so i fucked up >be me, 30yo >went out of town for business >was there for a 12 days >tossed up an ad on the craigslist seeing is anyone wanted to grab a drink first day i was there >met this 27yo solid 9/10 >cool as fuck >good amount of shit in common >she just got out of a relationship a month ago, bored wanted to get out >grab dinner and drink >end up hanging out all night >fuck her like i hated her >she fucking cried in the middle of sex (ex issues) >she comes and hang out with me almost every evening >brings me lunch a few times >took me sight seeing >fuck yeah! i have a pretty cool friend in that city! >nothing serious, she wants to make plans / hang out next time i'm in town. and she was thinking of taking a 4 day weekend and coming here >come back home >about a month passes, she texts me almost everyday, saying hi, telling me about her day (her ex was controlling so i don't think she has many friends) >haven't heard for her in a few days >texts me tonight "you should probably know that I'm pregnant" >she isn't trying to get anything out of me, says its mine (i actually believe her) >asked me "what do i want to do?" no fucking idea what to do pic related
>>555943447 i don't have to demand she already said she would, she'd like me to help but understands is i don't >>555943769 she doesn't know my last name, where i live or work >>555943942 did the first time, sound got to fucked up, etc >>555943972 she has issues but is pretty normal... she came from abusive relationship so she is kind of clingy, looking for approval >>555944013 she texted me the shit from her dr office, has the possible date range that match up to when i was there. >>555944158 she already offered it if 'we' keep it >>555944258 >>555944345 yes
>>555942894 >>texts me tonight "you should probably know that I'm pregnant" >>she isn't trying to get anything out of me, says its mine (i actually believe her) >>asked me "what do i want to do?" >she isn't trying to get anything out of me, says its mine (i actually believe her) >(i actually believe her)
Im gonna talk to you like a human, instead of a faggot on 4chan. If you like the girl, which apprently it seems you do... Why not be with her? You think shes hot, go for it. like to be with her, go for it. Ask for a test though to make sure its yours though... could be the ex's before they broke up. but, I say go for it /b/ro.
If I was in your shoes, I'd give it a shot. Personally I want kids. It sounds like you too hit it off quite nicely. However, I'm only worried the kid isn't yours. If you decide to do it, paternity test for sure
>>555946982 I agree. If you wont marry her and raise the child together the best to do is at least abortion. Better have him back into whatever heave you believe, than here lacking a functional family and questioning himself
>>555948104 >implying you NEED to have kids to watch kids shows and shit >implying childhood is anything special Having a kid BECOMES your life, and you can't do anything else. Say goodbye to career, ambition, and other important things.
i told her if there is a chance its not mine, ill fully pay for the abortion so she wont have to stress or deal with some asshole >she started crying "i'm not a whore, your the only person i had sex with in the past three months" >me: "why did you tell me to cum in you" >her: "you were so sweet to me i wanted to make you feel good" >me: "it kinda implied you were on birth control" >her: "it was suppose to be one of my safe day"
>>555948551 Lel, implying you can't be successful and mature if you like things marketed for "kids" Maturity is based not on giving up kids things, but embracing responsibility. You can be responsible and have different likes.
My life is my life. There's no guarantee that your offspring will look after you later. Hell, they could be a constant burden on you and make you age faster. I'd rather invest that time and effort into my own life and keep fucking random bitches.
Honestly if I were you, I would give a relationship with that girl a good shot. Also don't ask her to have an abortion. Kids are awesome and they can be really rewarding to raise. You say you were out of town for business? I assume you have at least a half way decent job then and would be able to support a family. I say go for it man.
HOWEVER, before anything is certain, have a paternity test to confirm it's yours.
No offense but this girl is on craigslist meeting people you can't exactly be 100% sure it's yours, although I sort of agree, the odds of it being yours are probably up there.
You're going to grow up and have regrets when you're an old miserable man with nothing to do. Thinking you are FOR SURE never going to have kids at 21 is beyond arrogant and immature and you shouldn't make a decision like that until you are at least well into your 30's.
>>555950206 What happens when the 3rd girl I bang when I'm 24 gets knocked up and keeps it? Then I'm financially responsible and have the burden of one who human being on my shoulders for the rest of my life. I'd rather never have kids than have one too soon and ruin my aspirations.
