know what happened, there used to be a huge pile of corpses. maybe they came back to life? or my save got fucked up? i'm not entirely sure. sorry friends, the corpse pile is disappointingly small.
I really want my beret back please...
Because we live in a capitalist society largely shaped by the morons that predominate?
As opposed to living in a communist society largely shaped by the morons that predominate?
so you go and rage on /b/ :)
Fucking child
Underage b&
lol y u mad tho xD
On of my favorite mods is Qwert's Airship mod. It's a pain in the ass to build it, but once you do it's an awesome home/vehicle. Only problem is it's very, VERY buggy. Game crashes alot while you're flying and loads of times your ship will go missing. If it was a bit more stable then it would be without a doubt 10/10.
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Stop projecting. This thread is for amusing, memorable moments people have experienced involving NPC's, be it through storylines or random, non-scripted events.

And just to touch on the matter, I'll take AI with it's own decision making ability over the scripted, same-thing-every-playthrough AI in more games.

It's still fairly simple, but oblivion was a good start to it & next gen games will be able to push AI abilities much further.
And by next gen you mean PC
I'm pretty sure I saw some non-argonians also pickpocketing (and failing..).

I love that, whoever the npc doing it is, they seem to crouch and 'sneak' right in plain view of at least a half-a-dozen other people, sometimes low to the ground sitting in chairs, staring right at them like watching some fucking autistic thief unaware of how bad he/she is.
>Playing stormcloak alt
>Doing Quest where you kill bride at her wedding
>Decide to do something "original"
>Plant a frenzy rune at the door of the balcony expecting husband to walk through first
>Wife hits rune first
>Starts punching husband
>Husband punches back
>Wife kills Husband and runs down to start killing guests
>Guests and guards start killing eachother
>Stormcloaks show up and kill everyone left standing.
>Stormcloaks walk off pleased with themselves.
>No surviving witnesses.
Get the fucking pic.
Does anyone know how I can buy the mini DLC's for Oblivion on steam because I have Knights of the 9 and Shivering isles, but I want the houses and Mehrunes razor and stuff
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I don't know who here has played the first deadrising, but the survivors were the stupidest fucking things ever. They would run away from you and charge at groups of zombies with no weapons. Then they would get swarmed and you needed too save them.

>be me
>playing deadrising
>survivor gets attacked by zombies
>he is in an elevator full of zombies
>he yells out "I'M OVER HERE!"
>im right beside the fucker getting the zombies
>burst out laughing
>laughed or a few minutes

though I think I laughed a lot because I was high
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Mostly yes, though the ps4/xbone are a good step up with much more memory access compared to the older gen.
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>Playing the original prototype
>Have finished the game am just playing fuck-about
>Steal tank
>Run through hundreds of civilians for no apparent reasonz
>Alex Mercer:"I wonder if this is the right thing to do ..."
damage control for your bullshit
Everything in the scripts of those NPCs was written by someone, to include the dumb "AIs" which are nothing at all like true AIs. That's why you need a writer to craft actual interactions that make sense. Otherwise you just have wooden, unnuanced dialogue and interactions.
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Fucking Nazeem, man.
>playing Metal Gear: Peace Walker for the first time
>attempting to sneak using box
>Guard sees me
>Guard kicks the box
>Panic, press wrong button, tackle the guard
>Guard gets up, then walks away
Here is one that makes me smile
>Be me playing New Vegas
>Get real friendly with the Brotherhood of Steel for evil intentions
>Join the Legion
>Get veronica to join me as my partner
>Walk down to the belly of the base to use the self destruct button
>"Do they really have a fucking self destruct button?" I thought to myself
>Get there seeing the self destruct button and laugh to myself
>I use the self destruct button to kill all her family and friends
>She still works with me as a partner
>That's what she gets for being a lesbian
>I imagine she may cry at night wondering why she stays as my faithful packmule even though I destroyed everything she holds dear.
>wooden, unnuanced dialogue and interactions

sounds like a conversation with you, shit for brains
Just get the shivering Isles DLC for Oblivion, and punch Sheogorath in the face, he then will teleport you high in the sky and it causes you to fall to your death. Noob Trap:Causes some logical consequences for somebody stupid enough to try something they shouldn't. ex. punching a daedric god in the face who is on par in strength with the final boss in the game, and even in his realm so his powers are at full strength.
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Yep theres another thief who lives in the hut by the dock.

