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>tfw no bf

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 133
Thread images: 30

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>tfw no bf
>>
Post tits.
>>
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>mfw no tits
>>
pls be in london
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show them tits girl
>>
>>556562993
Bareth thine mammaries, or make hasty egress.
>>
>>556563471
you got high expectations, mate.
>>
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>>556562993
>>
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be my gf ;)
>>
OP is a trap or crossdresser. There will be no tits
>>
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>>556562993
...
>>
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>>556564115
even better
>>
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>>556562993
>>
yeah must be really hard for a girl to get a bf. it's not like you can go out to clubs alone and have lots of guys hit on you or anything
>>
>>556562993
You must be ugly as fuark
>>
>>556564245
maybe she's a hot shutin
>>
>>556562993
How far over 200lbs are you, OP?
>>
>>556563941
Timestamp?
>>
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Maybe if you showed your God damn tits as you know is expected you wouldn't be forced to shove household objects up your quim while watching the notebook for a romantic evening!

And Jesus... I worry about where my mind is going. Here. Have a slut. Smart money says she ain't alone for the holidays.
>>
>>556564245
she's probably a land whale, and you are a neckbeard basement dweller, am i not right?
>>
It's honestly REALLY easy to get a bf as long as you look decent and there's nothing really wrong with you. Not even gonna lie. I haven't been single for years. Haven't gone more than a year without having a bf and that was by choice. I'm 28 now and it's been ten years since my first bf. I've had at least 15 guys fuck me and I didn't even try that hard. Never even went to clubs or anything. If you don't have a boyfriend you either have something wrong with you, are too young, or you are ugly. End of story.
Pic related, it's me and my fiance. He buys me pretty much anything I want.
>>
>>556564871
Nice ID.
>>
>>556563941
Groovy wood paneling basement.
MLP blanket in background.
hm....
>>
>>556565019
says the 30 year old kissless virgin fapping to girltears
>>
>>556564934
even land whales get approached. i know because i used to go out with two land whale friends of mine. and they certainly got approached

now i don't have friends anymore. i figured it was better to have none than only land whales
>>
bait.jpg
>>
>>556565019
"He buys me pretty much anything I want" And there you have it /b/ros, what all women REALLY care about. All about the fucking wallet!
>>
>>556565243
it's true, as long as you are decent looking and go outside or at the very least communicate with ppl online with the purpose of finding someone, you can find someone

its far easier for woman
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>>556565342
Oh we do. Look at my fat ass. That man loves it.
>>
>>556565101
nice id
>>
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>>556562993
Hi! few things to start off with =] 1. yes I responded to you because you're a female on 4chan, 'tis an awesome thing to see! 2. I'm Brian. 3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen.
>>
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OP is clearly a dude, and hasn't even posted in the thread.

Yet faggots are still posting advice on how OP can find a boyfriend, as if they've ever even been one.

>mfw
>>
>>556565486

yeah she went directly to money. she didn't say "I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. HE'S A GREAT GUY"

instead she goes "he buys me stuff"
>>
>>556565579
You forgot to xD dude
>>
>>556565019
good lord this is high quality b8
>>
>>556565579
OMG are you ok or what?
>>
>>556565019
this gotta be bait.
>>
>>556565101
Dat ID
>>
>>556562993
tfw you have gf, but you still want a cute trap to suck your dick on sundays
>>
>>556565579
Ayy lmao
>>
>>556565486
Actually I was kind of just saying what you were expecting to hear. I didn't think anyone on 4chan deserved to hear how I really feel about my relationship with my fiance. Nor would you fags probably want to hear about it anyway.
>>
>>556565643
My g/f at the moment is all like "You never buy me anything" I'm like "And what the fuck do you ever buy me?!" Equal rights now biatch deal with it!
>>
I'd fuck a fat or ugly chick.

