ITT: We post stories of how we fucked up with our crushes >Be in 9th grade >taking drama because no effort required >See qt3.14 >pic related >want to occupy that pussy >Mostly chill with a group of friends >for some reason I'm not beta around her, I can talk to her and shit, call her over to tell her a joke, etc >seems like she enjoys my company >school ends, summer starts >bummed that I can't see her anymore, but I add her on fb >chat her on FB, goes well, we have some common interests >find out she has an ask.fm (site where you can ask questions anonymoose-ly >For some fucking inexplicable reason, I go and ask a bunch of fucking flaying related questions there >she's fucking creeped out, but doesn't know it's me >Then the part of my brain which makes sure I don't lose my virginity kicks in >I message her on FB "A flayed man has no secrets" >She's shocked it was me, but takes it well >we joke around about it >Later she posts on my status something about flaying >I decide that I don't want to seem TOOO into her, so I respond with "Stop commenting on my shit I'm busy" >Actually pat myself on the back after typing that >she hasn't talked to me since >gives me disgusted looks if I see her in school
Youre fucking stupid. You dont act like an asshole. You play nice and tease. Also you never should have said a fucking word about flaying. What the fuck is flaying? What kind of depraved psychopathic shit is that? Does she even look remotely like someone who would be into that? Get a normal fetish FFS
>Be me just ending 9th grade >Feel strangely about this one girl I have on Facebook >Haven't talked to her since Grade 1 and she just moved away to a town half an hour from mine >First week into summer fall for her >Suppress feelings for a month >Find her ask.fm page >Be kinda nerdy..she finds it cute >I reveal myself to her on Facebook (not as spaghetti as OP's encounter, though) >We start chatting slowly >We begin chatting every day by the end of the summer >Seems perfect to me >We chat everyday >See each other like twice >Never kiss her >Tell her I love her (through facebook) like 3 months later >Enter somewhat of a "relationship" >Few months later she leaves for another guy because he lived closer >Feel I could've done better and tried harder to actually see her >MFW I believe I actually loved her >Smoke weed and get the fuck over it >Now falling for another girl and I know I will probably fuck this one over too
>>559320476 >Be me 17 years old >My sweet heart, 14 >I had asked for sex a few times >"No, Anon, I'm too young" >so one night, we are walking in the moon light >we pass a gold course >"He anonette, let's go take a look at the lake > in the moon light" >"OK, Anon" >we curl up on a blanket next to the lake >I roll over, rip her clothing off and start raeping > the shit out off her, then I raep her ass >so what does this little bitch do >she broke up with me >stalked her for years, but she wouldn't take me back >even after repeated violations of the restraining order she placed on me >If my being put in jail for stalking her didn't prove my love >what would
>making conversation with crush over Facebook >turns out we both like hiphop >send her a song I like >listened to it so much that the lyrics seem fine >song specifically says "Let me put my mouth where you potty, boo" >she never responds
> Be in 9th grade > Move to a new School > get 1 best friend only , kek > after a while a girl seemed to have a crush on me > don't know what to do exactly > we keep talking on fb and never talk irl > she asks me to walk her home ._. > walk for over 30 minutes and no one every says a thing > i never had the chance to fully talk to her or anything > move to a new place , no friends , nothing > 24/7 on the internet > Ta da :(
2005 >Be 15 >Got huge crush on girl I knew easily 9.9/10 >Considered to be slut by other girls >Too chicken shit to say something >Always flirt >After 1 year work up nerve to call her ask her out >Anon I have a bf >FUUUUUUUUUU.jpg >take it hard but play it off cool >New school year, just say hi thats it >mfw I was an idiot to try but hey I got it out >She moves away >Meet other girls >Through the years I here and there she models >Last year, found out she did some handjob domination vids >Bit of a mind blow >She's married but her husband allows that. I'm guessing he's a cuck. Poor bastard.
Looking back, it was just a crush. Nothing surprises me anymore. She was pretty cool so I can't say anything bad, never did me wrong and I'm not spiteful. Make your money, no fucks given on my end.
>Have huge crush on this girl. >Never do anything but get close to her. >Last day of clases go on bus with her. >Talk with her and she keeps staring at my lips. >Know whats going on but too beta to do anything. >She leaves. >MFW I regret that day.
>10th grade >live in France because my parents moved there >a 9/10 girl who sits next to me talks to me, whenever I make retarded jokes she giggles >starts hitting my leg with her foot >leans on me when she laughs >some time later, says "Anon, do you want us to be lovers?" (this is roughly how it translated from French) >panic, don't know what to do >don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do in a relationship >pretend I don't understand her >she blushes hard as fuck >awkward silence
>>559324275 >OMFGGGGG rek'ddddddd xDDDDDD >Certified reddit ruseman >Fight me fagget :DDD :DDDD :DDDDDD >Amazing comeback u got rek'd lil bitch :)))))) :PPP >I dont car fight me irl >lvl 69 COD fuked ur mom >ya go fap lil fag xDDDDD lol i ll rek u m8
Wow respect bruhhhhhhhh xDDDDDDDDD sorry man respect. I'll make a Me-me with ur name and RESPECT man xDDDD
I got something ongoing, so here goes >be last monday >friend who's also a girl through another friend who's also a girl texts me and pretty much says she wants to hookup >literally have no idea what hookup means >say ok, next time you're in the area hmu >ask friend what hookup means >asks me if I'm retarded then says I'm like 12 still THEN tells me it usually means sex >be past week >talk to her on and off not everyday, every couple days maybe >still seems interestd in me She has given head but is still a v according to mutual friend But wait, there's more! I'm celibate or abstinate or wtf ever and I kinda want to keep it that way Does anal or oral count? That's pretty much my only question. Also, I've done and had oral before but was before moral cuck
>>559325690 Anal does not make you lose your v-card, unless youre doing it with another guy. It's all based on the hymen, even though ironically a lot of virgins lost their hymen from bike riding or masturbating with barbie dolls or shit like that
>>559326837 Once you have a gf, just ask her if she wants to ever try anal in her life. Then later, ask if she wants to have sex. If she says no, later bring up how you can do anal, and not lose your virginity. Problem solved.
