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ITT we start a new religion. 1 decides what we call it.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 151
Thread images: 28

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ITT we start a new religion. 1 decides what we call it.
>>
Christanity
>>
op is a fagism
>>
Tits
>>
Elliott Rodgerism
>>
The god isnt real religion.
>>
Shred Love
>>
Layers of Shrek
>>
Jewslam
>>
Shead
>>
scumfucks
>>
prego-ism
>>
The Church of Baja Blast.
>>
>>555941961
im cool with this
>>
Okay, we are the Shead. 69 rolls for our god's name and 9 gets to choose our depiction.
>>
Church of the Public Masturbator
>>
>>555942451
Our God is Batman, and we believe he looks like the Batman: The Animated Series version
>>
>>555942451
thomas
>>
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Shithed

who is a rainbow swastika
>>
>>555942451
Name if get: Krak'l'nor
Depiction if get: Siamese kitten the size of canada
>>
The Dildoers where we help people or hurt them depending on what a dildo says, we also leave dildos as a sign the we are watching
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Rodger
>>
>>555942751
reroll
>>
Potatoism
>>
>>555942671
rerollin
>>
>>555942451
We just call it our god, no name or anything. Christianity style.
It's a storm god. And an angry one. Once a peaceful and loving god, the hatred of mankind has polluted it like we polluted its oceans.
Hurricanes? Earthquakes? Those have just been it practicing for the end of our evil.
>>
>>555942451
>Shrok
>>
>>555942451
zim zam
>>
God is Richard stallman
>>
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We call him Heaven and our goddess is named Moot. His face is just a tiger and he has the body of ryan gosling
>>
>>555943439
"Flim Flam"
>>
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>>555943617
re-rolling
>>
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We are the Shead, and our god looks like George Zimmerman. 69 and 72 now for his name
>>
Elliot Rodger
>>
>>555943908
Aucklinfag
>>
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>>555943908
rolling for name being Heaven because heaven is my god <3
>>
>>555942451
His regal gracehood, the most benevolentship lord and guider, master of the multiverse, provider of light food electricity internet world wide webs in 30 minutes or less, the quasher of heretics and squisher of the unworthy masses, master of space and time, leader of Shead , Comodore Fjdididnsjsjdjjsjajakdvwbabshdhsjajdjdnxnfjssh the humble.
>>
>>555943908
fat zimmerman to be specific
>>
>>555943908
Dinomorph Shitdick
>>
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>>555944223
re-rolling
>>
rolling for anonianity
>>
>>555943908
Negrocasso

Casso being Latin for destroy
>>
changing rolls for name to 7, 8, and 9 for this to go faster. 96 decides how we pray
>>
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>>555942451
God=Shacklcock the shitty shed.
Depiction=a poorly crafted wooden outhouse with shitstains on it and a golden toilet inside.
>>
>>555942451
His name is Kahsnarg
>>
Moot

Pray by shitposting
>>
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>>555944760
rolling for Heaven as name
>>
>>555944756
reroll
>>
>>555942451
His name is Bug'rol the Devour er
>>
>>555942451
Andrew
>>
>>555939928
Heaven is our god
>>
We are the Shead, our god's name is Shacklcock, and he looks like good 'ol Zim Zam. 96, 88, 45, 73 for how we pray.
>>
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Jimmay Sgegsnush
>>
>>555943908

Lord Jim Anus
>>
>>555944223
lol fag
>>
>>555943908
Nigger Reaper
Or better yet
"The Blacks Reaper"
>>
Rolling for supreme gentleman
>>
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>>555945296
we pray by wiping our cum on homeless children then slitting our wrists and posting to tumblr
>>
>>555939928
>Dickbutt
>Instead of there being a christmas. we all get fucked in the ass.
>>
>>555945296
ingesting semen
>>
Feminology
>>
>>555945597
Rerolling
>>
>>555943908
Gigganigga
>>
>>555945804
this
>>
>>555943908
Twilight sparkle
69 get
>>
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We pray by struggling to light a campfire in the rain for 30 minutes
>>
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>>555945597
re-roll cause fuck niggers
>>
we pray by posting cp on /b/
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Moot
>>
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>>555939928
Pray by bending over with your dick tugged in your right hand. For every time you thing of something selfless, you must stroke. Once you finish you smear the semen on your brow and kiss the floor chanting 3 hail zim zams when you finish.
>>
>>555945296
shitting on our mothers faces
>>
>>555945740
reroll for cum guzzling
>>
>>555945821
Rerolling
>>
Doesn't /k/ have their own religion?
Something about a Canadian death cube?
>>
>>555946265
again
>>
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>>555945597
roll for me or you're a gigga nigga
>>
>>555946293
Rolling for stealing /k/'s relegion
>>
>>555945296
licking testicles
>>
everytime it's 00:00 01:01 02:02 03:03 and so on you Must yell hail the mighty zim zam