IDC the only thing that is a no go is severely obese or unhygienic.
>>
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>>556565019
mfw i'm pretty impressed with google's reverse image search. it didn't find a source but it fucking managed to determine that it is Cinderella castle at disney world.

if you fags aren't impressed you can go fuck yourselves
>>
>>556565019
i think you mean it's easy to get a fat and balding bf. obviously it's easy to fuck ugly people
>>
>>556565963
if you are the one working and she isn't then she should show you respect and appreciate she doesn't have to work

if she does work then she has her own money to spend
>>
It's really a beautiful story actually...
>>
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>>556565904

kill it with fire
>>
>>556565579
if this wasnt a copy pasta, and you actually made one yourself, you could have made it a 9/10. sadly i rate 5/10 nice bait, but lacks originality.
>>
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>>556566149
>>
>>556565904
how do women like themselves go THAT much

you'd have to be sitting in filth shoving your face 24/7
>>
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>>556565904
No you're right we wouldn't so...
>>
>>556565342
well i live in a small country and there arent so many desperate guys (or atleast they dont go clubbing) and ive never seen anyone with fetish for fat women. I only see fat grils make out with really drunk men, but there is still a limit, never seen a true land whale with someone
>>
>>556562993

i'd say you'd need at least ONE trait from the below to get a bf. ain't that hard really:

1. good figure (do be honest)

2. intelligent (yfw come /b/ to greentext? we'd better skip this option eh?)

3. capable of love (able to love YOURSELF, first and foremost)

4. secure about self (goes hand in hand with no. 3 i think, but see no. 2... let's skip these)

5. great talent for a particular passion or hobby (nope, nope, MLP, sonikku, pogaymon don't count, i mean something proper like playing a piano, art, or even joining a chess club would be good)

nothing's as attractive as loving yourself and being secure with yourself, so i'd recommend gunning for those options.

need to know how? /b/ is not here to stroke your ego. GOOGLE it if you must.
>>
>>556566090
She works, spends all her money then wants at mine and I'm like "fuck no!"
>>
This is your daily reminder that I am a faggot.

I know you care.
>>
>>556566657
lol, not your fault she sucks at saving
>>
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I had a girlfriend once. In fact, I had a fiancée. She was my everything. I loved her like no one ever did and none ever could. I shared my first kiss with her. I lost my virginity to her. I proposed to her and changed all my hopes, plans, goals, and dreams to fit her. I gave her my everything. We had picked out a townhouse to rent and already knew our kids' names: the son would be after my namesake and the daughter, she'd be Sophia. It means "wisdom" in Greek, a virtue blessing in the hopes that she could be everything we were not.

I spent all my money on her. Every last cent. I pampered her, waited on her, and gave her everything she wanted, or at least tried. I gave her massages whenever she was hurting; I pleasured her before I was pleased, or made sure to do so right afterward; I catered to her every whim and did all I could to bring out that lovely smile upon her angelic face. She was my muse, my purpose. She was all my dreams come to life, my joy personified, the symbol of my happiness. I loved her too much, though, and my life fell apart around me during my dedication to her. As I stood atop the crumbled ruins that was my former life, I hoped to rebuild it with her. But she was nowhere to be found.

It's been a month. I miss her every day.
>>
>>556566640

oh wait forgot 6. be attractive (like i don't know, just pretty or beautiful)
>>
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>>556565904
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>>556566746
My point exactly /b/ro!
>>
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>>556562993
>mfw same god damn tranny every week
>>
>>556566758
Faggot.
>>
>>556566434
HAHAH! It's funny how you think you know everything. There's a variety of reasons why a women would gain weight. It's also funny how you all think you can 'rise above' being a regular person with problems. But yet here you are. On fucking 4chan. Going back to the YLYL threads for a good chuckle now. Have fun being alone and unfulfilled the rest of your life. I'll go back to my soulmate now.
>>
>>556566758

sorry bro. sounds a bit like one of my experiences.

but my outcome was different, i grabbed the reins and one day said this has to fucking stop.

cue unhealthy 2-year 'relationship' where it was on again off again and just fucking painful for both of us.

OP, you are in a better life trajectory now, you gotta have faith and keep at it. in fact, i think over time you'll be glad this happened; now you can truly love yourself.
>>
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>>556567075
>>
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>>556566758
>pic related xDDD
>>
>>556566758
>I spent all my money on her. Every last cent. I pampered her, waited on her, and gave her everything she wanted, or at least tried.

yeah that's where you went wrong you beta fucking retard. step up
>>
>>556566758
If I didn't know any better, I'd literally think I was the one who typed this.

