So...a couple months ago I had the most awkward moment of my life occur. And last week, the craziest thing happened. I would like some input, if you faggots don't mind. Lemme explain:
>be only child
>be a year ago
>mom and dad invite me over to talk about something
>mfw they tell me I'm not an only child
>a few years before the had me they had another kid
>they were in high school so they gave the kid up for adoption
>not sure how to feel
>fast foreward six months
>decide to find my sister
>tell him wassup
>get the dude to find my sister
>I look at the name
>mfw it's my ex
>can't even begin to grasp this
>mfw I banged the shit out of my sister in high school
>mfw I came in my sister's mouth more times than I can count
>mfw I took my sister's anal virginity
>mfw I used to cum in my sister's pussy whenever she was on her period
>Jesus fucking Christ
>text my sister
>tell her we gotta talk
>break it down for her
>mfw she doesn't blink
>she has to meet her (our) parents
>tell my parents I found my sister
>they wanna make it an event, have dinner and stuff
>mfw I have to reintroduce my ex-girlfriend to my parents as their fucking first-born daughter
>my parent's fw they see her
>cut to the most uncomfortable dinner in the history of dinner
Really, what kind of conversation do you have over dinner about that?
why would you do that? if they knew her when she was your gf/ex why would you then be like 'lul mom and dad guess what, shes your daughter'. no one would do that. your story is bullshit
your ID says BBQ DCK
To the BBQ dick and quads
I'm sorry, you're gonna have to rephrase. I don't get what you're trying to say.
my bull shit detector wants to know how much older than you is your sister? why were you the one to hire the PI? why did you and not your parents contact her?
why would you reintroduce this girl to inform them it was actually their daughter.
if they wanted to find her they could have done what you did. because you wanted to find your 'sister' doesnt mean they needed to know and then have it said to them they you two also fucked
A couple years. My parents gave her up because they were fresh 18 and still in high school at the time. Pretty much out of the womb and into an orphanage. It killed my parents to give her up so a few years later when I was born they decided to keep me even though they were both still in college. It worked out alright.
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
That is a really shit story. Try again, millenial toddler born Y2K+ fagglet.
BARBEQUE DICK IS MY SAVIOR
stopped reading here
is so great and stuff
of course they did. they figured why not.
the fact that you did all these and even still did it once you found out she was an ex proved youre just a selfish faggot and wanted to cause such an uncomfortable thing
fuck the sun, praise BBQ dick!
give him time. he has to think of it and also decide whether there is enough interest in his bullshit story to spend the time and write it out
Can I get back to the story, please? Or do you guys still wanna try to poke holes in it?
And yeah, it was gonna be awkward. But once I found her, they really wanted to meet her. What was I supposed to do, tell them I didn't really find her, that it was a joke? And then what would happen if my little "joke" spurred them into looking for her themselves? They were gonna find out one way or another...
you must be new here
OK, everyone from now on, we refuse to agnowledge OP's thread topic
Do not reply to OP, and do not mention the original topic.
This thread belongs to Barbeque Dick
ALL HAIL BARBEQUE DICK!
Have you fucked since knowing?
>Can I get back to the story, please? Or do you guys still wanna try to poke holes in it?
Yes, because you NEED to reply to everyone. Fucking idiot.
This is now a BBQ Dick thread
Daily, daily, sing the praises
Of the city BBQDICK hath made;
In the beauteous fields of Eden
Its foundation stones are laid.
O that I had wings of angels,
Here to spread and heavenward fly!
I would seek the gates of Zion,
Far beyond the starry sky.
All the walls of that dear city
Are of bright and burnished gold;
It is matchless in its beauty,
And its treasures are untold.
In the midst of that dear city
Christ is reigning on His seat,
And the angels swing their censers
In a ring about His feet.
From the throne a river issues,
Clear as crystal, passing bright,
And it traverses the city
Like a sudden beam of light.
There the forests ever blossom,
Like our orchards here in May;
There the gardens never wither,
But eternally are gay.
There the meadows green and dewy
Shine with lilies wondrous fair;
Thousand, thousand, are the colors
Of the waving flowers there.
There the wind is sweetly fragrant,
And is laden with the song
Of the seraphs, and the elders,
And the great redeemèd throng.
O I would my ears were open
Here to catch that happy strain!
