>>556786331 > be in 6th grade in a schoolbus > on my way back from field trip to UCSB > sitting with my mother because nobody else wanted to sit next to me > suddenly need to shit real badly > fuck it i'll hold it only half an hour drive > nope Los Angeles traffic makes it more like three hours > can't hold it in any longer so i tell my mom > she gives me a bag and uses her sweater as a curtain for privacy > proceed to shit in bag > one of the bag's flaps folds in so shit spills over on to the seat > all kids complain about smell
The worst part was that it wasn't even solid shit, it was one of the most watery diarrhea i've ever produced.
>19 years old >make hardcore chiptunes for fun >get asked to play at an anime convention >wear really ugly, thick suspenders for no good reason >chiptuners get pushed to a back room where there's a tent party >play my hardcore music >get in the tent and tell them it's live >my chiptune friend backs me up >"he's telling you this because they're very hard to make" >I try to make a joke >"my penis is very small"
>>556789008 Yes I'm pretty sure people actually new about this, I had to wait until everybody got off the bus first and I was sitting in the front seat. I had the sweater on my lap and I stank of shit. Plus the shit that hit the floor and wet the kids shoes behind me. >>556789046 Not any that I knew of but I probably did. I was about 12 years old. I was never a bus driver.
Had a website in 8th grade, where I uploaded a long ass shitty poem for this 9th grade chick who I never met and texted all the time and confessed my "love" to and was too beta to say anything. Oh, and one night I asked this random guy on facebook how to go about getting her to like me, and the guy turned out to be her boyfriend, who I had to see at a distant family reunion thing later that night. Words can't express the cringe of my 8th and 9th grade years.
>First day of secondary school >Arrange to meet friends beforehand, all walk up together >Miscommunication, they get there at quarter to the hour, leave because I'm late, I get there at quarter past >Wait til half past (when I should be at school) before setting off >Work myself up about being really late on first day, end up crying >Burst into form room, crying, begging not to be expelled, in front of my new classmates
It was a long time before they forgot about that one.
>13 years old >had good girl buddy >secret love >she is leaving, so i hug her from behind >feel her butt with my dick >massive hard on >feelsgoodman.jpg >anon what are you doing? >huging you for goodbye >i must leave, anon mfw she felt my boner on her butt
>Sister is starting casual conversation. >Says, "Anon, ever realise girls in the future will get sluttier even younger?" >Chuckle and get ready for reply. >it's in my head. >Turn to her and just say, "I don't want to think about that because then that would make me a pedophile" >FUCKTHEPOLICE.JPG >turn to her; "I don't want to think about that.." >SHIT I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY. ABORT ABORT ABORT "Because by then, I would be a pedophile.." >HAH- WAIT, WHAT?" >Spaghetti river below my feet. >she stares on and leaves the room. MFW she still doesn't talk to me. MFW I ruined my relationship with my sibling over a word mix up. MFW I'm not even a pedophile.
>rolling hard in children's play park for some reason >me and mate see someone we know little scruffy cunt > loved up invite him back to my house >he asks if he can bring his friends I agree >enter house to find grandparents and parents >I'm with 13 strangers they don't know gurning my tits off
>>556795791 Are you me? >Be 14 >Be in last lesson >Girls has a 10/10 ass >she bends over in front of my table >Fully erect >Without thinking, I thrust my erect cock into her ass >Silence >ohfuck.jpg >Teacher sends me out of lesson and get sent to head office >Known as butt love for the remainder of my teenage years
> be 13 > start visiting a spanish website called cuantocabron (spanish 9gag) (this in itself is cringeworthy) > very hard to get one rage comic published on the main page > I get six of them on there > tell all my friends through Tuenti (a spanish social network nobody uses nowadays) as a profile status > all this happening during the summer > start making memes of each one of my classmates and upload them on Tuenti. One of these 'cool guys' makes memes himself and sends them to me so that I put them on Tuenti too > spam the entire social network with memes and rage comics about trivial moments I found funny. This 'cool guy' and his friend tell me through private messages how funny these are > school starts > I'm so obsessed with memes I shout them out loud in real life > shout during class for some other trivial moment, "everything went better than expected" (in english, not in spanish) > Think my teacher didn't hear me, but she did and stared at me without saying anything for some 20 seconds > say "Oh god why" > everyone is staring at me with their mouths shut > when the classes end everyone starts to talk about how annoying I am with memes, shouting them out loud (and since I live in spain, shouting stuff out loud in english makes it worse), spamming Tuenti all the time. Get called a try-hard and a nerd > realize fucking nobody used Tuenti anymore and they were all seeing solely what I uploaded because they received notifications through their mobiles (yes, years ago 13-year-olds had mobiles, this doesn't seem to be true in some other countries afaik) > everyone laughed at me the entire summer for uploading all the shit to Tuenti through whatsapp which I didn't even have installed, so I didn't realize they were laughing at me > I say, "well, (the two cool guys) liked my stuff, you just don't get my humor" in front of a very crowded area where they were too > they say they were trolling me and that it was never funny > everyone starts laughing > I run away crying
>>556784525 >best friend had a movie maker on his Mac in the 7th grade >we make 5+ videos >all about as good as you'd expect >90% us playing with slo mo and sound effects >Youtube becomes big the year after we start >he makes channel >videos get no views >he deletes forever from internet in high school >I'm upset >looking back, probably the nicest thing he's ever done for me
>got drunk once with a girl >made out with her and shit >fast forward 1 month >i was feeling lonely so i decided to go drink with some friends before school (we were planning to miss the class that day) >got really drunk >started crying like a fag >stopped crying >decide i got to go to school >enter in school completely drunk >find this girl (she was my crush back then) >start talking shit with ther >whole class realises i'm drunk >at home, not drunk >feels like shit because of it >tfw i did the same think 3 more times again At least in the end of the year i will move to another city and start a new life.