4 months now. It's nothing like it was in the first month. None the less, it's not any better either.
>>
>>556567075
Guess what?
>>
>>556562993
/r/ing that one pic where it shows what happens when a a guy and a girl both say tfw no gf/bf.

the girl's side was fucking hilarious and is probably what's going to happen to you
>>
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>>556567114
>>556567341
>>556567473
>2014
>reading & responding 2 pasta
>>
>>556567114
I'm not OP, so I hope you aren't referring to me in that last sentence.

We were together for four years. It was the happiest four years of my life, despite all the pain and problems she brought me. Before her, at least I had me. When I was with her, at least I had her. Now that she's gone, I have nothing, not even myself. I lost that long ago. It's going to take a long time for me to recover from this. And even if I do, I'll never stop loving her. And I hate that I do.

>>556567473
Falling too deep in love with her and losing myself in the process is where I went wrong, not spending money on her. I did that of my own free volition and would do it all over again. But the day I lost myself, I lost her. And now, I have neither.
>>
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>>556567075
Actually the science behind why people gain weight is ironclad. You'd have to be eating more than you need everyday for several months. You lack even a modicum of willpower.

Who cares if I go to 4chan, so are you. Anyway, at least i'm not fat. take care of yourself or your bf is going to cheat on you one day. then you'll blame it on men or "i couldn't help being fat! it's genetics!" bullshit excuse

ride a bike. eat 1700 calories daily.
>>
>>556566758
screen shotted
>>
>>556567742
Don't call something that I just fucking typed "copypasta." Unless you've seen it before, don't call something pasta just because you might "suspect" it is.

Go fuck yourself.
>>
>>556567837
You don't need a woman to be a fucking man, grow a pair and stand tall!
>>
>>556565243
Dat ID
>>
>>556568025
Aight nigger
here's how this is gonna go down

u gonna get a PoF account a d u gonna make a profile and hit up every chick u can. then u gunn take em to a cheap coffee place for dates and then u gonna fuck em.

it will take u literally a month to get over ur "love" as you will see you were dating something so ugly and imperfect that its mind blowing.


or. u can sit in ur basement and grow a beard.
>>
>>556568038
That's where you're wrong. Humans crave intimacy and romance. Even the most corrupt, sociopathic degenerate has the same basic desire to have someone to love, and who loves them. It's a fallacy to believe you don't need someone else. Our entire lives are built around that very goal, whether we believe it or not. You can survive without anyone, but eventually you'll need someone to share your life with, whether that's family, friends, or a lover. In the end, though, we all crave that intimacy and connection only found in the closest of friendships and strongest of loves. To deny this is to deny your very nature.
>>
>>556566758
copypasta or not you're a little ass bitch
>>
SAID NO WOMAN EVER
>>
>>556568505
So you just confirmed what I said, you DON'T NEED A WOMAN... Go out with your /b/ros, fuck some bar skanks make yourself feel better! Better than being a whiny bitch about it.
>>
>>556568447
Right now, I'm working on the latter, substituting "basement" with "my room."

Sex means nothing to me without intimacy and romance. I have no interest in fucking, only making love. I can't even muster the courage or find the moral grounds to have sex with someone unless I have strong feelings for them. This may seem foolish, and sometimes I wish this wasn't the case, but it's true. Unless I love her, I simply can't bring myself to sharing my body with her. Sex means more to me than just carnal entertainment.
>>
>>556563941
Tits or GTFO bitch.
>>
>>556568995
Seriously... this...
>>
>>556565101
dat ID
>>
>>556568995
>Sex means more to me than just carnal entertainment.
is that why you spend 10 hours a week fapping to porn
>>
>>556568995
same.

many people don't get it but I have to have feelings for someone before I want sex with them.