O I would my eyes some vision
Of that Eden would attain!
shut up David Davidson, we know its you
postin in an epic thread lalala
Shit, you incest-loving weirdos are just jealous that it didn't happen to you. Well, I guess I am one too now, but I'm getting to that
So after that dinner:
>go outside to smoke with ex/sis
>sis says "that. Was. So. Fucking. Weird."
>"yeah. Yeah it was."
>sis: "let's...let's never ever talk about this. Ever."
>cut to one week later
>I get a text
>wants to talk
>we get coffee
>talk about how this essentially ruined everything
>mom and dad won't talk with either of us
>can't shake the weird feeling about everything
Okay, yes. I should have typed all this out beforehand. I'm leaving out important details trying to get the story out faster. I'm sorry /b/
But I shall continue if you're patient with me.
just give up
ALL RIGHT FUCKERS, LISTEN UP!
Barbeque Dick will not stand the gross injustice that OP still thinks he owns this thread.
Once again, do not reply to OP, or agknowledge, unless he resigns the thread, and praises BBQDCK
ALL HAIL BARBEQUE DICK!
The legends were true
ITT closet faggots find an outlet to express their faggotry and love of dick by latching onto a random ID
meanwhile the rest of us just want to hear more about OP's saga of accidentally his long lost sister
Yet you're both here. Whatever guys.
>we decide to do something
>go to parents' house
>have a real, honest conversation about this
>it boiled down to is saying "yes. This is super fucked up. It's strange. It's weird. But it happened. Let's move past it and try to be a family. We never have to talk about it again."
>we all agree
>still weird, but things get better on the homefront
>sis and I start hanging out semi-regularly
>we agree to never talk about our relationship again, just so it isn't weird
>it's kinda fun having a sister
>one night we get drunk together downtown
>try wing manning one another with qt3.14's
>get sloppy drunk
>go outside club to get air
>we chat next to the dumpsters over a cigarette
>sis says "hey anon."
>"you remember when we snuck tequila to the football game when you were still in high school?"
>sis says "we got piss drunk and fucked behind the dumpsters raw."
>blood to boner
just poastin in a legend thread
> Be PI
> Get a bunch of low paying assholes who want me to find their long lost something or others
> One day this beta looking motherfucker comes to me and asks me to find his long lost sister put up for adoption, gives me his sob story
> Decide I should fuck with this guy just for shits 'n gigs
> Look up the guy, find all his previous gfs, not many though so it was easy
> Find the one he dated the longest and probably introduced to his family
> Tell the kid that his ex was his sister
> He actually falls for it
can somebody archive this glorious BBQDICK thread? jesus
I am BARBEQUE THE SECOND
its an interesting scenario, true or not. im not jerking it, actually, unlike these bbq dick faggots. but ok, believe whatever you want mang
Op's story is beta bs, all hail BBQ dick!!
This is now a barbecue thread.
Post your grills
>pic related, similar to mine
fuck you nigger faggot
>> Look up the guy, find all his previous gfs, not many though so it was easy
>> Find the one he dated the longest and probably introduced to his family
>> Tell the kid that his ex was his sister
You forget that fact that she has to 'believe' it as well and have already known she was adopted or something, etc.
>Implying that BbQ is even nearly as impressive as BBQ DCK
go on plz
I bet you get all the dick posting le may mays, fagmaster
>dat pueblo tile roof
You faglord nigger bitch
I fukt ur mom
KEEP IGNORING ASS HAT OP!!
Here's a funny picture
this is a steaming pile of horse shit. nobody believes your pice of nigger shit faggot story OP. just give it up kid, its shit and better luck next time fuckboy
Finally someone who gets it!
TODAY WE SHALL FEAST IN HONOR OF BBQ DICK!
C'mon /b/ro don't leave us hangin
I mean, we were attracted to each other at one point, and we did start hanging out again.
>fuck, boner making a profile in my pants
>she sees it
>stares at it for a bit, prolly thinking the same million different things I'm thinking
>mfw we are both considering doing this
>she puts her hand on it
>gives it a firm squeeze
>she was smiling at first, like it was a joke
>mfw it's no longer a joke
>starts rubbing it
>I pull her close
>we walk further into the alley, kissing as we back peddle
>she's wearing some skimpy little miniskirt
>wraps her legs around my waist
>I push her into the wall
>pants unzip, unbutton
>we both know it's gotta happen before we agree it's a bad idea
>pull her panties pack
>insert my cock
>her pussy gives some resistance before it gets wet
>she begins to moan
>slides all the way in
>she starts getting really wet
>start increasing speed, soon begin ramming her
>some drinks walk by
>I look at them
>"this isn't a fucking show. Move the fuck on!"