>>555946282 This faggot has a point. Don't be a bitch. She's probably to hot for you anyways and willing to settle on behalf of the pregnancy and being emotionally unstable from the breakup. You're set.
if your plan was to meet up with her again, the fact that she is pregnant will be there like an elephant in the room the whole time. if you wanted to give her a shot at a relationship, how much would it be out of the fact that she is pregnant?
either pay for the abortion and still try to date her, so you make sure you know what youre getting into. also will have to deal with the guilt of the abortion, but you can try for kids again later somewhere down the road if things pan out.
or date her and take the chance of her being nuts and having to raise a kid with her.
or abort and never talk to her again and wonder what could have happened for the rest of your life, since youre at that age where you are looking for something more permanent.
>>555951040 Every ounce of my being is blaming you for the problems of modern first world society. People can't fucking AFFORD to raise children when they're 24. The kids suffer, and the parents lose their 20's to raising children. The fuck is wrong with you?
>breaking back at 30 Or, and get this, OR I could just be in fucking shape without children and get pussy and have fun and make money?
>>555942894 OP, serious response here from someone with a brain. Test if it's your kid, just to be sure. If it is, raise it and settle down. You're 30, if you're going to have a kid at some point now's a good time.
Also, never come onto fucking /b/ for advice ever again. Most of these people don't know shit about responsibility and getting someone pregnant, let alone sex.
Yeah I do love kids and plan to have at least 3. How could you not love kids is the better question? Miserable bitter cunt.
Also, once you get older, you really start to wish you had more of a purpose. Going to bars and partying can't go on forever. Most older people feel like they need a higher calling/purpose in life and kids often fill that void. You will be bitter and miserable.
>>555952468 Purpose? I'm 30 and have had two women in my life get abortions. Best decisions ever. Whenever I get the opportunity to sleep in, get drunk, go out, or even jack off without having to worry about anything else but myself is enough for me. Fuck having to raise a kid.
>>555953137 I'll be 50 and able to do everything I just said without having to worry about a kid. No one moves out of the house at 18 anymore. I'll be damned if I want to support some fucking parasite until they're 30.
I'm 21 and already over partying and was never into bars to begins with. In fact I work in a bar on the beach. The fact is, I see the world for what it really is. And kids aren't my salvation, now or ever. There are things that I can do with my time to stay productive. I'm glad you have the mentality for them and can enjoy them. I, however, am too into my own life and happiness to bring another human being into this world to complicate that.
The question is, is OP ready to give up his aspirations in exchange for a child. Will he ENJOY raising a child at all? If the answer is no, he should bolt. If yes, then he should try it with the woman and raise the kid regardless of how their relationship works out. Kids aren't the end of the world, but you have to want one. They're not a meal you can just scrape off the plate when you're done with it.
>>555952468 I can not love kids because I love my ear drums. I can not love kids because I love my career. I can not love kids because I can not love frustration. I can not love kids because I love life. And how does having a kid give life a purpose? It gives you just another goal to work towards, one which sets you back SO much.
If you are seriously considering having kids with, pay an investigator to have a background check on her. If everything checks out, go back there and try to get to know her better. And if you are SURE that you can live with her for the rest of you live, then keep the baby.
I'm 31, earn enough now to not worry about raising some little money sucking shit to look after me later in life. I know loads of people that have followed the same path and are happy. Children are so commercial today.
>>555953965 so it sounds more like your torn between not having enough time to get to know her and raising a baby with a stranger who you get along with very well. it could be worse. atleast you liked her, and let her keep getting to know you for you.
at the end of the day man, its up to you whether you see this thing through or not.
definitely do the paternaty test, but how much worse would this make your life if you decide to stay with her? i think that is the real question.
>>555953965 Here's the deal OP. You said you are 30 and that isn't a bad age to settle down into. Look at it optimistically. This might be one of the best mistakes you ever made and you might live happily ever after. Of course there is always the chance of being ass raped in court for child support as well.
>>555953735 her phone was having issues one night so she used my laptop to look something up, left her self log in to her personal email, i was noisy and took a peak noting there, she replied to a couple ads that night we met (she already told me that), other then that just girly and family shit.
>>555953965 If you think you could be happier with her than with what ever your current situation I say go for it. Feel things out and talk abut whether you guys should abort or not. You should really be talking to her about this and not a bunch of bros so you can see how you guys feel. If you dot think it'll work, abort and move on with your life.
>>555955636 I think it's pathetic that you devote your life to anything but yourself, that you have this deluded idea that you're making humanity better by passing your weak ass genes down. You wanna improve humanity? Kill yourself.