I cant say I've ever really fucked up with a crush, most of them became girlfriends which are now exs. A couple stories come to mind though.
>Be 16 working at waterpark as lifeguard >Fellow lifeguard shows up on his days off with 2 easily 9/10's >Hey annon >How's it going? >Good this is my girlfriend annonette and her friend >They get on one of the lazy river ride and float around >They keep passing me and the 9/10 friend makes small talk and stuff with me each time they pass >Come around and she's looking down >Lifeguard comrade yells "She think's you're cute!" >Fuck yeh >End up getting her number and texting her after I get off work >Hey annonette want to goto the fair tonight? >"I would love to but I have to catch a plane tomorrow so I cant be out late tonight" >"A plane? Where are you going?" >"Alaska that's where I live" >We talk off and on for about a month after that and eventually I just stop talking to her.
>Spicy indian sikh xDDDD >STFU i no wat autism mean i browse /b/ >OMG wat a noob :P xDDD r u newfag???!11 >gg fugging noob >So funnay xDDD not scared send it to her >1v1 me m8 I can mak it funierer xDDDDd
>>559327306 Are you fucking retarded? Who the fuck goes through that kind of shit just to dox someone? And how would that explain the fucking 1 year old pic I found where she comments on my shit and I be a dick? Go back to getting mad at obama for 9/11 you blithering autist
>Gives me her number, and we talk >get drunk together a couple times at bonfires >end up having sex a couple times >mutual agreement we are "dating" >I go home for the summer >couple days later, she says she wasn't looking for a relationship >she wants the "casual friday night relationship" >She says "I'm a romantic, she isn't. >other shit happens >Barely knew what was happening, she never told me much till it was "over" >we agree to be friends >well that was a lie >she ends up unfriending me on facebook because I commented on one of her posts about sharks >starts posting huge rants on tumblr about me >I confront her about it >she posts more and won't respond to me >I'm the bad guy
She was a feminist too, apparently me being a "human rights activist" and not a "feminist" made me a and I quote, "blowsy misogynist"
Oh well. I got laid, was fun while it lasted and it's good to know that even if I messed up somehow, she was crazy (somewhat)
>found out my sister's friend was looking at me >date her >fuck her in my car a dozens times >never really interested in make her my girlfriend >finally stop to see her >start to realise she was an interesting person >she gets sick and is almost dying
>be me >be senior in hs >been crushing on girl a year below me for 6 months >heard from a mutual friend she wanted to hook up >end of the school year rager >tonightsthenight.jpeg >get there, only available alcohol is jungle juice >never had jungle juice before >fuck it >didn't taste like alcohol at all >8 cups in 20 minutes >playing beer pong later, crush is my partner >borderline blackout >make a move that may or may not have been not at the right time at all >she goes with it >fuck yes >5 minutes later puke on the really expensive pool table and pass out >everyone including her sees >tfw i'm crowned asshole of the year
We still hung out around mutual friends a lot afterwards but all my friends made fun of my for it for months and she clearly was no longer interested
>meet this girl in a class, didn't think anything of it >talk here or there but still beta fag-a-lot >2 years later meet her again >hug her since I haven't seen her for awhile >exchange numbers and shit >talk every day, text each other real late at night >she invites herself over to watch some movies >okay.jpeg >she came over with friend >nothing happens, aside from me making some jokes and stuff to make her laugh >a month later she invites herself over again >feelsgoodman.jpg >decide I really like her >ask her out before spring break >she tells me she needs some time >hasn't talked to me since I fucked up /b/
>>559329062 That was me and my girlfriend up until about 3 months ago when we met for the first time, Long distance relationships are possible, they are just touchy. It also helps if you live within 500 miles of the person.
>half way through 8 or 9th grade sitting in lunch with friends >look over and see new girl (school had like 400 people) and instantly get that weird butterfly feeling >after weeks of watching her I finally get the nerve to ask her out >She instantly says yes and that she was wondering when I was gonna ask her >In none of her classes so I hardly see her >Can't invite her to my house because poorfag and shitty crackhouse >we barely hang out and when we do I can never make eye contact and pretty much don't talk >3 months into 'relationship' her friends talk me into first kiss >give her a peck at school dance then leave with friends to smoke pot >pretty much see her two or three times in the next month >one day out skating with friends she texts me saying we were over
>never date anyone again
She was a really sweet girl, the text she sent me was like 8 paragraphs long I'm just a fuck up.