I followed her one night as she sneaked around the city and into someones house.
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explain what ?

its a scripted thing where a boddy dropps from thye sky with only clothes on him and a potion and a note that says dont drink this potion....if you dring it it shoots you up in the air and then you die from falldamage when hitting the ground and this "scene/event" is ( as far as i know) i bot Morowind, Oblivion and Skyrim, and what ive learned from my friend who is a hardcore Elderscrolls player it is called "The noob trap" or something like that, annything alse you wanna know ?:)

bumping with pic of the obvious gourme......he clearly is not an assasin!
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>playing oblivion on gfs comp as she sleeps
>didn't even know she was into oblivion
>click on her save
>walking around
>monster knocks me down
>starts raping the character
wtf my gf is a freak
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shit i type like im fucking high or something.....ha gues i am.....hehe

pic of sneak skil lvl 9000....the thieves guild got some really skilled ppl i tell you that!
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the monster probably reminds her of you so i'd say she's sweet
being this new
fuck that nig nog nazeem
>PC Bricked.
Um, what.
Why get a whole new PC.
Fuckin fix it felix.
What are the symptoms
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Being this new
you're so damn lucky
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Hey man, don't knock til you try it. If nothin else you got perfect bedroom scenarios.
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>Doing that daedric quest where you free the ogres on the plantation
>decide to sneak past the ogre guards and let the ogres slaughter them
>they both ignore eachother and run out of the cave
>look outside, 3 ogre guards running away, go ahead and complete quest
>3 real months later
>Talking to Gray Fox in Chorrol about my newest assignment
>finish convo
>3 ogre guards storm into the house, knock Gray Fox unconscious and make a try on my life
>Guard runs in, looks at the most wanted man in tamriel an says, "SOMEONE'S BEEN MURDERED" then walks back out.
>Gray Fox wakes up and starts eating his food
Destroy the universe later...
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>play oblivion for the first time
>notice the screenshots that most vanilla females look like ass
>download oblivion mod pack thats supposed to make every female hotter
>unzip, checkmark what the readme tells me to
>going about my business
>some orange orb flys past
>look towards where the orb was coming from
>minotaur running towards me
>1 hit knocks me down
>i die
>starts rape
at first i think this actually happens in the game, till i realize it was part of the mod pack
>Be me
>Just escaped Helgen and I'm Christopher Walken to Whiterun
>Meet Aela the huntress
>She's a bit of a bitch, but I like them feisty
>Find her in the Companions longhouse

>Swore to myself in my past life I'd take a different wife this time I'm reincarnated

>Always pick the sideboob

I will continue to pick her until I can marry either Vex or Selena (?) the vampire chick.
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>Be khajiit
>Stylin in Whiterun
>Nigga be boastin
>Do you get to the Cloud District very often?
>Nigga, I'm steppin in there errday
>Blank stare
>Cat be plannin
>Crouch down
>Niggas can't detect me now
>Pickpocket Nazeem's dagger
>Skip on up to the Jarl's personal enchanter
>Enchant dagger with soul trap
>Make some damage health potions
>Put some of that shit on the dagger
>Go back to Nazeem
>Reverse pickpocket dagger back
>Give him black soul gem, too
>Wait until 2:00 AM
>Take my happy ass over to the Drunken Huntsman
>Pickpocket the elf vendor's shit
>Poison his sword
>Put it back in his pocket
>Give him a black soul gem
>Cast calm on errbody in the house
>Sneak up to Nazeem's room
>Bastard is sleeping next to his wife
>Cast fury on him
>Nigga starts stabbing the shit outta his wife
>Steals her soul
>Elf vendor has walked up to the room by now
>Nazeem is still feeling stabby
>Goes for elf vendor
>Elf vendor guts him
>Steals his soul
>Grab soul gem from Nazeem's corpse
>Steal back the elf's gem
>Go to Dragon's Reach
>Enchant a chef's hat and tunic with fortify destruction
>Now I spam fireballs in chef's clothes
>Fuck Nazeem
>Broke ass tavern nigga aint shit
>Hanging around the border minding my own business
>Hear a step behind me from out of nowhere
>Wake up
>In a carriage with 3 other Nords
>One of them realizes I'm waking up
>Keeps calm knowing the situation ahead
>Petty milkdrinker thief starts crying and whining like a little bitch
>Get to town, get ready for the chopping block
>About to get the axe when a Edge/10 dragon swoops in
>Everybody panics like pussies
>Follow Hadvar to freedom
>Stormcloaks are chilling in the fort just talking
>Scream out like an Arabian next to an oil truck
>Start bludgeoning them to death
>They're sitting there not knowing what to do
>mfw they dont move just look me in the eye as they accept their fate
>mfw Nords will forever be master race
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This happened to me awhile ago, I was doing the main story line and I guess this guy was a daedra worshiper.