Well, she's 27, her looks should of started to fade.
Ask your self:
>Is she hot as fuck? at 27? >Could I fuck this for the rest of my life? >Did we have dat soullink connection? >Is there a skeleton in the closet? (It's a metaphor) >Will she bug the fucking shit out of me in a few years? >Can I support them? >Can I do better? >Is this 8/10 QT good enough? (She looks aesthetically pleasing to me.) >Have I got this shit tested to make sure it's mine?
If you answered yes to everything then you are on the track to be her bf, she looks like a nice trophy whore, and if she was "having unprotected sex" to "make you feel good" she obviously wants to please you and would make you a sammich, or get back to the kitchen, which she already brought you food so this is a good sign you have a good partner.
You have the upperhand and could potentially have a gold mine here.
And remember: >For every hot girls out there, there's always a guy sick and tired of listening to her shit.
20 years ago I would have agreed that having a child was a worthwhile thing. Fact is, the genetic argument is stupid. Humans have changed the selective pressured in life. It's now money for fucks sake.
Nothing else matters. Accept it. Every industry comes back to money. It's the one main selective pressure today.
I am enjoying my life very much and I have many goals. For instance, I'd like to become a doctor and I am working diligently on achieving that goal. Another goal is to take a flight to space which costs 250k, I'd like to travel Europe again, meet new people, have wonderful experiences and live life.
However. When I am in my mid 30's-early 40's, I want to settle down. I want a family and a wife.
I think it's pathetic that you hold the views that you do, especially at your age.
>>555955131 >best mistakes you ever made i respect the fact that she told me i can loose touch now, she wont try to find me and not to find her. she might keep it or not. but i dont have to have anything to do with them if she keeps it
yo man, i know a guy who dated this girl for 9 years, broke up, got her knocked up when he was drunk, had a kid, and now are only in good relations because of the kid. he loves his child, i can see that. and i do not think he regrets it even a little bit, even though it did change his life. kids dont really destroy life, it's your decision to see it that way. if a person who dated someone for 9 years and breaks up, whats it to say that someone you barely knew can be your future wife?
Let me give you a little pointer anon; the younger you are the greener the grass appears. I used to think exactly like yourself. As you grow up, you realise the guy that pays you, as a doctor, didn't study anywhere near as much as you have. He earns a truckload more. The world is an ugly, ugly place anon once that green grass starts to turn brown. Your outlook on things starts to become more realistic instead of all these bullshit pipe dreams your led to believe as a student.
I don't really give a fuck what you think of what I've just said. It's my observations and experiences. You have your own and I respect that.
>>555955919 >Is she hot as fuck? at 27? yes >Could I fuck this for the rest of my life? yes, she also told me she is bi, lot of potential there >Did we have dat soullink connection? we really hit it off >Is there a skeleton in the closet? (It's a metaphor) my ex gf still lives with me (broken up for about a year, roommate thing, cool woman, nothing in common, i always talk shit to her bf) >Will she bug the fucking shit out of me in a few years? we got fucked up, had sex, then cuddled and she put adult swim on >Can I support them? yes >Can I do better? its all relative >Is this 8/10 QT good enough? (She looks aesthetically pleasing to me.) i like girly, short, thin waist and curvy >Have I got this shit tested to make sure it's mine? she ifs insisting on it
>>555942894 Well you're 30 so you may want to keep the kid. If shes that hot and has that much in common with you shes surely a keeper. Plus if you're half descent looking your kid should be pretty good looking too. Or if you do not want kids propose an abortion or adoption. Cause I mean by the time that kid graduates you'll be 48. My parents were 39 when I graduated. You want enough time to live your life, but you also dont want to start so late in building a family that you're old as dirt before they even graduate college.
Because most 21 year old's don't know fuck all about what they want in life and people's mindset and views are changing constantly. He might think he doesn't want kids at 21 but 15 years into the future he'll it'll start to appeal to him more.
>>555958446 Speaking as, I'm 29 also, so not some young faggot.
This would seam like an opportunity, to start a family, she seams pretty compatible for you.
Here's a fun story:
>Live with a housemate >He broke up with his gf >They got back together >I left to go on a trip >Come back and he got her pregnant >They're now realizing simple shit doesn't matter, and matured up. >He was against kids, but really doesn't mind it, it's not the end of the world.