>>556569857

Porn isn't reality.
>>
>>556568995
to be quite honest I am the same way. sex with out feelings is nothing but a waste of energy.

you know how I forego the issue? I pretend to love them... yes it does sound dumb, but it works. Say u meet a girl off PoF, she's cute, interesting, you focus on her positives. u fuck the shit out of her, telling her how beautiful and tight she is. then, a month or two down the road, the veil falls, and you start seeing her flaws. at that point you move on to the next one. the cycle repeats.

women are cunts bro. they don't love. the more u give, the less they reciprocate.
go Goole red pill +reddit. your eyes will be opened up.

and Ffs, at least hit the gym for the endorphins u ugly piece of Shit.
>>
>>556569857
Of course I still have urges. I still sexually crave certain people. I find others attractive and I imagine having sex with them. The actual ACT of sex, however, is important to me. Having sex and imagining it are very distinct activities. When it's in my mind, I'm sharing with only me, myself, and I. When it's with another, it's sharing something intimate and sacred with them, well sacred to me.

Masturbating is just a form of sexual gratification and release, but again I'm not sharing with anyone. Sex with someone is something important to me, though, and the only way for me to do it without feeling shame and self-betrayal afterward is to do it with someone with whom I connect on an emotional level.

Otherwise, I'd just hire prostitutes and have casual sex instead of beating my meat.

>>556570356
You had me until the misogynist shit. Sorry, I don't subscribe to assuming the worst in the nature of females.
>>
>>556562993
Marry me pls respond
>>
>>556567837

my bad, referring to you not OP. slippy.

kamoonnnnn. i know the way you feel.

take a long time to recover, yep. give it say 2 years. gonna be hell.

do yourself a favour. tomorrow, text your family members you undoubtedly alienated or spent less time seeing because your life revolved around her, say what's up, just wanted to catch up.

THEN, text up a few buddies and check out what they're up to on friday. get out there. because there's nothing in here for you.

at the beginning its gonna feel vapid and stupid, when you go to a club, you'll say wtf is the music so loud, i hate this place. when you go to a bar, you'll drink yourself pissed. when you go to the woods for a hike, you'll feel like squishing every bug. so take it easy, its not gonna be a miracle, like i said, give yourself a year or two man. but you gotta at least make an effort. LIVE man.
>>
>>556567075
>soulmate
>hairless version of you

pick one please.
>>
>>556567742

the dude did mention its been a month. i wouldn't be surprised if he's been moping around /b/ for the past few weeks now actually.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vpYYp2Fcos
>>
>>556571373
I have been. I have posted a similar story, albeit typed differently every time, at least 3 other times in the past few days.
>>
>>556570736

oh yea, what >>556570356 said. hit the gym, take up a sport, do something to move around. hiking did the trick for me.
>>
>>556562993
>tfw no bearmode bf no homo
>>
>>556571612
>misogyny

people like you make me so fucking mad. you stupid ass omega.
girls take advantage of you. they think they are better than you. they make u pay for them. then they dump you.

this isn't the fucking 80s anymore. the new generation only cares for themselves.

learn or die
fucking vagina breath. I wish I could take all the advice I typed out back.
>>
>>556565904
no, no one wants to hear about your disgusting sham of a marriage. no one likes you. GTFO my /b
>>
>>556572732
People like you make me mad, too. You presume the motives and actions of others based off the fallacious experiences and misgivings in your own pathetic life. Well, like I said, I don't subscribe to the cynical, hateful view of women that you endorse. I'm sorry you've had negative experiences, but I pity you for interpreting these experiences as reasons to hate women. I've had bad experiences myself, but I have LEARNED from them, learned things about myself (and not assumed beliefs of the opposite sex), not utilize them as fuel to support my hatred.

Go back to >>>/pol/ or >>>/r9k/. They'll circlejerk and perpetuate your misogyny as far as you're willing to take it. Just be sure to see a psychiatrist before you decide to shoot up a dormitory, okay?
>>
>>556573427
haaaaahahhahahahaha
oh man. ohhhhh man

>assumptions

Aight buddy. I'm out to gym lol. Enjoy all of the female power relationships you are going to have in future.