>found out my sister's friend was looking at me >date her >fuck her in my car a dozens times >never really interested in make her my girlfriend >finally stop to see her >start to realise she was an interesting person >she gets sick and is almost dying
>>559329756 I guess i had a long distance relationship, it just lasted three days. She was getting attention from a guy that lived in her town, so she ended up with him, because i live more than 1000 miles away from her
>be summer of 2010 >cute girl from PE class adds me on FB >I like her, but we never talked >I start small talk with her on Facebook and hit it off like that >she's nerdy, but completely my type >maybe 100 pounds at most >dyed red hair, braces, cute glasses >has popular friends, she's not some gross basement dweller >talk the whole summer, she tells me her hot friend is in love with my best friend >me and girl still talk, but I ignore her a lot and never hangout >this is because freshman year, I was beta. I was going to become a junior, and I was alpha as by then >trying to be alpha as fuck, she was kind of in my way >start to ignore all of her texts and shit >summer ends, and junior year of high school begins >see her and I feel somewhat bad, and ask her out the first week of school >it's great, I've never felt so happy with this girl >although I never told anyone, she was the first girl I kissed. But we broke up soon and I was looking at some 10/10 bitch that would help me climb the social ladder a bit
Be present day >with girl for four years >live together, practically married >2 cats, just got a puppy less than a month ago >feel the need to hit up sluts on okcupid >send the most outrageous messages because I am a misogynist and most of them are whores >girlfriend sees these messages and is filled with disgust >leaves me without notice and takes the dog >lost without her and here i am, posting on /b/ with the rest of you pieces of shit, because you fucks are the only ones who can top me on the worthless scale
>>559330680 Yeah that's what I'm always afraid of with my girlfriend, we've been together a year and a month and we have our fights but it hasnt been anything serious yet, and she is in no way a slut, we were actually both virgins up until our one year anniversary. Sometimes I just find myself wondering if she'll find someone there that is just like me or better and I'll just become insignificant.
>15 back then first crush >invite her to a party i organized >talk to her a bit noballs to push it further >party coming to an end >mobilize every anon powers i had and ask if i can walk her home cuz too late ffor a cutie to walk alone this far >agrees >gain confidence talk with her like i woul with a best buddy >sudden realization she likes me >panic a bit but it still goes smooth >sudden realization i dont know what do panic even more cuz shes giving signs >still comfortable tho she likes my company >wtf am i doing dat feel in the stomach >she sees im too autistic to do anything. giggles at my awkwardness when she tries to close ththe distance >makes a move >omg im in trouble >its coming >im leaving a trail of spaghetti behind me at that point >goes for it >anon im scared to go thru these blocks >me too
>>559330287 Yes, very much so. The first girl I ever asked out basically cut communication afterwards. About 2 weeks later I was talking with this new girl and she seemed very much dead set on making me get over the previous girl/making me happier. Asked her out and shit was cash. It might actually be helpful to have a little sob story, in my experience.
>new girl in the class >more or less I fell in love with that bitch >I was a very introverted person back then, and didn't know shit about girls etc no experience >I knew from the beggining that I don't have chance but I just couldn't get her out of my fucking mind >just trying not to act too beta around her >my worthless attempts to get closer failed >we never even became close friends, we just talked from time to time, at I least I tried to >by the time I got very butthurt because she hung out with some losers and not with me > I was trying to forget about her >mfw she knows that I like her and once tried to make me talk to her about it >too much spaghetti, I just played dumb >less and less interaction as more time passed >we stopped talking completely I should really talk to her..
>>559330939 >forget cute girl and go to pursue this 10/10 Asian >of course it doesn't work, because her personality is shit. >while I was spending time with her behind ex gf's back, me and her tried fixing our relationship. >I was choosing between high school popularity and a classic high school couple >I chose popularity >get nowhere with both of them >gf hates me and said how I'm a heartless person trying to get two girls at once >I actually was hurt >she doesn't give me another chance and I don't blame her >on a positive note, I was alpha throughout high school, so at least something worked. >if I did have a time machine, I'd fix my stupid mistake, because I'm sure I would've had a better time if we we're together.
>>559331524 Thanks man, I have really bad trust issues from exes in the past, lately she keeps doing things that kind of strain my trust in her but its nothing serious mostly just petty jealousy that comes with the distance. Just cheer up and smile anon, girls like smiles, a man who can smile can make her smile. You just have to go out and socialize, put your feelings out there when it feels right, worst case scenario you get rejected but there are 3 billion other women out there, you will find the right one eventually.
My first crush was in the 3rd grade (I'm 29 now). Her name was Emily and we were in the same class. She was beautiful and was one of the few girls who was nice and would talk to me. One day the teacher came and and told all of us that Emily was really sick and would be out for a while. Each day I asked our teacher how she was and each day the teacher was more uncertain. After 4 days Emilys mom (she is a teacher in the school system) came to talk to us and told us that Emily had passed away. She had a brain aneurysm and didn't survive. My mom now has worked in the school system for 10 years and will relay messages from me to Emilys mom. I never told her I had a crush on her daughter before she passed away. =(
>>559320476 >be me >earlier this year move into a new apartment at a new college >see cute redhead that lives on my floor and talk to her a couple times in the elevator >see her twirling flags out in the park on the way to school one day. (Later found out she was in color guard) >walk over and start talking to her and just ask her for her number >next day out of nowhere starts snowing like crazy >schools canceled >text girl and ask her if she wants to make a snow man >girl says yes and we go to the top of a parking garage and start having a snowball fight instead >shit was awesome had so much fun >start throwing snowballs off the top of the parking garage at pedestrians. >cops come to the top of parking garage and almost arrest us but I somehow talk my way out of it and get off free now problems. >walk to some pizza place nearby and grab dinner >bestfuckingdayevar >we start dating for a couple months. >we live on the same floor in my apartment but she stays over at my place all the time >sohappy.jpg >some of her friends from color guard plan a trip to disney world >Talk to her about it and i'm like what the hell it's over spring break and its something to do plus I don't wanna be here all alone >so i'm on board to go >spring break comes around and I have all my shit packed >ready to get some mad pussy at disney world >get in the car with her and some of her friends and she s acting like a totally different person. >not talking to me >not responding to things I say >but shes not acting mad at me either >can't really get a word in around her friends but I keep trying >she is way to into her friends conversations >I realize how fucking annoying her friends are >constantly screaming in a high pitched voice "we're going to disney world" like every five fucking minutes >whatever not my problem I don't have to fuck her friends just my bitch
>9th grade year >summer after 9th grade >failed horribly, so went to summer school to get some credits >I start out by being the funny guy, but not a class clown. >funny comment here and there. >notice a grill in the corner of the room >she's 14 while I'm 16 >don't give a fuck. >I like her but I don't want to talk to her. >sceenie weenie to a degree, lovely face and pretty mature for her age. talks with style and intelect. >she comes over to me and casualy asks if she can befriend me. >yeah sure you don't need to ask >we talk about shit, both like the Grateful Dead, Rage Agaisnt the Machine, (I think she only said she liked the Grateful Dead because she thinks she's a stoner) and system of a down. >She likes Nirvana while I likes my grandparents music/my mothers hippy music and some soft metal. >Thiscanworkout >She asks if i have any social network accounts, facebook, twitter, ect. >I say Facebook, she adds me. >Later that day she messages me and wants me to hang out with her >Fuck yeah, sure, where do you want to meet and when >the high school, and around 3. >I'll be there. >casual clothes >Grateful Dead shirt and green shorts. we had a great time and at the end of the day I got beta and shook her hand. I asked if she wanted to hang out the next day she said yeah
we did, blah blah blah, except when she left I kissed her and asked her out that night.