>mfw people are complaining that OP is taking too long and that his story sucks
>mfw they dont realize this means the story might actually be legit
>mfw faggots are having a faggot party because a random ID can be seen as saying "bbq dick"
>mfw /b/ is full of cancer now
i know right
Your ID stands for
Your id stands for faggot
You are so full of shit.
Keep on grillin' /b/ros
>some drinks walk by
>posts old men
>is a faggot
Time to do something that should have been done a long time ago.
probability wise, at least a certain small percentage of them are true and actually did happen
you guys love dick therefore your opinion is irrelevant, thanks for rising to the b8 tho fags
>doesn't watch the red green show
>bbq dick is a faggot now
I think the best attitude to take is to think it's true so fapping is better, but to know in your HEART that it's not. But to be immensely turned on by the fact that at least once incest story you've heard is probably true.
put it on your dick faggot
Oil the fuck up and grill or gtfo
In the beginning there was only fried pussy, then one day the mighty BBQ dick arose from his 1000 year slumber to take what was rightfully his. In doing so the world was born. It has been many years since this day and the world long forgotten me, but today I cum upon you once more
>cum all over the back of her miniskirt
>foreheads resting against each other, eyes closed
>sis says exactly what I was thinking
>"this is so fucked up"
My dick does not
>we decide the night is so goddamn over
>walk back to my car
>begin driving home
>sis says "...it's because we're drunk, right?"
>I'm not drunk anymore
>sis says "let's uh...never talk about this night again"
>we get to her place
>I'm tired as fuck
>"anon, you good to drive?"
>"I'll be fine."
>sis says "...you won't. Just stay here, you can sleep on the couch"
>be laying on the couch
>three hours later
>sis wakes up, decides to take a shower
>I find out why a shower at four in the morning later
>she comes out in a towel
Anyone who doesn't eat dick in honor of Barbeque Dick is a fucking collossal faggot
I am like you faggot
I'm bbq junior
i see whut u did thar
'm glad to be alive so I can post in a legendary thread.
Hail to the BBQ Dick!
You fucked up, nigger poster.
Please oh mighty one
Enlighten us and shows us the way
What shall you have us do next?
Pay no attention to this autistic work of falsehood.
confirmed for being a faggot
Is this thread ever going to get less crap?
surely OP has not forsaken us
Look faggot, stop trying to leech off of Barbeque Dick's glory.
I have trips in my ID, you don't see me being a fag about it.
The quads are what truly make him godlike
I"M STILL WITH YOU, OP!
In your name
You dont even have jr or dck
You dont have anything else
Certainly not quads
You make me sick trying to ride to coat tails of BBQ DCK
ha ha oh wow
Stay Negro I hacked ur facebook and found this profile pic of u
>sis says "you still awake?"
>I'm on her couch, in my boxers
>it's a hot night, so no sheets
>she looks down at me, scans over my crotch
>sis says "you, uh...got some...on your boxers"
>"it's also still on my...well, yeah."
>she smiles, giggles lightly
>sis says "you remember when we used to fuck raw, and then an hour later we'd wanna do it again, so I'd suck all the cum off your cock before we fucked again?"
>shit, goddamnit, shit
>towel drops to the floor
>I stare at her tits, small but perky
>she moves over to me, gets on the couch, her head at crotch level
>she pulls my boxers down slowly
>diamond hard cock bounds out
>starts to stroke
>puts the head in her mouth
>slowly moving her mouth around it as she strokes
>I forgot how good she was at this
>begins putting more of my cock in her mouth
>starts sucking and stroking, alternating sometimes, doing them simultaneously others
>she begins to lick my balls
>sis says "just in case" and smiles
>she gives my cock one last tug with her mouth, then pulls it out of her mouth and kisses it
>her signature finish
>she gets up and straddles me
cant have to manny female famely can kill all the men if you wish xD
Okay, that was kinda clever
Btw, I'm not posting my sister, but I'll give you a pic of what her body kinda looks like
Dumping hydrant porn.
>her signature finish
Nice Try faggot
>her signature finish
well it was mildly interesting when op was still going through the background of how he accidentally his sister without knowing, how he found out, and what happen afterwards, now its just devolved into incest greentexts, im out
you got it bro