Also, remember this thread when you find out she has cheated on you with a real man :)

all the best my little omega friend ;)
>>
>>556572732
>>556573427

different worldviews, that's all we are. but this sounds like it would be a fun topic to duke out over a couple beers in a bar.

H6XFAsomething, do consider that, get some of the estranged mates out to a beer this Friday, or humpday (thats wednesday if you've been out of it too long).

long journey to self healing begins with self love. but before that, beer!
>>
>>556574376
Funny story about alcoholism and my relationship, or rather former relationship troubles. Care to hear it?
>>
>>556574548

go for it
>>
>>556574889
Alright. Bump. I'm typing it out.
>>
>>556573427
Jesus Christ this. Goddammit /b/, you're so sad.
>>
>>556575614

we are :(
>>
boomp
>>
>>556574889
I should preface that by "funny," I meant "sad and strange," not "comedic." Sorry.

I used to be against alcohol consumption. I didn't mind if other people drink, but I was never interested in it. You see, I always prized my brain above all else. I always wanted to learn, to experience and grow. Feeding my brain was more important to me than feeding body. I was one of those people who "studied for fun." You know, the bookworm autodidact who was always checking out nonfiction in the school library; the guy who was reading philosophy and psychology and history while everyone else was reading about teen vampire romances and urban legends. You get the picture. Anyway, I was against personally drinking alcohol because I knew it is tied to slower cognitive processing, which is an aspect in determining IQ and processing speed. So it was a big no-no for me.

Plus, I secretly knew I would enjoy its effects too much. I was diagnosed with chronic major depression and my parents were heavy drinkers, though not necessarily alcoholics, back in the day. Needless to say, I was prone to alcoholism as a result.

Before I met her, my life revolved around my mind: knowledge, wisdom, and learning and all that. After I met her, my life revolved around her. I neglected my hobbies, my interests... I stopped reading books and started reading her messages. I stopped learning about history and started learning hers. I stopped studying how the mind works and started studying what made her tick. She was my new interest, my muse, my life and joy. Being a cerebral, introverted hermit that I was, this sort of emotional connection and devotion was foreign, but exhilarating to me. It was like a whole new aspect of life I never knew.

>>CONTINUED<<

(still typing)
>>
bamp
>>
>>556565856
I can be that qt3.14 trap
>>
>>556565101
you just won the "best ID" thread we're having
>>
>>556576571

here you go sir

>>556555761

btw how do i link to that thread? >> won't work i remember.
>>
>>556576874

whoops, just did it i guess . bump.
>>
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>>556574208
you should shoot up a sorority while you're out
>>
>>556576403
What does this have to do with alcohol? Well, she had drank in her past, got a bit drunk at times. She wasn't against it and saw alcohol as lubrication for the tongue and a life-bringer to any social occasion. She was right in a way, and I respected that, but I was never interested in drinking personally. After some convincing, though, I'd try it out, if only for her. I made her promise me, though, to only drink with me and I'll only drink for her. You see, she wasn't the wisest or luckiest person; she frequently made mistakes and poor decisions. She was abused and very insecure, always seeking the attention of others to satiate her own self-doubts. To try and prevent any possible mistakes due to the "liberating" effects of alcohol she so enjoyed, I made her promise to only drink with me. She later broke this promise before we even drank together for the first time, but I trusted her still.

We finally met up and drank together. She was a lightweight; two shots of Bacardi rum and she was near-drunk. As for me, though, I could handle my alcohol quite well (though my bowels couldn't, thanks to IBS). We had a fun time together and though I hate the taste of alcohol—it was light drinking lighter fluid—the effects were peculiarly intriguing. Anyway, I always reveled in new experiences, good or bad.