she said yes
i took her to the mall the next day I had money so why not spoil her once
I guess once was enough, I bought her food and starbucks and a shirt and then she broke up with me.
>be me >about to be taking drivers ed in school >my car is two girls (we'll call them A and B) two guys and our creepy driving instructor >knew the other dude a little bit but didn't like him very much and had only seen the girls around school before >B is one of the ugliest people this planet has ever produced and A is absolutely beautiful, pale skin, freckles, amazing body etc. >Quickly find out that A and I have a mutual dislike of the other dude which we frequently use to playfully throw jokes at him while he's driving. >Eventually A and I get to talking and I find out she's really cool and more nerdy than me. Goes to comic con, cosplays, reads XKCD, plays vidya. >On top of it all she's sassy and has a great sense of humor. >Learn that we shared a few female mutual friends and by some miracle I get her number and we all hang out as a group soon after. >Hadn't seen the mutuals in a while but reconnect and tell some good stories that get everyone laughing. >Soon after this she starts texting me to hang out somewhat often and at first I'm all for it and I go to whatever she's offering to take me to. >Around this time she starts drinking again (had stopped for a while apparently) and then we start going to parties and shit. >Things were going well because when we drank, everything was a lot smoother and we flirted a lot more. >Eventually start blowing off her offers to hang out because I was too immature to realize that she was into me. >Ended up making the attraction stronger because although we hung out less, it was a bigger deal when we did. >One night were at a party together when she tells one of my friends she wants me to take her to prom. >He tells me >I'm really happy to hear it but just the fact alone made me overly complacent and I never ended up doing it. >Didn't regret it at the time but now I obviously do >We start hanging out less and talking less >One night we both end up at a party through separate means and she is with one of our mutual friends
>>559335658 >End up talking to the mutual all night instead of her >Mutual and I get pretty drunk and its looking like were gonna hook up >Somehow A comes up in our conversation and she tells me that A was, and still is, pretty into me >Hearing this gave me the weirdest mix of emotions >Couldn't go through with hooking up with mutual after that >Young and inexperienced so unsure about what to do with this information >End up doing nothing and hoping she tells me herself or makes some kind of move. >Never happens >After a while she ends up getting back together with her scumbag ex >When ex moves in with her family due to his family being shit I begin to accept that I lost my chance >Still together to this day. >Still think about what could have been all the time because I've been pretty unsuccessful with girls since then. >Had sex in college but not with anyone that beautiful or awesome. >Sigh
>Be in first grade >love Abby with all my little heart >How do I let her know? >See parents flipping each other off and then laugh and smooch afterwards >Bingo >Nest day walk right up to her and give her the finger right in her face >She runs off crying and I get a note sent home >Never really try again 22 now and my virginity is arguable (It's been too damn long), I never take chances now because of it. I never make the first move
>>559334512 >try to get in good with her friends. as I hope it'll help me look good to my girl >already met my girls whole family and they love me man >take me out to dinner every week buy me a free fucking nice meal >sodamnhappy.jpg >so anyways we get to disney world >all these fucking girls and one gay guy are freaking the fuck out >like hyperventilating and shit because they are at disney world >screaming like wild fucking hyenas "OMFG DISNEY WORLD GAW,SSAFAFKLFAKAFG" over and over >it is so obnoxious other people nearby are visibly annoyed >whatever I'll just ignore how obnoxious these bitches are and fuck my bitch when we both get our room >find out i'm paired in a room with my girl, the gay guy and her best friend >wellthatsjustfuckinggreat.jpg >whatever on vacation just wanna have fun >first thing these bitches do when we get to the room is they all check their tumblrs and facebooks and instagrams for like 2 hours >i'm not fucking kidding >we are in disney land and these girls are waaaayyy more excited to be here than me and instead of going out and having fun these bitches wanna check myspace. >dumb hoes >whatever still just gonna ignore them >we go to kroger to get some food for when we are at the hotel >I figure this might be a good chance to get in with some of my girls friends >nonchalantly buy her best friends food and the gay guys food. all of it. act like its no big deal. >nobody even says thankyou to me... >fucking whatever if i'm gonna do something nice for somebody then I shouldn't expect a thankyou >i'm sure they appreciate it. I mean it was only like $60 dollars of food not including mine. >get back to disney hotel resort shit and everybody wants to go to dinner >sweet i'm gonna fucking chow down and spoil myself >we go to this shitty fucking restaurant (i feel ashamed even calling it a restaurant) where they only sell hotdogs hamburgers and pizza >okwhatever.jpg >still just try to have fun
>In 9th grade. >Wen't from 160 lbs to 125 lbs. >Girls suddenly started to notice me. >Have hazel eyes and at the time had long curly hair. Girls love it. >Girl I like had huge rack. >Got to feel them every time we hugged to say bye after lunch was over. >She would call me on the phone and we'd talk. >Once we talked for about 6+ hours on the phone. >We would talk a lot in MSN Messenger. >Hung out with her. >I was wayyy to shy in person. >In lunch I had my friends around me. Me and her would have small conversations. >One day we go to movies. >We sat next to each other while my friend and her friend were in the front seat of the car. >I didn't say a word until we got to the movies. I was too damn shy. >Watched the movie. >We talked some on the way back to drop her off home. >Hugged her bye, got to feel her huge lovely boobs. >She ended up losing interest in me. >Was wayyy to shy. >The end, I was too shy. >The one that go away.