captcha: zimgtion believe
>>
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I'm giving it to 97 (cuz it's almost 96). We are the Shead, who worship Shacklcock the Zimmerman-like by wiping our cum on homeless children then slitting our wrists and posting to tumblr.
>>
We pray by stabbing a nigger in front of a picture of Shacklcock, using his blood as lube, and start chanting whilst masturbating, "Shimmy Zimmy Shammy Zammy, Frazzle dazzle rock dock Shacklcock"
>>
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>>555947543
<4 I'd still like to change our gods name to Heaven and his Goddesses name to be Moot
>>
7 rolls for what our most sacred relic is and 2 gets how we use it.
>>
>>555943908
Churchmouse
>>
>>555947995
Our most sacred relic is Shacklcock's golden pistol and we use it on niggers in his name
>>
If you roll 102, our god's name becomes moot.
>>
>>555947995
Dildo

As a coat hanger
>>
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>>555947995
our most sacred relic is a dragon dildo used by zim zam and we use it by wiping the blood from our prayer to lube it up and shove it up the newest member of the churches ass
>>
>>555947995
A golden winged dragon dildo of the Magma Drake variety
>>
>>555947995
phallic shaped stones and we put them up other peoples' butts
>>
We are the Shead, who worship Shacklcock the Zimmerman-like by wiping our cum on homeless children then slitting our wrists and posting to tumblr and our sacred relic is used as a coat hanger.
>>
>>555947995

skeletons of children
>>
Rerolling for a sentient tumor on Obama's left thigh
>>
Logicallity
Using logic and reason beyond all else and the belief that there exists no God(s).
>>
>>555948651
Rerolling this one
>>
>>555947995
The gun zim zam used on Trayvon. It can only be used by someone with the heart for killing niggers
>>
>>555939928
>life
>>
>>555947995
Panamanian Testicle eating piranha of clairvoyance. Who ever has their balls bitten earns the gift of clairvoyance and is named priest.
>>
fruitflies.
>>
>>555948651
Rerolling this one again
>>
Universalism.

The belief that God is the universe and physical rules that govern it which are responsible for everything. There is still some debate about whether God is sentient or not.
>>
>>555948473
our sacred item is obviously a keyboard
>>
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We are the Shead who pray to Shacklcock, father of Holy Zimmerman, by wiping cum on homeless children and subsequently slitting our wrists and posting to tumblr. Our most sacred relic is the Panamanian Testicle eating piranha of clairvoyance. Who ever has their balls bitten earns the gift of clairvoyance and is named priest and it is used to hang garments. 1, 2, and 3 for other miscellaneous beliefs (only 3).
>>
>>555948292
>>555949197
winRAR
>>
>>555949787
We pray to a sentient tumor on obama's left thigh on every friday of a full moon.
>>
Cyrotology
>>
>>555945597
Rollin
>>
>>555949787


Holy Zimmerman was born of a virgin
>>
>>555949787
We believe that Shacklcock's holy golden gun contains enough power to wipe out an entire city's black community
>>
>>555941961
winrar
>>
>>555950119
Rerolling this
>>
Belief: Pleasuring yourself is a sacred act, and one should strive to have as many witnesses as possible to the act.
>>
in China lives the reincarnation of trayvon, the person who finds and shoot him become zimsus, the Jesus of the sheads
>>
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We are the Shead who pray to Shacklcock, father of Holy Zimmerman, by wiping cum on homeless children and subsequently slitting our wrists and posting to tumblr. Our most sacred relic is the Panamanian Testicle eating piranha of clairvoyance. Who ever has their balls bitten earns the gift of clairvoyance and is named priest and it is used to hang garments. We also believe that Shacklcock's holy golden gun contains enough power to wipe out an entire city's black community. Additionally We pray to a sentient tumor on obama's left thigh on every friday of a full moon. Finally, Pleasuring yourself is a sacred act, and one should strive to have as many witnesses as possible to the act. Anything we missed for a religion?
>>
>>555951156
the Name of our "bible"
>>
>>555951156
we forgot to include the militant assholes who make us all look bad
>>
>>555949787
For every child your first wife births, you will have that many virgins when you go to heaven. For every child your second wife births, you will have twice as many virgins, including the virgins from the first wife. This continues in the same pattern with every wife. For every child born out of wedlock, you lose all your accumulated virgins and must sacrifice your wives and start the whole virgin acquiring again.
>>
Adolfism
>>
9 rolls for what we call our holy book. 8 gets what day we pray on.
>>
>>555951456
I second this
>>
>>555949787
we ingest semen every thursday morning to show that we are not as holy as shacklcock
>>
>>555951753
wikipedia
frigay
>>
>>555951753
The Cunt Crusades