>>CONTINUED<<
>>
>>556567075
>"There's a variety of reasons why a women would gain weight"
She's right
>eating too many burgers
>eating too many fries
>eating too many tacos
>eating too many sandwiches
>drinking too many soda
>...
I can't even list it all up.
>>
>>556562993
I don't believe you're a girl.
Aaand if it turns out you ARE one, i DO believe that you're swamp-beast-level ugly.
>>
>>556576403

also, its rather wordy, i do get the picture, but greentext may be better.

for those faggots seeing this on page 1, landwhale bf-less OP has abandoned.

this is now a completely different thread... not gonna tldr it sorry.
>>
>>556573427
You're such a beta, enjoy being a sexless white knight.
>>
>>556567989
Link to vid please!
>>
>>556577264
She's been gone now for over a month and I've gotten drunk at least once in that time. I knew this would happen, that I'd begin drinking a lot if she ever left me, but I trusted that day would never come. Well, it did, and now all I want to do is drink my sorrows away. In the end, though, all it does is bring back the memories. Yet even that is better comparable to feeling a numbing nothingness inside. So now, with her gone, I drink. I don't care about nurturing my brain, about becoming learned and intelligent and wise... I gave up my reclusive ways for her, tried my best to be an extrovert like her. Now, with my life in tatters and the very person for whom I let it all fall apart long gone, I have nothing, not even myself. I have no friends, hardly any family, and no happiness to boot. I have nothing except a bottle of whiskey (or whatever I could get for the day) and memories that won't stop playing over and over again in my mind.

Long story short, I drink a lot now. And I do it, indirectly, because of her.

>>556577506
Yeah I know, sorry. I kind of lose myself in my memories some times. Rereading what I typed, I said a whole lot of nothing. I apologize for that.
>>
>>556577650
Well at least he can be happy in his delusions, rather than painfully aware of the reality of his sad sexless existence like myself.

I WISH i was that dumb.
>>
>>556577834
What delusions?

>>556576403
>>556577264
>>556577796
Wow, that story was really shitty. Maybe I should keep this mopey stuff to myself.
>>
>>556577834
/b/ro PoF take them out, fuck them. Go home, play video games or watch a movie. Do whatever YOU want.
>>
>>556562993
buy a dildo
>>
>>556577796

don't have to apologise.

you do need to get it off your chest anyway.

my honest take?

you're putting too much on her. you just ended your story with, "because of her".

i had a similar phase, so i guess i can understand, drinking because bad stuff happened in the past, etc. its easy to put the blame on that. my wake up call was 2 accidents i had - that's when i realised its time to get my shit together, my drinking is not a result of anything aside from my conscious decision to wallow in my own misery and memories.

i guess whatever shit i'll type here's not gonna help much, i know back then any good advice hurled at me, i'd use it to wipe my tears of sorrow and then proceed to shit on it and savour the smell of my shit on good advice and revel in the self pity. you got lots of work ahead of you mate, but take baby steps, the imporant thing is you DO make an effort.

hardly any family -> even more reason to stay in touch, even if its unpleasant at first.

no friends -> sure you do. you just never bothered to keep in touch, just never bothered to put in any effort to keep the relationship going because your life revolved around this one connection you had that felt was all that mattered. if you do reach out to old connections, and be gracious about it, you just may be pleasantly surprised. nothing to lose, right? if you didn't care about them before and now they don't care about you, it shouldn't matter anyway.

take a first baby step and reach out to those around you. since you've started drinking, don't drink alone. good socialising crutch.

think a couple of us on this post have already given you the different viewpoints. now the question is, do you want to do that?

at least put in some effort man, please.
>>
>>556579595
Well in this case, it is indirectly because of her, though I am aware that I'm making a decision to drink and wallow in my own misery. I probably would have started drinking when she left, even if I didn't drink before with her, anyway.

Thanks for the advice, though.
>>
>>556577987

alternatively, one perspective that may work for you (it did for me) is that, now that you're FREE FROM HER, you can do whatever it is the fuck you want.

go skydiving!

go scuba diving!

backpack to a country where they don't speak your language (but where you're not likely to get mugged and de-kidneyed)!

take up a new hobby! day trading, perhaps?

sign up for a marathon 6 months from now, and TRAIN FOR IT!

so many possibilities! its like life's just begun, but only if you let it.
>>
>>556580597
Will do, thanks.
>>
>>556580190

advice... just an opinion mate.

you have the power, don't sell yourself short.

take care my friend. all the best. logging out at 2.30am here.
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