Watch with CC.

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>thieves guild
>stealing elder scroll from blind monks because they can't read it
>one hears me
>I stand very still
>"my eyes mut be playing tricks on me"
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>Finish Mages Guild
>Now grand dragon or whatever they call me

>Join thieve's guild
>I want you to steal the grand dragon's staff
>Walk home, pick it up, walk back


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Fuck yes!
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>Trying to join the mage guild in Winterhold
>Bitch won't let me through
>Don't know any spells, I'm a Nord
>"You raggedy motherfucker, I'm the god damn dragonborn!"

Speech check works!

>"Perhaps you could demonstrate your shout instead?"
>Charge up

Blast her right off the side of the mountain

>Mfw she literally asked me for it and I receive a fine for assault
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>New Vegas
>being noob, released Primm
>going to get sheriff from NCR prison
>uneventful journey, except from glasses wearing guy who pussied out after first shot, detached his head with machete
>go into building like marker said
>dinner time
>dash out with six-seven people on my back
>turn around during my escape, to see, how far they are
>see sparky object in air
>run around corner of fence
>hear two or three explosions and silence
>looking at enemies, basically all been torn to pieces by their own dynamite
>mfw shooting last bandit behind the fence
ayy lmao
and it's gonna be more or less the same shit whenever you have the sick pleasure of doing the same shit and expecting a different outcome.
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Women cant be asking for it you sexist pig.
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the AI in new vegas is so fucking retarded, though it can be pretty funny sometimes.
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>project reality
>allah commanded me to fight english pig that infest our homeland
>english pig ovbiously have better everything, but we have our faith
>spend freetime talking about delicious kebab and how glorious allah is
>english pig track down every single weaponshidehout exept the last one
>once they've locatet it a little bird (chopper) kills all warriors in the area
>it's flying really low, really fast, skillfully taking out our whole team several times
>and there i stand holding my killtube up into the sky, standing out in the open
>my cellleader urges me to take cover but i'm not willing to survive but to sacrifice
>shoot two warheads at the heli, both miss - only one shot left
>meanwhile there are only three of us left defending the place
>i let allah take my hand and he guides the propelled grenade into the chopper
>our whole team starts spamming the allchat with ALLAHUACKBARR
>we win back our homeland due to one shot
>i'm the hero of my village
>get 77 virgins and a coke
underrated post
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>Be nigger redguard
>No skills of any kind
>Don't know any spells
>Go to winterhold mage guild
>Woman stops me from entering because I don't know any spells

>Scream racism
>Call up Jesse Jackson
>Class action lawsuit
>mfw affirmative action let me become the guild leader and I didn't do anything
>all these skyrimfags
fucking disgusting
>Low health, need to hit the hay.
>figure I would let my bros at the mages guild hit me up with one of their beds
>activating bed but not sleeping
>think game is frozen so I spam spacebar
>finally notice message on bottom of screen
>"You cannot sleep in a bed that isn't yours"
> oh okay thats kool.
> talk to guild leader to see where I can sleep
>wtf why you all snappy
>froget you then
>everyone in guild gives me a nasty look and a salty comment when I walk by them.
>feeling like an outcast, I walk outside.
>confronted by 2 guards
>says I have a 5000 septum fine
>wtf did I do
>load save
> go try every bed in mages guild
> whenever I try a bed mages look at me with disgust and say something harsh
>mfw I realize attempting to sleep in beds is illegal in morrowind.
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>not liking skyrim
>not a barely clothed loli
is it just me or do the horns look like croissants
love that mod
Are you French?
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damn nigguh you're right
ohhh wow, those are croissants
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holy shit I lold
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>be college fag in the 90's
>smoking a ton of weed erry day
>playing daggerfall on my home made nobox peecee
>high as fuck at 3 am running around towns and dungeons, killing villagers from my boat in the middle of town in the night while stoned, at night.
>in my boat, dont see shit. High as fuck.
>Few minutes of this and I need to take a break and come down a lil. Sipping cheap whisky to calm down.
>mfw I get out of the boat and start wandering around town and get jumped by a ghost screaming "vengence"
Considering shitty combat worth of this armour, it's very probable. Maybe it's even old croissant, which would add like two armour rating.
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>mfw when dragons can't take things in skyrim
Are you one of those hipster elder scrolls players who insists "morrowind da best!"?
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Nigger it's a scroll.
Though I'll forgive you for making me laugh with the MH17 victim thing.