>>555959015 just comes down to i spent a had full of time with her, barley know her. >if i was dating her or friends for like 3-6 months id probably be okay with it all... the fact of thinking of starting a family with a stranger
Very possible, Costs 250k. Space tourism is a budding industry and Virgin Galactic does sub orbital space flights that last 2.5 hours for 250k. You get experience weightlessness, see the planet from space and it's amazing.
>Travel Europe, meet new people
Realistic, have already traveled to 2 countries there.
>>555959515 If you're trying to tell me anyone likes poverty, you're delusional. Hence what we're trying to explain to you. I may not want the same career then as I do now, but I can say with the utmost confidence that I'll always want to be at LEAST semi well off so that I can do more shit I want to do. Having a kid at any time costs you a fuck ton of money, and limits EVERYTHING you can do. You trying to tell me that at 40 you'll have the same views you do when you're 55? Ohp, what's that, you wanna take up fencing? NOPE, KID
>>555942894 why the FUCK ARE YOU ASKING THIS QUESTION YOU STUPID USELESS CLUELESS AUTISTIC FAGGOT, YOU FUCKING ABORT. BITCH GETS PREGNANT YOU RIP THAT LIFERUINING LITTLE SHITHEAD OUT OF HER BODY AND STOP ON IT. ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT FAGGOT, HOLY SHIT.
>>555942894 Looking at the situation, the other guy was and very possibly still is banging this girl. You know how women are with ex's that they are still in love with or recently were. You were probably a bench mark to see if she could actually leave him. I'd say 10 percent to 20 that its yours. Think about this also, she obviously makes bad decisions....bangs a guy without a condom that is from out of town, cant make a hoe a housewife man. Just make sure you get the test no matter what, kids probably black. lol.
>>555960454 Fuck it, I'm tired, and I'm going to bed. I'm tired and I have to work tomorrow. Because you know, responsibility. Which you'll never understand If you want me to keep arguing, imagine a "kill yourself" after everything you post, it'd simulate my presence aptly enough.
look, here's something to consider. everybody has all those good feelings about romance in the beginning, right? you think she's fun, she puts on adult swim, you guys clicked. but assuming that will be the relationship now and forever is just a little foolish.
you'll get tired of her, but now you'll have a kid.
1. have an abortion but talk with her first. Tell her the truth: that it's too early to start a family but that you really like her and wanna see her more
2. depending on her reaction and the time that follows you'll see if she's a person worth starting a family with or not. Make your choice later, not sooner. If she's worth it she'll want to keep seeing you.
>>555960094 we haven't even spent the night together, i haven't seen her at her worst... its like you know you really care about someone when you seen them when they first wake up looking like shit.
i think im going to fly her out here this weekend, have her stay with me for a few days.
>>555960659 i'm not being optimistic, i really doubt she is seeing him,. i can get a hold of her all hours, she moved back home, fucking called her cell once had have a pretty cool conversation with her father (oh, your anon i heard about... blah blah happy blah), she was in the shower.
>>555960454 "the earth, as a whole, would be better off if peole were having less children."
so wanting not just humans, but all other life on the planet to be better off is misanthropic? either you dont know what that word means or youre a bright eyed 16 year old christian. youve got lots to learn about the real world, lil guy.
You have children, you raise them well, they become hard working, productive members of society that strive towards making the world a better place.
If you can't do this then you may as well off yourself now. In the animal kingdom, it's paramount for animals to have offspring to continue their species. If you can't pass your genes on and raise good offspring, then you're useless.
Do it op. Roll the fucking dice. If it's yours ( which you'll find out after the test of course ). You won't regret it. It will be hard at times. I'm sure. We both know that. But based off what I've read from you. I say give it a shot.
>>555965187 >Implying the girl that let him bareback after 3 days isn't carrying the bastard son of her ex or some other craigslist hookup. Everything about her sounds like a textbook whore until proven otherwise.
>>555942894 some of this has been said but just to reiterate.
1.paternity test 2.actually learn something about her ->criminal record check background check whatever 3.probably meet her parents to see if they're decent people 4.Does she have a decent job?