>Be 5 >Have friend where I knew him for the first 10 years of my life >Being 5 we did stupid shit >Started a thing called wiener doctors >We fondled each others dicks >We also licked each others asses >mfw I think back on this >One day his mom comes up stairs yelling about snacks being ready or some shit >It's been a full 30 seconds and I still can't get my fucking pants on >Mom comes in room >Sees me deer in headlights with my pants mostly on >Rolls her eyes and walks out >mfw it gets worse later on in life I got a lot of stories about me and this mother fucking guy if anyone's interested
> be 8 > have a crush for this girl called Alexa > be playing mario kart wii > play against some girl named "Alexa" > her Mii looks like the girl I had a crush for > be playing all the time until she leaves > next day on school > my friends knew I had an obsession with mario kart wii > tell Alexa while she's with friends that she's a good racer in the game > she doesn't understand what I'm talking about > tell her I was "Pro9999vr" and that I played against her yesterday in said game > she says she doesn't have a Wii > realize it was a complete stranger > oh... it must have been someone else then > she starts laughing along with her friends loudly > tells everyone > be made fun of for years
>be 13 >be smaller than the rest >even younger kids tease me >christmas comes >turn 14 >suddenly enter puberty >grow huge >neither me nor the younger kids realise it >one of them teases me and hits me >he is 3 years younger >lose my temper >throw him on the floor >start hitting him >other friends seperate me >i almost start crying
Didn't realise it back then but later on i realised how cringe worthy it was
>be me >13 year old california kid >Not fit but handsome >Go to Baptist church and always alone with PAR-tick-u-lar lass >Wanted so bad to kiss her >start dating >Mom brings me and her on a speical weekend to a bowling tourny I was in >2 and half hours into the drive she starts pointing out the window >I look and don't see anything I ask her what she was pointing at >It was a moment before the vomit started spraying me in the face that I realized she was going to be sick >Lose bowling tourny,covered in vomit,head home disappoint >Try to get over vomit situation but can't >want to break up with her but 13 yr old me is a pussy >Talk to my mom about it >She says she'll do it for me >MFW my mom broke up with my girl friend for me.
>>556796864 It gets better. Weeks before, she borrowed my laptop to buy shit. Finished a raid on /mlp/. (Don't ask). Had ruse image that was a gif of shovel dog. >>She found it. I'm planning on leaving the country. My family think I'm an animal abusing kiddy diddler.