Thursday evening at 7:47 P.M. exactly
>>
>>555951753
Fifty Shades of Shacklcock.

We pray on every 21st tuesday
>>
>>555951753
Wednesday's at noon
>>
>>555952069
i like it and reroll for the tim
>>
>>555951753
the 25th hour of the day; everyday
>>
>>555951503
on 4 chan that would be all of us
>>
We are the Shead who pray to Shacklcock, father of Holy Zimmerman, by wiping cum on homeless children and subsequently slitting our wrists and posting to tumblr. Our most sacred relic is the Panamanian Testicle eating piranha of clairvoyance. Who ever has their balls bitten earns the gift of clairvoyance and is named priest and it is used to hang garments. We also believe that Shacklcock's holy golden gun contains enough power to wipe out an entire city's black community. Additionally We pray to a sentient tumor on obama's left thigh on every friday of a full moon. Finally, Pleasuring yourself is a sacred act, and one should strive to have as many witnesses as possible to the act. Our bible is "The Cunt Crusades". It includes such stories as "Hitler did nothing wrong" as well as a full recollections of the virgin births of Elliot Rodgers and George Zimmerman.
>>
>>555951753
"Encyclopedia Dramatica"

We pray every day at around 4 PM
>>
>>555943908
Groak
>>
>>555952435
We pray on wednesday.
>>
>>555939928
That pic is Eve and Lucifer? First woman ever and she cheats. How surprising is that?
>>
>>555952435
what about the tenants of our religions
>>
29th of Febuary
>>
>>555952435
We pray every single day at around 4 PM, but we pray three times (morning, noon, evening) on Saturday
>>
>>555952435
What's our policy on women?
>>
4 gets our policy on women
>>
>>555952435
Who shall be our holy scribe and screenshot the beginning of the Shead religion?
>>
>>555954024
The women that are deemed most fertile will be used to give birth to as many children as possible to allow the religion to grow.
>>
>>555954024
Women are vile disgusting filth and, upon birthing children, are to be executed.
>>
>>555954683
Rerolling this
>>
Women must be covered from head to toe in public, but must remain naked at home.
>>
>>555954683
Rerolling this
>>
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We are the Shead who pray to Shacklcock, father of Holy Zimmerman, by wiping cum on homeless children and subsequently slitting our wrists and posting to tumblr. Our most sacred relic is the Panamanian Testicle eating piranha of clairvoyance. Who ever has their balls bitten earns the gift of clairvoyance and is named priest and it is used to hang garments. We also believe that Shacklcock's holy golden gun contains enough power to wipe out an entire city's black community. Additionally We pray to a sentient tumor on obama's left thigh on every friday of a full moon. Finally, Pleasuring yourself is a sacred act, and one should strive to have as many witnesses as possible to the act. Our bible is "The Cunt Crusades". It includes such stories as "Hitler did nothing wrong" as well as a full recollections of the virgin births of Elliot Rodgers and George Zimmerman. Our outlook on the world is that everyone is a nigger and if you don't worship us we will burn you and your family
>ftfy
>>
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I thought /b/ already had a religion you fucking zealots! Have you forgotten about the Roody Poos? You should all be X-Communicatd
>>
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>>555959207
Roody-Poos are wrong! They worship the wrong god!
>>
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Cuddly Adorable Tonguebather
>>
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guise, lets not let this thread die
>>
>>555959374
No, it is you that worships a false god! UKIP and Hitler are the only true gods.
>>
We pray at precisely 6:66 AM on the dot while smearing feces on our altars which are covered in pictures of the Holy Zimmerman, as a testament and sacrifice to our Lord.
Thread posts: 151
Thread images: 28


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