>Getting DLC just to see what happens
>Not just literally starting Morrowind and finding out yourself that you shouldn't fuck with scrolls when you don't know how much they'll fuck with you too
nazeem says he owns chillfurrow farm but there aint such thang, broke ass nigga even carries a dummy key that unlocks nothing
Capped for future generations.
>Thinking Morrowind is not the best
>Even thinking Skyrim is slightly superior to even Oblivion
You ever played Tribunal?
dis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en2s7WyE0gg
Good old Loverslab mods.
>at first i think this actually happens in the game, till i realize it was part of the mod pack
I laughed so hard at that comment
I'd probably agree that Morrowind was better if I had played it when it was released and grew up with it, but I didn't. Haven't played tribunal
>I'd probably agree that Morrowind was better if I had played it when it was released and grew up with it, but I didn't.
Fair enough.
>Haven't played tribunal
Then you do not know how much of a difficulty spike Morrowind will force you into until you've played it with Tribunal.
Fake and gay ? Fuck off faggot
Shut the fuck up you annoying piece of shit. This isn't funny, you're literlaly cancer.
Meh, it's fun being attacked by Dark Brotherhood, free money.

These two posts have forced me to start a new skyrim chracter, currently updating all my mods.

It's going to be a difficult setup with Requiem mod:-

>dual blades, illusion, sneak
>enjoys messing with people to see how they react (thus illision)
>self centered
>Not "evil", but has no problem with killing if it gets him closer to his goal
You ever took a trip to the sewers anon?
no one is talking about scripted conversations you twat. we're talking about an AI randomly stabbing several people then getting launched into the air. Entertaining little fuck ups with the AI. Fuckwit
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Stay out of the sewers, citizen! Saty out of the Ratway!
One of the most fun experiences I ever had in skyrim was doing it as a Whiterun guard.

I took the uniform and equipment and went through the game as best I could.

I wasn't allowed to use anything other than what they have, and I could only heal by eating sweetrolls.
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Hey, I lost my friend because he went into the sewers.
Help me find him will you.
I promise you won't get brutally murdered over and over again.
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>"I could only heal by eating sweetrolls."
>eating a actual rl sweetroll right as I read this
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Made the mistake of doing that questline first. Sewers fucked me up man.
I tried doing main storyline before doing DLCs, but my computer went to shit somewhere after corprusarium.
>lying on the internet
Why do you say I was lying, all that I said was something that you can do yourself
That's a dam shame.
Well at least you were still in the easy parts of the main mission.
One time my friend was playing his wood elf named Saru and he walked into the imperial market district and it was here that we would experience chaos. Ontus Vanin was lurking in the busy crowds waiting on my friend to happen by so he could launch his attack. He comes running up at full speed yelling about how this man is a criminal and starts throwing out den wizard haymakers. Me and my buddy laugh because he did not provoke this now obviously insane mage in the slightest. We watch as a guard comes to settle things down but there will be no peace on this day. He attacks the guard while still trying to attack my mate's wood elf. Guard's status is nope not having it. This where it gets ringo dingo As the first guard attacks Ontus another runs to arrest that guard, another one shows up to squash that beef. Sit back and watch as the entire market district is thrown into disarray and civilians battle guards and merchants flee in terror.
>walking through a dungeon with an NPC buddy
>fight bandits near a trap like the one in the picture
>win, i decapitate the last of them with my hammer (wat)
>his head falls to the ground slowly rolls onto the pressure plate
>the trap flattens my buddy against the wall
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forgot pic
newfag learn to greentext
>being this new
I'd rather build my own pc than fix a windows vista?
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I have been here since before green texting was the preferred story telling method.
I went through the trouble of enchanting an amulet with a slow fall on target.
Saved that fuckers life.
Turns out he's an ungrateful cunt.
Kill him immediatly after a day of planning and just took his scrolls.
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Oblivion with mods is the best thing to ever "come out" of Bethesda, mainly because it's been around for close to a decade and is moddable as shit. It also had much better side quests than skyrim and some of best guild questlines in the series.