>be 12-13 >cute grill is in my photoshop class >I talk to her and make her laugh a lot >One day I decide to ask her out with one of my friends phones. >turns out terribly >she hangs up >my friend wont tell her that it was a dare, like I told him to. >next day at class >"hey annanon" >oh, hey anon >we didnt talk the rest of class >teacher even made me stay after class to clean up all the spaghetti I spilled >two years later >we still talk >I dont see the point in being friends with her >I originally started talking to her two years ago because I liked her >she has better friends that me >she doesn't even respond to my text which pisses me off >I try not to act mad because were not together >she has a boyfriend >she will never go out with me >I'm too ugly >too beta >and too black >pic related
>>559336041 >so I notice that this place offers like the most unappatizing shit of a little personal pizza for like 10 dollars. >not even close to enough to fill you up either and then they offer a big ass actually okay looking pizza for like 18 dollars >my girlfriends best friend is in line with me >ask her if she wants to share a big pizza with same toppings >she says sure >not even 30 seconds later she orders a personal pizza for herself >like right fucking in front of me >whatthemotherfuck.jpg >this was the very moment where I started to feel as though I was not wanted on this trip >ohifonlyIknew.jpg >suck it up don't make a big deal out of the pizza thing >get my own shitty pizza >sit down with my girl at the table with all her friends >tastes fucking horrible >everybodys making conversation and its about colorguard which i don't know to much about but I still try to enter into the conversation and ask everybody some things about colorguard and seem interested. >bitches just straight up ignore me >okay.jpg >aloneforever.jpg >finish my shit pizza and politely excuse myself from the table >go back to hotel by myself >pull out some fucking math homework >on spring break >on vacation >on the first fucking night >whatever >everybody comes back and is laughing having their own conversation >just let them do them and I do me and just try to get some homework done >so now at this point all the bitches are rudely saying anon why are you doing homework we are in disney world >tell them i just wanted to get it outta the way real quick so i could focus on having fun >bitches are like come get drunk with us blah blah > in my head thinking "nah yall bitches are annoying as fuck" plus my girl can't drink because she is underage >I tell them I'll come out a little later and have a drink with them >they all leave except for my girl >now my girl is like whats wrong blah blah >first fucking time shes even really talked to me >just play it cool
>be me in 9th grade >be emo fag with parents who don't give a shit >end up under a Bakers Act and in an asylum >see 9/10 redhead, just my type >my type as in visibly weak and horny >end up a couple weeks later talking to her on fb >she asks me out >wut.jpg >we go out to see some movie I don't remember >too busy making out to care >be me a few weeks later, on the beach with her >she's a cheerleader so flexible as fuck >she's doing magic tricks with her body for me >really do love her the more I get to know her >a month of some sexcapades Here's where it gets messy >be about three months since we started dating >on the bus home from school >get message with just one word >"goodbye" >get into a tizzy because its a sign shits going down >get home, she's on the floor in a pool of blood in front of the house >her charm bracelet says goodbye lover >look around the doorway and see a sheet of paper
if you guys want I'll tell you the letter after I quit crying like a little bitch
>>559337981 >tell nothings wrong and i'm really excited and ready to have fun. >also mention how her friends have been a bit rude to me and how she hasn't really paid me much attention but politely. >she says lets go have fun then >so I agree we get up and go out to the pool >have a really good time >me and my girl are swimming around shes on my shoulders we are being very flirty and laughing a lot >having such a great time >her friends are watching us from outside the pool >none of the are swimming >just watching >I swim over to them with my girl and try to start up conversation >they don't talk to me much >whateverfuckyouguys.jpg >keep having fun with my girl >have an actually pretty okay night int the end >next day. >we go to fucking disney world >I'm not much of a person for roller coasters but i'll ride practically anything else >all her whale friends wanna go on these stupid shitty kid rides >whatever.jpg >standing in line for hours and her friends are all taking selfies and talking about their facebook posts and instagram and other stupid shit >literally can't get off their phones >in disney land >that they are all so excited to be at >oh i forgot about the screaming >so much fucking high pitched screaming about DISNEY LAND OMFG DHSAFHGALDKFJA >literally hurts my ears >hurts other peoples ears >people look at my group like shut the fuck up my kids are better behaved than that. >i'm still being like whatever >we get to space mountian and i'm like i'ma sit this one out guys i don't like roller coasters >a fucking shit ton of peer pressure >anon wut you don't like roller coasters >wut anon omfg >anon your so lame >anon its just a roller coaster >i'm just like nah i aint about dat roller coaster life you guys have fun >go do my own thing >they get of the roller coaster and my girl comes and finds me. >tell her we should go have some me and her time and go on some rides together.