>>556799234 another one with Alexa: > be 8 > she enters the class > I stare at her > drool > this girl is next to a fat ugly bitch called Miriam > typical asshole notices what I'm doing > he thinks I have a crush for Miriam instead of Alexa > shouts "OH OH GUYS LOOK! ANON LOVES MIRIAM LOOK AT HIM" > stop staring at the girl, put a weird face while I look at him > what? > they start telling people individually about my crush for the fat girl Miriam > everyone believes them > people don't forget about that day until they notice about my next crush years later
>Be in San Antonio,TX >Military convention >Get sent on vacation essentially >Higher ranking Sgt wants to hit the river walk >Its packed >We are pounding beers >Everyone else goes home and its just me and him drunk as hell walking the river walk >We become irish >Irish accents the rest of the night >Talking to random girls trying to get laid >O shit Sgt is setting up a threeway with this chick >I'm down >Turns out its a hooker >Realize now she is ugly >Back to room all drunk with Dennys >Not sure where I got Dennys but its hot so it must be fresh >Ate that shit up
>>556799991 Ok >So we will call this other guy "J" >As a kid I lived right next to J so we were good friends >But this guy could hold no secrets >One day when he is 8 or something he tells his parents about wiener doctors >His parents talk to mine >Parents start to have a sexual conversation with me >mfw they give me a fucking sex ed book >Get mad at J for being a pussy and not holding secrets >Later, like 6 months or something J in standing next to me and he says >"Wiener doctors.... we sure were dumb >Me: "Yeah" That's it with the weird sex shit with J, but I had more around 8 with other people. Also I had overall shenanigans with J, one of them involving me stealing his FEZ candy canister and hiding under my bed >What am I going to do hide under there forever?
>Be 12 yr old me >In Middle school >I finally understand what my boner means >Start getting butter flys for girls >This one girl I want to kiss so bad >She is pretty and an awesome kissable face you know like has lips and braces >End of year approaches >Best friend is the coolest kid in class >everyone else thinks I'm lame >I was a chubby beta so yeh I was lame >I try to sneak into the picture >"anon you can't be in this picture" >"Your not cool enough" >I start to hold back tears half way >Just walking off all slow like >Everyone else agrees except My Best friend >He said he wasn't going to be in the picture unless I was in it >They all agree to let me be in it Thanks Mike wherever you're at
>>556800809 > weeks later > during class > alexa and miriam (who weren't friends anyways) were playing together with a Nintendo DS > they are caught, the class stops, everyone stares at the teacher punishing them > both Alexa and Miriam stand up to quit the class > I want to defend Alexa and say she did nothing > stand up, be right next to both Alexa and Miriam > look at the teacher and the class and say, "she did nothing, I was staring at them" > don't realize "she" can be either Alexa or Miriam > everyone thinks I'm defending Miriam because they think I had a crush on her > and I just admitted to stare at her during class > kids laugh so hard even the teacher joins them > start crying
I meant to bring the cute girl back into play at the end of the story because she was one of the ones that just agree'd definativly that I shouldn't be in the picture but instead I'm high so just deal with it I guess. Thanks guys in advance
>>556784525 >Be 11 >Camping with the whole grade, like 80 kids >Be tall, neither fat nor skinny and socially akward >Two dudes attack me for no reason >wrestle one down >the other one fucking jumps on me hard >I fart the loudest fart I've ever let out my rectum >20 girls watching the event start laughing their asses off >My face is the same colour as bananas, but red >I rush to my tent and stay there for the rest of the trip
>>556784525 >be teen me (15 or so) >work at kids summer camp as counselor >pool time nigga >get in "deep end" >5 feet of water >6 foot tall me stands there because lazy dont wanna play with kids >kids see me and think I'm a fucking post for them to hold on to so they dont drown >mfw when the camp is mostly 9 year old girls >britfag swims to me "anon I need a break" >wraps her legs around my waist and keeps her hands off > isthiswhatfitwastrainingmefor?.jpeg >boner rising like the challenger >pokes 9 year old butts >she doesnt notice im hoping >sorta near actual wall >supervisor walks over >"anon do you have a moment?" >THESPAGHETTISOUTNOW.png cont?
Britfag here >be 14 >there's a fucking hipsterish gay kid called Jake >says he's bisexual for attention from girls >never been out with a guy >gettin all da pussay myjimbobsareflustered.avi >one day I finally muster up all my courage and autistic bravery >go up to the best looking girl in year, wouldflyplaneintobuildingsfor72ofher/10 >h...hey femanon >Oh, hi anon >Uhh so I was wondering whether you ever wanted to go out sometime LAUGHS IN MY FUCKING FACE >TELLS HER FRIENDS LAUGH IN MY FACE >Ha, sorry anon, I'm going out with Jake. maximumrustled.exe >had enough of his shit >go up to him >he's telling some girls about how he feels so oppressed and shit >you're not fucking bisexual >he turns to me and all the girls gasp >have a massive rant about how he does it for attention >OH MAH GHOD, UR OPRESIN MEH >IM SO OPRESED AND BISXAL >if you're bisexual, then you won't mind me touching your balls thisistrueautism >girls turn to him >f..fi.......fine >I grab his fucking nuts like there's no tomorrow >I grab his hand and press it to my nuts >he doesn't mind >really fucking awkward twenty seconds before I realise >turn 360 degrees and walk away >mfw he turned out to be a full on homo a few years later
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