First thing you're going to want to do when you get a new PC:

>Download the expansions
>Download any texture mods you want
>Download this mod pack:
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B_pHj0dQg6a6azhsNUtaMG1MR2s (a direct link you get access to when you shitpost three times on these forums: http://superpackden.mastertopforum.net/index.php)
>Download any mods not included, but in particular:

Better Cities
Brighter Drop Lit Torch
Cyrodil Transportation Network
Deadly Reflex
Enhanced Weather
Let the people Drink
Menu Escape
Persuasion Overhaul
Put it in its Place
Roleplaying Dialogues
Symphony of Violence
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>Baldur's Gate
>from the wiki:
Shar-Teel is an extremely aggressive and bloodthirsty warrior who has a strong hatred of males, and the Flaming Fist mercenary company in particular. If defeated in a duel by a male member of the player's party after issuing a challenge, she is impressed and grudgingly pledges to join the group.
>defeat her, allow her to join my party
>steal her equipment
>equip her with Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity - a curser belt that changes your gender
>use a couple of cursed scrolls to lower her attributes
>kick her out
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How has this faggot not been posted?
do you know what bricked means
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i had some crazy faps over oblivion.
Didn't even realize that i was fapping for a solid 8 hours.
The control over a female character and making her and her friends whore out to bestial creatures and monsters and her moans and hearing the other girls moan, shit was crazy.
skyrim may be better now with sex mods, but oblivion made my brain explode.
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>mfw grand dragon is a title in the KKK
oh bethesda you
to avoid her getting killed just place some food near her
>watching one of my favorite streamers, Peeve
>doesn't fast travel in order to preserve immersion
>ok whatever
>does the Thieves' Guild quest where you break Amusei out of a jail
>Amusei sneaks away unscathed
>in-game weeks later, Amusei is spotted travelling near the Imperial City
>sneaking, on the road, in broad daylight
>mfw he doesn't stop sneaking around until the player fast travels or he actually gets to the Imperial City
>wow what a stealthy motherfucker
Some say he is still sneaking to this day.
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The fuck are you talking about? grand dragon?
How's DaggerFall working out for you?
A quick one

>doing my mountain climbing
>side to side, jumpjumpjumpjump
>broad daylight
>see red marker on compass ahead
>its up the mountain
>its a rat and it jumps toward me
>actually jumps 10 feet above me
>i follow it with my eyes
>it blocks out the sun and falls to its death behind me
>put away sword and keep going
>be me and preety newb into gaming
>character creation - wow i want to play cat
>did fargoth quest cause saw solutiion in magazine
>walking around and stealing shit
>went to balmora
>fucking lizzard at town gates! attack fucker right away
>he droped dead - i ralised he was a citizen
>no witnesses so proside with game
>eventually saved morrowind but that guy was lieing dead on that spot through my whole gameplay reminding me of my horrible dead
>dont be racist kids fish can be man just like apes
>red marker
I thought that Oblivion's compass didn't feature that, I remember the red blips first with Fallout 3...
(forgive my question, have not yet played Oblivion mods)
>pure insanity.avi
red blips for enemy npcs/creatures***
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>bored, go to Whiterun
>get annoyed at Heimskr yelling shit with his stupid voice
>quicksave next to him
>beat the shit out Heimskr
>repeat 9001 times in different creative ways
>not bored anymore
>have invincible companion
>just running through the world towards mission
>turn around, quest buddies is fucking lost
>big fucking surprise probly glitched on a wall somewhere, running in place.
>see a small spec flying up and down far off
> investigate, nothing here but some gentle giants.
>companion enters atmosphere and hits the ground a foot in front of me.
>takes a knee, then gets up, pulls out a sword and talks shit to the giant.
>giant brings down Thor's hammer and rockets NPC back into stratosphere. Arms and legs swinging wildly all the way.
>eventually NPC is just a pixel, visiting his Nord ancestor.
>feels like a minutebefore he hurdles back down.
>takes a knee, gets up, calls the giant a nigger...
I put my trust in you anon
"I'll see you BACK AT THE HOUSE, MYY THHHAAAAaaaaanneeee .................."

> Lydia as she's flying back into the air upward , voice dissappearing out of earshot, as the giant's continue to play sky-tennis with her body......once she lands again..
>Playing STALKER: SoC
>Mercenaries start slaughtering everyone in Barkeep
>Kill all of the mercenaries
>"Attention Stalkers there is a murderer on Duty Territory"
>Guy I saved in hangar just stares at me as I become swiss cheese
>Fuck you, I gave you a medkit
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>kfc ID get
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