Mostly I feel like this is not a good situation. It just cries fucked up. But if all the above came out okay and I got along with the person and she was bringing me lunch and she was hot and I had a lot in common with her and I was 30 I might just go for it. But honestly you have no idea what this person is like apart from several days of meeting.
worst case having a kid with a good friend isn't the worst shit in the world compared to half the fucked up situations i see
she almost seems like she was holding back any excitement that she was pregnant, i really think she wants to be a mother
ill get the test, i want to get it done while she is pregnant if we go that route (i know risky and expensive) maybe a lie director test to see if she was fucking anyone else... but if its mine i would want to be involved with what she is going threw
even if its not mine i would still probably date her
>>555942894 I never really had issues...I mean, socially or mentally. I was always smart, but everyone was a two-faced prick to me (my family, my classmates, my teachers), so I've had on-off depression for years.
They justified me in those classes because when I was born they vaguely said parts of my brain did not work correctly or fully, and after I learned how to talk I became mute for a while. Was probably because of my mother's wonderful boyfriends and their bordering-on-abuse aggression towards me.
>>555965570 she is a manager of some kind of equipment supply company, i talked to her father once, ex army, cool guy, knew all about me, wants to grab a drink when I'm out there. told me he happy she is hanging out with someone who is not a piece of shit like her ex, said im always welcome at his place
>>555953965 reading this, maybe you better just get in there and really think about it. I think you should talk to her about it. Also you're fucking 30. You've had your fun time. at 27 she's had hers too. Time to be grown ups.
I'm 34 now. what I feel is 30 is that time you should be thinking about a family if you're going to do it. That is prime time. IF she's actually a good person you somehow stumbled into, the fun relationship stuff will still be there but you gotta squeeze it out of the daily mundane. My main concern your commitment level is basically a thread and having a kid essentially ties you to someone forever.
>>555943769 /agree (hopefully she doesn't know much about you) -- she's either lying (and there's really no reason to ever talk to her again because she is crazy) or telling the truth (and there's really no reason to ever talk to her again).
If you really want to be a gentleman -- have her pee on a stick in front of you -- drive her to an aborting clinic (in a rental) and make sure she gets it done.
You're talking 18 years of a shit ton of money -- worth it if she knows too much about you.
>>555955919 man, you don't get it at all. choose a life partner like you'd choose a tag-team partner. covers your back, tags you out when you need a break, picks you up off the mat when you get body slammed and you do the same.
>>555942894 >>555942894 I'd say keep it but take into account both of your situations. what is money like? do you both have consistent paying jobs? would you consider your current jobs "careers"? you're 30 and she's 27 which is definitely getting towards the "settling down" age. I say if you think you've got the funds and you've got the time, and you've got the BALLS. then do it.
>>555961920 thought. heard bill murray gave this impromptu speech at a bachelor party. Went along the lines of if you want to marry someone, go on a long trip with them. If you are okay with them by the end, marry them at the airport when you arrive home. Best advice I ever heard. Go on a trip with her and see how well you work together.
>>555968040 i don't want to sound like some privilege douche, but i'm the VP of IT for a large medical company... not privileged or anything stated off working maintenance there when i was 22 >i can fully support her, family, whatever and before someone calls bull shit... paycheck
>>555969442 I'm not saying a lie detector is a bad idea, but it's not a socially acceptable idea. I think she'd be more likely to see you after an abortion than a lie detector test. Whether she slept with other people at the time is more or less her private thing in the end but having a kid involves you so that's fair game, see?
>>555942894 Man up, take care your bastard; don't be a dead beat. First do the right thing, sit down with the bitch and talk about it responsibly. See where you all are at in your life, can you handle a kid? (Consider: Time, Effort, Money, Living Arrangements, Food, Babysitting Arrangements, Relationship, Schooling) Stop taking dumb ass advice from dead beats on 4chan. If you decide this is all worth it, then step up to the plate and make this bitch yours. It aint a bad thing if she looks good and you can tolerate her ass.
>>555972174 ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT !ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORTION! ABORT IT! ABORT IT ! ABORT IT ! YOU ARE NOT TO BE A FATHER FAGGOT
>>555972558 my ex and i dated for like 5 years, she isn't a bad roommate she does the shopping, cooks and cleans. her bf is kind of a douche and i make fun of him every time he is around... the prego girl knows about her and my ex is looking forward to meeting her.... my ex was a good friend but we were just different people, she been going back to school and i cant just abandon her... plus she never pulled the common law bs with me, she just asked to stay while she was in school
THATS WHY YOU DONT FUCK CHICKS ON CRAIGSLIST YOU IDIOT!!!!! There is only one way to save yourself, tell her you want to get to know her better, ask her to hang out with you, then if your realy really sure that she is pregnant with your kid. FALCON PUNCH!
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