I promise this is going to get absurdly bad just gotta create the story
I've got a trillion of these, but I'll just start with a shorter one before going into the more catastrophic ones.
>Be 17 >Massive crush on new girl in school >She's a grade below me but we're in the same gym class >She's a goddamn knockout and I'm a greasy headbanger, but we hit it off right away anyway because god likes to toy with me >I'm also a monstrous idiot >I'm a big Maddox fan at this point in time, I recently bought The Alphabet of Manliness >There's a section about how in order to ensure manly children, you must listen to heavy metal while pregnant (based on the Mozart Effect) >Women don't listen to metal, men must preempt it by blasting their balls with metal >I think it's hilarious >Gym class selects bowling unit >Basically just means you go bowling for 90 minutes, total slack off period >We're on the bus back, and I'm listening to my headphones >By "listening", I mean "My headphones are planted firmly on my ballsack and I have Necrophagist blasting at full volume" >She strikes up conversation and asks what my favorite band is >I get super excited because she'd listened to some of my music before and liked a bit of it, so I was hoping to turn her on to more >"Oh, my favorite band is probably Running Wild. Some awesome German speed metal. They're on my iPod if you'd like to listen!" >She smiles and sticks her hand out, beckoning for headphones >I excitedly reach into the front of my pants and yank my headphones of my assuredly stanky nutsack >The look on her face remains the most hilarious mixture of shock, confusion, and disgust I've ever seen in my life
Of course, at this point I have to try to explain why in the fuck I had my headphones on my nards, so I explain it all. To which she asks "Well what if nobody will carry your children?"
>>559340079 > my girlfriend is reluctant at first >but i end up talking her into it >we go grab some food together and were eating hotdogs and fries and this duck just walks right up to our table and i feed him a fry >my girlfriend is gitty with excitement >she starts feeding him >every other duck in disney land is like wut free food >so many ducks surronding us >laughing so hard >we are both feedig ducks and watching them waddlefight each other for fries >little girl next to us is watching and looks so desperatly like she wants to feed a duck too >dressed in little princess outfit >I ask her "you wanna feed a duck" >she just nods her head yes >doesn"t even smile shes like nervous she wants to do it so bad >give her a fry and tell her to hold it out >duck walks right up and gently grabs it and walks of >little girl is so happy shes like practically in tears >girls parents are like "you just made disney world for our daughter" >my girl is really happy thought it was really nice >so me and my girl finsih up and start going on some rides >go to the haunted mansion, on the boat, its a small world, pretty much all the ones that arn't lame as fuck >have WAAAAYYY more fun than we did with her friends. >we all planned to go to dinner together that night so we meet up with her friends at the ost expensive resturant in damn disney world >this is where the shit gets good >so we sit down and order our food >one of the girls in our group looks at her phone and looks visibly scared. >whats wrong? >girl announces to the table that her phone only has 3 percent battery power left and wont be able to take pictures of her food to post on instagram >liveintherealworldalittlehoe.jpg >girl grabs a charger from her phone and runs to the bathroom >bitch is in the bathroom for like half an hour >charging her phone >at disney world >at the most fucking expensive resturant >her food got to the table before she did and sat for like 10 minutes
>>559320476 Lost the best girl I ever had when I was 21 or so. She was 19. I was with her for 5 years, 4 of which were awesome. Then she started working in a music store and a Dairy barn. She met a million new guys in those 2 jobs. Losing her led me to doing way too much cocaine and doing more and more perverse things while getting high. I pretty much let her leaving me ruin my life as deep down I knew I had issues and was never going to meet and get along with someone else like me and her did during those younger years. And I was right...28 years later I am all alone.
I dont think I never told anyone this, here goes the story of my first crush >be 12yo me, ugly glasses, a bit of a nerd dipshit >have huge crush on the cutest girl in my class for years >every dude agrees shes the best looking, but my case is near obsession >too shy to talk to her, if she talks to me I play asshole >wouldhave lit. killed myself if anyone found out, so i only tell my mum >School ends, we both go to different high schools >that very summer i decide fuck it i'll ask her out (mum supports me) >call, her mother answers, tells me Anonette is in the sower >thought of her wet naked body makes butterflies intensify >forget how to speak. She answers the phone >H-HEY ANOneTtE i wAS woNdrin if mBe u n i coUlD go MoviEz oR sumThIn i dunno >she asks who else is coming >n-No ONe elS jUs u n ME. LiEk seE a moovy or SuMthin I dunno >[silence] >Oh Anon.. I'm sorry, I can't. >Tha-th-tha-that's OK. Thanks, bye!
And I never listened to my mother again.
Years later, I find out she kept in touch with the class and told them about my call. So I never see any of them again out of shame.
>A few years ago, both of us are 20ish >I've grown up to be a quite attractive dude, chicks dig me and the like >see her on the street. I wish I could say she'd become fugly. But heck no, shes fucking HAWT. >clearly biased here but im talkin 11/10 >walk up to her, call her by name, she's surprised
Tfw she did't remember me at all. All those years of my life wasting thoughts on that bitch. And she has no recall of me whatsoever. That "broke the spell" for me.
>>559320476 Holy shit OP, that fetish isn't even allowed on /d/ of all places, because even they consider guro to be fucking offputting. How can you not see that if /d/ doesn't even show it, you -shouldn't tell your crush about it-?
>>559342140 >all the other girls are like omg is she okay hurrr fucking durrrr >i'm dying >i can't even try to enjoy myself around these girls >girl comes back and starts taking pictures of her fucking food >shit wasn't even that good to be honest >all the girls have their phones out >I announce to the group that we should probably put our phones away and enjoy ourselves. >girls look at me like wutthefukdidujustsay >oh damn i did it now >girls have disguted loooks on their faces and start making snarky remarks >whatves bitches >waiter comes to our table and starts asking everybody if the would like any wine alcohol blah blah >all the bumb bitches are like yhhha lets get drunk hururrr >I order a light up goblet filled with chocolate milk just to be that guy >girls are all looking at me like wut >my girlfriend thinks its hilarious and does teh same >yeah thats right >sipping my chocolate milk. >i'm like lets get the fuck outta here babe >my girlfriend is like yeah lets do that >SHE suggests we shoudl go back to the hotel room early so i can beat that shit up >ummhellyeah.jpg >we go back and I destroy it a couple times >go to sleep >next day rolls around >bitches are so mad we ditched them >whatever.jpg >we go to universal studios that day >my girlfreind left her Id at the hotel room and Universal studios wouldn't let her in >they actually made a preety big deal about it >all the girls are panicking even the gay guy >omg wut are we gonna do we are helpless faggots >I handle shit like a man and am like watch this shit >hop back in a diffrent line without them notcing buy another ticket with my id. >The day is saved >My girlfriends really happy but all of her friends are like meh >yeahwhatever.jpg >they all know I don't like roller coasters. >WE SHOULD RIDE ROLLAR COASTERS SSFSLKFAGSGJ >goaheadguys. >her friends want to go ride the duelling dragons >the wait time for the ride says 20 mins >they go get in line
>>559339787 I gave her the key to the place and its where she'd go when she felt like suicide. Most of the time nothing happened and I just had to calm her down and she'd sleep in my arms.
>The letter read the following. "Dear alpaca (note-Idk why she called me that but she did) the last 3 months have more than made my life perfect, and I just want you to do one thing. Forgive me. Forgive me but never forgive him. For years Penguin and I have hung out together, enough that I felt safe around him. It looks like I was wrong. After he came over last night my dad left and I was raped. Yeah I know, it sounds like complete bullshit and something someone who cheated would say, but I promise you it isn't. I promise >dial 911 even though its useless, but I want her alive >she's cold when they arrive >a week later I get a report that she had trace amounts of a date-rape drug in her system >shewastellingthetruth.gif >begin to plot my revenge >he doesn't know that I know what he did, and the police don't know who Penguin is
>like 14/15 >crushes friend walks up to me >hey do you fancy ____? >in front of all my friends >"ehhh umm no" >oh because she fancies you >walks off >get extremely nervous and agitated >cant talk to crush anymore >end up forever alone
>>559344383 >so for some fucking dumb reason I hold all these girls purses while they go on this ride >I know i know I'm fucking retarted >I have like 7 purses on my shoulder >seriously >God dammit I feel awkward I look awkward, >i'm gonna get mugged >if i was gonna mug somebody >i would mug that guy with 7 purses >eh whatever its only 20 mins and this will be over >i sit down with my back agianst a wall and all the purses under my arm where i can watch the wait time for dueling dragons. >shit actaully goes down to 15 minutes. >then 10 minutes >yusthereisagod >to bad I sat there for a fucking hour and a half >yup a god damn hour and a half >people would walk by me and bust out in laughter >oh god dammit why me >such a beta faggot right now >where the hell is everyboyd >can't call any of the bitches because GO FIGURE THERE FUCKING PHONES THAT THEY LOVE SO MUCH WHERE ACTUALLY IN THE PURSES THIS TIME >thats actaully pretty strange >realise I have been tricked >holy fuck >those bitches ditched me >wow >so my girl and the gourp come back some hour and 45 minutes later from a place that is not on the side where you get out of dueling dragons. >I am pretty angry >but I keep my composure somewhat atleast >babe where the hell where you? >i thought something might have happened to you and i was concerned. >instead of her explainign what happend I was met back with anger from my girlfriend >wutthefewk.jpg >why is she mad?! >she starts arguing with me. >how the fuck could I possily be wrong in this conversation?? >all the girls take their purses back and we start walking. >they see another roller coaster >they all look at me >i'm like you guys can go but i'm not gonna hold anything for you this time >I already know whats going on >my girlfriend is still mad at me >they all buy lockers and leave for another 2 hours >i'm not even mad at my girl anymore >i mean fuck we are on vacation why even fight just get over it man
>>559320476 >be in 7th grade >new girl comes to school >qt3.14 9/10 >give her tour of school because alpha af >popular grills dont like her idk why >spread rumors she is a man/trap because she changes in lockerroom stall >im pretty popular >rumor spread i dating new girl >people make fun of me for it >i like grill a lot but scared of losing rep >she comes to say hi in front of friends >call her a freak and to fuck off >she cries and leaves as we all laugh >never talk since >mfw i gave a shit about school popularity
Not really a greentext story, but I'm starting to get a bit confused.
Girl I was sort of into throughout high school, we got on well, she dropped obvious hints, I was a social retard. Decided to try and get back in touch. >can't find her on facebook >no trace of her in friends facebook photos >notice yearbook >check yearbook. she's not fucking there.
Last one is the one that is seriously fucking with me. Either I've gone full retard and she left before graduation or I can't remember her last name. What the fuck.
Trying to find someone who doesn't have facebook is hard.
>>559346241 >girlfriend comes back and I go to hold her hand >she just leaves her hand limp and it becomes clear she is still mad at me >okayi'mdonenow >I just blow the fuck up guys >i'm like whatever fuck you then infront of all her friends >leave don't give a fuck if they find me or not >girlfriend somehow find me sitting somewhere >talks to me about it >I eplain to her that both her nd her friends are bitches and I'm just fucking done >I don't even care >she actually apologies >okay I guess if shes sorry then thats all there is to it i'll get over it too >so I failed to mention that the first thing I did when we got into universal studios was freak the fuck out about the at the time new 300 movie >what better place to see a badass movie? >shits at universal studios theater and the shit is IMAX and the time for the movie was after the rides closed. >I tell her if i get to do anything this trip that is the only thing I want to do >at the time her friends had overheard me say this >now we had just made up and there where litterally no other roller coasters to ride so the group starting doing other things. >at one point this girl suggest that they all go back to the hotel room and buy frozen. >these bitches where obsessed with frozen >did i mention the car ride down was 10 hours of the frozen soundtrack. >yeah >so they all freak out and my grilfriends just like hey i'm gonna go watch frozen with them after this ride back at the hotel room >guys. I just shut the fuck down >I didn't even really reply >so as we leave y girlfriend realizes how bothered i am and says "do you just want me to leave you alone?" >all i said was yes. thats the last fucking thing i said to anybody on the trip >the went and watched frozen in the other hotel room and I just did math homework >the next day we where supposed to leave and go staright hme but the other girls knew we where fighting at this point at took advantage of that
>>559347948 >so we stopped at every shopping mall and little stupid thing we possibly could in order to keep us fighting for as long as possible >turned a 10 hour card ride into like a 20. >we get back pull into the parking garage and my girlfriend just looks over at me and says extremely rudely "you know its over right?" >like in the bitchyest way possible >Idon'teven >whatthefuck >Ishouldbebreakingupwithyou.jpg >I had planned on breaking up with her as soon as we got back but she beat me to the punch. >I politely explained to her why I feel like thats a good idea >bitch lives on the same floor of my apartment >sees my all the time now and makes faces at me and goes "hmph" in a bitchy way when she walks by me. >shit fucking hurts man >when the times where good they where really good >what the fuck happend. >there is no god.
>>559348846 So a bunch of parts to basically say "she was bitchy when she was around her friends and it got really bad when I spent a few days in Disneyland with them all so we dumped each other kinda"? Brilliant way to spend an hour.
>>559348846 You know that you can.. you know, get a gf, a easy one and you know... Fuckherrightinthepussy.jpg so fucking hard at the point that this bitch hear you? That good sir, is my idea Also, that story bwahahahahahaha
>>559350240 Dude That is the first thing I thought of, like you don't even know. I would bring bitches over all the time. shes lives on the other of the floor so shes couldn't hear me fucking or anything though. so i would wait downstairs and be really flirty with them. EVERYTIME I DID THIS. she just didnt show up knowhere to be found. but its like everytime I'm having a bad day or I look stupid or i finnaly forget about it shes right there. god fucking dammit. I even brought 2 bitches back late one night and we got back from a rave Both girls had torn up clothing we where covered in paint the whole 9 yards that would make another girl jealous. still nowhere to be found
>be in 10th grade >still in my awkward phase >have crush on a girl, shes dating some other kid in my grade >they break up >we become actually very close friends >talk on aim all the time (jesus christ I'm dating myself here) >go to her party, flirt a lot >here friend at the party asked me if I liked her more than a friend >I panicked and said not really >godfuckingdamnit.jpg >see her at school the following week, shit is awkward >things were never the same >stop talking to each other altogether >shes married now >mfw when I went away to college and fucked over 10 different girls >marriage seems awful to me, no thanks
Well now that I'm done being an asshole, I suppose I can tell another story. I told it about a year or so ago but it's worth retelling.
>Be 21 >This girl and I have a history. She has a nickname but she didn't earn it until this particular story >Long story, basically when I was 19 and she was 18 I was hopelessly infatuated with her >Extreme beta, both of us virgins at the time >Nothing became of my crush, it was one-way and she was the manipulative type >We have a falling out and a couple years pass >I'm feeling lonely so I text her out of the blue to see how she's doing >She's having a rough time. Dog recently died, recently single, et cetera >"Oh dang, I'm so sorry. I can actually relate, my dog also died (true) and I'm fairly newly single as well (also true). Maybe we can catch a movie and catch up?" >"That sounds great, Anon" >February 22nd, I go pick her up >Stupid thing, but when I was 15 I declared February 22nd to be National Fellate [Anon] Day >I mention as such, she laughs and smiles slyly >We flirt a lot, something we never really did back then (neither of us are virgins at this point, so we're a lot less afraid of humping than we were at the time) >We see movie, that shitty horror remake with Harry Potter in it >She hates scary movies and holds my hand the whole time >Actually lose feeling in three fingers for about 30 minutes. It was cute at first but dammit I need those >Movie over >Take her back to her place >She invites me in >Booyah
>>559355346 >We sit on the couch together >The INSTANT my ass hits the cushion >*ruuuurghlblrughblugghrrhrrruuuuugh* >ohgodfuckmystomach >Boy I hope she didn't hear that >She's looking directly at me >"Do you need to use the bathroom, Anon?" >God dammit >I go to the toilet, drop trou, let loose >Unbelievable hellfire >Smells like a corpse >Burns like a volcano >So much force I'm pretty sure I attained liftoff >Toilet water looks like liquified Doritos >In between bursts of magmashit, I can hear her >On the floor above me >In the bathroom >Shitting equally as violently >I finally finish with a final, odoriferous sputter >Clean up, wash hands, flush toilet, no mess, no clogs, no problems >We flush at the same time >We meet on the stairs >Make eye contact >Awkward, vaguely smelly silence for a few seconds >"I think you should go" >"Yeah I think so too"
I haven't talked to her in about three years now. The earned nickname is appropriately Diarrhea Girl
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